Saturday. Previously on Big Brother 3: Jason became HoH, and he put Gerry and Amy in the only two seats on the Midnight Train to Julie. He expressed great regret at not having nominated Roddy the Balding Svengali. Ah, woe is Jason. Wouldn't it be great if he had another chance? Wouldn't it be swell if he got a shot at changing his mind and placing the boot on the back end of the Rod? Oh, that's right. He got one, courtesy of the Power of Veto, but he sat on it. Sat on it like Potsie. In the end, Gerry got the boot and headed back to the classroom, taking with him the last shreds of respect I ever had for several of his housemates. Marcellas grabbed HoH and, as usual, found it difficult to comprehend just how fabulous he really was.
Blue-and-white Gerry is evicted all over again, with Julie Chen unloading the big "PSYCH!" moment by making everyone think Amy was the one with the steel-toed bootmarks on her butt. We see all the blue-and-white houseguests intoning Gerry's name in the DR. Jason expresses some regret at Gerry's departure, which is probably at least a little genuine, and then Marcellas whine-overs his self-centered Pity Party of the Week, as we watch again the way he boohooed all over himself after Gerry walked out the door. "I really did believe he was my friend," Marcellas says, and it occurs to me that Marcellas needs a big fat dictionary for something other than being whacked between the eyes. Nothing chafes me like people who think "friend" is just a state of mind -- that it's a distinction you bestow like "favorite movie," and you give it and you take it back and it means nothing either way, because it doesn't have any particular connection to anything you actually do or say -- or refrain from doing or saying. I mean, gosh, with friends like Marcellas, who needs diphtheria?
Roddy remarks that he'll miss Gerry, too. Now that I believe. I suspect that Gerry was the only one with any amount of patience for listening to Roddy prattle about tidepools and Fibonacci numbers and how Maine will one day snap off and drift out to sea like the head breaking off a gingerbread man. (Okay, so Fibonacci numbers are actually really cool. But still.) Danielle says that it's "nothing personal, just business." Danielle can stop auditioning for that guest spot on The Sopranos any day now, because I get it.
Marcellas continues to muse that it struck him that Gerry saved him from eviction, that Marcellas is really only in the house because of Gerry, and that Marcellas "felt the gratitude." Wow, I didn't think anything in the world was cheaper than my fiberboard furniture from Target, but those words certainly are. Awfully convenient suddenly to acknowledge your debts to people when it's too late to pay them back. Furthermore, in case you think there's any chance that Marcellas is sincere in this comment and has figured out how much he owes to Gerry, just hang in until the live show Thursday. He's not.
There's quite a little discussion among the houseguests about Julie's fake-out trying to make them think the vote went four-zip against Amy. Lisa says it was "a shock to your system." Danielle -- hitting the rewind button on her personal vocabulary VCR -- calls it "scandalous." Danielle is getting a thesaurus from me on her birthday. Or perhaps she will get a bouquet of stinky fish from me on her birthday, because up? The countdown. "Six down, and four to go." One of these days, I am counting on one of the editors to throw a slice of pizza against the wall, wipe the beer from the corner of his mouth, and yell, "I'm NOT! SHOWING! That COUNTDOWN! ANYMORE!" I envision it being very Peter Finch in Network. I can't wait.
Marcellas remarks that it is the halfway point. Oh, God, that isn't true, is it? We have to be further along than that. Despair begins to nibble at my ankles like a lost puppy. Nevertheless, they all applaud themselves. Because they've been sitting on a TV lot without doing anything significant for weeks, dammit, and they deserve applause.
Blue-and-white Marcellas wins HoH again. Amy says she "couldn't be happier." Note the large birds circling Amy's head. Mmm, vultures. Also in blue and white, after Marcellas wins, Amy walks with his arm around her, drawling, "Ah love being First Lady!" Marcellas talks about how many things he desperately needs (he is not smart enough to include "sense of perspective" on the list, I'm sure), and his great hope that he can get some of them in his HoH basket. We see him go into the HoH room to check out the haul. He is happiest about a picture of his whole family when he was significantly younger -- hee, nice Afro, dude. He gets his favorite blanket, a letter from his sister, and a Jill Scott CD. His sister also conveys in the letter that it's time to "lose the socks and the flip-flops." Man, no kidding. The funny editors throw in a shot of Marcellas walking, and they put the buzzing sound and the little red X over his feet, just like they did last week when he was snarking on what everyone else was wearing. I swear, without the editors to keep me company, I would have ripped my eyeballs out long ago.
A literal drum roll brings us to a segment of a very unhappy Roddy sitting outside, undoubtedly wondering whether he would actually be willing to make out with Marcellas to avoid nomination. Amy comes along, and he asks her to sit to him. She does, and tells him she's still wigged out -- I think over the Chen eviction fake-out -- and then he asks if he can tell her something. He says, in this very gentle, parental way, that he doesn't think people appreciated the way she lolled about, luxuriating in her presumed safety when Marcellas won HoH -- the "First Lady" line seems to be what bothers him the most. You know, considering that, content-wise, he doesn't have a leg to stand on, he approached Amy in a pretty good, pretty appropriate way in this one instance. In other words, if he actually had a point to make, this would be the way to make it without being any more hurtful than necessary. But honestly, he has no point. Amy has already been on the block three times when this conversation happens, and if she wants to bask a little in the belief that she might get a week off, I would think he should be able to understand. I mean...he in particular wouldn't understand, I guess, but a general hypothetical person would understand. Furthermore, Roddy makes it sound like the resentment of her attitude comes from everyone, and I don't think he's speaking for anyone but himself. So shut up, Roddy. He doesn't, of course -- he goes on to caution Amy that aligning herself with Marcellas makes them seem like a couple, which could make her a target. You know, that's closer to not being a complete load of crap than anything else he's said so far. Of course, Roddy can't leave well enough alone. He has to point out ostentatiously that he's telling Amy this even though it's "not in [his] best interests." Roddy is so generous. I'm so glad he pointed out his own magnanimity. Maybe he would be willing to draw me a map, so I can find his magnanimity in the future.
In the DR, Marcellas discusses the fact that Amy has given him "a million reasons to distrust her." With that much, I cannot reasonably argue. He points out that she serves as an information funnel, showing a particular talent for feeding information to Roddy. Of course, Marcellas is the one who told Amy they were going to evict Roddy a couple of weeks ago, which led to her panic attack, which led to her begging Danielle to change her mind, which led to Roddy not being evicted at that point. Soooo, let he who is without sieve cast the first stone. Marcellas goes on, saying that although he and Amy are friends, her decisions about hanging around with Roddy are "tearing [him] apart." Have you noticed that it's really easy to tear Marcellas apart? I think he's, like, pre-perforated. He tells us that although everyone in the house is looking for a Roddy eviction, Marcellas is beginning to think that letting Danielle sit in the house week after week as the "frontrunner" isn't a terribly good idea, either. "Here it sits in my lap, and I have to figure out what I'm going to do," he says. Woe is he, poor put-upon Marcellas. Buy him a cookie, won't you? He's oh so needy.
