Dressed as a hospital bed, Julie tells us it's Day 41, and déjà vu all over again, with a showmance on the railroad tracks for the second week in a row. Either Brendon or Rachel is being evicted tonight, and will become the first juror. Good job waiting so long to get rid of them, Matt.
We flash back to Britney's Veto meeting that marked the beginning of Brendon's reign of (intentional) dickitude. Or, in other words, his campaign to purposely act like as much of an ass as Rachel can't stop herself from being. Ragan calls Brendon a Neanderthal, and Brendon Diary Rooms that he wanted Rachel to stay in the game. "This girl could be my wife, could be the mother of my children." The rest of us should be so lucky. Rachel pulls him into the storage room to say she doesn't know whether to be angry or happy. And back in the DR, Brendon cops to being an idiot for giving up half a million dollars for someone he loves. Yeah, Brendon, that's not the part that makes you an idiot.
Rachel goes to Britney, who tells her she made a terrible mistake associating with Brendon. She calls Brendon someone who "hates women," which I guess makes something else that Brendon and Rachel have in common. Rachel plays right along.
Britney goes out to the pool to shit-talk Brendon to Hayden, Enzo and Lane. After she leaves, they congratulate themselves on being the dominant yet secret alliance. Yes, it's easy to do well in the game when there are other people that everyone hates more. The hell of it is, Brendon's plan seems to be working, and Ragan is telling Matt up in the HoH room that Brendon needs to go. Matt seems to agree.
That night, Rachel's hovering to Ragan and Britney while they loll in the hammock, because she's hoping to make friends with people if she's going to stay. Ragan calmly and quietly points out that Rachel has been the center of all the drama in the game, and even calls her -- gasp -- "not a good sport." Stung, Rachel gets up and walks inside. So Brendon, who witnessed the whole thing from across the yard, comes over to yell at Ragan, who refuses to rise to the bait except to call him a Neanderthal. Brendon corrects his pronunciation, and Britney gets up laughing, while Brendon starts yelling indiscriminately at everyone, storming inside while exchanging taunts with Britney, like those two are going to start throwing punches at each other.
Enzo and Hayden are discussing Brendon's behavior, and Hayden floats the idea of keeping him around because everyone will be after him for a whole other week. But as Enzo points out, it's also dangerous to keep a competitor like Rachel around. Well, whatever they decide, I'm sure the opposite will happen and then they'll take credit for orchestrating it.
Big Brother calls Ragan to the Diary Room, which won't seem suspicious at all. Ragan reads a few suggestions and settles on spreading the rumor that the person who gets voted out won't leave.
Saboteur message! He tells everyone that the vote doesn't matter, because the person voted out might not go. "True love does conquer all," he says. Brendon and Rachel are of course thrilled, and it gives Rachel a chance to DR about all the houseguests who are trying to "get between me and my man," because it's Thursday. They celebrate in the bedroom while the rest of the houseguests speculate on what kind of power the showmance might have. And Ragan just smirks at all of them. "Thank you for the awesome suggestion, America," he DRs happily.
Group Chenterview. They get to watch clips of the HoH competition, and Julie asks Matt if it was a tough decision to open Pandora's Box. Matt says it wasn't, "because I have no impulse control, but the risk was definitely not worth the reward." On to Kathy, about whom Julie brings up Kathy's refusal to apologize to Rachel. Kathy sticks to her guns. Julie moves on to announce that it's the halfway point in the game, and asks everyone who is the most underestimated player. Almost everyone picks Ragan, including Ragan. Well, that was awkward and pointless. And if there's a consensus on who is most underestimated, doesn't that mean the person in question isn't underestimated at all?
