Planetarium Of The Apes

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Team Prez goes questing for the Tomb of Athena. Adama starts questing for Team Prez, with Tyrol and Billy for company. Meier tells Boomer that her other incarnation was killed and tries to recruit her into the assassination plot. Adama meets up with Team Prez and there's some hugging. And also some choking, when Adama sees Boomer. Adama's heart isn't quite up to the task, though, so Boomer survives and gets to have an awkward reunion with Tyrol. Well, it's awkward for Tyrol and Helo; she seems fine with it. Now that everyone's reunited, Zarek nixes the assassination plan, but Meier strikes out on his own. Boomer agrees to kill Adama, while Meier will kill Apollo. When they find the Tomb of Athena, Boomer turns on Adama...and then keeps on turning, and shoots Meier. With that sorted out, they enter the tomb, and find a statue of Sagittaron that's missing its arrow. Starbuck puts the Arrow of Apollo on the bow, which plops them all into...a hologram? Let's just assume it was a hologram. They're in a field where they can see the twelve symbols of the colonies mirrored in the constellations above them. Starbuck works out that Earth is a place where all twelve constellations are visible. Apollo, slightly more practically, recognizes the Lagoon Nebula, and figures that they can use it as a fingerpost. Then they can't figure out how to exit the hologram (or whatever) and starve to death in there. Okay, no; instead they get out somehow, and Adama makes a speech reinstating the Prez, and then leads everyone in a prolonged slow clap, so my version's better. Back on the Galactica, Baltar is fed up with Six, so he gets a checkup from Cottle to find out if there really is a chip in his brain. There's not. However, he overhears Boomer and Helo talking and confirms Six's statements about there being a baby on the way. Six explains everything: she's an angel, sent to protect Baltar while the human race is exterminated. How nice for him! Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Previously: Tigh didn't say a different version of the thing he didn't say last week, Cally shot Boomer, and Zarek schemed.

We open with a grand montage of continuation. On Kobol, the Prez is doing a terrible job of protecting her book of prophecies from the rain.

On Galactica, Adama, Gaeta, Tyrol, and Tigh are marking up a map of Kobol. There's a close-up of the Book of Pythia, which is either handwritten or printed to look like it is.

A page of the Prez's copy has apparently fallen out, so she carefully picks it up and tries to brush the mud off of it. Then she clutches it to her chest. She, and the rest of Team Prez, are wearing ponchos. Woman, slip the book underneath the poncho when you're not looking at it. Pressing it to your chest just turns it into a pulpy sponge that much faster. Sheesh.

Adama sighs, "She could be anywhere." Gaeta says that the Prez seems to rely on the Book of Pythia, and that, according to it, the Tomb of Athena should be in the mountains west of the City of the Gods.

Team Prez climbs a hill.

Tyrol says that, while on Kobol, they scouted out approaches to the mountains. Perhaps while looking for a nice spot for some burials.

Zarek is climbing a particularly steep incline when he slips in the mud and starts to slide downhill. Meier instantly grabs Zarek's hand and pulls him up. I think Meier's a little bit codependent.

Tigh wonders how the Prez expects to find the tomb with so few clues to go on. Adama says, "Well, maybe she's seen it in a vision." Everyone chuckles in appreciation of Adama's joke, until he says, "I'm serious." Oops. And hee. Tigh continues to look at Adama like this is just setup for some bigger joke. Adama explains, "She says she sees things. Images, prophecies, whatever." Off their skeptical glances, he adds, "The point is that she believes in them." Tyrol helpfully says that he can't imagine poking around on Kobol without a map or a guide. This statement seems to have almost no connection to what Adama just said, because it's really just transitioning us back to...

...Boomer marching up the hill with Helo. I can't believe they brought Helo along. I like Helo a lot, but it does make everyone seem kind of stupid. Helo is the only motive for Boomer to behave herself. The Prez knows that. Bringing him along makes it very easy for Boomer to run off with him, if she is leading them all into a trap. And normally they're very good about having characters see angles like that, so it's disappointing that they don't this time. Oh well. Boomer suggests that they should find somewhere to wait for the storm to end. That would have made more sense if it were just starting to rain now, but at this point they're already drenched.

