Okay, I'm not even paying attention the perfectly nice purple dress Julie's wearing in the studio, because in the monitor behind her, Andy has just stood up from his nominee chair to Aaryn to adjust his shorts. Which he will be mortified about once he realizes it aired. Of course he could avoid all of these problems if he started dressing like an adult.
After the previouslies and credits, Julie welcomes us back to the studio on Day 70 of the game. With eight people still in the house, I'd like to add. We're reminded that Elissa made Andy her replacement nominee after Amanda won the Power of Veto and used it on McCrae, so Amanda will be down an ally tonight no matter what happens. And possibly even more than that, given the way she's been acting this week.
Elissa Diary Rooms that she knows Andy is on Amanda's side, so nominating him is the best thing to getting rid of Amanda. Aaryn DRs that this means the end of the 3AM alliance, and she's not feeling good about her chances. Andy's freaking out, and he DRs that he needs Amanda and McCrae's votes this week. Yes, since GinaMarie is likely to vote to keep Aaryn, they're pretty much the swing vote. Andy adds that he's got a new plan after this week that won't involve Amanda and McCrae. Which makes sense, because they're a lot less likely to go to the jury house tonight than he is.
After the Veto ceremony, Amanda gets right back to trying to get on Elissa's nerves, staring into her face while Elissa slices an apple and asking why she doesn't look like any of her pictures. I also seem to remember Elissa being a lot better looking in BB13's finale audience two years ago than she is now, but hey, why is Amanda still being mean to her after the save-Andy plan already didn't work? I'm starting to think that part of the plan was an end unto itself.
Later, Amanda asks Andy and Spencer and McCrae why they're being so nice to Elissa and letting Amanda do all the shitting on her, as though this is such backbreaking work for her. She won't even let Andy leave the room, insisting he stand there and listen to her bitch. Andy DRs that he's had about enough of this, even as Amanda decrees that anyone seen talking to Elissa will be her target.
That night, GinaMarie, Spencer, Judd, and Andy hang out in the back yard and complain about Amanda and, by extension, McCrae. So the four of them decide to form an alliance right there on the spot. Judd dubs them the Exterminators, for getting rid of rats and snakes. Except rats and snakes are sneaky. Amanda's more like a T. Rex stomping around and crying when she doesn't get her way. Andy hopes this new alliance will not only save him but get rid of Amanda and McCrae toot-suite.
Inside the house, Amanda is telling Aaryn that she did everything she could to have Elissa make GinaMarie her replacement nominee. She also says that she wants her to stay, but Andy has been with them longer. Amanda also DRs that she trusts Aaryn less after she picked Judd for the PoV competition. And thus Amanda and Aaryn bid each other a tearful, bitter farewell. Aaryn does the math and realizes that without Amanda and McCrae's support, she's going to have to secure the votes of GinaMarie, Spencer, and Judd on her own.
She starts with the easiest one, GinaMarie, who just wishes she'd won the Veto. She assures Aaryn that she's got her vote, but DRs that she also has an alliance with Andy as a backup. Now Aaryn has to talk to Spencer and Judd about their votes. Spencer gently accuses Aaryn of having had some questionable loyalties, and she confesses that she's been in bed with Amanda and McCrae for a while, but will be happy to vote against them now that they've abandoned her. Of course Spencer DRs that he's already in The Exterminators with Andy and needs him to stick around. But he and Judd both promise to think about it. They are both lying.
But since Aaryn is, correctly, not convinced, she repeats her pitch to Amanda and McCrae, saying she's a bigger target and has been of a lot more use to them than Andy has. She also threatens not to vote for either of the in the final two, which means Andy will coast to the end and win. Aaryn also tattles on Spencer, saying he told her that he would nominate Amanda and McCrae. So, completely in character, Amanda calls Spencer over to explain himself. He says that Aaryn's lying, because he can't have Amanda and McCrae suspecting that he's thought about doing what he's thought about doing.
Spencer returns to the Exterminators over at the hammock, and Aaryn asks Amanda if she trusts Spencer, which Amanda doesn't. Aaryn reminds them that she's been HoH four times and did what they wanted each time. Amanda asks if Aaryn would take them to the final three deal. After Aaryn heads inside, Amanda tells McCrae, "She's right." McCrae looks…asleep. Why should he even bother trying to think about this when she's just going to do what Amanda ultimately decides they're going to do anyway?
