So HoH Hayden nominated Brendon and Rachel for eviction, as you may remember. On Day 4, Brendon and Rachel react to this development by going off by themselves. Brendon correctly realizes that he's the real target, and Rachel just got dragged in for being close to him. Annie comes in to talk about how shocked she is, and then Lane -- part of the alliance that put them up, mind you -- comes in as well to avert any suspicion that he was in on it. Which he was. Enter Enzo, purportedly to grab his sweater, while the nominees go on speculating about who put Hayden up to it. Enzo glares suspiciously at Annie for her sympathy with Rachel and Brendon, or just because suspicious glaring is his default expression.
That night, three-fourths of the Brigade (Hayden, Enzo, and Lane) meet outside to gloat, and so Enzo can tell them Annie's aligned with Brendon and Rachel. It's like he's playing a game that's three weeks further along. They try to play it cool when Annie joins them, but since they can't think of a single thing to say to each other in front of her, it's not really convincing. Except to Annie, of course.
Brendon whines to Rachel about how much he hates having to deal with ignorant people. Well, he certainly came to the right place, then. Rachel offers to take him off the block if she wins PoV. He politely says he can't let her do that, and asks her out for after the game. Up come the blankets, so they can make out in "private."
Meanwhile, everyone else is in the kitchen, hooting and staring as the two nominees go about their business under the blanket. Hayden DRs that the target on their back is getting bigger. Wouldn't that be two targets, for the two backs?
morning, Brendon makes his approach to Hayden, and says that since he can't campaign against Rachel, he plans to win Power of Veto. Which, he threatens, will put Hayden in a difficult position. Now for the carrot: Brendon says he wants to go to the final two with Hayden, and adds for no real reason that he trusts Annie. Hayden says he'll think about it, but he's already decided to get either Brendon, Rachel, or now Annie out of the house. Smooth move there, Brendon.
>For the PoV competition, there are going to be six players, as always. HoH Hayden and nominees Rachel and Brendon are playing automatically, and both of the latter two plan to take Brendon off the block if they win. Hayden draws Enzo's name, which strengthens the Brigade's position in the competition -- at least numerically. Brendon draws the name of Andrew, the wild card. The person Rachel draws is Monet, who doesn't exactly seem like a power player. Can you spell "nonentity" without "Monet?" Well, yes, but you can't spell "monentity." In the DR, Monet is so irritated at Rachel's eye-rolling reaction that she wants to "use her big boobs as punching bags."
Hayden, Matt, and Enzo discuss the upcoming PoV in the HoH room, saying that their best-case scenario is for Monet to win, because that way she'll probably leave the nominations alone and the Brigade's hands will be relatively clean. And in the unlikely event that Brendon saves himself, they agree that they want Rachel to leave -- so they decide to put Kathy up as the pawn, if it comes to that. Which Enzo is sure it won't. Which means it will.
Brendon decides to have another talk with Hayden to see where he is. Hayden tries to play Hamlet, but soon cracks and says he'd probably leave the nominations the same way if he wins. Brendon advises Hayden to think long-term. "Guarantee they're gunning for you, man," he warns, although he doesn't say who "they" are. "If I come off PoV and I'm not on your side..." So that's another threat. Brendon DRs that Hayden made a dumb move, and a big enemy. You know, as long as Brendon wins PoV. Which he now knows he has to do.
Time for the PoV competition, which Rachel describes as a "piñata siesta." I think she means "fiesta," but that Freudian slip may be more accurate than she suspects. Enzo is just looking forward to smashing something. Annie, as host for the competition, tells the houseguests that for this "Cinco de May-o" competition, the piñatas are full of not candy, but "rotten mayonnaise." Oh, awesome. I was afraid there might not be three episodes in a row where everyone got covered with condiments. They'll need to take piñatas to a "smashing station" (actually a stump with a baseball bat), then dig letter cards out of the goo and use them to spell letters. They've got ten minutes, so we're about to see the full limits of their respective vocabularies.
The smashing begins, and it's gross and smelly and the people who aren't competing are required to sit close enough to get splashed with it, just because Big Brother is mean. Everyone who's playing DRs about their motivation for winning, and their strategy, neither of which is surprising or interesting. Andrew does say that mayonnaise is kosher, so that's good news for him. As the clock runs down, people start spelling with the letter's they've collected. Rachel's close to spelling "chemistry," her "go-to" word, which she tells us that she even knows how to spell. But she has to go back and find more letters first. Monet is the first to lock in her word, followed by Rachel, and everyone else cuts it pretty close, with less than 20 seconds left. The buzzer goes off, so it's time to reveal the results.
Hayden spelled "possible," and correctly, no less. Enzo spelled "factory," also correctly, but it's only seven letters. "That's why there's only one Brains in this operation,." Matt quips in he DR. Rachel spelled "chemistry" correctly, so she's in the lead. Rachel DRs that she wanted to say she picked that word because that's what she and Brendon have, but kept it to herself because she thought the other houseguests would "get mad." If she means "throw up," she's probably right. In the DR, Britney isn't fooled by Rachel's scientist persona, which Rachel appears to have managed to keep secret for less than a week: "She makes her money right here," Britney says contemptuously, pointing to her chest. Really? Well, if it's true that Rachel's found a way to monetize Britney's boobs, we have to give her some credit. Monet spells "cheaters" correctly, but that's only eight letters. Brendon unveils his word "understanding," so that's 13 letters. "My last hope is down to the Captain Kosher," Hayden says, referring to Andrew. But Andrew came up with "pastuerized," a misspelled word with only eleven letters. So that's the PoV win that Brendon needed. "Hayden, you should have taken that deal. Now I'm coming for you." Andrew DRs that he threw the competition, because everyone already thinks he's the saboteur. But didn't he just sabotage himself? As for Hayden, he realizes he's screwed. Which is the most intelligence he's shown so far.