Gaeta says that, according to the rescue team that went to Kobol, there weren't any Basestars or Raiders lurking. Nope, just ground forces building missile launchers. Nothing to worry about there. Adama suggests jumping directly into Kobol's upper atmosphere in case things have changed. Gaeta ahems, "That's risky, and it's certainly not possible with a ship of this size." Adama says he's going in a Raptor. Consternation abounds. Adama says that the Galactica can't leave the rest of the fleet undefended, and that taking everyone is too risky. Tigh says that they can send a search party, but Adama more-or-less reasonably explains, "I'm the only one that can reach out to Roslin. It's always been between us anyway." He cheerfully adds, "Even in body bags, we're gonna be coming back together." Yay?

Zarek tells the Prez that he's going to call the Astral Queen and see if they can get picked up until the rain ends. Apollo huffs, "All com traffic goes through me. Try to remember that." Apollo and the Prez move on, and Meier asks Zarek how much longer they're going to wait till they kill Apollo. I'm kind of identifying with Meier here. Is that wrong? Zarek tells Meier to keep watching Apollo. Dude, Meier's already only slightly less obsessed with Apollo than he is with you; don't encourage him.

Credits. 47,855 survivors. Blipverts: plummeting, targeting, flashing, spelunking. This show sure has a lot of little non-story bits that I feel compelled to describe every week. Especially given that three of them are basically montages.

Commercials. I'm kinda bummed that I missed Pterodactyl. If you doubt me, I missed it because I was watching Alone in the Dark at the time. About which I can only say: gosh.

When we return, the rain has stopped. Boomer points out a summit in the distance that's topped by a pair of rocks that poke up like kitty ears. She says, "I think those are the Gates of Hera." They still look more like kitty ears to me. Starbuck sniffs, "You think?" Boomer gets defensive about how she's putting together clues from a lot of different sources and adds, "If I'm right, that's the spot where your gods supposedly stood and watched Athena throw herself down onto the rocks below out of despair over the exodus of the thirteen tribes." Way to surrender to destiny, Athena. Zarek asks, "'Supposedly'? I thought the Cylons believed in the gods." Starbuck quickly sums up the Cylon conversion to monotheism. Boomer claims, "We know more about your religion than you do." When nobody takes advantage of this opening to, y'know, delve, Boomer goes on: "Athena's Tomb, whoever and whatever she really was, is probably up there." Starbuck eyes the hills and tells the Prez that they won't be able to climb the hill before dark. The Prez says they'll see how far they can get.

Galactica. Baltar is poking about in the cell that was constructed for Boomer. Why? Because he's Baltar. The cell is empty except for a bed and a chair. He mutters that it's depressing, and says, "Part of me is glad [that] Sharon never made it in here." He turns, and Six is there. She's sitting on a chair that's turned around so that the back is in front of her. Oh yeah, and she's naked, which is why the chair's placement is important. Six smirkingly declares that their child will be born in the cell. Baltar stares at the walls and puffs on his cigarette, and Six whines that he's not listening. Baltar explains, "I've had enough. Do you seriously expect me to listen to you while you sit around stark naked?" Six looks down like suddenly she's embarrassed, heh. Baltar refers to their "mythical" child, and asks if she knows how ridiculous she is: "I'm the father of a baby who will be born to me from my fantasy woman who I see solely in my head." He says that she's not even his fantasy woman anymore, and concludes, "You're nothing more than a common tease." Six, still looking hurt, replies, "I never said I would bear the child." Baltar merrily asks who will be giving birth to their child, then, and wonders if it might be Starbuck. Six glares at him and says he's in "dangerous territory." Baltar eyes his cigarette casually and says he's really scared. He asks what this week's threat is: "Don't tell me, I'll guess. The ship's gonna blow up!" Six looks away, smiling like she's about to burst out laughing.