Danielle and Lisa discuss the nomination possibilities. They both think Marcellas is likely to put up Roddy, but Danielle's fear is that the other seat will be reserved for Jason's shapely behind. She underestimates, of course, the fact that for Marcellas, everything is ultimately about him, so he could never make a purely strategic nomination that wasn't in some way intended to make a statement about himself. If he puts up Roddy to show how brave he is, he'll put up someone else to make some other sort of personal point. Don't think he won't. Jason himself suspects he could be a target as well.
And now, the Roddy-Amy flirtfest begins. Out in the yard, Amy is in her yellow tube top and silk pajama bottoms, because she's doing lunges. And that's what you wear to do lunges. Isn't that what you wear when you do lunges? And -- oh, look! -- Roddy is out there, too, working out. What a coincidence. Amy is complaining that she needs a date for the fair. He says he'd go with her, and she points out that she doesn't think he'd go on the roller coaster. "I thought all you wanted to do was kiss in Lovers' Lane!" he says. She assures him in a nauseating giggly manner that she does want that. Feh, feh, feh. Of course, up here, "the fair" tends to refer to an event that basically involves eating fried foods on sticks, looking at really big cows, and trying to figure out how one tray of Brussels sprouts can be judged superior to another, so I suppose I don't think of it with quite the sentimental attachment that Amy may reserve for it. Although you do get to see a girl getting her likeness carved in butter, so I suppose that's big romance right there. Danielle DRs that she thinks this business of flirting with Roddy might have something to do with why Amy wanted Kiki out of the house. What is most hilarious about this is that Danielle obviously thinks she's being very clever in pointing this out, when in fact, everyone who isn't watching this show with cotton in their ears and a bandanna tied over their eyes (which wouldn't be a bad way to watch, actually) has known this all along. The Piano Stylings of Love tinkle in the background as we see Amy doing her best southern belle eyelash-batting thing with Roddy the Wonder Head.
The houseguests go on for a bit about Amy's flirtatious nature. Marcellas comments on her recent decision to stop wearing a bra. "We're seeing a lot more of her nipples," he points out. I...well, I agree. I mean, I'm not sure about the grammatical precision of "a lot more of her nipples," but I know what he's getting at. She's certainly been spending a bit more time flying free recently than she used to. Elsewhere, Amy lies down to Roddy in the grass, and he butters her up like a pancake. "I think once you get inside of you, you can almost do no wrong," he says. Wow, where to begin? There's "EW!", and there's "[eye roll]", and there's "shut up, Roddy," and there's "chicka-bamp"...the sheer degree of shoveling this man is capable of is a marvel indeed. Roddy says he's the same way, with the everlasting devotion and everything. Amy asks him whether this ever makes him feel "easily played." "Not really," he says, "because when someone understands that and respects that, it's a beautifully real relationship." Wow, stand back, folks, unless you want horsepucky on your kneecaps, because boy, is it ever rising fast. He implies to Amy very clearly that he thinks Chiara hated Amy because Amy "outclassed" her. No mention of names, but the implication is clear -- this is why certain people might bicker with Amy over certain things like men. Yes, there's no question about it, he has certainly learned the locations of all eighty-eight keys on the Keyboard of Amy's Psyche, and every one is in use in this stirring performance of his Symphony of Crap. A DR moment with Amy, in which she grins and blushes and "no-comment"s on the situation with Roddy makes it painfully obvious that she believes that maybe, just maybe, he might be a little in love with her. Maybe, just maybe, he's going to be her boyfriend. And it's so uncomfortable you almost have to look away.
And now, water polo! It seems that the houseguests have come up with a version of water polo in which they attempt to throw those poor, hapless ducks into large buckets at either end of the pool. Roddy and Jason wear their purple Speedos from the food challenge a couple of weeks ago, and they also don the red swim caps from the baby-oil veto competition. They look like total freaks, but of course, I think Roddy is convinced that the hotness of his bod will outweigh everything else. And that will not happen. The game eventually evolves into Lisa and Amy versus Jason and Roddy, which in turn evolves into Amy versus anything that would keep her from touching Roddy's aforementioned bod as much as possible. In fact, she attempts to smother him in her cleavage at one point. Now that's playing it cool, there, Amy. Never let on how you feel. Amy and Lisa both refer to their chests as their "secret weapons." Except, I think, for the "secret" part, considering that we see Lisa come sproinging right out of her suit. Lisa tries out the technique of hiding the duck between her boobs, while Amy tries scratching Roddy's back with her nails to the point where he requires medical attention. No, she does. Again, it's very subtle. step? A branding iron.
In the installment of Further Adventures in Houseguest Mental Health (Or Lack Thereof), we now learn that Marcellas spends quite a bit of his time in the house talking to the only person he really thinks is good enough to hang out with -- himself. Marcellas talks to himself about Charlie's Angels, about how bossy Danielle is, about what he wants for Christmas...in short, the boy is losing his marbles. And that's before he starts talking about wanting to look like David Soul on Starsky and Hutch. In the DR, he laughs hysterically trying to explain it, because the fact is that there is no explaining it. You talk to yourself, dude. Deal.
And now, Sensitive Music Of Musical Sensitivity plays as Roddy explains that Lisa is teaching him the sign language alphabet. As it turns out, Danielle knows the alphabet too, and she thinks this will make a great plotting device for herself and Lisa. That seems a bit ridiculous to me, considering that these people spend so much time together that they don't seem to have trouble finding time to talk in private, which will certainly be a lot more inconspicuous than doing the sign language alphabet, which will be an immediate hint that you're plotting. Again, this seems like Danielle trying to be sneaky for sneaky's sake, which doesn't strike me as all that great a strategy, really. This segment is also our best view yet of Danielle's obsessive, annoying, and now thoroughly used-up "Roddy is the Devil" phraseology. I think "teaching sign language to the devil" should have been the RDC this week, don't you? It would have fit right into that American Idol finale.
