Sulky, embittered props to lawtalkin'guy, for beating me to the punchline. Harumph. I'd also like to mention how much nicer it is to do a recap when I don't dread watching the episode again.
Previously on Angel...gosh, who can remember? The WB helpfully offered up one of their melodramatic voice-over-laden previews, which of course I didn't tape because I figured there'd also be an opening previously. But apparently this time the WB coordinated with the Mutant Enemy folk, so there wasn't one. And so, much like Angel's son, we're dropped into the middle of a strange and confusing universe, at the mercy of people who may not have our best interests at heart.
Angel's hanging out at home. In his earthquake-shattered, fire-damaged apartment. Staring at an empty crib. Everything seems cool here; what else is going on?
At Wesley's apartment, Fred is compulsively playing the messages she left on Wesley's answering machine. "Oh my goodness, do I really sound that whiny and annoying? No wonder they all hate me!" she thinks. Gunn enters, and Fred insists that Wesley wouldn't take the brat. Because who would want to be saddled with that kid? Gunn says that Wesley did take the kid, and that if they find Wesley they can ask him what his reasons were. Fred wonders what will happen if Angel finds Wesley. Gunn answers that question: "He'll kill him, and we won't be able to ask him." That's "he" meaning "Angel," and both "him"s meaning "Wesley" and "we" meaning "Gunn and Fred." Lines like that make sense when you hear them, but they're awful when you see them printed, aren't they? One of the burdens of recapping. Anyway, Fred offers to stay at the apartment in case Wesley returns, but Gunn says Wesley isn't coming back. Fred frets, and whines, and suddenly wonders where Wesley's diaries are. Um, with Wesley? Gunn pretty much ignores Fred and suggests that they go to the Hyperion and keep an eye on Angel.
As they head out to Gunn's truck, Fred starts to call Wesley on her cell phone. Gunn says, "If he was gonna answer his cell phone, he would have the first forty times you called." Fred snits, "You telling me to quit trying?" Yes. Yes he is, oh Fred the Super-genius. They stare at each other, and Fred apologizes. Gunn dismisses that and tells her to keep trying, without saying, "If you're waiting for him to answer the phone, you aren't babbling in my ear." But he's thinking it, I just know it. They drive away, and we pan over to Wesley's phone, which is lying on the ground, ringing. Oh, and about a foot away from the phone is Wesley. With his bloody throat. He doesn't look so good. Yay!
Holtz's Haven for Heterodoxy, now under new management. Justine returns home as the uh, those guys? Them. They're chaining up a couple of vampires. I really need a better name for these guys if they're going to keep turning up. Let's try "Frog Brothers" this time. It ought to make the sentences more interesting, at the very least. Justine asks why the vamps are there, and a Frog answers (ha!), "So we can continue training." Justine quickly stakes both vampires and declares that practice is over. "From here out [sic], everything is real." The Frog asks what happened to Holtz. Justine briefly reports that Holtz escaped with Angel's son, "As he and I planned." The Frogs refrain from croaking, "Liar, liar!" Justine extemporizes some praise for the kids, and says, "He charged us to finish the work he started. We're going to kill Angelus."
Angel has taken a seat on the floor, and is still staring at the crib. Credits.
I call Johanna, and tell her that the bad guys this season were a lot more interesting than the MoG. They should have spent the middle of the season showing us Holtz and Justine, and their wacky adventures, and how they gathered more, uh, Frog Brothers. And not just because that would have been less baby goofiness, but also because Holtz & Justine are interesting. They could have at least had one whole episode that was all from Justine's point of view while she and the others were kept under surveillance. Angel and the MoG could have been like the B-story, and the cast would have had some time off, which apparently Charisma Carpenter needed anyway. Everyone wins! Johanna agrees, and asks why they spent so much time on the stupid baby. "I think they believed that having all the happy fuzzy stuff would make it more tense when everything went to hell." Johanna asks, "Why did they think that? Why did they think we'd like the baby?" Sadly, I have no answer for her.
When we return, Cary has, presumably, just finished filling in Gunn and Fred about what happened with Holtz and the brat and Sahjhan and the big swirliness and all that. Fred's in denial about the loss of the baby. Cary's horns look different. Lower on his forehead. Maybe it's just the angle. Then Fred gets all sniffley about traveling through portals. Gunn turns to stare at her as she moans, "There's pulling, and there's noise, and there's nothing to hold on to, nothing at all. He must have been so scared!" Eh, apart from the noise it's not so different from being born, and the baby got to skip most of that unpleasantness, so it seems only fair. Also? Shut up, Fred. Gunn's wearing a sparkly little ring. Hm. Gunn says, "This is making less and less sense," echoing the thoughts of the audience. He can't believe Wesley would conspire with Holtz, so Cary repeats that they'd met secretly. Cary says, "When he left with that child, he wasn't planning on coming back. Ever." Fred wants to know why Wesley did it.
