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Previously on Boston Public: Harry made students box each other; Scott disapproved of his methods; Ronnie listed everything Harry has ever done and asked if he sensed a pattern, and he said he doesn't go by patterns, it's case-by-case; Steven and Brooke talked about the questionable wisdom of her attending Winslow, and he asserted that it would help him really be a father.
Nighttime in Delineation Alley. A lone janitor polishes the floor. Dick Teachie strides along on his way out, and runs into Ronnie, who is there late because she's got her teacher certification test coming up. Because that's probably important at this school. Teachie's there late because he's preparing a ceremony for the cerebral palsy kids. They head out into the parking lot, and spot a parked car with music blaring and fogged windows that is more or less bouncing up and down. Teachie's says that this can only mean "someone is studying for a test." Ha ha. Not. He heads over to the car to open the door, and Ronnie makes the salient point that this is a strange -- nay, crazy -- thing to do. But she doesn't try too hard to stop him, so I guess she's curious too. They open the door, and inside is The Harper Image, making out with some guy. She screams at them, slams the door, and the car speeds away. "That was Brooke. Brooke Harper. That might have been a serious oops on my part." Yeah, because just throwing open the door of a random car to get a look at student making out is not a serious oops on its own. But, man, if it's the principal's daughter: Oopsathon 2002.
The second unit director lets us know that it's still winter in Boston, and that students are walking between classes.
Dick Teachie's room. As he prepares the blackboard for another scintillating lesson, Brooke enters. She tells him she could get him fired for breaking into cars. I'm glad somebody said it, though he didn't really break in. It wasn't locked, and people were inside, but still: big oops. Teachie counters that he's got some info of his own that could make Steven "hit the ceiling." He threatens to "reveal to a man with whom I have a friendship that I caught his daughter in what some might call a 'compromising' position." He makes the quote marks around "compromising" with his hands. She reminds him that messengers get shot, and he's all, "You comin' in here with threats, Brooke?" 'Cause he's the only one who gets to threaten people in this classroom. Anyway, blah blah, she calms down and asks if he'll tell, and he says probably not, so she goes away.
In the hallway, Jamaal and the two dungeon kids from the boxing match are stuffing two nerdy kids into garbage cans. Then they knock on their foreheads and say, "Hello! Hello, McFly!" No, but, you know, it appears to be standard bullying. Harry's Senate-Sense starts tingling, and he darts down the stairs to interrupt the melee. He sends the nerdy kids packing, and takes the three bullies down to the dungeon with him.
“ Jamaal says they get stuff like that all the time, because the kids in the Dungeon are thought of as stupid. Umdidn't he get early admission into Williams? I mean, it was revoked because he bought an essay, but stillhow much better at school could those other guys really be? ”
The Dungeon. Harry paces up and down in front of his men, like Captain Kirk in "Trouble With Tribbles" when he's trying to figure out who started the fight with the Klingons, and it was Scottie. Even though Scottie was in charge of preventing a fight! And that's not the funniest part! It turns out that he didn't throw a punch when the Klingons insulted Kirk, but ONLY WHEN THEY INSULTED THE ENTERPRISE ITLSEF!! EH!!! So, anyway, it's like that. He's giving them a speech, blah blah blah, "just pick on a coupla small fries, right?You know what I think of bullies?" And so on. Jamaal asks if Harry wants to know what actually happened, and Harry says he saw what happened, but the three amigos beg to differ. One says, "We was just hangin' on the stairs, trying to do your homework." Another chimes in, "Yeah, and they come up talking about how we're using junior high math books, and asking if we need help with the words in our Dick and Jane reading books." Jamaal says they get stuff like that all the time, because the kids in the Dungeon are thought of as stupid. Umdidn't he get early admission into Williams? I mean, it was revoked because he bought an essay, but stillhow much better at school could those other guys really be? In any case, yeah, they felt the appropriate response was, "We figured, if they were gonna talk trash, we would treat 'em like trash." Harry looks thoughtful, weighing this response.
Teacher's lounge. Teachie is drinking his coffee calmly, and Ronnie plops down to him. "I ran the plates." Huh? Apparently, because the kid smooching Brooke didn't look like a high school student, she ran the plates on his car, which turned out to be registered to a 27-year-old insurance salesman. Also, she now wins the Inappropriate Invasion Of Privacy contest. They decide they need to tell Steven.
