Props to my new close personal friend Fyvush Finkel, as old and warm and funny-looking in real life as he is on the show. How do I know him, you ask? Oh, how I know him. Let me count the ways. You havent been reading the forums. Anyhow, on to "Chapter Twenty-One," the penultimate episode of the season.
Previously on Boston Public: Lauren slept with a former student; she was turned on by being called Ms. Davisumduring; Marla told Lauren that she was wack for getting off on that; Marilyn told Steven to ask Mrs. Peters why she keeps her son locked in the basement; Mrs. Peters told Marilyn to leave her alone; Jeremy sat in the basement looking super-crazy.
Boston by night, to phat urban beats. Lauren Still Whorin Davis is critiquing the history textbook that her boy-toy Cocker Daniel Evans is writing. See, because hes devoted to Whorin like a puppy. Anyway, we remember that hes making up, like, some magical new way of teaching history. Good for him. Except it sounds pretty stupid, because Whorin is saying, You cant leave out events you deem unimportant! Daniel tries to defend his stupid book on the grounds that its progressive, but Whorin reminds him how hard it is to sell a new textbook, and gets all stern, so he says, I love it when you lecture me. Um. Ew. Then they smooch. Whorin asks for coffee, and Cocker Daniel says, My book shouldnt need coffee. Okay, I think Whorin wanted the coffee for herself, not for the book. What you mean is, Reading my book shouldnt require coffee, but who cares, youre only trying to be a PROFESSIONAL TEXTBOOK WRITER. Then he says, It should be stimulating. And so should I be. You be have the goodest grammar of all, Daniel. Cocker goes to fetch the coffee, and Whorin takes a moment to snoop around among his personal belongings. What she finds is a photo album, which seems to contain nothing but photos of her: Whorin drinking coffee; Whorin holding coffee; Whorin outside a caf; Whorin' with Harry in and around various cafs, Whorin in a baseball cap, on a bench, drinking coffee. Starbucks official sponsor: Whorin Davis. Anyway, its very creepy. So when Cocker Daniel returns with coffee, even though the photos seem to indicate that Whorin already drinks nine gallons every day, she quickly stuffs the album back on the shelf from whence she swiped it. Then she acts all weird and says shes tired and wants to go home to her place and sleep. Wait, this is his place? Isnt he a senior in college? Nice giant apartment that you live in alone, dude. Thats realistic. Anyhow, Whorin escapes from Daniels lair, and he looks, perplexed, at the door as it slams in his face. Cocker Daniel? More like Stalker Daniel.
Credits. Lots of hallways and stairwells, not a lot of teaching, just like the show.
Scott My Wounds Will Never Be Heald Guber is being interviewed for the headmaster job at Phillips Exeter Academy. A young blonde moppet, whom some of us may know as Evie from Out Of This World, is asking him some final questions in an imposing wood-paneled office with lots of stately class pictures and whatnot on the walls. The question of the moment is: You discover that one of the students here at Exeter Academy is dealing drugs. He happens to be the son of one of the wealthiest families in Boston. As headmaster, how would you handle the situation? With the firm professionalism weve come to expect from Scott, he says, No one is above the law. Then he says, With the exception of the very, very rich. No, wait, he lies. He says, No matter how privileged with wealth or community standing. As a courtesy I wouldnt notify the authorities until first speaking with the parents. We could perhaps spare the boy the shame of being handcuffed at school by picking him up at home. Then, if the family expresses interest, I would fully support their sons continuing education while serving time in either a drug rehabilitation program, or prison. Does Exeter have a DARE program? No. It should." Evie nods, impressed. The she stops time and makes out with Anthony Healds frozen head for a few hours. Then she unfreezes time and continues with the scene, thanking him for meeting with her. He says, I cant tell you how much I appreciate this opportunity, Ms. Carpenter. She chortles, and notes that he used to call her that even when she was his student. I guess she used to be his student. But I cant be sure without confirmation from The Exposition Fairy. Yes, formality is in my character, says Scott. And the Oscar for most egregious understatement goes toanyhow, she tells him that if theyre going to be working together soon, he should call her Holly, and hes all, Okay. But only if you call me Mr. Guber. Evie, I mean Holly, looks perplexed, so he explains, That was a joke. I only make but three a year, so its a pity to see one fall flat. Heh. Well, I guess hes only got one left for 2001. Evie -- dammit, Holly tells him that theres two other candidates for the job, and that before making the final decision, representatives will be sent to the school to interview students and co-workers. Scott says thats not a problem. Hes right. Its not. Except for the small matter of EVERYBODY HATING HIM. But he will survive. Irregardless, right, Sars? Irre-frigging-gardless. Holly tells him this could all happen very fast if hes chosen, and Scott says, Im ready. I wonder if someone else will think hes not ready, later? Well have to wait and see.
