Nucky is in Chicago for the Republican National Convention, where Senator Edge is hoping he'll work his backroom magic to secure Edge the VP nomination. He asks Nucky to meet with Harry Daugherty, a serious political operator who's managing the campaign of some nobody from Ohio named Warren G. Harding. Nucky senses an opportunity and approaches Daugherty with an offer to back Harding if Daugherty denies Edge the VP slot (this would be revenge for Edge fucking him out of that road money). Nucky also offers to house one of Harding's mistresses (she's got a baby, so obviously she's got Nucky's attention) in Atlantic City until after the election. So Harding wins the nomination, but Nucky's not even there to see it, because of Eli. See...
With Nucky out of town, Eli is in charge of Atlantic City and determined to be an even better Nucky than Nucky. This doesn't go too much farther than watching nun porno with the boys, but he does offer to make a collection for one of Nucky's Aldermen who has a family obligation. Eli's best intentions go awry when he goes to collect at the casino on the night the D'Alessios have arrived to rob it. So Eli gets shot -- he'll be okay, but the news shakes Nucky in Chicago. Fearing some kind of coup, he calls up Margaret and asks her to secure some sensitive documents from his office. She does, but she also takes a look at them, and for the first time sees the scope of Nucky's criminal enterprise. Nucky also approaches Jimmy (who he'd earlier rebuffed pretty harshly) and asks him to return as his consigliere of sorts -- he's going to need Jimmy to do some dirty work. Jimmy balks, because of pride and also because he's got a good deal in Chicago, but Nucky convinces him that, as an Irish among Italians, he'll always be an outsider. Seem like this works, because thing we know, Jimmy's asking his Ma for info on Luciano.
Elsewhere, it turns out (not all that surprisingly) that Van Alden has been the one intercepting Jimmy's money to Angela, who is still trying to make money off of paintings of her lady lover's naked form. Gillian is so totally onto her, though, and essentially suggests she get a paper route instead. But back to Van Alden, whose wife, Rose, is a weeping ball of emotion, because she can't conceive, and Val Alden is either too cheap or too Jehovah's Witness-y to allow her to see a doctor about it. It seems for a moment that he's going to relent and use the Darmody money to pay for such a procedure, but SWERVE! He sends it to Angela in one lump sum (for reasons that probably make some twisted Van Alden sense, but really because the show wanted to misdirect us for a second), then sends Rose a letter that might as well be titled "So You've Decided to Make Peace with Your Barren Womb."
Meanwhile, Rothstein is still sweating out this World Series scandal in New York, and Margaret and Lucy have one HELLACIOUS confrontation in the lobby at the Ritz. Lucy-haters, I hope you didn't miss that one.
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This week's episode opens with Eli Thompson, one of the more tiresome characters on television today, sitting at the metaphorically (and physically) large desk of his brother Nucky and obsessively making sure everything in its place. Nucky's out of town -- in Chicago, in fact, for the Republican National Convention. Deputy Halloran is serving in place of Eddie Kessler, and he notes that there isn't anybody waiting for an audience. Eli is perturbed, noting that the lobby is packed when Nucky is in town. Once again, Eli is transparently envious of his brother and equally dismissive of what Nucky actually does to obtain (and more importantly keep) his power. To Eli, it's all "glad-handing and back-slapping." Ward Boss O'Neill then walks in -- he's the one who got mugged for his honorarium a few weeks back -- and stops in his tracks when he sees Eli, with a simple, "Oh." Eli's all, "What 'Oh'? I can do whatever Nucky can do, wah wah wah, my arc is incredibly obvious and repetitive!" O'Neill says his daughter is being fitted for leg braces tomorrow, and he wanted to take the day and be with her. Neri usually fills in on these occasions, but his indictment has taken him off the collections trail. Eli, with as much authority as he can muster, tells him to take the day, then gets rankled when O'Neill asks if he's sure. Of course he's sure! And incredibly defensive!
The Thompson family's better half, meanwhile, is checking into his hotel in Chicago. He argues (and bribes) his way into the Presidential suite, elbowing past one General Wood, who is only one of the candidates vying for the Republican nomination. As will be argued later in this episode, "looking the part," be it the part of President of the United States or occupant of the Presidential suite, is more than half the battle. Nucky's throwing his weight around both because it works and because somebody in his position would throw his weight around. Nobody told Eli about any of this.
