|
|||||
I wish they would change the opening. DODES has been off for almost two months. Do we really need that same shot of Daryl laughing week after week? No. We don�t.
No shots of bands waking up this time. Just Brendon and Katina. Apparently, they are in the mood to go over the bands� earnings once again. Here we go:
FLICK -- $6529
HARLOW -- $8388
SHITSPLATTER (you like that one, don�t you?) -- $8959
Why do they have to win? They totally don�t deserve it. But whatever.
Brendon and Katina mention that the battle of the bands is happening in three days. The band that wins gets immunity from exile. You know all this. The only way to get CRACK out of the way is for FLICKERSTICK to win the battle and HARLOW to outsell them. HARLOW is pretty lazy, though, so let�s not hold our collective breath. The town is Tampa. Woooo! Spring break, Tampa! Wooooooo!
FLICKERSTICK also has their doubts about HARLOW�s ability to overcome �the selling machine� (tm Brandin) otherwise known as SOULCRACKER. Cory: �If they were smart, they would try to sell as much merch as possible. They should play a couple of shows, too.� Cory, do you know them at all?
The bands are on their way. Sutton wants to sound �significantly different from the other bands.� Don�t worry, dude. Nobody sucks quite like you guys do.
It pretty much seems like HARLOW has given up at this point. They seem really apathetic and kind of ready to go home. This frustrates me. It seems to me that they have a duty to fulfill, and they�re just gonna sit around and wait to get kicked off. That sucks. I want them to buck up and beat BUTTSLAPPER. It really wouldn�t take that much effort. They�ve been able to sell when it came down to it. Why not now? Boo.
As soon as they get into town, CRACK naturally heads straight to their venue. Before they go in, everyone is already anticipating AP opening his big yapper with a bunch of �check it outs� and �cools� and whatnot. Everyone seems pretty fed up with him, which I suppose is understandable. He sucks. Beastie: �AP�s attitude towards business is abrasive to the rest of the band. When he�s talking to someone who could help us out and he�s all �Check it out, you have to do this,� that�s just not cool.� Word, B-Man. You guys should just kick him out and have you play bass instead. At least then you�ll have something to do onstage, aside from undulating, seizure-like. Sutton: �He�s gonna have such a huge, annoying �check it out.�� Probably.
HARLOW is feeling fatigued. What a bloody surprise. Oh, wait, I screwed up. Its actually not all that surprising, because they are always in bed eating room service. How are they all so skinny? All we really see them do is lie around and eat, with an occasional show thrown in the mix somewhere. It doesnt add up. ["I would say 'heroin,' but I don't get that vibe from the girls. They do eat a lot, though, not that there's anything wrong with that." -- Sars]
So, Corys all pissy about some crap that Brandin did. You see, FLICK (in top form, of course) is headed to the hotel bar. Cory purposely slowed down, because I knew Brandin was gonna take the inside seat at the bar and put me outside the confines of the group. Dude, you seriously need to relax. I know the battle is coming up and youre a little bit freaked right now, but dont take it out on your band. He wasnt trying to exile you from FLICKland. He was just trying to sit down and get a brew. So just chill (til the episode). Everyone pretty much snaps. Rex goes off about Cory yelling at him onstage or something. He says something about Cory's precious keyboards. Heh. Yeah, I dont even know why Cory bothers playing that shit. He clearly doesnt really play. He just holds, like, two chords. Move over, Monk. Not.
CRACK has met a couple of tattoo-artist girls who are having a slumber party pretty soon. The boys seem pretty thrilled about the whole thing. While AP gets a peace symbol tattooed on his back, Sutton meets Casper, a local promoter and manager. He sets them up with a gig at the Brass Mug, a local hard-rock dive that really seems more like a HARLOW kind of place. So they cranked it up and rocked out. Beastie keeps referring to FLICK as corporate pussy rock without a hint of irony. Um, Beastie? Yeah, lean in close so you can hear me. You are on a VH-1 show. VH-1 is owned byyou guessed it! Viacom, a corporate entertainment juggernaut. So dont shit where you eat, dumbass. Whether you like it or not, you are now officially corporate pussy rock your own damn self. So, shut up.
Merch!
FLICK -- $20
HARLOW -- $0 (What? You expected more?)
CRACK -- $88
Fletcher is really depressed, man. Hes still freaked about cheating on Angela (his fiance), and hes tearing himself up. If he says I just lost sight of whats important one more time, I may actually get the point. Wait, no, I totally got it the first thousand times. Cory comes out while Fletch is puffin a smoke and asks if he wants to go the beach. Fletch replies, No, I want to look sad and pathetic in front of the camera so that Angela knows how much Ive suffered. Well, not really, but you know thats what hes thinking.