As you may recall, last time we met, Jessica's peeps were jumping up and down because she won HoH, and there was already some shit starting between Dick and the people who aren't biologically related to Dick. Once again, Voice-Over Guy characterizes the LNC as "turning against" Dick and Daniele, is if V-O Guy never heard of the word "alienated" before.
We see Kail getting voted out again, and Dick storming off muttering "Liars." So that's fun. As are all the people crying and acting all serious in the bunny suits. I feel like we're in the last reel of The Shining and there's bad stuff happening behind every door I open. Daniele apologizes to Kail for being such a crap-ass HoH that she ended up getting her second-best ally in the house voted out. Stellar job, dimwit. She bitches about how worthless and untrustworthy the people who voted Kail out are. No one bothers to explain to her that at the time she made her nominations, the LNC was just as loyal to Eric as they were to Daniele. She was the one who decided she'd test it. Eric DRs that he was ecstatic that his "friends" chose to keep him in the game. Okay, this is the student of the game CBS chose to be "America's Player"? Who thinks these people voted based on friendship rather than strategy? All my illusions have faded away.
Anyway, nobody's gloating just yet, because the HoH comp has still yet to happen. But Dick still wants to throw his weight around, so he starts calling everyone liars for keeping "that idiot" Eric in the game. Eric still has no clue how to respond to Dick, probably because it's like 60/40 whether Dick's going to actually punch him or not. Dick tells Eric he doesn't deserve to be there and that he "better have a hell of an HoH competition there, Jack!" See, it's the "Jack" that makes it hilarious. That and the fact that Eric's closest ally ended up winning HoH.
Because, did you hear? Jessica totally won. And the LNC freaked the fuck out. Normally such a display of screaming and arm-pumping would be obnoxious when the victory was won by answering trivia questions about Nick and Carol, but since the entire celebration was simply a means of shoving shit in Dick's face, I wholeheartedly approve. Daniele DRs that this all goes to show that these guys had a plan all along and she and her dad "got played." And, once again, they weren't the ones who nominated Eric before learning to count to four, so Daniele kind of played herself, didn't she?
So then the shit goes down. Dick re-asserts his position that everybody who didn't vote the way he wanted them to are liars. Amber thinks Dick's full of shit and is too controlling besides. Eric says something about having freed Amber and Jameka from their commitments to him, and then Jess, brilliantly, says, "We're over the whole Eric thing now." I loved that: you tried, you failed, we won, no need to talk. That almost redeems the ugliness that's to follow. Jameka chimes in about...something. Her general position is that she never lied to him about anything, but it ends up getting obscured by about 15 minutes worth of repetition and squabbling about God and clapping her hands (which, she DRs, was her way of keeping from punching Dick in the face, which I found a little funny). After one particularly neck-swiveling declaration, Dustin goes, "Work it out, girlfriend," and Dick's all over that, because Dustin playing the fag was fine with him until Dustin wasn't on his side anymore. Dick makes a swishy arm gesture (asshole) and tells Dustin to shut up.
More yelling, mostly of the Jameka v. Dick variety, which I assure you is the most boring variety there is. I think Jameka thinks she's getting one up on Dick by refusing to engage him, except repeating yourself over and over and not letting him speak isn't quite the same as not engaging him. One is far more quiet and thus preferable. The argument turns to Nick's ouster (of course), and you can tell that the LNC has been stewing about this one for a week: the fact that Dick can be waging this crusade against Eric for manipulating Nick's ouster when it was Dick who started the anti-Nick charge to begin with. Dustin even storms from across the yard, screaming at Dick that he wanted Nick out more than anyone. He gets all the way up to Dick's face and then...kind of doesn't know where to go from there. That? Would totally be me. As sad as that is to admit. Oh, but the best thing is the following, culled from the neverending Dick v. Jameka slug-fest over religion. Dick calls Jameka a hypocrite for...whatever. Reading the Bible and not voting for Kail, I don't know. But he's like, "Hypocrite." And Jameka doesn't miss a beat before: "Your mama." Awesome.