Having finished his crib-meditation exercise, a refreshed Angel enters the lobby and declares, "I don't care about why. All I care about is getting my son back. Then I'll deal with those responsible. They'll all pay. Including Wesley." His "they'll all pay" is amusingly matter-of-fact, as if this is all over ten bucks someone borrowed. Later I'll actually have nice things to say about Boreanaz's acting, but in all fairness that delivery didn't work for me. Angel tells Cary that the portal led to the "Quar-Toth dimension," and orders him to find out everything he can about it. Gunn asks if they're going to visit Quar-Toth, and Angel grunts, "I am." He strides into the office for a change of venue, and Gunn and Fred follow.
Although in theory he's fine with the idea of a business trip, Gunn feels obliged to point out that their last extra-dimensional journey was arranged by Wesley. Angel insists that they don't need Wesley, because they're "gonna find the son of a bitch who opened the portal in the first place." He hits "son of a bitch" with extra emphasis that seems to signify that he's kind of excited about cursing on TV. Angel tosses over a sketch of Sahjhan and explains, "He's been behind all this since the beginning." All which? The beginning of what? Whoops, no time for questions, because we're blipverting to...
Wolfram & Hart. Lilah is a little startled to see Linwood step into her office. He's wearing a tuxedo. And, I note with some pleasure, a vest. Linwood knows how to wear a tux. He expresses some irritation with Lilah's latest shenanigans, which were "all behind [his] back." Lilah assures him that she's working on a full report right now. Linwood pours himself a drink as he chuckles about how Angel keeps them hopping. Aw, he's trying to recapture Holland's folksy menace. It's not working. Linwood says that Lilah is "in a war [she] can never win, full of sticky moral quandaries." He reminds her, "The side you choose should always be mine." That "moral quandaries" part kind of came out nowhere, didn't it? And it's going straight back to nowhere. Linwood goes on emphasizing how terribly disappointed he is by Lilah's behavior. Lilah wonders if having three sets of betrayer/betrayed story lines going on is overdoing the theme, but Linwood assures her that it provides more variety than having two parallel stories, and besides, hers will be resolved pretty quickly so she might as well get on with it. Lilah obligingly tries to placate Linwood by telling him that she had a gun to her head earlier that night. Linwood asks if Lilah made every effort to save the kid. I wonder if he's worried that Angel will make good on his threat to make sure that whatever happens to the baby also happens to Linwood. Lilah repeats, "Gun. At my head." Linwood sadly notes that it's a "big win for Holtz," and not for Wolfram & Hart.
Fred's trying to dig up information about Sahjhan on-line. And not having much luck. She blathers for a while, and then wonders if she could look it up in another book. Angel's cool with trying that, but Fred notes, "It's in Ga-shundi, and I don't read Ga-shundi." My goodness, there's something Fred can't do! Besides shut up. Gunn isn't faring much better in his attempt to understand Cordelia's filing system. Fred picks up the phone, preparing to call Cordelia, but Angel hangs up the phone and says that he doesn't want to ruin Cordy's vacation. Fred and the audience go, "Huh?" Fred points out that Cordy might be able to help, and then David Boreanaz acts. It's spooky, I tell you. His voice gets tight and nears hysteria as he says, "She'll be back soon, and when she does [sic], she'll have presents. For Connor. And he's gonna be here so she can give them to him. Okay?" Perhaps I'm too dazzled by the emoting to be thinking straight, but I kind of buy that reaction -- Cordelia is the one most likely to express genuine sorrow and sympathy for Angel, and I could see Angel not feeling ready to deal with that. It could be I'm projecting, though. On the other hand, I also think that Fred should try giving Cordelia a call when Angel isn't there to stop her. After a moment Angel apologizes and says, "This isn't working. Forget about all this. I gotta go." He leaves, and Fred and Gunn stare at each other. Fred worries that Angel is skipping ahead to the quest for vengeance. Gunn thinks they should find Wesley.
Who's still at the park. And he's got company in the form of a bum. Or maybe just a guy who collects trash; I don't want to jump to conclusions. The bum sees Wesley and hurries over. "Are you alive? Can you talk?" he asks. It'd be funny if Wesley said, "In order, no and yes!" Spooky Zombie Wesley! The bum starts to search Wesley for ID, which seems like an odd response. Wesley blinks and moves a little as the bum pulls out Wesley's wallet, which is packed with hundred-dollar bills. "This wasn't no mugging," observes the bum, and pockets the wallet. The bum stands up and drags Wesley by the jacket, pulling him behind a nearby bush for safekeeping. Then he reappears, unsuccessfully tries to kick out the scuff marks Wesley's body left in the dirt, and runs away.