Baltar continues to pace around the cell, pondering what else could happen. "Yes, of course, me! I'm gonna explode! Good! God is gonna make me spontaneously combust in a great big ball of flame, and then the whole crew of Galactica can celebrate on ambrosia. Get really drunk." Heh. He turns, and Six is laughing breathlessly. And she's now wearing sweats, with her hair pulled back into a ponytail. Six pulls herself together and admits that Baltar's right: "Game's over. You win." Baltar, confused, asks what he won, while Six turns the chair around and casually props her feet up on the bed. She advises him to "wake up and smell the psychosis." Six cheerfully explains that there's no chip in Baltar's head: "I'm not real. You're not really getting secret messages from the Cylons. You're just crazy." Baltar stares at her numbly and finally declares this to be quite funny. Six happily confirms that Baltar doesn't believe her, and cackles some more as Baltar tells her to stop playing games. Six apologetically says it's the truth. Baltar sits down and asks the briefly empty chair, "Then who, or what, are you?" Six says that she's his subconscious. She stands up, and Baltar jumps up and backs away as she explains, "You helped the Cylons commit genocide against your own people, and your fragile little mind couldn't handle it. So poof, I appear and start telling you how special you are. How God has chosen you. Yeah, right." Throughout this, Baltar keeps backing up, stumbling over the furniture in his efforts to keep away from her. Six sits down again, and Baltar fretfully says that he doesn't like her games, and turns for the door. Six suggests that he could go to sickbay and get a brain scan: "That would settle it, wouldn't it?" While Baltar ponders that, Six adds, "Go ahead. I dare you." Baltar rushes out, his hand to his mouth like he's about to throw up. Tee hee.

Raptor One leaves the Galactica for Kobol. On board, Tyrol goes over the map awkwardly until the pilot gets exasperated and grabs the map from him. Tyrol grumbles, "Topography's for pansies anyway." Heh. Adama asks someone we can't see, "How're you feeling? Diplomatic?" The camera reverses to reveal Billy, who says that he doesn't think this is a good idea. He claims that the last time he saw the Prez, she wasn't very happy with him. Hm, she seemed disappointed rather than angry, but to Billy those might look like the same thing. Adama assures Billy that the Prez will listen to him, and Billy protests some more until Adama declares, "She thinks you'll be president one day." Billy gulps, "Excuse me?" Adama says that the Prez told him that Billy reminded her of President Adar. Billy looks nervous and admits that he's not sure how to respond to that. Adama calmly says, "Don't let it go to your head. Adar was a moron." Hee. Then they get set to jump into Kobol's atmosphere.

The Raptor winks out of space, and then winks back in and begins to plummet toward Kobol. The bottom of the ship glows with heat as it descends. Pretty!

The pilot reports that no Cylons seem to be lurking about. As his cheek ripples in the G-forces, Adama shouts, "Having good luck already." Billy squints and his lips flop about as he strains himself making a thumbs-up gesture.

The Raptor falls below the clouds and then fires up its thrusters and zooms over the planet's surface.

Oh, it's raining again. I think Helo might be a rain god. Team Prez has set up a campsite, and the Prez sits alone under a shelter and looks over her waterlogged book. Helo is unwrapping a candy bar as he cuddles with Boomer.

Apollo and Starbuck sit under a tree to gossip. Apollo says that seeing Helo with Boomer gives him the creeps. Starbuck says that Helo knows what Boomer is, and loves her anyway. Apollo keeps on glaring at the lovebirds and asks, "How can one of us get that roped in by one of them?" He suggests that they should keep an eye on Helo. Yes! You also shouldn't have brought him along! Starbuck insists that Helo is her friend, and one of the good guys. Apollo sneers, "Sharon was a friend of yours too." You didn't seem to pick up on her weirdness either, bonehead.

Helo says that he feels like he's back on Caprica. If they do ever make it to Earth, I bet he settles in Seattle. Boomer says she prefers it where they are, and says that it feels like home to be back with the Galactica crew. Helo points out, "But you were never in the fleet. That was the other Sharon." Boomer says that she remembers training and serving on the Galactica as if she did it. She notes that this is weird, which is understating things a tad, and Helo coos, "That's okay. I like weird." If you're Helo, I think you'd pretty much have to, unless you want to turn into Baltar.

Meier and Zarek stare at the Prez and talk about how upset she is about Elosha's death. Unlike the rest of the world, which found it kind of a relief. Meier quickly moves back to his favorite topic: killing Apollo. He's kind of fixated, really. Zarek says that it may take a while to reach the tomb. Meier gets huffy that Zarek's not enthusiastic enough about plotting murder. Meier, maybe you should take a page from some of the other characters and develop a hobby of some kind? Zarek, for instance, has taken up coining aphorisms: "Getting blood on your hands is a lot harder than washing it off." Meier proposes that they should get Boomer to kill Apollo for them, and then kill her. Why don't you just kill Apollo and claim that Boomer did it? Because, really, getting someone else to commit murder for you isn't actually a huge step up morally from doing it yourself. Your solution is just making things more complicated. I think Zarek's whole problem is that he can't find good help. Zarek doesn't veto the idea, but repeats that nothing can happen until they find the tomb.

