How many bachelors are left now? Five? I keep thinking this is over, but you know what? It's not over. Nothing is over!
Oh, god. So they're still in Banff, not Banff "Springs," which is the name of the hotel they're staying at, and not the town. Jillian, who's been knocking it out, looks-wise, over the last couple of episodes in Banff, talks about how huge it is to meet guys' families. In which case I'm sure she's happy to be in the hands of a television show like The Bachelorette, which is always classy and treats love with the reverence and solemnity it deserves.
So we're in Philadelphia, which is Reid's hometown, and right away we're looking at the famous steps in front of the Philadelphia Museum of Art that Rocky jogged up, and there's Rocky's statue which was erected about eighty years ago, like come back to the twenty-first century, Bachelorette! Ah, who'm I kidding. If I ever go to Philadelphia, that's the first place I'm going.
And there's Reid waiting on some street somewhere with some coffee, and Jillian gets out of a car and they embrace and squeal. Jillian's excited to explore Philadelphia, but she's worried Reid will see she's not a good fit. Which is kind of an odd way to put it. Shouldn't she be worried that she'll see Reid isn't a good fit? I mean, she is, ostensibly, in charge here, right? The two of them sit on a bench and talk about being nervous about the first hometown date, and then they nuzzle and kiss and are unfortunately not pelted with batteries by passing Philadelphians.
So the two of them go for a stroll, and Jillian raves about how beautiful the city is. "It would be a very easy city to live in," she says. Unless one of the actual bachelors is from, I don't know, some place like Tehran, the same's probably true elsewhere.
Time to meet the family! Reid says approval of his family is so important that if one member of his family disapproves, he'd say she's not the girl for him. Really, Reid? Would that one member of your family be living with Jillian for the rest of his or her life? That's rather disappointing.
Reid's going to introduce Jillian to his mom Rhonda, dad Larry, and brothers Brett and Chad. Reid says his mother calls him every few days to ask about who he's dating, and when he's getting serious, etc. "Now that I'm turning thirty in two days, she can get a little crazy," he says.
So Jillian sits down with Reid and his family while everyone drinks beer and Rhonda talks about how it would nice to add a designer to the family, since Reid is a Realtor. And sure enough, mom babbles a little bit about how Reid is good with kids and so she figures he'll get married and have kids, finishing, incongruously, with, "...but, whatever." In an interview, Rhonda tells us that now that Reid is pushing thirty, they'd really like to see him settle down. But she doesn't want to see him hurt, so she wants to make sure that Jillian's the one. Well, do you know she's seeing four other men, and that's actually the fewest number of men she's been seeing over the last couple of weeks?
Jillian and Rhonda sit down for a heart-to-heart in which Jillian tells Rhonda that she thinks Reid had a little bit of trouble opening up, and Rhonda agrees, and neither one of them sees fit to point out that total emotional recluse Reid is on a television show being watched by millions. Jillian asks Rhonda if she's Reid's type, and Rhonda says she thinks Jillian's adorable. Good thing, otherwise the almost thirty-year-old would be required to dump the woman his mommy doesn't like.
And then Jillian talks to Reid's brothers, who ask her why they think Reid's still single. Well, if you guys don't know.... Chad thinks it's a commitment thing, as does Brett. "He doesn't have a problem finding women. They kinda just go away," Brett tells Jillian, which must be awfully reassuring to Jillian.
And then Reid has a heart-to-heart with his dad, who asks if he really likes Jillian, and Reid sounds kind of equivocal with his "I think she is a girl I could fall in love with," and his dad advises him to decide if it's a match he could be happy with, and if it is, then he should go into it head over heels, without worrying about getting hurt. And Larry tells us in an interview that he wishes his son would just make up his own mind about stuff like this. Yeah, seriously.
And then surprise! There's Reid's sisters-in-law and grandmother coming by for a surprise birthday party for him. Oh, are there cameras here? We had no idea! Reid says it was nice to have the woman who he just met a couple of weeks ago who is dating four other guys with him at his milestone birthday party with his family. Jillian kisses him, totally making everyone uncomfortable, and his sister-in-law says that they never see him like this. Mom agrees, and she thinks it was good to see Reid so affectionate, so maybe Jillian could be the one. Well, Mom: twenty percent odds right now. We'll let you know. For her part, Jillian says she fell for Reid's family, and everything was great, but she's got four other great guys that she's going to be doing this with. Amazingly, even after pointing this out, she manages not to say, "This is so fucked up."
