Another carefree summer of malaria and hurricanes draws to a close, and a new season of fine corporate entertainment beckons to us seductively like the nice lady in room 237 of the Overlook Hotel. Just give her a little kiss and she'll distract you from your worries that the Yellowstone supervolcano will erupt and coat North America with several inches of ash, not to mention the lingering concern that all that noise is bound to wake Cthulhu, although at least then we won't have to deal with the packs of rampaging Yeti. It's nice to be back, especially after a summer that seemed to parallel Angel's, what with the site's brush with death, the disappearance of some old friends (in the form of two other sites), and...well, there's a parallel with Justine's demented yet idiotic quest for revenge, too, but let's just move on.
Previously on Angel...gosh, this is a pretty comprehensive previously! It's about ninety seconds long and includes things going back to Season Two. So rather than link to every episode for the past year and a half, let's just skip it. I've got to ease back in to this recap stuff, you know.
We pan over a large table loaded down with all the food in the world. The reunited MoG are passing food back and forth and chattering happily. It looks like the munch is taking place in the Hyperion's lobby, and classical music is playing in the background. Cordy notices that Angel hasn't taken any food, and he cheerfully explains that he wants to "freeze this moment" and savor it. Gunn's got a goatee, which pleases me. Cordelia's still blonde, which does not. Wesley leans out of his comfy seat in the shadows and raises his glass in a toast: "To family." Glasses are clinked all around, then Cordy fills Angel's empty wine glass with water. She reassures Angel that nothing will separate them ever again, "and if anything tries, [she'll] have to go all glowy and personally kick its ass." Angel coos, "I like it when you glow." As they lean in for a kiss, Connor grumps, "Do I have to watch this part?" Connor, count yourself lucky that you haven't had ice cream ruined for you for all time. Although I get the feeling that the Hyperion's fridge is full of Pistachio. Angel chuckles and offers to poke Connor's eyes out, but finally just ruffles Connor's hair instead. Connor makes fun of Angel's hair, earning more points with the audience. Everyone else keeps piling more food onto their plates, but the dishes keep passing Angel before he can take anything. He finally snatches one platter, but it's empty. Then Angel knocks over his glass, which shatters on the floor. Cordy sighs, "Now look what you've done, silly."
The music and lighting shift, and suddenly there's several feet of water on the floor and Angel has cuts on his face. He turns to stare at Connor, who menaces, "Freeze the moment, Dad. It'll last forever." The rest of the table is empty. We pull back and see Angel in his box, all alone at the bottom of the sea. Bet there are some surprised blowfish down there. Roll credits. There's one very annoying new shot of Angel standing on a rooftop, which is all stretched vertically like someone put the whole city on the rack or something. There's also a swashbuckling Wesley, and Cordelia's brunette in all of her shots, which seems like a good sign. And Vincent Kartheiser joins the credits, as Little Boy Blue. In several senses.
After the ads, we start with a nighttime shot of Gunn and Fred racing down a deserted street toward the truck. They're clearly escaping some baddies, and they reach the truck and hurry to drive away. "How we doin'?" Gunn asks, just as a vamp crashes down onto the truck's hood. "About the same!" Fred whimpers. The truck squeals to a halt, and the vamp rolls off onto the street as a spiffy red convertible arrives carrying three more vamps. Gunn walks over to exchange insurance information, which it seems he keeps written down on his axe. Or maybe that's just in case he runs into Jack Nicholson. Hey, I think that's the hubcap-axe! The lead vamp accuses Gunn of "hassling [his] hermanos," which looks alliterative but, sadly, isn't. Fred aims a crossbow as she politely explains that they just want to talk to someone named Marissa. The lead vamp immediately tells them where Marissa can be found, but then remembers that he's not supposed to be helpful, and prepares to fight. Fred fires, but the bolt is knocked out of harm's way. By the time she's reloaded, the lead vamp has grabbed her. Gunn fends off the other vamps while the lead vamp tosses the crossbow to the ground and asks Fred, "Angel left you a little toy, huh?" "More than one!" Fred answers, before popping a stake out from her jacket sleeve and dusting the vamp. Huh. Guess she learned the ropes over the summer. She picks up the crossbow and fires as she shouts at Gunn to get out of the way. Here's what I really liked: Gunn pulls the arrow out of the vamp as it dusts, then stakes another vamp with it. Nifty. And efficient. The last vamp knocks Gunn down, grabs the axe, and whips it at Fred. Yay! Then Connor appears and grabs the axe before it can crunch into Fred's skull. Damn and blast. Connor hurls the axe right back and kills the last vamp. Nice entrance. Terrible shirt, though. Connor looks at Gunn seriously for a second, then grins and asks, "Did you see that? Wasn't that cool?" Heh. It was cool enough to trigger a blipvert.