Dungeon. Scott comes charging in to confront Harry about why members of his debate team reek of garbage. For some reason, they told him that Harry witnessed the attack and did nothing. Buh? Didn't he yell, "Hey, what's going on here, stop that!"? I mean, that's what I saw. Anyway, Harry explains that Scott only has some of the story right -- that it was, in fact, his students who were bullied and mugged, "being called dumb, stupid, illiterate. Just because they're in the Dungeon, everyone assumes they're idiots!" Scott snarks, "Many of them are idiots, which is why they're in the Dungeon." Harry dumps Scott into a nearby garbage can. No, but he points at that it's that kind of talk that probably led to the scuffle. Then he says something I've been waiting for someone to point out for a year and a half. Harry says that the school contributes to their feelings of worthlessness "by isolating them from the rest of the students. It's hard enough to make them feel good about themselves when they're banished to a place known as 'the Dungeon.' They don't need [those] egghead snobs telling them they're stupid." Scott points out that Harry leads by example, and because he's such a hothead, perhaps that's why his students resort to violence, "instead of resorting to other methods of conflict resolution such as whole sentences. As difficult as it may be for them to construct them." Harry goes past mad all the way to calm, and nearly whispers, "My students can construct whole sentences, Scott." "Yes. See Dick and Jane dump Tom in the trash can." Ah, well done. Now we see that the source of the bigotry is an authority figure. Who's leading by example now, eh Scott? Anyway, they bark at each other a bit more, and Scott leaves with nothing resolved.
Chapter Thirty-Three
All of this raises a question for me. How exactly do you get out of the Dungeon? I mean, if you start to do better, do you get transferred into normal classes? If so, what is Jamaal still doing there? I mean, he did well enough in school to get into Williams, but not well enough to be in normal classes? Zuh guh huh? How well are all the other students doing? I mean, as the t-shirt says, Sars: "Princeton. Because not everyone can go to Yale." ["Huh. My t-shirt says, 'Key Grip is fired.' Weird." -- Sars]
Sanctum Stevenorium. "Calm down." But Harry won't calm down, as he yells about how much he hates Scott Guber. "He put me in the Dungeon! It was his idea!" Steven points out that no scenario calls for his students to put other students in the trash, and Harry says the real problem is that Scott won't let him deal with it. "He doesn't trust me, he never has, and I've had it!" Steven explains that they have to live with each other, different styles and all, and then he wants to know what exactly Harry is asking for. "The right to tell Scott Guber to go to hell." Steven's like, no way; he's administration, "and the first rule of teaching is, you deal with administration." I would think the first rule of teaching would be something about the good of the students, kind of like a Socratic Oath or something, but I guess not. Harry says, "That's a lousy answer." And takes off. The Exposition Fairy pokes her head in and says, "Not my business. But you need to support your teachers more." Muh wuh luh? Steven essentially tells her to go away. She sighs, and leaves. This is a very weird moment, and it leads to nothing at all later in the episode. Which means it's here only so that it can show up in a future "previously" segment to explain an upcoming plot in which, out of the blue, all the teachers turn on Steven. Anyway, there's time for one more surprise, so Dick Teachie and Ronnie come in, bearing news. Teachie pulls the old "umthe thing isRonnie has something to tell you." Steven looks at Ronnie. Ronnie's mouth works, silently. The Drums Of Daughterly Promiscuity begin to beat, somewhere.
Later, Dick Teachie and Ronnie are done telling Steven what happened. "Were they having sex?" Ronnie assures him that no, it was just fondling. "And this man is twenty-seven?" Presumably, they just told him that, but they reiterate it for our benefit, or, rather, for no one's benefit, since we already knew. Steven thanks the snitches and sends them away. Then he calls in The Exposition Fairy and asks her to pull Brooke out of class. Umso you can yell at her about who she's dating? Is that not an inappropriate abuse of principal powers for parenting purposes? I mean, I can't be that alliterative without being right.
