Previously on Angel, Gunn's a murderer, Wesley's a stalker, Angel's a voyeur, Cordy's a loon, and Connor's in desperate need of better role models.
We open on a pile of newspapers, and see the headline "Crime Wave Shuts Down City." Seems like that would merit placement above the fold. I'm intrigued by the glimpse we get of the top story. It looks like there might be a picture of the sky, and while I can't quite make out the words for sure, I think the headline might be "Where did it go?" If so, hee. Actually, given that it is Los Angeles, I wouldn't be shocked to see "Sun: Still Missing" as a back-page item because the big news was Tom Cruise winning $10 million in a defamation suit. But there's exciting music playing, so let's move on. Connor grabs the pile of papers and swings them around to hit a vamp in the face. And then there's a lot of punching and leaping about as he battles a crowd of vampires. Eventually he is pinned against a wall by two vamps, and asks, "Let me guess -- out-of-towners?" One vamp admits that they're from Tuscon. Connor breaks free and reveals the trusty wrist-mounted stakes. Poof, poof, thud, crash, quip, poof. Connor sighs, "Tourists." So the quipping is genetic? Shame. Connor sees two more groups of vampires approaching.
Wesley opens a wall safe hidden behind the traditional hinged painting in the Hyperion's office. Cordy holds the bottle o' soul, and looks at it speculatively, perhaps thinking, "I could glow just like that if I wanted to." As Wesley gingerly puts the bottle into the safe, the audience yells, "It's gonna get stolen!" Because otherwise, why make a big deal about where it is? And presumably the only person with a reason to take it is Angelus, and wouldn't he know the combination to his own safe? This has all the signs of one of Wesley's brilliant plans. Everyone's nervous about Angelus, but Wesley reminds us that they had to remove Angel's soul to find out what he knows about Satan. He reassuringly adds that Angelus will want to break free and kill them all. Cordy agrees, "He'll want to make us suffer." This is quite the morale-boosting conversation. Wesley says that Angelus will try to confuse them, which is about as challenging as trying to make fire hot. He says, "I've spent my life training for this, and I'm still not ready." I thought he spent his life training to boss around a teenaged girl. Wesley continues, "He's smarter than I am, and a great deal more focused." Too easy. While Wesley goes on telling scary campfire stories, the camera swings around so that we can see a small monitor on the front desk, and then lazily moves downstairs. I like the dreamlike camera motion. In the basement, Angelus sits against the wall in his cage and slowly sings, "If you go into the woods tonight,/ you won't believe your eyes./ If you go into the woods tonight,/ you're in for a big surprise..."
Credits, quick, before he mentions teddy bears and spoils the mood. Although maybe he has his own version of the chorus, since the lyrics he's singing aren't quite the usual ones. You've got to be pretty evil to make up your own words to a popular song. Believe me. This week's Boreanaz quote: "I like socks. Different, colorful ones. That's more interesting to talk about."
Wesley descends into the basement with a crossbow. Angelus gives him an Evil Look. Now that I've finally seen Profit, I've learned that the trick to looking evil is to bow your head slightly while continuing to look straight ahead, and smirk slightly. I'm not sure why it works, although I think eyebrows have something to do with it, but it's instant evil. Being dramatically lit and wearing some extra eyeliner also helps, of course. Angelus steps out of the corner with a cheery "Wes!" He mentions Wesley's role in desouling him and also says, "Angel schmangel," which is amusing but isn't going to score very high on anyone's list of diabolical things to say. Wesley stays back on the other side of the room as he notes, "The last time you were free, you terrorized Sunnydale." Yeah, but so have most of friends, so big deal. Angelus purrs, "That Slayer. She's a pistol." I think Boreanaz is trying too hard in this scene to imbue every single line with menace. I'd like it better if he were more casual. Wesley says, "I've imagined this moment many times." Dude, that's just weird. He again mentions all the preparation he's done, saying, "I've read everything ever written about you." No wonder Wesley went nuts; he's been reading fanfic for years. Angelus accuses of Wesley of trying to flatter him, and then offers to tell him anything: "How sweet that virgin gypsy tasted? The special smell of a newborn's neck? My first nun -- now that's a great story."