And now we go to Valencia, Calif., Michael's hometown, and he tells us that he's excited not only to see his family, but also to see his "lady," like maybe Michael is no longer a breakdance instructor but is actually a country music singer in his sixties.
At his parents' home, we see that Michael has an identical twin brother, Steve, and Jillian's going to meet him as well as his mother, Lynn, and his dad Frank, but sister Jenna is out of the country in Australia. Michael tells his family that he's excited for them to meet her, because she's going to "light this place up," and she's adorable and smokin' hot and one time he saw her in pajamas and he "almost fainted" because she was so beautiful. Mom sits there sighing like this is the most romantic thing she's ever heard of instead of this weird dystopian love game.
Then there's Jillian at the door, and Michael jumps up in the air, and Jillian hugs everybody. She reminds us that she talked to Michael last time about how young he is. Way to bring that up apropos of nothing! Jillian tells the family that she and her friend sat down and came up with a list of non-negotiable things to look for in a mate, and Lynn reacts like Jillian discovered the cure for cancer, and No. 1 on the list for Jillian on non-negotiable qualities is her partner has to make her laugh. And then Lynn is inviting Jillian to go help her with dinner, which is the cue for Michael and Steve to go switch clothes and pull the ol' twin switcheroo on her. It's kind of funny the way the brothers argue about how to go about this, with Michael warning Steve not to kiss her. Near as I can tell, the only reason Steve shouldn't be allowed to kiss her is that he wasn't one of thirty men selected by Bachelorette producers.
Meanwhile, Lynn is telling Jillian how much Michael likes to talk about her, and how he adores her, and then Michael comes in, pretending to be Steve, only Jillian saw through it right away. Man, glad that paid off.
Frank tells Michael that Jillian is the "real deal," that he really likes her, but he's a little concerned for his son, who Frank says has fallen really hard for Jillian. Michael says it really brought it home for him, that his parents could tell that he's really fallen for Jillian.
Jillian goes out on the patio to chat with Steve, who asks her, "Is Michael's age a factor for you?" and Jillian babbles a whole lot of words that mean "Yes," and Steve says that when they were younger, they always figured they'd get married younger so they'd have time to spend with their wives before kids entered the picture. "Mike wants a wife, you know what I mean? We want to be, like, be good husbands, you know what I mean? Be good fathers." Jillian tells us, "Steve laid a lot of my fears to rest." Really? She says she's been concerned about Michael's age, but what if sh
e's with someone who's thirty-six who doesn't make her laugh? Good point! Or, what if you're with someone who's forty-six who does nothing but work on his model train set? Is she trying to say that she really wants a thirty-six-year-old who does make her laugh?
So then everyone sits down for dinner, and we're introduced to the sweet family tradition of the family question, and Frank asks Jillian what are three things about her that she's most proud of. They are, in order: 1) That she can laugh at just about anything; 2) she loves to see good in everybody, and 3) her energy or work ethic. I guess I misunderstood the question, and Frank actually asked her for three completely inane pseudo-attributes.
And then, in case you were wondering why we were told about a family member who couldn't be there, it's because sister Jenna is actually home from Australia because it's so important for her to be there to see if her brother is Jillian's absolute most favoritest of her five current boyfriends.
And then the family is dancing in the living room, and for god's sake why is Michael not pulling out the square of cardboard to show off some breakdancing? "Am I nuts are does that girl just fit right into the Stag crew?" Michael asks us. You're nuts. You should have seen her making out with Reid at his family birthday party! Lynn notes that there was a lot of back-and-forth between Jillian and Michael, and it was nice to see him so happy. Jillian says she had a great time, and the Staglianos are very down to earth, and it's clear they all think Michael is ready for something like this, and Michael tells us that he hasn't met a girl and he never will, and he thinks that to the day he dies, there will be something that will hook him with Jillian. Well, I hope it works out, because that's going to be a hard soundbite to explain to whoever he eventually winds up with.
