It's day 13, and Ronnie has just named Laura and Jeff for the second round of nominations: Two weeks in, and there are still twelve people in there. I don't think we're all gong to make it. The nominees Diary-Room separately that Ronnie has now exposed himself as the rat, although Ronnie is still claiming that he's planning to backdoor Russell. Which is not ratlike at all.
In the Have-Not bedcube that is the "Popular" clique's home for the week, Laura and Jordan talk about this new development, and cry. Well, mostly cry. Jordan in particular is taking this very personally. Why does this keep happening to her?
The other nominee, Jeff, is talking to Lydia when Ronnie comes in and hugs him. Lydia makes herself scarce. As Jeff trims his own hair at the sink, Ronnie assures him he has a plan. Jeff doesn't want to hear it, because nothing he's heard has been true anyway. Ronnie agrees, probably to give Jeff plausible deniability.
Ronnie then comes out to the backyard give similar assurances to Laura, in front of Casey, claiming he doesn't actually want either of his nominees to go home. Laura pretends to believe him, but when he leaves, Laura tells Casey and Jordan that she knows exactly what he's up to: covering his ass in case she wins the Power of Veto. She really is smarter than she looks, even if she is wrong about Ronnie right now.
Russell has decided to be less insular with his own clique, and tries to make friends with the other side of the house to try to gain their trust. He pretends that he's just there because he's tired of playing the game and wants to kick back with some fresh folks, and Casey, Jordan, Jeff and Laura seem to buy it. But then, when he goes inside and sees Natalie and Michele talking teammates and loyalty, he asks if they're still talking about the game. From elsewhere in the house, Lydia kind of snippily calls out that she (and Kevin and Chima and Jessie) are talking about something in her life. Russell screams at her for thinking he was addressing her, shocking everyone in earshot (in other words, everyone). Lydia gets up, but to cry in the hallway and the Diary Room instead of to confront Russell. Five points to Russell for the idea of expanding his appeal within the house. Negative twelvety-hundred and infinity points on the execution.
Exhibit A is Natalie going to Jessie, expressing her concern about who Russell's going to blow up at , and suggesting he needs to be backdoored. Has she been talking to Ronnie?
In the HoH room, Lydia cries to Ronnie over what Russell did earlier, and proposes backdooring him. Ronnie sighs, like he can't even think about such a paradigm-busting option right now. But when Kevin joins the conversation, he pretends to start considering it.
In case you've been worried that you might just be assuming Jordan is dumb just because of the way she looks and acts, this scene should make you feel better: we learn that she can't tell time. Jeff tries to help her work through it, but ends up going down the rabbit hole with her. I mean, maybe she's not the only person in the English-speaking world who doesn't know that there are four quarters in an hour, but she's probably the only one who thinks the actual number is in the double digits. The scene ends with the sound of a literal muted trumpet, literally going, "wah, wah waaaah." Which is good, because if it hadn't I would have had to add it.
Casey and Chima head up to the HoH room for the viewing of The Ugly Truth that they "won." I have to say, the impressive selection of food and beverages laid out for them, including margaritas, would make up for a lot of bad movie for me. Just turn the sound down until my fifth 'grita and I can sit through anything short of the Star Wars Holiday Special, and even then I might stick it out if I don't have to watch with Ronnie. [I can only imagine that the Star Wars Holiday Special is hilarious when drunk. - Zach] They watch the movie, then carry as many snacks as they can hold out of there. Net positive, I guess.
Time to draw the names for the Power of Veto competition. Jeff and Laura are both motivated to win the Veto, as you might imagine. Ronnie draws Russell, who is smug about it. Laura draws Natalie, and Jeff draws Casey. Ronnie names Lydia as the host. Ronnie DRs that having Russell in the competition might make backdooring him problematic, and Russell in the DR is wise enough to realize that he'd better win to keep themselves safe. In related news, Russell has shaved his beard into a riverboat gambler mustache, in what I can only assume is a transparent effort to suck up to the "Offbeat" clique.
The houseguests head outside for the PoV competition. As host, Lydia explains the game. There are piles of different denominations of coins all over, and what everyone has to do for each round is grab bucketfuls of them in two minutes and pour them into a waiting CoinStar machine to get a pre-specified amount. In each round, the person who's the farthest off from that number gets eliminated, and the person who's closest gets to pick from three unmarked bags, one of which contains a $5,000 prize, one a slop pass, and the third nothing. If you pick a bag, you keep what's inside, but then you're out of the game. I sense Big Brother is not going to be unloading a lot of bags this time around.
