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Gee, the only problem with this show is that it's so slow-paced. Adama's hauled off to sickbay, and Boomer and Apollo are hauled off to the brig. And then the Cylons attack. Tigh decides this is a good time for some flashbacks. Eventually, he wakes up and orders the entire fleet to jump to "emergency coordinates." They do. Only there's a mix-up, courtesy of Gaeta, and the Galactica winds up all alone, with no clue where the fleet is. Crap! Apollo tells the Prez about Adama, and she frets that they have to go back, or else Starbuck won't be able to find them. Meanwhile, on Kobol, Six lectures Baltar about his daughter-to-be. He is rescued from dreams of child support when the other stranded soldiers wake him, because they're moving out. And just in time, too, since someone's started shooting at them. Once they arrive at a more secure section of Canada, they notice that they left the spare med-kit behind. Without which Socinus will die. Tryol, Cally, and the very handsome Targ go back, but after retrieving the kit Targ gets killed mid-banter by snipers. Crap! Are things going any better on Caprica? Bets? Helo and Starbuck argue about whether or not to kill Boomer, for a while. Long enough, in fact, for Boomer to steal Starbuck's pet Raider and get the hell out of there. Cra-- wait, Boomer's gone, and Starbuck's stuck on Caprica with Helo? Sucks for them, but I think I'm good with that. Back on the Galactica, Tigh has to tell the medic that it's up to her to save Adama, since Cottle was on another ship when they all jumped. Tigh also pays a visit to Boomer in the brig, and beats up on her a little to vent some tension. Gaeta is inspired by soap (I dunno) and suggests a way to figure out where the rest of the fleet went. There are only two problems: the first is that they'll have to jump back to where the Cylons are lurking. The second is that they'll have to network the computers while in the midst of the Cylons. But only for ten minutes. Tigh has some more flashbacks, which is maybe why he drinks so much, and then okays Gaeta's plan. Apollo is let out "on parole" to lead the fighters. The Galactica jumps. They fight Cylons. It's so damn awesome. They network their computers. The Cylons try to hack into the network. A Cylon ship that looks kind of like the new Batmobile crashes right into the Galactica, in a non-explody-way, but they've got the coordinates for the rest of the fleet, and jump away. Adama lives, barely, and Tigh's flashbacks conclude with the revelation that, back in the day, Adama got him reinstated in the military just when Tigh was about to set himself on fire. Boomer could take lessons from him in suicidal behavior. But at least they found the fleet. Phew. Oh, but that ship that crashed into the Galactica? It's still aboard. And it's carrying a mess of Centurion robots. ...Crap! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Oo, new intro. "The Cylons were created by man. They evolved. They rebelled." Although the rebelling came before the evolving. "And they have a plan." There are more snippets of the Centurion robots than there used to be. I guess that's so new viewers aren't totally bewildered by the ending of this episode. Especially when there are so many other confusing things going on.
Previously on Battlestar Galactica: explosions, shouting, betrayal, a coup, a mutiny, a baby, and a shooting. Phew.
Apollo, Tigh, and Dualla try to tend to Adama as a medical team rushes in with a gurney. Apollo screams for Cottle. One of the medics explains that Cottle is making rounds in the fleet.
Tigh has a couple of quick flashbacks in which a door with a prominent "3" opens to reveal a mustached Adama. Adama introduces himself as Tigh's new shipmate. They shake hands. Tigh has an unfortunate mop of thinning reddish hair.
Back in real time, the medics do...well, medical things. Nearby, Boomer struggles with the soldiers who grabbed her, and calls, "What happened?" Hee. Tigh tells the soldiers, "Secure that thing in the brig." Boomer gasps and wails as she's dragged off. The medic announces that Adama is breathing again, and they drag him away. In a nicer way than the soldiers dragged Boomer away, probably because instead of whining and moaning, Adama's just bleeding quietly. Gaeta rushes over to a new guy who wasn't around for the first season, and quickly fills him in on what just happened. Gaeta is clearly the ship's gossip. The new guy, who the captions identify as Kelly, is told, "The Colonel's in command -- you're second!" This looks like a prank to me. "Hey everybody, let's tell the new guy that he's second in command!" As if to prove my theory, Gaeta makes a "You're it!" gesture and rushes away. Apollo starts to follow the medics out, but Tigh tells the guards to throw Apollo in the brig. As Apollo brings the "dragged out" total to three, he protests, "Colonel Tigh! He's! My! Fatherrrr!" Obviously the contrasting examples of Boomer and Adama taught Apollo nothing about the value of being quiet. Tigh looks around to see if there's any more dragging to be done, but then asks Kelly if they should expect a Cylon attack. Tigh asks how the Cylons would know the fleet's location. Racetrack speaks up to describe how while they were on the Basestar, Boomer wandered off for a while and returned without her helmet. Kelly suggests jumping to "emergency standby coordinates." Dualla announces that Cottle is currently aboard the Rising Star. Gaeta reports that a Basestar has just appeared on the dradis. Tigh stares up at the screen and gulps. Kelly repeats that they have to jump.
