Previously on Angel, Merl bugged the hell out of me, Cary read minds, Gunn looked fine, George got killed, Angel got busy, and Darla left town. Why did we have to see Angel and Darla making the sign of the triple-toed marmoset in there? She's not in this episode at all. Just to hurt me, I guess. And that won't be the only pain I feel during this episode. Not by a long shot.
The screen is black as we hear Angel say, "That night still haunts me." I swear to you, I immediately began moaning in fear, because I thought we were going to see another experiment in Angel-narration à la "Redefinition." We fade up on Angel's giant head -- eek! He's talking to us: "I'm ashamed [of] how I treated you. The way I used you." He goes on like that, and then we get the punchline, which is that he's at Caritas, talking to a skeptical Merl. Merl looks around at the MoG and complains, "He's reading!" Angel admits that he "made some notes," and we see that he's holding a fistful of three-by-five cards. Merl says that "real friends don't need notes," and an exasperated Angel snaps, "We're not friends!" Heh. I'm totally on Angel's side, here. Merl starts to storm off, but Cordy tries to convince him to give Angel a chance. Meanwhile, Wesley is giving Angel the disappointed-father look and saying, "You promised you'd make an attempt." I hate to interrupt and all, but, uh, why is this happening? Based on their interaction in "Heartthrob," even Wesley isn't exactly pals with Merl. Also, Merl is a snitch. If he gets paid for his information, who cares if he gets invited to the company picnic? Who suggested this apology, and why? Phew. Sorry. I've gotta pace myself or I won't have any bile left for the rest of the episode. Merl asks Cordy, "Did you get a load of that insincere tripe he was reading?" Cordy sniffs, "I hardly think it's fair to blame it on the writing." I guess she's been reading too many interviews with Whedon. Angel asks what Merl wants, and Merl answers, "I want back the three months I spent in therapy after being upside down in a sewer! " God, he's annoying. Hey Merl, if you'd just answered his question about where Dru and Darla were gathering a crew for a demon army to attack L.A., he wouldn't have dunked you in the sewer. Just sayin'. Angel admits that whenever he asked Merl for information, Merl had it, and offers to atone by letting Merl punch him. Cordy and Wesley groan. Merl whines, "You see this, he's goading me!" Angel is being a big old jerk, spoiling for a fight, but since it's Merl, I'm kind of entertained by it. So is Gunn, who chuckles to himself by the bar. Angel and Merl keep shouting, and at some point Angel says "Merl-la-la-la-la" to taunt him, which is just silly. Hee! Merl finally snaps, picks a bottle up off the bar, and smashes it on Angel's head. Or tries to. The bottle explodes in a blaze of white light, and Merl is tossed back. He whines, "You did that on purpose." Angel smirks and turns his back so that we can't see him giggle to himself, but you know that's what he's doing. Cary tells Merl, "I'm sure that Angel just forgot for the moment that any demon violence is impossible in Caritas." Any what, now?
I said I was going to pace myself here, but hang on. "Demon violence"? I had the impression that no violence of any kind was permitted in Caritas. Because making it impossible for demons to commit violent acts, while still allowing that option to humans, seems likely to lead to the sort of situation that...we'll see in the third act of this show. Ah. How very stupid. Angel looks innocent and insists he forgot, and it's probably wrong that I like him when he's a jerk, yet don't like him when he's all sensitive and crap. In real life, I don't like people who pick fights, so I'm thinking it's just because it's nice to see some other side to his character. Anyway, Merl rants that he's done with Angel and with the MoG. His voice goes to some new level beyond nasal as he wheezes, "I never wanna see any of you ever again!" He turns for the door, stops, looks around, and asks who's going to give him a ride home. Sigh.
Poor, poor Gunn pulls his truck to a stop. Merl hops out and starts to thank Gunn, but the truck pulls away before he can finish the sentence. Gunn and I are kindred spirits.
Merl enters his...uh, place. Sewer hole or abandoned building or whatever it is. He picks up what looks like a stack of mail, and starts sorting through it, which raises so many questions in my mind. How does he get mail? And, since he seems to live alone, why is he sorting through it as if he hasn't seen it before? I mean, how'd it get on the table if he wasn't the one to bring it in? Mysterious. Suddenly, he looks up at the camera in surprise. "Hey, I didn't give you permission to shoot a cheesy television show in my apartment," he fails to say. Instead, he just says "no" a few times and gasps and backs up toward the door. He throws his arms up, knocking the obligatory single light bulb so that it swings back and forth, creating strange shadows in a way that was probably creepy back when Hitchcock did it forty years ago. There's a blipvert of shadows and splattering goo, and then there are credits. When I realized that Merl was really, truly dead, I thought this might be the best episode ever. I mention that just to point out that, while I'm normally nigh-omniscient, occasionally I can be the wrongest person there ever was.
We come back to an extended "War Zone" blurtastic blipvert, so that anyone who came in late knows that Gunn's sister Alonna was vamped and he killed her. Apparently some people think that the time-honored "blur the edges of the screen" effect is no longer a hip way to tell us it's a dream sequence, so they've invented a new ultra-gauzy blurred effect. It gives me a headache. Gunn wakes up, but manages to avoid the cliché of waking up shouting in fear. Because he's too cool for that. Gunn's room is pretty bare: bed, nightstand, gray walls. Although he does have what appears to be a decorative picture of a motorcycle pinned to the wall. His beeper starts, uh, beeping. Gunn looks sad. Aw.