As they troop into the Hyperion lobby, Fred and Gunn lecture Connor about running off and teamwork and so on. Connor sulks briefly, then goes back to talking about how cool the thing with the axe was. Hee. Gunn concedes that there was some coolness to be found there, and then orders Connor to polish his axe. Er. There's no way to write that without sounding dirty. Sorry.
In the office, Gunn and Fred discuss whether they should tell Connor. Tell him what? A lot of exposition? I don't think they should tell Connor all about their current situation and what's happened over the summer, because he probably already knows. But so should Fred, and that's not stopping Gunn from reminding her that they've been trying to track down Angel and Cordy all summer, "and the only thing [they're] closing in on is an eviction." Plot point! Gunn waves around some random papers and whines that even Cary has deserted them. Fred says she's left messages for Cary, but sadly insists, "He's lost the mission, bro." Gunn repeats the bit about getting evicted so that we'll remember it later, since it's not actually a plot point this week. He adds, "You know you can't say 'bro.'" Thank you, Gunn. Fred pokes at the laptop and announces that she may have tracked down Marissa's home. She also asks if she can say "Dawg," and Gunn's expression is answer enough. It turns out that Marissa used to hunt in the same areas where they found the Angelmobile. Fred says, "She might be able to tell us what happened, if we can find her." "Find who?" Connor asks from the doorway. He's got his old man's lurking skills, I see.
Angel stands at Point Dume, just he did in "Tomorrow." He turns and walks back to the Angelmobile, and sees Cordelia standing there. Angel says that he thought she wasn't coming. Cordy insists, "You know me better than that. Better than anybody." I stop and think about that for a second, but it seems accurate. Poor Cordy. Angel gazes at Cordy and says that it's beautiful, "just the way it should be." Then he starts having flashes of his fight on the beach with Connor. "This isn't how it happened," he frets. Cordy soothes him and declares, "I'm in love with you, Angel. Deep down, I think I have been for a long time." We have a title! Angel grabs Cordy and kisses her, then growls, "I need you, Cordy," in a not-exactly-nice way. Which makes sense a moment later, when he starts kissing her neck and we see Cordy making a surprised face. Angel lifts his head, showing his game face, and calls, "I'm so sorry!" before chomping into her.
Angel twitches and screams in his box, deep in submarine space.
Hyperion. Connor wants to know why Gunn and Fred didn't tell him that if they can collar Marissa, they may get a lead on Angel. They explain that they were trying to spare his feelings. Connor insists that he should come along to question Marissa because he's just so darn worried about Angel, really he is. Fred gives in, and Connor scampers off to collect his weapons. Gunn, exasperated, says, "This is it, Fred. No Angel, no Cordy, we can't find Holtz, his psycho girlfriend's gone; we got nothin'!" Fred suggests Wolfram & Hart as an option, because she's an idiot. Gunn makes that same point using more words. Fred almost says the "W" word, and Gunn cuts her off. She grumps, "Well, I'm glad we talked it over." Gunn says that they already tried Wesley twice, and I'm not sure if that's counting the time he told them how to marinate crawdads or not, but it's not important. Gunn says, "Wesley doesn't give a damn about us." Fred wusses, but Gunn insists, "He made his choice. Now he has to live with it."
Geeeaaaah! Cut to a sweaty, naked Lilah collapsing upon an equally sweaty, naked Wesley. Oh lord. They say some things to each other that make me feel icky, and then Wesley makes a weird gagging motion with his tongue that I could have happily gone my whole life without seeing. There are some mutual "You can't resist me"s and neck-licks and as soon as I finish this recap I'm joining a convent. Lilah gets up and says she has to get back to work. With no shower? But she's got JBF hair! It's their turn for some exposition flogging, so they go over the kidnapping and pillow-smothering. Lilah snickers, "You thought you were doing the right thing. I hear that can be confusing." As she gets dressed, there's a peculiar close-up of Lilah slipping her shoe onto her foot, leading me to wonder if I should add retifism to the list of kinks in this episode. Lilah suggests that Wesley talk to Angel "when he gets back," and Wesley chuckles at her none-too-subtle attempt to get information. He insists that he doesn't know what happened to Angel, nor does he care. They share some final smooches, and Lilah exits. And then Angel wakes up screaming in a box. Right? No? That actually happened? Ew.