Tigh flashback. Adama says, "Personally, I tend to go with what you know. 'Til something better turns up." All righty. Does that mean anything?
Dualla protests that it'll take Cottle fifteen minutes to get to the Galactica. Tigh figures they'll have to get Cottle aboard after jumping. Gaeta chimes in to remind Tigh about the people stranded on Kobol. Dude, that's not nearly as urgent right now. Okay, yeah, you're just expositioning, fine. Tigh rightly says that the kids on Kobol will have to wait, and blinks twitchily. Dualla readies the fleet to jump.
Apollo is locked in a cell. From her own cell, the Prez notes the blood on Apollo's hands and asks what happened. Apollo numbly announces, "My father's been shot." While the Prez gasps, Apollo stretches his hands out through the bars and quietly asks the guard to remove his cuffs. It's a little weird that the Prez doesn't immediately ask who did it. Yes, we know, but still. The soldier says he wasn't told to uncuff Apollo, so Apollo tries screaming at him. Strangely, that stratagem is ineffective, so Apollo sits down on his bunk and fills the Prez in on Adama's condition and Cottle's absence.
The ships wink out as they jump, and the Galactica follows. Having completed the jump, Tigh asks for a report. Gaeta looks puzzled, and Tigh snaps, "Report!" Gaeta says, "Dradis is empty. No contacts." Oopsie. Tigh asks where the fleet is, and Gaeta looks as blank as the dradis screen. Dualla checks for signals from the other ships, and quickly tells Tigh, "They're gone, sir." Tigh boggles, and thinks, "Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop huffing glue." We pull back to show all of CIC, with the console table still coated in Adama's blood. Ick. And then we pull out further, to an external view of the Galactica We move back and back and back, and see the ship all alone against the stars.
New credits! New (to some of us) music! Hm. Yeah, I preferred the more military sound of the other theme. Ah well. Oh, and now there are even more explanatory title cards: "47,875 survivors in search of a home called Earth." It's good that it isn't narrated, because I'd be unable to resist joining in to shout "...a home called Stinky's Lemonade Stand!" It's a long story. And no montage of clips from the episode. Grump. Spoilerphobes ruin everything.
Commercials. Apparently we can hear exclusive commentary "from Battlestar Galactica" via AOL. Is the ship itself providing commentary? "Does this shot make my rear thrusters look big?"
We return to Baltar's hallucinatory escapades in the Opera House, with the full orchestration and the twelve-part harmony. Baltar and Six stare down at the crib as Six blissfully asks, "Isn't she beautiful?" Baltar looks less blissful as he stares down. Then there's a weird shot where we're suddenly twenty feet behind them, and go zooming toward their backs as Baltar claims, "I don't think I have ever been touched so deeply in my entire life." Six says that he'll make a wonderful father. I assume she's blinded by love; I wouldn't trust Baltar with a goldfish. Baltar nervously asks if Six is speaking metaphorically, and Six replies, "She's our child, Gaius. Our little girl." Baltar turns to look back into the crib, and we see a pudgy little baby-hand. Not, like, severed and flopping about; it's still attached, we just don't see the rest of the kid. Six asks if Baltar wants to hold his daughter, and Baltar says sure, but insists that the baby isn't real, "any more than, uh...any of this is real." Six says that the baby will be with Gaius soon. Baltar blinks painfully and tries again: "I'm having a little difficulty..." He says that he wants to understand, and moves to the other side of the crib before asking, "You're the mother?" Six duhs, "And you're the father." Baltar leans down over the crib and a tear shimmers in his eye. Peculiar.