It turns out that Angel isn't dealing with those responsible; he's just staring at his weapons cabinet. Okay, maybe some time has passed since then. Cary returns and nervously reports that "the news isn't good." Cary says that everyone he spoke to is frightened of the Quar-Toth dimension. Yeah, and you know why they're scared of it? Because that's where the horrible baby is! Angel quietly walks over to a desk and pulls out a staple remover, which he clicks to his ear. "Look, I can pretend I've got castanets!" he doesn't say. I'd guessed what he was really doing, but it's still amusing. he picks up a memo spindle, while Cary says that Sahjhan didn't open a portal, exactly: "The only way in is to rip right through the fabric of reality."
Speaking of which, suddenly they're both upstairs. Angel walks down the hall while Cary follows, repeating that they can't get to Quar-Toth. "To punch through to Quar-Toth would require dark, dark magic. The kind of power it takes centuries to build." Cary adds that even if Angel could go there, finding Connor there would be "like looking for a needle in a haystack. The size of China." Angel finally breaks his silence by muttering, "Needles. I shoulda thought of that." Angel opens the door to his apartment as Cary says, "We just don't have the resources to conjure up that much dark power." Inside the apartment sits an uncomfortable Linwood, tied to a chair. "Oh, I think we do," Angel replies.
Angel picks up some shears from an otherwise empty kitchen cabinet as Linwood introduces himself to Cary. Turns out Linwood's last name is Murrow. I don't think we knew that before. Although I'm also not sure why we care now that we do know, but I'm just the recapper. Angel lays out gadgets on a table while Linwood tries to threaten Angel with Wolfram & Hart's fearsome wrath. Angel isn't too intimidated, and who can blame him, given their record so far. Angel notes, "They'd kill you before they'd kill me." See, people should stop telling Angel that he's got an important role to play in the Apocalypse. It's not making him any more modest, y'know? Cary notes that Linwood is a human, not some "slimy demon." Um, Cary -- you're a demon. I think both Justine and Cary could benefit from some group therapy. Cary asks if Angel knows what he's doing, and Linwood interjects, "At last count, the charges were kidnapping, assault and battery, and attempted mur --" Angel tidily places a table covered with memo spindles and other pointy objects in front of Linwood. "None of which I intend to press," Linwood backpedals. Angel picks up spindle as Linwood nervously adds, "In fact, let's not press anything, shall we?" Angel leans over and puts the spindle's tip within an inch of Linwood's eye as he asks about Sahjhan. Linwood offers to make a phone call, and Angel pulls out Linwood's cell phone. Angel dials and holds the phone up for Linwood, who instructs Lilah to "give [Angel] anything he wants."
Blipvert. Frog Brothers' Killy Pad. Justine is hanging out, whittling a stake, when Gunn and Fred arrive. How do they know about this place? Wesley's the only one who's been here. Gunn suggests that Justine get a guard dog, because "anyone can just walk in." I have to agree. "Getting in isn't the hard part," Justine grrs. Gunn asks if Holtz and Justine lured Wesley into a trap, and Justine simply replies that Wesley knew what he was doing. See, I did enjoy this episode, but I think this its biggest problem: there are a lot of scenes where characters tell each other things that we already know. And here's a scene where someone refuses to tell the others what we know. It can't be avoided completely, but this scene in particular is just running in place. So there.
After some bantering, Fred declares, "We lost a child, you lost Holtz. Isn't that enough already?" I'm not sure when the MoG became aware of Justine's feelings for Holtz. Particularly since they've never met Justine until now. Justine says that, as a matter of fact, it's not enough, so Fred asks if killing everybody will make Justine happy. Justine just stares at Fred, who backs down and moans, "Oh. There is no happy for you." Swell, now Fred's psychic. Fred blithers about how she can see that Justine and Holtz shared everything, and that losing him must be "like losing a father. Or worse." She's just crazy leaping-to-conclusions girl, isn't she? Sure, we may know she's right, but there's no reason on earth for her to be making these assumptions. Fred also takes in the rubble filling the room, and abruptly turns to Gunn and says, "Trash! I'll explain that later." Boy, am I looking forward to that. Justine stands up and says it's time for them to leave. Gunn says they aren't leaving until they find out what happened to Wesley. Then Justine says, "Well, you're half right. About the not-going part." But she just said it was time for them to go! I think Justine forgot what her own plan was.
The Frog Brothers enter, and Gunn pushes Fred to one side. Maybe because he wants to protect her, and maybe because he's been dying for an excuse to shove her. It's up to you. Justine, concerned that Fred is still too close to the mayhem, thoughtfully backhands her over a table. Yay! One of the Frog Brothers grabs Gunn from behind and puts a knife to his throat. This gives Justine a flashback to her attack on Wesley, and she shouts, "Wait!" Because she realizes that Gunn, unlike Wesley, is cool, and it might make me sad if something bad happened to him. Justine and I have an understanding. Although I don't know why she spares Fred. Justine orders the Frog Brothers to let Gunn and Fred go. Gunn glares around at everybody in that alpha male way while Fred pulls him toward the door. Heh.
