Chapter Forty

Previously on Boston Public: Harvey posited that it might be wise to use the phrase "African-American Black Colored Negroes"; Dana "Slow-lita" Poole kissed Harry Senate; Harry saw Dana stripping at a club; Dana blackmailed Harry with the fact that she kissed him. (Huh? Yes.)

The Dungeon. Harry is grading papers, and saying, "Loves me. Loves me not." No wonder he gets into trouble. Ronnie comes in and invites him out for a drink with some of the teachers, and he says she should go and just let him know what it's like. "Doyle's?" "Fun." Heh. Speaking of trouble, some dame appears in Harry Senate's doorway, and he knows she's trouble the minute she comes in off the rain-soaked streets and into his life. It's Dana Poole, otherwise known as Slow-lita, for the way she comes off as some hard-core sex kitten, but really she and Harry just kissed. She asks if he's got a second, and he says yeah, and she says he looks great, and he's all, "Yeah, um. So do you." Fascinating.

"A teacher?" says Harry, incredulously. It's later that night, and he and Slow-lita seem to just be starting their conversation. Wow, she is Slow-lita. Apparently, she's doing some project where she's supposed to spend a week with someone in a given profession, who inspired her, to help her pick a major. Um, "teacher" is a major now? Okay. Also, we learn that she goes to Smith, which is funny. Because there's no boys, so she'll have to...you know...kiss other girls...Ooookay! So, where was I? Ah, yes. She's going to hang out with Harry, and ask him questions about teaching and stuff, and learn about careerism in the teaching profession, and this will comprise her "Freshman Thesis." What's that now? Harry is, understandably, dubious that such a thing even exists, and asks to see documentation on the project. "What, you think I came back here to seduce you?" Harry gives her a look, like: "C'mon. Who can resist these baby browns?"

The day. Boston continues to exist, as the establishing shots make clear. Look, a high school!

The hallway. Dick Teachie is with Talk Time, at her locker. It seems she's bailing out on helping the kids swim at the pool today, because she's so weighed down with end-of-semester work. Teachie tells her not to stress, and helps her out a little: "Well, you read Grapes of Wrath, right? And you know your Hemmingway? Well, don't worry about Faulkner." Talk Time says she still has too much work to go to the pool today, and leaves. As Teachie walks away, he says, "How you doin', Hunt?" to some kid, who clearly overheard this last exchange, and was not pleased by it.

Someone is handling various items on a desk: a liberty bell, photographs. The hands belong to a dapper-looking older black man. The door to the room opens, and the man asks, "Are you Harvey Lipschultz?" Because it is in fact Harvey who has entered, he says, "What did I do?" The man, who identifies himself as Lester, says that Harvey didn't do anything. Then he changes his mind, and says that, actually, Harvey did, and asks if they can go somewhere and talk. Harvey's all, "Do you plan to rob me? I watch the news. Robbers, they target senior citizens. Especially, those who are losing their minds. Well, I haven't lost my mind. Go rob somebody else!" Lester fumbles and flounders for a bit, insisting that Harvey should just meet him for lunch at Doyle's, and gives Harvey his card. "Is this some kind of a joke?" "This is no joke," says Lester. "My name is Lester. Lester Lipschultz." The wind instruments of import-of-having- the-same-last-name begin to play, and Lester leaves, as mysteriously as we can only assume he arrived. Harvey watches him go, clearly thinking: "Lester Lipschultz? More like Pester Lipschultz."

Sanctum Stevenorium. Hunt is here, complaining to Scott and Steven about the unfair help Dick Teachie gives to Talk Time. Apparently, Teachie grades on a curve, but, because it is Talk Time who ruins the curve for everybody else, his giving her extra help is particularly galling. Hunt, of course, doesn't use the phrase "particularly galling." Hunt relates what he overheard about Teachie assuring her that Faulkner isn't going to be on the exam. "This has been going on all year, and the rest of us are being penalized for it." Steven says they'll look into it, but looks exasperated. Scott, however, nods to Hunt encouragingly.

The stairwell. Harry and Scott converge on the stairs, and each has a favor to ask of the other. Slow-lita wants to interview Scott for her project, and Scott wants to ask Harry about Dick Teachie and Talk Time. After Scott explains the complaint, Harry says, "That doesn't sound like Danny." But I don't understand why Scott is asking. What business is it of Harry's? Why would he know anything? Dick Teachie, who happens upon this discussion, feels the same way: "What doesn't sound like Danny?" Scott explains the complaint. Again. "That's ridiculous. And why would you go to Harry with that instead of me?" Scott says, "I was on my way to find you when I encountered Mr. Senate." For some reason, Teachie deems this to be an acceptable explanation, despite the fact that it makes no sense. I mean, so when Scott goes in search of someone, with sensitive information regarding them, he'll just discuss it with whoever he happens to run into on the way? Good policy. Anyway, Teachie is summoned to a meeting in Steven's office.