And, boom. Baltar's lying on the ruins of the Opera House, muttering, "Am I the father?" Cally, standing over him, says, "Excuse me?" Baltar sits up slowly and explains that he was dreaming. Behind him, the other soldiers move into view with Socinus on a litter. Cally explains that they're moving out, and pointedly says, "If you wouldn't mind carrying something this time, that'd be great." Hee. Crashdown looks around through binoculars while the captions remind us that this is the Raptor 1 crash site on Kobol. Selix injects Socinus with a drug called Serisone to help him breathe. I don't think it's a good idea to have a female character whose name starts with "S" and ends in "-ix" around. Unless that's intentional. Socinus immediately starts coughing, so I guess it worked. Now he just needs a lozenge. Baltar asks Crashdown where they're going, and Crashdown explains that they're moving toward the trees so that they can keep an eye on the crash site "in case Galactica sends a rescue party." Baltar doesn't like the uncertainty there, but his quest for reassurance is interrupted by an explosion in the distance. Everyone ducks and proceeds to panic. Crashdown quickly orders everyone to move out, and reminds Selix to get the ammo. Tyrol insists that they should check their supplies before moving. Crashdown snaps that there's no time, and away they go.
Back on Galactica, Tigh's stopped by his quarters for a calming moment with his wife. She helps him to change out of his blood-stained clothes and reminds him to provide some exposition. Tigh obligingly explains, "Every watch, we update our emergency jump calculations with new star fixes to compensate for inertial drift, and then we transmit them to the rest of the fleet." Got that? It seems that, with all the ruckus, Gaeta forgot to make the transmission before the last jump, and so the rest of the fleet is god knows where. Ellen summarizes: "So it's Gaeta's fault." Pretty much, yup. Tigh says that he should have checked before ordering a jump, but Ellen insists, "You don't let people slide. You bust their ass. Now, if Bill doesn't make it --" Tigh cuts off that line of speculation, saying, "This is Bill Adama's ship."
And whoosh, we're in CIC, where Tigh continues that thought: "This is his command. His orders are still the word of the gods on this ship. Just so we're clear." He goes on with the pep talk and concludes with the obligatory "So say we all." They do. With that, Tigh moves to the main console, which someone has tidied up in the interim. He asks Kelly and Gaeta how they'll find the fleet. Kelly says, "If we jump back to our original coordinates, our nav computers can use those star fixes to generate a best fit solution, given the fleet's current position." Tigh points out that their last location was hopping with Cylons, and ask how long they'll have to sit there while they calculate the fleet's position. Gaeta guesses it'll take twelve hours. Tigh sighs, "There's no way we can hold off a Cylon base star for twelve hours." Okay, I totally didn't follow this the first time through, but after some pondering and discussion in the forums, this is my understanding of the situation: the fleet and the Galactica were using the same coordinates, but the calculations necessary for FTL travel were updated and the fleet didn't get the update. The fleet is probably relatively near, but since there's no way of knowing in which direction it is, that doesn't help at all. They have to figure out where the old set of calculations would have taken them, determine the coordinates for that location, redo the calculations for those coordinates, and then jump. So I think the problem makes sense. I'm not convinced that the solution does, but that doesn't bother me quite as much, for some reason.
In the brig, the Prez frets that they have to go back, because Starbuck is going to come looking for the fleet once she's got the arrow. Billy, who's dropped by for a visit, seems skeptical that Starbuck will even find the arrow. The Prez isn't in the mood for cynics, and huffily tells Apollo, "Captain, you've got to get reinstated. You've got to get back to CIC. Got to denounce me, disavow me, do whatever you need to do. Colonel Tigh cannot relocate this fleet on his own without your father." So she's figuring that Adama won't leave Starbuck behind, which is reasonable. Apollo's busy thinking, "If my father dies, and Starbuck never comes back, who am I going to project all of my issues onto?" He does point out that Tigh's unlikely to be in a forgiving mood: "I put a gun to his head. He won't forget that any time soon." Hee. The Prez apologizes for getting Apollo involved in her shenanigans. Apollo brushes it off, saying, "I didn't do it for you. I did it for -- well, actually, I did it for nothing, turns out." Heh. The Prez says that he took a stand, and Apollo harrumphs, "And now look at us." Billy looks down at the floor and wonders, "Can I leave yet? I like the Prez and all, but hanging out in the brig is depressing."