Nucky moves on to the dining room, where he and Eddie await Senator Edge. A little bit of expository dialogue reveals that Edge is hoping (expecting?) to receive the nomination as Vice-President, despite the fact that nobody quite knows who will get nominated at the top of the ticket. Nucky is all smiles with Edge, addressing him as "Mister Vice-President" and such. Edge wants to send Nucky to a reception thrown by Harry Daugherty -- he's Warren Harding's campaign manager. Nobody cares about Harding, Nucky says -- Edge agrees, but Daugherty has a reputation as a major player and someone valuable to know. Daugherty was, unsurprisingly, a real-life guy, and the man whom historians have credited with masterminding Harding's run to the White House. Sound familiar? Anyway, Edge is riding high. "We're gonna take this thing, Nucky," he says. "And when we do, the sky's the limit." Nucky, once again, says he doesn't care about skies, just roads. Edge doesn't bite, just once again thanks Nucky for meeting with Daugherty. "You know me," Nucky smiles. "I'll see 'em all."
At the Ritz, Margaret and Anabelle are admiring each other's jewelry, telling semi-bawdy jokes about "how's your Harry?" and generally enjoying their life of leisure. Madame Jeunet approaches, in quite a state, begging Margaret for help. We're not sure why until, like Godzilla marching in from the sea, out stomps Lucy, who seems drunk and belligerent, but that just might be Lucy. She tersely shrugs off Anabelle's greeting, then goes back to Jeunet, who tells Margaret that Lucy is insisting on being able to purchase on Nucky's credit, even though she's been cut off. Madame Jeunet once again begs Margaret to do ... something. At this, Lucy turns to Margaret and addresses her bitchily as "Mrs. MacDougal." Margaret corrects her, and Lucy asks if "Schroeder" is "Irish for 'bitch'?" Margaret fixes her with a glare, grits her teeth and says, "You're not at your best now, and you should leave." Lucy's not ready to go yet, instead slurring at Margaret, "You think you understand him?" Margaret defiantly asks her, "What if I did?" Lucy: "Then you're the dumbest Dora I ever met." Clearly, Margaret doesn't appreciate the sly and prescient Match Game reference, because she hauls off and cracks Lucy across the face. "The time won't be nearly as pleasant," she promises, and storms off. Lucy-haters, that right there was Christmas come early.
At the Darmody abode, Angela is putting the finishing touches on her painting of a naked female, apparently unworried that anyone will add it up to her secret relationship with Mary. (Which is weird, because last week, she seemed to think Nucky had secret powers of deduction and was generally pretty paranoid about it.) She turns to Tommy and asks him what he thinks of it. Tommy calls upon his vast recollection of past nudes he's taken in, from Paris to Vienna to the Italian countryside, and gives his honest assessment of his mother's work: "She looks pwetty." She sure does. Gillian returns, with the overdue grocery bill in her hand. She also says she checked the mailbox -- and with the postman himself -- and still nothing from Jimmy. Clearly, money has become a concern. Gillian looks at the painting and makes a face -- not exactly inscrutable, but I'm not quite decided if she blames Angela for her infidelity (I'm convinced she knows) or just for not being practical about it. She tells Angela it's probably time to get a job. Angela says: "My friend Mary said the same thing." Gillian: makes the face. She suggests Angela might sell "Little Dot," which is door-to-door perfume, a kind of proto-Avon. Angela says it's not her thing, which leads Gillian to make a crack about "you bohemian types" not wearing perfume. Angela says there's an art dealer in Greenwich Village who's agreed to look at her work. Gillian cocks a skeptical eyebrow. When Angela says "Mary thinks I have a good chance," Gillian again is like, "...your friend?" You can see how Gillian would be frustrated by Angela, right? I'm not entirely sure of the sequence of events in her life, but it sure seems like she had Jimmy at age 14-ish, then started dancing burlesque to make ends meet and raise the kid. So the idea that Angela won't sell Mary Kay or take a stenography course and instead wants to indulge in her dreams of being an artist -- dreams the likes of which Gillian most likely abandoned pretty early on -- has to be somewhat infuriating. She covers it well.
At the Post Office/makeshift FBI office, Agent Van Alden is putting more pins in his map of Atlantic City when one of his underlings comes in with a letter, saying, "We've got another one." This would be another letter addressed to Angela Darmody. I guess it's not surprising to see that Van Alden's been the one intercepting these parcels. His perch at the post office gives him ample opportunity. He opens the letter to reveal a pretty hefty wad of cash. Rather than pocket it, Van Alden opens a drawer, revealing weeks upon weeks' worth of similar cash-filled envelopes Jimmy has sent. He adds this new one to the pile.