Back in the studio, Julie mentions that Dan will be stopping by later, and that tonight's Head of Household competition will also include a punishment for the loser. And she gives us the power to vote on it via Twitter! So which weapons do we get to choose from? Aw, it turns out we just vote on whether the loser wears a bunny suit or a chicken suit for 48 hours. That's disappointing.
After the ads, Julie is sitting with BB10 winner and BB14 runner up Dan (still the best player in the game's history and I will not hear otherwise), who remarks that this is his first time sitting in the studio. See what he did there? He says Amanda is playing meaner than anyone else but is one of the few people actually playing. He suspects that's who she really is, calling her a brat who needs to either be an all-out villain or control her emotions or some damn thing.
Julie mentions the enemies Dan made during his last season, and he says that he never attacked anyone personally like Amanda does, so he's friends again with most of the people he screwed. Dan's actually a fan of Judd, for his strategically smart clean-slate return, and when Julie asks Dan about the big power couple, Dan says that showmances never last as teams to the end because they're too big a target. Yes, there was Rachel, but she won after Brendon's eviction.
Well, so now that they've touched on the showmance topic, we're checking in with some past showmances. Starting with the aforementioned Brendon and Rachel, whose return to my screen reminds me that Elissa really isn't that bad in comparison. "Hopefully soon we'll have little Big Brother babeeeeez!" she wails at the camera, saying she wants to beat Danielle and Dominic to it. Somebody please kill one of us, I don't even care which.
Since Rachel brought up Danielle, we check in with her and Dominic, her BB13 showmance whom she has since married. Danielle also comments on how Amanda and McCrae have been sliding by, as though there aren't still eight freaking people in the house during the last episode of August. Speaking of Amanda and McCrae, we see a previously unaired clip of the two of them getting fake-married by Andy in the back yard at some point. By way of awkward segue, Danielle mentions how they were in the house with Jeff & Jordan, who are still together four years later, after two seasons of Big Brother and one of The Amazing Race. Jordan's still a ditz, in case you were wondering. And by the way, didn't those two make it to like the final four or something during their first season? When Julie comes back to throw it to commercials, she says that Andy and Aaryn "both have a lot of explaining to do." One more than the other, I would say.
Group Chenterview via the living-room viewscreen. Julie welcomes Judd back, and asks how the house is different since his return. Judd just says it's the same people minus a few, so they did him a favor. Julie also congratulates Amanda on her PoV win, and asks what was going on in her head during her tormenting of Elissa. Which time? Amanda says Elissa pressed her buttons, and claims they've resolved it, but everyone learned their lesson. Except then Elissa rambles on about how Amanda made it more personal than she did, so Amanda will be coming after her for that now. Then there's some filler about one of the bedrooms being especially messy, which Julie sort of blames on Spencer. Who sardonically thanks Julie for asking him the first question in weeks. No, thank you, Spencer, for making this perennially pointless exercise almost interesting.
Nominee addresses: Aaryn's is pretty much an Oscar speech, thanking everyone and saying she'll respect their decision. Andy unspools a surrealistic speech about being from Illinois, which he seems to think entitles him to misquote Lincoln's Gettysburg Address before capping it off with "Good night, good luck, and I love you Anderson Cooper." If that speech was designed to make everyone never want to nominate him again to as to avoid hearing another speech like that, I think it worked.
The voting begins with Judd, who votes to evict Aaryn. So does Spencer. GinaMarie tearfully makes it a third vote to evict Aaryn, so they clearly got to her. Aaryn's done, and Amanda and McCrae make it unanimous. Not entirely surprising, except for GinaMarie. Not fooling anybody with that one.
Julie breaks the "news" to the house that Aaryn has been evicted by a 5-0 vote. She smiles and hugs everyone before grabbing her bag and going out to face Julie. And the audience, not all of whom seem thrilled to see her. In fact, the boos outlast the cheers, and as she sits down, Julie tells her, "We have a lot to talk about. Including the mixed reception you just got." She eases into it, remarking on the 5-0 vote and asking her why Amanda and McCrae rolled over on her. Aaryn suspects Amanda and McCrae might consider Andy easier to beat than herself, and also he's been with them longer, as Amanda mentioned. As for GinaMarie's vote, Aaryn told her to vote with the house to avoid making herself a target. "That was big of you," Julie says. Again, not fooling anyone.