Kobol. The troops move nervously into the woods. Baltar has obeyed Cally's request and is toting several cases of equipment, which makes me snicker. As he trudges along, Baltar sees the pretty white crib among the tree trunks. Baltar's hallucinations signal that it's time for a everyone to take a break for a minute. As they pause to rest, Selix checks on Socinus and asks for the medkit. She scrabbles through the contents while Tyrol wanders over to be reassuring at everyone. Tyrol asks Socinus how he's doing, and Socinus insists that he's okay, adding, "Just listening to the birds." Tyrol looks up as we hear tweeting, and chuckles, "I'll be damned. I don't remember the last time I heard birds." Socinus starts coughing, and then Selix moans that they're out of Serisone. Crashdown tells her to get the other medkit. Handsome Targ asks, "What other medkit?" Whoops. Crashdown snaps, "We pulled two medkits from the ship. I told you to keep an eye on both of them." Targ says that he only saw one. Oh, and it turns out that his name is Tarn, not Targ. The internet lied to me! But I'm just gonna go on calling him Targ, since soon enough we'll all be calling him toast. Anyway, Crashdown and Targ argue with mounting jerkitude until Selix interrupts to point out that Socinus will die without more Serisone. Serisone is the drug, not another character. I don't blame you if you're getting confused by all the "S"-names. Crashdown ponders as best he can, and then declares that since Targ forgot the medkit, Targ will have to go back for it. Nice. Tyrol overhears this from his position guarding the rear and keeping an eye out for old ladies to help across busy streets. He asks Cally to take over and quietly tells Crashdown that Targ can't go alone. Crashdown chuckles, "Are you questioning my orders, Chief?" Tyrol says no, he's pointing out a flaw in Crashdown's plan. Er, he's not questioning the orders, he's just saying they're stupid. Apparently that's okay. Tyrol says that he and Cally can go along with Targ. Crashdown sighs, "Fine," and Tyrol has already started walking away as Crashdown lamely adds, "Would you look out for Cally?" Ha! Crashdown has a crush on Cally! With that, Tyrol takes charge of his little patrol, and they move out.
Caprica. Aw, we're not tracking the days anymore? We pan up from the body of Six, who chance hath slain, and who will never taste death's woe. Boomer makes that same point less poetically, noting, "Her consciousness is being downloaded into another body right now. And when she wakes up, she'll tell them exactly where we are." Helo figures that it's time to get going. Starbuck grouses about taking advice from a Cylon, and Helo retorts, "She helped me get this far." Starbuck says that she knows how Helo felt about Boomer, but insists, "That is some cheap knock-off copy!" Boomer says, "Hey, I'm not cheap!" Well, actually she tries to explain that she's not a copy, but Starbuck seems to be clinging to the idea that there is a real Boomer somewhere, and cuts off the philosophical discussion by drawing her gun and advising Boomer to shut up. Helo jumps in front of the gun and tells Starbuck to chill. Starbuck gripes, "I'm just supposed to be nice to her? Because she says she's pregnant?" She tells Helo to get out of the way, but Helo, being Helo, lunges for the gun while Starbuck's still blustering. Boomer dodges as the gun goes off, and then Helo is holding Starbuck from behind as he explains, "I'm not gonna let you kill her, okay? She's carrying my child." Starbuck struggles a little while snapping, "Men are so painfully stupid sometimes! How do you know that?" Er, the robot bunny died? The camera whirls around for maximum lens flare as Helo says that he just knows. Ah. Starbuck more calmly insists that Cylons always lie. Yeah, yeah: only the Cylons deal in absolutes. She continues, "Their entire existence is a lie. They're not human, Helo. They're machines. You can't have a baby with a machine." She never saw Demon Seed. Lucky girl. Helo repeats that he believes Boomer, and insists that she's not like the others. Starbuck looks up at her crazy, and quite tall, friend sadly, and then there's a whirring noise. Starbuck jumps and rushes out, moaning, "No, no..."
Starbuck runs out of the museum, followed closely by Helo. They're just in time to watch the Raider taking off and zooming the heck out of there. Starbuck rather calmly tells Helo, "Bitch took my ride." Heh. That's a nice enough twist that I won't wonder how Boomer was able to work out how to fly the Raider so easily. And then we cut away before Helo can get all suspicious and ask why Starbuck was flying around in a Cylon ship. Paranoia is so entertaining.
