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Previously on Boston Public: Dr. Benji shocked Anthony Heald with a rehearsal for his lesbian-kiss-fest production of It's Our Town Too; Anthony Heald told Steven the production would make them lose their funding, and then he saw Jeremy Peters kissing some guy backstage.
Late at night. Steven is in his office when some guy comes in. I bet he's a lawyer, because this is a show about high school. Sure enough, he's the lawyer for a guy name Wesley Poe, a former Winslow High student now on death row for aggravated rape and murder. The attorney has been handling the appeal: "Unsuccessfully, I might add." What does he mean, "I might add"? Isn't that what you say when you add something that you're proud of? How about, "Unsuccessfully, I'm sad to say"? Whatever. Steven doesn't remember the kid, and wants to know what all of this has to do with him. Apparently, the kid wants Steven there when he is executed, this Thursday. The Low Keyboard Notes Of Unwanted Responsibility take us to
Chez Hook. Scott and The Fancy New Hand Lady enter, laughing, after another fun-filled night on the town. Apparently, they're laughing about how cold it is outside. "I can barely feel my fingers, ha ha ha!" "The wind chill alone, hee hee hee heeee!" They walk into the kitchen to find Jeremy and the guy he was kissing before, both covered in sweat. The New Hand Lady observes that her son is sweating, and he's all, "Brandon was showing me some karate moves." She goes to get him a cold compress, leaving Scott to banter awkwardly with the two virile young boys. Brandon leaves. Meredith returns, irate, because she has spotted a used condom floating in the toilet. Jeremy, however, has an explanation for everything: "Brandon brought his girlfriend over. I just let them use the house, because his parents were home." The New Hand Lady is all, "You're also grounded!" Also? Then she says, "Get in the basem -- up to your room!" He goes. She asks Scott to leave. He tries to tell her something, but she says they'll speak tomorrow.
Teacher's lounge. Steven is talking to Harry "Coach" Senate The Plot Parasite, who asks, with what can only be called incredulity, "And you really don't remember him?" Steven says no, he doesn't; he must have had him in a class or something, but the records that far back are all in storage. Harry, because he is an expert on all criminal law, being a teacher, says that he didn't think you could get the death penalty for just one murder, and that the special circumstances were either that he killed a police officer, or tortured his victim. Since his victim was a fifteen-year-old girl, and not a police officerwell, you do the math. And then, when you're done doing math, conclude that Wesley Poe tortured some girl. Determined to milk more screen time from someone else's plot, as per his new purpose, Harry asks what Steven is going to do. "Well, he doesn't have any parents" Guh? Ah yes, one of those new, spontaneously generated kids they're making nowadays. "so first I'm just gonna go see him." "In Delaware?" "Yeah." Harvey comes in, commenting on the cold, but not finding it as hilarious as Scott and Meredith did earlier. "I can't teach when can see my own breath." "Why," says Steven, "does it look the way it smells?" Buh zuh huh? Why does everyone hate Harvey? Why is everybody mean to him, again? I don't understand this anymore. It's like they've given up on motivating the cruelty towards him with his actions, like being racist or incompetent, and now everybody just insults him for no reason. Great.
“ And actually, Zack clearly has ADHD, because he's totally hyperactive as well, but who cares -- this isn't a hospital show, after all. It's a show about a law firm. Or a school, I forget which. ”
The un-geon. Ronnie is trying to teach something about literature: "So if Charles Dickens is the chronicler of the 1800s, who do you think could be ours today?" Somebody says Stephen King, which is a really weird answer. I mean, his focus isn't really the trials and tribulations of contemporary mores, is it? What about Richard Ford? But I guess that's the point, because you don't get good answers in the un-geon. Some kid who is obsessively sharpening pencils in the corner is all, "Oh yeah did you read Pet Sematary totally awesome yeah cool yeah" Ronnie tells the kid, whose name is Zack, to stop sharpening pencils. Zack. Zack. He's a pencil sharpening maniac. Ronnie keeps Zack busy passing out assignments, and then points out that King "relies on horror for his story motives," which is a meaningless sentence. Zack interrupts her again, and she tries to take back the assignments, but he clambers all over the desks passing out assignments wildly.