The swinging light bulb from the teaser is now covered in yuck. Angel is sifting through the rubble that was Merl's as Gunn arrives. Gunn says that Cordelia told him where Angel was, then points to something we can't see and asks, "What is that?" Angel explains, "That's Merl." Gunn asks where the rest of Merl is, and Angel silently points at the slime-covered light bulb, a corner of the room, and a pile of furniture. Heh. Angel explains, "I stopped by this morning, thought I'd give 'sincere' one more shot. I even brought donuts, but this is what I found." So what happened to the donuts? Did Angel eat them all while sifting for bits of Merl's remains? That's so callous. But it was Merl, so it's okay. Maybe he dunked the donuts in Merl. Hee hee hee -- ew. Wesley wanders out with Merl's address book, among other things. Wesley gasps, "Gunn, you're here," like that's a big shock. He asks whether Gunn noticed anything unusual while dropping off Merl the night before. Gunn says he didn't, and then stares around for a moment before asking what they're doing. Wesley, confused, answers that they're examining the crime scene, and Gunn clarifies that he wondered why. "Is this really the kind of thing we should be spending our time on? I mean, he was what he was, right?" Angel looks irate and asks, "What's that supposed to mean?" Gunn says it didn't mean anything, but adds, "Somebody killed a demon. Hello, we do that every day." Point. Wesley says that Merl was harmless, and Gunn basically shrugs. Angel snippily asks whether Gunn's annoyed because he'd rather be doing something else, since it took two hours for him to respond to the page. It's taken them two hours to sort through Merl's place? Whatever. I think it's worth noting that we never ever get the slightest clue as to why Gunn took so long to reply to the page. And since that's the only hint of some ongoing tension between Gunn and the rest of them, I think that's pretty damn weak. Anyway, Gunn growls, "Excuse me, but did somebody put you back in charge? If they did, they forgot to tell me about it." Wesley steps between the inexplicable tension and tells Gunn that if he doesn't care about Merl's death, that's fine, and he can go home. Gunn leaves. Angel says that now he'll finally have to get to know Merl, to find out who killed him. Except he won't, so I don't know why that line was left in.
Gunn parks his truck and wanders into a graffitti-ed warehouse. A guy wanders out and whirls a katana around; they start fighting, and I get up to fix myself a drink because I just know they'll turn out to be friends. Gunn beats up the other guy, and as I sit down with my drink, another group enters the room. One kid pulls a crossbow up to Gunn's head and says, "This is a situation you might wanna rethink." Then I think, oh, maybe they aren't friends. But then Rondell wanders out and it turns out that I was right the first time. He and Gunn share a manly back-slapping hug, and then they chat for a minute until the crossbow guy speaks up. Rondell introduces Crossbow Guy as Gio, who says that Gunn is part of the reason he came to L.A. from Miami. Gio, who's signifying all over the place, asks, "Why is it that places like L.A. and Miami bring out the teeth, you suppose? I mean, you would think that the vamps would want to hang in less sunny climes." Gio seems to be preparing material for the vampire-hunting standup-comedy circuit. Gunn chuckles in agreement, and then Gio drops his friendly grin and says, "Maybe we can ask your boss why that is." Gunn tenses up, and Rondell tells Gio to drop it. Which he does for about five seconds, before basically repeating the same observation that it sure is ironic that Gunn the vamp-killer is working with a vampire. We got it the first time. Rondell calmly points out that Gio is supposed to be on guard or something. Gio barks a few more vaguely hostile things as he leaves. I'm sure he fits in real well with the Found Boys, because a tightly knit group of what are, effectively, soldiers, would naturally welcome a trouble-making guy who can't follow orders. Gunn glares at empty space, because he's angsty. I miss the engaging characters of "Happy Anniversary."