Wesley asks if Angelus knew Satan. Angelus complains that that isn't a "Wyndam-Pryce-worthy question," whatever the hell that means, so then Wesley asks why Angel wouldn't remember meeting Satan. Angelus doesn't know, but he has a question of his own: "What's the deal with Angel and Raiders of the Lost Ark?" Hee. Incidentally, I don't like referring to Angelus and Angel like they're different people, but this conversation would be bewildering otherwise, so I think we're all stuck with it. Angelus summarizes Angel's "perfect day fantasy," and Wesley resists asking, "Was I in it?" Angelus questions Wesley's motives, adding, "The foul rag and bone shop of the heart. That's where you live." Wesley curses himself for not reading up on Yeats beforehand, and asks what Angelus means. Angelus moves up against the cage bars and hisses, "You want to impress the girl. Move in, get her to love you. After a couple days of flowers and chocolate-covered cherries --" He suddenly slams his hands against the bars, making Wesley jump. "-- You'll bend her over the kitchen counter and..." "That's supposed to rattle me?" Wesley asks, sounding a bit...well, rattled. Angelus notes that Fred is a little bony for him, and Wesley tries to turn the conversation back to Satan. Angelus won't be dissuaded, though, whispering, "Bet he loves to rub that shiny, bald head against her soft, milky skin." Somebody is a genius for realizing they could get away with that line. A genius, I tell you! Wesley glances over at a camera mounted on the wall as if he, too, expects the FCC to storm in any second. I wonder if this surveillance equipment is stuff he borrowed from Lilah. Between the last episode and this one, they seem to have installed all this stuff, unfastened Angelus, removed the table from the cage, and let Wo Pang out of the cage without anyone getting killed. While those aren't impossible tasks, I think it would have been nice to have one or two comments about how it was done, so we didn't think the writers were taking advantage of the break between episodes to duck those questions.
We cut upstairs to see that the rest of the MoG is watching the conversation on the monitor. They stare silently with folded arms as Angelus says, "It's not like your schoolgirl crush is a secret." Fred tells Gunn, "Remember, we can't believe anything [that] Angelus says." Gunn snaps, "How 'bout the stuff that's true? Can we believe that?" Cordy says that Angelus "lies with the truth," and somehow I don't think Gunn will find that comforting, either. Cary adds, "Don't let him get to you, kiwi." Is Gunn from New Zealand suddenly? They look back at the monitor as Wesley says, "You found a vulnerability, exploited it. Well done." Considering who he's dealing with, I'd be more impressed if Angelus failed to find a vulnerability.
Back downstairs, Angelus chuckles, "I'm just getting started." He says that Wesley's research on "the horny giant" is misguided. Wesley asks what he should be doing instead, but Angelus isn't in the mood to help. Wesley points out that if Angelus and Satan were enemies, Angelus should want to help them kill Satan. Angelus eyes Wesley speculatively and says, "You're not fooling anyone. Got some new clothes, cool haircut, hit the gym. You're still the same loser none of the other kids wanted to sit with at lunch." Angelus is definitely lying now: Wesley's haircut isn't cool. There's a nice wide shot of the two of them, with the cage bars dividing the frame. Which just makes me think how much I'd like it if they'd switch places. Although the unfortunate thing is that it allows me to notice that the light for the basement is inside the cage. That's not a good idea. I think I'll pretend I didn't see that. Angelus says he's got no reason to help, and asks, "What're you gonna do, kill me?" Wesley quietly says, "If I have to." Angelus laughs happily. There, that's better. He's spookier when he's cheerful. Wesley says they'll resoul him, and Angelus adds, "Making you a failure again." Wesley starts to lose his temper, and threatens to let Angelus rot in the basement. As Wesley heads for the stairs, Angelus calls, "Nice stamina, Wes. No wonder Fred's not interested." Wesley observes that Angelus must hate that Angel fights evil. Angelus responds by asking if it bothers Wesley to see "all those idiots flock around [Angel], calling him a champion. Anyone ever call you a champion?" Wesley says that he does his part. Angelus says, "Right, like letting Lilah suck [Cary's] brain." Boy, when he got to "suck," I was so sure that line was headed somewhere else. Then Angelus mentions Faith: "Good job being her Watcher. She turned out to be a peach." Angelus goes on to describe Wesley's kidnapping of Connor as "smooth." Wesley insists, "He survived!" Good grief, Wesley, you've had how long to practice a self-justifying speech and that's all you can come up with? So you didn't actually get Connor killed, hooray for you. Angelus wonders if Wesley has trouble understanding father-son bonds, "given that [his] own father's ashamed of [him]." Wesley fires back, "And Connor's ashamed of you." I'm sure that'll trouble Angelus terribly. Angelus twitches his head and complains that Connor gives him the creeps. Wesley tries to get back to the point, describing how Cordy saw Angelus with Satan in her vision. Angelus enthuses, "Oh yeah, let's talk about Cordy! Now there's a rack to write home about. Shame about the personality, though: 'Yap yap yap yap yap.'" Hee.
