Taiwan On

S07E07

Anyway as they ride, we get MORE voiceovers. First Ben opens up about how he is falling in love with Ashley but is not ready to tell her. However, he loves the feel of her arms around his waist. Then Ashley voiceovers all the things she loves about Ben (Free Wine). Then Ben calls her "precious cargo," and at dinner he mentions the "L Bomb," so her self esteem is just rising and rising while he talks. Ben admits that he's teetering on the brink of love, and he's ready to open up again, he is serious about her, he wants her to meet the family, he has butterflies. He just doesn't drop the L Bomb willy nilly. But he hints at it broadly. He has no emotional barriers any more. He is starting to fall in love. He wants her to meet mommy. There is no way that Ashley is NOT putting out on this date. I mean, that speech right there? That was a lobster dinner and a Cartier necklace rolled into one for a girl with the self esteem of a bivalve and the eating habits of a... jazzercise dentist. Ashley claims she is falling in love with Ben, too. Maybe. He feels like her boyfriend. Honestly. Except for the other five guys.

The morning, the five guys are given the rude awakening that Ben is not home. Yep, it's an all nighter. She owed it to him after all those sweet words, right? (NB: Ladies, you don't owe anybody any body ever.) J.P. has gone mute with rage at the injustice of "his" "girlfriend" spending all night with another guy. Ames seems much more logical and nonchalant about it, while Lucas clenches his jaw and gets even redder in the face, and Constantine wonders what's going on, but it's J.P. who is really feeling it. He curses in his interview and storms out of the hotel room, but when he, Ames, and Lucas head out on their group date he is all smiles and hugs for Ashley. Probably because when Ben got home he made it clear that nothing physical happened with Ashley and that they had separate rooms. Which is probably just chivalrous bullshit, right? Like whatever producer is tasked with following them around while they fondle each other, was like, fine, do it (yes, IT), but deny it later so we can pretend the fantasy suites matter.

Anyway. On the group date, Ashley explains that the Taiwanese have a rich tradition of wedding photos. J.P. gets all huffy again, because he doesn't want to see Ashley in a wedding dress with any other guy. The men have to dress up in funny costumes so Ashley can laugh at them and also the Taiwanese culture, but mostly just the Bachelors, because they wouldn't want to seem racist. Lucas has to wear a "dress," which is really just a traditional Taiwanese wedding suit. The yellow silk matches his hair and he kind of looks like a banana. Ames is wearing an unfortunate powder blue tuxedo with a pink ruffled shirt and a white feathery corsage, which I think is universally intended to be worn by the good-natured who don't mind being gently mocked. J.P. is wearing a black tux. Ashley comes out in an appropriately matching outfit, like it's some weird paper doll cross-cultural matching game. I think Ashley has dressed the men in order of marriageability. In that she wouldn't want to flat out mock who she actually wants to marry. So Lucas gets the worst, Ames the second, and J.P. is wearing a totally normal tux. There's something blatant going on, but I don't quite care enough to flesh it out, so use your imagination and PhDs.