Kaleidoscopic blipvert. Angel and Lilah are hurrying down a hallway at Wolfram & Hart. Lilah is trying to build up our anticipation by muttering about "the White Room." She says, "It was three years before I even heard of it," which is funny, because same here. They step into an elevator and Lilah confirms that Angel has instructions for getting to the White Room. He pulls out a piece of paper and hits the buttons for various floors while Lilah goes on about how last September a guy went into the White Room and now he's in an asylum. Yeah, sure. I bet Gavin forwards lots of urban legend emails to Lilah. Angel finishes hitting buttons, and a new, larger button morphs into being at the top of the panel. Lilah is dazzled by the magic, and tries to snag the instructions Angel's holding, but he slips them into his pocket and punches the new button. Fade to white. Hey, I thought that didn't happen until someone died.
Lilah and Angel stare around at a white set with forced perspective. Great, Wolfram & Hart has their own holodeck. That's all I need. They are greeted by a little girl in a red dress. I half-expect her to start snapping her fingers and talking backwards, but instead she compliments Lilah's red nail polish. She segues to Angel by saying, "You have a taste for red, too. And revenge. I know; so much more fun than forgiveness." Angel asks about Sahjhan, and the girl mock-pouts, "Aw, do you want your little baby back?" Mmm, ribs. The girl expositions about Sahjhan, and even provides a helpful flashback. We see a Sahjhan-ish person lifting a severed head and battling someone on a set straight out of German Expressionism. So we've gone from Twin Peaks to Sleepy Hollow in the blink an eye. And the white room is kind of Kubrick-esque. You know, I think this little girl is the spirit of the AFI. She says, "They caused a lot of trouble. Don't get me wrong; I like trouble. But I hate chaos. So we changed them." There are a lot of vague pronouns floating around here. Angel asks how they (demons like Sahjhan) can be captured, and the girl mentions "a special urn." Even the spooky little girl doesn't want to try to say "Resikhian urn." I don't blame her.
Cue another flashback: some monks chant and the Sahjhan-ish guy is surrounded by sparkles and sucked into the mystical DustBuster. The girl says, "But you don't want his essence in a jar; you want something you can sink your teeth into." Angel gives Lilah a frowny look like he's about to say, "Is she makin' fun of me? Am I clown?" The girl says that "these things always come with a price. Kill [Lilah]." Angel immediately steps over and prepares to perform his patented neck-snap on Lilah. Then the girl squeaks, which I think is a really bad attempt at a giggle, and tells him, "That's enough for now. I can see why they respect you." They who? Her other spooky friends, or Sahjhan's kind, or Wolfram & Hart? I need annotations for this scene. The girl explains that Angel can make Sahjhan tangible with "a big ritual," and a piece of paper disappears from her hand and appears in Angel's. Now she's just showing off. Or she's very lazy. Although maybe it's just as well that the girl didn't move from her chair, since Johanna was terrified that she was going to suddenly skitter across the floor. Johanna doesn't like things that skitter. Which makes you wonder why she has a dachshund. "Can't wait to see how it turns out," the girl chirps, and Lilah and Angel fade out.
Fred and Gunn are examining a trash bin behind Wesley's apartment. Sirens are audible nearby, which I think is meant to imply that somebody found Wesley. It also implies that Fred and Gunn are pretty damn unobservant -- did they just walk past an ambulance out front without wondering why it was there? Anyway, Fred says, "Throw me away." Gunn asks, "You want me to put you in the trash?" It almost seems like they went through a list of scenes I'd like to see, and tried to work them all in here. That's sweet. Fred theorizes that if Wesley didn't take his diaries with him, he threw them away. Sure. Except why wouldn't he take them with him? If he had time to throw them out, he had time to pack them. Gunn helps lift Fred into the bin, where she pokes around, pausing to comment, "Ew! Somebody ate that?" Um, if it's in the trash, presumably no one ate it. I hope. But naturally, after a few seconds Fred pops up with a notebook. Gunn doesn't even get to say, "Shame, folks throwin' away a perfectly good white girl like that." Except it wouldn't be a shame at all, of course.
Inside Wesley's apartment, Gunn and Fred look through the diary. Fred says that Wesley "kept separate diaries for all the major players: Darla, Connor, Angel." Too bad you only found one book, then. Did Wesley take all of the other diaries, and just happen to leave this one? Sigh. Fred adds that Wesley was frightened of a "pending doom sort of thing." What else is new? She references to a prophecy that Wesley wanted to disprove, and wonders what it could be. Once again, we've got a scene where characters are taking their sweet time figuring out something we already know. I think seeing Fred find the diary would be sufficient to let us know that they learned what Wesley's motive was; we don't need to see them read the diary and tell each other what it says. Sorry to keep harping on that, I just feel like the pacing undermines the plot a bit. Anyway, Gunn looks down at the paper he's holding and shows it to Fred: "The father will kill the son." Fred giddily declares, "This is great! I told you he had a reason for taking Connor." She insists that "Wesley did the right thing. The only thing he could do, under the circumstances." Sure. Except tell somebody. Shut up, Fred. Fred says that they have to tell Angel about this, and Gunn snipes, "And he'll forgive Wes for taking his son and giving him away to his mortal enemy?" Fred, deep in denial, thinks it might be a start.
