Previously: The Cylons look and feel human, but for some unknown reason they smell like patchouli. You heard it here first.
The fleet is just some distant scattered dots against the stars. We've got to hurry, or we'll miss the start of the show! We zoom and zoom and zoom, and when we're about to crash into the Galactica, we cut to a close-up of Baltar's eyeball. Artsy!
Baltar says, "I don't see the hand of God in here." He's in the lab, examining some cells under a microscope. And needling Six, of course. Baltar wonders if he'll find "evidence of His divine hand" in one of the samples. Six asks why Baltar is driven to blaspheme. She theorizes, "A need to tempt fate?" Baltar says it's boredom. Six snuggles up to him and asks if he's finished working.
Baltar's sex-fantasy domicylon. Baltar's in bed, Six sitting astride him. Six suggests that he would find peace if he gave himself over to God's love. Baltar says, "Couldn't help me with this zipper, could you?" as he fumbles with Six's dress. Heh. Six moves his hands away and insists that God has a plan for them. Baltar questions Six's use of masculine pronoun, and she testily says, "There is only one true God," and gets off the bed. Baltar says that she's been saying the same thing over and over again. He stands behind Six and adds, "I've accepted your God and all that. Can't we...reboot the hard drive?" Add that to the list of dirty Galactica expressions. Six says, "He's not my God; he is God." Baltar humors her: "He's big enough for all of us, isn't He?"He pulls her back toward the bed, pleading for a more "elevating" activity. Six insists that Baltar needs to give himself over to God's love. Baltar snaps, "Oh for God's sake," and turns away. Six says that she's trying to save his soul. Baltar complains that all she's doing is boring him. He rants that her beliefs are "metaphysical nonsense, which to be fair to [Six], actually appeals to the half-educated dullards that make up most of human society," and adds that no rational human would share her beliefs. Six gets off the bed and heads for the door as Baltar smugly adds, "Which leads me to the inescapable conclusion that Cylons are, in the final --" He turns to face Six, and discovers that she's gone. He starts to follow her, and raises his voice to finish his thought: "In the final analysis, little more than toasters." He opens the bedroom door and looks downstairs, but Six is nowhere to be seen. "With great-looking legs," he concludes. He closes the door and sits on the bed, pouting that it's his fantasy anyway. He tells himself that he'll imagine a new companion: "A brunette." There's a knock at the door, and Baltar gasps, "Really?" Hee. He opens the door saying, "Maybe we can dispense with the foreplay."
And then he's opening the lab door to a startled Dualla. Baltar explains that he talks to himself. Dualla tries to ignore the whole thing, and says that Baltar's wanted in CIC.
Baltar strolls into CIC, where Six is standing. She's wearing a very conservative gray dress with a high collar. Baltar smirks, "Ah, there you are. Very nice. Blouse could open up a button or two." Six sniffs, "Excuse me?" Adama rasps that a certain Miss Godfrey has made some accusations Baltar should hear. Baltar nods, and looks around the room asking where Miss Godfrey is. Tigh says, "She's standing right there." Baltar looks at Six out of the corner of his eye as she adds, "I'm right here." Baltar says, in a low voice, "Yeah, of course you are," and then looks at Adama with a questioning "Um?" Gaeta looks at Six and says, "This is Miss Godfrey." Six clears her throat pointedly. Baltar grins and declares, "You can all see her!" Tigh repeats, "She's standing right to you." Hee. Baltar goes on grinning and nodding until Adama asks if anything's wrong. Baltar says no, and we're treated to a little montage of Six tossing Baltar on beds and against bulkheads and so on, for people who came in late. Baltar finally apologizes and tries to shake Godfrey's hand. She pulls back and snaps, "Don't touch me, you traitor!" Baltar blinks as Godfrey accuses him of letting the Cylons into the defense mainframe. She says, "I'm going to see to it that you're exposed and sentenced to death as the traitor you really are." Baltar looks around at Adama, and then we get another close-up shot of his eyes.