Commercials. In the podcast, Moore and Eick explain that the "Topography's for pansies" line was originally "Topography's for pussies." Also, Adama originally told Billy that President Adar was a prick. Moore's description of how he tried to defend both terms to Standards & Practices is rather entertaining. They should take a page from Profit, and put something completely gratuitous in the episodes, so that they can make deals like, "Well, if we cut Baltar's panty-sniffing scene, can we keep the word 'prick'?"

It's daytime, and as they trudge through the forest, Helo asks, "How much further?" Boomer corrects him, "'Farther,'" and explains, "'Farther' describes actual distance. Further is more figurative." This leads to banter about Boomer's being smarter than Helo, which isn't that big an achievement. Especially since, while "further" is more commonly used to describe abstracts, it's not incorrect to use it to describe physical distances. In fact, the attempt to distinguish the two seems to be limited to the United States. Anyway, Helo finally says, "The baby can have your brains as long as he gets my looks." Boomer smirks, "That'd be a real blessing for her." Helo confirms that the baby's a girl. And they walk on. That was enlivening. They left this in, but they cut a bit later where Billy tells the Prez that he's an atheist. That scene sounded funnier, honestly.

Elsewhere in the marching order, Starbuck is yapping to the Prez about her visit to Caprica. She thinks the Cylons have plans for Caprica, since they're clearing out the bodies and rebuilding. She burbles that there's also a human resistance there, plus there's this guy who's like, so totally cool, and almost completely devoid of personality! Starbuck thinks that the fleet should put together some kind of rescue mission for the survivors on Caprica. The Prez interrupts to say that she's grateful for Starbuck's help, but right now, she can't think about anything but finding the tomb. With a dismissive "Thank you," she walks on while Starbuck sulks.

Aboard Galactica, Baltar is getting an MRI. In a windowed enclosure, Cottle fusses over the computers. Six, still in her casual wear, appears by Baltar's feet and whispers, "Comfy?" Baltar grunts that he can't talk or move. Six giggles, "Then you certainly wouldn't want me to do this..." and reaches for his crotch. Baltar twitches up and bonks his head against the top of the MRI. An error message appears on Cottle's computer screen, and he grumbles, "Oh, for...I told you not to move!" From inside the machine, Baltar looks over and apologizes. Cottle mutters to himself that he'll have to start over. Inside the MRI, Baltar echoes that idea, only in a panicky way. Six, now at the other end of the machine, strokes Baltar's forehead as he asks why she's doing this. Six tells him, "Even back when you weren't nuts, there was always that little voice in your head. That little voice helping you through the rough times, remember?" Oh, he had a little voice! Just like Magnum! Magnum saw a lot of ghosts and spooky things, too. It would be fantastic if they had Tom Selleck as a guest star on this show. Six says she's just another version of that voice. Baltar rejects that idea and insists, "God has a plan for me." Six starts snickering again as she says, "Yeah, God has a plan, and there is a God, and he talks to Gaius Baltar!" Baltar tries to roll over, and shouts, "Shut up, will you!" at an empty corner of the room. Cottle oys, and steps out of the computer bay to say, "Will you stop going crazy in there?" He actually says it like a question, too. Heh. Baltar turns his head to look at Cottle, and looks about as batshit as possible as he grrs, "I'm not crazy." Cottle, wisely, does not reply, and looks a little bit scared as he returns to his computers.

Another campsite! Or, you know, the same one from a different angle. Meier and Boomer are collecting firewood and working on an alliance a little ways away from camp. Meier says that once they find the tomb, Apollo will have her killed. He reminds her that the other Boomer shot Adama, and Boomer insists that it wasn't her. Meier asks whether she remembers shooting Adama, and after avoiding the question at first, Boomer says that she doesn't. Meier asks if she knows what happened to the other Boomer. She doesn't, so Meier drops the bomb: "She was murdered by one of the crew, and everyone aboard Galactica just let it happen." Boomer looks shocked, and Meier tells her to ask Apollo if she doubts it. He adds, "They're not going to let your child be born." The discussion is interrupted by the whirr of a bird taking flight, and they both duck. Not because of the bird, but because of whatever startled the bird. Just so we're clear.