In NYC, Arnold Rothstein is meeting with his attorney, and much like the last time we saw them, they're discussing the 1919 World Series, and the scandal that's been drummed up around it. It seems the scandal hasn't gone away as they'd hoped, and now Rothstein is practicing answers he's prepared to give to investigators. The story he's going with is that gamblers -- including the boxer Abe Atell -- approached him to get in on fixing the Series and he turned them down. Furthermore -- he says while summoning his most righteously indignant tone -- he has too much respect for the game as a national institution to besmirch it in such a way. His only crime is in being the kind of man people come to with harebrained ideas. "Certainly suffering fools can't be illegal," he appeals. The lawyer is impressed. Says Arnold should be a lawyer. Rothstein pulls a line out of the hackiest "Bon Mots and Lawyer Jokes, 1879" pamphlet and says he prefers to make his living legally. Because he's a criminal, see!
Nucky makes it to the Harding party and it's like For Stuffy White Guys Who Considered the Freemasons when the Republican Party Was Enuf. Nucky doesn't waste much time introducing himself to Harry Daugherty, who is played by heroic Hey! It's That Guy Christopher McDonald, aka Shooter McGavin aka the game show host from Quiz Show. Nucky conveys Edge's regrets, but Daugherty says the word is that Nucky's the man to see anyway. This may not just be simple flattery either -- Daugherty has heard that as Nucky goes, so goes the New Jersey delegation. He also thinks Harding/Edge sounds like a winning ticket, but Nucky dubious. Because first of all, who the eff is Harding? Daugherty does some electoral tap-dancing around the weak-seeming front-runners and comes up with a scenario where Harding would seem like the best of a bad bunch. Nucky looks across the room and notes that Harding "certainly looks like a President," which Daugherty says is "half the battle," especially if women get the vote. That's true -- women would've never let a fatty like Taft in the White House. Daugherty goes to fetch Harding, and while he does Nucky is distracted by a woman and her baby trying (and failing) to get into the room to see "Warren." Nucky is, of course, drawn like a moth to a flame. If Nucky were a superhero, his Batsignal would be a silhouette of a destitute woman and her barefoot and undersized toddler. Daugherty eventually does return with Harding, who has much to say about getting America "back to normal," and pushing things like stability and prosperity. You can see why this guy inspired such a frenzy.
You know, at first, I found it really amusing that this most prestigious of HBO dramas got itself stuck with Warren G. Harding as its on-screen President. But the more I think of it, it really fits the show -- Harding was an impressive man who, at a time when America was rapidly changing, stuck to the old ways and managed to ride into the White House via classic boss politics and the unremarkable efficiency of behind-the-scenes men like Daugherty. But once in office, Harding's administration was plagued by scandals -- most of them owing to political cronies in his cabinet -- and time he died in office within three years. He's remembered as one of the worst Presidents of all time. This is, after all, the story of the last gasps of a certain kind of operator and the birth of a newer, uglier kind. Things didn't get better after Harding -- Herbert Hoover and the Depression and all that. That's not the point. But his time was running out, and the end was coming a hell of a lot faster than he ever realized. Anyway, Daugherty smarty keeps Harding circulating around the party, both for glad-handing purposes and because it looks like if he talks to anyone for too long he starts to seem dull. Mrs. Harding hangs back with Nucky for a moment, but when he expresses idle pleasantries, her eccentricities begin to show. "It's a terrible, wretched thing," she says, like she's reading palms behind a neon sign. "A fortune teller told me he'll die in office." This seems like one of those things that is probably true (and it is -- Mrs. Harding was into astrology and was told that her husband would win the election but die in office; she's also said to have been one of the "victims" of the curse of the Hope Diamond; HISTORY!), but isn't as interesting as it might seem. This episode in particular seems almost needy in its desire to make sure we all know that these details are historically accurate. No, no! We trust you! Just tell us a story.
Out in the lobby, Nucky tracks down this single mother. He chats her up by the elevator, casual and non-threatening when we all know he might as well be sealing her up in mylar and adding her to his collection. She asks him if he has any children, and he says no -- he had a son, but he died. So there's one thing we were pretty sure of that's now actually true. Mark it down.
At the Van Alden home, Nelson and Rose say their grace before afternoon tea. You should not be the least bit surprised to learn that the Van Alden version of grace prominently features the word "fear." For pretty much no reason at all, Rose starts crying, and the upshot is that she hasn't been able to conceive, and this brings her shame. She's kind of hilariously operatic about it, all "Every 28 days, the blood flows and my worth as a woman diminishes." And apparently, Nelson won't allow her to seek medical treatment for it, because the Lord wouldn't want it or something. And not for nothing, but ... maybe it's better off? Who'd want to have Lars Von Trier here as a dad anyway. But Rose's friend Naomi Ellsworth has heard of a procedure that could clear the whole issue up, and it'd only cost $270. Van Alden resists and harangues and invokes The Lord, but he ultimately resigns to "do what [he] can."