Commercials. I would like to share interesting facts from the podcast, but I waited 'til the last minute to download it and now I'm having technical difficulties, so it's not going to happen. Maybe I'll just make up stuff. Or maybe I've been making up stuff all along! See, paranoia is entertaining.
Galactica. Tigh hurries in to sickbay and asks how Adama's doing. The medic engages in medspeak, which I'll translate as, "Not well." Adama needs surgery soon.
Cue the flashback. Tigh and Adama are in a bar, and it looks like Tigh's fresh from some brawling. There seemed to be a lot of complaints about the youngification of the actors for these flashbacks. Particularly Olmos's mustache. Which is funny to me, because it took me half of the first season to get used to seeing Olmos without a mustache. It doesn't bother me because, as some people noted, Olmos looks pretty much the way he did twenty years ago. Plus, I didn't think this was supposed to be set when Adama and Tigh were teenagers, so casting different actors would have been more distracting than helpful. Anyway. In the flashback, Adama insists that he and Tigh will get back into the fleet. Tigh is a little bit skeptical. The end.
The medic asks when Cottle will arrive. Tigh ums that it'll be a while, and after a moment, he tells the medic that she'll have to do the surgery. She gasps that she's just a medic, and Tigh declares, "Today you're a doctor." I didn't know battlefield promotions worked that way.
Tigh continues his rounds, popping in to the brig. Not the brig where Apollo and the Prez are; another one. Boomer sits in shackles in a large cell. Tigh enters the cell, and we see that guards are in there with Boomer, guns at the ready. Tigh menacingly walks around Boomer, staring at her. The bandage on her cheek is stained with blood, and I swear to you, at this point I thought, "Gee, if someone punches her right there, that'd suck. But it would also be funny." Boomer finally asks how Adama's doing. Tigh continues orbiting her as he grunts, "You bungled the job, if that's what you're asking." Boomer sighs, "Thank the gods," and Tigh promptly backhands her. Right on the jaw, too. Excellent. Tigh asks how many of their pilots are Cylons. Boomer doesn't know. He asks who ordered her to shoot Adam. She says, "No one." Then she adds, "Just get it over with, you frakkin' coward." Tigh punches her, knocking her to the floor, and then hits her with a blipvert of the door with the "3" on it. Er, okay. Tigh asks one of the guards for a gun, and aims it at Boomer's...neck? That's a little odd. Boomer tells him again to get it over with. Tigh remembers his basic anatomy and moves the gun up to the side of Boomer's head. Ah, that's better. But another blipvert of Adama at the door causes him to shove Boomer down, return the gun, and exit. Boomer sobs on the floor of her cell. So it's pretty much status quo for her.
Kobol. Tyrol's squad reaches the ruins of the Opera House. I'm sure that, on the way, Tyrol put a baby bird back in its nest, and also built Cally some comfy yet fashionable shoes out of leaves and bark. Meanwhile, Crashdown has managed to accidentally set his own hair on fire. I'm just saying, they might be overdoing Tyrol's competency just a tiny bit. So: Targ finds the missing medkit. They prepare to head back. Well, that was easy to recap.
And now they're in the woods, headed back to the others. Cally grumbles that she shouldn't have to carry the medkit, since Targ is the one who forgot it. Targ explains that he's on point. Tyrol joins the banter by offering to put Targ on "hangar deck mop-up duty" week. Ah, the first flaw in Tyrol's competence. Listen, Tyrol, you're in a war movie now. You know what happens when people talk about the future in war movies? Targ protests that Crashdown should be the one on mop-up duty. And immediately the glade is sprayed with gunfire. As is Targ's chest. Well, it's a good thing they got that second medkit, right? The shots are coming from the top of the ridge they're passing under. As the shots continue, Tyrol hands Cally his rifle and they both fire up the hillside while trying to get to Targ. Targ occupies himself with some writhing and screaming. Another spray of bullets catches Targ in the leg. And then Matthew Modine finds out the sniper is a woman, and then he thinks he's a bird, and then he rents an apartment to Michael Keaton. Wait, actually, Cally fires up the hill more or less randomly as Tyrol finally manages to run over to Targ and pull him to a slightly more sheltered spot under the ridge. Tyrol keeps telling Targ, "You're okay, you're okay," which, if I were Targ, would bug the hell out of me. Then Tyrol hoists Targ up across his shoulders, and it's really wrong that at this point I was thinking, "Oo, Tyrol's using Targ as body armor! Good thinking!" Tyrol carries Targ toward the camera, and Targ screams in pain.