Credits. I'm just gonna say straight out that half of the fun of the episode comes from watching Baltar's face. I'll try to convey his expressions as best I can. Also, you know what's on while I'm writing this? Wild Things 2, followed by the "world premiere" of Wild Things 3. I know!
When we return, Baltar blusters that he's never seen Godfrey before. She explains that she was "a lowly systems analyst at the Defense Ministry," and that she worked with Dr. Amarak. Baltar's face: "Think of something to say, think of something to say!" Godfrey explains that, after the attack, Amarak told her that he had evidence linking Baltar to the Cylon attack. Baltar slowly catches on that this is serious, as Six reminds us that Amarak was trying to contact the Prez when he was killed. Baltar grumps, "How convenient that we only have your word for that." Baltar's face: "Yeah, that sounded like something an innocent person would say!" By way of reply, Godfrey hands Adama an octagonal CD. Baltar's face: "Eep." Adama says that the disk came from the Defense Ministry.
Gaeta, Adama, Tigh, Baltar, and Godfrey enter the lab. Godfrey says, "Dr. Amarak gave the disk to me before he died." Baltar snarks, "What, as opposed to after he died?" It was at this point that I realized that a Baltar-heavy episode is fun to watch, but tricky to recap. He's stealing my lines! Godfrey ignores Baltar and says that the disk contains a photo taken by security cameras on Caprica the day before the Cylon attack. On the computer, we see a series of still images showing someone with his back to the camera entering a room full of computers. Baltar doesn't see the big deal. Godfrey adds, "As you can see, the man in the photo is carrying an explosive device." Baltar's face: "Guh?" He peers down at the monitor to look, and goggles upon seeing that the man is indeed carrying a bomb. Baltar says, "I definitely never did that." Hee. Godfrey explains that the bomb destroyed the defense mainframe. Baltar insists that it can't be him. Adama says that the man looks kind of like Baltar, but that it's not definite. Baltar huffily thanks Adama and asks if they're done with this. Godfrey puts on some serious-girl glasses and points out that the bomber's face is reflected in a computer terminal. Gaeta highlights part of the photo and zooms in. Tigh says he can't make out any details, and gets his own thank-you from Baltar. Godfrey suggests that they enlarge and sharpen the image. Gaeta says, "Enlarging the image is no problem, but, uh, sharpening it..." Baltar chimes in, "Would take forever," and nods very seriously. Gaeta admits, "It would take at least a day, sir." Baltar's face: "Yup, I'm safe because -- wait, what did he just say?" Adama orders Gaeta to let him know when the picture is ready. He adds that all work on the Cylon detector is on hold for the time being, and suspends Baltar's security privileges.
Flight deck. Cally is reading Starbuck's notes about the Cylon Raider to Tyrol, who has crawled inside the ship. Cally says, "She said the power-up sequence began by squeezing something that looks like a red ligament with blue veins on the right side coming out of a sack of gooey fluid shaped like a dog." Heh. Although, did they consider asking Starbuck to draw a sketch instead? Maybe she can't draw. It'd be nice if there was something she couldn't do better than anyone else.
Inside the ship, Tyrol is crawling through lots of icky tendrils wearing a little headlamp. He's not happy. And he's covered with goo, which makes me unhappy, too.
Cally instructs Tyrol to shift his weight "into the lymphatic sac." Tyrol calls out, "That's just stupid!" Goddammit, now Tyrol's stealing my lines! Cally giggles and then jumps to attention on noticing Tigh behind her. Tigh calls, "Chief?"
Tyrol jerks, bumping his head, and grumbles, "God -- yes, sir?" Tigh asks how it's going, and Tyrol insists, "I'm getting there."
