Key Grip gave this episode a grade of
B
80 users have given this episode an average grade of
B
Previously on Boston Public: The Hook Lady and Marla threatened one another; Marla complained to Scott and Steven; Scott bought The Hook Lady a fake hand; The Fake Hand Lady sabotaged her son's relationship with Brooke, and Scott called her on it; Lauren was accused by Steven of being biased against her black students; Lauren complained to Harry, who told her not to get angry.
Harvey's room. He is talking to Spike's vampire ex-girlfriend Harmony, telling her that her homework is great. But it turns out to be a big fake-out, because really he's "acting." Harmony, you see, is in the middle of a photo shoot, and Harvey is pretending to be a teacher, talking to her. The photographer instructs Harvey not to talk. "I thought perhaps my dialogue might help create a mood." The photographer tells Harmony not to be so smiley. Outside the door, The Exposition Fairy -- looking cute as a button, if I may say -- explains that situation to Ronnie. Apparently, Harmony won some magazine contest. What magazine? "I think she said it was Seventeen, or something." It turns out she's close, but not quite right.
In an alcove under the stairwell, a student leads Marla to some girl, who is curled up on the floor, shaking and crying and freaking out. Marla asks the girl what's wrong, and but she can only flail her arms, and say, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I know the feeling.
Aww, yeah. Boston Harbor is the phattest harbor in the hiz-ouse.
Delineation Alley. Marla walks with the all-too-familiar gurney as Anxiety Girl is led away, and Scott and Steven discuss her. "Drugs?" "Sylvie Platt? High honors. I'd be terribly surprised if drugs were involved." Yes, it must be all that time she's spending with her head in the oven, and shepherding the career of her fellow-poet husband, instead of concentrating on her OWN WORK FOR ONCE GODDAMMIT! Aaaanyway, Dick Teachie approaches and asks what happened, but then some girl comes up. Before Teachie can introduce a plotline for himself, the girl snarks that The Hook Lady hit her. Scott offers to interview her about it, and both Steven and Dick Teachie raise eyebrows at the conflict of interest this presents, but Scott insists that he can handle it. "That woman is crazy," says the girl. Scott takes her away, with her glittery-grunge duds flashing down the hall. Who is she, Sporty Spice? Then the scene ends without Dick Teachie doing anything. Why was he there?
Girls' Locker Room. And, just when I've abandon all hope of there being anything sexy going on in here, Harmony is in short-shorts and a wet t-shirt, getting photographed. But just as Hefner Guccione is asking her to take some of her clothes off, Ronnie appears and ruins all the fun. "Ms. Cooke? It's okay, we're just doing the shoot." But Ronnie's not having it, and confronts Larry Flynt. "Who, and exactly what, are you?"
“ Marla asks her what tests are coming up. Then the scene ends. I like this new trend, where information is withheld tantalizingly, instead of repeated over and over again in every single scene. ”
The Hospital. Where we spend altogether too much time on this show. Marla and Anxiety Girl's parents are listening to a doctor explain that the girl had an anxiety attack. Apparently, these are frequently the result of pressure from school, though Marla seems to think that anthrax-tainted shellfish may be the culprit. No, really -- she gives a whole speech about anthrax-tainted shellfish, and everybody looks at her like she's crazy. Then the doctor brings the girl's parents in to see the girl, leaving Marla outside.
Vice-Office. Sporty Spice is explaining to Scott what happened with The Hook Lady. Apparently, she accused this girl of plagiarizing a paper, so they got into a fight, which quickly escalated. "I told her she's got problems. She didn't like that. I said how she's psycho, you know. How everyone knows she locked her son up in the basement. She didn't like that. Then I kind of accused her of sleeping with the Vice-Principal to get a job. She didn't like that. I'm sorry I said all that stuff, but she got me really mad, calling me a plagiarist!" Scott speaks with the measured, chilling, calm tone he likes to use when he is on the verge of madness, and asks her to get to the part where she was allegedly hit. "There was nothing allegedly about it!" Once the fight escalated to a certain point, The Hook Lady (allegedly) hauled off and smacked Sporty Spice across the noggin.
In a hospital room, Marla is talking to Anxiety Girl, somehow having got in to see her despite the speech aboutsighanthrax-tainted shellfish. She asks if there's "stuff going on" that might have led to this panic attack. The girl's all, "Well, I don't know, tests coming up, college acceptance letters are coming out. Maybe I'm nervous." Marla asks her what tests are coming up. Then the scene ends. I like this new trend, where information is withheld tantalizingly, instead of repeated over and over again in every single scene.
