Who in the What Now?

S06E03

Outside, Ali has been swept away on a mini-date by some guy with big aspirations but small fine motor skills. He struggles to open a champagne bottle for like five minutes, blaming it on his "fragile hands," like THAT will endear you to a girl. "I fell in love with first his fragile hands, and then him. They were just so slim and delicate, how could I not?" Inside, Tennessee Ty is rallying the troops against Justin. Everyone hates him, although it is still not quite clear why. Ty claims that Justin is two-faced, but the only two-faced thing we have seen him do is obfuscate about hobbling over to Ali's while baiting everyone with the truth. Ty does not notice that Justin has joined the group and is listening to Ty's rant, so Justin calls him out. He wants everyone to just come clean about whatever their problems are with him. He waits, and finally Ty asks him if he is a two-faced liar. Justin says no and then they all debate it for a while. Justin moans that he has always made friends easily, and it stings that everyone hates him. No one really cares. Including me. And probably you, because we all know that Justin snuck off to see her and has been lacing the conversation with annoying in-jokes that only he gets. Thus: Blech. Also, blech? The faux chivalrous attitude pervading the group allowing them to all gang up on one guy for "not being there for Ali," like, shut up, Tennessee Ty! You are on a REALITY TV SHOW, no one is there for the right reasons. Unless the right reason is for at least county-wide fame and a shot at Dancing with the Stars [of Maricopa County].

Frank is back to his whinging, and Craig R. is giving him the rather reasonable advice that this is a test of mental stamina as much as virility, er... LOVE. Frank nods because he might possibly get that, although he also really wants to talk to his mom, because only she would understand what he is going through, and he kind of misses their basement. But regardless, this tortured heart thing is going to be awesome for his screenwriting career. Now he knows pain firsthand! Roberto pulls Ali aside for a quick snuggle and a shot over the bow at Justin. Roberto frames this as "protecting" Ali, but whatever. Ali laughs and asks if he knows that Justin came to visit her. Roberto did not know that. He did not know that at all. Ali looks troubled that she spilled Justin's beans, but Roberto has no issues with running to the other guys and divulging the new information. Obviously Tennessee Ty wastes no time in gathering up some pitchforks, torches, tar and feathers and confronting Justin. They ask him whether he went to Ali's house yesterday. Justin looks shocked, and you can tell he's debating whether to flat-out lie, but then remembers all the damn Cameras of Truth and admits it. Everyone starts hissing like rattlers at a faith healing and crying about the unfairness of it all. Oh please, you big babies, you're just mad you didn't have the stones to do it first. Everyone calls bullshit on Justin, who ends up getting really upset as person after person yells at him. I really don't get it. The editing just isn't laying out a story that adequately explains why all the guys hate Justin. I mean, I know what People magazine says, but if it's not in the show, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN (yet). So this Justin-bashing is just odd, considering they are all in competition with each other and should all hate each other, not just Justin. And Tennessee Ty as ringleader is really unattractive... and he wasn't that attractive to begin with. Anyway, whatever. If Justin had two legs he would totally piledrive them all. The men are all piecing together the fact that Justin went up to Ali's house before Hunter's date. So then they get their Jockeys in a bunch for poor Hunter, completely robbing Ali of her "meh" feelings. Unfair! Outside, Justin is taking some alone time, but the microphone is picking up his whimpering. Finally Harrison comes in to earn the rest of his salary and hauls Ali away for her pre-Rose Ceremony meditation.