She then asks why Aaryn disliked Elissa so much, and Aaryn explains that she was friends with Elissa at first, until she found out Elissa had lied about being Rachel's sister and then made Aaryn a target by saying she would be MVP. None of which is a particularly good reason to hate her the way Aaryn did.
So now that Aaryn is good and softened up, Julie raises the question of Aaryn's hateful, racist remarks earlier in the season, though even now she diplomatically describes them as "pretty harsh things about your fellow houseguests." Aaryn deploys that infuriating "Southern" defense, which might as well be calculated to offend both halves of the country for different reasons. She claims things she said were taken the wrong way, while some members of the audience laugh openly at her. I would normally expect Julie to let it go at that, but she's got some cards printed out, all ready with some of Aaryn's greatest hits.
This is what Julie says to Aaryn's face: "Referring to Candice, you said, 'be careful what you say in the dark. Might not be able to see the bitch.' Referring to Helen, you said, 'shut up, go make some rice.' Referring to Andy, you said, 'no one's going to put up for whoever that queer puts up.' Can you see how those things can be interpreted as racist and as homophobic?" Aaryn, who's been sitting through this looking both defensive and shocked, claims not to remember saying those things, which causes the studio audience to erupt in laughter like they are on Two and a Half Men. Aaryn also says she didn't mean it. I don't see how both of those statements can be true.
Having elicited some minor squirming, which to be fair is more than she usually accomplishes, Julie gets back to the usual softballs, asking Aaryn if she learned anything about herself. Aaryn says she feels like a different person, and claims to be great friends with Andy, Helen, and even Candice. Which just gets her more laughs from the audience. This chick is going to have one tough reentry into the real world. I hope.
So, moving on to the farewell messages. Judd starts off as though he's signing a video yearbook before saying she has to go because she's playing for Amanda and McCrae. Amanda says this is her hardest eviction yet. Elissa says, "Aaryn, I have nothing to say to you. Except have fun in the jury house, or don't." And after she was so excited about working with her this week, too. GinaMarie gives a compliment-filled, content-free farewell, and then Julie asks Aaryn if she has any final thoughts. Aaryn says she feels horrible, and again blames Texas for all her offensive comments. Which I'm sure Texas will appreciate. Julie says that after living in the house for ten weeks, she's going to see a lot of footage of herself. "After you watch all this footage, I hope and I think you might have a new perspective on things." And she'll have plenty of time to think about it since those things got her fired. Wow, though, I'm kind of amazed that Julie was so hard-hitting. I mean, she wasn't that tough objectively, but on Julie's own personal scale that goes from one to Piers Morgan, that was Mike Wallace.
This looks like a pretty simple HoH competition, despite the Alice in Wonderland-looking set and the fact that everyone's wearing bunny ears, including outgoing HoH Elissa. Each player has a chicken coop behind them, with a wall facing them composed mostly of the giant letters HOH and a chicken-wire screen. By reaching just their fingers through the wire, they'll have to pick up an egg from inside, wiggle it through the giant letters, and up to a hole in the upper right corner big enough to get the egg through. Then they'll hop back to the basket that each of them is standing in front of right now and put it in. First to collect a dozen wins.
Julie tells them to start, and the hopping begins. Julie explains to us at home that each player's feet are tied together, hence the hopping. Hey, you know what I just learned? Six people doing a slow, fiddly task like this is really not exciting television. But GinaMarie, who probably has the smallest fingers, seems to have a lead on everyone, though Andy is also doing well. Julie warns them that there will be a punishment for the player with the least eggs in their basket at the end: 48 hours in a chicken suit, per 69% of the vote. How disappointing. For the player who loses, I mean. What did you think I meant?
After the last ad break, Julie says that Sunday's episode will reveal who wins HoH, and there'll be another surprise competition for them as well. Probably to watch some crappy movie. Power of Veto on Wednesday as usual, and then Thursday will have the second double eviction of the season. Let's hope it's not the last. On our way out, we get a quick look at some of the baskets. Andy just got his second egg, Spencer has one, and GinaMarie is making good progress on her third, while Judd and McCrae and Amanda have one each. I don't think we need to wait until Sunday to find out how this is going to turn out.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.