Up in Nucky's office, Eli and the aldermen are watching a movie reel of priest/nun fetish porn. Because even back in the 1920s, adult male sexuality was deeply confusing. The men hoot and holler and crack jokes, and it's generally what I expect Entourage episodes to be like, so nice try with the sneaky marketing, HBO! When the film goes off the reel, Neri and the boys talk show -- collections and all. Eli announces that he'll be taking the collection at the casino, filling in for O'Neill. The men (well ... "men") continue to watch and drink and grunt semi-literate sounds of appreciation at the friar tagging Sister Mary Frances in the ass, until suddenly the film catches fire. Too hot for TV indeed.
Chicago. Nucky (with Eddie) enters Johnny Torrio's good-time club with all the grim determination of a man on the way to a dentist appointment. Nucky's annoyed by the heightened security (in the wake of the Irish massacre), and don't think he doesn't notice that Torrio doesn't call off the pat-down until after his goons have been satisfied. Torrio makes like he's going to offer Nucky a drink, but he can't because the liquor shipment Nucky promised isn't in yet. And his natives are getting restless, particularly the whores, who are all over something called a "Mary Pickford cocktail" (rum and grenadine, if you're feeling curious ... or if you have whores coming over, I suppose). Nucky does his best to calm Johnny's nerves, then changes the subject to politics. He asks about Daugherty and Harding from Ohio, and while Torrio hasn't heard either of their names before, Ohio gives him the idea to call over Judge Graves, an apparently nine-foot-tall good-natured man with a taste for black ladies. Graves's take on Harding: "He's a puppet for the fast-money boys in Cleveland." Atlantic City, Cleveland -- gotta love the loci of power in 1920s America. Graves may not think much of Harding, but he thinks quite a bit of Daugherty. "These Ohio fellas know what they're doing. Five Presidents since the civil war." Nucky takes it in, while Graves takes off to be with his specially-delivered dark lady of the evening. Meanwhile, Nucky is distracted -- surprisingly enough, it's not by an unwed mother this time. It's Jimmy.
Jimmy's throwing out some pervert who went too far with one of the ladies. Between the new suit and the confident demeanor, Jimmy's clearly come into his own here, and Nucky sees it immediately. Jimmy spots Nucky sitting with Torrio, and so commences a suuuuper awkward conversation, where the dynamic seems to be Jimmy trying to make pleasant conversation and Nucky giving short, condescending answers. What's he doing in Chicago? "I've been coming to Chicago since before you were born, James." (Torrio: "Who do you think lit that fire?" Heh.) After rolling his eyes at Jimmy's new suit (awfully Eli of you, Nucky), Nucky calls over to Eddie (who's been having his crotch massaged by a hooker for the last five minutes) and says to call them a cab. Jimmy offers to drive them himself, but Nucky uses that as an excuse to tell Jimmy that they've all been getting along just fine without him in Atlantic City -- even his wife and kid. He says the time he feels like buying himself an expensive wristwatch, send the money home instead. Jimmy takes offense, saying he writes home every week, it's Angela who never writes back. Both men are too pissed at each other now to investigate further into this discrepancy, and Nucky just storms off.
That night, Eli stops by the casino to make his collection. Something's wrong, though, starting with the record player rotating with the needle on the center of the record. Eli doesn't notice that, nor the fact that there doesn't seem to be any action going on inside the place. Just a dealer standing with his head facing down. Eli approaches him, and from behind, a masked man raises a gun to Eli. By the time Eli notices the bound and gagged patrons in the corner of the room, it's too late -- a second robber storms out and shoots him in the side. The D'Alessio brothers (recall this being the plot they hatched with Lucky Luciano last week) grab the sacks of money and scramble out to the car, right past Mrs. Eli who is still snoozing in the front seat. Inside, Eli is alive but in great pain.
Back in Chicago, Nucky is dining with Senator Edge when he gets word from Eddie about the shooting. He finds a telephone and immediately places a call to Margaret, who's in bed. He tells her that Eli's been shot (though still alive). He needs Margaret to immediately go to his office and secure some documents and records for him. Margaret wonders why he's not asking one of his many cronies. "I don't know what's happening right now," says Nucky, clearly mindful that this could be a palace coup for all he knows, and for now, he'd prefer to rely only on Margaret. He instructs her to find his ledger book in his desk, bring it back, hide it in his closet, then remain with the children in the suite until he gets home. Oh, and don't open the ledger. Margaret agrees, then asks Nucky if he's all right. Nucky, with terrifying honesty, replies, "I don't know."