We cut upstairs to see Cordy, stone-faced, listening as Angelus imitates her. He whimpers in falsetto, "'Oh, Angel, we can't! I love you, but you were so bad. You ate babies!'" He grouses, "Chicks." Cary tells Cordy to ignore it, and Gunn offers to turn the television off. Cordy insists that she's fine. Fred repeats their mantra about how Angelus twists the truth. Angelus asks Wesley, "Which do you think is worse, Wes: stealing my kid like you did, or banging him like Cordelia?" Oops. Cordy sneers slightly. The rest of the gang looks at each other as Angelus describes "all that bumping and grinding, fire rainin' in the sky. Quite a picture. Well, more like a snapshot, 'cause, Connor..." Cary puts a hand on Cordy's shoulder as Fred insists that Angelus is being ridiculous. "Connor is Angel's son; it would be like sleeping with your --" She turns in time to see Cary making a "cut it" gesture. On the television, Angelus admits that Wesley thought he was doing the right thing. Suddenly a PA holds up a sign saying "Time to end the scene!" so Angelus growls, "Hey! Who's a guy gotta kill to get a drink around here?" The captioning substitutes "bang" for "kill," which I think is funnier. But that was still a very jarring line, in the bad way, because Angelus' sudden change of subject was way too abrupt.
Speaking of abrupt, there's a loud bang, and everyone upstairs turns to see that Connor has returned, looking a bit bloodied. I guess someone set the door on "slam dramatically," since half the time people come into the lobby without making a sound. Cordy asks what happened to him. Connor says, "They're coming from all over. Too many to fight." He notices everyone staring at him and snaps, "What?" Wesley returns and says that Angelus wants blood. Well, of course he does. He's a vampire. He also wants to kill you, are you going to let him do that, too? Please? I just don't understand why they care. I guess Angelus could refuse to talk until they fed him, but I don't really believe Angelus could make good on a threat like that. He's such a chatty guy. Oh well. Fred offers to go fetch some blood, and Gunn quickly says he'll go along.
Gunn and Fred enter the basement. Gunn's carrying a crossbow, and Fred is carrying a glass of blood. I hope it's actually plastic, or else that's inexcusably dumb. Anyway, as they walk downstairs, Angelus calls them Othello and Desdemona, then adds, "Oh, wait: Desdemona wasn't in love with the other guy." Fred goes to put the blood on a little cart while Angelus adds, "So much for 'Stand By Your Man.' Then again, you probably like her on her knees." Goodness. Gunn blusters that he'll dust Angelus. (I prefer alliteration, but assonance will do in a pinch.) Angelus asks if Gunn's boss would approve of that. Gunn says he doesn't have a boss, and Angelus sneers, "You might wanna tell Wesley that." He turns to Fred and says she looks "fresh and sweet." He continues, "But I hear you at night in your room with Gunn. The things you say...I'm lying there, listening, hands under the covers. I can't help myself; it's so...gripping." Yikes. And cool, because I think Angelus works best when he's telling the characters what Angel really thinks of them. Or what they'll believe Angel thinks of them. Whichever. Fred gasps, "You're a pig," illustrating just how overmatched she is here. Gunn makes Angelus back away from the bars as Fred wheels the cart toward the cage. There's a red line painted on the floor around the cage. Presumably to mark what's outside Angelus's reach. Well that's smart, at least. But the glass of blood is still dumb. Put it in a sippy cup, and then you can just toss it in from across the room. Plus: Angelus drinking from a sippy cup. Hee. Angelus reaches out to take the glass, and Fred stands there holding the cart, like a moron, when she should have moved away immediately, so after picking up the glass, Angelus kicks the cart. Fred doubles over as it hits her, and Angelus quickly reaches through the bars and grabs her. What did I say? Sheesh.