At the Hyperion, Angel and Cordy are discussing Fred, who's out in the courtyard. Opinions vary on what exactly Angel's shiny pants are made of: I'm guessed waxed leather. Cordy thinks Fred needs some time alone, Angel thinks she's had more than enough time alone, and then we get Fred's back story. Again. This is all leading up to the fact that Angel wants Cordy to talk to Fred. Cordy doesn't want to. Strangely, she doesn't ask why Angel doesn't talk to Fred his own damn self, which would allow Angel to acknowledge that Fred looks at him with puppy-dog eyes. Cordy explains that she likes Fred, as we cut to a shot of Fred outside: "She's sweet and adorable and...seems to be laughing at something that shrub just said." She does, too. Cordy finally admits that she just doesn't "get" Fred. Angel says he only wants Cordy to talk to Fred, and then he threatens to unleash his giant, terrifying grin, which cows Cordy into submission. But not immediately. Instead, she hands Angel the "enemies of Merl" list. Cordy heads into the office, where Wesley is being useless. A moment later Angel storms in, asking, "Why is my name at the top of this list?" Cordy explains, "Uh, 'A.'" Heh. Somebody skim down to "S" and see if my name is there. It should be. Angel says he wasn't Merl's enemy, and points out that he found the body. Or the bits of it, at least. Cordy notes, "The one time you pay Merl a social visit, and he ends up dead." Wesley peruses the list, and notes that many of the names are familiar. Cordy points out, "Half of them weren't enemies of Merl until we made him snitch on them." They "made" Merl do that in the sense of offering Merl money for information, I can't help noting. Meanwhile, Angel grumps, "Oh, sure, yeah, I went dark and I killed Merl." Wesley and Cordy just look at Angel's pants. I think. Maybe the director could have made that more clear if, y'know, and this is just a suggestion, Angel was actually in the shot. Because neither Johanna nor I knew what was going on when we watched this the first time. Wesley suggests they start with the bottom of the list. I'll expect a knock on my door any minute now. Angel follows Wesley out, then suddenly spins and demands, "If I had killed Merl, would I have...brought donuts?" I think it's important to notice how Angel's attitude goes from goofy to creepy during this episode based solely on whether Gunn is also in the scene. Because Angel's the comic relief and, supposedly, the reason for Gunn's ambivalence, and those things don't really mesh well. I can't help wondering whether anyone thought Angel was manic-depressive based on this episode.
We whoosh back to Gunn and Rondell, who are chatting outside the warehouse. Gunn complains about being considered a "vamp-lover." Rondell tries to reassure him, and Gunn asks whether Rondell thinks that Gunn turned his back on his friends. I apologize for how complicated that sentence is. Rondell says, "I ain't even seen your back in months, bro." He said it nicely and all, but ouch. Rondell says he hasn't heard from Gunn since George died, adding, "Some of us were even starting to wonder if you were still in this world." Gunn says he didn't plan to disappear, adding, "I guess after George..." Rondell interrupts, "It was Alonna, man. Things, they were never the same after Alonna." Gunn wonders how he could help the Found Boys when he couldn't protect his sister. Rondell insists, "There are people alive today because of something you started." Gunn says, "Nah, man. Something we started." They hug again. For a while. Hm.
Wesley and Angel stroll down the hall of an apartment building, looking for a bookie to whom Merl owed money. Angel asks whether the bookie was a demon or a human, and Wesley isn't sure. They find the apartment, and Angel decides to find out by kicking down the door and storming inside. Actually, that would tell them whether the resident was a demon or dead. Or, as it turns out in this case, both. Once again, there's green goo all over the smashed furniture. Angel says that, when they find whatever is killing the demons, they'll need Gunn for help. They agree that whatever is responsible is big, powerful, and pissed off.
We cut to the sewer tunnels, where we hear a slurpy inhuman noise as a bulky creature shambles into the frame. I'm distracted when my new Misdirection-Based-Comedy Alarm suddenly goes off. That thing is loud. I usually pull the batteries out before watching Angel. A light abruptly illuminates the large, green, bumpy demon, who turns around. It turns out to have a face like Yoda, and the creepy noise is a result of the non-product-placed giant cup o' soda it's slurping. It looks back toward the light and nervously lisps, "Hello? Who's there, please?" A bunch of silhouetted guys suddenly rush down the tunnel. The demon drops its cup and tries to run, but is caught at a dead end. Where the heck was it going if the tunnel ends in a grating? We get blipverty flashes of senseless violence, and blood splashes onto the dropped plastic cup. That was a bit much. For the benefit of the one person in the audience who really didn't have a clue as to who was killing demons, we suddenly focus on Gio, holding his crossbow. Someone calls, "Smoke him, Gio!" Gio shoots. I miss the white-knuckle tension of "Sense & Sensitivity."
Wesley is diligently bagging evidence at the bookie's apartment. When did this become C.S.I.? He uses tweezers to pull a broken arrowhead out of the wall, and bags it. Gunn strolls in and says he got their page, then asks where Angel is. Wesley says that Angel is checking something, and starts to give Gunn the details about the victim. Gunn wipes up a bit of goo and confirms that the bookie was a demon. He asks, "Who are we supposed to be working for, anyway? Did the Powers send us here? Did Cordy get a vision?" Wesley admits that TPTB don't seem to be concerned about the matter, but adds, "Things are not always so simple as [sic] just going out and slaying the big bad ugly. There are, in this world, shades of gray." Gunn snaps, "What I don't get is why we are suddenly playing clean-up crew to a bunch of low-life demons!" Wesley says that they found six other victims during the commercial break. Efficient work. Oh, fine, it's the day now. Let me have my fun. Gunn says, "So we find this killing machine. What then? We gonna stop it, or thank it?" Wesley, dumbfounded as usual, replies, "I don't know." Wesley says that the bookie was "fully assimilated, no history of violence, no threat to anyone." He goes on to say that at least two of the other victims were "irredeemably evil," and concludes that whatever is responsible for the murders isn't looking for bad guys to kill, it's just attacking demons at random. Angel arrives to report that "A Yarbnie was eviscerated in the sewer near Century City." That's almost a tongue-twister. I bet there are some good outtakes because of that line. Meanwhile, Gunn notices the bagged arrowhead in a pile of evidence, and picks it up. Wesley rushes to make notes, and tells Gunn that Yarbnie demons are "utterly nonviolent." Angel lurks in the doorway, and I thought for sure that he'd noticed Gunn pocketing the arrowhead, but apparently not. Gunn not-at-all- suspiciously gets up and casually suggests that he should see whether there's any word about the attacks on the street.