Once Lilah's gone, Wesley gets up and mercifully puts some jeans on before he walks across the room to unlock a closet door. Wesley's made some home improvements by installing iron bars in the closet. And behind them, he's installed a gagged and bound Justine. Holy crap. "It's time," Wesley says. "Let's go for a boat ride." Poor Lilah. You just know she'd be into this. And I'm not talking about the prospect of doing some sailing.
After spending the commercial break wondering what kind of crazy Gorean pirate games Wesley is into, we discover that, actually, he was being literal about the boat ride. Which is a shame, since I'd already thought up some jokes about "keelhauling" and "walking the plank." Arrrr. Justine and Wesley are in the tugboat that Justine picked up when she was collecting odd vehicles. Justine snarks that maybe they'll find an old tire or a shopping cart. I'm distracted because I'm trying to figure out why Wesley keeps Justine chained up in his apartment, but out on the sea she's not even handcuffed. Or at least there aren't any visible restraints on her. Hm. I could make some guesses, but let's not go there. Really, I just want a line or two somewhere that establishes that Justine escaped from Wesley before, and he just caught her again, so she knows there's no point in trying. Wesley ignores her and marks up some charts. She asks why he's bothering to look for Angel, but admits, "Anything's better than sitting around in my cage all day with nothing to do but to fill [sic] my bucket." When that fails to get a rise (oh dear) out of Wesley, she mocks him for "banging the enemy and keeping a slave-girl in his closet." Wesley mutters, "You were always a slave, Justine. You just couldn't see the chains." He expositions a bit about Justine's sister and Holtz and all that. Most of the exposition in this episode is reasonably smooth, considering how much there is to explain. But I'm not going to repeat it, because...well, I'm pretty sure you know what happened. Wesley does explain that it was "easy to figure out which door to kick in when Angel went missing." Not easy enough for Gunn and Fred, of course. Though, actually, I suppose Connor would have warned Justine if they were looking for her. Plus, unless they were really quick, they'd have to know to kick in Wesley's closet door. So, okay. While Wesley blathers on, Justine begins stealthily picking up a wrench that's been prominently placed on a table. She's not quite stealthy enough, though; there's a slight noise, and as she moves to swing at Wesley, he calmly says "I'll take away your bucket" without turning around. Justine ponders that for a second, then throws the wrench down onto the table and sulks.
Connor bursts into a dark room, followed by Gunn and Fred. The room appears to be empty; Fred guesses that Marissa is out. Boy, she sure is smart. She wonders if they should wait for Marissa to come back; Connor zips across the room and lifts a blanket, under which there's a walkman still playing quietly. "We won't have to," he says. Gunn and Fred raise their flashlights just as a vampire leaps down from the rafters, tackling them. Connor blocks the door, and he and Marissa trade a few punches before he pins her against a beam with a sword to her throat. Fred and Gunn proceed to interrogate Marissa about whether she saw Angel down on the beach a few months ago. Marissa instantly asks, "Tall, good-looking, weird hair?" Hee. Two hair jokes in one episode. Connor looks at her intently, then backs away as he explains, "He's my father. If you know what happened --" Marissa takes the opportunity Connor handed her to punch her way past them and dive through a window. Gunn starts to yell at Connor for being careless, but Connor races across the room and dives out after Marissa. Fred and Gunn boggle and give chase. They use the door, though. Wimps.