After the ads, Angelus is holding Fred up in front of him so that Gunn can't get a clear shot with the crossbow. Except Angelus can't change position without letting go of Fred, and Gunn could easily walk around to the side of cage and shoot Angelus in the back with no trouble. He doesn't, of course. Instead, he drops the crossbow and runs forward to pull Angelus's arms away. Angelus makes with the taunting again, but stops when a tranquilizer dart suddenly lands in his arm. He looks up to see Wesley standing on the stairs with the dart gun. Angelus's grip slackens, and Gunn pulls Fred away as Wesley shoots again. Angelus looks at Wesley, blinks, and falls backward with an amusing thump. As Wesley comes downstairs, Fred snifflingly apologizes for being dumb. Wesley eyes the unconscious Angelus as he reminds them to be careful, then goes back upstairs. Fred tells Gunn, "I'm just glad you're here," and they hug. Wesley stares down at them and twitches at Fred's lack of gratitude.
Cordy brings Connor a shirt, I guess because the one he was wearing was all bloody and all of his clothes are at the loft? He thanks her and slips into the black button-down shirt, then realizes, "This is [Angel's]." Cordy says she could get something from Cary if Connor would rather have that. Heh. Connor starts getting ready to go out again, and Cordy protests that he's too tired to fight. He says that he wants to leave, because everyone still stares at him like he's connected to Satan. Cordy explains that "the looking earlier" was because Angelus told everyone that she and Connor boinked. Connor says, "Good. Angel doesn't care if everyone knows. Why should I?" She insists that Angelus isn't Angel, and asks Connor to rest. As she leaves, he snaps, "You don't want to be with me, fine, you're not. But don't tell me what to do." Cue the lyrics to "Boss of Me."
Wesley is in the office as Fred enters. He explains that he was trying to look up the details Angelus mentioned about Angel's fantasy, in case they meant something. Fred thanks Wesley for saving her, and looks around at the door as she talks. Wesley curiously looks out the door himself, then says, "He's not there." Fred uncomfortably mentions that Gunn heard Angelus say that Wesley loves Fred, and he's a little tense about it. Fred quickly adds that Wesley's feelings are "very sweet; there's nothing wrong with it." Wesley suddenly pulls her into a kiss. He is such a slimeball. I feel so vindicated. Fred kisses him back at first, so no points for her, either, but then she pulls away, frightened. From the lobby, Gunn asks who's watching the monitor. As Gunn walks in, Fred looks terrified and Wesley quickly crosses the room. Gunn stops and asks, "What's going on?" "Nothing!" Fred insists, because that always works. Gunn asks, "Did he just --?" Fred tries to lead Gunn back out to the lobby, but Gunn growls, "You want to tell me what the hell I just walked in on." Fred says, "We were just..." and trails off. Gunn sniffs, "What, researching?" Amy Acker is pretty good at playing Fred playing innocent very badly. If you see what I mean. Wesley says, "If you want to do this, deal with me. Leave Fred out of it." Gunn starts yelling at Wesley to stay away from Fred, while Fred whimpers, "Hello! I'm here!" Gunn turns on her: "And you, running off to him every time you need help, like I'm not good enough." Fred tries to calm things down, Gunn threatens Wesley some more, Wesley glares silently.