In the HoH room, Enzo and Matt agree that this was a "blunder," so now they have to figure out their move. They agree that it's risky to put up Kathy -- she might go home, leaving the other three-person alliance of Annie, Rachel, and Brendon intact. So they decide to back-door Annie. Enzo says it's a "bold move," and now's the time, before anyone knows about the Brigade. Hey, I think another way to make sure nobody knows about the Brigade is to STOP TALKING ABOUT THE BRIGADE.
After the ads, Matt and Enzo tell Hayden the new the plan, and Enzo rather overstates the case, calling Annie the best player in the house. Enter Britney, and they tell her the plan, but agree that no one else needs to know.
Later, Annie finds Britney and Monet in the HoH room, and they talk about how nobody's safe. As Monet gets up for a drink, Britney tips Annie off a little bit about Hayden's suspicions, just in case it helps her later. Annie decides she needs to go find out what's up right now, from Hayden. So she goes downstairs to pull Hayden into a one-on-one. Hayden admits that talk of her alliance with Brendon is going around, and asks who told her. Annie rolls right over on Britney, and wonders who's been talking to Hayden about it. She adds that she doesn't trust Monet or Britney. Hayden promises, "Tomorrow, things will sort themselves out." Annie seems to take that as reassurance rather than what it really is, which is Hayden telling her, "Pack."
In the storeroom, Hayden talks about the plan to Lane, who Lane has his own idea to put up Kathy and get rid of Annie later. Hayden tries to make up is mind. Man, it's tough being in the strongest alliance in Big Brother history.
Everyone is outside, talking about the conspicuous absence of the saboteur. Speak of the devil -- the scrambled figure appears on the big screen and everyone gathers in the living room to hear its latest message. The saboteur breaks this news: "Two of you are actually lifelong friends. And if you think about it, it's actually quite easy to figure out." Which means nobody will figure it out. The screen goes blank, and everyone looks at each other suspiciously. Brendon draws further suspicion on himself by suggesting that the saboteur is simply lying. Which he wouldn't say if he were the saboteur, but he would if he were lifelong friends with someone else in the house. Britney thinks it's Brendon and Kristen (and it seems to me like it's probably Kristen and someone, because she's been practically invisible), but Kristen DRs that she thinks it's Matt and Annie. Andrew, always the wild card, thinks it's Matt and Ragan and they're actually in a relationship (even though we know Matt is married to a woman). Out of nowhere, Andrew suddenly stands up and freaks out, saying none of them are his friends. And why? "Nobody knows anything about Judaism, except maybe him," he says, pointing to Ragan. What? Not helping yourself, Andrew. Hayden wonders if Kathy is Britney's mom (they are both blonde and from Arkansas) or if it's Andrew and Kristen, because they're "so different." That's certainly a solid theory. "I have no clue what's going on," he sums up. Which is not news, but it's accurate. My theory: the saboteur is one of the nominees and likely evicted this week, which means Big Brother is scrambling for another twist that won't fizzle out in three episodes.
Brendon DRs about how it's hard for him to take himself off the black and leave Rachel behind, but it's what he's got to do. Kathy says she "desperately" doesn't want to go. Annie accuses Britney of stirring the pot" "I don't trust that girl with a ten foot pole," she DRs. Are we sure Annie isn't the chemist? She sure has a knack for mixing metaphors.
Brendon convenes the veto meeting, and gives Rachel a chance to explain why he should save her, just to go through the motions. Rachel tells him to do what he has to do. Brendon acts like he's about to surprise everyone, but then toolishly says he's decided to use the veto on "myself!!" Nobody laughs. Now it's up to Hayden to choose a replacement nominee. And its...Annie. She goes and sits to Rachel, and deflects Hayden's apology, making a remark about "lies" and "webs...Britney." The meeting ends. How'd that play with Annie work out for you there, Britney?
Annie DRs about being pissed, but says she isn't going anywhere. And she totally blames Britney, which is the one thing the Brigade has done right so far. Or, more accurately, the one thing they've done less wrong than someone else, namely Britney. "I'm tired of that stupid skank," Britney DRs. "Now I get off scotch-free [sic] because now everybody knows that Annie is completely loony." Well, Britney might have a point there. Now we're in familiar Big Brother territory, where people are hating each other for the wrong reasons. Which is not to say they shouldn't hate each other, because they should. It's only the reasons for the hating that I question.
Rachel blares that she's happy for Brendon, and all they have to do is "fight so I can stay in the house." Hayden says either Annie or Rachel needs to go -- which I think not even the Brigade could screw up at this stage -- and that all that matters is keeping the Brigade secret and strong. Um, okay.
Tomorrow (meaning tonight, by the time you read this), there'll be an eviction, and we'll learn the identity of the saboteur. Live! Damn you, live!
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
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