Starbuck hesitantly sets her feet on the floor and tries to stand. Her right leg is encased in a puffy brace. On the sidelines, Apollo is sort of being an idiot, and Dr. Cottle is watching and puffing on a cigarette. Apollo swings over to Starbuck on a pair of crutches and tells her, "Your pain is my entertainment." He hands over the crutches. Cottle says, "It's gonna hurt like hell, but it's supposed to." Starbuck glares and thanks him. As she starts to rock forward on the crutches, Apollo says, "No pain, no gain. No cliché left unturned, as Kara Thrace returns to the world of the walking. Can she do it or will she fall on her ass?" Starbuck grumbles, "I'm gonna beat the crap out of you both as soon as I get better." And then she sighs that she can't, and hops backward to the bed. Cottle says she won't get better lying in bed. Starbuck shoves the crutches at Apollo, and tells Cottle to frack off. Apollo suggests trying again in a few minutes. Starbuck says she doesn't want to try again: "I want a pill. Now, please." Cottle says, "We're weaning you off the magic pills starting today. And besides, I need them for myself." He wanders off.
Baltar's in a hallway talking to the Prez on the phone. She admits to finding the situation "hard to fathom." Baltar puffs on a cigarette and shakily asks if he could come back to the Colonial One. He explains, "I've left some of my things there," which I find particularly funny, for some reason.
Colonial One. The Prez says that Baltar's on a no-fly list, and gulps down a glass of water that Billy hands her.
Baltar insists that he needs to get off the Galactica, and hisses that Godfrey has it in for him. Intercut with this, we see Baltar marching around his domicylon, looking for Six. He also looks directly at the camera. Which can be an effective trick, but they use it a lot in this episode so it just became irritating. Back in the real world, Baltar plays what he thinks is his trump card, and very, very dramatically tells the Prez that he thinks Godfrey just might be a Cylon. He waits a beat for the Prez to gasp in shock. And then another beat. And then he says, "Madame President?"
The Prez has collapsed at her desk. Billy tries to awaken her while we hear Baltar saying, "Hello?" on the phone. Billy flicks on the intercom and tells someone, "Get Cottle over here now -- the President has collapsed."
Baltar raps his phone against the wall and repeats, "Hello?" Hee. He's got such terrible luck.
Commercials. In Wild Things 2, the best line so far is, "They love their volleyball here in Blue Bay." They actually waste time on exposition to set up the T&A shots!
Oh, crap, it's another press conference. The reporters are advancing on Billy like zombies looking for a meal. Although it's lucky they aren't, because this is Billy we're talking about. Now I'm sad, just imagining the starving zombies. Aw. Billy tries to explain that the Prez is being treated for what they think is stomach flu. He dives behind a protective curtain while the reporters go on yammering. Dear Ron Moore: Pick one reporter, and make her a recurring character. Give her a dozen co-workers, fine. Some of them can even be rivals. Let that be your window on the civilians. You can do interesting things with that. But this thing with the press conferences just makes me feel embarrassed for the whole show. All my conditional love, Strega.
Cottle eyes a medicine bottle and asks the Prez how many pills she took. She's sitting up in bed, looking grumpy, and finally admits to taking two. And then, after Cottle gives her a "pull the other one" look, she admits, "Three." Cottle tells her she's lucky she's not in a coma. Billy enters and tells the Prez, "The story's all over the fleet -- I am so sorry." Apparently, the reporters all caught the radio transmission asking for Cottle. The Prez says it's okay, and figures she needs to hold a press appearance before the end of the day to reassure everyone that she's all right. Cottle says, "I could give you a shot, but you wouldn't like the side effects." The Prez doesn't even ask what they are, and tells him to do it. While Cottle prepares the shot, he says that eventually she won't be able to hide her illness. The Prez smiles tightly and starts to roll up her sleeve. Cottle says, "It's not that kind of a shot." The Prez raises her eyes to look at Cottle, and I crack up at her expression.
