So here it is, the eleventh show of the ninth season. How disappointed do you think the producers are that Alex, the 9/11 orphan, got booted last week and isn't here for episode 9-11? I bet they would have made him a cake.
Julie welcomes us to Day 28, and reminds us how much Joshuah hates Allison, that she and Ryan are nominated along with Sheila and Adam (who took the place of self-vetoed Matt and Natalie), and that there's going to be a big twist tonight. I don't really care what it is; I'm just glad that after tonight, it'll be down to eight people from the original sixteen. We're at the halfway point! Whoo!
After the veto meeting, Allison is glad to be up against Sheila, since it's time for them to go their own ways. And Matt is looking forward to being owed a favor by whomever ends up staying tonight thanks to his vote.
Some of them hang out in the backyard, wondering what the siren means and speculating that it's going to go off in the middle of the night. And meanwhile, Natalie and Josh sit up on the mezzanine and have basically the same conversation. It's so interesting to get the identical perspective on a situation from two very different groups of equally stupid people.
Allison and Ryan hang out by the hot tub, and Allison pushes Ryan to go talk to Matt, since she doesn't trust him. So Ryan does that, and Matt assures him that he doesn't need to worry about it. Of course, he says that same thing to Adam, and to Allison, and to Sheila. Matt DRs that this way, whoever stays will be grateful to him. Of course, he'll also have a sworn enemy in the jury house, but he may not be thinking that far ahead.
Satisfied that Matt and Natalie are in the bag, Allison goes to James and Chelsia to beg for their votes. While the other couple snuggles together in the hammock, Allison assures them that Matt is going to vote for her and Ryan, so James and Chelsia won't be left twisting in the breeze.
Which puts James in an awkward position when Sheila says the same thing to James, and reminds him that in the event of a tie, the HoH couple picks the couple to leave. Which means Allison and Ryan needs both of the voting couples on their side, of course. James realizes that Matt is playing both sides, which offends James as someone who hasn't promised anyone anything.
So James decides to put an end to Matt's little game, as he goes out to the pool table to join the other three non-HoH guys. He quickly establishes that Adam and Ryan are both expecting Matt's vote. Matt does some fast talking to try to get himself off the spot, but Ryan and Adam and Sheila look pretty worried. Allison isn't on the scene. Presumably she's working on giving Big Brother a new, even more terrifying makeup-removal shot for the archives.
In the DR, Natalie and Matt discuss whom to boot. Natalie wants to get rid of Allison because she's manipulative, but Matt wants to keep her around to do his dirty work, plus Ryan's his boy. We don't see Natalie try to leverage their disagreement to get herself a massage. When James and Chelsia get their turn to discuss it in the DR, she thinks it might be good strategy to keep Sheila and Adam, but he says they don't deserve to be there. He also affectionately calls her an idiot. They're so in love.
And when we come back, Julie says that when the evicted couple tries to leave, three things will happen. 1) The front doors will lock. 2) The siren will go off. 3) The entire Big Brother house will fill with sarin nerve gas. Alas, I'm making up that last one. The actual third thing is that they'll both have to go back inside, whereupon the couples with SPLIT UP AND PLAY AS INDIVIDUALS FROM NOW ON. Which means we have as much as eight weeks left of this season.
FUCK! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!
Now that Julie has given us this awful news, she turns the viewscreen back on to prepare everyone for the eviction. And it's Ryan and Allison, by a vote of 2-0. They think.
So everyone hugs roughly forever, and Allison goes for the door. It's locked. "Door, please," Ryan calls, and the siren goes off, as promised. Obviously Ryan and Allison are the happiest ones there. Julie gets back on with them to announce that they're not couples any more. Everyone is completely jazzed, except for Sharon, Joshuah, and of course Natalie. And ME. What this means that only Allison or Ryan will be leaving tonight. So now there's going to have to be another vote. Julie wonders to us who will be the first single houseguest evicted. As if we don't already know it's the one who's so excited you can see her uvula.
Julie gives Ryan and Allison one last chance to plead their cases. Ryan mumbles something, and Allison stands, tearfully begging to stay. Well, I doubt that changed anyone's mind.
Adam votes first, and in the Diary Room, he votes to evict Allison. Chelsia is , and she votes the same way. comes Matt, and that's three votes for Allison. Sheila votes for Allison as well, so she's gone. But Natalie's and James's votes make it unanimous.
Julie's really giving that button a workout tonight. And she announces that Allison's been booted 6-0. Allison can't get out of there fast enough, dodging hugs from everyone but Sharon, who basically intercepts her. She leaves everyone behind, so they can commence freaking out over the new dynamic in various ways.
Julie's interview with Allison asks an obvious question: why pretend to have a fake relationship outside the house and make herself a target? Allison makes up something about how it was supposed to be a joke, and just got out of hand. She again says it wasn't her idea, and it wasn't her idea to end it (it was), but anyway, let's go to the farewell messages, which they must have taped in advance, probably with the producers making sure the houseguests addressed each individual member of the departing couple. Matt and Natalie say generic goodbyes, Joshuah lectures her about playing the gay card, and Sheila cries. Julie's last question for Allison is what was the best part. Allison says it was going in without a plan (no shit), and learning more about herself and other people. I learned a lot about Allison, too, and a lot of it wasn't very nice.
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