Jason comments that the house is emptying out from its original wall-to-wall flesh configuration. "The people in this house are vanishing," he says. And by "vanishing," he means "leaving by way of the front door." Honestly, I associate "vanishing" more with the Bermuda Triangle and my car keys than I do with walking across the courtyard to the waiting, spindly arms of Julie Chen, but perhaps that's just me. The house continues to shrink as Jason whimperingly reads an announcement from production that, in an hour, the Big Bed Room will be closed for good, so they have until then to remove their items. This probably makes a certain amount of sense -- don't let them go slinking off to separate corners, continue to make them interact, and so forth. It throws the houseguests into great sadness, however, because they love the Big Bed Room. And not having the Big Bed Room means they have to sleep with the lizards. Guess who can't deal the most? Marcellas. Whine, whine, whine. Lemmings, et cetera, can't deal, et cetera, vermin, et cetera. Sometimes I just want to walk right up to him and put lint on his collar.
After Marcellas stages a highly melodramatic and uncharacteristically unfunny spectacle in which he refuses to leave the Big Bed Room unless they drag him out kicking and screaming, the room is put out of its misery at last. So long, Big Bed Room.
Marcellas brings everyone out into the living room to discuss the food competition. As usual, the food competition involves swimsuits. This week, their task is to find seven medallions, each representing a day of the week, in order to get food. Turns out the medallions are hidden in the recently closed Big Bed Room. Wow, I've had obnoxious waiters who, when banished, stayed away longer than the Big Bed Room. But don't cringe yet! The medallions are hidden inside...cream pies! Whoo-ee! Cream pies are some serious comedy. Besides, wit is exhausting. As you can imagine, wackiness ensues. Medallions are found. Pies are destroyed. Everyone gets all messy. They find all seven medallions. And then, guess what! Roddy, who has seen a television show before and therefore knows what's supposed to happen , starts a pie fight.
Yes, a pie fight. Take note of your location, because you are sitting on the bottom. Of. The barrel. The comedy well has run dry, the creative juices have stopped flowing -- it is the winter of our discontent. Or the summer of our discontent. Whichever. It's a damn pie fight, is my point.
Now, the big drama begins when Amy discovers that she is missing her diamond ring, which she got from her grandmother, and which she's had since she was seven years old. Oops. Marcellas's reaction is to be annoyed, of course, and to condemn Amy in the DR for how crazy she's making him. Back in the pie room, Amy pleads for help. Apparently, she does generally remember to take her rings off in the pool when she goes to play polo, but on this occasion, she forgot. After quite a bit of footage of houseguests crawling around on their hands and knees, Danielle comes up with the ring. Amy refers to this in the DR as "literally finding a needle in a haystack," by which she means, "figuratively finding a needle in a haystack." With the ring found, the houseguests head outside to get washed off, and when she gets pelted by the shower, she loses the ring again. Okay, now it's okay to be annoyed. At least a little. I suspect what happened is that she was all greasy from the pie, which made the ring more likely to slip off in the shower, but still -- drop it on the table or something, girl. I have a ring that's too big for me these days, and I'm always very aware of hanging onto it if I'm doing anything that could knock it off my hand. And I'm horrible about that kind of thing, so if I can do it? You can do it. Anyway, Marcellas is doing his had-it-up-to-here routine, which is completely justified, because he has no annoying habits at all. If, by "no," you mean "lots of."
Can I just say I don't think I can watch David Morse as an avenging cab driver?
The rest of the houseguests search again for Miss Amy's ring, and this time, they don't particularly show anyone finding it. Once she leaves and is inside, Marcellas blurts by the pool that he wants her out this week. She's going up, and she's going out, as far as he's concerned. This shocks and dismays Danielle and Jason, who are looking to boot Roddy. Later, Danielle and Jason talk; Danielle says that if Marcellas boots Amy, it's going to make Marcellas look terrible to the houseguests watching at home. Of course, considering how Danielle has been acting, with the countdown and the talking trash about people behind their backs, I don't really see her as an effective advocate for watching out for what people watching at home might be thinking. Jason says that Danielle will need to work on him, and she expresses doubt about whether she can. "Marcellas does what Marcellas wants to do," she says. They also both fear that if Marcellas really wants to get Amy out for sure, what he'll do is put her up against Jason or Danielle. Jason tells Danielle that she needs to lay it out for Marcellas, tell him that they have the numbers on their side, and tell him, "You're gone if you don't do what we say." Which is certainly the first time we've seen Jason talk quite like that. I mean, "You're gone if you don't do what we say"? Yuck.
Danielle moves to the bathroom, where Lisa is in the shower. They try out their fingerspelling-spying game as Danielle spells out the news that Marcellas wants to get Amy out. Of course, since no one else is in the room, she could have walked over to Lisa and whispered, "Marcellas wants Amy out," but I guess that would be too easy. I just don't know how to think like a reality-show contestant. There is quite a bit of yapping among Danielle and her minions about what Marcellas will do, and how much it will suck if he puts Amy up against one of them.
Marcellas sits down for a chat with Danielle. "You and I have always sort of talked about making it to the end together," he says. "Absolutely!" she responds. Oh, dear. Marcellas asks Danielle about her relationship with Jason, and she basically tells Marcellas it's not an issue. She apologizes in the DR for being a "scumbag," which I'm sure will be very comforting to Marcellas later. Interestingly, at this point, Marcellas is very, very close to busting Danielle. He asks her, "Are you overextended, as far as alliances within the house?" Which is exactly what she is. Marcellas's mistake, of course, is in thinking that if she is, she's going to tell him. Duh. Danielle denies it, which apparently is good enough for Marcellas. Ah, so close, and yet so dim. She knows exactly what buttons to push on Marcellas, and so she returns to the topic of the "original six" that Marcellas hates so much. He comments that he wants the last three people to be the ones who had nothing to do with that, who are presumably himself, Danielle, and Jason. It's fascinating to me that he still charges Amy the bill for having been part of that on the first night, when she's been such a good friend to him for so long. I just don't really understand how Marcellas thinks, I have to admit.
Time for nominations. Everyone is apprehensive, except Amy, who seems to think she has an idea of who's going to be nominated. Marcellas melodramatically starts the ritual as that really, really porny music wacka-chickas in the background. That is definitely the porniest of all the porny music they use on CBS reality shows. Chicka-wacka-chicka...wah wah wah...it's like the nominations are going to involve stripping to your undies and spanking yourself. But they probably won't. Wouldn't that be cool, though? ["If we didn't see that the week that Chiara was Head of Household, I don't think it's likely to happen." -- Wing Chun]
Sit at the table, pull a couple of keys, and pow! The nominees are Roddy and Amy. Ouch. Marcellas turns to Roddy first. His argument is that Roddy simply can't be trusted, and once again, he has to phrase this as "the perception within the house," rather than just taking the responsibility for it himself. Marcellas is the only person I've seen in this game who feels so entitled to speak for other people so frequently. Everything he does, he writes off to "the house." Baby? It's time to put up or shut up. You're the one who put the keys in the box. It's not the house that has perceptions. It's you, and I really wish you'd stop trying to make it all about how you just represent the greater good. Thank you. Roddy, by the way, looks disgusted and surprised.