Back at camp, Apollo makes a "hush" gesture at the Prez, and then loudly whispers, "Psssst! Starbuck!" I think that wasn't supposed to make me laugh, but it did. Starbuck gets up and grabs her gun as Apollo gestures toward the noises in the brush. As Helo gets up, Starbuck calls, "High-low," to Apollo. She and Helo take cover behind trees as Apollo prepares to spring out of the Prez's tent. Meier and the other, mute member of Zarek's posse spy down on the scene from a small ridge. Apollo whirls out of the tent and finds himself pointing a gun at his father.

Everyone boggles for a second. Starbuck lowers her gun first, and then Helo does the same. Apollo and Adama continue pointing their guns at each other. I think Apollo's just too surprised even to remember that he's holding a gun, honestly, but Adama finally says, "Put down your weapon, Captain." Why I love Adama this week: he ain't lowering his gun first. Once Apollo lowers his weapon, Adama does the same. And gives Apollo a good glare for a minute, while Apollo looks sort of abashed and self-conscious. Which I find sort of appealing, oddly. Then Adama's face starts to crumple up, and then he reaches an arm out and pulls Apollo into a hug, aw. The Prez watches coolly, because she probably figures she's not getting a hug. Adama looks over at her with a relieved smile while continuing to cradle Apollo against his shoulder, and says, "It's good to see you." The Prez starts to smile, and then Billy says, "Madame President?" The Prez turns to him and gasps, "You have no idea what it means to me to have you here. I'm all out of chamalla -- can you be a dear and go fetch my handbag from Caprica One?" Or something like that. Starbuck sidles into view, looking like a whipped dog. Adama, having finally released Apollo, walks over to her, and you know, I want to say he's beaming at her, but the corners of his mouth are really turned up just a few millimeters more than usual. For him, it's beaming. He pushes a clump of hair out of her face tenderly while she keeps on looking mopey.

Now that the cockles of our hearts have been warmed, it's time for some violence, yay! Boomer steps into view. I meant to mention earlier how nice it is that they left her in her orange prison jumpsuit. Because that doesn't stand out in all the greenery or anything. Tyrol is the first to spot her, and he raises his rifle and calls to Adama. Adama turns and stares. I wonder if he's staring because, like me, he just noticed what wide shoulders Boomer has. Probably not. Helo takes in the situation and reassuringly calls, "She's with us, Commander." It's sort of endearing that he thinks that'll solve everything, isn't it? Or is it just dumb? Adama looks her up and down, and if he was beaming before, this is the opposite. He walks toward Boomer, continuing to eye her like he's trying to spot something marking her as different. You've gotta give Boomer props for holding up under the scrutiny of a anti-beaming Adama. Then Adama starts to look sad, and there are some more flashbacks that we really didn't need, and I know they want to make it accessible and all, but it's still annoying. We see Boomer shoot Adama, and we see Adama ask her corpse, "Why?" And then Adama shoots an arm out, grabs Boomer by the neck, and hurls her to the ground with such force that both of her feet leave the ground. She's petite and everything, but that's still kind of impressive. Everyone rushes in to try to pull Adama away. Everyone except Apollo, who pulls out a rifle and warns Zarek back. Apollo leans down into Boomer's face as she squeezes her neck and calmly says, "I want you to die."

Commercials. Originally, the confrontation between Adama and Apollo there was supposed to be a little less tense: Apollo would have a gun ready, but Adama wouldn't, so his "Put down your weapon" was going to be lighter. But Olmos wanted to play it the way we saw, and that was fine with them. I think I do like it better this way, because Adama's sort of humbling himself just by going to Caprica, and while he's right to do it, I can totally believe that he'd be like, "Look, I'll come here, I'll make the gesture, but I'll be damned if I let my own son outdraw me."