Sanctum Stevenorium. Ronnie is showing Steven a copy of the magazine Harmony is posing for. It's called Just Eighteen and is, apparently, explicit enough to "make a gynecologist blush." Steven declines to look at itat least while Ronnie is in the room. The Exposition Fairy is here, not to be helpful, but to remind Steven that he's the one who gave them permission to shoot on the premises, though one assumes that, since he is only now becoming aware of the kind of magazine this is, he didn't have the pertinent information at the time. Marla pokes her head in, and Ronnie is dismissed. Marla tells Steven that Sylvie Platt is going to be okay, but that "one of her teachers is Lauren Davis. I think she pushes her kids way too hard." Steven is incredulous, but Marla stands her ground, saying that she looked into it, and a high percentage of the stress cases at Winslow are Lauren's kids. But, um, don't people ordinarily have certain teachers for, say, one semester at a time? What does that mean, "Lauren's kids"? If someone doesn't like her class, wouldn't they just not take one from her again? Whatever. "She's demanding. She has this quiet, punishing way. You know it. Last year, you accused her of riding the black kids too hard. Truth is, she's riding all of 'em, and some of 'em can't take it." Steven looks thoughtful.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
“ Dick Teachie asks out Marilyn. She's all, 'Huh?' Maybe because he's asking her out in. The. HALLWAY. While students stream past. That's appropriate. ”
The stairwell. Dick Teachie asks out Marilyn. She's all, "Huh?" Maybe because he's asking her out in. The. HALLWAY. While students stream past. That's appropriate. Marilyn says she's not comfortable dating other teachers, and that, furthermore, she's not into "sport dating" at all. What is sport dating? Does she mean "casual" dating? I have never in my life heard the phrase "sport dating" before. Anyway, she tells Dick Teachie that he's just on the rebound, and not ready for a real relationship. She walks away. Marla comes by, and Teachie asks her if she'll have a "rebound thing" with him. "It doesn't have to last very long. Just long enough to say I had it." She's all, "I'll swat you like a bug." We follow Marla down the hall, where Lauren chases her down to ask about Sylvie. "You have her, don't you?" asks Marla. "Yeah, she's a great student. She's one of my best." "Mm-hm." Marla walks away. Lauren is confused for a beat, and then heads into her classroom.
The Hook Lady's room. Scott is there to check out Sporty Spice's story, and asks to look at the two essays in question. Hook Lady's all defensive, and suggests that because she's seen as a psycho, there's all of these doubts associated with her story. Scott explains that he'd have to investigate this with any teacher, and "it has nothing to do with you being a psy --" He stops himself. Meredith looks at him. Heh.
Ronnie and Steven are chatting with Harmon-ita in the office. "You told us you won a contest!" She says that she did win a contest. "I sent in some Polaroids of myself, and they picked me to do a layout." Yes, the tenth annual "We Want to Take Nudie Pictures Of You" Contest. Actually, Sars won that two years ago, but was stripped of her title. It was this whole big thing. ["How many times do I have to tell you -- I was a victim of circumstance!" -- Sars] Anyway, Steven is mad because Harmon-ita wore Winslow clothing, and posed with teachers, making the school the recognizable backdrop for smut, which makes it more than just her business, as she claims. She has no real comeback for this logic, so she says, "If it's going to be a problem, I'll just ask them not to use that stuff." Steven's all, "And you think that makes everything okay? Go home. You're suspended. And tell your parents I want to speak to them. That's all." Harmon-ita goes. Ronnie sighs.
Steven goes to see Big Boy. Big Boy is doing something with something on his desk, and when Steven comes in, he finishes doing the something with the something so he can talk to him. "Student stress. Big problem?" I like that the issue of the week this week is so vague. Student stress? Why not just do an episode about, like, sadness, or anger? ("Steven. The students are really angry." "Well, anger is a big problem in schools.") Anyway, Big Boy says that, yeah, "student stress" is a bigger problem than ever, and Steven acts like this is big news to him. And it's on the rise, because of brand-new factors like students trying to get into college, and teachers wanting students to do well. Steven wants to know if any teachers in particular are culprits in making students more stressed out, and Big Boy says he's got his eye on two: Lauren Davis and Marilyn Sudor.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
“ Harry appears to tell Teachie that 'no one's ever got Marilyn.' Yeah, I guess Coach Kevin tried, briefly, before his departure from the show. I miss Milton Buttle. ”
Vice-Office. Scott is telling Sporty Spice that he's not sure he believes her story about not plagiarizing. We know he's telling her this because she says, "You don't believe me!?" She appeals to his appreciation for convoluted logic: "If I get caught plagiarizing, I could get kicked out. So why would I make a big deal out of this, if I could avoid it." Well, that kind of makes sense, except that she was already being accused of plagiarizing before she got hit, and one might interpret the hitting accusation as a way to discredit the teacher accusing her of plagiarism. But let's not split hairs; Scott seems a bit persuaded. "I came forward 'cause I'm innocent. That woman went off on my head. It isn't right." Scott points out that the two essays in question are almost identical in some sections, and Sporty Spice suggests that he take that up with the other student, despite her superior academic track record.