Adama's quarters. Adama hands Godfrey a drink, and wheezily notes, "Baltar's correct. About the convenience of it all." He asks how she just happens to have this evidence against Baltar. Godfrey says that Amarak told her that the Olympic Carrier had been infiltrated by the Cylons, so he gave her some stuff for safekeeping. Adama does not ask, "When exactly did this happen? Because this is when we were going FTL every thirty-three minutes, right? When did you have time to pop over for a chat with him?" I like the episode a lot, but for me that's the most glaring problem with anyone buying Godfrey's story for more than five minutes. Adama asks why Amarak trusted her. Godfrey holds a tragic pause before saying, "We were friends." And then she bursts into dignified tears and says that she was in love with Amarak. This is such a Sam Spade scene. They should have gone nuts and filmed the episode in black & white. Like they'd do on Magnum sometimes! And he'd go back in time or whatever, and there'd be a little "What a crazy dream -- or was it?" tag! Sorry, I got a little overexcited. Adama stays stoic as Godfrey sobs against his shoulder about how lonely she is. She asks if Adama ever feels alone, and Adama looks at her. She kisses the corner of his mouth softly. I start to complain to Scooter, "What the hell? Adama's not this stupid."
Cut to Adama on the phone, telling Tigh, "Do not, under any circumstances, allow Shelly Godfrey to leave this ship." I tell Scooter, "Oh. Okay. Good." He also tells Tigh to have Godfrey followed "discreetly."
Caprica. Day 24. Boomer and Helo race across a creek and into the woods, followed by Cylon robots. The robots just trundle through the woods because trying to match the way water splashes in CGI would have been a royal pain. Plus their little feet might rust later. Although I wouldn't mind seeing a Wizard of Oz thing with a frozen Cylon begging for an oil can.
The Cylons look out from an overpass or bridge or something. And they look fabulous in this particular shot, I think because the lighting is so artificial already with the yellow tinting. This almost, but not quite, distracts me from the fact that Boomer and Helo are posed on an abutment in plain view. Helo's peripheral vision doesn't seem so bad when you compare it the Cylon's inability to see something ten feet away.
Gaeta watches the monitor as the computer processes the photo. He munches on something that's incredibly noisy, to the point that I'm wondering what the hell he's eating. The caption reads, "[crunches like peanut brittle]." Well, that clears it up. But do they really get snack food rations?
Oh boy! The bathroom scene! Gaeta enters the coed bathroom, lined with stalls, as a woman finishes washing her hands and exits. Wow, there is quite a cloud of steam over the sink. They've got powerful water heaters. Gaeta enters a stall, and then Baltar enters. He bends over to look at Gaeta's shoes, and then enters the neighboring stall. The camera lowers itself to shoe level. Baltar whispers, "Lieutenant? Is that you?" A beat, and Gaeta shifts his feet as he identifies Baltar. Baltar says, "So. How you doing?" Gaeta says, "Um..." Baltar quickly says, "You're busy! Well, I don't want to distract you! Please, don't let me interrupt you." Gaeta turns his feet inward uncomfortably. Excellent foot acting. Baltar taps his feet and whistles. Badly.
We cut to a shot of a sliver of Baltar's face through the door frame. So mostly we see one insane eyeball and a sliver of insane cheek. Baltar asks if Gaeta's still there. Gaeta says, "...Yup." Hee. Baltar apologizes for the awkward situation, but insists that he wanted to let Gaeta know how invaluable his help's been lately. Sliver-vision cuts to Gaeta as he says, "Thank you, Doctor. You have no idea how much that means to me." Baltar nods vigorously as he insists, "Not at all!" Then he asks, "How's it going over there?" Gaeta frowns and says,"Uh." Baltar quickly explains that he's asking about the photo enhancement in the lab. Gaeta figures it'll take a few more hours to finish up. Baltar's voice breaks a little as he suggests that the photo could be a fake. Gaeta says that he's authenticated the disk. Baltar babbles that there are all kinds of ways to fake these things, and that maybe he could come by the lab and help out. Gaeta hesitantly suggests that's not a good idea. Baltar whines: "For God's sake, Gaeta, my life is on the line! My reputation is at stake!" I love that he seems to value those two things equally. Gaeta starts to explain that his reputation is, too, but then the door to the bathroom opens. Baltar very noisily hisses, "Shhh! Someone's coming, someone's coming!" Sensible shoes click across the floor as a woman enters another stall. Then there's a flush, and Gaeta hurries out of the stall and out the door. Baltar rushes out after him and shouts, "You forgot to wash your hands!" Oh my. I think that's the funniest thing I've seen since the Angel puppet.