Over to San Diego, now, which is Kiptyn's hometown, and he tells us this is a special day because he's "definitely aware that there's a strong possibility that I could fall in love with Jillian." Sigh. It's like something you can only hear sung by the gondoliers in Venice, isn't it? He's waiting by the beach when Jillian squeals and comes running over to hug him. She tells us that up until now, it's either been that she wants the guy she can't have and she can't be herself around him, or she doesn't want the guy who falls in love with her for being herself, but with Kiptyn, she feels she can be herself and be in love, or something like that. Then they are drinking wine on the beach, which is probably illegal. Kiptyn says she's going to be meeting his stepdad tonight, and then the thing we know they're making out. "If Kiptyn's family is as perfect as he is, this could be overwhelming."
Then she got worried because his house was so beautiful and rustic, whatever that's supposed to mean. She thinks this might be the first family she doesn't fit in with.
So inside the house, Jillian meets the family, and they hug -- is that painting fuzzed out? What, is it secretly a McDonald's billboard or something? Kiptyn says Jillian's meeting his mom Eve, stepdad Earl, sister Dahvia, brother Bryce and Bryce's girlfriend Nancy. Kiptyn says he hopes Jillian gets along with his family, because that would make things so much easier. Well, um, yeah.
And then Earl invites Jillian out to see the yard, where they have an "indoctrination" prepared for her, which turns out to be yellow caution tape around the hot tub, because they saw the last few episodes of The Bachelor. Jillian jokes that it won't stop her, and then tells us she loves it when people poke fun at her for being a skank. I mean, she words it differently, but that's the idea. Jillian can't promise there won't be another hot tub scene. Your dad must be so proud.
Kiptyn's parents then make her judge the lasagnas they made and the wines they selected, and Jillian considers herself a "foodie," like how annoying are people who refer to themselves as "foodies" anyway, and then Jillian picks lasagna No. 2 paired with the dark red wine, which is apparently the "correct" opinion for her to have on the subject of HER OWN PERSONAL FOOD PREFERENCES, and everyone toasts. And then suddenly Kiptyn's parents are speaking a little bit of French, and then Eve is classily tossing the wine onto the ground, and yelling, "Only Grandma drinks that!" and laughing uproariously, and somehow Jillian is under the impression that Kiptyn's parents are very polished and refined, like THEY PUT YELLOW POLICE TAPE AROUND THE HOT TUB BECAUSE OF YOUR SKINEMAX HOT TUB SCENE. "They might just think I'm a total hillbilly!" Well, impart your hot dog theory. I'm sure they'll be impressed.
So it's dinner time, and Jillian talks about how since her friend's wedding she knows what unconditional love is, and she's the only single one of her friends, and Kypyn's sister is advising him to get her pregnant, and then Eve sits down with Jillian to ask her if there was one thing she could change about herself to make Kiptyn happy, what would it be? Which is kind of one of those questions that begs for a bullshit answer, like when a prospective employer asks about a bad habit you have and you say, "I work too hard," or something, and Jillian spouts some nonsense about having to work for her happiness, and Eve, amusingly, is all, "What does that mean?" and points out that that's a contradiction in terms. Jillian says Eve was the first parent who really truly grilled her, and was kind of intense and intimidating.
Meanwhile, Kiptyn's talking to his sister about whether he would actually ask her to marry him. Kiptyn says it may be premature to be thinking about something like that happening in the three weeks or month, but the phase will help answer that question.
Back inside, Eve is "jokingly" asking about how she would deal with an overbearing mother-in-law, and Jillian says she would always want Eve to tell her what she's thinking, which clearly isn't a problem for Eve, who tells Jillian that she's really special and has given Kiptyn a real spark.
And then later on, Kiptyn and Jillian head out to the hot tub, with Eve watching on the inside, and Kiptyn says that everyone loved Jillian, and he thinks they're going to have a chance to continue exploring, but he's nervous because he's not going to see her until the rose ceremony.
up in the California tour is Jesse's family's winery in Carmel. He drives up in a tractor, and he tells us that the last time he brought a girl home to his parents was four years ago, so this is a big step. They hug, and he proudly shows off the family winery. Jillian talks about how he opened up to her at the lodge the last time they talked, so she hopes things continue. Nothing could make me more excited than more scenes of people sitting around saying trivial things about untrivial matters!
