Replay of Keith's eviction. Porsche's happy about it in the Diary Room, as is Jeff. But Dominic DRs that since the vote was six to four, that tells him that two of their people flipped on the newbies. We know it was Shelly and Kalia, but he doesn't. Kalia says that being called out by Keith had a lot to do with her vote. As for Shelly, remember how in the live eviction episode she said someone would get an ass-whupping? She was totally pretending that she wasn't the other newbie who voted with the veterans to boot Keith, when of course she was. Both Adam and Lawon DR about feeling blindsided by this development. And Porsche gloats some more in the DR about her new Golden Key. Rachel DRs that she and the veterans were able to pull off the vote they wanted, even though they're in the numerical minority. "So I just thank my lucky stars that these newbies are idiots." And as much as I hated Rachel last year? When she's right, she's right.
So then there was a replay of Jordan "winning" the HoH competition, and apparently everyone's pretending that the other veterans didn't throw it to her. Cassi's worried about the veterans being in power again. Speaking of whom, the veterans have a quiet little celebration in one of the bedrooms. While in the Have-Not room, Dominic and Cassi and Shelly and Kalia all agree that they'd like to know who from their side voted Keith out, even though half of them know perfectly well that they did. Lawon joins them and announces, "It's on and cracking." Adam says he was approached, and that he lied to the veterans and said he'd do what they wanted. While he's talking, Dominic leaves the room, which raises Adam's suspicions toward him. Kalia DRs, "There are two people in there lying about their votes. They don't know one of them is me," and she's not saying otherwise. Adam figures that he and Dominic are going to be nominated this week, as punishment for not doing what he said he'd do. In comes Rachel, all, "How's everything goin'?" Rachel pretends not to know there are sides in the house, like it's not weeks too late for that, and when Cassi says something about being disappointed that Porsche stayed, Rachel snots, "Some of us like Porsche and she's going to be here for a month" before flouncing out. Yes, that's the Rachel I hated last year.
Later, Dominic and Jeff are discussing the vote, and Jeff plays dumb, acting like the vets didn't know what the newbies wanted so they were on their own. Like if anyone had just told the vets how to vote they would have been totally receptive to it. Dominic's too upset about the outcome of the vote to notice that he's being blatantly lied to.
Rachel and Porsche celebrate in the storage room, and talk about Lawon's tearful reaction to Keith's eviction. Rachel tells Porsche all about her visit to the Have-Not room. To her credit, her account is more or less factually accurate. The only thing she gets wrong is in thinking it made her look cool. On the other hand, she has cemented her alliance with Porsche by telling her the other newbies all hate her.
Daniele thanks Kalia in a whisper, and asks who the other vote to evict Keith was. Kalia says everyone on her side thinks it was Adam. Because when there's a rat-vote, it's never the actual rat that people suspect.
Speaking of rats, Shelly visits Adam, advising him to ditch his partner Dominic and make a deal with the veterans, who are clearly going to be allowed to run this house until there no one left but them. She's DRs that she's trying to make him feel better, since she was the other one who flipped. The problem is that in soothing her guilty conscience, she tells Adam to stop trusting Dominic. Meanwhile, Dominic is telling Cassi that he's done trusting Adam, and he thinks that Adam already made a deal. They both agree that they can trust Shelly, however, who is currently telling Adam to throw Dominic under the proverbial bus. Adam gets the message. And Cassi is telling Dominic to go make his own deal. Dominic figures he's on his own, and that now his only hope is to go through Daniele. Wait, what?
Dominic wastes no time, going right to Daniele to say he doesn't trust any of the other newbies. They flirt. That's it.
Rachel's doing dishes. Cassi joins her at the sink. And there's a long, awkward silence. Rachel's uncomfortable about it, but Cassi's whole point is to show she's not intimidated. "Long day," she smiles at her nemesis. Advantage: Cassi.
Opening of Jordan's HoH room, which at this point has to include a clip from at least one person who hates having to go up there (Dominic in this case). Jordan reads her letter from home, which is pretty dull. Shelly's looking forward to her letter from her family. Yeah, I think she'll be seeing them in person long before that happens.
Everyone's hanging out in the backyard. Brendon comes out in his superhero outfit from the last PoV competition and mugs for the cameras. Dominic joins in with the little show so he can suck up. I'm sure their little performance is quite entertaining for people locked in a house with nothing to do, but I don't need to see it.
Adam, who now considers the newbie alliance officially DOA, decides to approach Jordan and Jeff to make a deal. Adam admits that he voted to evict Porsche, but now he doesn't want to go home. He says his initial alliance fell apart, but if he gets the Golden Key this week he'll be grateful. Jeff doesn't seem entirely convinced, since he remembers how Adam lied to them about how he planned to vote last week. But THIS week Adam means it.Meanwhile, Dominic is working on Daniele, who is offering to help him. He rightly asks why she would do that, since he has nothing to offer her... except whatever he can do to eventually protect her from her fellow veterans, when the time comes. Eventually, after all, the two couples are going to turn on her. What neither of them is saying is that by that point there won't be a newbie left in the house anyway. "Stranger things have happened in the Big Brother house," she singsongs, like she's trying to get into a promo clip.