A frustrated Baltar looks around and spots the sensible shoes. He slams the stall door open, and Godfrey quickly stands up, outraged. They need better locks on the stall doors. Baltar shouts that he wants answers, while Godfrey asks if he's lost his mind. Baltar says, "That's an interesting question -- one I pose to myself on a regular basis." Godfrey keeps trying to shut the stall door while Baltar holds it open. He says that he didn't plant any bombs, and that she knows he didn't. Godfrey insists, "I don't know anything of the sort," and tries unsuccessfully to shove him out of the way. I would have liked it if Baltar seemed more surprised that Godfrey isn't strong enough to move him. Baltar finally says, "Let's entertain the notion, just for the moment, that you are not the woman I see everywhere. You are not Shelly Godfrey, either. You're a fake!" He looks her up and down and says that she's another Cylon copy. Godfrey grunts, "Get. Out." and finally manages to shut the door. Baltar flips out (yes, even more) and yells, "You think this is over? This is not over!" Behind Baltar, a soldier enters the bathroom and stares as Baltar adds, "No more Mister Nice-Gaius!" Wow, that's terrible. I tip my hat to you, sir. Baltar turns around, sees the new arrival, and finally sighs, "Women!" That's always a good cover.
Commercials. Wild Things 2 is only worth watching because it and Wild Things 3 were clearly filmed simultaneously, and if you don't see them both, you won't have the fun of identifying all of the sets they used in both movies.
Flight deck. Tyrol has wiped off the goo and is sitting by the Raider. Boomer strolls in and asks if he's having problems. Tyrol grouses about the ship while Boomer starts stroking her hands lovingly over the Raider's wings. She dreamily suggests that it's "more of an animal, maybe, than the human models." Tyrol is either enraptured or creeped out as Boomer dreamily stands by the ship's, um, head? Cabin? The blobby part in the middle. She suggests, "You can't treat it like a thing and expect it to respond. You have to treat it like a pet." She suddenly wakes up from her reverie and, in more normal tones, says that's her guess. Tyrol repeats, "Your guess?" Boomer pissily says that yeah, it's a guess, and asks if he wants to say something to her. Tyrol leaps up and screams, "You're a Cylon!" No, not really.
Tigh is paying Starbuck a visit in sickbay. She's thrilled to have visitors, asking, "Is there something you wanted, or did you just drop by to torment me, sir?" Heh. While Tigh looks over her clipboard, he mentions that Tyrol could use some help with the Raider. "But clearly you still need the rest," he observes, giving her a disparaging once-over. Starbuck quite rightly calls Tigh on his attempt at reverse psychology. Tigh chuckles, "Every day you spend in that bed is a day that I have my opinion of you confirmed." Exit Tigh, rockingly.
Adama's quarters. Baltar is sounding remarkably sane as he explains that Godfrey is a Cylon agent. And then he stares at the camera again. Cut that out!
Domicylon. Baltar roams around, staring at the camera some more and asking Six where she's gone. He asks, "You enjoying messing around with my life?"
Adama asks if Baltar has any evidence for his accusation. Baltar says that the Cylon detector is almost ready, and that he just needs a tissue sample from Godfrey. That's the worst evasion ever. Try: "Well, I know I didn't bomb anything. Either she's lying to us, or Amarak, the guy who was on that very suspicious ship you shot down, lied to her." I could give Baltar a tutorial on sounding innocent. Er, because I am! I wasn't anywhere near Paris Hilton's phone, I swear!
Domicylon. Baltar tells an absent Six, "I thought we had something. Something special." Once again, Carnivàle has ruined simple phrases for me, because "something special" just makes me think...ew. Let's not dwell on it.
Adama vetoes the idea of testing Godfrey. Baltar says he could teach Gaeta to run the tests. Adam says that if the photo turns out to depict Baltar, his detector and everything in the lab will be dismantled and quarantined. Baltar stares at the camera. Grr.