Commercials. Oh, look, speaking of Full Metal Jacket, there's Adam Baldwin! Oh. It's Firefly. Never mind.
When we return, Cally tells Tyrol, "They're not following us anymore." They've moved an unspecified distance and settled down by a nice tree trunk. The good news is that Targ isn't screaming anymore. The bad news is that Targ isn't screaming anymore. Tyrol sets Targ down and tries to check his wounds, keeping up his reassuring patter the whole time. Targ mutters, "I wanna go home, Chief." Aw. Tyrol keeps saying "hey" and "it's okay" and "stay with me" and so on. And then Tyrol finally stops saying those things, because Targ's dead. Cally looks down from her position on the hillside, takes in the situation, and tells Tyrol that they've got to move. Tyrol, momentarily freed from his need to be reassuring, screams something about "stupid, frakked-up crap." He must have seen the Firefly ad. Cally reminds Tyrol that they have to get back to Socinus, and packs up the medkit. Tyrol snifflingly bends over Targ again, and Cally grabs Tyrol by the gunstrap (hello, nurse) and tugs as she says, "Let's go." Tyrol takes Targ's dog tags and follows her.
Galactica. Gaeta has apparently taken a break to freshen up, and is now staring into the bathroom mirror. Dualla appears at the sink and tells him that it isn't his fault. Her work done, she exits. Gaeta looks puzzled, and starts playing with the bars of soap on the bathroom shelf. He shoves one soapdish over to another. Then he slides a third soapdish over. Then he gives the nod of "I've had an idea!" and leaves. Meanwhile, I'm wondering why they don't have liquid soap.
Cut to CIC, where Gaeta is sharing his plan with Tigh and Kelly: if they jump back to where they were and link up the various computers, they can calculate the fleet's location in ten minutes instead of twelve hours. I'm pretty much okay with the idea that they have to jump back; it's the fact that the FTL computer sucks so bad that seems weird to me. Kelly protests, "The old man would never do this." Gaeta agrees that networking the computers is dangerous, but see, he can build a firewall! Kelly snorts, "You're gonna out-think the Cylons at computer software?" Heh. I kinda like Kelly. Gaeta replies, "Sir, if we don't do this, we're never gonna find the fleet. Certainly not before the Commander dies." Well, I can see where, in any other plan, by the time they figure out where the fleet went, the fleet's not likely to be there anymore. Kelly repeats that they can't do this because Adama wouldn't approve, but I think Adama's a "that's so crazy it just might work" kind of guy, honestly. Gaeta bobs his head weirdly, and Tigh takes a minute to ponder before ordering everyone to prepare for a jump. He turns around to glare at Kelly as he adds, "Those are my orders." And then he marches off into a flashback.
Behind door number 3, Tigh announces, "The kid is back in the fleet!" He asks Adama, "How'd you get off this frakkin' freighter?" Alliteration! Adama washes his hands as he explains, "Connections. Anne's father has a friend on the Defense subcommittee." Before I can say, "Who the hell is Anne?" Tigh identifies her as "the new wife," while Adama fluffs his mustache. There's a jump-cut for no discernible reason, and now there are other people in the bunk room, and Adama lies down on his bunk, turns into someone else for a second, and then sits up again. I have no idea what that was about. In the podcast, Moore explains that this scene was edited by monkeys. Tigh lurks nearby and wishes he had in-laws with pull. Adama cheerfully says that he'll have some pull in a few years, and this is starting to sound dirty. Adama gee-whizzes that someday, by gosh, he's gonna have his very own Battlestar. He's grinning, too, which is way more disconcerting than the mustache. Cut to someone saying, "Open up, please," and door number 3 opens yet again as Tigh stomps out of the flashback.