Gunn is not on the street at all, however, but has in fact gone back to the Neverneverland warehouse. He shows the arrowhead to Rondell, says he knows it's from the crossbow Gio appropriated, and adds, "I just came here to give you a heads-up, all right? I think you got a rogue on your crew." Rondell doesn't seem concerned, and Gunn insists, "This ain't the way we do things down here!" Rondell finally says that Gio isn't a rogue: "He found the place, but we was [sic] all there." That might have been somewhat startling if we didn't already know that Gio was with others when he killed the Yarbnie. I truly don't understand why the Mutant Enemy wiz-kids keep telling stories where the audience knows more than the characters do. If you do that to increase tension, or create dramatic irony, that's fine. But it seems like they're doing it to decrease tension and ensure that there will be as few surprises as possible. I've never seen writers put such effort into sabotaging their own stories. I just don't get it. Fine, so Rondell justifies the attack by noting that the victim wasn't human. Gunn asks whether it had attacked anyone, and Rondell says that they didn't give it a chance to hurt anyone. Gunn is troubled by this, but not so troubled that he actually feels the need to explain to Rondell that not all demons are necessarily evil and dangerous. It's not really Rondell's fault -- maybe he's only seen the first season or two of Buffy, before things got quite so complicated. Gunn spots some of the Found Boys handing out guns. Like, submachine guns, I think. They got a care package from Charlton Heston! That's sweet. Gunn seems surprised by the guns, and Rondell explains, "You can never be too careful." He asks, "You want to come out with us tonight? Gio says he found a nest or somethin'." Gunn says he's busy. Rondell got shot down. Not literally. Gunn sounds depressed. I am too, but that's because I'm watching this for the second time. As Gunn turns to leave, he runs into Gio, who's wearing a black cape, a black hat, an eyepatch, a hook, a handlebar moustache, and a huge necklace with a gigantic gold charm that says "I'm the bad guy!" Or maybe it just seems that way. Gio taunts Gunn and giggles away. I miss the subtle characterization of "Belonging."
So...how did the Found Boys manage to lay their hands on a giant box of guns? Not to mention the ammunition? Since when do they have money? Remember how they were living on donated food, and who could forget Gunn's hubcap-axe? It seems like they've found some financial backing since then. Speaking of the hubcap-axe, whatever did happen to Gunn's camp? Now that would have been an interesting story. If Gunn abandoned his mysterious camp to stick with Angel, I'd have a lot more sympathy for the betrayal the Found Boys seem to feel, and the whole conflict might not feel so very, very black and white. And since bullets don't kill vampires, why would they bother investing in guns when they could buy, oh, I don't know, food? Or a better hang-out? Or something practical. There could be an interesting story in the descent of the Found Boys, how they gradually expanded their mission, maybe started collecting "protection money" that actually bought some protection, then decided that gangs were just as bad as vampires and so changed their weaponry, and then basically became a gang themselves. Of course, that might be a thoughtful story that explored the rather timely problem of how you fight evil without being corrupted by it, and it wouldn't have a simple message that the audience could be bludgeoned with, so naturally, we won't be seeing that here.
Wesley's putting on his research hat back at the Hyperion. He realizes that one of his numbered bags of evidence is missing. While he natters on about that, Fred descends the stairs while reading a book. She's talented that way. My mom used to yell at me when I did that. Angel hops up and nudges Cordelia as Fred heads out to the courtyard. Wesley keeps muttering about his stupid evidence, but no one cares.
Fred sits down outside as Cordelia wanders out to join her. Cordy, Cordy, Cordy, what are you wearing? A weird raggedy princess-seamed shirt that seems to have experienced a tragic mishap in the dip-dyeing process, a mini-skirt, hose, and knee-high boots. And of course, the big ol' bangle earrings. Is she working part-time as a go-go dancer now? Cordy says hi, Fred shrieks in surprise, and there's some more "amusing" business that I'll skip. Cordy tells Fred, "Angel wants you to get out." Fred, naturally, misunderstands, and given Cordy's delivery, who can blame her? I've got bigger things than this to bitch about, though, so I'll move on. Fred hurries off to start packing, and Cordy calls her back and explains that Angel just wants her to get out into the "real world" a little more. Fred is only slightly relieved, and Cordy finally bites the bullet and invites Fred to go out with her. Fred stammers out her agreement, saying that if she's with Cordy, she'd be safe. She enthuses, "Nobody would even bother to look at me twice with you around!" Aw, Fred. Cordy, caught up in the moment, agrees, and then corrects herself and insists that people will notice Fred. Fred doesn't seem happy about that, but Cordy insists that Fred will be on stage in a spotlight, just so we're all clear that they're going to Caritas. Excellent idea, Cordy. Take Fred to the demon hangout. Fred loves the demons! Well, Cordy's not supposed to be sensitive.