Baltar says, "I love you." Oh, we're in the Domicylon again. Although it would be pretty entertaining if he was making these declarations out loud to Adama. And then Adama gruffly said, "That's sweet, but I don't want to spoil our friendship." Anyway, Baltar figures that Six has been dying to hear him pledge his love. His mind may be shaky, but his ego's still fine. He announces, "I am ready and willing to make that commitment to you right now."
Baltar tells Adama that the Prez believes he's innocent. Adama corrects him: "The President hopes you're innocent." He adds that he does, too, because if Baltar's guilty, he's made fools of them both.
Domicylon. Baltar pleads some more, and asks Six for help.
Baltar tells Adama, "I'm an innocent man who's been convicted in the court of public opinion without trial." I like that just because there isn't a single part of it that's accurate.
Baltar walks down a corridor of the Galactica, and people stare at him as he passes. We also hear voices muttering things like "Traitor," but nobody's mouth is moving, so I think there's a fair chance that Baltar's imagination is acting up again.
Gaeta's still munching on space brittle and watching the monitor. Then he leans in close as the image is resolved into a clear shot of Baltar.
Baltar walks around a corner, past a prominently displayed fire alarm.
A siren blurts as all hands are called to damage control stations. Hilariously, Gaeta pops one last bite of space brittle in his mouth before leaving. You'd think he'd grab the bucket, or whatever, if it's that good. In case of fire, save the space brittle! It's going to take us a few generations to recreate See's!
In CIC, Adama and Tigh look at the monitors, trying to figure out where the fire is.
Baltar hurries into the lab and closes the door. He stares at the picture of himself on the monitor, then hurries over and begins typing on the keyboard.
CIC. Dualla says that there isn't any fire anywhere. Tigh asks for the location of the alarm. Dualla says "D-wing corridor, where it intersects C-wing." Adama immediately says, "That's the lab."
Baltar types some more, and the image on the monitor fades in and out but doesn't go away. Control-alt-delete, man! He hits one key over and over, muttering, "Erase," and finally hammers on the keyboard. He gives up and runs over to the shelves, then just kind of wavers back and forth without doing anything. He crosses the room and grabs some equipment. A moment later he's trying to open what I'll just assume is the disk drive with some pliers. And then he tries smashing it with a mallet. Cut to Baltar behind the monitors, pulling out wires and grinning happily. I love that his solutions are becoming more and more useless. He yanks some wires triumphantly, and a monitor goes out. Not the one with his image on it, but still, he should feel proud, right? He happily pops out in front of the screens, and then looks terribly crestfallen upon seeing that he pulled the wrong wires. And that's when he starts gibbering, basically. He finally picks up a small stool and prepares to hurl it at the monitor. The way he's going, he'd miss, but before he can even make the attempt Adama barks, "Put it down!" Adama, Tigh, and a mess of soldiers enter the lab. Baltar freezes for a second and then gently puts the stool back on the floor. Adama tells the soldiers to put Baltar in the brig. Baltar edges a little bit to one side until the soldiers grab him. Heh. As they drag him away, Baltar asks to speak to an attorney. Adama stares at the monitor. Baltar's voice fades into the distance as he wails, "She's got it in for me, that Shelly Godfrey!"
Commercials. Wild Things 3? Not...not-not-bad. I mean, bad, certainly, but they seem a little more aware that with a title like that, the audience is already guessing the twists, so the best you can do is keep piling new twists on as fast as you can. And they remembered to include a small tribute to Bill Murray's character from the first movie, so I'll give it two stars just for that.
Flight deck. Apollo goggles as Starbuck hobbles into view. She greets everyone by telling them to shut up, and then asks what's going on with the Raider. Tyrol says, "Your new boyfriend's a bit of a jerk, sir." Starbuck says that the ship's a girl. Tyrol says, "If you don't mind her goo on your face, she's all yours, sir." Yeah, feel free to write your own joke for that one. Starbuck crawls up into the ship, and the nice thing here is that we can see how small the "cabin" is. Which helps with the whole "If it's meant to hold a gooey robo-brain, why can a pilot fit inside it?" problem. I wish it had been easier to tell how small it was two weeks ago.