In the basement, Angelus listens to the distant argument and snickers, "That was fast." True story: Over the weekend I watched this episode with my mom, and told her that lots of people love Wesley. She turned to me, shocked, and asked, "Why?"
Upstairs, Connor sneaks down to the lobby as Wesley shouts "I owe you nothing! Not anymore!" Fred pushes Gunn out of the office as he yells, "You just take what you want, don't matter who it belongs to." Uh oh. Wesley follows them, and points out that Fred doesn't belong to anyone. Fred whines, "What's wrong with you?" and Gunn insists that nobody wants Wesley around. No one notices as Connor sneaks past them to the basement. Wesley sniffs that the MoG haven't done so well since Wesley left. Cary and Cordy enters, and when Cary tries to calm things down, Gunn tells him to shut up. Cary is taken aback. Aw, poor Cary; he's the only innocent party in the room. Gunn continues, "Great idea, Wes. Stealing Angel's kid. Oh, was losing him a part of your plan, too?" Wesley snaps that the only thing Gunn's good at is blaming other people. But he's pretty accurate about it, doesn't that count for something? Wesley hisses, "Face it, Gunn: you can't give her what she needs." Gunn punches Wesley. Hooray! As Gunn starts to advance again, Wesley punches him in the stomach. Boo! Gunn throws Wesley against the front desk while Fred wails, "This is insane!" Cordy chimes in that this is what Angelus wants, and Cary sighs, "For the love of Mike Tyson." As Gunn and Wesley struggle, Gunn throws his arm back for another punch, catching Fred with his elbow. Hooray! After punching Wesley, Gunn turns and sees that he knocked Fred down. Cary and Cordy kneel down to Fred, and then Cordy spots the monitor, where Connor is approaching Angelus's cage.
Connor tells Angelus, "Everyone's afraid of you." Angelus asks, "Is that my shirt?" No, because if it was, it would be hanging on Connor like a tent, but let's pretend. Angelus says that the shirt looks good on Connor, and Connor replies, "So did Cordy." Angelus admits, "She looks good on everybody." Connor says, "Angel warned me about you. Said I should remember you're not my real father." Angelus approaches and admits that it was a touching speech, and that it ended with Connor promising to kill Angel. He continues, "Kind of unnecessary, don't you think? I mean, with your track record, I'll be staking myself by the end of the day." Hee. Angelus says that it made Darla sick to carry Connor: "She jammed a stake in her own heart just so she wouldn't have to hear your first whiny breath." He adds that Holtz was so disappointed in Connor that he stabbed himself in the neck. With a little help from Justine, but I think the point remains. Connor says, "My fa... Holtz was a good man," adding that Holtz just wanted to see Angelus get the punishment he deserved. Angelus brings up Cordy, and asks if it bothers Connor that Cordy used to change his diapers. "The first woman you boned is the closest thing you've ever had to a mother. Doing your mom and trying to kill your dad. Hm. There should be a play." Connor says that Angel said told him that Angelus wasn't his father, but he disagrees. Connor says, "The truth is, Angel's just something that you're forced to wear. You're my real father." Hey, it's like Star Wars, but interesting. Neat. I give Boreanaz a lot of credit for his reaction shot, where he goes from zero to menacingly surprised and, I think, pleased. Then he tosses out another patented Evil Look and gets back to the taunting. Connor resists, and Angelus sighs, "You couldn't take me anyway." "We'll see," Connor grrs. Angelus turns as Connor steps across the red line and right up to the cage bars. "Don't disappoint Daddy," Angelus says. But the family reunion is interrupted when Cordy calls Connor back. Darn. She orders Connor upstairs, then adds, "Please," because her little boy is all grown up. Connor finally grunts, "It's your lucky day," and stomps off. Angelus is unimpressed, and so are we when he calls Connor a "mama's boy." Although I guess it works a little better if you consider that Angel was just talking about how Connor slept with his pseudo-mother. But mostly it's still lame.