Obviously troubled, Nucky can't go to sleep, so he heads for the bar at Torrio's place. About a third of the way into a bottle of whiskey, he's joined by Jimmy. Nucky makes another crack at Jimmy's suit, then asks who his friend out in the vestibule is. Richard Harrow introduces himself, and for the first time I get a glimpse of his wicked throat scar. Nice. "I need you to come home, James," Nucky says, getting right to it. He explains how Eli's been shot, and combined with the attacks on Chalky and O'Neill, he can only surmise that he's at war. "Someone's got it in their head that I'm weak, that I have no means of retaliation." He needs Jimmy to do that retaliation -- things he can't ask Eli to do (and certainly not now that he's laid up). It's not lost on Jimmy that Nucky is asking this after treating him like an actual piece of shit earlier. Plus, Jimmy says, he's got a good thing going in Chicago. Nucky wonders how far he can possibly hope to advance -- Jimmy's Irish, Torrio and company are Italian. It's a fraternity he'll never fully be able to be a part of. Jimmy, noting that his suit that Nucky keeps mentioning, cost 70 bucks. Nucky notes the lack of subtlety in this change of subject and makes him an offer: 5% of whatever comes into A.C. by boat, 10% of anything that comes on wheels. "And that Fed?" Jimmy asks. Nucky says he will work that out. Jimmy says he'll think about it, and Nucky agrees to that. Only, "don't ever keep me waiting again." Oh, Nucky. Always holding into that thin thread of "Better Than You." Always looking Presidential.
The morning, Jimmy's on the phone with Gillian -- she's dressed in a robe and an Indian headdress, naturally. He says he saw Nucky, and she asks if he's heard about Eli getting shot, which he has. She thinks he sounds lonesome and wonders if he's eating. Even when they're impossibly young, they're still moms, you know? She asks if he shouldn't come home, and Jimmy sounds noncommittal. But he does want to know what she knows about Luciano. Knowing Gillian, she's probably going to tell him, down to every last horse-cocked detail. One other thing I found interesting about this conversation: Gillian doesn't ask about the money that Angela isn't getting from Jimmy. Gillian and Angela discussed this previously, we know it's an issue, but she doesn't bring it up once? Do we assume that Gillian thinks Angela is pocketing the money for her Sapphic dalliances? Food for thought.
Nucky's checking out of the hotel while Eddie leads Nan and her baby to the car. On his way out, he's waylaid by Edge, who is incredulous that he's leaving before the delegates have even voted. His cards all having been played, Nucky doesn't have to pretend anymore. He tells Edge he knows about the deal he struck with Hague, and that's chief among the reasons why Edge will never even sniff the White House. He doesn't add a "Ya burnt!" to the end, but I'll give him a pass because it hasn't been invented yet.
Back at Torrio's place, Jimmy watched Capone and the guys play a game of cards, laughing and back-slapping, all while speaking Italian. As ways of illustrating Nucky's earlier point to Jimmy about being an outsider, it could've been more subtle (Capone shooting a cannon full of meatballs marinara into Jimmy's face would have been more subtle), but it gets the job done quickly.
Back at the A.C. post office, Van Alden is now violating his wife privacy by opening her mail. It's a clipping of a magazine ad for fertility surgery (or however they referred to it back in old-timey days -- "feminine revivification" or whatnot). Van Alden considers it soberly for a moment before opening up his drawer full of Darmody cash and rustling up all the money he can find.
And now for something completely ... kind of hilarious, we've got our new friend Nan, reading to Nucky and Eddie a poem that Harding wrote to her. And after listening to only a few verses, I think we can say that as lousy a President as Harding was, he'd have made an even worse Poet Laureate. "He's got quite a way with words," Nucky tells her. Eddie is holding the baby. Not sure how much more of this I can take. One of the train conductors pops in to tell them they'll be making a coal stop soon. Nucky asks for word out of Chicago. The conductor says Harding won after 10 ballots. Bleary-eyed bastards indeed. Nucky looks at Eddie, smirks, and as the camera pushes in, says, "That imbecile is going to be the President of the United States." I love the push-in, like we needed the effect to know that this is one of those moments Ripped From The (80-Year-Old) Headlines! Calm down a little, Boardwalk Empire You did your research. We know.