When we return, there's a shot from the distance that, on the one hand, makes things look sort of calmer than they should be. But it does clearly show Helo hurrying toward the fracas as Starbuck turns and walks away. The Prez tugs at Adama and calls, "Commander, please don't -- we need her!" Adama hisses, "Die." Boomer's arms fall back limply, but then Adama groans and clutches at his chest. Apollo puts his gun down and tries to help as Adama collapses onto Boomer. Boomer whispers into Adama's ear, "And you asked why." At that, Adama jumps, and pushes himself off of her. Helo helps up a coughing Boomer, and everyone looks around like, "Well, that could have gone better." Meier gives Boomer a pointed look.

Galactica. In sickbay, Cottle and Baltar are looking over the pretty images of the inside of his thinkbox. Cottle sums it up: "Nothing, nothing. More nothing. Are you satisfied?" Baltar pushes his glasses up with his middle finger and peers at the scans intently before thanking Cottle. He confirms that Cottle's completely sure that there aren't any "unidentified objects" in his head. Cottle huffs, "You can obsess over these as much as you like -- on your own time." Cottle leaves, sighing, "Frackin' hypochondriac. One on every bloody ship." And while I realize nothing is going to stop people from theorizing, it seems to me that the intent of this little plotline is to say, there's nothing physically present that causes Baltar to see Six. Because, really, if ten episodes from now Baltar finds out that actually, there was a chip in his toe instead? That's lame. They could do it, but it'd suck. If I want to be yanked around like that, I'll watch Lost, y'know? I'd much rather have no explanation than a stupid explanation.

Kobol. Adama and the Prez are having a little conference in her tent. Adama goes over the Prez's faults: "You interfered with a military mission, and you broke your word to me." The Prez rather impishly notes that he's more upset about the second part. Adama ignores that, and says that he forgives her. They smile for a second, and then the Prez says she didn't ask for forgiveness. Adama nods, "Well, you have it anyway."

Meanwhile, Helo is shocked at the way Adama reacted to Boomer. Boomer tells him that the other Boomer was killed: "In cold blood. Not even a trial." Helo makes a face like he's trying to think. And then they're interrupted when Tyrol strolls over to say hi. While Helo tries practicing his glare on a nearby tree, Tyrol and Boomer look at each other. She gets up and says, "Hello, Chief." Tyrol confirms that she remembers him, and Boomer beams and walks over while Helo looks put-upon. Boomer tells Tyrol, "We haven't met, but I remember you." After a moment, she reaches out to hug him, and Tyrol jerks back in surprise but then lets her embrace him. Little jagged "angry" cartoon lines spring out of Helo's head. Boomer tells Tyrol, "It's good to see you," and kisses his cheek before releasing him. Tyrol backs away, and exits silently, wondering if there's a good therapist among the fleet. Although, if there is, I bet he's booked up for the few years.

Cut to Zarek and Meier, pissing. Hee. I do respect the fact that they tried to give them activities that gave them an excuse to leave camp. Because otherwise you'd expect someone to say, "Have you noticed that Meier keeps wandering off with Zarek, and then with Boomer, and then with Zarek again?" Anyway. Meier asks what happens now. Zarek chuckles ruefully and says that they're back where they started, "under the yoke of President Roslin and Commander Adama." Meier says that they could go back to the Astral Queen with a map to Earth, "and a sad story of how many people were killed down on Kobol by the Cylons." Zarek zips up and says, "Let it go. For now." Zarek gives him an "I mean it" look for good measure, and Meier looks heartbroken. All he ever wanted in his whole life was to kill Apollo.

The Prez tells Adama that Starbuck found a resistance on Caprica. She says, "Maybe your impulse the day the Cylons attacked was right. Maybe we should have stayed and fought for our homes." Adama says, "I didn't come here to navel-gaze. Or to catalogue our mistakes." He says that leaving the Colonies was the right decision then, and it's the right decision now. "'Cause every moment of every day since then is a gift." The Prez coos, "From the gods." Adama says, "No, from you." Great, Adama, add to her messiah complex. He says that she's the one who convinced him to go. If they hadn't, he'd be dead, and so would Apollo. Having wrapped that up, he suggests it's time to go find the Tomb of Athena.