In The Special Meeting Room, Steven is incredulously asking Harmon-ita's parents, "You support this?" They've raised her, apparently, to feel that her body is nothing to be ashamed of. They admit that they're not thrilled about it, but their daughter is eighteen, and they've always encouraged her to go for her dreams, and so forth. They also don't see "what right you have to suspend her." Steven explains that it's not appropriate for her to pose for nude photos on school grounds. Dad brings up the Nude Olympics. "We don't endorse that." "Do you suspend the students who participate?" "No." D'oh! Anyway, the Harmon-itas instruct Steven to lift the suspension, or they'll sue, and then they leave. Luckily, Ronnie is on hand to explain the legalities of the situation. "Legally, they're right. She's eighteen. She had a signed release. And who knows what 'explicit' really means." Umthe Supreme Court? Anyway, the suspension is lifted.
The Hallway. Dick Teachie is still working on Marilyn, who is explaining that at the end of the day, she's so tired that she's in no shape to go party, especially not with some other teacher, who is no doubt also tired and beat up and so forth. Then she says, "Can I be honest?" "Yeah, I'd prefer that." "I kinda have a knack for reading guys. Not all of them, but I can read you. You're horny." "Yeah." "If sex were off the table, you wouldn't be remotely interested." Teachie denies this, and says he's mostly drawn to her mind. "Well, your eyes go up and down my body. You checking out my mind?" "Yeah, the, uh, mind-body connection." "It isn't gonna happen." She walks away. Harry appears to tell Teachie that "no one's ever got Marilyn." Yeah, I guess Coach Kevin tried, briefly, before his departure from the show. I miss Milton Buttle.
We follow Harry into the office, where Scott flags him down and asks him to be an impartial interviewer, and talk to Sporty Spice, to get a reading on her reliability. Harry is reluctant. "I need your help on this, Harry. Please."
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Sanctum Stevenorium. Lauren and Marilyn are waiting for Steven. They ask The Exposition Fairy what's going on, and she says she doesn't know. "Oh, come on, you know everything." That's because she's The Exposition Fairy, yo! She says, "All I know is that Marla" But Steven walks in and shuts her up. "is a great woman," she finishes. Steven closes the door behind her and sits at his desk. "Well. Sylvie Platt. As you may of heard, she had an anxiety attack. She's gonna be okay, butit brings up the issue of student stress." Okay, seriously: how so? It's a pretty tenuous connection on which to go summoning your teachers for tongue-lashings. But Steven keeps talking anyway: "Which is becoming almost epidemic. Kids are having stomach problems, sleeping disorders, even ulcers. As faculty, it's something we have to be concerned about. Now, after asking around, I've come to the conclusion that you two are the worst offenders." "Buh? Guh? Huh?" They are not pleased to hear this. They have a little semantic debate about whether or not this is a reprimand (clearly, it is, Steven -- you're wrong), and then he tells them that he just wants them to be "mindful." Lauren, ever the prim persecutee, asks if there've been specific complaints about them, and Steven lies and says not really. He pins the fact that he singled them out on statistical analysis of the nurse's office records, and the students who go to Big Boy for anxiety counseling. "Look, I just want you to think aboutright now I can see both of you are offended. Why don't we think about this and reconvene. Can we do that?" Marilyn and Lauren both say great, and leave, but neither of them seem to really think it's so great.
Near the entrance of the school, Scott is being confronted by Mr. Spice, father of Sporty Spice. "She says she was hit, and I believe her." Scott assures the man that they're looking into it. "She tells me she doesn't think you really are. Now, do you have some kind of a relationship with this teacher, Mr. Guber?" Scott keeps assuring the guy that he's handling it, and that "the more quickly this conversation ends, the sooner I can get back to my investigation." On his way back into the office, Scott passes Steven, who asks if he needs help handling this situation. "I'm on it, Steven." "I just don't want --" "I said I'm ON IT." He doesn't sound on it, though.