Jeff, Jordan, and Rachel are talking about who they think is running the newbie alliance. Jeff thinks it's Dominic, but Rachel thinks it's Cassi, for no other reason I can tell than that she doesn't like Cassi. So we can see how long Rachel's resolve to not play this season emotionally has lasted.
Time for the Have/Have-Not competition. Jordan comes out in a big ant costume. As a reminder to everyone, HoH Jordan, her partner Jeff, and Golden Key holders Porsche and Daniele are automatically Haves for the week. Everyone else heads out in giant, two-person "ant costumes" (actually just plus-sized black coveralls with big red ant-asses attached to the back) that they have to share. The backyard has been turned into a giant picnic blanket. All they'll have to do is race across the blanket and carry large Styrofoam crumbs back to their anthills. The first duo to move four of them gets to pick two other pairs to be this week's Have-Nots. The competition goes about as smoothly as you'd expect, with the partners falling all over each other, crawling through large cans, and getting sprayed in the face with ketchup and mustard. Brandon and Rachel take an early lead, with Adam and Dominic in second place and Shelly and Cassi in third. Adam and Dominic both do a lot of DRing about how uncomfortable it was for both of them. Yes, we know, you're NOT GAY. Lawon and Kalia are in last place, and miserable on top of it. The rankings are hold up throughout, and Rachel and Brendon win handily. At this point, Kalia's having a meltdown, trapped in a can with Lawon on top of her in their two-person coverall. Everyone stands around looking worried, because those are the skills they have to deal with situations like this.
They're still there after the ads. Eventually a Big Brother medic comes out to cut them both out of the costume. Kalia admits in the DR that her tears were mostly from fear, but she's better now and will be back to her antics. Get it? ANTics?
Brendan names Dominic/Adam and Cassi/Shelly as the Have-Not's for this week. The Have-Not menu, as decided by America's Vote this week, is jelly beans and jerky on top of the standard slop. "Don't touch them, guys, that's gross," Dominic tells them. Adam's pretty pleased about getting jerky, though, not that he seems able to say so in non-Metal language. best thing to bacon, I guess.
Dominic goes into the HoH room to talk to Jeff and Jordan. He says he wants to make a deal with them, since he can't trust any of the other newbies, including his own partner. They just kind of stare at him and let him hang before laying it down and saying he has to vote their way. "Or you could go home now and not worry about that," Jeff says. Cold! Dominic says all he can offer is his loyalty, and all he can get in return is having to trust them. Jordan DRs that she still doesn't trust Dominic, thinking he's the erstwhile newbie leader, but they wrap things up like it was a good talk.
to visit them is Cassi, and Jeff says he doesn't know who "we're" putting up, like he's also HoH and not just Jordan, which is pretty much accurate. They exchange reassurances, up to and including Cassi agreeing to put up other new people if that's what Jeff and Jordan want. She also wants that to be kept a secret. Another good talk. Interesting how the only newbies not scrambling are the ones who've already flipped. Come on, newbies, just look at which of your former allies aren't freaking out and that'll tell you who's not on your side any more.
Later in the HoH room, Jeff and Jordan are suggesting booting Dominic, and Daniele makes the case for keeping Dominic, since he's "easy to manipulate" and Cassi is "causing drama." She doesn't mention that she likes flirting with Dominic, which I suspect is her real motivation. Daniele seems to sway Jeff, but Jordan is still thinking. Or about to fall asleep. They look the same on her.
It's Nomination Day, and Jordan has to pick a duo to nominate. Adam thinks he's about to be nominated. Shelly DRs that she's been working both sides. "Things change on a dime here. You're never safe. Ever." Dominic is hoping that he might have saved himself by talking to the veterans. Cassi doesn't think any of the "petty ridiculousness" between her and Rachel will affect Jordan. Jordan, meanwhile, is torn between her alliance and her gut. I'm glad her head didn't come into the debate, because that couldn't lead anywhere good with her. "I'm gonna go with what I think is best for me and Jeff," she VOs She calls everyone in for the nominations. With everyone sitting around the table, Jordan hauls in the giant key box. As we know, she and Jeff are safe, as are Daniele and Porsche with their Golden Keys. Not nominated are Brendon/Rachel, Shelly/Cassi, and Kalia/Lawon. That leaves Adam and Dominic as the nominees, and Jordan tells them it's strategic, since she doesn't know where their heads are. Well, it looks like she nominated the only pair that didn't cast a vote to keep Porsche.
Jordan DRs that she doesn't care if anyone's mad at her; she's going with her gut. Adam is hoping for the best, "But if Jordan is lying to me, I have no faith in society." Dominic vows to fight in the DR .Or rather, he vows in the DR to fight, and take Adam down if he needs to. At this point, either one of them could go and I don't think anyone in the house would care either way. It might just come down to exactly how much Daniele wants to keep her flirting partner around.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.