Back at the Hyperion, Cary is urging Angel to find some other way. Angel is apparently painting something. I would expect Cary to appreciate that some artistic expression can be a healthy outlet for -- oh, Angel's painting a pentagram on the floor. Lilah says that this is the only way, and reviews Angel's painting skills. Why are Lilah and Linwood still there? I guess Angel's keeping them around in case this doesn't work, or something. Still, I wouldn't trust Lilah to read me the instructions for cooking a pizza, much less the instructions for some super-dangerous incantation. Cary goes on protesting and saying stuff about "primordial powers of darkness" and they're very dangerous, blah blah menace-cakes. Everyone, including the audience, ignores him. Lilah says that the ingredient is human blood. Angel looks at Lilah, and then they both turn to look at Linwood. He's still tied up, by the way. Lilah picks up a dainty little dagger and steps toward Linwood. Then she smirks, and cuts open her palm. Yow. There are less painful places to cut yourself, Lilah. Maybe she's hoping for her very own evil hand. Or maybe she's just noticed that the price for betrayal is getting something sliced -- which means that if Holtz is paying attention, he should stay away from sharp objects. Lilah steps into the pentagram and lets some blood drip onto the floor. I think spells involving human blood should specify how much. It seems kind of important. Angel turns a few of the lights off because he knows that Sahjhan would probably want to make a dramatic, mood-lit entrance. He's so considerate. Lilah steps back, and Angel reads, "Corpus granok Sahjhan demonicus." That's actually a pretty simple spell. Try it at home! The air within the pentagram begins to swirl around, emitting various flashes of light and FX. Angel picks up a battle axe as there's a final flash which fades away to reveal...nothing. Angel's not happy. He points the axe at Linwood and demands, "Where is he?"
Cars zip by on a city street as, in a flash of light, Sahjhan appears. He turns around just in time to get rammed by a huge pick-up truck. The truck spins around, hits another car, and stops. We pan over to see the driver, who's probably wondering why his airbags didn't inflate. Then the truck shakes and is flipped onto its side as Sahjhan stands up from underneath it. "Now, this is more like it," he says.
Angel none-too-carefully drags the chair containing Linwood up the stairs, while Linwood begs Lilah to do something. Lilah pulls out her cell phone and steps away. I bet she's calling Wolfram & Hart to let them know that Linwood's going to be a little late tomorrow. Y'know, "late," like dead? That seems like the kind of shtick Lilah would enjoy. Cary insists, "You don't want to do this," but Angel snaps, "That's where you're wrong." Linwood protests that he did everything he could to help, and then Lilah rushes back over shouting, "Flag on the play!" That's one of those sports thingies I hear about sometimes. She says that Wolfram & Hart's technical team noticed a "severe bio-plasmic disturbance at Taber and National" when Angel performed the spell. So Wolfram & Hart has a whole team of people devoted to noticing every odd phenomenon in the city, and still they keep getting thwarted? Angel asks if it was Sahjhan, and Lilah replies, "Whatever it was flipped a two-ton truck like a Tonka toy." Ooo, alliteration. Angel releases his grip on Linwood's chair, causing him to tumble down the stairs until he lies at Lilah's feet in a pile of broken furniture. Heh.