Inside, Eric comforts Jameka and thanks her for voting to keep him in. She's kind of a mess now, after all that arguing. She thinks it's cheap that Dick continually goes after her religion when she never goes there with him. I would think the more disturbing thing is the way Dick is hovering around her in her bedroom, trying to provoke another confrontation. That's where he goes over the line, in my opinion, from regular jackassery to actual harassment. And he seems to reserve that one for only the women. He'll confront the guys, too. The short and effeminate guys, I mean. Not the big, muscle-bound studs like Nick or Mike or even Zach, who could all easily lay him out. But he reserves the stalking, hovering, glowering treatment for Jen and Kail and Jameka. Class act.
Later, Daniele whimpers in the bedroom with the round beds, complaining to Dick about how she hates everybody in the house and doesn't want to be stuck with them if and when Dick leaves. She also does take some responsibility for fucking up her own HoH week, but I suspect she was just fishing for her dad to tell her it isn't so. He doesn't do that. Heh.
Jessica strategizes with Amber and Jameka about who she should put up. Amber suggests Jen and Dick. In the DR, it sounds like Jessica's not too enthused about nominating Dick because even now she's managed to avoid being in his crosshairs, and it might be nice to keep it that way. Amber unnecessarily DRs that there's a 5-4 division in the house, and she and Jessica use all their fingers to confirm that they do indeed have the number to vote out whoever they want this week.
Jessica's HoH room unveiling is uneventful except for Daniele acting like a whiny baby about how she just hates everyone...but Jessica's okay, I guess. And Dick smiles in the DR at the acquired knowledge that Jessica bleaches her hair, which he says will be "more fuel for the fire." Whatever that means. Also: He needed a photo to know Jessica bleaches her hair? Also also: maybe you should bleach your goddamned teeth, scumbag.
Circle room. More whining and sulking from Daniele. She whispers to Dick that the only way they have a prayer of both staying is if Jessica nominates Dick but not Daniele. Which is why Jess is a moron if she doesn't nominate D&D together. Dick doesn't believe Jess is so dumb, but he vows that if he and Daniele are on the block together, he will be as obnoxious and aggressive as possible so he'll get voted out. In the DR, he calls his "sacrificing" himself for his daughter. I'm so glad Dick has found a way to paint his abuse and harassment as a noble act, aren't you?
In the kitchen, Dick decides to get an early jump on this strategy by zeroing in on Jameka and Amber. Of course, Jameka and Amber are all to eager to sink down to Dick's level, so all of a sudden it's not fun for anyone. If Jen believed other people existed when she's not around, she would totally give these two pointers for how to deal with Dick, because she's clearly the only one who knows how. On the bright side, Amber's smug laughter at Dick's barbed comments about her daughter and her drug addiction are a vast improvement from the usual ocean of tears (Amber's cry count this week remains at zero -- stay tuned). Dick and Jameka get into it about God again (y'all? Still don't care), and then the church organ music pipes up again and we cut to...well, shit. I barely typed that thing about Amber's cry count before we see her boo-hooing to God about Dick calling her a bad mother. (...shut your mouth! There, I said it.) This would be Amber "praying," I suppose, but it's really just Amber talking so the viewing audience can hear her defend herself against the drug accusations and make excuses for why she's sucking at competitions and eating all the time. God is her personal Diary Room.
Back in the Circle Room, where apparently Daniele hasn't vacated since Thursday, she's making a deal with Jen to watch each other's backs. Daniele DRs that this is her best, and maybe only, move in the game right now, to ally herself with Jen. Daniele tells her they have Zach as well (no confirmation from Zach on this, but it's probably true enough, in the sense that he hasn't pledged loyalty to the other folks yet). Jen seems fairly sincere about her devotion to Daniele, which makes me sad, of course.