Apparently, Boomer has cleverly distracted Helo from that whole freaky thing with Tyrol by mentioning her predecessor's death again. She could have just pointed at something shiny and had the same result. Helo boggles that Cally committed murder and only got thirty days in the brig. Boomer tries again to explain, "They don't see it as murder, Helo." She tells him that everyone sees her as a thing, not as a person. Of course, so do her fellow Cylons. Helo insists that he won't stand by and let them hurt her. Boomer sighs that she believes him, without adding, "I don't think you alone are really going to be able to stop them if it comes to that." They hug, and Boomer adds that she's going to have to take matters into her own hands. Helo pulls away and asks what she means. Boomer asks if he loves her. Helo does. She asks if he trusts her. He does. Then Adama comes over and gives them a little origami robot. Well, actually, Boomer says, "Then don't ask me what I have to do." Helo's not really keen on that, but Boomer presses her fingers to his mouth and tells him, "Trust me. Trust us."

Commercials. Remember last week when I was kind of excited about The Brothers Grimm? Never mind. I really like Gilliam, even Baron Munchausen, but it's a mess.

As they walk across the hilltop, Meier sidles up to Boomer and asks whether she's thought about their conversation. Boomer has. She tells him, "When we get to the entrance, they'll be distracted. I'll take the father, and you take the son." The camera pulls back to show the edge of a carved rock, and Boomer calls the others to come see.

Everyone troops up to a cave entrance blocked by a stone door. Boomer looks around at the Prez, who gives her a small smirk of gratitude. Then the Prez asks if Starbuck has the Arrow handy. As Starbuck starts to open her plastic quiver, Boomer pulls a gun out of her jumpsuit and whirls around to aim at Adama. Apollo starts to raise his rifle, and Meier points his own gun at Apollo's forehead. Oh, don't shoot him there, that's his least vulnerable point! And then Boomer turns, and pauses just long enough for Meier to think, "Whoopsie." Boomer shoots Meier in the gut. Zarek's other flunky draws and starts to aim, presumably at Apollo, but Apollo pegs him in the head and then whirls back to aim at Boomer. Adama raises his arms out as Boomer faces him again. Still aiming at him, she very rapidly says, "I'm Sharon, but I'm a different Sharon. I know who I am. I don't have hidden protocols or programs lying in wait to be activated. I make my own choices, I make my own decisions, and I need you to know this is my choice." She hands her gun to Adama. Adama calmly takes it, and shoots her. No, but that would have been awesome, wouldn't it? Instead, everyone's just quiet for a minute, and Adama hands Boomer's gun to Tyrol. Boomer explains that Meier gave her the gun. Meier, flails about weakly on the ground, and nobody seems to mind much. Zarek goes over to him, finally, and Meier gasps, "Just wanted to see you get your due." Zarek huffs, "You never did listen to me." Meier dies, and Zarek sniffles. Everyone else stands around awkwardly.

Starbuck holds the Arrow of Apollo over the door to the cave and grumbles about getting the door open. The Prez recites, "And the Arrow of Apollo will open the Tomb of Athena." Starbuck doesn't seem to find that particularly helpful. Adama suggests a more practical approach, and asks Helo to join in as he, Billy, and Apollo try to shove the rock door open. The door moves a little, and Adama lets the younger kids take over. The door swings inward, and Apollo turns back and tells Starbuck, "After you." Starbuck smugly leads the procession, not thinking that maybe there's a trap right inside the door. Adama nods for the Prez to go in, and tells Helo to wait outside. Then Adama calls Tyrol forward and quietly says, "Guard everybody." Hee. So Tyrol is left to watch Helo, Boomer, and Zarek. Helo looks a little hurt. Zarek and Boomer are just like, "Yeah, I figured."

Inside, they find a large vault with lots of broken statues scattered about. But it's surprisingly clean, really. Starbuck asks, "If the arrow didn't actually open the tomb, how do we know this is the right place?" Adama says that they don't, but it sure looks like a tomb. Starbuck gasps that the statues are "the icons of the twelve tribes, the twelve colonies." Poor Billy looks at one statue and says, "This could be Picon, the fish." They all play "name that statue" for a while, while Adama looks bored. Until the Prez finds "Sagitarron, the archer." Adama looks at the statue's empty bow and grunts, "He's missing something." The music gets spooky as Starbuck walks forward and gingerly places the Arrow of Apollo on the bow. As she drops it into place, the cave door slams shut and everything goes black. They really should have brought a lantern.