Marissa tries to escape from Connor by running down an alley. And then up a wall. It's pretty cool. I suppose it's a glaring continuity error, even though I'm pretty sure that it doesn't actually contradict anything that's been established. It's just something we haven't seen before. Which isn't really what "continuity" means, but there's probably a special fandom dictionary that I haven't seen. Anyway, Marissa reaches the rooftop and runs across it, but stops when she sees Connor already waiting for her. Connor asks what she saw on the beach, and Marissa insists that it's not important. She devamps, which is exciting since non-recurring vampires hardly ever get to do that, and smiles winningly at Connor. "It'll be our little secret," she insists. Connor calmly stakes her, and then hears Gunn calling for him. He rips his shirt sleeve and then cuts his arm with the stake. He put an edge on the wooden stake that'll cut skin? Wow. Oh, now I'm just thinking of getting an arm full of splinters, owie. Gunn and Fred catch up and ask Connor where Marissa is. Connor explains that he had to stake Marissa to defend himself. So now they'll never find Angel, nyah, nyah, nyah! He doesn't actually say that part out loud. Gunn shouts, "Do you know what you just did?" Connor throws the stake down angrily, runs to the edge of the building, and hops off. I guess they got used to him doing that over the summer. Gunn kvetches about Connor staking their only clue, and Fred has to be the understanding-mother-figure as she insists that Connor's "just a boy." Gunn responds with a little exposition about Connor's origins, and adds, "His nickname back in Quor-toth was 'The Destroyer.' Unless you put 'Conan' in front of that, I'm guessing it's not a good sign." Not even then, really. Fred snits, "He's Angel's son. That's all that matters," and stomps off.
Connor crouches on a building's edge, looking over the city in a way that makes me want to quote Ben Edlund. Angel walks into the background and observes that the city is beautiful. Connor calmly replies, "The way it should be," and turns to look at Angel. "What, no hug?" Angel mugs. Connor tensely tells Angel to "get it over with," but they're suddenly joined by a small group of vampires. Angel laughs, and Connor laughs exactly the same way. I like to imagine them practicing that. "Hee hee hee!" "No, more menacing, like this: heh heh heh." "Hah hah hah?" "No, try again..." Sorry, I got distracted by that idea. Right, so they're laughing. One vamp asks what the joke is, and Angel says, "I'll tell you later." Punching, flipping, and vamp-tossing ensue. Connor saves Angel from a staking. By the way, they seem to have dropped the stop-motion effect from the fights. And all the fight scenes in this episode are visible and comprehensible and everything. See, guys, was that so hard? The fight ends, and Angel chuckles and grips Connor's shoulders in a friendly manner. And then snaps Connor's neck.
Angel twitches and screams in his box, off on another head trip.
In a garishly lit backstage area which will henceforth be known as "Vegas," a big burly guy strolls over to Cary, who's getting his makeup done. Cary looks ready to headline in a "Demons in Furs" burlesque show. The burly guy hands a phone to Cary and says, "Two minutes." The call is from Fred, who explains that she's been trying to reach him. Cary apologizes, noting that if he gets any hotter, "they'll have to stamp [him] out." Fred asks if Cary's heard anything from his "connections" about Angel or Cordelia. Cary hasn't, and says he has to go, quickly adding, "take care of yourself and, um, make sure Fluffy's getting enough love." He hangs up and returns the phone to the burly guy.
A disappointed Fred hangs up and asks Gunn, "Who's Fluffy? Are you Fluffy?" Hee. Her disgusted tone there amuses me. And then she ruins everything by following it up with a single entendre. Damn. Gunn frets, "No leads, no clients...pretty soon, no roof over my smooth, delicate head." Fred makes my teeth hurt. She cuddles Gunn and insists that they'll find Angel and Cordy, "no matter what the Powers That Screw You throw at [them]."
Wolfram & Hart. Linwood tells Lilah that "young Gavin's had a breakthrough with the psychics" regarding Angel's whereabouts. Lilah's hair is kind of ratty. The first time I watched this, I wondered why Lilah looked so terrible here. But now I think it's intentional; she's supposed to have rushed back to work from that...er, scene with Wesley, so she shouldn't look particularly fresh. As they pedeconference, Gavin says that Angel is "safe and immobilized." Lilah observes the vagueness of that information, but Linwood claims to be satisfied. Lilah reminds us that Angel's going to be a bigwig in the apocalypse, so the Senior Partners might like a better handle on Angel's location. There's a little lens flare behind Lilah's head in this scene, and it's driving me nuts. I'm so petty. Linwood pointedly notes that Gavin's dug up all sorts of other interesting facts. Lilah catches on very quickly, but insists that how she spends her personal time is none of Gavin's business. That doesn't impress Linwood much, so Lilah adds that Wesley doesn't know anything useful. She looks a little worried, though. Linwood says that there'll be a staff meeting in an hour, and hops into an elevator with Gavin.
