By LuluBates
Up in the hotel room, the men are chittering with excitement like tweens at a semi-formal. They just can't believe it! They knew it! Didn't they say! Oh boys, don't let Ali catch you gossiping or she'll demand that you act like men too! A knock on the door brings new excitement: A solo date! Craig -- the incredibly boring Pennsylvania lawyer with no apparent charisma and Ken doll plastic molded hair -- swears he'll sue if he doesn't get a one-on-one date with Ali. The date goes to Tennessee Ty, so you're on notice, show! Ali swears she won't even think about Justin for another second, but then references Justin every few minutes to be certain we won't forget she had some dramaz. Ali takes Ty to a Turkish bath even though they don't normally allow women in to the space. But, don't worry Turkish culture, she's still wearing the cojones she strapped on earlier to confront He Who Shall Not Be Named. To respect the Turkish culture, Ali ties a towel around her boobs, leaving her midriff revealed. Then she makes out with Ty. Yeah, I don't think they'll be letting any other women in the Turkish bath anytime soon. Direct all your hate mail and evil eyes at Ali, ladies! Back at the hotel room, the group date invitation arrives. Everyone but Frank's name is called. Frank high fives himself for scoring a one-on-one date with Ali. But you can hear his little heart break break break as the camera cuts to Ali rubbing all over Ty. I am loathe to think how many boners that little lady has felt on her road to love.
After rubbing one out in the Turkish bath, Ali and Ty take some time for sustenance. Ty lists all the things he loves about Ali and reminds her that she can ask him anything she wants. So she asks him about his divorce, 'cause: Duh. She wants to know what happened and Ty explains that he divorced his wife because she insisted on working outside of the home. That's right, SHE HAD A JOB. He says it like it is as shocking as if his wife had a penis. She left the home and earned money! This is grounds for divorce! Twenty Turkish men stand up and applaud this notion. Ali's eyes get really wide and she starts blinking really hard as Ty pretends that he's totally over the notion that women need to stay home. Ty explains that he now knows women are CEOs and, like, schoolmarms and prostitutes and stuff. He gets it! Now. He's lived! He's changed! He totally understands that women can do more than wash dishes, mend clothes, pluck chickens, and birth babies. You know, if they have to. Or insist on it. Or if it will allow him to win this show and get on Dancing With the Stars. Ali is sitting very straight and blinking a lot and pretending that Tennessee Ty and his hillbilly mentality are totally normal. Like a successful girl from San Francisco who was a sales rep for Facebook would tie on an apron and raise chickens and children in Tennessee! I mean, unless she really wanted to. Ali tamps down her horror and gives Ty a rose anyway. She approves of the fact that he is honest about his bullshit beliefs about gender roles. Ali, I am honest when I say I flipped off the television while Ty was talking. Send that big-eared chucklehead home!
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