Angel heads for the door just as Fred and Gunn rush in, insisting that they need to talk. Angel tries to move past Fred, but she keeps hopping in his way. Finally he scoots past her and Fred shouts, "The father will kill the son!" Angel finally stops and stares at her. Fred explains about the prophecy Wesley translated, and says that Wesley was trying to protect Connor. Gunn adds, "He was trying to protect you. Same as we're doin' right now." Angel stares at them for a minute, then turns back to the door. Fred scampers up into Angel's way again and keeps yapping until Angel grunts, "It's a lie. I'd never hurt Connor." Fred asks, "How can you know that for sure?" Angel wiggles his eyebrows like he can't believe how dumb Fred is as he says, "I'd never hurt someone I care about." There's a beat in which the other characters try to think of some diplomatic way to dispute that without getting pummeled. In the end, no one says anything, because the satisfaction of being proved right isn't worth the broken bones. Angel glares at Fred and whispers, "Now, move." Hee hee. I enjoyed that. Fred moves, and Angel leaves. Fred wants to go after Angel. Gunn says, "We can't. [If] he lays a finger on you, I'll have to kill him myself." Good luck with that, Gunn. Gunn turns and spots Lilah helping Linwood to his feet, and asks what they're doing at the Hyperion. Cary, still doing his Cassandra impression, explains, "There was kidnapping, a spell, dark magic. It's bad, kids." As Linwood and Lilah exit, Linwood grumbles, "He's gonna pay for this." "Really bad," Cary concludes. Raise your hand if you're scared of Wolfram & Hart. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Angel walks through the Hyperion's courtyard, and then Justine shoots a crossbow at him from a nearby perch. The arrow hits him in the shoulder, and Angel looks...annoyed. By now arrow wounds are about like mosquito bites to him; more of a nuisance than anything else. He dodges a second arrow, pulls the first one out, and heads for Justine. The Frog Brothers race in and do battle. For about a minute, until Angel finishes kicking them into little piles. I liked that fight, because the camera didn't get crazy and plus it's nice to see Angel just casually kick some ass. He reaches the street and then Justine punches him. Okay, so he's got no short-term memory, if he already forgot she was there. He's had a lot of blows to the head, after all. Justine tries to go for the old quip-and-stake, but Angel yanks her stake away and shoves her against the fence. He pushes the stake against her throat as he says, "I'm not your boyfriend. Find somebody else to smack you around." Then he throws her to the ground. Hee! That was a great line. Although I still don't get how Justine's relationship with Holtz became common knowledge. Actually, maybe that's why nobody noticed that Wesley was going all cuckoo -- they were all busy gossiping about Justine and Holtz. Which reminds me of the time one of our recappers learned an important lesson about gossip. No, not this kind. I'll let Jessica tell you the sordid story. Hey, you wanted crossovers? We aim to please. Justine rolls over to fend off another attack, but Angel's gone. She gets up and runs to Wesley's SUV.
Fred comes out to the courtyard, whining about how "it has to matter." Gunn chases after her, saying, "He's not thinking about --" Then they notice the various Frog Brothers, who are hurrying away as quickly as their injuries allow. Fred and Gunn rush to the gate in time to see Justine driving away as the Frog Brothers call for her to wait. Gunn recognizes the car as Wesley's, so they take off in hot pursuit. So that really is Wesley's SUV, not a rental. Guess he sold the motorcycle. And robbed a bank. Whatever.
Police are dealing with the car accident caused by Sahjhan's materialization. The truck's driver is sitting on the curb, staring into space, as Angel walks up to him. Angel's doing his cop imitation again, I guess. He gets the driver's name (Al Stokely, for those preparing trivia questions) and asks him what happened. Al explains that he hit someone, and Angel asks where the victim is. Al doesn't know, but insists, "There's no way he could have gotten up." The people who were in the car he hit are being helped near an ambulance. It looks like one guy has a neck injury. Hey, I know some lawyers they could call. Angel reassures Al that he didn't do anything wrong, but Al sighs, "It's all my fault." Angel says, "No. No it isn't." Al doesn't look terribly comforted, but Angel figures his work is done, and heads over to the wrecked truck. He spots what is presumably Sahjhan's blood on the front grill, and hurries away. That scene was kind of pointless, wasn't it?
Justine is reminiscing in the Blunderdome. Where the torches are always flaming, and drinks are free on ladies night. She looks around, remembering the fun she had with Holtz. Like the time he staked her hand to the table, and the time he attacked her in an alley, and the time he jumped on top of her. But it's mostly the hand-staking that sticks with her. So to speak. Aw. She's nuts, you know. I like that. She sits on the table and stares at it, no doubt thinking, "It was right here that he caused major damage to my tendons. So he must have cared a little."
Her reverie is interrupted when Gunn and Fred suddenly step inside. Gunn demands, "Where's Wes?" Didn't they already do this scene once this episode? Maybe they should have skipped that earlier scene, since it didn't really accomplish anything. Although Fred did get smacked around a little. Justine says, "He's not coming back. It was all lies, every bit of it. All he wanted was that kid. To punish Angel. He never cared about anything else." It might have been more amusing if it had taken a while for Gunn to figure out who she was talking about. But it doesn't, so he just repeats his question. He also mentions that Justine left Wesley's car parked "up top," which explains how they found this place. I was wondering. Fred says that they want to hear Wesley's side, although I don't think Justine cares why they're looking for Wesley. Justine says, "His side's kinda funny: he sacrificed everything he believed in to save that kid." Gunn blusters a bit, and then Justine adds, "Your friend's innocent." Fred asks if Wesley's still alive, and when Justine doesn't answer she squeals, "Where is he?" Justine blinks a lot and answers, "Heaven? Hell? I slit his throat."