Once Connor is gone, Cordy reaches up and turns the camera off. Everyone upstairs immediately starts shouting and rushes downstairs. Well, no, they don't. I guess I have to assume they're still distracted by all the fisticuffs. Cordy says, "It's been a long day, and I think you've done enough damage." Angelus asks, "No hug?" Cordy says they're going to make a deal for information about Satan. Angelus wonders what he'd get in return: "I hear the new Mustang's nice." Cordy says she'll give him something better. Angelus obligingly asks, "What's a better ride than a Mustang?" Cordy turns and sighs, "Me."
When we return from the commercials, Angelus is at the end of a massive laughing fit -- doubled over, holding his sides, his eyes watering, the whole thing. He finally calms down enough to look at an irritated Cordy, and gasps, "You've got the best sense of humor, I -- wait, you were serious?" And that sets him off again. Oh, fine, that's not what happened. Instead, when we come back, Cordy says, "You tell us what you know, you get me." Maybe she should offer him some colorful socks instead. I'd enjoy that. Angelus points out, "You took out the soul. [I] still have the brain." Cordy says they don't have time, and that she'll do whatever she has to for the information. Angelus thinks she's bluffing. Cordy insists, "Look in my eyes. Angel knows me. You know me. Better than anyone. So when you look at me, you know I'm not lying." Angelus smiles. I have to believe that Angelus just wanted an excuse to talk, anyway. Because, again, he's chatty. And otherwise, it's hard to decide who's stupider for agreeing to this deal.
Upstairs, the MoG are startled to hear that Angelus is willing to tell all now. Connor, sitting at the desk, asks, "Why don't you want to tell us what you did?" Cordy says she did what she had to. Gunn presses it, and Wesley adds that it would be better if he knew what the deal was. Cordy stoically insists, "It's better if you don't." Why does Wesley have to do the interrogation at all?
On the monitor, Wesley sits with a crossbow and asks Angelus to start at the beginning: "A year?" Angelus smirks, "1789." He really needs to tone it down. It's just a year; there's no call for smirking over that. Wesley notes that Angelus was in Prussia then. For the whole year?
Downstairs, Angelus continues, "I was taking a shortcut on my way to Vienna..." Through Prussia? From where, Denmark? I guess it wasn't a very good shortcut if it took him all year to get through Prussia. Sorry. Nitpicking. Angelus says that he felt like he was being watched, adding that there were troops around.
Flashback. Soldiers' bodies are lying on the ground. Angelus narrates: "The little massacre I ran into was seriously lacking in military precision. Bodies, bodies, everywhere, and not a drop to drink." We see Angelus and his wig strolling among the corpses. He's on foot. Okay, now it makes sense that the "shortcut" took him so long. Get a horse, you idiot! Angelus says he followed the trail and found "the one you so cleverly call 'The Beast.'" Satan punches a soldier. Angelus snaps another soldier's neck under his boot. He and Satan look at each other. Angelus explains, "He'd staged the carnage to impress me." That's kind of sweet. You should see some of the birthday wishes I get. Wesley asks why Satan was trying to get Angelus' attention. Angelus explains, "Girl trouble. He thought I might be able to help him with a situation."
Upstairs, Cary, Cordy, and Fred watch on the monitor. It's not clear if Gunn is off sulking somewhere, or if he's just not in the frame. They listen as Angelus explains that Satan was having trouble with some Svea Priestesses who were "big into banishing." and were about to banish Satan. Good on them.
Downstairs, Angelus adds that Satan couldn't attack the priestesses directly due to "some kind of mojo." Don't get too technical. Angelus summarizes the deal: "I'd scratch his priestesses, and he'd scratch my back somewhere down the line."
Flashback. Satan repeats the lines Cordy saw earlier: "You need not be my enemy. Join with me, Angelus." Wesley asks what happened . Cut to Satan clobbering Angelus. The shot freezes as blood flies out of Angelus's mouth. Heh. Although a little too slapstick for the rest of the episode. I definitely appreciate the fact that they're letting Angelus narrate so that Boreanaz won't have to do the accent. Angelus says, "I declined."