In the first round, they're asked to gather $100 in quarters. I find myself wishing Jordan had been chosen to play this game, only because I'm curious to see how many quarters she thinks are in a dollar. Everyone runs to the quarter pile, which is also being augmented by quarters dropping from above as the round goes on. A moment later everyone's squatting on the ground, counting as fast as they can. At the end of the round, when the money's counted up, Natalie overshot it by $460.50. Russell was only over by $79.25. Casey's in the lead with only a $61.50 overage, Laura passed it by $243.50, and Ronnie eyeballed himself to a $507.75 difference. Michele DRs about what she thinks are Ronnie's shitty competition-throwing skills, when in fact Ronnie just fucked up. It's Jeff who wins the round, having gone only $12.50 over, and Ronnie's out. And embarrassed. Jeff passes up his bag and stays in the game.
For round two, they're supposed to get $75.00 in dimes. Everyone does much better this time, except Laura, who's over by almost $270 and gets her ass eliminated. Jeff wins his second round, coming in at just $5.80 over. Casey calls him. "Rain Man." Jeff passes up the bag yet again.
Round three is for $40 in nickels. After the coins are counted, Casey is eliminated, and Natalie wins and opts to pick a bag. She chooses bag number one, which is a slop pass. Polite applause.
Now it's down to just Russell and Jeff, and they each need to gather $10 in pennies. Russell comes in at $8.59, less than a dollar and a half under the mark, but Jeff wins it with $10.97, less than a dollar over. And this ain't The Price Is Right. Jeff is glad to have proven himself, and Russell puts his head down and looks defeated. Although he then blusters in the DR, "If Ronnie decides to put me up that'll be the dumbest move of his life." A) Russell doesn't explain why this is the case, and B) How many dumbest moves can Ronnie make, anyway?
But it looks like Ronnie's master plan to backdoor Russell is working out after all. Up in HoH, he has a convo with Lydia, Kevin and Chima about backdooring Russell, and warns them that if they do it, there's no going back. Because Russell's a hair-trigger who's liable to twist all their heads off if they take a run at him and miss. Then Laura joins the group, and they retreat all the way into the HoH bathroom to let her in on the plan. Which Ronnie maybe shouldn't have done without knowing what Laura would have been prepared to offer him, which is just about anything. He does extract a promise that she won't put him up if he saves her by booting Russell, with the other three as his witnesses. Laura agrees, not because she trusts Ronnie, but because she doesn't, and won't feel bound to anything she promises him. Which is also valid. Did she get brain implants after the first few days of this game?
Ronnie and Chima then present the idea to Natalie, who's on board, but doesn't think Jessie will be. Ronnie sends her down to get him, as Lydia joins them. Jessie doesn't love the idea, but promises to support whatever they decide. Ronnie does a DR interview in which he says he doesn't want to look back on this week as a missed opportunity to backstab Russell before Russell backstabbed him. I don't know how he manages to refrain from bringing up Han Solo and Greedo.
Veto meeting. Jeff announces that he's using the PoV on himself, without even giving Laura a chance to make her case. Poor form. Ronnie is called upon to select a replacement nominee, as per the plan, and everything that has led up to this moment since his nominations on Sunday. Sure enough, up goes... Jordan? WTF? She gets up and sits down in the nominee chair to Laura. So much for the Popular clique.
Jordan interviews that she was blindsided by Ronnie. Not that I was expecting this myself, but I kind of suspect that all of Jordan's sides are blind. Laura gives her latest DR interview in which she repeats for the umpteenth time everything Ronnie says is a lie, and claims, also for the umpteenth time, "Two can play at this game." Why is Ronnie the only one playing, then? In case you're like me and are wondering what's going on inside Ronnie's little round head, Ronnie explains himself to us: Jordan's on the block because everyone likes her, and that'll get Laura out of the house. "Laura definitely is a lot smarter than people give her credit [sic]. She's catching on to me." He says Jessie was right about this not being Russell's time. As for Jeff, he's feeling guilty for saving himself, now that his galpal is on the block. As for Jessie, he just wants Laura to go home. We'll see on Thursday, won't we?
And after the credits, Ronnie tells us in the DR about one more victory he gets to enjoy: "These quarters were caught in my butt-cheeks! I may have lost the competition, but I came out $1.25 richer." You think so, Ronnie? You think there's a cashier, retailer, or swap-meet vendor who will ever take another quarter from you as long as you live?
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see how vlogger Sean Crespo thinks they should reinvigorate the franchise in No Prior Knowledge!
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.