Now, Marcellas turns to Amy. He tells her she's been his best friend, but then he goes into some really indecipherable crap to the effect that he's always telling her what she should be doing differently, and she never does what he says, so he nominated her. Or something. It's really lame. Amy, trying hard to be a good soldier, smiles and nods through the whole thing. Most unfathomably, Marcellas says, "This isn't personal, this isn't a reflection, it's just more of...." She tries to cut him off in a chipper way, saying, "The game." But he's not having any of it. "No, it's not the game," he says, rolling his eyes. "Don't belittle it." Well, what the hell, Marcellas, if it isn't personal, and it isn't the game, what is it? And "belittle"? He says it like Amy snubbed the humanitarian award he tried to bestow on her or something. Whatever he means to be saying, what generally comes after "it's not personal" in this game is something about it being "the game," so whether he meant it or not, he set her up for that moment, and she was trying to let him off the hook a little under very difficult circumstances. I don't love Amy all the time, and I doubt I would want to be her friend, but if Marcellas really cares about her, it would be nice if, you know, one time out of a hundred, he would give her a break and not humiliate her like she's his errant child. Come to think of it, not even an errant child deserves this treatment. Marcellas wraps up by telling Amy that Roddy was right about what he said about her when he nominated her. Remember? Remember how Amy cried, and how she was so devastated by that speech? I guess Marcellas thought it would be helpful if, in addition to his own You Suck speech, he reminded her of, and ratified, the You Suck speech to which she was subjected. Nice. Remember the last discussion, about Amy and the difficulty she has accepting affection that is anything other than grudging? Yeah. Here she is again, and if you watch her face in this scene, it will break your heart.
The long and the short of it is that somehow, some way, Marcellas manages to nominate and excoriate his "best friend" in the house, and he still acts like he's the one who's burdened and put-upon. It is at this point that I really, really start to hate him.
Amy sits at the table, unable to move. Roddy leans over and puts his head on her shoulder. In the DR, Danielle -- in a speech I actually do find somewhat sincere -- says that she may do a lot of other things, but she doesn't degrade people in public like that. She and Lisa both DR that they felt very, very bad for Amy. And no wonder.
Roddy, meanwhile, makes some full-of-crap comments to the effect that Marcellas didn't have any reason to nominate him. Whatever, Captain Monoxidil. Jason talks about the importance of the veto, and how either he or Danielle needs to win it. Marcellas acts sad in the Aquarium Room. Wow, this certainly is fascinating stuff they're dishing out. Does anyone have any playing cards?
Wednesday. Previously, Marcellas sucked.
Nomination aftermath continues. After blue-and-white Amy is nominated all over again, we see her still sitting at the table with Roddy, stunned. "I just don't know why everyone's nomination speech of me has to be so cruel," she says to him, and at this point, I do kind of see how she feels. Among other things, she's now up for the fourth time, so it's got to be getting a little tiring. Marcellas, of course, is in the HoH room feeling sorry for himself, because it is, after all, all about him. In the DR, Marcellas refers to the nomination of Amy as an "intervention," which I'm sure was a big help, considering that he didn't even tell her what the hell he was talking about. Furthermore, interventions are all right for emergencies like drinking and heroin, but an intervention that basically says "It's a crisis how much you suck as a human being"? Yeah, most people can live without that one. Marcellas blows by Amy and Roddy at the table on his way out into the yard. Prick.
Roddy talks in the DR about how incredibly crappy he thought Marcellas's speech was. "'Unnecessary' doesn't even begin to describe it," he says. And you know, he's an arrogant blowhard, but on this occasion? Well said, you arrogant blowhard. Outside, Danielle tells Marcellas that he should tell Amy he loves her. Doesn't like how she's acting, but loves her. And I'm glad Danielle did that. A cameraperson gets a great shot of Marcellas walking around bitterly outside, through the window, over the shoulders of a hugging Roddy and Amy. Nice work! Out on the basketball court, Danielle asks Marcellas what he wants to happen, and he says he wants Roddy, not Amy, to be evicted. He calls it a "learning opportunity" for Amy. Do you think he knows how arrogant remarks like that really are? Does he remember himself, crying hysterically on the bed because he was so hurt that a bunch of people he didn't know acted like he was nothing? Does he know that it really is quite a bit worse when someone who is supposed to be your friend treats you like you're nothing? Get a clue, man.
Roddy gets up and leaves the table, but Amy continues to sit. And stare. Lisa comes over to her. "Amy, do you want to talk?" Amy tells Lisa that she expected the nomination. She just wasn't ready for the speech. Sniff.
Outside, three enormous giant heads collide as Roddy sits down to chat with Marcellas and Danielle. Roddy opens with a sort of grunt of discontent, and Marcellas immediately says, "Roddy, I'm...terrifically sorry." And what does Marcellas do ? He blames the entire house. It's not me, it's the house. Not me! The will of the house! What was I to do? I'm just me! It's a whole house! With cameras in the walls! Shut up, Marcellas. Roddy isn't buying. He turns on Danielle, furious that she never told him that she shares this perception that he's untrustworthy. He tries the whole "How could you have told me you trusted me?" thing, but that crap he used on Jason rolls off Danielle like...well, like something really, really round and rollable. He's pretty much falling to pieces, realizing he's probably toast, and it makes him frustrated, because he is Rod! He is the Rod! Fear the Rod! Your old pal Rod! Anyway. This collapses into a fight, in which he and Marcellas argue over which of them is prettier or has a cuter purse or something. Marcellas drags out the ancient guilt-by-association crap about Roddy's friendship with Josh and hammockship with Chiara, blah blah blah cliquetyclaquetycakes. And then these three people -- all of whom are trying to screw each other -- argue over who is the most virtuous. Roddy winds up saying, "I forgive you," which Marcellas is snotty about in response. I would point out that normally, I agree that "I forgive you" is a stupid, arrogant comment, but when Marcellas opened with "I'm terrifically sorry," he did sort of open himself up to being effusively forgiven, stupid as it is. Of course, Roddy can't quit while he's marginally, slightly, a teeny tiny bit ahead, so he goes on to lecture Marcellas that he should have accepted the grand and admirable gesture of forgiveness. Bzzzt. You suck, Roddy. They fight some more, and Marcellas gets up and walks away. Man, I hate these people. I need a very, very tall drink of something with an umbrella in it. And someone fanning me with big leaves would be nice also. Unlike these people, I have suffered enough.