Inside the ship, Starbuck makes a disgusted face and scrapes some tendrils of ick off her shoulders. Something about this scene made me realize that Starbuck reminds me of my friend Kelly. In a good way, I mean. But Kelly's disgusted face looks a lot like Starbuck's. Hi Kelly! Starbuck wriggles around, muttering, "This is stupid." She eventually repeats that in a louder voice, so that everyone outside can enjoy her insight.
Tyrol insists that Starbuck got the ship to fly once, so it's worth a try. I'm mildly confused here. I could understand why Starbuck couldn't describe how to fly the ship. But I have some difficulty with the idea that, having flown it successfully once, she can't replicate the process.
Back inside the Raider, Starbuck listens as Tyrol decides to try Boomer's idea and suggests, "Treat it like a horse." Starbuck tells herself, "Why not a goat? I mean, that's good, right?" Again I say, er. Having slid into piloting position, Starbuck fiddles around a bit and says, "C'mon boy. Giddyup." You just said it was a girl, Starbuck. Pay attention. She presses her foot against a pedal-like thing, and the engine starts to rev. Starbuck gasps, "You're kidding. Chief? Chief!"
Outside, Tyrol drily tells her, "Don't shoot anything." Yeah, maybe you should have put the ship in some kind of safe area, because leaving aside the guns, it seems like if the engines start there, something's gonna get fried. Eh, whatever.
Baltar lies on a bunk in a cell. The Prez greets him, and Baltar hops up to stand in front of her hopefully. The Prez says, "I'm so sorry." Baltar thanks her, and she sits down. Baltar, surprised, looks around and finally asks if she's going to let him out. The Prez calmly says that she wants to understand why he did it. Baltar whines, "I'm being framed!" The Prez asks why Godfrey would lie, and Baltar explains that she's a Cylon. "She's a Cylon," the Prez sighs in tones you would use for "The dog ate your homework" or "Your little brother logged in with your username." She says that she wants to believe him, because she wants to believe she didn't make a mistake in trusting him. Her eyes are gigantic. Or she's wearing more eyeliner than usual. Or maybe both. The Prez says that if anyone can be a Cylon, she has to trust her instincts: "The moment they told me it was your face in the photo, I knew I believed it. I believed you were involved in the attack. Somehow." And this, again, is nice, because her instincts are actually correct. Just for the wrong reason. Baltar sneers, "I don't want to be executed based solely on your gut feeling." The Prez stands up, stares for a minute, and finally whispers, "May the gods have mercy on your soul." Exit the Prez.
Helo and Boomer flip a coin to decide who's on watch. Helo kind of cheats, and insists that Boomer should sleep. He confesses, "If something happened to you, I wouldn't know how to deal with it." Boomer says that the feeling's mutual. Lightning flashes, and I suddenly realize that it's probably supposed to be night again. Or at least dark. Seriously, guys, stop with the night filters. And the staring into the camera. Oh, and the giant press conferences. Man, it's hard to pick one most annoying thing, actually. But back to the day-for-night scenes: I guess you could have someone talk about how Caprica has a moon made of tin foil or something, but honestly, just set the scenes during the day; it's easier. Helo awkwardly mentions that he knows Boomer was involved with Tyrol. Boomer says, "I think everybody [knew]." He says he respected their relationship, but he would have given anything to be Tyrol. Aw. That's so sad. Helo, you can do better. Boomer looks away, and Helo apologizes for putting her on the spot until Boomer suddenly yanks him down for a kiss.
On the Galactica, the other Boomer walks to her locker, looking sleepy. She does have fabulous hair, I'll give her that. She grabs what looks like a vitamin bottle and then turns to face the mirror in her locker and jumps. Someone has scrawled "Cylon" across it.
We cut back and forth between Helo and Boomer having the crazy apocalyptic sex, and the other Boomer frantically wiping away the message on her mirror. "It's not true," the Boomer on Galactica moans. The Boomer on Caprica just moans in a general way. And then her spine does the red glowing thing, which I was hoping they'd get rid of because: dumb. Great, now I have to add that to the list. Moore's going to think I'm high-maintenance, isn't he?