There's a flash of white, and an overhead shot of everyone standing in a circle. And then they're in a field at night. Apollo and Starbuck spin around, their guns ready. Eventually, we get a wide shot, which reveals that they're standing in the middle of a circle of monoliths. With little glowy lights making symbols on the faces of the rocks. Luckily for me, Capricorn is in the center of the frame, because that's the only one I'd be likely to recognize. Billy asks, "Where the hell are we?" The Prez says she thinks it's the Tomb of Athena. Adama says he thought that's what the cave was, and Starbuck hisses, "I think that was the lobby." Above each rock, we can see the same constellation in the sky. The Prez points that out, and says, "These patterns were on the original flags of the twelve colonies back in the days when the colonies were called by their ancient names." There's another round of "identify the constellations." Apollo says that what they're standing in is the map to Earth. Adama asks, "So is Earth in one of these constellations?" Starbuck looks awed and whispers, "We're standing on it." She explains, "The scriptures say that when the thirteenth tribe landed on Earth, they looked up into the heavens and they saw their twelve brothers." The Prez spells out that Earth is where these twelve constellations are visible. Starbuck gets over her awe long enough to wonder, "What are we supposed to do? Search the entire galaxy for one particular star pattern?" Billy says, "That's crazy, but it would be a bitching premise for a TV show." Apollo points up at Scorpio and identifies the Lagoon Nebula, near Sagittarius. But the point is that he recognizes it. Adama says, "It's a long way from here." Apollo gets all Shatneresque for a second as he says, "But at least now. We have. A map, and a direction."

Cut to the Galactica. Adama's in his dress uniform, and he's speechifying to a huge assembly on the hangar deck. There are a lot more people in suits than in uniforms in the crowd, so I think it's probably representatives from throughout the fleet. So anyway, the speech. Adama says, "Our strength and our only hope as a people is to remain undivided. We haven't always done all we could to insure that." Moving on...he says that some people think the scriptures might be helpful, and refrains from agreeing or disagreeing. Instead, he notes, "The gods shall lift those who lift each other. And so, to lift all of us, let me present once again the President of the Colonies, Laura Roslin." Given the size of the crowd, they effectively bestow a smattering of applause upon the Prez as she walks up to the podium. Tigh is motionless, heh. The applause dies away as the Prez prepares to speak, and Adama is clearly dissatisfied. He glares out at the audience and claps his hands together slowly. Oh, sigh. Everyone looks bemused, but joins in on the monumental slow clap of doom. Even Tigh gives in and taps his hands together. I wish they'd ease up on this stuff. It would actually have some meaning if I didn't feel like I was supposed to be all rah-rah every other episode. And if I feel that way watching it, I can't imagine what it'd be like to live that way. This is why I brought puzzles to pep rallies. Or hid out in the art room. So, whatever, Adama terrifies everyone into applauding, and they whoop it up for the Prez, yay. The Prez beams out at them all like she didn't just watch them get bullied into this show of enthusiasm.

Boomer lies on the bed in the cell that was meant for the Boomer. Helo raps on the window, and she picks up a phone to talk to him. Boomer tells him that she's okay. The camera pans over to show a one-way mirror, behind which Baltar is lurking. He eavesdrops as Helo says, "I don't want our baby born in this cell." Holy God, Helo, that's, like, eight months away. The cowbell theme of Baltar's looniness is cued up, and Six, back in her formalwear, slides into view. Baltar asks, "Their child?" Six says she told Baltar so, and asks, "How could you ever doubt me?" Well, you also told him you were part of his craziness, so it's kind of a catch-22. Baltar confirms, "Boomer is going to bear our child?" Six sniffs that Boomer doesn't really deserve such an honor, "but one doesn't question God's will." Baltar says that Six isn't a chip, and she agrees. But since she was right about Boomer's pregnancy, he figures she's not just Baltar's subconscious, either. He rather nervously concludes, "I'm not..." Six finishes, "Crazy?" Baltar says, "No!" But he'd like to know what she is, then. Six duhs, "I'm an angel of God sent here to protect you. To guide you, to love you." Baltar nervously asks, "To what end?" Six says, "To the end of the human race." Then Baltar says, "No, I meant to what purpose..." Well, really he just looks justifiably terrified as Six cuddles up to him.

Provenance
Original URL
http://www.brilliantbutcancelled.com/show/battlestar-galactica/home-part-ii/
Captured
2020-11-29
Page Type
recap (100%)
Wayback Machine
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