Previously on Angel, Drusilla blew into town, Darla sank her fangs into Holland, Angel didn't give a damn, the MoG had no one to minister to, Angel smoked, and Dru and Darla got broiled like McRibs. Except with real fire, so I guess it was more like Whoppers. Half a season in a minute. Almost none of that was relevant to this episode. And the parts that were relevant were pretty well explained in the course of the episode. What I'm trying to get at here is that the little "story so far" intros aren't going to help new viewers, and they're just annoying regular viewers. Or at least, they're annoying me.
A cityscape, at normal speed for a change. Angel broods. Cordy and Wesley are trying to clean up their new office. Cordy's clothes aren't all that bad. It seems they've decided to keep the "Angel Investigations" name, despite the absence of Angel himself. Cordy nobly sacrifices herself on the altar of non-physical non-comedy by bumping her head on a planter. Wesley thanks her for taking one for the team. Gunn returns from distributing flyers throughout the neighborhood. Then they discover that the phone isn't working. Wesley crawls under their only desk to fuss with the wiring. Gunn and Cordy stare down at the ass protruding out from under the desk. Anyone else get the feeling that there was a joke here that they decided not to include? Wesley claims he's figured out the problem, and of course, the electricity goes out. Gunn says, "I am so glad I met you guys. It's entertaining, really." Gunn is so very wrong about that.
Time passes. Thank goodness that they always feel compelled to show us the sun rising or setting in a blipverty montage, because otherwise I wouldn't know what to think when it's night in one scene and day in the . Angel crawls into bed, all tuckered out from a long night of brooding. But what's this? Someone's singing "The Star-Spangled Banner." Angel, ever vigilant in the pursuit of evil, goes to investigate. He gets downstairs and finds Cary engaged in patriotic ululations in the lobby. Cary says, "You gotta be all the time singin' in here, am I right? C'mon, with these acoustics?" Angel glowers, and demands to know why Cary is there. Cary says, "What's today, Thursday? Tomorrow night, the world's going to end. Thought you might want to know." Angel looks like a confused puppy as the credits swirl about him. I will now unveil my lyrics to the Angel theme. Sing along. The first line starts when he crashes through the door in the credits:
Angel's a good vampire, / ex-cept when heee's hap-py -- / and then he gets real evil. / He's much more fun that way, though. / But now he just broods because/ he can't get laid. / Cordy has no faaa-shion sense, / And Wes-ley sucks! / But / Gunn's / char-/ ming / and / cool.
Thank you. Thank you so much. Your applause makes the five minutes I spent on that completely worthwhile. Cary asks if Angel plans to offer him a "frothy cappuccino or a hot cinnamon roll." Angel has no such plans. Cary sniffs, "Man, you just get darker and darker. And the weird thing is -- your aura? Beige." Snicker. Angel says that he doesn't have any coffee. They really are breaking all ties to the first season, aren't they? Cary rambles on about how Angel fired his staff, and how that's a darn shame. He says that Cordelia is "hot-o-rama, in the 'oh my sizzling loins' sense of the word, if you know what I mean. And the British boy? He's going to be playing a huge --" Cary abruptly stammers to a close. So, some people have taken that remark to indicate that Wesley has a significant part in the Apocalypse. Heh. Okay, let me rephrase that: a significant part in the battle to prevent the Apocalypse. Since Cary was discussing how attractive Cordy was before moving on to Wesley, I must say I took it a little differently. Like maybe the few words were "role in my fantasies." Angel desperately urges Cary to tell him what's going on. Cary says, "The world ending? It's kind of a funny story..." The edges of the screen fail to get misty as we travel back to the evening.