Ship of Tools. Wesley looks at his, uh, radar thingy, or whatever it is, and spots something metallic on the seabed. Justine says it's probably nothing, and Wesley tosses her some goggles. Wait. He makes Justine paddle down and search for Angel? I can see why he wouldn't let her stay on the boat when he went down, but...oh well.
A light moves across Angel's casket. He blinks and twitches in the glare. Oh, the poor guy! I just realized that he's covered with water and he's all traumatized, but there's no room for him to fall down and twitch in that tiny box! That's why he's having all the bad dreams. When he gets out of there, he's going to have to spend a solid week twitching to catch up. The casket is hauled up to the surface and brought on board. Wesley cuts the lid open while Justine watches angrily. Honestly, I think you can assume that "angrily" describes everything Justine does. She's just that way. After removing the lid, Wesley cuts through the cables holding Angel while Justine snarks, "Congratulations, you're the big hero. Maybe your friends will throw you a party? I wonder what the cake's gonna look --" She's interrupted when Angel suddenly grabs Wesley by the throat. Oh Angel, I think Wesley's already made it clear that he's not into breathplay.
After the ads, Angel is still gripping Wesley's neck. But not very forcefully. Wesley pulls Angel's hand away and places it back in the casket while Angel's eyes flutter closed again. I think Wesley's going to develop a complex. I mean, I get tense about things touching my neck, and that's without people constantly making these kinds of attempts on my life. At the very least, I'd expect him to start wearing more turtlenecks.
Cut to Angel getting dumped on a table in the cabin. Wesley pulls out jars of animal blood and begins pouring the stuff into Angel's mouth. Many months ago, Thespis emailed me to say that the blood they use on the show is actually pure Strawberry Quik. Ew. For some reason, I'm more disgusted by that than I was by the pretend blood-drinking. I've been meaning to mention that for ages, though, and I always forget. So there's your trivia fact for the day. Anyway, Wesley quickly mutters something to the effect that "a vampire can go indefinitely without feeding, but damage to higher brain functions from prolonged starvation can be catastrophic." That was a whole lot of big words to mutter quickly. And this is Angel we're talking about, Wesley. I think worrying about his "higher brain functions" might be a bit over the top. As Angel gasps and gulps down the blood, Justine keeps being bratty: "He hates you. They all do. And they're never gonna take you back."
Connor returns to the Hyperion, where Fred and Gunn are waiting for him. Connor asks if this is "gonna be the yelling thing again." Fred says it won't, but Connor tells her that Gunn looks like he's about to yell. "I do not," Gunn says, and then Connor tells Fred, "He always looks like he's gonna yell." I wonder if Connor took a correspondence course in how to irritate parental figures, because he's awfully good at it. Sure, anybody would be irritated by the whole getting-locked-in-a-box trick...well maybe not anybody, but most people. However, talking about an authority figure as if he isn't there -- that's a pretty sophisticated irritation technique. Fred asks where Connor's been, and Connor gives the correct teenager's reply: "Out." The problem might be Gunn's pink shirt. I have a hard time taking Gunn seriously when he's wearing that. Connor heads for the stairs, and Gunn quietly says, "We were worried." At that, Connor looks guilty and apologizes. For a brief moment, they all get along, and then Gunn says exactly the wrong thing by comparing Connor's pig-headedness to Angel's. Connor instantly reverts to sullen and mouthy, insists that he's not like Angel, and stomps upstairs. Gunn and Fred have a quick parental conference about Alpha Males and "testing" and more insipid cooing from Fred and another single entendre. The phone rings, and Gunn wants to ignore it and keep smooching Fred, but he finally answers it. Because he's disciplined.
Ship of Tools. Angel, somewhat recovered, asks, "Why is it like this?" Cary says that he doesn't know, and I guess Angel isn't quite so recovered after all. Angel whines that everything he touches turns to ashes. Cary insists, "The only one turning to ashes is that patricidal pup of yours. And hell, I'd take him out myself if I wasn't just a crappy hallucination." Wesley enters the cabin and asks how Angel is. Justine grouches, "He won't shut up." Wait'll you see the end of the show, Justine. Angel mutters, and Wesley tells him to rest. Non-existent Cary starts singing "Hush Little Baby." Angel sees Connor staring down at him. "I should have killed you," Angel intones. Wesley looks down and thinks that Angel is talking to him. Justine and I giggle. Johanna says, "Oh, it's just a wacky misunderstanding, like on Three's Company!" Wesley decides that Angel needs "more substantial nourishment," and when Justine asks what that means, he pulls out a knife. Justine feels that's beyond her limits. Wesley agrees: "Your blood's too thin." Eh? If he means that metaphorically, does he know that he's English? Just asking. Wesley slices across his own forearm and then puts his arm over Angel's head. Angel slurps away. I couldn't really tell how pale Angel's makeup was until you I saw Wesley's skin in contrast. Nice.