Fred hauls off and slaps Justine, and Justine is polite enough to pretend to be knocked over by that, instead of just chuckling and asking, "What, is there a bee on me?" Justine tries to punch back, but Gunn tosses her away and they fight briefly before she's knocked to the floor. She's had a rough day. "Stay down!" Gunn yells. Justine looks at him thoughtfully and replies, "Um...no." Heh. She launches herself back at Gunn, who punches her a couple times and throws her down again. Okay, let's review: Justine's lost her purpose, she feels betrayed, and now she appears to be lashing out in a rather self-destructive way. So we're all clear on where things are headed, right? Maybe Linwood and Lilah should give up on the Apocalypse and just teach other people how to get through these emotional roller coasters with less damage. Justine moans, "I trusted the wrong man." There's a lot of that going around, kiddo. Gunn pulls her to her feet and shouts, "You're gonna take us to him, and he better be alive!"
Sahjhan asks, "You call that a fight?" Everyone turns around to look at Sahjhan in the doorway. He steps inside and says, "Let me show you how we used to do it." Oh boy, a live demonstration! Start with Fred, please. Sahjhan greets Justine as "one of Holtz's groupies -- you tried to cut off my head." He punches her, sending her flying across the room. Oh dear, the stop-motion-cam is back in action. Damn it. Sahjhan turns to Gunn and Fred and mentions that he "missed gravity, friction, and smashing things to pieces." He picks up a chair and, well, smashes it to pieces. "Let's start with your skulls," he suggests, forgetting that he already started with the chair.
"Or yours," Angel replies. Now it's time for everyone to look over and see Angel in the doorway. This is becoming a running gag. Is Angel going to smack everyone around and then get interrupted dramatically when Cary appears in the doorway? Sahjhan thanks Angel "for the whole mortal coil thing." Angel suggests that, in return, they should take a road trip to Quar-Toth to find the brat. Justine picks herself up and runs out the door as Sahjhan asks, "You and me, buddy cop summer release? We iron out our wacky differences and bond? Don't think so." Heh. Angel gets a little bit insistent about the idea, offering to stop at Graceland on the way, but Sahjhan claims that he could only open the portal to Quar-Toth once. If he tries again, "Whole universe could go kaplooey. Bad for me, bad for America." Hee again. I think Sahjhan's getting all the funny that used to go to Cary's lines. Fred reminds Sahjhan that it's time for him to make a big speech in which he, as the bad guy, explains every detail of his evil plot to our heroes. Sahjhan obligingly admits that he re-wrote the prophecy that Wesley translated. He says, "I flitted back and forth in time, changed the one that threatened me, polished some others. Flitted in a manly way. Just so we're clear." Sahjhan's really defensive about his masculinity, have you noticed?
This is when I started doing the, "I'm so smart, I'm so smart," dance because I'd wondered if Sahjhan wrote the prophecy. Hooray for me. Sahjhan goes on to say that he wasn't really after Angel; he was after Angel's son. Can I just say, "Hooray for me!" again? Thanks. Sahjhan explains, "It's pretty freaky the first time you see your name in a true prophecy, all carved in blood on an official scroll: 'The one sired by the vampire with a soul shall grow to manhood and kill Sahjhan.'" Carved? On a scroll? What were they making these scrolls out of? Sahjhan gloats about Wesley's helpfulness, and complains about Holtz: "If he'd just killed the damn thing while it was still in its mother, we could have avoided all of this." Angel figures that the major plot points have been satisfactorily explained, so it must be time to fight.
Angel vamps out and attacks Sahjhan, and gets thrown into a wall for his trouble. Gunn joins the fisticuffs, and doesn't fare much better. Fred helps by going to check on Gunn. How can someone who can do everything (except read Ga-shundi and shut up) be so useless? Angel and Sahjhan go on fighting, and Fred finally decides to earn her keep, so she picks up one of the torch bowls. It's a metal bowl full of flaming coals. And she picks it up. Without burning her hands. It must have Pyrex handles or something. She tosses the coals into Sahjhan's face. He falls back, then looks at her and asks, "Do I look like I need more skin problems?" I'm gonna miss him when he gets his comeuppance. Sahjhan advances on Fred, and Angel dives in and shoves her out of the way. Aw, he does care about her after all. Or else he's trying to make up for not getting to shove her around earlier. More punching and tossing and extremely annoying camera work, and Sahjhan finally bashes Angel into the pillars and throws him onto the table. Angel loses his vamp-face for reasons I don't understand. Maybe he's losing consciousness, since he doesn't move much when Sahjhan leans over and picks up a bit of the broken chair. He raises the stake over Angel and makes the fatal mistake of stopping to speechify. Sahjhan says, "I had to put your boy down. Pity, kid had a big future. I mean big." Oh, I wish he wouldn't say things like that. It's not nice to drop those anvils on Angel before staking him.