A guard finally uncuffs Apollo, who I think refused to wipe the blood off his hands just to gross someone out. Ew. Apollo tells Tigh, "You have my parole." He agrees that he'll make no attempt to free the Prez or "sow insurrection among the crew." I'd like to watch Apollo try to sow insurrection. Maybe that'll be the basis for the comedic episode. He'll also come back to the brig when he's off-duty. Tigh grunts that the preflight briefing is already going on in the Ready Room. As Apollo heads out, the Prez wishes him good hunting. Apollo makes a big show of stopping to say, "Thank you, Madam President." Whatever, Apollo. He exits, and the Prez tells Tigh that she'd like to chat once they've found the fleet. Tigh harrumphs, "There's nothing to talk about. You went up against the Old Man, and you lost." And out he goes. Heh.
CIC. We pan over a nest of cables as Gaeta tells Tigh that the computers are networked and they're ready to jump. Tigh asks if the firewall is ready. On Gaeta's screen, goofy graphics appear along with a big "Firewall online" message. Right. Gaeta wishes Baltar were there. Heh. Tigh says that he'd "take [Gaeta's] work over that shifty son of a bitch any day." Gaeta clarifies that he didn't mean that he wanted Baltar's help; he just likes having him around. With that, the Galactica jumps.
On arrival, Gaeta immediately identifies a Basestar and a bunch of Raiders nearby. Cut to outside, where a million jillion Raiders begin to pour out of the Basestar, and y'know, I think they do hang inside the Basestar's gills like bats. Cool!
Commercials. Did you see how many Raiders there were there? I mean, there were lots. According to the podcast, there were more ships in that scene than there are atoms of hydrogen in the universe. I swear.
The Galactica's guns swivel toward the approaching Raiders. There's a beautiful wide shot where the Basestar and the Galactica are small shapes at the edges of the screen, and between them is the shimmer of ships and, I assume, missiles rushing toward each other. Pretty.
And then there are random numbers scrolling over Gaeta's monitor, because he's stuck in an episode of Whiz Kids or something. He says that they'll have the fleet's position in seven minutes.
Vipers are launched. Some goober named Flyboy woohoos. Racetrack tells him that, with Starbuck out of the picture, there's a pool on who'll get the most kills. Apollo orders them to knock off the banter. I guess he's seen war movies.
In sickbay, Adama decides this is a good time to die. I guess Apollo comes by his melodramatic sensibilities honestly. The medic asks for a defibrillator, and is told that the power's unstable and that the batteries are at the aid stations. Figures. The medic sighs, "Well, then, get me a knife."
The Vipers meet the Raiders. They all whiz past the camera and the Vipers open fire. One of the Raiders has its glowy red eye going woob-woob.
Gaeta's monitor announces that a Cylon virus has been detected and is trying to get their Paypal password. Within moments, it has broken through the first firewall.
We get a Viper's-eye-view of an exploding Raider, and there's a tinny rattle as debris hits the Viper. Which is awesome. Apollo spots a funky-looking ship passing by. It's all lumpy, and the "head" is sort of off-center, and I don't know why that makes it look creepy but it really does. Brr. Apollo says that, whatever it is, it's headed for the Galactica. Well, isn't pretty much everything, though? Anyway, he and Racetrack swing around to go after the mysterious ship. The Basestar launches some missiles, and scores a hit on the Galactica.
The ship shakes, and Billy holds onto the bars of the Prez's cell to steady himself. The guard on duty steps forward and asks the Prez to pray with him. She steps forward and reaches through the bars to take the guard's hands. Billy watches and wonders why nobody ever invites him into the prayer circle. The guard kneels and says, "Help us, Lords of Kobol. Help your prophet, Laura, guide us to the path of righteousness." Oh dear. He goes on about salvation and and destroying enemies and so forth, and there's operatic wailing on the soundtrack as we watch the medic making an incision in Adama's chest.
In CIC, the calculations are about half-done, and the second firewall has been breached. And now, back to the cool shit.
The mysterious Cylon ship flips around and lets loose a barrage at Apollo and Racetrack. I believe that Apollo's Viper is dinged, judging by way he shouts, "Dammit!" The impact sends his ship spinning away. Oh, I think the Cylon ship has two little "heads," actually. Which makes it symmetrical, but no less creepy. During all this, there are also hundreds of explosions happening in the background, which might be flak guns. For all I know, they're fireworks. But it looks fantastic.
Ack! This is something that does not look fantastic: the medic cranking open a rib-spreader. Argh.
Gaeta announces that the third firewall is down.