Gunn sits in his truck on a dark, deserted street. Guess he's picked up some brooding tips from Angel. He looks at the arrowhead again, then drives off into a blipvert of Merl-bits, Rondell, Merl-bits, Gio, and Merl-bits. I sense a theme. I appreciate the fact that Gunn's truck still has the bolts, or whatever, they used to fasten large caliber stakes to it way back when. At this point continuity is all I have left to enjoy.
Gunn arrives in the lobby of the Hyperion. There are piles of papers all over the front desk and the round-sofa thing. Would someone give these people a table? Angel wanders out, and Gunn non-subtly tries to find out how much Angel and Wesley know. Angel says the attacks remind him of things he's seen before: "The seeming randomness of it, the chaos...there's a larger purpose behind every move." Gunn asks what that purpose is, and Angel says, "To have fun." My bet is that originally Angel clarifies that when he says he's seen this before, he meant he'd done it before, in his evil days. I sure hope so, because that would have given some hint at a reason for Gunn's distrust of Angel, as well as explaining why Angel acts slightly creepy during this scene. Angel finally asks Gunn whether anything's wrong, and Gunn says he just wants to see the boss. He means Wesley, by the way. "Know where he's at?" Gunn asks.
At Caritas, Fred is singing "Crazy" while Wesley, Cordy, Cary, and the usual gang of demons look on. Cordy grins and tells Wesley, "I swear to God, she picked out the song herself." Gunn enters the place, spots Fred, and smiles. Then he sees Wesley and Cordy, and stops smiling. Wasn't he looking for Wesley? Okay, he's nervous, fine. He turns to face the bar and runs into Cary. Gunn doesn't want Cary to read his mind, or aura, or whatever it is that Cary does when he sometimes needs people to sing and sometimes he doesn't, and no matter how many times I rewrite this sentence it keeps running away from me, sorry. Um. Gunn tells Cary not to do what Cary's doing. Cary keeps right on staring. Maybe it's not the mind-reading -- maybe Gunn just doesn't like being stared at. I can understand that. Cary finally says, "I wouldn't, but sweetie, you're a billboard." Gunn turns to face Wesley, and Cary says, "[Wesley] came in tonight with some questions. Looks to me like you've got the answers." Now, if you decide that Cary's just a good reader of body language and knows when to bluff, this scene is a lot cooler. After all, Cary never says anything specific about Gunn's problem. I'd like to think that's intentional, because I really wanted to like something about this episode. Sigh. Cary asks Gunn, "You wanna talk about it?" Gunn replies, "Do I gotta sing?" And that's when bullets start flying.
A demon is walking past the stage and is suddenly knocked down in, to coin a phrase, a hail of gunfire. Some slime splashes out onto Fred's face, and she falls off her stool. Needless to say, she also stops singing. And yet I mentioned it anyway. Found Boys storm inside, and remember that originally there were metal detectors by the door, before the writers decided that it was actually magic that made violence impossible? Not that metal detectors would have stopped this, but they could have at least gone off. Everyone dives behind the bar or tables or just falls down because they're dead. Then there's some senseless violence for a few minutes. And when I say senseless, I mean that one guy takes aim at all of the bottles behind the bar, in the ultimate cliché. Gio walks in, puts his shotgun on his shoulder, and shouts, "Party!"
After the commercials, the Found Boys are still shooting around at random while Cary moans, "My club!" Fred stands up on the stage and does a quick Carrie impression, only with green blood, and then Wesley hops up and carries her to the table behind which he and Cordy are cowering. Cordy says she thought "demon violence was impossible here," so of course Wesley has to explain that their attackers aren't demons. Can I say again how utterly stupid that retcon is? Only "demon violence" is prevented? So then, if I'm a demon and I want to kill someone (and there are some who'd argue that's the case), all I have to do is hire a human being to go into Caritas with me and kill anyone I want. Stupid. One of the Found Boys has a dart gun or something that fires stakes, which he uses to dust a vampire. Rondell seems ready to call it a day, and prepares to lead the Found Boys out, but Gio has other ideas. He tells Rondell, "You're liable to miss out on some of the more interesting things in life," and then calls for Gunn. Gunn stands up from behind the bar. Rondell wonders why Gunn is there, and Gio says, "Tell him how you been rolling up in here for months, tossing back drinks with your demon buddies." Rondell doesn't believe it; Gio insists that it's true; Gunn tells Rondell to go; Rondell says he'd like some answers. They all talk a lot, don't they? Wesley decides that this is a good time to complicate the situation even more, so he stands up and says, "Yes, I think we all would." Cary stands up, too, and a Found Boy immediately grabs him. Gunn pulls Cary away and steps in front of him. A few demons are still alive: one mutters "Oh God, oh God, oh God." Wesley, always quick on the uptake, says, "They killed Merl and the others." He stares at Gunn and adds, "You knew." Gunn says that he was going to tell Wesley, but he was trying to work it out. Rondell wants Gunn to move out of the way so that he can kill Cary, but Gunn won't. He says, "You lost the mission, bro. What you been doin', man, this ain't right. None of this is right. This is not what we're about." And that's the closest anyone ever comes to explaining to Rondell why what he's doing is wrong. Rondell says, "We're protecting our own." Wesley says it isn't protecting anyone to "break into people's homes." Rondell turns his gun on Wesley, and Cordy jumps up in protest. I wait for Fred to pop out in front of Cordy, and then for Angel to hurry in and take his place in front of Fred. Just line up in front of the guns, everybody. And then do a dance number!