He asks her if she has any concerns about him, and her only concern is if he's ready. "But I think, you know, that's something you have to think about, and let me know what you think," she says. After he figures out exactly what that meant, he talks about how his relationships often take him a long time to figure out. She points out they don't have a lot of time, and he says he thinks things have gone as well as they could have for the short time.
Time to meet the family. Dad Joseph, mom Betty, and brother Jacob. Betty leads a Hungarian toast at dinner, and Jillian asks Jacob if he's dating anyone, and Jacob is this massive guy with long hair and a beard and he talks about how women are expensive. So no plans to date any time soon!
Jesse goes outside to talk to his brother, who wants to know if Jillian's getting all baby-biological-clock crazy, and Jesse talks about Jillian's five-year plan to have kids, which I think is a few years longer then any plan I remember Jillian telling us about, and Jesse defensively tells his brother that if he got married he'd want to have kids in five years. "What the hell?" says Jacob.
Meanwhile, Jillian's chatting with Betty, who acknowledges that her son can be standoffish at first but when he's comfortable with opening up, he does. Like he is with his brother, using the word "dude" way too much, and Jacob is focusing on how cute Jillian is. Jacob tells us that he's jealous of Kiptyn, who seems quite excited.
So Jacob sits down with Jillian to ask her why she thinks Jesse could be the one, and Jillian says a whole lot of nonsense about Jesse taking care of her and her taking care of him, and Jacob thankfully interrupts her to ask if they've been naked together yet, and Jillian says, "It doesn't get like that for a little while," by which I guess she means the overnight dates. Jacob says it doesn't surprise him that Jillian says Jesse took the longest to open up, since his brother is "an emotional ice cube" sometimes. Jillian says she learned a lot about Jesse tonight. And then the evening culminates with Jacob on guitar, Jesse on drums, Joseph on tambourine, "rocking out," in the parlance of our times.
And then Jillian and Jesse sit down for some mind-numbingly boring chit-chat about the geopolitical picture and what America's role should be in a rapidly changing world, and also some of the ideological differences between Canadians and Americans, which turns them on so much that they start making out. Kiptyn compares Jillian to a fine wine and then his explanation of the metaphor doesn't work out, what with how you want to drink it right now, but you come back to it months or years later and drink it all in then... or something.
And now, the most dramatic hometown date in Bachelorette history, we've been promised, as a prelude to the most dramatic confrontation in Bachelorette history. Austin, Texas, Wes's hometown. Jillian thinks Wes "gets" her more than the other bachelors do, and they're very much alike, because Jillian buys into the tired stereotype of "small town = honest and decent," and I'd like to point out that when it was time for the bachelors to visit Jillian's hometown, she brought them to her adopted hometown of Vancouver and not her actual small hometown of Peace River or even her grandparents' home in Kelowna, because she wants to live in a big city but if you think that living in the city means you're deceitful and materialistic, then you need to constantly remind people what a simple small-town girl you are. Sorry. Didn't mean to get on a rant.
So anyway, Wes. Jillian says there's something one of them is holding something back, and she can't pinpoint if it's her or Wes. Uh, you can't tell if you're holding something back? What you mean is, the producers have hinted to you that Wes is holding something back, but you have to pretend that you're figuring out something is a little off.
So Jillian meets up with Wes, who introduces her to his band, while he tells us that they have a new CD coming out. And in Austin, Jillian claps and giggles about how awesome it was to have Wes sing to her. And Wes tells us how good it felt to get back up on stage, and whatever else you can say about Wes, he seems genuine in his love for performing.
But we gotta manufacture some drama, right? Because I suppose it was Jake's idea to fly into Austin to confront Wes about having a girlfriend, right? "I'm not here to get a rose back," he tells us, saying Jillian made her decision, but she made it with "incomplete information." He calls Wes a "deceiver" and chauvinistically says Jillian needs protecting.
