Aaryn nominated Elissa and Helen, because she is a vengeful, gullible child whose boyfriend got voted out last week and now you're up to speed. Aaryn Diary Rooms that Elissa was her target because that's who she blames for sending David home. In turn, Elissa is the opposite of surprised at her own nomination, but thinks it was pretty vindictive to ding Helen as well. Helen DRs that Aaryn must be "threatened" by Helen's friendship with Elissa, which is giving Aaryn rather too much credit if you ask me.
After we've seen all this big talk in the DR, we head into the Have-Not room for Elissa and Helen's tearful tête-à-tête immediately after the nominations. They not only refuse to fight each other to stay, but Helen tells Elissa to use the PoV on herself (in the unlikely event Elissa wins it) and Helen will figure something else out. Elissa DRs about a bigger target hopefully presenting itself, and right on cue, Candice enters. She DRs about her (totally correct) theory of the boys' alliance using Aaryn to do its dirty work. Well, knowing is half the battle. Or maybe more than half, since nobody in this house ever knows anything.
In the storage room, Nick, Jeremy and McCrae hang out and talk about how all the chicks need to go home, and how happy they are about its inevitability. What goeth before a fall again?
Helen visits Aaryn in the HoH room to reiterate her offer of secretly working together so they can get rid of each other's friends when the time comes. I'm not sure why this conversation is necessary; it sounds like Aaryn has already put the plan in action. Still, Aaryn seems pretty receptive in the DR and says she looks forward to working with Helen.
Guess who's MVP? Elissa again. Yes, she's annoying... but at least she's not racist. Maybe the title should be changed to LBP or Least Bigoted Player. In either case, Elissa returns to the Have-Not room and privately breaks the news to Helen. She learned from her mistake telling McCrae last week, so this week she just wants to keep it on the DL and nominate Jeremy. Cosigned! Helen Socratically asks Elissa who the backup nominee is if Jeremy wins the Veto, and Elissa immediately names Kaitlin. Helen points out that Elissa should nominate Kaitlin to start with, both Helen and Elissa will throw the PoV, and when Kaitlin wins and Vetoes herself then Elissa can backdoor Jeremy. This is a solid plan except for how there will be three other people in the PoV competition. Helen seems to come to the same realization and decides they need to take the chance to nominate Jeremy while they can, lest someone else win the PoV and they miss their window.
GinaMarie flirts shamelessly with Nick, who is starting to feel all the female attention (including Jessie's following him around the house earlier in the week) go to his head. Currently, however, GinaMarie is working him pretty hard, but so far can't seem to give it away. I'm starting to suspect that Nick's alliance isn't his only secret.
Everyone gathers in the living room to discover who the MVP nominee is. The monitor informs them that it's Jeremy, just as Elissa planned. He and his fellow nominees Elissa and Helen join Aaryn at the front of the room, and Aaryn randomly draws the names of the other two players for the PoV competition: Amanda and Nick. Nick DRs that he's "stoked" and will do everything he can to save Jeremy. Aaryn selects GinaMarie as the PoV host, probably because she has the loudest voice. Jeremy seems cocky and pumped to join the PoV competition, to the point where Elissa actually looks worried. "Guard your meat, 'cause I'm coming to eat!" he DRs. Upstairs, Aaryn and GinaMarie and Kaitlin gloat about Elissa's inevitable defeat. Maybe save the gloating for after it happens?
GinaMarie takes Nick aside and warns him against winning the PoV and putting himself in a position to save Jeremy. Nick isn't convinced, so Elissa kidnaps him for a minute and claims that people are after him, but she's willing to make a two-week deal with him. "I don't want to say anything," Nick says, which means "No." Elissa will neither confirm nor deny whether she's MVP again, but threatens that if he wins and uses the Veto, she's going to make him Jeremy's replacement nominee. Yeah, I think she just confirmed. Nick agrees to this to her face, but in the DR he tells us that he's only telling her what she wants to hear, because if he wins the Veto he's safe anyway. Yes, it does appear that either Elissa or Nick is missing something.
After the ads, Elissa and Helen are getting weepy about missing their husbands and kids. Howard wanders up and prays for them. That launches a montage of Howard praying with just about everyone, including people he's been actively plotting against. God must be like, "Wait, what do you actually want from Me now?
Everyone gathers in the living room in advance of the PoV competition. The competitors are all wearing one-piece footie pajamas, but GinaMarie is in this bikini-top-and-diaper outfit that's totally off-putting. So I think we can assume that the competition will be somehow baby-themed. They settle in for a message on the viewscreen: it's Britney from last year and BB12, announcing and demonstrating that she is quite pregnant. She tells them all to get outside and help "get my nursery together." Britney is going to raise her child in the Big Brother backyard? And here I always thought she was one of the less insane houseguests.
