After the 9-1 vote to evict Brian, some of the remaining players discuss their reactions: Dan stuck to his word, even though he now feels like a sore thumb for being the aforementioned "1.". Steven says he felt close to Brian, and had to repress an "emotional outburst" when Brian left. Watch me not insert a joke here that centers around a gay stereotype. Ollie says he feels responsible for Brian's ouster, but his relationship with April is more important than his deal with Brian. Jerry no longer feels any remorse, since he didn't have much choice. And Angie says that now she just has to deal with people who have gotten on her nerves. Tell me about it, Angie. I'm looking at a whole season of that no matter what the outcome. Libra is just happy that her biggest threat in the house is gone. Jessie says something bitchy about Brian looking better in black and white, with whiter teeth and blacker hair. Hey, at least Brian owns a shirt. Renny says that her son told her not to be the first one evicted, so her major goal in this game is already accomplished. Congratulations!
Later, around the kitchen table, Jerry tells everyone about Julie asking him about "betraying" Brian during the HoH Chenterview. Jessie says it wasn't a betrayal, and Jerry again tells the world about how he wasn't wearing anything military-related when he did it. So of course now the entire house knows to watch their backs whenever Jerry mothballs the Marine gear. By this point, the military is like, "Dude, wear what you want, just shut the fuck up about it." Or maybe that's just me. Dan DRs that civvies or no, Jerry still broke his word. Back at the table, Renny says something about Jerry needing to be more careful about giving his military oath in this game, and Jerry, offended, says that not only did he never do that, Brian broke his word to Jerry first. So there. Jerry stomps off grumpily, leaving Renny wearing her default expression, which is "What'd I do now?"
Now to deal with the fallout from Jessie's HoH win. Jessie is looking forward to lording it over Renny, of course. Keesha derides April for jumping into the victorious Jessie's arms, calling her a "Barbie bitch." And Angie is regretting campaigning on behalf of Brian. Renny's reaction to her nemesis being in power: "It is what it is." Steven noticed that people started gravitating to Jessie as soon as he won, and that the house is already splitting up between people who did and didn't like Brian.
In the storage room, Jessie and Memphis crow about his big win, and then he joins Libra, Michelle, and Ollie for a quiet little celebration that they break up the moment Angie comes in. As for Dan, he is ready to be nominated, and warns Steven that he might be a target as well (spoiler!).
Libra and April strategize in the bedroom. They mention Steven and Angie as ideal nominees for their purposes, but they remember that Jessie hates Renny. Michelle joins the conversation, and is on board with the plan.
Jessie shows off his HoH room, which is full of bodybuilding photos of him that he points out to everyone in loving detail. Literally, he's, like, drawing their attention to fibers and shit. After a few minutes of this, they notice on the HoH monitor that Steven didn't come up, and is in fact hanging out down in the kitchen. Well, perhaps he just doesn't trust himself. That kind of puts a damper on the festivities, and after the party breaks up, the only ones left up there with Jessie are Libra, April, Michelle, Memphis, and Ollie. Jessie says right off that he plans to nominate Renny. Everyone piles on him about what a dumb idea that is. And hey, they've just noticed that they're missing an alliance member. Where's Keesha? Downstairs, complaining to Angie about April. And back upstairs, Jessie still has his hard-on for nominating Renny, but his friends are all on the Anybody But Renny train. I wouldn't have expected that train to be so crowded.
In the backyard, Jerry divulges to Angie and Libra that his wife has Parkinson's, and he has sworn to never put her in a nursing home no matter what. How does his going away for three months fit into that plan? Before long, all three of them are sitting there crying, and Jerry DRs that he's going to stick with his wife until the end. As soon as he gets back from being on TV for three months.
Steven is apparently out of the closet in the house. We see him discussing it with Dan and Keesha, and he DRs that as far as he knows, everyone n the house knows and hasn't said anything to him. Steven talks to Dan and Keesha about it and thus becomes Dan's First Gay Friend. I'm not going to recap the whole thing with Steven calmly answering questions and Dan becoming less ignorant through exposure to a real live gay, because if you've ever seen reality television before you know how it goes.
Angie asks for a one-on-one with Jessie in the HoH room. She says she doesn't want there to be weirdness between them, and Jessie self-righteously accuses her of aligning herself with Brian like it was some heinous crime. The longer she tries to talk to him reasonably and calmly, the pissier he gets. He should really stop boasting about how he's a 100% natural body builder, because if he were on steroids at least he would have an excuse for the way he acts all the time.