In the diary room, Marcellas ratchets up the utter nonsense by saying that Roddy was "being the smart white guy telling the two black people that they're being emotional." Seriously, Marcellas, shut UP. I'll give you arrogant, I'll give you rude, I'll give you lacking in self-awareness, I'll give you pompous and hypocritical and follically challenged. But that, that you just said? That is not what this is about. There are only five people in the house, other than Roddy. You're the two who were sitting outside when he got there. So before you go waving your righteous indignation in the air with too much enthusiasm, you might keep in mind that you wouldn't want anyone to think you were cynically exploiting such a serious matter because you're pissed-off and bitter, would you? Yeah, I didn't think so.
Roddy keeps being a self-important bore, trying hard to punish me for defending any aspect of his personality. He walks away, leaving Danielle alone. "Nest of vipers, pack of jackals, flock of vultures," she chants, like she's summoning her forces of evil. Amy goes outside and sits with Danielle. Danielle tells her she knows how much it means to Amy to be accepted, and she knows how hard this is on her. Amy and Danielle hug. And for just that little moment of kindness, I do give Danielle big credit. Amy really, really, really needed that right then, and I'm glad Danielle did it. Danielle then sends Amy to go talk to Marcellas, which I sort of think is...a little bit wrong, because it sets up what's about to happen.
And what's about to happen is that Amy goes into the HoH room and somehow, in some strange sequence of events, Amy winds up basically apologizing to Marcellas, because she was afraid he'd be mad at her. Excuse me, what? You know, if there's anything worse than a woman who sits around while people treat her like crap, it's one who sits around while people treat her like crap, and then apologizes to them. Amy certainly does have the full-blown version of whatever sickness this is. Furthermore, Marcellas yet again insists on characterizing the things he says as being representative of what unnamed other people also believe. Can he even open his mouth anymore without claiming to speak for all mankind? If not, closing his mouth might be a start.
Marcellas continues to piss me off when he says, in the diary room, "When Amy is just Amy, and not the ex-beauty-queen, or not trying to be sexy Amy, or not trying to be bendable Barbie, Amy is...wonderful." As sweet as they'd like us to think this sentiment is, it also sucks. The fact of the matter is that part of Amy is the ex-beauty-queen. And part of her is sexy Amy. What Amy needs is not to discard entire portions of her personality. What Amy needs is to stop worrying about herself so much and working so hard to impress people with her assorted assets. But she's always going to be somewhat this way, and if you can't make peace with it, she's not your friend, and you really ought to leave her alone, rather than taking the Renovation of Amy on as your personal project. Gee, I feel like I gave this speech, like, two weeks ago. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Nobody deserves to have "friends" who fundamentally don't like who they are.
Marcellas and Danielle yakkety-yak about Roddy some more, and how he's the devil, and a weasel, and blah dee blah. And guess what Marcellas says again? "Will of the house." Wow, my pockets are empty. Not one more "shut up, Marcellas" is available for use. What a shame.
Roddy's monk-chanting music comes up again, and this time, he's in the hot tub, taking what appears to be a tub-cleaning brush and sprinkling water around like he's blessing the place. Heh. He's also chanting. Double heh. It's so sad that he's such a jerk so much of the time, because he is a little funny. And the chant, in case you're wondering, goes, "Oh, Domino's Pizza delivers...in thirty minutes or less...." Hee! Oh, Roddy. We could have had so much fun together, if you hadn't been a jackass. And now we get the montage of funny Roddy -- which I have to say is funnier than the montages of funny Danielle, which are never funny. Funny Roddy, on the other hand, would be funny if he weren't kind of a moron. Danielle calls it his "Satan/Lucifer" dynamic, because Satan is really bad, whereas Lucifer is just kind of fun. Unfortunately, this "devil" crap is so played out at this point that Danielle's taken the air out of her own punch line.
Roddy and Marcellas chat on the basketball court. The short version goes like this. Marcellas: "I had to nominate you." Roddy: "You said you wouldn't." Marcellas: "Did not." Roddy: "Did too." And then there's some more of that, but honestly, I become fatigued when I watch grown men argue like four-year-olds. Just tie on your Pampers and do your thing, fellas, and I'll be over here rolling my eyes until I go blind.
Danielle and Amy talk. Danielle is carefully trying to make sure that if Amy wins the veto, she won't do anything really, really stupid like veto Roddy. Danielle makes veiled remarks to Amy along these lines. It turns out that way back when, during the power of veto competition with the wooden boxes (remember? It was boring), Amy promised Roddy that if she ever had the veto when he was up, she'd veto him. Amy tells Danielle that she isn't going for the veto, but if she gets it, she has to use it on Roddy, because she promised him she would. Danielle goes and shares this with Marcellas, who isn't happy. "Son of a biscuit-eatin' bitch," he says. Hee. He goes on to speculate that Roddy was "born under the good moon." Danielle shares this news with Jason, too, who becomes even more resolved to keep Amy from getting the veto.
And now, the moment in which Roddy evicts himself. (Sorry, were you in suspense?) Roddy and Amy talk in the green bathroom chairs. Amy tells Roddy that she will indeed use the veto on him -- but there's a condition. She'll veto him, but of course, he has to promise her that he'll vote for Amy over whoever Marcellas puts up against her after Roddy's vetoed. Sounds reasonable, doesn't it? "If I veto you, please don't vote to evict me"? Roddy thinks about this for a minute, and says gee, he'll try, but he can't vote Lisa out (I forget why this is, or whether we know why this is). So if Marcellas puts up Danielle or Jason, Roddy will stay with Amy. But if Marcellas puts up Lisa? Not necessarily. And something about this moment makes Amy suddenly decide -- just as surely as she once believed Roddy hung the moon -- that he is playing her, manipulating her, using her for his own nefarious purposes. Obviously, he isn't her friend, can't be trusted -- she basically gives herself whiplash with this change of heart. I must admit that for all the garbage Marcellas has dished out this week, one thing he said is true. Amy does have constant epiphanies, and you certainly can't count on them to last very long. Sigh.
