Make Someone Happy

S04E10

By Strega

Previously on Angel, Cordy squeaked, Satan stomped, Connor screwed, Angel sulked, and Wesley suggested something seriously stupid.

Fade up on montage of Angelenos staring upward while we hear a news report about the fact that the sun has "been blotted out from the sky" over Los Angeles. Sure, that sucks, but at least the earth hasn't been used up yet. Cut to the Hyperion, where Gunn turns the television off and -- hey! They've got a television! I wonder if Angel bought it back when he was trying to make a nice home for Connor. Gunn says, "There's going to be a huge rise in undead tourism." Fred is researching ways to restore the sun, but whines that she needs help. "I need Wesley," she sighs. Gunn glares at her, and she quickly adds, "His expertise." Gunn still has a little cut on his head from their battle with Satan. Gunn quickly expositions that Wesley and Gwen went their separate ways after the sun went out. Connor grumbles, "The answer is among us," and gestures toward the office. Connor also has some partly healed cuts on his face from last week's episode. Which is nice. I'm sorry, I really liked this episode -- it's exactly my kind of humor -- and I just want to praise everyone involved, down to the makeup artists, so indulge me. Through the window, we can see Cary is sitting in the office, looking at Angel, who is bopping his head, tapping his foot, and...well, we'll find out that he's singing, although that's not immediately apparent. Connor is smug about the discovery that his dad may be evil after all, but Cordy insists that Angel doesn't remember his encounter with Satan. "So he says," Connor sniffs. Cordy argues, "It wasn't Angel in my vision; it was Angelus." Also, it wasn't a vision, it was a memory, right? Connor says that Angel and Angelus are the same person, and he's not wrong. Cordy looms over Connor and replies, "Believe me, you've never met Angelus." She's not exactly wrong, either. Gunn says that maybe Wesley's suggestion about bringing back Angelus isn't such a bad idea. He says, "If there's even a chance Angelus could have inside info we could use --" Cordy interrupts, "And you think he's willingly going to turn it over?" She goes on to say it's not an option anyway, and goes over the perfect-happiness clause in the gypsy curse.

In the office, Cary says he couldn't get anything from reading Angel, adding, "Your choice of 'The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia' might have thrown me a wee." This is where you find out that Angel was singing, and you rewind the tape and look at it again and now that you know what's happening, you can enjoy the joke. So it's sort of a microcosm of the episode. Angel says that he can remember everything he did as Angelus, but nothing about an encounter with Satan. Cary says that "if it's in there, it's buried deep. Deep inside Angelus." But Angelus is inside Angel, so...huh? I think this is the only suggestion that they're totally separate personalities that actually bugged me. Angel says there's no way he could turn evil again, even if he wanted to.

Cut to a candlelit room, where a red-suited ninja is chanting over the usual mystic circle. There are crashing noises of a fight outside. Oh, shut up, Wesley. A body is thrown through the beaded curtains -- I'd expect ninja to go for quieter décor, personally -- and lands inside the circle. The ninja is vexed. Wesley enters and says, "Rumor has it [that] you possess certain skills I require. I need a soul extracted."

Credits. This week's David Boreanaz quote is: "I want to do a piece about humans who have tails, 'cause I like tails. I'm fascinated and I think humans should have tails."

