Affair

Nicki's sitting in her still bedroom when Sarah screams, "Nicki, come quick!" She pounds down the stairs as Sarah comes sprinting in, her arms around Teeny. Sarah asks where Bill is, and Nicki quickly tells her he's at the office. Sarah tells her there was a man standing in the back, but he's gone around front. Nicki calmly tells her, "Stay here. Call Margene and tell her to bring the babies over here." Then she squares her shoulders.

Meanwhile, Bill and Barb have wrapped up their latest tryst. The phone rings, wrecking Barb's good mood.

Nicki marches outside. There are two Humvees angled in front of the house, their headlights on. Alby comes over and notices his sister's headlights are on too; he tells Nicki to go get Bill. "Wake him," he says as he draws his sister's robe shut. "I want to talk to Mister Clever. He pulled one over on me." Ben slips outside and calls Nicki's name. She tells him, "Everything's all right, Benny. Go next door. Go to my house." Alby comes over and says amiably, "Hey, Benny. What's up?" Benny tells him to go away right before Alby raises a meaty paw and circles Ben's neck lightly with his hand. Nicki warns, "I'll have Papa come down on you like a ton of bricks."

This grabs Alby's attention. He turns back to Nicki and scoffs, "You? You weren't nothing till you married Bill. You were of no earthly consequence. Now look at you, strutting around like you're Mrs. Home Plus." Like any good sibling, Alby knows exactly which buttons to push. Nicki's just looking at him, and Alby adds, "Bill took you in to get a loan from Papa. Don't you know that? You're just collateral." Even the henchmen look uncomfortable after hearing this. But Nicki didn't get to be the scheming queen of Henricksons' homes plus without knowing how to push a few buttons of her own. She says calmly, "Don't think, Alby. It's not what you're good at. Roughing up teenagers and scaring women's what you do." Alby turns to look at his henchmen so they can laugh this suggestion off, but they're still whistling and pretending they don't know who he is. So Alby turns back to Nicki, who presses on: "You want to show me what you're made of?" Alby is pinned. He tries to act all casual, like Nicki hasn't just called his bluff. Nicki continues, soft and inexorable, "You can't do it, can you?" Alby sort of nods absently, and Nicki sounds off, shouting loud enough for everyone, "Take your one testicle and fly back to your cave. You ever show up here and harass this family again, I swear to God, I will kill you!" Alby's idea of a snappy comeback is to storm off and hit one of his henchmen. Nicki stands there and watches them go; it's plain that only now has she allowed herself to believe that maybe she is merely human collateral.

Then we transition to Nicki in the middle of the Henrickson family huddle. Barb's got her hand on Nicki's leg. Nicki's insisting that Roman didn't send Alby. The boy's just a loose cannon. Ben adds that Nicki was really cool, and the distaff contingent nods in affirmation. Barb says piously that she's just glad nobody was hurt. Bill -- who has not touched Nicki once during all this -- says it's time for everyone to go to bed.

But Nicki says she's got something to say to everyone. It is not "Is it true I was just collateral?" Instead, she basically announces her intention to try and get pregnant. Sarah is not pleasantly surprised. Even though Barb's not thrilled, she does manage to tell Nicki she loves her. In what is either a genuine emotional moment or one of the most coldly calculating moves ever, Nicki tells Barb emotionally, "I love you too. I love you very much." The camera pulls back so we can see the Henrickson family in tableau -- Margene standing with the kids, the rest of the adults sitting -- and the episode ends with Teeny saying, "A sister!"