And now, in a really weird development, Roddy and Danielle talk in the kitchen, and they both try to pretend they're not engaged in a pitched battle. He gives a particularly asinine speech in which he complains that he's been just this awesome, nice, cool guy (no, literally, that's pretty much what he says), and he's been taken advantage of because the other (inferior) people in the house don't keep their word. You know, "asshat" is one of those words that I don't completely understand, but I know the need for it when it comes around. And it just came around. ASSHAT. Danielle asks Roddy whether he had a deal with Marcellas, and Roddy says he did. Danielle also knows that when Jason was endlessly pondering his nominations, he asked Roddy whether he had any standing deals, and Roddy said no. Therefore, Danielle is incredibly excited about having caught Roddy in a lie. I have no idea why. Who cares now? She already was going to vote him out, and who is she going to use this on who will actually believe her? What I really think is going on here is just more of Danielle's usual very high opinion of her own scheming abilities. Roddy also manages to refer to himself in this conversation as "the smart cute boy." You know, Roddy, usually people allow those titles to be bestowed by OTHERS. Danielle then spends about an hour in the DR talking about how smart she is, how brilliant she is, what a great liar she is, and generally how incredibly wonderful she is. I don't like either of them one bit.
Marcellas brings everyone into the living room for the veto competition. They all have to put on graduation gowns and go outside. This week, we have the Rigged In Favor Of Amy Competition. Oh, I mean -- an obstacle course. But the trick is that you have to walk the obstacle course with a book balanced on your head. Yeah, you know, like a beauty pageant contestant. It's a good thing there aren't any beauty pageant contestants on this show that would present tantalizing veto opportunity, because this might look fixed. Anyway, just as is intended, Amy wins. She and Jason (who comes in second) also win water massages in one of those weird booths like they have at the mall. So now, Amy has the power of veto. Hmm. That'll be interesting. Danielle calls it "the worst-case scenario." Roddy calls it "the best-case scenario." Hm.
Turns out that Jason and Amy don't initially know it's a water massage -- they just know it's a massage. So Jason is envisioning a large man rubbing him, and that just strikes him as deeply wrong. Danielle thinks he would actually be worse off if it were a woman, but her explanation of that gets into a whole weird thing about how Jason's a virgin, so of course he's afraid of women...or something. It's stupid. Anyway, Jason and Amy go out back for their massages, and they find the water booth, much to Jason's relief. He really wasn't prepared for a big guy named Sven to handle his intimate parts, I think. Amy does manage to embarrass him a little by pausing the water jets while they are over his, as Lisa says, "butt-ocks."
When the massages are over, Lisa, Jason, and Danielle have a conversation about the veto. Jason is angry at the thought that Roddy would even ask Amy to use it, given that this would likely doom her to certain eviction. Danielle actually takes the opportunity to pray...to God...that Amy not use the veto. Danielle? Have you met my theory that God Doesn't Do Free Throws, Awards Shows, Or Reality Television? It's one of my favorites. God is busy, Danielle. It's like the way you don't bother your mom to break up fights between you and your sister when she's relaxing in the tub. Come to think of it, that will work. Think of God as in the tub, Danielle.
America's Choice time. This week, America was asked what the houseguests should get to shop for -- clothes, sporting goods, or toys and games. They all want clothes, and that's what they get. Good job, America! We rule! The way the shopping works is that the living room will be all stocked with clothes, and they'll have ninety seconds to make the mad dash. Anything they can put on, they can keep. Scramble, grab clothes, and so forth. Predictable wackiness. Everyone winds up with some shiny new clothes. ["How stupid. I realize that they know people are watching them, and they have some notion that they want to look nice, but...clothes? What, do they think they're going to need a new outfit in case Sheryl Crow comes back for another concert? They're trapped in a house with no books, radio, or TV. Aren't they really, really bored? Hello, GAMES?! Morons." -- Wing Chun]
Later, Roddy continues to work Amy about the veto. She tells him she's not so sure she'll be using it, what with his unwillingness to support her in return and everything. He continues to wail away on her "obligation" to do what she said she would, and use the veto. He tells her that if he had ever made a promise to her, he'd keep it. She doesn't know what to do.
Veto meeting. Amy turns to Roddy, and before she can even start her speech, he stops her just to tell her that whatever she does is okay. Remember he said that. Amy goes on to describe her deal with him, and then to explain how he told her that he wouldn't necessarily vote to keep her if she vetoed him. She ultimately says that she can't veto him, knowing that it might mean sacrificing herself, when he won't even agree not to vote to evict her. So she's not using the veto. Hilariously, Marcellas then praises her reasoning as "perfect" in the DR. Funny how her reasoning is always "perfect" as long as she's doing what he wants. Shut up, Marcellas. Roddy, meanwhile, bitters in the diary room that "Amy has proven that her word is no good." Or else she's proved that she's not an absolute and total freaking sap. Incidentally, Dictionaryhead? The past participle of "prove" is "proved," not "proven." "Proven" is an adjective only, as in "a proven cure," and even then, it's not a great word. Just a little hint from your recapper, who admittedly does not have quite the enormous store of useless data in her head that you possess (and to the degree that she does, much of it relates to -- ugh -- pop culture, of all things), but who can still put her college degree to some good use without completely embarrassing herself. I normally don't bother with these things too much, given that I'm no mistress of perfect usage, but when you get too wound up about being the biggest intellectual since the invention of the printed word, I do pay a bit more attention. I know you'd want me to point these things out, after all. It will make you a better person, after all. Come to think of it, you should thank me.
Jason...oh, good heavens. This DR session with Jason is our first view of his absolutely horrifying hair of the week. Okay, imagine that you're a guy, and sort of a hottie. And you have nice, wavy hair. Now, imagine you are delusional and blind, and you smoke crack. This is really the only way to explain what's going on here with Jason's hair. He's got it sort of mussed up and combed forward, and there's something like motor oil on it. For texture, I guess. It's like a mop, but worse. It's like a dirty mop. At any rate, Jason says in the DR that Amy didn't use the veto partly because she realized that if she vetoed Roddy, she would be bounced the week anyway.
Outside in the big chairs, Roddy and Amy talk. Again, she is asking him not to hate her, despite the fact that again, she did nothing wrong. I suppose this is Amy's theme of the week. Sigh. Amy starts to tell Roddy that she has a tendency to "beat herself up so much over things," and he stops her and says that really isn't it. He tells her that feeling bad about it now is the easy way out. The hard thing would have been to keep to her word in the first place. He says this, of course, despite the fact that he already told her inside that whatever she decided to do was okay. He also says this knowing how really fragile she is this week, and says it knowing that he has the ability to hurt her feelings. When Roddy's all through trying to make Amy feel like a worthless pile of trash, he gets up, kisses her on the forehead, and leaves. And she cries. Oh, Amy. Don't cry over jerks. There are honestly so many. As for you, Roddy...if you watch that scene and you don't feel ashamed, then you need to take a big fat deep breath and rethink your position until you do.
Amy cries, then she hurls her plastic glass of water through the air. So dramatic!
Thursday. Previously, Roddy sucked.
