We're rejoining the HoH-slash-Juror-Reentry contest already in progress. Candice, Jessie, Judd, and Helen are standing on narrow, moving platforms up against a wall, trying to catch balls being launched at them at odd intervals. We're also getting some reactions in the Diary Room, spoken as though they're happening in real time even though we all know perfectly well that they couldn't have been recorded until after everyone knew the outcome. But then what else is new. Amanda is pretty bitter, saying, "You're evicted for a reason." That reason being, in most cases, Amanda.
We flash back to Helen's eviction on Thursday night, including Amanda's unrepentant post-mortem in the DR. Also, Spencer compares himself to Houdini, who also escaped eviction from the Big Brother house six times. Andy's a wreck, as usual, and he and the editors remind us that this is pretty much a weekly occurrence for him.
Back during the competition, Judd asks Helen who she was up against, and upon hearing that it was Spencer, he says he feels bad for how he's always on the block. Helen agrees, adding that Spencer could win at this rate. So look who's already playing the game again, trying to make someone else a target.
More balls get fired, and we're up to the point we left off on Thursday, with Jessie in the lead. The platforms have been moving this whole time, but suddenly they shrink almost entirely into the wall, causing Spencer and McCrae to fall off pretty much simultaneously, twenty minutes in. The two guys with the biggest feet, probably. McCrae knows Amanda's going to be pissed off about that, which of course she is. Amanda catches her first ball shortly thereafter, now that she knows she might actually have to win her first competition of the summer. More balls keep coming, the platforms keep moving, and soon Jessie and Elissa are tied for the lead, with three balls each. And then some sports mascots randomly come out to dance around and distract everyone for a few minutes. During which time Elissa catches her fourth ball. So that didn't work on her.
Thirty-eight minutes in, there are still four jurors and five houseguests on the wall. Helen has started giving the other jurors some updates in case one of them goes back instead of her. Some of that news includes the fact that Andy can't be trusted. Some more balls are caught, and the platforms get tiny again, and Andy goes down. That means Judd's the only guy left on the wall, but he probably wants it the most. It also means that it's up to Amanda to represent for 3AM. Elissa's in the lead with five balls, while Amanda and Jessie have four balls each. But then Jessie falls off, so she's done. "Fuck off, Amanda, I hate you," is her exit line. Amanda's all, "What did I do?" Jessie DRs that she wanted to show that she wasn't afraid of Amanda. Yes, on her way out, after Amanda can't do anything to her.
So now it's Helen, Candice, and Judd against Elissa, GinaMarie, and Amanda. Elissa's still in the lead. Forty-nine minutes in, Helen DRs that it's the hardest competition ever, but she's staying on for as long as it takes. And then she promptly falls off. That's a relief to Andy and a big letdown for Elissa. GinaMarie and Aaryn both DR about how they don't want Candice back, but Aaryn doesn't want Judd either.
It's still going on an hour and thirteen minutes later, when Judd takes a ball to the clavicle and Candice finally falls off. So Judd's back in the game, which I'm actually okay with. I mean, yes, he weirds me out, but his eviction happened for the worst and most inaccurate reasons of all the jurors. And he's still in the competition for HoH, against Amanda, Elissa, and GinaMarie. Aaryn is practically hyperventilating on the bench, knowing Judd is going to come after her. Amanda feels the same way. But Judd says he wants to start over with a clean slate, and then Amanda gets a ball in the tit.
As the competition wears on, Elissa has seven balls, Judd five, and Amanda four, while GinaMarie is wearing out her calves for nothing, given the three balls she's managed to catch. Elissa tries to catch a ball and slips down on her ass, but she manages to stay on the platform and recover. Again, the yoga comes in handy. And Judd keeps saying he isn't mad at anyone, which is probably good because he falls off . He's still in the house, but worried about Amanda still being up there.
While the platforms are thrusting in and out of the wall, Amanda loses her balance. But she manages to hold on to the ball-container mounted on the wall to her, and as she swings around, she kicks her left foot against the wall and manages to swing back up onto the platform. Now that was impressive. She wants this one bad. And obviously her allies in 3AM (McCrae, Andy, and Aaryn) want it for her.
Elissa falls , but she also hangs onto her ball container and recovers, even though both her feet left the platform. "That was bad-ass," Spencer calls out. "That was like Batman." Actually, what surprised me most is that those ball-holders are anchored onto the wall strongly enough to hold up a human being. Elissa's only got two balls to go, too.
After an hour and 34 minutes, Elissa catches her ninth ball, while Amanda only has six and GinaMarie is still at three. And then Elissa catches her tenth ball, so she's HoH for the week, just like she wanted. And for the first time ever. Between this and the PoV competition last week, I'm starting to think that she's been coasting up until she and Helen were actually in danger. Judd's the first one to get a hug from her, so it looks like he's in good shape. Amanda DRs that Elissa is not going to be the docile little pet she's used to having in the HoH room, and Aaryn is actually feeling sick. As for Elissa, she DRs that while she threatened Andy with eviction if he voted Helen out, she has now realized that there are bigger targets. And I'm sure Helen will be happy to see them too.
After the competition, Elissa asks why Judd was mad at her on the night of his eviction. You may remember that Judd rejected her hug when he left. He now explains that he was mad at Helen and assumed Elissa was in on it. But Judd maintains that he's starting over, with no alliances. Probably the smartest thing he can do. Which is a low bar with Judd, but still.