Back in the cage, Angelus explains, "I'm not big with teamwork." He says he thought Satan would kill him, but luckily...
Flashback. Satan bends down -- over Angelus, I think, although it's hard to tell. In the background, a group of blondes in robes appear. Angelus tells Wes, "They just started up the whammy, and there you have it." Wesley asks how they banished Satan, but Angelus says he was unconscious for most of it. That's all he knows.
The MoG get researching. Fred quickly identifies the Svea Priestesses, who are also called "The Svear" and are "descendents of a powerful Noric priestess, Svea." Well, that would follow. Gunn peers over to look at the book as Connor asks if it mentions Satan. Wesley reaches over and Fred obediently hands the book to him as she points out what might be the banishing spell. She looks up at Gunn guiltily. Gunn moves across the room and picks up a phone book. Wesley says that the spell is from the right region and time. He tries translating the target of the spell and comes up with "something like a big...hard thing." Cordy says, "Sounds like our guy!" and it's not clear whether she's joking or not, which is a shame. Wesley looks as if he isn't sure either, though, which is amusing. Cary asks how they can track down the Svear now. Gunn throws the yellow pages onto the desk and declares, "They're in Pacoima."
Blipvert to Pacoima. Wesley, Cordy, and Connor approach a house with a small sign that reads, "Svear, Mon - Fri, 11 AM - 4 PM." I was going to complain that they were arriving after hours, but I keep forgetting about the sun being gone, so it might be daytime now. Wesley rings the bell, waits, knocks, and finally tries the door, which opens.
The MoG call around in the dark house to see if anyone's home. Connor spots some family photos and asks if the mother is the priestess. Cordy says, "I think all the women in the family are." If that's not a Charmed shout-out, it sure reads as one. Cordy looks at a table covered with mail and papers. She sniffs and frowns, "What is that?" They all peer into the kitchen, where the bodies of the family are rotting quietly. Oops.
After the ads, Wesley gives his insightful opinion: "We're too late." How do they manage without him? But then he adds, "Again," which amuses me. Cordy wonders how Satan always knows what they're going to do: "It's like he's psychic." Wesley examines the bodies while Connor wonders if Satan is watching them at the Hyperion. Cordy suggests that Angelus could have tipped Satan off. Wesley says that the family has been dead for days, so it couldn't have been Angelus. Connor is horrified at the idea that the bodies have been there all that time. I guess Connor doesn't have super-sniffing powers, considering it took a few minutes for anyone to notice the smell. Wesley guesses that nobody noticed anything with all the other wackiness in the city lately. Cordy grouses that they should have guessed this would happen, and Wesley agrees. How could they have predicted it, exactly, when they only found out the priestesses existed about an hour ago? Wesley says they should look around and then call the cops. Connor stares into space, unmoving. After about two seconds of searching, Wesley picks up a piece of paper and says, "A banishment incantation. At least, I think it is." Oh, great. It's probably a casserole recipe. Cordy guesses that the Svear were trying to banish Satan. "It seems so," Wesley agrees. Wesley still hasn't learned any lessons about jumping to conclusions, has he? Connor turns to look at a calendar on the fridge, helpfully allowing us to establish that it's January on the show. Or possibly October, but January seems like a safer bet. The 23rd has a heart drawn on it, with the note "Daddy's birthday." Connor looks at the bodies again and makes for the door.
Connor runs outside and then has to go all the way out to the sidewalk because there's nothing nearby to puke behind. He finally doubles over behind a landscaping element. Cordelia follows, and sits down to him. She says, "It's different, isn't it?" She says that dead demons are blobs, vampires turn to dust, but humans aren't so tidy. Connor whimpers, "That's not..." and a tear trickles down his cheek. She asks what's bothering him, and Connor looks pained as he sighs, "Family." He's working himself into a nice brood when a vampire suddenly leaps into view. It's a pretty impressive leap, too, although I'm not sure what the point of landing ten feet past Connor and Cordy was. Landing on them would make more sense. Connor deals with his angst by punching the vamp a few times, but then another one attacks Cordy, knocking her down. Connor pulls a stake out of his boot and dusts one vamp, then throws the other into some trashcans in the street. The vamp starts to stand up, and then there's a squeal as he's suddenly run down by Wesley's SUV. Which means that sometime in the past thirty seconds, Wesley raced out and got in the car, which was parked right in front of the house. So he passed them while they were fighting. And got into the car before the vamp had been thrown into the street. He was totally running away. More vamps are visible in the background as Cordy quickly hops into the car. Connor follows, and the vamp under the car grabs his boot. He gives a kick and slams the door. The car races away.