Julie Chen, dressed in a white clingy shirt with vertical stripes (hey, I think I have those placemats!), starts out with a bang this week, referring to Amy's nomination as the moment Marcellas "turned on his best friend." Hmm. A little feistier than usual, the Chen this week. She recaps the rest of the week's events, up to and including Amy's decision not to use the veto. Julie reminds us that this is Amy's fourth time on the block -- ugh! -- and Roddy's third, so they're both used to it.
Julie explains that the houseguests are once again being tempted not to evict Roddy, because Amy is acting so obnoxious. In the house, Marcellas and Danielle have a conversation in which Marcellas somehow complains that when he made a semi-deal with Roddy, it was only because Roddy hypnotized him with charisma or blinded him with science or some crazy-ass thing like that. Marcellas doesn't really want to admit that what he was doing was playing both sides against he middle without really knowing what the heck his plan was, or that as long as he didn't know which side to take, it would be good to temporarily take the side of the ripped naked man in the hot tub. Amy, meanwhile, has apparently flipped one of the switches in her head again, because now, she again feels guilty about not having vetoed Roddy. She tells Roddy so, and he tells her there's nothing she can do about it now. He leans back and puffs on his cigar.
We now see Amy doing her best to see if she can't save Roddy by getting her own ass evicted. (Well, subconsciously.) She has done herself up and gotten into a white dress, and is now prancing around the house drunk. She goes up to Roddy, begging him to trade her beer for his glass of wine. Apparently, she wants to drink all the wine. He dismissively tries to get rid of her. Lisa watches uncomfortably. The rest of the houseguests comment that Amy's had two glasses of wine and two beers...and on its own, that's hardly going to get you in the door of your local rehab facility, but they are also rather dismayed at the way Amy's behavior changes when she drinks. Basically, she's one of those sad drunks who drinks and then makes profound statements about herself and her life, which is driving everyone in the house out of their minds. Finally, Marcellas looks over from the cardio machine (which he refers to as "the exercise bike"...um, not) and tells her to put the drink down, get out of the getup, and go to bed already. Of all the times he's treated her poorly, Marcellas really is doing her a favor in this instance. She doesn't listen, unfortunately. What she does is go and beg for more booze. She pulls Jason into the HoH, and not only does she ask to drink his drink, but she whispers it to him and asks him to make sure he doesn't tell Marcellas, because Marcellas will get mad. Sigh...that's just sad, right there. When Marcellas asks Amy about it, she denies it. Later, she lies in the hammock and talks to Roddy, telling him that Marcellas hurt her feelings. As she talks, she rolls over and falls out of the hammock. Normally, I would be right on board with finding that funny, but...there comes a point, you know? With drunk people. Where you like them, and they become spectacles, and you just feel bad for them. Believe me, I've been on both sides. Amy cackles hysterically as she lies on the ground, but everyone else sort of looks at each other uncomfortably. Are they making too much out of this? Sort of. Is it problematic? Yes.
Now, on to Roddy's attempts to get Lisa's vote. How does he accomplish this? Through flirting. And you know why? Because he's not paying attention. He's done a good job of letting people choke on their own weaknesses, but he really did misread Lisa. First of all, she really likes Eric, so she's really not looking to be flirted with a whole lot. As far as she's concerned, she's in a relationship. Second, he doesn't understand that she blames him for the stuff that happened with Chiara. Third, he doesn't get how thoroughly she's aligned herself with Danielle. In short, this is going nowhere, and he's wasting his time by thinking it will.
Julie takes us to the house to talk to the houseguests. Again, they're sad, because it's time for another boot. Julie compliments Danielle on her wrap dress from the America's Choice thing, and then she moves on to Jason, who is back in that nightmarish dirty-mop do. Julie calls it "very Greg Brady." Hee. One point for the Chen. Julie then asks Marcellas about his nomination speech, and asks him what he was trying to say to Amy and whether he thinks she got it. He calls it "a plea to Amy to be a little more careful with everyone, because we're all really fragile." No one more fragile than Amy, of course, so it sort of makes you wonder why Marcellas mercilessly flattened her, if that's the way he feels. Julie moves on to Amy, who basically says she thinks the nomination speech sucked, and was overly mean. Julie asks Danielle how badly she wants to win HoH, and Danielle says, "I want it so bad I can taste it," which I don't believe for a second, but that's neither here nor there, I suppose. There is some additional blathering about the America's Choice.
Voting in the DR. Only, as usual, there is no voting. Danielle is unnecessarily nasty about Amy, it seems to me, talking about how "if you have to work that hard to be sexy, sorry, girlfriend, you ain't got it." Did we mention how fragile Amy is, by chance? And how low her opinion of herself is already? Does Danielle really think Amy needs to hear that? Furthermore, I have to say Danielle certainly does know how to throw away votes in the DR, in the event she makes the final two. I think that remark right there seals the fact that Amy will not vote for her against any of the other folks who remain. That's how seriously I think Amy will take it. At any rate, Danielle makes her usual speech about the diabolical Roddy, and how he's the devil. Can she please, please, PLEASE shut up?
Josh? JOSH? Why in the hell do I have to look at Josh? Bleh. Here's Josh and Merritt, anyway, and here's Josh explaining that his strategy was to make everyone hate him. I'm not sure that's a "strategy" so much as an "inevitability," but there you go. Merritt talks about how hard it was not to be able to support her beloved weasel boy during his time of difficulty. We see again the way they reunited, and the way he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. For whatever reason, we have to see them visit Frederick's of Hollywood (why?), where Josh appears in a black silk robe with a playing card motif. Did I do something to offend the people behind this show? Why are they doing this? Then Josh and Merritt go look at diamonds. They look at one that's $37,000. "If you guys have, like, a 90% off sale, give me a call," he says. Heh. Okay, that was a little funny. Anyway, Josh tells us in an interview that he intends to propose to Merritt as soon as he asks her dad. And as soon as her dowry is prepared and the townspeople prepare a festival of pheasant, I suppose, since they are apparently getting married a couple hundred years ago.
Time for Marcellas's HoH interview. Julie asks him about Amy, and what their status is. Marcellas claims that he's experiencing "profound disappointment" in her. This despite the fact that Amy now is acting pretty much the way Amy acted on the very first night they were in the house, with the too loud and the drinking and the hanging out of the tree. So while Marcellas can claim exhaustion with her behavior, I'm not sure disappointment -- which carries an element, it seems to me, of the unexpected -- is appropriate. If he befriended her, he should have done it knowing she had a bit of this in her, and to abandon her for it at this point seems deeply unfair. He says he loves her, but he doesn't like her right now. For once, he manages not to say that the entire house doesn't like her either. He bitches about being HoH, although he liked getting the picture of his family.