Cary sets the scene by describing how "a Torto demon and his parasite were murdering the Everly Brothers." Not literally, unfortunately. We hear someone tonelessly singing "Bye Bye, Love." The Torto demon is up on stage. Nice makeup. Then the camera pans down to a green head with a Frankenstein haircut, who's also singing along. Oh yeah, did I mention that the head of this beastie is protruding from the Torto demon's chest? Now, as effects go, not that impressive, but it's just supposed to be funny, and it is. Cary moves on to whining about how the new bartender, Elian, committed the cardinal sin of making a lousy Seabreeze. While Cary bitches at Elian for not using freshly squeezed grapefruit juice, let's note that Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt came up with this story. And Greenwalt wrote the teleplay. The end result? Funny dialogue, lousy story. Hmmm. Maybe they had a bet, like Joss said, "Hey, David, here's an incoherent plot. I'll bet you $5 that you can't make it remotely entertaining." Angel asks if Cary is ever going to approach a point. Cary responds, "I can, if you'll let me get a word in edgewise, mister get-to-the-pointy-pants." Tee hee! Cary says that the guy on stage was someone who was remarkably unremarkable. Sure enough, Average Joe gets up and begins crooning "All By Myself." Cary says, "When he started singing, man, he knocked me out!" Literally, for a change. Cary listens to the song and suddenly collapses. Cary tells Angel, "I looked into this guy, and I saw he has no future after ten o'clock tomorrow night. And neither does anybody else." Cary says they have to find the guy and stop whatever it is that he's going to do. Angel asks, "Why'd you come to me?" Cary says, "Isn't it obvious? You're a champion. A unique force for good in a troubled world. Also, all the other champions I know are currently out of town or dead." Cary asks if Angel is hesitant to work with him, and wonders, "Is this because I sent you on a couple of missions that turned out to be a little..." "Pointless and deadly?" Angel finishes. Cary insists that he meant well, and besides, this is an emergency. Angel wonders why the singer didn't wait to hear Cary's reading. Cary says that some people get scared and don't want a reading. Angel speculates that maybe the singer didn't know about Cary's talent, and just left because he was done.
So this guy just wandered into the crazy demon karaoke bar. To sing. And wasn't at all concerned about the two-headed beastie or any of the other patrons. Right. Cary suggests they check out other nearby karaoke bars, if Angel isn't too busy "getting lawyers killed or setting girls on fire." Angel is expressionless. As usual.
Average Joe stares at equations on a whiteboard in a lab. Spunky-But-Geeky Gal and Boring Exposition Guy look on from upstairs. They banter. Or try to. We learn that Average Joe is smart and does work relating to time. Spunky goes to chat with Average. Technobabble threatens to take over the world as they talk about quantum mechanics without ever using the word "quantum." Spunky eventually says, "I like the theory of freezing time as much as the Star Trek nerd, but --" Average sniffs, "It's not freezing time, although that's what it would look like to an outside observer. I'm talking about removing an infinitesimal space-time aggregate from all that surrounds it." Spunky describes this as "a tiny event horizon." So, as another part of the bet, Joss handed Greenwalt a list of physics vocabulary words and told him to use them all in this scene. Average explains that if he could get the math right, he could prove his theory "by generating a focal point with the accelerators' beams here, and passing liquid mercury through that point." Spunky chimes in to describe how the mercury drops would be suspended, frozen out of time. Wow. Enter the Average Girlfriend. She isn't a physicist, because she is pretty and perky, and need not bother her head with that pesky math. She and Average exchange awkward greetings, and we learn that tomorrow night is their one-year anniversary. I don't believe for a second that they've been dating for more than a week. I know their awkwardness is meant to convey the idea that the relationship is on its last legs, but instead it conveys that they have never met before. Spunky leaves with Girlfriend.
Blipvert. Cary and Angel enter a smoky bar, where a patron is singing Greensleeves. Wow. They approach the bar, and Cary says that Average isn't there. Apparently this is the seventeenth bar they've checked. The bartender wanders up and tells Cary, "We don't get your kind much." Because, that's right, no one is terribly surprised to see a green, horned demon in their midst. Because it's normal. Because this has suddenly become a different show. The bartender rambles about how the karaoke machine chased off a lot of his regular customers when they put it in, but it does attract some grad students, and it balances out. Apparently they thought we might be really interested in the economics of this bar. Although, given the alternative of thinking about the plot, I must admit I'm a little bit curious. Angel explains that they're looking for a guy, "early twenties, medium build, maybe one of your steadies, sings sad songs like All By Myself." The bartender instantly identifies him as "the kid," who comes by every few weeks. He says, "The first time, I thought somebody died. But then I just figured he was one of those manic-depressants [sic, or then again, maybe not]." Cary has the bartender picture Average and sing For He's a Jolly Good Fellow, which allows Cary to confirm that this is the Average Joe they're looking for. He asks the bartender to tell them where Average goes to school.