Wesley reminds Rondell that he's been shot before, and it happened because he was trying to help Rondell. Gunn says this is between him and Rondell, tosses his keys toward Wesley, and tells the rest of the MoG to leave. He tells Rondell, "We used to face death because we had to. Now you go chasin' it down, man, for the fun of it." So as far as Rondell's concerned, the problem is that he's enjoying the fights. Which Angel certainly does. Or else it's that he has a death wish. Like Gunn used to, according to Cordy. Rondell says that only Cordelia can leave. Cordy says that she won't leave without Fred, and protectively puts an arm around Fred. Some Found Boys pull Fred away and shove her back to Wesley. Rondell explains that everyone else can leave if Cordy sends Angel to them. "Then we'll see who lost the mission," he tells Gunn. Cordy sidles out. The "Oh God," demon starts up again, and another demon nearby says, "Shut up. He ain't listening." Cheese. Anybody else think it's a little peculiar that demons would be muttering pleas to God in the first place?
Angel hurries down the stairs at the Hyperion. Cordy tells him, "You have to think of a better plan; this is a bad plan." Angel says that he has no choice, and hands Cordy a piece of paper, telling her to go to the address on it and talk to the Transuding Furies. Not to be confused the other Furies, the traditional vengeance-and- liver-ripping ones. Angel explains that Cary "hires them monthly to cast a sanctorium spell on Caritas." If they lift the spell, Angel can fight. Cordy doesn't think that Angel will be able to fight all the Found Boys. Angel doesn't care, and heads for the door.
Cordy:What if they won't lift the spell?
Angel: They'll lift the spell. Just tell them that it's for...me.
Cordy:For you? You know them?
Angel:I did.
Cordy: And they're gonna remember you?
Angel:They should.
Cordy:They better!
Cordy calls Angel back and says, "I told her she'd be safe with me." Angel says he knows, and heads out.
Gio's singing "Wind Beneath My Wings" while everyone looks uncomfortable. I wonder if Gio is crazy or something. I'm not sure. But I'm going to pay close attention and see if he start behaving erratically. Wesley says that they have to do something: "If Angel walks in here, they'll kill him." Gunn reassuringly replies, "No. They won't. They're gonna make me do it." Gio gets annoyed by feedback, walks off the stage, and fires his shotgun at a speaker. I get the impression that he's crazy and violent and stuff. I miss the moral ambiguity of "I Fall to Pieces." Fred sniffles at the senseless murder of a tweeter. Since it's too late for Cary to stand nobly between the shotgun and the speaker, he settles for saying, "Miami." He tells Gio, "I know why you left [Miami]. Why you ran. You couldn't stay there, could you? After what you did. She trusted you." Cary goes on like that until Gio swings the shotgun into Cary's face. Cary turns to look at Gio again with a bloody lip. Before you start thinking there will be a revelation of some kind: it is never explained who trusted Gio, or what the terrible thing he did was. Or why Cary gives him such a significant look. Plenty of theories about it, but nothing in the story to confirm any of them.
Another demon suddenly makes a break for the door, but he's caught and shoved against a wall. Gio shouts, "I told you to watch the door!" which doesn't make much sense, since no one entered, and if I were watching the door I'd assume my job was to keep people out, not to somehow prevent captives from running for the exit. Plus, they still stopped him. Oh, sorry, I almost forgot that Gio is crazy. In all the what's-passing- for-excitement, Gunn jumps up, clobbers Gio, and takes his shotgun. Gio mocks Gunn for trying to save the demon, saying, "It's a baby killer, is what that is. I've seen plenty of 'em in Florida." He smiles and asks the demon, "You like to eat babies, don't you?" Getting a line like that probably made the part worthwhile. The demon answers by telling the Found Boys to go ahead and kill him. Then Gio talks for a long, long while, and time slows to a crawl. Then time slows down to a slither. Then time can't even manage to ooze, and just lays in a pathetic lifeless puddle. Gio speculates that, deep down, Gunn wants to be a vampire. Gunn tells Gio to shut up, because Gio's voice is waking up some of the demons who have just decided to take a nap until the scene ends. The baby-eating demon starts muttering in the background about, well, eating babies. He keeps going on about gobbling up the kiddies while Gio just won't. Stop. Talking. By now, Gio is saying that maybe Gunn let Alonna get vamped: "You thinkin' that finally she was gonna give it up to you? Was that the plan?...And when she said no, that's when you stuck it to her!" Gunn finally shouts, "I said, shut up!" and fires, not at Gio, but at the baby-eating demon. Off-screen, Angel says, "Nice shot." Then we zoom in on him as he asks Gunn, "Am I ?"