Harvey and Pester are at lunch at Doyle's. Pester is talking: "I was born in New York, in 1943. My mother's name was Iris Williams. I never knew my father. He was in the army. Sent overseas before I was born. My mother told me that he died there. In action." But Lester's mom only wanted him to believe that his father was killed in the war, and, before she died, revealed the truth: Lester was the result of a one-night stand with a man named Harvey Lipschultz. "I believe you are my father." Harvey asks, "Is this some kind of scam?" Lester says that the dates check out, but Harvey isn't hearing it: "It's a lie! I've only been with one woman in my life: my wife Helen! And if you come near me again, I'll call the police!" Then he storms out. I guess Pester is going to need a new tactic. Maybe the "stay away from Harvey" tactic.

Hey, I just realized. Tic-tac is an inversion of tactic. Coincidence? Probably.

Sanctum. Teachie is saying, "Look, I would never help one of my students cheat." Nonsensically, Steven replies: "No one is saying that, Danny," to which Teachie rightly counters that that is, in fact, why he's here. Scott asks him point-blank if he told Talk Time not to worry about Faulkner on the final and, though Teachie equivocates, it's clear that he did. "Have you ever done this before, told her what not to study?" "No." "Are you sure?" "Yes." Steven says he'll talk to Debbie, but that he believes Danny. Then he tells Scott to talk to Debbie.

"Black?" says Marla, with a healthy portion of incredulity. Harvey has just told her the situation with young Pester Lipschultz, and she asks him if it's indeed possible that this man is his son. "I was in New York in 1942, getting ready to join the ninth infantry division. I was twenty years old at the time. I had relations with this woman I met in the club, and she was black." Marla flips out. She flips out even more when Harvey reveals that he told the guy it wasn't true. "Why?" "Because I'm ashamed of it. I don't believe in premarital relations, and I don't believe in intermarriage either." "You didn't marry her." "You know what I mean." Marla tries to point out to Harvey that this could be a gift: the family he never had. He could have grandchildren. "I don't want any!" "You are a lonely old man. Somebody walks into your life, offers you a family, and you just walk out of the restaurant!" Marla takes this moment to just walk out of the classroom. I bet she wishes someone would walk into her life, and offer her a family.

Teacher's lounge. Slow-lita is interviewing Harry on tape. The first question is: "When you see former students making ten times the money you make, does it fill you with pride or envy?" Harry looks uncomfortable, then says 'pride', then admits that's a lie, then says he doesn't want to answer the question. What's with him? The question is also about low pay for teachers, and Harry interrupts her, asking that they talk about something else. "You seem bitter." "Well, that's where most of us are -- bitter." He wants to talk about anything other that money, and she points out that this is more or less what the project is about. So he goes on a mini-tirade about how disgusting it is that teachers are paid so little, and then reiterates that he'll talk about anything other than money. At this point, Lauren comes in, and Dana says hi to her brightly. "Dana...uh...What brings you here?" "I'm doing a project with Mr. Senate." "Great." "Great." Great. But if Harry didn't want other teachers, let alone Lauren, to see him with Dana, perhaps he should have picked a locale other than, oh, the teacher's lounge.

Vice-office. Scott is grilling an indignant Talk Time about the possibility of her occasionally getting some extra help from Dick Teachie. She denies it forcefully, and adds, "Why don't you talk to the kids getting tutored by Ms. Davis, or Mr. Walcott, or Ms. Stevens?" Scott asks why, though it'll be hard for him to find those last two, since they don't exist. "Because they're always giving away the test question in their special help classes. It goes on all the time. Not blatantly. No one's really being dishonest. But there are some teachers...you get tutored by them, you get some idea of what's gonna be on the test." Scott is shocked by the revelation that grading at his school is not totally and completely fair all the time.

Harvey sits at his desk, grading papers. Pester appears in the doorway. Wow, I guess he's sticking with Plan A. Harvey says he has nothing to say to him, which is a bit of an internal contradiction. Pester says, "You want to pretend like I don't exist? I exist." Harvey says, "If you're trying to make me feel guilty, I never knew you existed." That's how he says it, with the emphasis on "you" instead of on "knew" which would make a lot more sense. Harvey wonders what it is exactly that Pester wants: to make up for lost time? To be bounced on Harvey's knee? "It only takes once to get a girl pregnant. Wear a condom. There. My fatherly advice." Pester seizes on this as a tacit admission that Harvey is, in fact, his father, and Harvey cops to it: "I admit I've been with your mother. That maybe makes you my off-spring. But not my son. If you're here for money, like I said, I haven't got any. If you're here to connect with me, I'm too old, my connections are shot." Pester says that, in fact, he's here just to look at Harvey, because when he was a kid, all the other kids had dad's to remark that each other's sons ran like their fathers, or had their eyes. "I never ran like anybody. I never threw like anybody. There was no grown-up match for me. Just once, I wanted to look in somebody's face, and see where I came from." Pester gives Harvey a picture of his mother. "She said you were a sensitive and passionate man." "She told me I was handsome. Are we going to believe her?" Heh. Pester said that his mother told him that Harvey cried, because he was afraid to go to war. Harvey says that he cried because he was ashamed of having sinned, and that Pester is living proof of his sin: "Do not expect me to be joyous!" Pester thanks him for allowing him to get a good look, and goes. Harvey sits at his desk, and looks at the picture of Pester's mother.