Angel and Cary step out of the office, and Cordy asks how the reading went. Angel says they didn't learn anything. Fred hasn't either. It looks like they retrieved the rest of the device Satan used, but Fred says they need the orb that Satan swallowed if they're going to restore the sun. Angel tries to cheer everyone up, and you know that things are bad when he's the optimistic one in the room. He adds that they have other concerns, since with the sun gone, "it's the devil's playground out there." Connor grumbles, "Just the way you like it, huh?" Everyone turns to look at him, and Connor makes an "Oops, did I say that out loud?" face. Angel asks if Connor has a problem. "You," Connor replies. He complains, somewhat justifiably, "Everyone thought it was me. Maybe even I was starting to. But it was you all along -- you're the one who's working with the Beast." Angel denies it, but Connor insists, "Everything's going to hell because of you! You're the reason that the sun is gone, and I don't have a home to go back to." Did Connor's loft get totaled? Some windows got broken, but surely Xander isn't the only person in the world capable of fixing windows. Because if he were, he'd finally have some reason to feel special, right? Connor finishes, "You're the reason [that] my life sucks." I guess he's being whiny, but I like the fact that he's also kind of right. Angel stares at Connor for a minute and finally remembers some good advice Cordy gave him: "Get over it." Heh. Given that he didn't find that suggestion helpful last week, I have to believe he's just fed up and trying to antagonize Connor now. Cary asks if they can get back to the "pep-talky thing." Fred says that they need a plan. Wesley decides that's close enough to a cue for him, and enters, announcing, "Here's one." The red ninja enters, and Wesley introduces him as "Wo Pang. He can deliver Angelus to us." Wesley asks Fred to make tea for Wo Pang, and she obediently leads their guest away. Wesley spins around as she passes, and it looks for all the world like he's checking out her ass until Angel grabs Wesley's arm and pulls him aside for a conference. Fred asks if Wo Pang would like any particular kind of tea, and he answers, "Orange Zinger." Heh.

In the office, it turns out Angel's got bigger concerns than Wesley creating a hostile workplace environment. He asks who Wo Pang is. Wesley says a "shaman, order of the Kun-Sun-Dai." Angel incredulously says, "You brought a dark mystic here without talking to --?" Wesley says that Wo Pang can extract Angel's soul and then restore it after they've interrogated Angelus. Angel refuses to go along with the very bad idea. Wesley looks put out and says that they don't have any choice. Angel snaps, "Actually, I do. That was it. You wanna hear it again? Not with the bringing." Hee. Wesley insists that they have to do this, because people are in danger. Angel reasonably points out, "Then unleashing Angelus is the last thing we should do. [If] he's here, I'm not. I won't be able to protect anyone from the Beast, or from me." Wesley says they'll be, like, really, really careful -- much more careful than when they borrow the Angelmobile, even. Angel interrupts, "You have no idea what Angelus is, Wesley. All you know is what you've read in books." He says that Wesley's never met Angelus, which is debatable I guess, but that episode made no damn sense, so I don't care. Angel snaps, "Get rid of the shaman," and leaves the office, stomping past the MoG and straight out into the courtyard. Cordy follows him.

In the courtyard, Angel broods, because all that emoting took a lot out of him. Cordy steps outside and moans, "They're all going to die." She goes on to clarify that she meant the plants will die without sunlight. She's wearing a pregnancy-not-really-concealing white sleeveless coat which I dislike, but she looks nice otherwise. Angel moves away because she's distracting him from his sulking, but Cordy follows, saying that she agrees with his decision: "Angelus is the jumbo family-sized bad of bad ideas." Then she expositions a little about Angelus's rampage through Sunnydale and how she saw his whole history on the higher plane. Angel sighs and asks if she thinks he's being used by Satan without knowing it. Cordy says no, but when Angel asks if she's just saying that, she admits that she is. "I don't know, Angel; it's possible," she says, and then twitches her mouth in a really cute way. Angel says that, if Satan is using him, then he's already endangering everyone. Cordy says, "Not like Angelus would be. I mean, he's smart." "Excuse me?" Angel asks. Heh. Angel asks if Cordy thinks Angelus is smarter than Angel is. Cordy quickly corrects herself, saying that Angelus is smart "in that twisted, sadistic, ruthless kind of way." Angel notes that Angelus is like Satan that way, and Cordy agrees. "They think alike -- always a step or two ahead of us. What is it about evil that jacks up the I.Q. points?" How has Satan demonstrated that he's smart? He's strong, but I don't know that he's outwitted them especially. Angel glares at Cordy in a coldly menacing way that I enjoy a lot, and abruptly goes back inside.

Angel enters the lobby and declares, "We're gonna need a cage." He starts detailing specs and heads for the office, adding, "I'll make some calls." Gunn asks if Angel really thinks they can cage Satan. Wesley clarifies, "It's for [Angel]."