Rondell hands Gunn a stake and says that this is Gunn's chance to prove "that this thing ain't no friend to you." Rondell fails to let the other humans go, even though he said he'd do just that if Angel showed up. Nobody mentions that. Wesley interrupts to repeatedly assert that Angel has a soul. Gio sniffs, "You think that makes him the same as us?" Wesley says it makes Angel better -- "better than [Gio], anyway." Huh? I don't think having a soul makes Angel better than Gio. Having a character that isn't one-dimensional does. Wesley says, "When [Angel] did his pleasure-killing, he had no soul. You can make no such claim." I don't think admitting that Angel ever enjoyed a good murder spree is likely to help right now. Gunn and Angel stare at each other for a while. Angel says, "Hey Charles, let me make it simple for you." He vamps out and adds, "Take a look. This is what I am. Live with it, or don't, but make a damn choice." Well, if I understand the situation, it's Angel who won't be living with it. Gunn just keeps on staring.
We whoosh over to a high-rise, where Cordy is having tea with the Transuding Furies. Who turn out to be three chicks in pink gowns who float around serving tea, or something. Cordy confirms that they know Angel, and they chorus, "Mmm, Angel." Oh, dear me. Cordy asks them to undo the anti-violence spell, but the ladies seem to have concerns about doing so. When they talk, they split the sentence up so that everyone gets a turn. I'm having flashbacks to sorority girls I met in college. Cordy says, "If you don't, Angel will die," which leads to another "Mmm, Angel."
Back at Caritas, Gunn drops the stake to the floor. He helpfully explains to Rondell, "You don't know nothin'." Ah. Socratic debate. Angel de-vamps as Gunn continues, "You think I won't kill him because he's my friend? That ain't why. Truth is, he can never be my friend, 'cause on account [sic] of what he is." Rondell, hurt, asks whether Gunn is choosing Angel over him. His choice. Changed. Everything! Gunn repeats that Angel's got the mission, and the Found Boys don't. Whatever the hell that means. Gio pulls the crossbow out and says, "A monster-lover ain't no better than a monster. And I kill monsters." He announces that the new rule is that the humans can leave if one of them kills Angel. Or maybe he'll only let go whoever kills Angel. I mean, the way he says it, it kinda sounds like for any of the humans to leave, each of them, in turn, must kill Angel, but I'm pretty sure there's a limit on how many times Angel can be killed. Anyway. "Who wants to live?" Gio asks. Fred finally stands up and apologetically explains that she doesn't want to die.
Cordy asks what she can do to convince the Pinkly Ones to lift the spell. She offers to pay, but they tell her that it's not a debt she can pay. "Only Angel is equipped to make good on this debt." Cordy says that Angel doesn't seem to have a knack for smart investments, and is he ever going to tell her about the piles of money he must have? Then Cordy has an unpleasant thought, and says, "When you say 'equipped,' that isn't what you mean, is it?" Time for another "Mmm, Angel." Let's all join Cordy in her hearty "Ew."
Fred gets an assist from Gio as she levels the crossbow at Angel. Gunn's standing just in front of and to the right of Angel, and if I were him, I'd scoot out of the line of fire because I'm thinking Fred's aim might not be too good. Fred apologizes again, Angel says he understands. Gio reminds her to aim for Angel's heart. Fred nods, then spins and points the crossbow at Gio, saying, "I thought I might just shoot you in the throat instead." Gio, in addition to being crazy and nonsensical, is pretty dumb. Fred gets a fun little speech about the grievous bodily harm she might inflict, explaining, "There's a better than fair chance I'll sever your vocal cords, and you won't even be able to scream, but you'll want to when the blood loss to your brain results in a cerebral-vascular event." The great thing about her delivery is that it's breathless and scared, not threatening. She blinks, and clarifies, "That's a stroke. I wasn't trying to sound snooty." Angel tells Fred that it's okay, which it really isn't, and instructs her to point the crossbow back at him. Uh. Why? This seems like a much better situation. If it were anyone else, when Fred spun around, the rest of them would have been, y'know, action guys. Is taking a weapon away from someone considered violence? Even if it is, nothing was stopping Wesley and Gunn from taking advantage of Fred's unsurprising behavior. Except the fact that they're all acting like complete idiots. Angel keeps insisting that Fred aim at him, and then Gio grabs the crossbow and shoves Fred away. Good job, Angel! Distract Fred so the crazy man can take his weapon back. Angel sure is lucky that, at just that moment, there's a sparkly flash of special effects to signify that the spell has been lifted. Spiffy. I love it when the good guys win because they're just damn lucky. Feh. Anyway, Angel looks up and says "Thank you, ladies. I owe you one," because there's always time for quipping. The best part is that Wesley and Gunn remain still until Angel's said his line. The second-best part is that they don't even know that Cordy was off trying to get the spell lifted, so frankly it's amazing that they somehow know that the magical flash means "time to fight." So, there's one of those fighting things that happens. I miss the poignant subtlety of "Hero."