Food competition. There's a "rock n roll" theme, because Dick's the big fucking star of the show, I guess. There's some fuss about Zach insisting on being on the blue-bandana team, which sticks poor Dustin on a team with Dick, Jen, and Daniele. Everyone dresses up in leather pants and feather boas and stupid hair. Dick doesn't so much need to dress up. The point of the game is to smash guitars to find cards that either read "$" or "slop." Twenty "$" cards and you win. Of note: Dick uncovers a Slop Pass for himself, Amber's guitar selections are guided by Jehovah, and Jen's wig looked like it was made out of mirrorballs. Daniele DRs that her team broke way more guitars but were unlucky in that most of them had "slop" cards, while Eric says his team went for guitars that were farther away, but those paid off better. Eric, Amber, Jameka, and Zach win. Dick first tries to give his Slop Pass away to Daniele, but she convinces him to give it to Jen, for what she assures us in the DR were "game reasons." God forbid we jump to the erroneous conclusion that she likes Jen. Eric DRs that it was a pretty obvious gesture by Dick to shore up Jen's allegiance, which is true, but also: how the hell did the LNC fail to bring Jen over to their side? The fact that she's aligned with Dick right now is a total failure on Eric's team's part.
The weekly "Zach Is Weird" segment brings us the following breaking news: Zach likes being in his bunny suit. He finds it freeing. I'm thinking Zach's going to undergo a change of lifestyle outside the house. Jessica DRs that she also prefers Bunny Zach to Real Zach. In the bathroom, Dustin and Amber fake-ogle him, though I think Dustin's more serious about it than Amber is. That suit does show off Zach's butt nicely. It does nothing for the Billy Bob face, though.
America's Player. Eric's instructions are to get Dustin nominated. Damn, America. I don't know whether to respect your creative wrench-throwing or be disgusted that you prefer Dick to Dustin. Eric, for his part, has chosen to be disgusted. He bitches that it would be much easier if America were to choose for him based on the strategic alliances he's developed in the house. Listen here, short stack. The promos say that you're working for us, okay? Not the other way around. Anyway, it's fortunate for Eric that Dustin is feeling a liiitttle too secure about his place in the house (and a little too righteous in opposition to Dick, which I wouldn't have thought possible), and he brags that if Jessica were to nominate him versus Dick, he'd win in a landslide. There's a little "ding!" on the soundtrack to indicate that Eric now has his opening to earn his America's Player dollars. Eric approaches Jessica with this idea. He then goes further, talking about how Dustin is rumored to have secret alliances with everyone in the house and is possibly not to be trusted. See, this is where Eric gets himself into trouble. This is a week where he needs to give lip service to trying to get Dustin out but accept that he won't be successful. Going the extra mile and talking shit about Dustin is only going to come back and bite him later.
The new America's Choice question: who should Eric give the silent treatment to? If America's into fucking Eric over like they seem to be, Jessica might be the logical choice here.
Okay, so at this point, your faithful recapper was felled by televised golf. The PGA Championships pushed the CBS schedule back about 15 minutes, which means my DVR cut out before the episode was over. Lucky for all of us, Miss Alli is here to save my bacon:
Jessica chirps her way through a trip to the picture wall, where she studies it carefully, presumably allowing the pictures to tell her who should be nominated. Daniele is not nervous about the possibility of being nominated, because -- as so many contestants have noted in the past in so many contexts -- "it is what it is." Dick vows to make everyone cry for the rest of his time in the house if he and Daniele go up. He will be sacrificing himself for Daniele by torturing others, because that's the kind of huge asshole he is. As for Jessica, she says she will now "make a move." Awesomely, she says that if she could, she'd be HoH every week. And it would be recess all day long! Dustin can't wait to see Jessica "show the house what she's capable of doing." Jessica tells us that she's seizing the day, as she puts it, to take out people she may not have a lot of chances to boot.
Gather 'round, children, because it's time for the nomination ceremony. Jessica tells the gathered group that she followed her heart, and she pulls out Jameka's key. Jen gets her key for once, and then Eric, Amber, Zach, and Dustin are safe. Interestingly, Jessica comes right out and says that she nominated Dick and Daniele because she's close to Eric and they tried to get him out, so this is payback. Pretty direct, that. She also says that if Dick and Daniele really want to be there, they can win the veto for themselves. And Dick thanks her, and Jessica says, "You're welcome," because she was taught right. Daniele tells us she can't stand anyone in the house, and she needs the veto. Jessica, however, tells us that her target is Daniele, not Dick, because Daniele is a good player. Eric promises America that he will keep after Dustin for us. And Dick says he's going to unleash the Dick on everyone until his last moments. That should be..fun.