In the Wolfram & Hart conference room, Lilah fondles a leather...chair. Well, that's a new one on me. A bunch of other lawyers enter and take their seats. Linwood announces that they have a lot of ground to cover, "but first, let's talk about Lilah." He asks for recommendations from the others, but Lilah nervously interrupts and asks if she could say a few words. Gavin and Linwood needle her about her failures, and Lilah apologizes. More confidently, she says, "I've made mistakes, but fear was never one of them." She asks why they haven't captured Connor, and why they haven't figured out where Angel is. Linwood gets irate and snaps, "Lack of long-term vision has always been one of your shortcomings." Lilah stands up and replies that lack of courage has always been Linwood's. She taunts him some more before dropping the bomb that "Mr. Suvarta agrees with me." Linwood gulps, "You spoke to a Senior Partner?" Lilah says, "He had some great hints on office furniture." Linwood blusters about Lilah going over his head. Lilah pokes at her PDA, and a little blade whips out from behind Linwood's chair for a split second. "Just under it, actually," Lilah quips, as a plastic head resembling Linwood's rolls onto the conference table. Lilah tells the others that they report to her now, and dismisses them. Gavin gets head-tidying duty. Rock on, Lilah. It makes sense that she'd be good at negoiations. I wonder if she gets stock options with her promotion. If so, Gavin's probably going to be the one in them.
Connor's in his room, playing with a Game Boy. You know, it'd be funny to discover that instead of some kung-fu fighting game, Connor likes to unwind with a game of Monopoly. Just a thought. There's a knock on the door, and he barks "What?" All the surly teen stuff really amuses me for no good reason. It's just Fred, with milk and a sandwich. Connor says he isn't hungry, then asks what it is. "Bologna," says Fred, "with a smidgen of foreshadowing." If Connor was my brother, there'd be a lot of stuff here about whether the sandwich was cut triangularly and if Fred had any of those little toothpicks with the colored plastic fringe. And also a bendy-straw for the milk. Connor, however, just stuffs his face and asks if Gunn is still mad. Fred says, "I can't imagine what you've been through," and expositions a bit. She finishes quietly by saying, "I know you're still hurting, but I promise it's not nearly as much as you're gonna hurt for what you did to your father." Connor looks up, wonderfully bewildered, and then Fred tasers him. A couple times. Wow. I bet my mom wanted to do that to my brother a few times, too.
After the ads, Connor wakes up tied to a chair, with Gunn and Fred glaring at him. Connor looks honestly bewildered and sad here as Fred explains that they "got a call from an old friend tonight." Gunn says, "That's right, Sparky, Daddy's coming home. And I'm guessing there's gonna be a spanking." Gunn looks kind of satisfied by the latest revelation, but Fred's genuinely upset. I like Amy Acker, and I think she's talented. It's just Fred that sucks. So very much. Gunn asks if Connor stuffed Cordelia into a box as well. Fred, near tears, demands to know how Connor could do it, and tasers Connor again. Yow. That's a switch.
Wesley tucks Angel into his SUV, which I guess he reclaimed from Justine at some point. Justine watches from where she's chained to a bit of fencing. She shouts at Wesley, "Sooner or later, [Angel will] turn on you, and all your friends!" Wesley tosses a key down on the ground and says, "You can continue being a slave, Justine, or you can live your life. Your choice." I suspect that Justine would be happiest doing both. Wesley drives away.
Fred moans to Gunn, "I would have done anything for him. Now all I wanna do is hurt him." Boy, do I know how that is. From his chair, Connor sniffs, "Go ahead. Hurt me some more, Fred." Yikes. DeKnight, I like you and everything, but you're going to have to answer for a lot of unfortunate fanfic. Fred asks if Connor feels anything, and demands, "How could you do that to your father?" Connor says, "He got what he deserved." Fred asks when she and Gunn would deserve the same thing, and Connor is left quipless.