Back at the Lame Ole Opry, Wes is OH GOD NO HE'S PLAYING "LOVE IT DON'T COME EASY" AGAIN. Jillian says it felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest. I think that's your dinner, Jillian.
And then the dramatic music plays as we see Jake calling Tanner of all people to ask if he's doing the right thing in telling Jillian that Wes has a girlfriend. We don't hear Tanner speak at all, but presumably the answer has something to do with a pumice stone and nail clippers.
And there's Jillian the groupie excitedly talking to Wes about how cool it would be if his band takes off, and Wes says it's already taking off and she might as well get on the train now. She asks if they make a good team, and Wes says he has to have her to himself. "I am crazy about you," Jillian tells him and asks if he thinks she's not right for him. Wes says the minute he thinks she's not right for him, he's out of there. And he says he's here for the right reasons, and he doesn't know what to say, and Jillian tells him he's saying the right things. Man, he's saying things that would sound immature even for high-schoolers in small-town Alberta.
Meanwhile, Jake has finally changed out of his pilot's uniform and is vowing to put an end to Wes playing with Jillian's heart.
So now Jillian's waiting around in a hotel room, waiting for Wes to pick her up, and then there's Jake at the door. She says her first thought was that he was coming back to ask why she let him go. They sit down and she says something lame about how of all the guys he's the one she's most wanted to check on to see if he's OK, which we all know she'd be saying to whoever was sitting there.
So then he says he's not there to get her back, but because she thinks she'll have a hard time with one guy in particular, who she correctly identifies as Wes. "Because of his career and why he's here. Is that what you think?" she asks him. "My body just went numb," says Jake, like welcome to what it's like WATCHING this nonsense, and I'm guessing the instructions from the producers were to draw this out as long as possible. "Wes is here for his career, Wes doesn't love me, Wes is gay..." prompts Jillian. "Wes has a girlfriend. Her name is Laurel," says Jake, who says Wes confided in him and they talked about Laurel "more than three times." So... four times?
Jillian looks stricken, and Jake apologizes because she's someone who deserves someone who worships the ground she walks on. She asks if he's one hundred percent sure, and Jake says he wouldn't be here if he wasn't. He also says Wes will tell her that Laurel is a girlfriend from his past who he's still really good friends with. Jillian, fighting back tears, talks about how what goes around comes around, and talks about how she's sincere and a good person, and she has to put up with all this, and maybe she should just call it quits. "You can tell Wes that I came here," says Jake, adding that he'll be in Austin and if she needs him she can call him. Jillian tells us that she's upset and really disappointed.
Jillian, still teary-eyed, says Wes has been talking about his family from day one, and she was really excited to meet them, but he fucked it up. We watch Wes walking down the hallway, not yet aware that this is about to become the most dramatic confrontation in Bachelorette history.
After the commercial break, Jillian says she needs to hear it from Wes, that she needs to grill him as hard as she can. Wes knocks on the door, and Jillian invites him in for a drink. "Sho' nuff, sho' nuff," says Jillian. They sit down, and Jillian's being fake perky, and then says she needs to talk to him. And instead of asking him flat out about Laurel, she just asks if there's anything that he needs to tell her about his past or anything. "I hate that you're asking me about this," says Wes, who thinks she's asking him about his career again, but that's not it, so he just asks her to ask what it is that she needs to ask. She says someone told her that he has a girlfriend, and he's all confused. "One of my guys?" he says, and Jillian beats around the bush before finally explaining that Jake was there about an hour ago, and told her. Wes, looking awfully guilty, clears his throat, and then says, "That's crazy." Hilariously, he then tells Jillian exactly what Jake said he would say, about how this is an old girlfriend with whom he's still friends. I think, though, it's worth pointing out that Jake might know that that's what Wes would say if it were also the truth. But kind of tellingly, he gets a little confrontational with her, all, "If
you wanna believe that," and Jillian says she doesn't know what to believe. She says Jake is someone she trusts, and she doesn't know why he would mislead her. Wes offers that Jake "misheard," which is hilarious. She asks him if he were the last guy there, would he at least date her? "I wouldn't leave," says Wes, and he tells her he's not playing any games, and that he's not a good liar (agreed!) and she's got to figure this out. Jillian asks if he would want to work this out with Jake. "Bring him out. I don't care," says Wes.