Jason goes into the DR to vote. He's much more diplomatic than others have been in expressing that Amy is having a bad week; he just says she has a tendency to create drama, which people find tiresome. And that's just a much better thing to say than "she's not sexy." He is equally diplomatic about Roddy, who he calls "my friend."
Now it's time to discuss Roddy with his parents. If you ever wondered how a guy could get so full of himself, you're about to find out. First of all, they call him "our Rod" or "my Rod," which is just sort of unsettling. (Of course, now that I've seen that picture of those Amazing Race 3 twin brothers hugging naked and staring lustfully into each other's eyes, it takes substantially more than it used to to give me the willies.) Roddy's dad takes us to the family library, where Roddy picked up some of those fun facts he throws around all day long. Burn the family library, I say. Mama and Papa Rod go on to talk about how wonderful and sweet and perfect and kind (they hadn't seen how he treated Amy when they shot this interview, I have to assume) he is. They say they're looking forward to meeting Chiara, and that Roddy can bring her home for Thanksgiving. Oh, good grief. Roddy's parents are the only people in America who haven't figured out that Roddy's not interested in Kiki. His mother also says, "Rod is not a manipulative person." Wow. You have to think that that family library has a dictionary in it somewhere, and that dictionary has the word "manipulative" in it. Look it up, Mama Rod. Papa Rod praises the Rod for being able to convince people logically that "one and one is always two." Can't argue with that.
Julie goes back to the living room, where she wants to talk to the nominees. She brings up the veto, asking Roddy first whether he agrees with Amy's decision not to use it. He says she can do what she wants, but reminds everyone that she did make a deal with him and she did break it. Whatever. Julie asks Amy about the decision not to veto Roddy, and Amy announces it was "the worst decision [she] could have made." Oh, Lord. Amy has spun the car around again. It seems that she now is soaking in regret because she didn't fall on her sword for this guy, even though he turned around and treated her like crap. Or because he did, I guess. Julie looks at Amy like she's nuts. Heh. "Very martyr-like," Julie comments. Wow, that's two points for the Chen. Julie asks Roddy and Amy for final thoughts, and Amy takes the opportunity to apologize to Roddy again. Roddy takes the opportunity to tell Amy he "forgive[s] her." Again. Lovely. He also gives a shout-out to his family.
Lisa in the DR, getting ready to vote. She explains that she's had a chance to get to know the nicer side of Amy, but she also says that Amy has seemed to feel a need to be the center of attention constantly ever since she came back into the house -- which means ever since Kiki was evicted, really. Lisa says that Roddy is the stronger player, and that he would be almost certain to target Danielle and Marcellas before coming after Lisa, so it would probably be to Lisa's strategic advantage to leave Roddy in the house for now. Which I actually understand, a little.
Eviction time. Three-to-nothing, they give The Rod the boot. They give him hugs on his way out, and he is seriously wearing the angriest smile I have ever seen. ["It looked to me like he was beaming like a crazy person because he was trying not to start sobbing in front of them." -- Wing Chun] Hugs, hugs, and then Roddy's out, down the steps, and over to Julie. She brings him in and sits him down on the Chenterview couch, and then as usual, we're back into the house for a moment to watch the festivities. Only this week, it's not festivities. What it is is all the houseguests in the back yard, where Amy is crying her eyes out. No, seriously. Crying her eyes out. She's alone in a corner of the yard, and everyone else is just watching her as she bawls inconsolably. Man, Roddy got to her but good.
Back in the studio, Roddy tells Julie that he's shocked to have been evicted, because he expected everyone else to be as honorable and perfect as he is, and they weren't. His argument here is basically that he thought he had deals with Amy, Marcellas, and Danielle, all of which he thinks were broken. He calls it "mass hysteria." Among five people? That's not mass hysteria. I think Roddy hasn't ever seen "mass hysteria." Julie asks him to give up what his strategy was, and he says that he started out strong, so his strategy at first was to start throwing competitions. Also, whenever anyone left the house, he would say lots of nice things about them, because he freely admits he was playing to stay in the house, but also for votes at the end. Julie asks him about the fact that no one trusted him, and asks him if he ever lied. He says he didn't. She asks him if he used his charisma and his charm "to play on the weaknesses of some of your housemates," and to his credit, he basically says, "Damn right." Julie asks Roddy about Chiara, and now that he's not playing for votes, it's surprising how openly he pretty much says there's nothing to that. It was for TV, so whatever. Ouch. Asked who he's rooting for now, he says Jason or Lisa. His video goodbyes are fairly routine, except of course for Amy, who as expected, takes the opportunity to flog herself. Oh, Lord, make it stop. "You are an angel! You've made such an impact on me! And my way of thinking! You melted my little bitty frozen heart, and taught me what it's there for and what I should do with it!" No, that's not a joke, that's what she really said. Literally. Shocking, isn't it? You'd think that would have to be a joke.
Roddy's family is there to take custody of him, and he's clearly very happy to see them.
This week's HoH competition is a dorky thing where they look at videotape and try to remember what happens . Jason wins. That'll be interesting. Everyone consoles Danielle, unaware that she most likely threw it. Jason openly requests the Moulin Rouge! soundtrack as his CD. Hmm, I don't know if I would have picked him as a show tunes guy. Interesting.
In a week, it's a two-hour festival of dysfunction, featuring nominations, the veto meeting, and the eviction.
We do go back to the house to talk briefly to the houseguests. They all talk about how much they "love" Roddy, including Marcellas, who has done nothing but bitch about Roddy for weeks. Julie asks Amy again whether she really, truly would have preferred to veto Roddy and see herself evicted instead. She says yes. Julie still can't believe it. The Chen snarks on Jason a bit about his hair, and then she goes to Marcellas. For no particular reason except that she's filling time and Marcellas annoys her, Julie asks Marcellas to whom he thinks he owes the fact that he's still in the house. She wants to know whether he'll have the balls to admit that the answer is "Gerry." Three points for the Chen. He doesn't. He attributes it to Roddy and Kiki, for being his boosters when no one else liked him. You suck, Marcellas. Asked what they miss most from the outside world, Danielle says, "Sex." Because her husband isn't embarrassed enough yet, apparently. And Amy says, "Libations." Sigh.
And that's basically how the episode ends -- with Danielle, back in the house, talking endlessly about her "needs." Those would be the sex needs. Those would be the chicka-bamp-chicka-wow needs. Needs. She has needs. She says it a few more times. Needs, needs, needs. Needs. Needs. Shut up, Danielle.