Spaceships go whir and zoom and pow. Racetrack tells Apollo, "Approaching Galactica's flak barrier. Cylon target within gun range." I don't know how anyone could follow this part without pause and slo-mo, but it's possible I'm easily dazzled by all the explosions. So, what happens is, we see Apollo's Viper in the foreground, and lots of flak explosions in the background, which pretty well obscure the Galactica. Against this background of kaboomsville, the Cylon ship is basically only identifiable because it's the thing that's got glowing engines but isn't bursting into flame. Oh, except then it lets out its own shower of sparks, and Apollo announces, "Winged it!" Racetrack points out that they're entering the engagement zone, and that he hasn't bought her a ring. Apollo says he's almost there, and then they're surrounded by explosions while Racetrack screeches, "Back! Back!" Apollo flips his Viper around and zips away, snarling, "I had it!"
From a different, more comprehensible, angle, we see the Cylon ship trailing smoke as it flutters down and smashes into the Galactica.
The power flickers in CIC, and Tigh rushes to one of the status boards as Dualla announces that the ship crashed into Galactica's starboard flight pod.
Apollo has flown around the Galactica to check out the damage. He reports, "You got a decompression in the flight pod. No explosion. No fire. Repeat, no fire."
Gaeta announces that the calculations are 80% complete, and the Cylons are through the fourth firewall.
Racetrack is pursued by a Cylon, and then rescued by Flyboy. Kablooey.
A pop-up window tells Gaeta that the fleet's position has been plotted. Tigh orders him to break the network, and Gaeta reaches down and...well, yanks some cables out of his computers. And yes, if you're interested, the monitor shows the last firewall going down as he leans over to pull the plug. Tigh orders the Vipers to return home so that they can jump. So the Vipers land, and they jump. Wow, that's the first thing in this episode that's gone smoothly.
The Galactica winks in, and we have to stretch this bit for maximum tension, which seems a little unnecessary. After a long minute, Gaeta reports multiple contacts, and we cut to an external shot that mimics the one from the teaser. Only this time the rest of the fleet is there. Cue the cheers and applause and handshakes. Woo. Tigh tells Dualla to find Cottle and get him on board.
Sickbay. The medic sighs, "From now on, no more heart massages for me. I'm sticking to pills and enemas." See, that's a much funnier line than "Bitch took my ride." Tigh enters, and the medic tells him that Adama is still in critical condition. Sensing that Tigh's got a soliloquy coming on, she exits.
Tigh stands over Adama and tells him that Cottle's on the way. And then he returns to flashback-land. A younger, drunken Tigh is in the bunk room, pouring lighter fluid out over some octagons. I bet that's high treason. It appears that the octagons are in fact part of his uniform. Or medals? It's on the floor and only barely in frame, and I think maybe this could have been directed in such a way that we could actually tell what the hell he's doing. I'm not entirely sure if he was actually trying to go out in a blaze of glory, but since he's got enough alcohol in his system to be flammable, it seems like things would have wound up that way. But there's a knock at the door, and the visitors identify themselves as Shore Patrol. Tigh opens the door, revealing two fresh-faced kids. Who pretend that they aren't startled to see a scruffy Tigh standing there in his bathrobe and shorts, smelling like lighter fluid. One of the kids explains, "Major Adama's compliments. He wishes me to inform you you've been reinstated in the Colonial Fleet, with the rank of Captain." Tigh is too dazed to be terribly surprised, and says he'll be back in a second. He shuffles off to the bathroom and stares in the mirror.
Back in sickbay, Tigh tells Adama, "You never should have brought me back in the service." It's nice that he's kind of resentful instead of grateful about it. He goes on to say that if not for Adama, he'd have died in the attack on Caprica, "and been happier for it." Heh. He concludes, "I don't want to command. I never did. Don't you dare die on me now." Aw, poor Tigh.
We slowly zoom down through the big hole in the Galactica's hull. And for those who feel that troops should have been sent down to investigate immediately, I would just like to repeat: big hole in the hull. They can't just walk down the hall and take a peek. We zoom down toward the creepy two-headed Cylon ship. And then we're peering into a dark opening into the ship, and a lot of little red lights start to go woob-woob back and forth. A shiny Centurion robot marches out, looks around, and strides into the camera. To be continued.
time: Adama's still in sickbay, and Cylons are rampaging through the ship. Fun!
Production card: Moore has an idea And a cowboy hat! Eick punches him, and Moore's face pops off to reveal that he's a Westworld robot. Excellent.