So Jillian calls Jake. Of course, the cameras are already in Jake's hotel room (which is probably just a couple of doors down anyway) when he answers the call. Jillian asks him to come down, and doesn't say anything about Wes being there, but Jake knows what's what. "He's not going to lie to me," Jake tells us.
Jake knocks, and Wes opens the door. "Well, Jake. The man of character," says Wes. Heh. Jillian rubs her eyes on the couch. Wes figures they need to talk. Sho' nuff, Wes. They sit down on the couch, Jillian between them, and Wes starts in with Jake having a motive and a shit-eating grin, and Jake wants Wes to look him in the eye and say he didn't tell Jake on multiple occasions that he had a girlfriend. Jake also says Wes thumped him in the back of the head when Tanner had spoken up, like Jake had let the cat out of the bag. Wes is all "what are you talking about?" and goes on about Jake wanting to ruin his character, and Jake gets all self-righteous and what he's gone through to come down here, and Wes makes fun of Jake being on bended knee, talking to god, which makes me wonder if Jake talked a lot about religion that didn't get anywhere near airing. Jake tells Wes he's disappointed, and Wes says he is too, and even Jillian has had enough at this point and says she needs to figure things out and sees Jake to the door. Jake apologizes to Wes, and Wes makes a "whatever" face at him. Jake tells us that it's been an emotional roller-coaster and that Wes should be ashamed to still be here. And you know what? I like Jake enough. But him breaking down and crying in the hotel hallway? Give me a BREAK.
So now Jillian sits down to Wes, and tells us she doesn't know what to believe. That's what she tells us. To Wes, she says, "That was weird," and Wes agrees that it was weird. So does she follow through and meet his family? Wes says something about not wanting this to affect things, that he doesn't want to drag things out if it's not going to come to anything. Well, Wes, if you're telling the truth and Jake is lying, why should this affect you and Jillian? But Jillian doesn't see this giant red flag and starts crying that she wants to meet his family. Wes keeps clearing his throat. Despite the fact that she seems to want to keep going, Wes says he wishes he did have a girlfriend so he could say that she busted him, whatever THAT'S supposed to mean, and despite the fact that Wes is now clearly trying to get Jillian to end it with him, Jillian doesn't see it and still says she'd like to meet his family. "Meeting his family might help lay some of those rumours to rest," she tells us. How awesome would it be for Jillian to show up and have his family be all, "Uh, you're not Laurel!"
So it's apparently late by the time Wes and Jillian get over to Wes's place, where Jillian meets his stepmom Renee, mom Caroline, and three sisters. Jillian says it was tough to put on their poker faces, but there was some tension there. She says she thought it would be fair to tell them why they were so late, even though it's Wes who broaches the subject at the dinner table, and says one of the guys who got kicked off the show came back to tell Jillian that Wes has a girlfriend, and the various women around the table are all shocked and go the "they're just jealous" route and say that guys have always been jealous of Wes and everything he has going for him. Well, it don't come easy. That's for sure.
Jillian goes out to talk to Wes's stepmom, who says Wes will tell her the truth, and that he would have stepped out of the process already if he didn't have feelings for her. "He doesn't have three or four relationships going on. He's not like that," says his stepmom. "Mmm-hmm," says Jillian, WHO HAS FIVE RELATIONSHIPS GOING ON. Or does Mom mean that Wes only has one or two or three relationships going on? Anyway, the upshot is that Jillian is relieved to find out from the totally unbiased observers in Wes's family that he is as totally awesome as she thinks he is. "Wes wants to be loyal. Wes wants to be a one-woman man," says Jillian. "Wants" to be? It's actually really easy to do, Jillian. Meanwhile, Wes's sisters are ridiculously good-looking. I'm on Team Wes's Sisters! Then Wes tells us that Jake is who Jake is. Which is, according to Wes, a piece of shit who needs to get off his high horse. He says Jillian likes him, which is all that matters.