Cut to the MoG putting the finishing touches on a cage in the basement. Cary attaches straps to a metal table inside it while Connor tightens bolts. Gunn observes, "The cage is solid, man." I automatically add, "Jackson," because I'm easily influenced. Angel sends Wesley off to fetch Wo Pang. Cary asks if he can wait things out upstairs, explaining that "dark magic unleashing unspeakable evil gives [him] the heebies." He's wearing a gorgeous deep blue shirt that I think is silk. I don't know why I'm suddenly noticing everyone's clothes again. Oh, and Angel finally changed clothes, which is good, because Angelus wouldn't be quite as menacing in a zippered hoodie. Angel tells Cary that Fred and Cordy can wait upstairs, too. Cary exits, and Connor starts to follow, but Angel calls him back. Angel says, "I know [that] you like to think that I'm the enemy, but if this works, I will be. I'm going to become the thing you were raised to believe I was, the thing I never, never wanted you to see." Connor insists that he can handle it. Angel tells Connor to remember that Angelus isn't his father; Angel is. He adds, "No matter what happens, or happened...I love you." Aw. Connor looks awkward, because he's a teenager, and silently heads upstairs. Angel calls after him, "If anything should go wrong with Angelus, you're gonna have to kill me." "Okay," Connor says blithely. "If anything goes wrong!" Angel insists. Heh.

Gunn and Wesley fasten leather straps around Angel's wrists, binding him to the table in the cage. Oh my. I bet Wesley fetched those from his apartment. I think Angel's legs are strapped down as well. The shaman places a glass bottle on a table outside the cage and tells Cordy the bottle will hold Angel's soul. Personally, I'd put that sucker in a box full of Styrofoam peanuts, because you never know when Wesley's going to revert to his pratfalling persona. Angel sees Cordelia and says, "I don't want you here!" "Tough," she replies. Gunn and Wesley exit the cage, and Wo Pang steps inside, pulling the door closed behind him. He suggests that they put another lock on the door. "Do as he says," Wesley orders, and Gunn does it because now is not the time for "Do it your own damn self!" bickering, I guess. Cordy approaches the cage and tells Angel that he doesn't have to do this. Angel sighs, "Now she tells me." Wo Pang instructs, "Close your eyes and don't speak," placing a hand on Angel's giant brow. Angel remembers how bad things happen whenever people tell him to close his eyes, and tries to comfort himself with the thought that at least Wo Pang isn't a pretty blonde girl. Or is he? The MoG watch as Wo Pang starts chanting. After a moment, he opens his eyes, which are scarlet, matching his ninja outfit. That's taking color coordination to the extreme. He leans down and whispers, "Time to say goodbye," in Angel's ear. Then he stands, whips a dagger out of his belt, and makes some exciting swishy noises with it. Angel opens his eyes as the blade plunges toward him, and we go to commercial.

Which seems like a good time for a word of explanation. I'm not going to do the recap as if I don't know how it ends. Mostly because I knew about the ending before I saw it, so I can't tell you what I would have thought if I'd been surprised. Plus you have to know the ending for the episode to be as funny as it should be. So if you didn't see the episode and are reading this to catch up, here's the deal: in order to remove Angel's soul, the shaman is creating an illusion that will make Angel happy. The illusion began sometime in the last scene, I'm guessing during the chanting. The rest of this episode is only happening inside Angel's head, but you aren't supposed to know that on the first viewing. Got it? It's all a trip through Angel's head to discover his deepest desires, which means this may be the scariest hour of television in history.