Suddenly, Justine runs back in holding the Resikhian urn Holtz had mysteriously acquired. She pulls out the, um, lid? Top? Thingy. Swirly lights pop out and surround Sahjhan, and away he goes. With a final scream, he vanishes into the urn, and Justine pops the top back in and carefully sets down the urn. I'm thinking that thing's going to shatter in an earthquake and let Sahjhan out at some suitably dramatic point. Hey, maybe I've got a streak going with the predictions. As everyone recovers from the battle, Fred asks Justine where Wesley is. She's got a one-track mind. Justine finally realizes that they're never going to stop nagging her about it, and admits that she left Wesley in the park to his apartment.
Cut to the park. Angel, Fred, and Gunn are searching. Fred walks past the bush Wesley was dragged behind, and the scuff-marks appear to be gone. Fred wonders if Justine lied to them, but Angel says he can smell the blood. Gunn notes that it's almost dawn, and that Angel needs to get inside. Angel stares over at the pink horizon and gripes, "He can't be dead." Fred says that Cary is checking the hospitals, and Gunn adds, "We'll find him."
Angel stares around Wesley's office with a remarkably dopey expression as Cary announces that he cleaned the pentagram off the floor. I'm sure the set designer is relieved. Angel tries to Learn an Important Lesson as he tells Cary that going after Sahjhan almost got Fred and Gunn killed. And getting Gunn killed would have been a shame. Cary starts to talk about a "bigger picture," and a glass. Angel warns Cary away from any "glass is half full" comments. Cary quickly swerves away from that conversational minefield and says, "This is more a glass half full of spiked blood." Er. Okay. Hey, was Cary talking about the kidnapping when he implied that Wesley was going to be very important someday? I'm just wondering. Cary reminds Angel that if the spiked blood had worked, he'd have the baby's blood on his hands. And in his stomach! "Don't I anyway?" Angel wonders. Cary reassures him, "You did everything you could with the knowledge you had. Just like Wesley." He suggests that maybe Angel can start to forgive himself if he forgives Wesley. And we all know how good Angel is at forgiving himself for his sins, right? Excellent. They're interrupted by the phone, and Cary talks to Fred for a minute and then hangs up. "They found Wesley," Angel guesses.
Cut to the hospital waiting room. Gunn and Fred greet Angel, who mutters, "He ask for me?" Gunn says Wesley "can't speak yet. Trachea's all messed up. Lost a lot of blood." Ha! He can't talk! Ha ha ha! Sure, I think the pacing of this episode could have been better, but it's just chock full of presents for me, and I appreciate that. Fred adds, "He's not completely out of the woods yet. You being here can only help." Yeah, that's what she thinks. Angel's gonna fixie-fixie Wesley, if you know what I mean. And I'm sure you don't. Angel asks if he can see Wesley, and with Fred's approval he heads over to the room.
Wesley lies, asleep or unconscious, in a hospital bed. Angel quietly shuts the door and approaches as Wesley opens his eyes. Angel speechifies that he knows about the prophecies, and he understands how difficult it must have been for Wesley. "You thought I was going to turn evil and kill my son. I didn't. It's important [that] you know that. This isn't Angelus talking, it's me, Angel. You know that, right?" Wesley closes his eyes for a moment, and then looks up with this quizzical expression that amuses me. "Good," Angel says. And then he sneers, snatches the pillow out from under Wesley's head, and proceeds to suffocate him. There were a lot of complaints about what an inefficient way this was to kill Wesley, so I feel obliged to suggest that maybe Angel didn't want to have to look at Wesley while killing him. Just a theory. But let's move on to the hilarity as Wesley flails his arms and Angel growls, "You son of a bitch, you're gonna pay for what you did! You took my son! You son of a bitch, you bastard!" Such language.
Fred and Gunn look around as a code blue is announced and several burly orderlies race into Wesley's room. Wesley's room must have some excellent sound-proofing if they can't hear all the shouting Angel's doing.
Wesley's probably glad to have his face covered as Angel lets some spittle fly out of his mouth along with the naughty words. "Did you think I'd forgive you? Never! You're gonna die, you hear me? You're gonna pay!" An orderly races in and tries to pull Angel off, but Angel tosses him away with one hand. Two more orderlies enter and grab Angel's arms. They start to drag him off as Gunn and Fred run in. I'll address another complaint, which is that a few puny humans shouldn't have been able to defeat Angel. To be fair, he wasn't fighting them, he was just trying to pull away from them. And leverage wasn't really on his side there. As he's dragged through the door, Angel keeps on shouting, "I'll kill you! You're dead! You're a dead man, Pryce!" His voice starts getting squeaky toward the end of it. Heh. Wesley stares up, gasping, and wondering if any actual doctors are going to come and check him out. If every episode from now on ends with Wesley suffering some kind of murder attempt, I'll forget everything else and declare this to be the best season ever.
time, Cordy returns, and everyone goes to a casino for some fight scenes. And then Cordy gets all glowy in a kitchen.