The hallway. Whorin is explaining about Cocker Daniels creepy album to Marilyn Some Gang Members Tried To Souter. Marilyn helpfully asks, So what are you gonna do? Whorin says she doesnt know. Maybe go back to being Lauren would be a good first step. Instead, Whorin solution is to talk to Cocker Daniel. Because psychos need to be reasoned with. Meanwhile, Marilyn spots Jeremy Beaters Rhymes With Peters talking and laughing with a group of other students. He looks really relaxed. Actually, he looks stoned, but maybe thats only because weve never seen him at all relaxed, even slightly, before. Props to the actor on this one, because his whole body language is different, so were not surprised when Marilyn is compelled to approach and summon him away from the group. She tells him to come to her class a few minutes early, and then asks him, Hows everything going with your mom? He says, Great. Great. Actually, whatever you said, Im grateful. Marilyn says shes glad, and Jeremy wanders off kind of aimlessly. Just then, Marla comes briskly down the stairwell, pursued by an agitated student who doesnt understand how she could have been given an F. Marla says, Because thats as low as I was allowed to go. If I could have given you a G, I would have. Heh. The girl says shes never received an F in her life, and Marla says, Well now you have. And if you dont stop harassing me, then youll be the first student to get a G. Heh, again. Marla hears giggles and shrieks of girlish glee off to the side, and thus rushes over to put a stop to all the happiness. Whos screaming in here? She finds two cutesy, pig-taily freshman girls over by the stairs, being giddy all over the place, and her grinch routine fades when she learns that one of the girls was just asked to the prom. Whos the lucky guy? Then the grinch routine returns as Marla learns that the lucky guy is a senior by the name of R.J. Saunders. Marla is not pleased with this news and storms away, raining all over some poor girls prom-parade.
Sanctum Stevenorium. Anthony Heald is briefing Principal Steven on the Exeter situation: and while nothing was said overtly, I was left with the distinct impression that I may be the leading contender. Steven nods, neutrally, and says, I see. Scott explains about the interviewers who will be coming to the school, and Steven seems sort of amenable to that as well. Something is obviously troubling him, however. Scott doesnt know what, so he just starts grasping at The Straws Of Random Reassurance: Ill be headmaster, Steven. Its something Ive always wanted. Its not that Im unhappy here. You know that. Steven says, Look, Im happy for you, Im just stunned. His tone says, I am not happy for you at all, you back-stabbing officious little prick -- now get out of my Sanctum before I throw you out with my giant Chi McBride hands. Scott says, Id also never abandon you. Should I get the job, the transition here would be my first priority. The Exposition Fairy comes in. She says, Harry Senate. I thought the name-only complaint trope was used only for Lipschultz, but I guess its branching out. And Louisa gets the proper response, in unison, from Scott and Steven: Now what? The Exposition Fairy says, He struck a deal with Cheryl Holt, and expanded the suicide club to her website. I like it how she heavily inflects her delivery, to infuse lines that are really just purely expositional in nature with some sort of point of view. In this case, she sounded exasperatedly disapproving. Its all part of her hopeless attempt to create a character from the pathetic lines shes given. And it is hopeless. I mean, you cant make Masha from Three Sisters out of: Theres an angry mother here to see you, Steven. Im starting to think they just keep her around so that theyll have someone to shoot in the season finale. Then, as some of her last words, Louisa says, Also, Marla Hendricks is here. Scott and Steven both say, Ill take Harry, but they cant, because Marla is already coming into the room. Whats wrong with taking me? You have a problem with taking me? Scott agrees to take Marla, and Steven runs off in search of Harry Senate.