Wo Pang aims at Angel's throat. Angel breaks one arm free of his restraints and grabs Wo Pang's arm. While they struggle, Wesley and Gunn frantically work to open the locks on the cage. As Gunn opens the door, Wo Pang quickly turns and attacks him. Angel starts unfastening the other restraints as Gunn is knocked back against the table. The glass bottle falls and shatters. What'd I say about Styrofoam? Wo Pang feints at Wesley, who jumps back, and then turns to face Connor. He makes more fun swish-swish noises, and Connor leans and hops to avoid the blade. I really like that. It makes Connor's small build into an advantage, because he can avoid the blade with his very-quick speed. Plus it looks cool. Eventually, Wo Pang gets too close, and Connor punches him. Wo Pang falls back and turns to see Angel, who is now free. Gunn says "This was all a set-up," and wonders why. The MoG surround Wo Pang as Angel asks, "Why does the Beast suddenly want me dead? Did Angelus welsh on our pact?" I was amused by the fact that the captioning had used "welsh" because I've always seen it as "welch" (not that I see it a lot, but you know what I mean) and so I assumed it was a typo, which led me to imagine David Boreanaz doing Angel with a Welsh accent, which would be even more terrifying than the Irish lilt. But it turns out "welsh" and "welch" are both acceptable spellings, so never mind. Angel asks if Wo Pang knows what Satan's planning. Wo Pang draws out a little dagger, and Angel says, "Maybe I should just start taking you apart now. Piece --" Wo Pang suddenly stabs himself in the chest dramatically, and collapses. "-- by piece," Angel concludes with some disappointment. Wesley tells Gunn to search the body. Once again, Gunn obeys Wesley's instructions. But this time, it's only because Angel is hallucinating. Gunn starts by pulling off Wo Pang's ninja hat, and we see that Wo Pang's head is covered with what I'm just going to guess is Chinese writing. As is his chin. And, on further investigation, his chest.

Some time later, the body is mostly stripped and lying on the table in the cage. Wesley is leaning over it with a magnifying glass, reading the writing that covers Wo Pang's skin. Cary asks, "Is there any part of this guy that doesn't have writing all over it? Scratch that -- I don't want to know." Wesley announces that the writing is the history of the Kun-Sun-Dai, and reveals them to be acolytes of Satan. He goes on to read something near Wo Pang's ass, which describes how the Kun-Sun-Dai were victorious over the Bosh M'ad in the third century. He explains that they were "the opposers of the awakening" and created a weapon called "The Tooth of Light" to destroy Satan. See, that's clever, because now the title, "Awakening," doesn't give everything away. Which means that the Mutant Enemy team was probably pissed off about the ads that showed Angel chuckling evilly in his cage, since that does seem to give things away, but from what I've seen, only a few people actually figured things out based on that. In fact, that seems to have led several people to believe that Angel was already evil throughout the episode, and that he was pretending to be souled but that he'd kill someone at any moment, so the ad may have worked as added misdirection. Anyhow, the Bosh M'ad were all killed by the Kun-Sun-Dai. Bummer. Wesley reads further and says that the Kun-Sun-Dai never found the weapon. Gunn says that now they have to find the weapon, and Angel sighs that they don't know where to look for it. Cordy looks up, and her eyes suddenly go white as she says, "It's a sword. The sword of Bosh M'ad. Pretty!" She blinks, and her eyes go back to normal. She looks around and announces that, conveniently enough, the sword is right under Los Angeles. Angel turns to Wesley and rather smugly says, "You hear that? There's a sword. A sword to kill the Beast. And you wanted to bring back Angelus by having an evil shaman cut off my head! Not that that wasn't a swell plan, too." Heh. Wesley looks down and says, "Sorry." He exits the cage, and Angel follows after him.

Angel asks Wesley if he actually just apologized. Wesley admits, "I was careless. Made a mistake that almost cost you your life." He pauses, then adds, "Would have made pulling you out of the ocean a big waste of my time." Angel admits, "That would have been a drag." Ha! Am I giving Angel too much credit to think that's a pun? Or maybe in his fantasy, he's a lot wittier? Now, assuming that Angel is unconsciously in control of what happens in this illusion -- which I'm not convinced of, but anyway -- you can take this two ways. Either Angel is willing to give Wesley credit for rescuing him, or he's being realistic in recognizing that Wesley's not capable of making a sincere apology without some kind of defensive "but you still owe me" remark to save face. On the other hand, you could also figure that the writers knew it would be too much of a give-away if Wesley was suddenly too contrite this early. Angel says that he's never heard Wesley apologize for anything before, which seemed impossible at first because Wesley's default mode used to be "groveling." But while he'll apologize for things that aren't entirely his fault, he's not good at taking responsibility for the consequences of serious mistakes, so I can see Angel's point. The two of them exchange rueful grins, and before they can kiss and make up, Connor enters and says, "You gonna go get the sword or what?"