Delineation Alley. Ronnie walks with Dick "Coach" Teachie The Plot Parasite, asking him incredulously, "Was he like that in your class?" "Yeah, that's why they moved him out. His stop? The dungeon." Yep. It's like the un-geon, only a little worse. Teachie says that Zack has ADD, and Ronnie says, "Attention deficit?" for those of us who weren't paying attention. And actually, Zack clearly has ADHD, because he's totally hyperactive as well, but who cares -- this isn't a hospital show, after all. It's a show about a law firm. Or a school, I forget which. Anyway, last year Zack was on Ritalin and did really well, but his parents won't let him stay on the medication for some reason. By now, Ronnie and Teachie have reachie-d the Teachie Lounge, where Harvey remains, apparently having been motionless since Steven and Harry were in here. He says, "You know, someone once accused me of having Gay-T-and-T." Heh. Danny makes a lame joke about Sprint, and Harvey says he doesn't get it, and neither do I.
"Delaware?" says Scott, incredulously. He's in the office with The Exposition Fairy, and she says, yeah, Steven took off. "He's going to a prison?" Scott says, with some incredulity. She says yeah. Which means, by the way, that before we came in, she said, "Steven went to visit a prison in Delaware." And then Scott's two question were "Delaware?" and "He's going to a prison?" Not "Why?" Just pointing that out. The Exposition Fairy tells Scott that this means he's acting principal for the six hours. He straightens up with quiet pride. She mocks him. Blech. The Shoe Lady comes in. "No doubt you have something for me to smell," says Scott. "I don't think it's written in your little vice-principal handbook: 'Ridicule the parents.' Is it written in your vice-principal handbook: 'Ridicule the parents'?" Scott says, no, it's not. "SMELL THAT SOCK! That is the sock of homosexuality. I don't think this school should be putting on plays about homosexuality. SMELL THAT SOCK!" The Exposition Fairy smells the sock and says, "She's right." The Sock Lady says, "Don't think I don't know who you are, Dear Helen. And I tried squeezing my breasts, for your information. I didn't have any orgasm. All I got was a blood blister." Ew. Anyway, she has a petition about stopping the production of the smut-filled pervert play. Just then, Jeremy appears, because Scott has apparently summoned him.
Chapter Thirty
In the Vice-Office, Scott tells Jeremy that he read the play and "it calls for neither you nor Brandon to kiss." That's a weird way of saying it, since he saw them kissing each other. Jeremy explains that actors rehearse scenes whether they're in them or not. Maybe that's why Ronnie's break-up scene with Billy Zane was identical to Lauren's with Harry. Anyhow, Scott's all, "I'm a huge proponent of privacy. Secrecy, however, can be very destructive." He encourages Jeremy to be honest with his mother, and says that he'll be an ally against her intolerance. Jeremy doesn't really seem to want to hear it, and books it out of there. To go rehearse scenes from a gay porn film that he's not in.
The dungeon. No, but, see, this time it's a real dungeon. Steven is visiting the death row of a prison in Delaware. Scary people glare at him as he walks by. He finds his way to Wesley's cell, and gets buzzed in. Wesley is a friendly-looking guy, with a big smile, who thanks him for coming. "I never doubted that you would." Steven admits that he doesn't remember Wesley. Wesley explains that it was eleven years ago, back when Steven was teaching in the dungeon. "Y'all still got the dungeon at Winslow?" One dungeon to another for this guy, eh? How poetic and sad. Anyway, Wesley says Steven was on his ass a lot back then, and he's surprised he doesn't remember, and Steven's all, "Over the years, I've been on a multitude of asses." Oh, man, do I ever know what that's like. Wesley begins to reminisce about one Thanksgiving when a bunch of the students had nowhere to go, so Steven brought them to his house. This seems to ring a bell for Steven, and Wesley goes on, "You bring in this little girl. Yeah, Brooke. And when you put her with me, you asked me to watch her. It meant something. Because, on Monticello Avenue, nobody, but nobody, woulda entrusted me withyou knowso I read her the story, and you had this look on your face, man, like you was proud of me. Always looked up to you. Even wanted to be you. Just, uh, didn't get there." Steven asks why the kid wants him there when he dies. Wesley explains that he doesn't have family, that he doesn't believe in God, but the warden thought he should have somebody. "You was the only one I could think of. Who would mean something."
Teacher's lounge. Ronnie and Dick Teachie are appealing to Lauren for more information about Zack, thereby making her Lauren The Plot Parasite Plot Parasite, stealing screen time by talking to Dick Teachie while he steals screen time from Ronnie's story. Lauren explains that Zack's parents don't like him to be on the medication, because off of it he writes music and does impressionist art. Ronnie says she's meeting with the parents at three.