We hear Gio shout, "It's ten against three!" But we see Wesley escorting Fred safely out, so it's more like ten against two. Wait, no, it's nine against two, because Gio is just shouting and not actually fighting. Needless to say, nobody is using their guns. It's battle of the network morons. Gio keeps on shouting that L.A. sucks and he's going back to Florida. The other Found Boys stop fighting, turn to him, and say, "Aw, we'll miss your infectious high spirits!" Then they all sing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow," and everyone hugs and makes up, and then it turns out that it was all just a bad dream Cary had after one too many Sea Breezes. Oh, I wish that were true. Okay, what really happens is that Cary looks up and sees that the "Oh God" demon is still sitting behind Gio. The demon's head splits down the middle, opens, and a honkin' big CGI monster pops out. It's pretty cool, too. It rears up so that we can all realize what an unexpectedly high ceiling Caritas has, and then leans down and bites Gio's head off. Rondell immediately starts shooting at the new beastie, and we hear the kerthump of it collapsing. Doesn't it seem like maybe this would just confirm the idea that even innocent-looking demons are dangerous and should be put down? Which kind of contradicts the message we're supposed to be getting? Is it just me?
Blipvert. Fred aiming at Gio. Action Angel. Action Gunn. Hmm. Rondell shooting at the "Oh God" demon, without the CGI effect. Rondell hitting the demon, which explodes into a shower of sparks. Huh. Guess that effect didn't work out as well as they wanted.
Outside Caritas, Wesley helps Fred into a cab. He looks back to see Gunn talking to Rondell while the other Found Boys watch. We can't hear them, but according to the closed captions, Rondell says, "All right," and Gunn says, "Be well." Rondell and the Found Boys stroll off, and Gunn walks over to Wesley. He says that the Found Boys "won't be crossing Venice Boulevard any time soon." The hell? Gunn just told them to keep their rampaging and murders out of his part of town, I guess. My brain hurts from trying to make sense of any of this. And now I've gotta deal with Wesley. Swell. Wesley says that it's hard to deal with divided loyalties: "Whatever choice we do end up making, we end up feeling as though we've betrayed someone." He'd know. Hey, I meant it sincerely: he'd know. Having reached out to Gunn, Wesley is now ready to do a little tapdance on the bond they've developed. He says: "If you ever withhold information or attempt to subvert me again, I will fire you. I can't have any one member of this team compromising the safety of the group. No matter who it is. If you do it again, you will be dismissed, bag and baggage, out of a job, onto the streets, handed a pink slip, collecting unemployment, downsized, given the boot, canned, given the sack, axed, let go, discharged, given your walking papers." Johanna and I might have embellished that a little. With that, Wesley gets into the cab and rides away. I think dealing with Wesley's speech is going to take me a separate paragraph.
I've said some of this on the forums already, but I'd sure hate for anybody to miss my words of wisdom, plus I can't turn down an opportunity to shred Wesley. Okay, Gunn wasn't so much hired. He started helping Angel, and then Cordy nagged Angel into paying Gunn for his assistance. Wesley's "the boss" because of the big split last season, and a pretty good case could be made that Wesley is the boss only because he actually cares who the boss is. It's kind of an honorary title. Now, Wesley started well, by sympathizing with Gunn's extraordinarily contrived dilemma, and then he turned it into a business meeting. First, the "subvert me" part? Way to make it all about you, Wesley. Subvert Wesley? What is there to subvert? Moving on. They're not in this for the money, as Gunn's speech made clear, plus Gunn already started one evil-fighting team, so he could certainly do it again if he wanted. If Wesley had said that he couldn't trust Gunn, that might have stung. If Wesley had said that Gunn should have come to him in the first place, so they could work this out without so many people dying, that might have guilted him. For that matter, if Wesley had asked why Gunn hadn't trusted him enough to tell him what was happening, that might have actually been moving. But he did none of those things. So, I'd just like to say, for the record, right here: Wesley is a fucking asshole. Ah, that felt good. I would try to believe that Wesley's assholishness will be reflected in upcoming episodes, and that eventually someone will smack him upside the head with a two-by-four, but right now I'm a little worried that the personal rifts between characters will be spackled over with a trip to another dimension or something similarly ridiculous. Heavy, heavy sigh.
So. Angel wanders out, and Gunn turns to him. Gunn tells Angel that he only said what he did in Caritas as an attempt to stall. Even though he didn't know why he was stalling for time, because he didn't know about the Kindly Ones, and I don't know why I bother. Gunn says, "It doesn't mean I meant any of it." Angel says that Gunn meant every word, but it's okay. Oh, whatever. If this episode had happened a year ago, the tension over Angel's demonic side would have been understandable. At this point, out of the blue, it just isn't. Gunn says he can't help it: "It doesn't mean I don't want to work with you. It doesn't mean that I don't like you. Maybe someday....I don't know." Angel says, "I got time." He turns down the alley, and Gunn calls him back to say, "I think I proved that you could trust me. When I could have killed you and I didn't." See, again, yes, but until this episode, we had no reason to think that Angel didn't trust Gunn. So, what the hell? Angel, weighted by the burden of being a completely different person for this scene, replies, "You'll prove I can trust you when the day comes that you have to kill me, and you do." He turns and walks away, wondering where the hell he parked his car. Gunn turns to call a cab so that he can reclaim his truck from Cordy. Does this mean that Buffy is the only person in the whole world that Angel trusts? Because if he's limiting it to people who have tried to kill him when he needed killing, that's pretty much it. Wow, and I thought I had issues.