Blipvert. You know what would have been extra cool? If the blipverts were of Angel still inside the cage. Angel, Cordelia, Connor, and Wesley traipse through the sewer, which is bluer than usual. Fred and Gunn are absent, either because they aren't important to Angel's happiness, or they aren't in the way of his happiness. I lean toward the latter. Angel is finding things a little too easy, and wonders why the sword just happens to be conveniently nearby. Cordy fills things in as quickly as the shaman can make up an excuse for her: "I get the impression that somehow it's accessible from, like, a hundred points all over the world." When Connor doesn't find that convincing, she adds, "I just get the visions, not the CliffsNotes." Wesley spots a tunnel leading off the sewers, and they stop to investigate. Cordy peers at it and observes it leads down. Angel says "There's a steep grade," and says they'll have to be careful, whereupon Connor shoves past him and hurries into the tunnel. The others follow.

Turns out that the steep grade Angel was worried about actually consists of a neatly carved staircase. Although I guess that's appropriately dreamlike. Cordy jumps as she bumps into Connor, who says he found something. They all approach a corridor festooned with straps on which small bells are hanging. Cordy says, "What are those? Holiday decorations leftover from some S&M bondage party?" This is one of those times when it's interesting to wonder if every tiny element is supposed to make Angel happier. Angel reaches out and flicks one of the bells. It rings, and then a number of large stakes pop out of the walls, blocking the corridor. They slowly retract back again. Angel sighs, "Wood. Why'd it have to be wood?" First, ten bucks says Fury wrote that line. Second, do you think they didn't use the more obvious "Stakes..." version because I already made that joke? Third, if so, does that make this an anti-shout-out? Wesley states the obvious: they have to avoid ringing any of the bells as they go through the corridor. Cordelia looks down at her chest and says, "I knew you two would get me in trouble someday." I think the funniest part about that is that nobody on-camera is looking at her as she says that, so presumably Angel and Wesley think that she's talking to them. Which I think is a strike against the "Angel's inventing the whole story himself" theory. Not that I really think that any of this is seriously meant to bear that kind of analysis.

Connor is in the lead, because he's small, as everyone sidles past the bells. Wesley suddenly calls, "Cordelia, freeze!" Red light! Green light! He says that one of the bells is caught on her sleeve. He gingerly unhooks it and slowly lets go of the bell without ringing it. I think the straps are the important part. The bells just let you know that you moved the straps, but the mechanism that releases the stakes has to be triggered by the movement of the straps, not the ringing of the bells. Of the bells, bells, bells, of the clamor and the clangor of the bells. But I might be overthinking things again. Cordy makes it through, and joins Connor beyond the bells. Wesley starts to follow her, but the lantern he's holding brushes one of the straps. Jingle, jingle! The caption has Wesley saying, "Oh fu--" Heh. It's incredibly unclear what happens, but I think Angel grabs Wesley and hurries out of the way as the stakes pop out. As they catch their breath, Cordy -- who's been standing there for the past minute -- grumbles, "Oh no." Angel realizes that they're in a dead end. Wesley isn't so sure, as she spots something written on the stones in the wall. "Assyrian?" Angel asks for no readily apparent reason. Wesley corrects him: "Hebrew." He says that there is one letter on each stone. I can't decide which is funnier: thinking that Angel secretly wants to live through Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, or thinking that Wo Pang can't bother coming up with original ideas for his illusions. Wesley ponders, and presses his hand on one of the stones. The wall raises up about a foot, then crashes down again. Wesley figures that they have to press the letters in their numerological order. He says, "Aleph is one, the letter with the highest numerical value would be...Heh -- five." I played heh in a "let's all learn about Chanukah" play in elementary school! Well, I played that side of a dreidel. My line was, "I'm heh. When you get me, you take half." Just make up your own jokes for that. Wesley presses his hand on the appropriate stone, and a stake pops out through his hand. Blood spurts. Wesley gasps in pain. Angel asks what happened, and Connor notes, "He was wrong." I laugh for a while. I don't know about Angel, but this is sure what it takes to make me happy. While Cordy rips off part of her shirt to bind Wesley's hand, Wesley keeps staring at the wall. He suddenly says, "These are the first letters of the nine Antediluvian Patriarchs in Genesis." Oh, of course. He points to the stone in the series, and Angel presses. Once again, the wall slides up, then crashes down. On the try, as the wall moves up, Angel and Connor grab it and hold it up. Johanna and I both thought that maybe they should just complete the sequence, and the wall would stay up. But Angel's not patient enough for that. Anyway, Wesley and Cordy duck under the wall. Angel tells Connor to go as well, but Connor insists that they should go together. Angel says, "Now!" and they do a cute little father-and-son somersault as the wall closes behind them.

