Julie's all fancy with the monitors tonight, walking past screens that show each nominee as she mentions them in turn: Howard as Amanda's target, Amanda as a new target, and Candice "in the mix." Nice writing there.
So now it's August, and there are still twelve freaking people in this house. The week in review: Aaryn won HoH and nominated Howard and Spencer per Helen's instructions. Then America the MVP made Amanda the third nominee, Spencer won the Veto, and Candice's attempts to save Howie ended up getting her nominated in Spencer's place. So now you're up to speed.
Julie is resplendent in a yellow teepee as she makes a non-specific intro to the "action" in the house as it currently stands on Day 39. In the Diary Room, Spencer is glad to be safe, but he needs to save Howard and get rid of Amanda for the sake of his own game. Candice remarks on Aaryn's redneck-style nomination of her, and while Amanda isn't thrilled to be on the block, she's pretty confident that Howard will be going home this week. Howard is also hoping someone can have the guts to change the game. It's not that they're afraid to, Howard, it's that they don't especially want to. Later, Candice is venting to Howard about Aaryn's nomination, and they end up arguing about what he calls her negativity and what she calls her realism. I'm with Candice on this one.
Spencer DRs that he needs five votes to save Howard, but with McCrae, Elissa, and Helen already in the tank, he's got some work to do. He gets GinaMarie to agree to vote to keep Howard, then he and Howard move on to approach Judd and Andy to try to talk them into making a move against Amanda while there's still time. They seem open. Spencer then updates Candice, promising her that he's doing his best to get Amanda out this week.
Later, Andy quietly tells Amanda about the deal he and Judd made with Howard and Spencer to vote her out, but of course the fact that he's telling her about it is a sign that it's not going to happen. Amanda gets upset over having trusted Judd, but Andy assures her it's all under control.
Out in the back yard in the morning, Spencer makes some small talk with Amanda about coffee until she abruptly says, "I know what you think that you're doing, but it's not gonna work and you're just making yourself more of a target." Spencer denies any knowledge of any plan, and tries to tell Amanda that his target is Candice. She gives him a series of warnings and offers to help him, and he says, "I don't really give a shit, Amanda." Way to play it cool, buddy. He starts quietly ranting about how he knows she was behind his nomination, and when she denies that, he snaps, "Shut up, Amanda," and launches into a round of obnoxious mansplaining. So that went well.
Time for the nominee speeches. Amanda goes first, already dressed for the HoH competition because she knows damn well she's not going anywhere, and says she wants to "have a nice big Jewish wedding." Julie asks Amanda if she's telling them something, and Amanda holds up a ringless hand and announces that she and McCrae are indeed "Big Brother engaged." So no, she didn't tell us anything. Candice says hi to both her moms and her "bestie-boos" who've had birthdays, and tells everyone to vote with their hearts before wrapping it up with some nice things about Howard. Who starts off his speech with references to God, his family, and his pastor, and his housemates. He also tells them to vote on their own behalf and says he's ready for whatever comes . We'll see about that.
Helen kicks off the voting by going into the DR and evicting "my dear friend Howard." Elissa does the same. Spencer snottily votes to evict "My bestie-boo, Candice." McCrae accepts Julie's sincere congratulations on his fake engagement and votes to evict Howard. Andy also votes out Howard, as does Judd, making it a lock. And somehow GinaMarie and Jessie have chickened out, because they also vote out Howard. So that's a 7-1 vote that will end Howard's game, permanently isolate Spencer, and probably curse us to a week of Spencer as the HoH.
After the ads, Julie tells Amanda that the vote left her unscathed, and Howard that he's evicted. Howard gives hugs all around, saving the last and longest for Candice. "Go get your bed," he tells her on his way out. While he and Julie get set up for the exit Chenterview in the studio, the interior of the house is either bleeped or without audio almost the whole time. Which means there are either some foul mouths or some incompetent producers. Not that these are mutually exclusive.
Julie asks Howard why they thought he was such a threat, like all his shirtless weightlifting was going to go unnoticed. Howard mentions a "power in the house" that one go against at one's peril, meaning Helen, Elissa, Amanda, and McCrae. Julie asks why Howard didn't join up with them, as if he didn't try. Which he points out. She also asks Howard why he lied to Helen about the Moving Company when she clearly had the goods, and Howard says he was trying to save face. Julie informs Howard that this was when he lost Helen for good. Then Julie shocks me by actually using the word "racist" in reference to certain things that went down in the house, and asks Howard how hard it was to keep quiet about it. Howard says it's easy in the real world when you can walk away, but being trapped in the house made it that much harder. Julie asks why Howard didn't protest, and Howard says he didn't want anyone to see his temper and took the high road. That earns him sincere applause from the audience, which almost never happens in these things.
But Julie talks over it to introduce the farewell messages, because she's got a live show to run here. Spencer tells Howard he wishes he was still in the house. Amanda says that Howard is "manipulative," which is just about the last thing Howard is, and says that's why he's gone. Helen acts like she's going to miss him in the house, and asks him to forgive her. Candice is pretty emotional as she says she hopes they can still be friends afterward and go sailing. Julie asks Howard when the showmance became a friendship, and Howard yammers about how he preferred to leave Candice in the house than let her continue to blow herself up for his sake. Julie makes Howard guess who the MVP was this week, and after way too long considering he's had days to think about this, he guesses Elissa. Julie says it was America, and will be again this week. Good, more randomness.
For the HoH competition, the ten remaining houseguests who aren't outgoing HoH Aaryn are all standing on a long cylinder that stretches the length of the backyard. They're holding onto ropes that extend from somewhere above and terminate in plastic bull heads in front of handlebars like on a waterskiing tow rope that has a bull's head on it for no good reason. The one who stays on the cylinder longest wins, but there's some unnecessary complications added, mainly to justify calling the game "Bull in a China Shop." If anyone falls off, their rope will swing loose and the bull's head will smash into a china cabinet. I don't know why there's an old west town backdrop behind them on top of everything else. The competition starts and it looks like it's going to be your basic endurance challenge. Helen's already bobbling her handle, alternating between holding on with one hand and two. And then Elissa falls to her knees, but hangs onto her rope and manages to recover. Julie remarks, "That yoga comes in handy," which would be unusually quick-witted of her if it hadn't taken her so long to recognize that it was Elissa. Julie remarks on how some of them are way better at this than others (looking at you, Judd) and announces that there will be no Have-Nots this week. "So everybody will be eating normal [sic]." After a little more barrel-walking, Julie offers the houseguests a chance to quit, saying the first three to take her up on it will be allowed to open one of the three boxes waiting nearby, saying one of them has $5,000 inside. Nobody takes her up on it just yet.
After one last ad break, Julie runs down the upcoming week's schedule, which will include a double eviction episode Thursday. The audience cheers at that, and not just me. Julie then gets on the loudspeaker to the houseguests and warns that it's about to start going faster. And it does, but everyone manages to survive the closing credits without incident. Which, now that I think about it, would be an excellent title for this show.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.