Outside, the players discover a backyard with giant cribs, stuffed animals, and mobiles. Andy DRs about the appropriateness of the theme given the babies he's trapped in here with and GinaMarie explains the competition. Each player will run back and forth from their crib, selecting stuffed animals from a bin to hang from a currently empty mobile. All they can use is loops of ribbon and the principles of balance, so some might find this tricky. First one to pull it off wins PoV. Various players DR about their motivation to win and GinaMarie brays, "Go!" The competition begins, with players running across and gathering as many animals as possible in one go. Aaryn explains the competition all over again from the DR, and Nick explains that he's in a no-lose situation: if he wins the PoV he uses it on Jeremy and is safe. If he loses, Elissa won't nominate him for two weeks. As predicted by everyone but the houseguests, everyone finds this more difficult than expected, as animals keep slipping off the bars. Judd gets to make a lame joke in the DR about stuffed animals getting concussions, like the many he has presumably received. Amanda gets a full complement of animals on her mobile first and goes to hit her buzzer, but it's no good -- two stuffed bears are touching the mattress of her crib, which is a no-no. Jeremy is having cascading failures until he has some kind of engineering epiphany and realizes he has to start hanging the heavy animals near the top first. Elissa is sucking air, and both she and Helen realize Helen's going to have to win in order to save the situation. But she doesn't; Jeremy does, which makes him even more noisily insufferable effective immediately.
Howard figures this is good news for him, because he still thinks he's in danger of being pegged as the strongest competitor in the house (he is incorrect). Elissa and Helen, however, are less pleased because now they have to find a bigger target than themselves for Elissa to name as a replacement nominee. Well, find one or make one.
Kaitlin and Jeremy canoodle in bed. She voices her concerns that she's going to end up being this week's David, and Jeremy tells her not to get all "emotional" and "sourpuss." So they go back to making out. Still, Kaitlin has concerns, and they keep alternating between macking and fretting and reassuring. And the music editors have to keep alternating between silence and porn music.
So Jeremy decides he needs to take steps to protect Kaitlin, namely by warning Nick that if Elissa stays, he'll know the Moving Company screwed him and he'll quit the alliance. Nick gives his assurances to Jeremy in person, but in the DR he predictably bristles at Jeremy's ultimatum. Howard has a similar reaction when Jeremy says the same thing to him, as does McCrae and probably Spencer. It's taking them until now to realize that Jeremy is the worst ally ever?
Meanwhile, Candice is trying to consolidate things on the female side of the house, having a whispered conversation with Elissa about how the girls need to dominate and not let the boys run the house. She also advises Elissa to put up a bigger threat than herself, i.e. one of the guys. Specifically, she thinks Jeremy is in bed with Nick, so they need to split the brains from the brawn. Elissa's only misgiving is that she promised not to nominate Nick if he threw the Veto competition. Well, Elissa, he didn't throw it -- he lost fair and square. So don't sweat that.
Instead, Elissa goes to Nick to try to cement their deal. She asks if he'll vote Kaitlin out in the event Kaitlin is the replacement nominee. Nick won't agree to anything, which of course not only means "No," it means "No and I don't even care enough to lie to you about it." He also doesn't deny planning to flip on her. So he's giving her every possible reason to go back on the deal he's not even claiming to have honored. Clearly he's not as smart as he's cracked up to be.
Before the Veto ceremony, Helen says she's not worried about herself, but hope Elissa makes the right choice in her replacement. Elissa says her two options are Kaitlin and Nick. Kaitlin still figures she's the pawn rather than the target, but the pawn "always ends up going home somehow." Yes, that's because Big Brother players are stupid. Jeremy convenes the Veto meeting and announces that he's decided not to use the PoV -- on Elissa or Helen. But he'll be Vetoing himself, of course. See what he did there? Jeremy sits down and they all wait for the monitor to display the face of the replacement nominee -- and it's Nick. He looks both mock-surprised and actually surprised at the same time, as he goes to sit between Elissa and Helen on the nominee couch. Jeremy adjourns the Veto meeting. Helen does some big talk in the DR about how "the mom squad" is booting Nick. Candice DRs about how proud she is of Elissa for having the balls to nominate Nick, girl power, etc. But Nick boasts that as "CEO of the Moving Company," he has nothing to fear. Elissa DRs that they need to convince everyone that Nick is the biggest threat in the house. Which is probably true, which means very few of these idiots will actually believe it.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
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