Shall we meet Brendon's ex-fiancée? Before we do, we see him lying in bed with Rachel and being a big old drama queen. Cut to Brendon's ex-fiancee's house, where Candice is watching with her parents, reveling in the moment where Brendon tells Rachel he loves her and she dodges his kiss. She says they were engaged for six months, but she dumped him for always trying to change her. And all that stuff he's always saying to Rachel? She's heard it all before from him. Candice's mother Mia says Brendon lived with them for eight months (AAAARGH!) and talks about how emotional and dramatic he is, and how grateful she is that he didn't marry her daughter. Then we get to see a clip we've never seen before about Brendon and Rachel arguing about Vegas, and how much Brendon hates it while it's what Rachel's all about. Candice warns Rachel that it's always all about Brendon, so look out. Except that Candice is pulling for Rachel, so does that call everything else she said into question? Naaah.
Julie switches back to the living room for the final plea speeches. Rachel thanks everyone and spends most of her time addressing Brendon, like he can vote for her. Brendon stands up and starts right in, calling Matt a liar and telling everyone that Big Brother is supposed to be about being... well, Brendon, basically. Then he starts talking about Rachel, and actually has the nerve to compare himself and Rachel to the victims of the Salem witch trials. Classy as always. But not at all dramatic.
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Enzo is the first to vote, and he votes to evict Rachel, so that tells us all we need to know. Britney votes to evict "tequila vomit hundred-dollar bills Rachel," whatever that means. Kathy votes the same way, and so does Ragan, saying, "He got the witch part right." So Rachel's done. Just for shits and giggles, we get to see Lane and Hayden vote out Rachel, making it unanimous. But the unhappy couple will get to spend the commercial break together before she has to leave.
Julie breaks the news to the house, and Rachel gets up and walks to the door without a word or even a look to anyone but Brendon. She hugs and kisses him by the door and whispers something into his ear that we won't hear until Sunday, and out she goes into the studio.
Inside the house, Brendon warns everyone to be ready. Enzo also whispers something to Brendon that doesn't seem unfriendly. Just hedging his bets, probably.
Out in the studio, Rachel tells Julie she isn't shocked, because she knew everyone else was scared of her. Julie comments on Rachel's lack of comment during her exit, and Rachel says she had nothing else to say. If only that had been true earlier in the game. Julie asks Rachel why Brendon's plan didn't work, and she sticks to her story that they're scared of her, and has suddenly decided that she's shocked after all. What about her future with Brendon? Rachel giggles that she'll probably move to L.A, and they'll make it work. That sound was Candice no longer being on Team Rachel. If they're on The Amazing Race in the spring, I quit.
In the farewell messages, Matt tries to cut Rachel slack for being "sucked into the Brendon vortex," but then wrecks it by calling her bitchy and moody at times and saying "I don't know if that's a female thing." Charming. Enzo says he sometimes wished they were on the same team. I bet he did. But Enzo, you picked the teams, so live with it. Britney mocks Rachel and her hair extensions, braying, "Who wants to see me go into the Jury House, wooo!" and Rachel barely cracks a smile. Hayden tells her that if the showmance that got her kicked out of the house is real, it's going to be worth more than half a million dollars. I would have loved to see the goodbyes from everyone if Rachel wasn't going to be on the jury. Brendon tearfully vows to take out everyone who was mean to her. And Julie gives Rachel her muted sendoff, hinting that she may see the Big Brother house again. Oh, marvelous. I hope it's nothing more than a conjugal visit. Off-camera.
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HoH competition. Everyone is attached to a different-colored rope, which is tangled through a huge grid that they'll need to cross. First one to get to the end of the course with their untangled rope wins HoH. Before giving them the go signal, Julie adds that the HoH will also be able to name three Have-Nots for the week. Then they go. Feathers start raining from overhead, just to keep things as silly as possible and to stay in keeping with some vague farm theme. I don't know.
After the break, Julie tells us that we'll learn who wins HoH on Sunday (because it's not looking like anyone is going to finish before the credits), and reminds us that Matt still has the Diamond Power of Veto for one more week. Then she switches channels back to the house and cues a rainstorm before we get to watch the houseguests making their painfully slow progress. But for what it's worth, Brendon seems to have a narrow lead, and Kathy is somewhere near the starting line, way back on the horizon. Oh noes, another HoH competition that ends in a suspenseful cliffhang-zzzzzzzz
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M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
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