The door slams, and Gunn and Fred rush out to see Wesley dragging Angel inside. Angel's dumped onto the sofa as Gunn asks if he'll be okay. "In time, maybe," Wesley responds unhelpfully. Fred's shocked at Angel's appearance, and starts to ask Wesley for remorbidization tips when she realizes that he's already heading for the door. Wesley says, "I'm done here." Gunn asks why Wesley didn't warn them about Connor, and Wesley insists that Connor wouldn't hurt a human. How does he know that? I'm willing to believe it, but Wesley wasn't around for any of the evidence supporting that idea. He adds that the others were safer not knowing. Fred sniffs, "You really don't care anymore, do you?" Wesley glares in response, then starts to leave. He stops to mention that Angel will need more blood, adding, "I'm fresh out."
Once Wesley's gone, Angel groans to remind the others that, hey, disabled vampire in need of some care over here. Fred says that Angel is freezing cold, and Gunn starts to fetch blankets when there's a clatter back in the office. Gunn runs in, and a freed Connor quickly shoves Gunn into a wall. So Connor has practice getting out of ropes? Y'know, I don't think I want to know how he and Holtz spent their time in Quor-toth. Fred races in with the taser, which Connor promptly grabs and uses to zap Fred. Hee. Got her right in the neck, too. What is with these people and necks? Connor turns for the door and runs right into Angel, who's standing there all "Et tu, Connor?"
"Sit. Down," Angel grunts. Connor nervously backs up, then says, "You're too weak to take me." "You really think that?" Angel whispers. Oh, the bluffing game! That's always fun. And it always works! Connor's never heard of Prince Humperdinck, so he picks up the overturned chair, slams it down, and sits in it. Heh. Gunn sits up a bit, but decides that staying on the floor is a good strategy at this point. Angel casually asks, "So, how was your summer? Mine was fun! Saw some fish. Went mad with hunger. Hallucinated a whole bunch." Connor says that Angel deserved worse, and Angel replies that he didn't kill Holtz. He explains that Justine did the foul deed in the alley, with the ice pick. Damn, I thought it was Professor Plum this whole time. "Even if..." Connor says, then has to think for a while before coming up with, "You still deserved it." But he sounds a little less confident. Angel suggests skipping the whole question of what he deserves, adding, "There's a difference between wishing vengeance on someone and taking it. So now, the question becomes: What do you deserve?"
Connor suddenly breaks for the door, but Angel grabs him on the way and throws him back against the wall. So I guess Connor doesn't think he deserves Circus Cookies and hugs. Angel looms over Connor and says, "Wesley told me everything that's going on, so as far as I'm concerned, what you deserve rests on one answer. Did you do something to Cordelia?" Connor insists that he didn't, but Fred and Gunn think he's lying. Angel says he believes it, adding, "You've done enough lying for me to know the difference." He says that what Connor did was unbelievable, "but then I got stuck in a hell dimension by girlfriend one time for a hundred years, so a few months under the ocean actually gave me perspective." There's a joke somewhere in here about Darla and the gates of hell, but I'll leave that one to you. Angel says he had time to think, and observes, "Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. It's harsh and cruel, but that's why there's us." He uses the "C" word, which I'm skipping, and says "We live as if though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be. You're not a part of that yet. I hope you will be." He walks over to Connor and intones, "I love you, Connor. Now get out of my house." Hey, he actually had emotion in his eyes there and everything. And that was a hard speech to sell, because a lot of it sounds like teen poetry. Although that's sorta in character for Angel. Pretty good job from Boreanaz, though. Connor gets in one final glare and quietly leaves. Angel wobbles and collapses onto a chair. Fred says that Angel needs to rest, but Angel rants, "I need Cordy, now. Wherever she is, whatever she's going through. We have to find her." Y'know, there was an award-winning study suggesting that love is identical to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Maybe Angel just needs some SRIs. Or cognitive behavior therapy, which I don't think should be acronymed.
Suddenly, the camera is zipping through clouds and shiny things toward a bright white blur. We zoom in further and see Cordelia glowing at the center of a ball of shiny FX. Dude, now Cordy's a Vorlon? Wacky. Cordy grumps, "God, I am so bored."
Sunday, a brunette in silly clothes sucks Angel's face. It's not Cordy, though. I think maybe it's a Folsom Electric salesgirl.