Chapter Thirty-Three
“ Brooke opens the door to leave. Ronnie falls into the room. It's the old 'I was listening at the door, so I fall into the room when the door opens' gag. Still not funny. ”
Stairwell. Harry catches up with Scott, who remains snide. Harry pretends to be concerned about the debate team's upcoming match, but Scott's not having it. So Harry pulls out the big gun: "Fine. My Dungeon Dumbbells would like to challenge your team." This brings Scott up short, but he soon regains his composure and points out that his team doesn't have time to waste on "silly scrimmages with unschooled, unprepared" Harry's all, "Whassa matter, Scott? CHICKEN?" I mean, he doesn't put it in those words, but says something about "humiliation" and whatnot. And I guess it works, because
"And he accepted?" The preceding incredulous question is brought to you by Lauren Davis, in the teacher's lounge, where Harry has apparently just finishing relating the story of how he childishly baited the vice-principal. "He did." Dick Teachie says, "What are you, crazy? You can't beat those kids. They're really good." Harry begs to differ. Marilyn chimes in that he could wind up embarrassing his students. Harry's all, "My students are just as smart as your students, or his students, or anybody else's." Why ARE they in the Dungeon, by the way? I'm confused. Is it just behavior problems? Anyway, Marilyn goes on to say that the issue is not intelligence, but rather training. "It's just arguing with rules," is Harry's reductivist response. Reductivist, sure, but not incorrect. Lauren gives Harry a look. "What are you lookin' at?" "Nothing."
Sanctum. Brooke is throwing a hissyfit, and, for once, she's justified, since Steven really should have waited until after school to lay into her about this. "I asked you a question, young lady." "As what: my father, or principal?" Good point. "Both! You had him here on school grounds!" Touch. She tries to walk out, and he won't let her. "Who is this man?" "A friend." "A friend you let take your clothes off?" He says yet again that he's her father, and she says, "Not now you're not." At first, I thought this was another good point about how he's mixing his roles, but then she says, "Fee fie foe fum. You're a big bald loony giant, that's what you are." Zuh luh muh? Anyway, they yell more: Blah! Blah! Blah! He's mad 'cause she's dating someone ten years older than her. She's mad becauseshe's a snotty little brat. He wants to talk to the guy directly; she is reluctant, so he's all, "I'll call the police and having him picked up!" When she points out that he didn't commit a crime of any kind, he says, "And I'll call his employer! Don't think I won't!" She asks why he's doing this (which we established already: father.) and he says, "Because. I'm a big bald loony giant. Who also happens to be your father. And I want to meet this twenty-seven-year-old man you're carryin' on with." This is not new information of any kind, since it's basically exactly what he said at the top of the scene, but this time Brooke opens the door to leave. Ronnie falls into the room. It's the old "I was listening at the door, so I fall into the room when the door opens" gag. Still not funny. Brooke leaves. Ronnie comes in and says, "Sorry. I couldn't help but listen, hoping that you wouldn't totally blow it. Which, from what I heard you did." Umdidn't you, like, just. Start. Working here? Where do you get off talking to the principal about his relationship with his daughter this way? Nevertheless, Ronnie goes on to give him a bunch of banal parenting advice (this from someone with no kids, and a boyfriend she's not even really dating) like, "Let her be heard" and "Talk to her, not at her." Who are you? Why isn't Steven throwing you out? Why aren't you being fired for listening in on a private conversation? I mean, that's weird weird behavior, is it not? Oh, wait, Steven does throw her out. Well, that's something.
Dick Teachie's room. Brooke stalks in. "You told. You said you would keep my confidence. You lied. You told." Teachie counters, "First of all, you didn't take me in your confidence. I caught you in a car. Second of all, I said I probably wouldn't tell, but at the time I had no idea that your date was a contemporary. Of mine." Brooke complains that now her dad wants to meet the guy, and so Teachie delves to find out if Brooke really likes this guy, or is just doing something outrageous for the express purpose of getting in trouble. Teachie asks, "You care about him?" "Yeah." "Great. Then you should want him to meet your dad."
Dungeon. Harry has evidently just explained his brilliant plan, because one of his charges is asking skeptically, "How can we beat them?" Harry says a list of random names, as though that's somehow an answer. I guess those are the people who will be the "team," because then he says, "The rest of you will do research." He gives everyone index cards, and says, "One fact per card." I see. "The issue is privacy. Whether it should be compromised for public safety." One of the students says, "Where do these so-called facts come from?" What does he mean "so-called"? Is he taking issue with the veracity of facts they haven't collected yet? Is he not sure that there's such a thing as 'facts'? Is he like that guy in The Skulls who refers to a python as a "so-called python" for no apparent reason? We may never know. Harry tells them that if they want respect, they have to earn it, but his students point out that nobody tried this in To Sir, With Love or Dangerous Minds. That's not me making a joke; that's really what they say. Which I guess is kind of funny. Jamaal tells Harry he's having delusions of grandeur. Man, they learn the darnedest words in their Dick and Jane reading books. Then he asks for a show of hands from people who think they can do this. No one raises their hands.