In the chamber, Angel wonders if they should be marking their progress on graph paper while Wesley consults the wandering monster table. Oh wait, that's all me. Actually, Angel wonders which way they should go, since there are two options. The gang decides to split up, and Angel tells Connor to go with Wesley. Connor snaps, "I'll go with Cordy." Cordy disagrees, and tells him that they don't have time to argue about. They separate.

Around the corner, Cordelia apologizes for Connor's behavior. She says that he's confused, and sighs, "I've really made a mess of a messy situation, haven't I?" She adds that she'd like to take back some of her decisions, adding, "I don't know if you ever could..." "'Could'?" Angel repeats. Cordy looks at something off-camera and whispers, "Whoa." She moves on, and Angel follows, asking, "What could I ever...?"

They walk into a brightly lit, slightly cheesy-looking set. It actually has a strong resemblance to the "conduit" room from "Birthday." Except the conduit itself is now a big flat solid rock instead of a big flat hollow rock. Cordy says that this has to be the right place, but the sword is nowhere to be seen. Angel says, "The light must be coming from somewhere," and approaches the non-conduit. He stretches his hand out over it, and his hand disappears into a big glowing ball of FX. Angel feels around inside the orb and calmly explains, "It's some kind of dimensional hub." This is where, if I hadn't known the ending already, I'd have started throwing things in protest of how stupid the show was. But since I did know the ending, I thought it was hysterical. "Oh, it's obviously a dimensional hub. Duh." Angel explains that this is how the sword could be in hundreds of places at once. With that, he triumphantly pulls a sword out of the ball of light. The sword is nice, I guess, but it's not so impressive that I think Cordy would say it's pretty. Not that it matters. The orb continues glowing brightly as Angel says, "I'd say things are starting to look --" Then the ball of light starts glowing red and shimmering. Angel and Cordy back away as the ball swells, then plunges down into the non-conduit. Everything starts shaking, and a pillar crashes down near Cordelia. Flames shoot up, even though everything is made of rock. Angel's subconscious is so melodramatic. Cordy shouts, "Angel!" and then screams as the flames increase.

After the ads, Angel makes a dramatic leap across the dramatic flames and dramatically rescues Cordy. Turns out that all Cordy had to do was turn around and she could reach a perfectly safe tunnel, which might symbolize Angel's secret belief that if he wasn't around, people would take care of themselves just fine. Probably not, though. They tumble out of the fiery cave and collapse. Angel looks down at Cordy and moans. Not like that. It turns out that Angel landed on the sword. "I missed the pointy end," he cheerfully notes. Cordelia looks at him, and bursts into tears. Because you know what makes Angel especially happy? Comforting sad girls. Why else would he date Buffy? Cordy sobs into Angel's chest while he looks bewildered. Cordy sniffles, "We could have died!" "But we didn't," Angel notes, prosaically. "What if we had?" Cordy whines. There's really nothing you can say to that, and Angel doesn't try. Instead, Cordy continues wondering what would have happened if she never had the chance to tell him...something. Angel asks for clarification. Cordy looks at him and sobs, "I'm sorry for what happened. For what I let happen with Connor." Hee. Angel thinks she "let" it happen. She insists that she thought the world was ending, and she really wanted to be with Angel. But since he wasn't handy, she slept with his kid. I think we've all been there. Angel says it'll be okay. Cordy says, "I can look back and see every horrible thing you've ever done as Angelus and it doesn't matter anymore!" She says that she doesn't deserve forgiveness, and Angel says, "I don't care what you've done in your past, either." Y'know, another interpretation for all this is that Angel would be happy if he could be more forgiving. Because frankly, I'm not sure Angel would let things go this quickly even if Cordy were that contrite. Just an idle thought. They lean in, and Cordy whispers, "I don't know if this is right, Angel." Angel calmly says, "Stop talking," and Cordy says, "Okay," and I laugh and laugh. It's the "Okay" that kills me. They smooch for a minute, then break apart and look up to see Connor and Wesley staring down at them. Connor runs away, and Cordy calls after him. So yet another theory is that Angel would be happy if Connor could see that Cordy likes him better. Angel hurries after Connor so he can say "Nyah nyah nyah!" and hands the sword to Wesley on his way.