Blipvert back to the Hyperion. Fred and Cary sit on the couch, while Gunn stands a little distance away, as they listen to Angelus singing "The Teddy-Bear's Picnic." Fred says that Angelus is "relaxed," and Gunn adds, "It's like he's not even in a cage." Cary explains, "In his mind, he's not." He turns the volume on the monitor down as Gunn asks if Cary can read Angelus. Cary answers, "Let me put it this way, moonpie: you don't wanna know." Fred agrees. First "kiwi," and now "moonpie." I think they're retroactively making it more plausible that Fred and Gunn thought that "Fluffy" was just another nickname for one of the MoG.
Wesley, Cordy, and Connor return with their bad news. Fred observes that Satan must have found some way to kill the priestesses, and wonders if they should talk to Angelus again. Wesley vetoes that idea, saying that Angelus isn't going to tell them anything more. Gunn says, "Which means our last-ditch plan, turning Angel into a soulless monster -- it's a bust." Gunn got the title! Good for him. Cordy says that it's time to bring Angel back. Connor looks down and walks upstairs. Cary observes, "And he's usually so chatty." Wesley says they'll need the shaman. Yeah, where is the shaman? Is he just hiding out upstairs? Smart move, if so. Maybe he's working on a spell that will make Wesley shut up. And then I'll achieve perfect happiness.
Cordy enters the basement, and Angelus asks how the trip went. Cordy says, "We found a little boy, his sister, mom, dad, grandma -- all dead." Angelus asks if she brought him a souvenir: "Maybe a stray baby toe?" He says it's not his fault that the plan didn't work out, and that he told them everything he knew. "Too late," Cordy complains. Angelus notes that isn't his fault. Cordy glares, "The deal was, you give us information, we save the world, you get me. Well, world not saved."
Upstairs, Wesley starts opening the safe as everyone watches tensely. Everyone in the room, that is. Everyone in the audience is shouting, "It's gone, yes, we know that it's gone, don't waste our time!"
Angelus asks if Cordy thinks she can get away with this, but she's not concerned. "I won't be in here forever," Angelus threatens. Cordy looks at her watch and says that he'll be resouled within the hour. He laughs, "Not gonna happen." Snarkage is exchanged, and Cordy says "You're never coming back; Angel's gonna make sure of that." "We'll see," Angelus hisses. Cordy takes a step forward and tells Angelus that he's nobody: "Just a disease, and Angel can't wait to be rid of you." Angelus steps up to the bars and says, "Think I'll start with the twins. I just love a woman with nice, ripe thighs." Is he calling her thighs "the twins," or was he just changing subjects rather quickly? He quickly shoots an arm out at her through the bars, he can't quite reach her. Cordy doesn't flinch, which is cool, but also difficult to believe. She smiles, "Not even close." Angelus wiggles his fingers at her and asks, "Does this bug you? I'm not touching you!" Or not. As Cordy heads upstairs, Angelus says, "The more you piss me off, the longer I'll keep you alive."
Cordy enters the office, ready to start resouling Angel. The MoG turn to stare at her, wondering how she missed all the foreshadowing. We pan over to Wesley standing by the empty safe as Fred states the obvious. Cordy blinks, and wonders if it's too late to go apologize for all the taunting.
time, Fred gets a curling iron, Gunn gets a flame-thrower, the announcer gets all excited about someone dying, and Angelus gets a leather coat, which is a step in the right direction.