Andy, GinaMarie and Aaryn speculate on what Elissa's move will be. Aaryn thinks it's going to be her and GinaMarie, and is all weepy in the DR about her hard work potentially going for nothing. I know, sweetie, it must be exhausting not being a total asshole all the time.
Amanda is smart enough to realize she's got to approach Elissa and figure out how to control her to make sure neither that neither McCrae nor Amanda herself gets nominated. Elissa tells Amanda that she wants Aaryn to go home. "But that does not mean I have any desire to work with Amanda," Elissa DRs. And to make that clear to Amanda, she says she might nominate Spencer or Amanda herself against Aaryn. Amanda warns that she won't beat Aaryn at the PoV competition. "McCrae would," Elissa points out, uncovering all her bases. Obviously Amanda doesn't want that either, but Elissa doesn't really give a shit. In fact, she says in the DR that she sees a chance to bust up the 3AM alliance, which must not be as secret as it thinks.
Amanda reports to McCrae that Elissa is not on board. "This girl's crazy-uuhh!" she whines in the DR. McCrae agrees to work on Elissa with Andy, because Amanda has finally realized that pushing people too hard can be counterproductive. Or at least she's realized it for now.
Time for Elissa's HoH party. Amanda tries to hearken back to the days of Britney hating Rachel in the DR, but it's pretty weak sauce. So is Elissa's HoH basket, which is full of healthy snacks and a yoga mat. She also gets a letter from Rachel, which Elissa reads out loud. In case you were curious, Rachel's words in Elissa's voice is like a black hole of annoyance.
Amanda's deciding to throw herself another pity party because she's feeling out of control and defeated. In other words, it's been hours since an HoH kowtowed to her. McCrae comes and finds her in bed and tells her she can't control everything. Still, Amanda is insisting that if Elissa really wants to be rid of Aaryn, then GinaMarie is the only logical other nominee. Unless, as she concludes, "We're her second choice." Which of course they are, even if McCrae doesn't believe it. Amanda says the one thing they have to avoid is getting nominated together. Which means it'll totally happen somehow.
Later, McCrae goes up to the HoH room to start gaming out scenarios for Elissa, in the presence of Andy, Amanda, Judd, and Spencer. Which, as it turns out, involves reminding Elissa of some of the rules of the game where the Power of Veto is concerned. All Elissa cares about is her target going home, and to hell with everyone else, and that's pretty much what she tells them. Amanda and McCrae try to convince her that they're on her side and that there's no percentage in risking one of them, but of course Elissa DRs that her alternate target is Amanda anyway. Amanda starts getting weepy and frustrated, which is always a good sign, but Elissa isn't budging.
This week's Sunday filler segment is Aaryn accidentally picking up a bottle of Elissa's nail polish remover and taking a swig from it instead of from her water bottle. So clearly these people are losing their minds.
Judd visits Elissa in the HoH room, and she tells him that Aaryn and then Amanda have to go. Judd agrees, saying he trusts her more than anyone. So the two people with no allies have just made an alliance.
Then it's time for Aaryn's visit to Elissa. Aaryn figures that she's Elissa's target. "Well, one of them," Elissa shrugs. Aaryn warns that Amanda and McCrae will continue to run the house if they stay together, and Aaryn tearfully offers Elissa whatever she wants if she gets to stay. Elissa accuses Aaryn of lying to her and screwing her over every time she's come to her. Which happened, what, once? Aaryn begs that she wants to be here so bad. "You want to be here so bad to play the game for Amanda?" Elissa asks. Who Aaryn just threw under the proverbial bus, Elissa, do try to keep up. Aaryn says she would keep Elissa safe for as long as she could. Elissa just looks at Aaryn like she's on a microscope slide, and one that hasn't won four times as many HoH competitions as Elissa has. But she admits in the DR that she's actually giving it some thought.
On nomination day, Aaryn DRs that she's pretty sure she's the primary target. Andy is still worried about Elissa's threat that she'd nominate him for voting Helen out, clearly unaware that Elissa has moved on. McCrae DRs that this is the first time he's felt any danger in the game, and Amanda is feeling pretty defeated. "This is Elissa's world, and we're all just living in it." Spoken like someone who's used to things being the other way around. Elissa VOs that she's focused on big targets, and they'll be after her, "But that's nothing new."
She calls them in for the nomination ceremony, at the new, smaller table, and starts pulling keys. And here's who's safe: Judd, GinaMarie, Spencer, Andy, and Amanda. Which means Aaryn and McCrae are the nominees. Elissa tells McCrae that she hopes he wins the Veto (so she can put up Amanda as his replacement, she doesn't say), then accuses Aaryn of targeting her since week one and trying to make her life miserable. "Now you know how I felt."
McCrae DRs that it's not fun to be nominated, but he has to "play nice as much as I can…distract Amanda from saying mean things also…hopefully win this Veto." At least one of those things is going to prove impossible. Amanda's not used to having no control over the nominations, and she suspects that Aaryn isn't Elissa's only target. Well, duh. Elissa claims in the DR that she loves Big Brother and it's in her blood, even though she keeps forgetting the rules. Aaryn tearfully DRs that she's getting all the blame for hating Elissa, even though everyone else in the house does too. "But I want to be here," she weeps. Especially now that there's nobody left in the house but white people.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.