Angel chases Connor into a large chamber which is suddenly illuminated as Connor reaches its center. Angel tells Connor not to move. Connor growls, "Don't tell me what to do!" He takes another step, and a short spike is launched out of the wall. Connor dodges it so that it lands in Angel's arm. He snarls, "You don't know anything, Dad, except -- except how to take things away from me!" He starts to walk toward Angel, quoting Angel's speech about how the world is harsh and cruel. As he moves, another spike is launched, and Angel tackles Connor out of the way so that the spike lands in a wall. Connor repays Angel by shouting, "Because of you!" and tossing him into a wall. Just like Satan! Angel presses a stone on the floor as he stands up, causing a large stake to pop out of the wall nearby. Angel and Connor make with the fisticuffs, tripping switches and launching more spikes as they toss each other around. Angel finally shouts, "You think you're the only one who ever felt like that? Wished his father were dead?" Connor says that his father already is dead, and there's more fighting. Angel finally knocks Connor down and says, "It's not all about you, Connor. What you want isn't always what other people need!" Ha! I'm going to guess that was DeKnight. More fighting, and Connor knocks Angel about again. "She was mine," Connor insists. "No, she wasn't," Cordy replies from the entrance. Seriously. She's hers. Cordy continues, "I'm sorry Connor, but you need to understand that." Connor stares at her for a second, then runs away.

Angel, Cordy, and Wesley return to the Hyperion semi-triumphantly. Gunn admires the sword and asks, "Can I play with it?" Angel obligingly hands it over as Fred asks where Connor is. "Patrolling," Wesley answers. Fred looks very nice in this scene, incidentally. Maybe it's because her hair is pulled back softly, and it looks less severe than usual. Or maybe it's because for most of the scene, her mouth is closed. Gunn waves the sword around experimentally, then accidentally chops a table in half. Oh no, Angel misses Wesley's pratfall comedy, so he's making Gunn into the MoG clown. Bad Angel! Wesley says that now they need to find Satan. Cary says, "All I could Kolchak was a rumor of bad mojo rising down in the warehouse district." Fred adds that piercing Satan's brain with the magic sword will kill him, and then "the energy used to block the sun should be released." Gunn and Fred explain that the bad news is, all that energy may kill anyone nearby, even Angel. Angel stoically says, "I'll let you know." Cordy protests, but Angel decides it's time to make a speech. And then I protest, but it's too late. Angel says, "You made a difference, each of you. Not just to me, but to the world." Blee blah "there for each other" bloo bleh "believe in each other" blab bloob champion-cakes. This is when I decided was what Angel wants most of all is a regular Buffy-style finale where everyone's conflicts are suddenly resolved and the whole gang works together to defeat the villain, and, inevitably someone has to make a dumb speech. Sometimes a really dumb speech. I honestly can't decide if the things I liked most about the episode were intentional. It definitely works as a season-finale parody, but some of those elements are inevitable given the situation, so I just don't know. And as long as it makes me laugh, I don't much care.