Baltar strolls about in his cell. He whispers, "I know we haven't spoken before, and I don't wish to offend..." He says "please" a few times, and kneels by his cot. "I now acknowledge that you are the one true God." He offers to "devote the rest of what is left of [his] wretched life to doing good" if he gets out of this. He starts to cry a little, but it's totally balanced out by the fact that you can see him struggling to recollect the words that he's heard other people say. I mean, he begs for mercy a lot, but there's not much actual repentance going on. Although I suppose that would be dicey: "I'm sorry I helped almost wipe out my people, although apparently that's what you wanted, so, er, glad I could help?" So I suppose it makes sense to avoid the topic. There are some time-lapse cuts as he goes on pleading and sobbing for a while. "Grant me grace. Grant me forgiveness," he wheedles. And then Six is suddenly there hugging him. "All will be well," she insists. "It will be as God wants it to be." She kisses his forehead gently.
Gaeta enters the brig, and orders a guard to open Baltar's cell. Baltar jumps to his feet and argues that he hasn't even had a trial yet. "It's a lie, it's a lie!" he pleads, and claps along like he's going to get some kind of Zarek-esque riot going on, even though he's the only prisoner. Gaeta cuts off the chanting by saying, "The photograph is a fake." Baltar blinks. Gaeta explains that the whole image was faked, and shows him another Baltar-free image of the computer banks, like that proves it's a fake or something, which I don't get. Although then Baltar says, "Of course it's a fake. I'd never wear a shirt like that," which makes up for it, at least to me. Gaeta explains that he reran the security checks and found, like, a Photoshop stamp or something. He adds, "They weren't apparent until the photo was fully resolved." Baltar gives Gaeta a hug, thanking him for rerunning the checks. Gaeta, looking pretty darn happy, says that he knew Baltar couldn't have been involved in the attack. Poor Gaeta. Baltar nods speechlessly and starts to leave his cell. Gaeta follows, adding that "it was almost too easy, like she wanted to be found out."
Adama and Tigh pedeconference. Adama asks how Godfrey got off the Galactica. Tigh says that no ships have arrived or departed, and adds, "I had two marines tailing her. They say they went around a corner and she was gone." As they arrive at CIC, Dualla says that none of the ships have spotted Godfrey. Adama grouses, "This woman existed. She didn't just vanish." He orders every ship to check again, including the Galactica. Then he spots Godfrey's glasses sitting on the, um, space-chart table, or whatever it is. He picks them up and repeats, "She didn't just vanish," with deep significance. Well. She did, actually. You just don't know how she vanished.
The Prez tells the reporters that Baltar was "a victim of treachery and deceit." She adds that the Cylons were trying to discredit Baltar before he finished work on the Cylon detector. She smiles benevolently upon Baltar and shakes his hand as the reporters applaud. Way to be professional, guys.
Domicylon. Six tells Baltar that he's a hero now. She leans over to rub his shoulders as she says, "Hard for anyone to accuse you of treason again." Aha. She ruffles his hair and heads upstairs as Baltar asks if that was the plan: "Build me up in the public mind by first tearing me down?" Six makes a "c'mere" gesture and walks upstairs. Baltar reminds himself, "Who am I to question the plans of Almighty God?" He follows Six upstairs as he asks one final question: "Did [Shelly Godfrey] ever actually exist? Was she ever really here?" Six unfastens her dress and lets it fall to her feet, and then enters the bedroom. Baltar gasps, "God's will be done," and rushes up, already tugging at his fly. And then we pull out, out, out, till the fleet is once again a few tiny blobs against a backdrop of stars.
time: Starbuck questions Leoben Conroy, and Boomer tells Tyrol that she's a Cylon.
Production tag, which I keep forgetting to tape: Moore waves a wand and says "No bones," and Eick collapses into a pile of cartoon goosh. Bonus points for the way his eye pops out.