Steven and Keesha talk about their love for their animals, and Steven starts freaking her out by talking about what it would be like to come home to a dog that has forgotten you or died. I think Steven might actually turn out to be a pretty decent stealth player in this cast.
Jessie comes into the living room sporting a beret, a big fake mustache, and the worst French accent ever to announce the food competition. They're going to be splitting up into teams: the "chardonnay-nays" and the "pinot no-wah-wahs." He throws out a stack of green berets and a stack of red ones for everyone to grab, and ends up on the green team himself. The teams don't seem to be split up by alliances, and in fact April and Libra are kind of grumpy about having the oldsters Renny and Jerry on their team. Keesha DRs about how Libra and April need to quit bitching about their teammates, which actually carries some weight because Keesha's on that team too. Everyone changes into color-coded shorts (and jogging bras, where appropriate, except for Jessie) and goes out to the backyard to listen to Jessie explain the rules for the competition. It involves trying to plug holes in your team's wine cask while the opposing team tries to fill their bottle with wine leaking from said cask, and is needlessly complicated. I came to this conclusion even without trying to decipher the rules through Jessie's atrocious French accent.
The competition begins, and after several minutes of people running around, throwing corks, and trying to fill wine bottles, it becomes clear that green has a strategy, whereas red does not. April in particular sucks, but Renny is a standout for red, because she knows how to handle wine. In the end, green wipes the floor with red. April and Libra in particular are pissed off at having lost, and Steven and Keesha enjoy watching the two of them snipe at each other in the ugly aftermath.
Dan asks Jessie if he can visit the HoH bathroom, as a pretext for talking to Jessie alone before the nominations. Dan goes up and watches on the monitor, waiting impatiently for Jessie to come up. But when Jessie finally does, he brings Ollie with him, sending Dan scampering into the head. By the time Dan comes out, Jessie has forgotten even letting Dan go in there, and comments about how long it took him. "Mission failed," Dan DRs, blaming Ollie for screwing up his game again. Plus now everyone in the house thinks he has nervous bowels.
Down in the kitchen, April and Libra are talking to Memphis and trying to figure out what makes him tick. More specifically, why he's so unemotional. I'd say the higher priority is talking Memphis out of growing that riverboat-gambler mustache he's sprouting, and I don't even have to look at it 24-7. Memphis reveals a few stories from his past, specifically the loss of his dad and a bad breakup. He goes on to talk about how he's not an emotional person in general, way longer than any truly unemotional person would ever allow himself to do.
Dan finally gets his solo face time with Jessie, saying that he voted to keep his word and doesn't plan to come after Jessie if he should survive this week. They do a whole mutual respect thing, Dan saying that the loyalty and honesty he showed Brian can now be used for Jessie's advantage. Jessie seems open to that. See, he can be perfectly reasonable as long as you suck up to him in the proper way. Having a penis probably doesn't hurt either.
Nomination day. Angie knows there's a possibility she'll be nominated, and Renny seems to think there's more than a possibility for herself. Dan feels a bit more secure after talking to Jessie, but is wise enough to know that you're never 100% secure in the Big Brother house (which right there makes him a much stronger player than his so-called mentor, Brian). Steven thinks that Jessie will only put him up if other people talked him into it. And Jessie says that of the two nominees he's naming, he's really trying to get only one of them out of the house.
Jessie calls the nomination ceremony. With little fanfare, the nominees turn out to be Dan and Steven. In front of everyone, Jessie says that these two have shown themselves to be against him, and he adds to Steven that he didn't come up to the HoH room, which Jessie considers "disrespectful." Steven makes a lame excuse about being asleep at the time, even though everyone saw him puttering around in the kitchen live. Just own it, Steven. Still, rather than calling him on the lie, Jessie says it took Steven nearly 24 hours to come and pay his respects. Man, look out for Jessie's "You Have Offended Me" clock, everyone.
"Jessie is a tool, in all senses of the word," Steven DRs, astutely saying that Jessie is not only toolish, but is being used as a tool by other players. Dan isn't surprised, but he isn't giving up either. Renny: "Yayyy!" She actually thinks she was passed over for nomination thanks to her "strategy," which was basically to stop being such a pain in the ass. That doesn't seem like it would be something you could consider a "strategy," but then on the other hand I'm always amazed at how few players in this game employ it. Jessie congratulates himself on his nominations, saying he wants Dan in his alliance and Steven out of the house. He even congratulates himself on his strategy. The very last shot, right at the end of the credits, is Jessie noisily sticking a bicep into a camera in the DR room and then bragging, "Couldn't even get all eighteen inches of that in that camera." How can someone that concerned with how he looks be so oblivious to how he looks?
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M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com