And now Jillian's back in L.A., which was a relief after the ups and downs. "Austin just about pushed me over the edge," Jillian tells us. She can't handle any more surprises, she adds. Well, then she's probably disheartened to see that the cameras are just filming her for no apparent reason in her hotel room when there's a knock on the door.
It's Ed. What have you done? You were out! He jokes that he was "in the neighbourhood." They sit down to talk. She says she's happy that he's here, but she wants to know why. "I realized that I made a huge mistake," he says. He says that he got home and couldn't stop thinking about her. He says he needs another shot. "Are you kidding me?" she says, not angrily. She says she's not sure if he's aware what she's gone through. He says that he broke down a little, and he felt terrible, and he kept thinking about it. "I made a bad choice," he says, and he wouldn't want to do it again. I hope he means "I agreed to be on The Bachelorette." She hems and haws and says she has to make sure she's fair to the other guys, and he acknowledges that there are other guys here who she's compatible with, but he doesn't think any of them would be more compatible with her. "I want another shot," he says again. She says she has some concerns but he should come to the rose ceremony tonight, and he instantly gets excited and starts babbling that he'll come, that she can make her decision there, and he promises he won't let her down. They hug, and Jillian says she doesn't know what to think, because Ed has already let her down once before by WANTING TO KEEP HIS JOB. She says Ed's taken a lot of time away from her, and she needs to think about the other guys, and since she's got to cut it to four, now she's going to have to cut two guys tonight.
After the commercial break, Jillian tells us that tonight's rose ceremony is going to be "borderline excruciating." It's weird that she doesn't know it would actually be an improvement for anything on this show to be only "borderline" excruciating. She's struggling because Ed's in the mix, but she hasn't met his family.
She sits down with Chris Harrison, for the nightly "Jillian gets a chance to babble all the inane things she didn't or maybe already did babble already earlier this episode" portion of the episode. This is also known as "Daniel checks out a classic hockey game for a few minutes involving the Edmonton Oilers on the wicked cool DVD set he got for Christmas" portion of the evening.
And then my favorite part of every episode: the last ten minutes! Chris tells the dudes that what they don't know is that there is someone else joining them for the rose ceremony. Ed strolls out, and reactions range from impassive (Wes) to disbelief (Kiptyn) to grinning (Reid, who's totally going home tonight).
And then Jillian comes out, and the guys all smile at her. Thankfully, while not all of them are wearing ties, at least none of them is wearing jeans (unless maybe they're dark jeans). Jillian babbles the usual nonsense about hard decisions, and then picks up the first rose. My prediction: Reid and Jesse are going home, unless she
decides that it's not fair for Ed to come back, especially since she hasn't met his family, in which case it will be Reid and Ed.
So, first rose: Reid. D'oh! Well, never let it be said that I'm not an idiot. Reid, with his glasses, is looking particularly Chandler-esque. Then it's Kiptyn, then it's Ed. Last rose is up for grabs for Wes, Michael or Jesse, and it goes to... Wes. Michael shuffles his feet and stares at the floor and Jesse stares straight ahead.
He comes over, gives her a perfunctory hug, and doesn't say anything before walking out. "I feel like shit right now. This sucks," he tells us, adding that if he were a betting man, he would have bet on himself making it. He blames Ed for taking his spot. Michael smiles as he approaches her to give her a hug, and tells her it's OK and he'll miss her. "For a girl that just dumped me, who just broke my heart, I could not say a bad thing about the girl," he says. Aw, Michael. He comes off like a goofy kid, but genuine. "Aw, man, I straight up loved that girl, didn't I?" he says, and adds that the time he saw her he would have been down on a knee for her. He hopes that it's not a case of not recognizing something until it's gone. I can't even make fun of him. He seems so sincere. If it's any consolation, Michael, I can't imagine good-looking guys who can dance will ever have a hard time finding someone to spend time with.
Jillian tells the remaining guys that they're going to have a fun week in Spain, which has everything she thinks of as fun: "food, fashion, architecture and romance." Are Wes's sisters invited?
Over the closing credits, we watch Kiptyn's parents play the guitar and sing "The Bachelorette Blues," which is totally polished and refined. I'm kind of surprised Kiptyn's stepdad isn't wearing a monocle.
Team Wes's Sisters!
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