After the ads, Satan says, "I grow weary of your cowardice, Angelus. If you will not stand with me, then suffer the agony of my wrath." Great stuff. So Angel's gone from Spielberg to Lucas for inspiration. Although I hope the episode ends before the step in that progression: Schumacher. That's too terrifying to contemplate. Satan notices the sword Angel is holding and asks, "Is that what I think it is?" Angel goes into battle mode, and shouts at everyone to get out. Instead, Cordy rushes to the weapons cabinet while Angel fends off Satan. Wesley drags Cordy toward the door along with the others. Satan asks supervillainy questions. Angel quips. More fighting. Satan insists, "It doesn't have to be this way," but Angel disagrees. Satan grabs the sword in his hand and squeezes, finally shattering it. Then he grabs Angel by the throat, which is when Angel makes those amusing choking noises that we saw in ads two weeks ago. They're tricky. Satan asks, "Did you really think you'd win? Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the dark side. You have paid the price for your lack of vision." Not really, but see how well it fits? Whereupon he's attacked by Connor, and drops Angel. "The boy joins the father in death," Satan says, and Connor responds, "No, in kicking your stony ass." I can understand how, at this point, some people might have believed this was...well, "really happening," for want of a better description. I cannot understand how any of those people could also think this was a good episode. Connor fights with Satan while Angel struggles to pick up the broken sword-point. Connor is knocked down, and then kicked against the front desk. Satan grumbles, "Such arrogance. So much like Angelus." Connor looks up and smirks, "His name is 'Angel'!" Satan spins around, and Angel thrusts the broken sword through Satan's skull. "Consider your ass kicked!" Angel quips, and then hurries a safe distance away as Satan growls and explodes into a blaze of fire.

The black cloud masking the sun fades away. Connor hurries over to help Angel up, and explains, "Like I'd let you take all the credit for saving the world?" Angel looks down at dusty remains of Satan as Connor goes into a reprise: "The world is harsh, and cruel. She was the only thing that made it hurt less." He admits that Cordy doesn't love him, and adds, "She was too old for me anyway." Connor asks if this is what it feels like to be a champion. "Pretty much," Angel smirks. The rest of the MoG hurry in, and Cordy hugs Angel, saying, "You did it!" Angel insists, "We did it. All of us." Everyone smiles around at everyone else. Wesley and Gunn exchange manful hand-clasps. I giggle. Angel gestures to the pile of Satanic powder and asks, "Could one of you do me a favor and sweep that up?"

Montage of Angelenos looking happily up at the sun. Maybe too happily. That one girl on the park bench seems way too shocked by the fact that there's a ball of fire in the sky. She's going to have some retinal damage.

Angel peers out at the city from a window. He's wearing a purple tuxedo-style shirt with pleats on one side. I hate it. Cordy appears behind him, and her hair is not just curled but actually crazed. She says it must be hard for Angel to restore the sun for everyone when he can't go out into it. Angel says, "There's no place I'd rather be than here with you." But not with that hair. I don't understand her hair. Is it a joke? Please explain. Anyway, they kiss. For a while. Angel starts to pull back, and Cordy insists, "Whatever the reason, or excuse, or logic, we're here now. Together. Everything is the way it's supposed to be for once. Angel, haven't we waited long enough?" I guess he thinks so. More kissing. And nekkid kissing. And nekkid horizontal kissing. Gah. I sometimes like Angel dressed. I never like him shirtless. Never. So there's, like, kissing and panting and faces and chestage and sighs and the strange sweatlessness and a piano plinking, and I'll endure it since the rest of the episode was so funny, but did it have to go on for so long? Angel says to himself, "The only thing that could make this moment more perfect would be having Buffy walk in on us, because she'd be so pissed, and then Cordy would beat her up," and then he imagines that, and then he gasps and says, "Buffy? No!" because oops, that idea made him too darn happy. And then he rolls over and makes faces and moans.

And the background morphs and Angel gasps a little more before closing his eyes and lying back on the table inside the cage. Then he opens his eyes and stares upward calmly, and at this angle, for some reason I can't explain, he reminds me of William Shatner. Wo Pang finishes chanting and says "Illusion becomes reality," then looks out of the MoG to add, "It is done." Angel turns his head and looks at Cordy, who suddenly looks very old. I think it's something about the lighting. She stares into the cage and says, "Angelus." Angel smirks at her and starts chuckling. And chuckling. And chuckling. Okay, I guess it does go on for a little too long, but to be fair, if he saw everything we did, I can see why he'd think that was pretty damn funny. The camera pulls back so we can see that the glass bottle is now glowing in that special soul-containing way.

time, Fred looks fresh and sweet, and Angel does a head-shaking thing that reminds me of Lost Highway. Bonus points to the promo department for modifying the usual Angel logo in the ad to read Angelus. Good times ahead.