Earth is horrible. Everybody deals with this in different ways, but the major one is Dualla blowing her brains out after a last lovely date with Apollo. It's probably the worst thing that's ever happened on this show, which is saying a hell of a lot. Additional props to Weddle & Thompson, who master an elliptical, time-hopping script Michael Taylor could be proud of, and manage not to explain every single second to us while it's happening. Awesome. So, you're asking: besides Dee, who else is suicidal? Everybody. Just everybody. You know how this show works.
After Adama decides to go looking for a hospitable planet that doesn't totally suck, Three's all, "Leave me here in the radiation and horrible shit like Ajax so I can just feel sorry for myself and then die." Laura Roslin literally burns the prophecies of Pythia a page at a time, whilst crying. Admiral Adama takes Dee's death especially hard, of course, and tries to get Colonel Tigh to kill him for about twenty minutes before finally just pointing a gun at his own head. I don't know why more people don't watch this show. It's so fun.
Meanwhile, Kara finds her blown-up Viper and her total dead body, which she incinerates in a very Bergman way, because what else are you going to do but bury her? The funniest part about that is how it's so weird even Leoben is like, "Girl, I am out of here." Also while down on nuked Earth -- which happened about 2000 years ago -- the Final Four come to some conclusions: namely, that they were there during the nuclear blast. This is because -- we learn after some amateur archaeology -- everybody on Earth was Cylon, not human. Chief was at the Farmer's Market when it hit; Sam played the guitar. And Saul was searching desperately for his wife: Ellen Tigh, the final Cylon.
Which is fine, because Saul Tigh is like the one person on this show who deserves a break, and their love is for real et cetera, but also because: no matter who it was, I was hoping they'd just tell us right away so people would find something new to talk about. I guess I should have been more specific about that wish, because "OMG Anastasia Dualla just blew her fucking brains out" is not really the topic I would have chosen. Stay tuned for week when Hera gets started mainlining heroin and FOX News; Boomer spends six hours at the DMV; and Lee, Kara, the rest of the Cylons, and the cast of the entire Stargate franchise commit cascading ritual suicide in a Broadway salute to Busby Berkeley.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then get