We learn that, due to some eleventh-hour vote brokering before Wednesday's eviction, the entire house basically decided to switch their votes to Amanda and Alex instead of going with Allison's idea of ousting Matt and Natalie. And who led the revolt? Well, Allison, of course. Between Allison's vote-switching and the "we're lesbians" rumor, Joshuah had it in for Allison. So before the HoH competition, they tried to show how not bothered they were by everything by simply standing around inside wearing sunglasses. Way to play it cool.
So after Joshuah and Sharon win their HoH competition, they have an obnoxious little end-zone celebration. Afterward, Allison is talking to Matt and Adam about the HoH competition, and something she says -- I have no idea what -- sends Joshuah off on one of his fake apoplectic rages, complete with screaming in her face, calling her a bitch, and the ever-popular "ugly." Does he really think it makes the other person look bad when he does this? James comes to break it up, and after the two antagonists are safely separated from each other in different parts of the house, Ryan comes and, rather reasonably, asks Joshuah what it is Allison said to piss him off just now. Joshuah doesn't actually have an answer. Or he does, but it's not like he can say, "Theater!" But later, in the DR, he talks about how offended he was about Allison lying about her sexuality. Fair enough, but...wasn't that, like, a week ago? And how fake is it to wait until you're HoH to go off on somebody for something you've been pissed about for a week or more? A bit later, Allison is talking about the scene with Ryan and Matt in the living room, and Joshuah stomps past with a very threatening manner. Once that particular ray of sunshine has passed, Matt offers Allison a hug, but she's not into it. She would rather rage tearfully in the DR about how she's not going to take this from anyone. Remember that later.
On her way out of the DR to take off her makeup, Allison's spotted by Ryan, who follows her to the sink to tell her that her getting upset is just what Joshuah wants.
Joshuah, meanwhile, is cackling with Natalie and Sheila about how he really didn't say anything that bad to Allison, and a spittle-flecked tirade about how he's going to make her life hell is "nothing." He says that either he's sending her home, or she's sending him. Well, it's good to have a plan.
Later, in the kitchen with Ryan and Allison, Matt offers to talk to Allison about it. Allison is actually now pissed at both of them as well, for not sticking up for her. Even though neither of them was there. She keeps pushing, and Matt asks Ryan, deadpan, "Wanna go slap him around?" Allison is too into her righteous snit to realize that Matt's kidding, and threatens them both, "You'd better never meet my father." Yeah, that dude's got some explaining to do.
Time for the standard "everyone come look at our HoH room" bit, which is unusual only in that Allison goes to bed instead of joining in. And the couple photo of Sharon and Jacob, which she hates. And Joshuah's "Princess for the Day" tiara, sent to him by his coworkers.
And then we get a little more about Joshuah's having taken offense at Allison's lesbian lie, as he holds court about how awful it was of Allison to do that. Which is funny, because one of the people he's bitching to is Sheila, Allison's partner in crime. Sheila, of course. totally throws Allison under the bus, and Joshuah's only too happy to let Sheila off the hook. Could I have mixed those metaphors any worse?
Ryan is sitting and talking with Chelsia when Joshuah comes up and tells him that his partner claimed to be in a lesbian relationship with Sheila, complete with an adoptive son. This is clearly the first Ryan has heard of this, and he's rather annoyed. Can you blame him? It was a stupid, stupid thing to do. After Joshuah leaves, Chelsia takes up the thread of the story, saying that Sheila and Allison kept it up for eleven days That figure's going to fluctuate quite a bit over the remainder of the episode, by the way. But as dumb as Ryan may be, he's smart enough to know that it's made Allison a target. And him as well.
So Ryan confronts Allison, and she says it was a joke; she doesn't care that people are pissed off about it. So we get to continue the season's theme of the men being pissed off at the women for screwing up what would otherwise be a perfect game for them. Ryan's mad that nobody likes Allison because of this, and that she's put him in a bad position. Which is correct, but she turns it around on him, saying that she doesn't want to be in it with him either, if that's how he's going to be. Hey, I just thought of something that would make this show so much better: ejector seats. Especially of we at home were the ones who got to control them.
Matt and Natalie are in bed together, where she's trying to get him to cuddle. He resists for a moment, but they end up making out, briefly. Finally, he cuts it off, saying, "That's all you get." He's still doing the emotionally unavailable thing, telling her not to get attached to him. "Don't get attached to me either," Natalie whispers back, fooling no one.
Food competition. The women have to dress up in these goofy costumes consisting of green unitards and hats made of asparagus, while the men are wearing aprons over their clothes. Aprons, how embarrassing. They go out to the back yard to find literally bushels of asparagus all over the place. It's basically a "guess your partner's weight" game, where the guys have five minutes to load an amount of asparagus on a pallet that they think is the same weight as their partner, with no way to gauge the weight except lifting for comparison. They can ask the HoHs for help with the measurement, but must do the asparagus-loading themselves. Each team has to get within ten pounds to win a certain food group for the whole house, and if they all lose, it's slop and asparagus for everyone, all week. So even if nobody has any kind of slop-prompted attack, Big Brother might still be able to wring some drama out of how bad everyone's piss is going to smell. Time to play "Big Ass-paragus."
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