At the lab, Average works on his equations. It's really, really fascinating. My eyes glaze over, and then fairies arrive to put another layer of glaze on, and then they top it off with a sprinkling of jimmies. Then Average turns on his particle accelerators, which causes a magical blue and orange light to bounce back and forth between some mirrors, because that's what particle accelerators look like: little portable tubes that emit Spielbergian light. Oh I can't even bother. Mercury drips out, falls down toward the light, and drops straight through. Bummer. Just reverse polarity and channel all power through the main deflector; that always works. A frustrated Average leaves the lab. And then two creepy old Mormon demons pop out from behind some equipment and declare, "He does not know it, but he is the one." I don't know why they remind me of Mormons, exactly, but they do. One demon goes over to the whiteboard and intones, "From nothingness the human pestilence came, into nothingness it goes." He points his little staff at the whiteboard, and the equations are rewritten. It would appear that demons can't use erasers like normal people do. Nor can they work particle accelerators, even if they know the mathematics involved to do whatever it is that they want. Let's all have a beer or five during the commercials, okay?
The city has gone back to its super-fast speed. Cordy sets up candles all over the office. Gunn and Wesley are sitting behind the desk. She's wearing a camouflage-patterned top that's kind of cute, and jeans. Normal, ordinary blue jeans. It's still a little odd, but at least it's something that doesn't make me want to shriek when I look at it. She tries to look on the bright side of having no electricity, until Gunn tells her to give it up. With a sigh, she joins him and Wesley behind the desk. "Sometimes you need to wallow," Wesley says. "Just let the depression settle in silently." The key word there is "silently," Wesley. Enter Virginia, who is carrying a bottle of champagne and gushing about the cool office. "You guys must be so excited!" she insists. Then she looks at the MoG, and adds, "In that really dry, suicidal way." Wesley calls Virginia "sweetheart," and greets her with a kiss. Cordy grabs the champagne, and starts swigging straight from the bottle while Virginia offers crackers and cheese to go along with it. I still don't get why Gunn feels compelled to tie his fortunes to this company, since he has all of his Found Boys and friends and, let's not forget, his camp! Then Virginia announces that she found a rich client for them. She says, "My friend Patricia, her family, they've got, like, this big guy that's been harassing them." Gunn gets enthusiastic, but Cordy asks if "big guy" translates as demon. Virginia admits that it does, but also stresses that Patricia's family is very, very rich. "They invented, um, I dunno, like, chairs or something." Cordy chirps, "We'll do it! We'll do anything!" Virginia responds, "Oh, that's so sad!" and then gives them the details about the Wainakey demon who has, by the way, already killed the oldest son in the family. Cordy notes, "You just let these facts kind of dribble out, don't you?" Virginia prepares to call and say they'll take the case. Wesley tells her there's no phone. Cordelia adds that the lights are gone. Gunn notes that there's a "funky smell." As they all head out, Virginia says, "I wasn't going to say anything." Didn't they all have cell phones recently? Wouldn't Virginia have a cell phone, even if the rest of them didn't anymore? Just wondering.
The morning. Average enters his lab, looks at the whiteboard, and is stunned by what he sees. He doesn't wonder why the equations are different than the ones he wrote last night, though. Guess he figures the ghost of Feynman visited in the wee hours of the night. He rushes to his laptop and starts up the accelerators. Mercury falls into the bubble of light and...stops! Average stares as more mercury drips down and settles into a ball within the light, and declares, "I did it. Oh, this is a yee-haw moment." He races away, screaming, "Yeeeeeeee-haha!"
Average runs across campus, past the library. Where, as fate would have it, Angel and Cary are just entering to the gentle strains of the "no, see, really, it's funny" theme music. Angel grumbles, "Where'd you learn how to drive?" Cary answers, "Just now, in your car. Not bad for a beginner, huh?" Cary expositions about how Angel was curled up in the back seat under a blanket so as to avoid that pesky sunburn. As a student passes, Cary cuddles up with a bookshelf and guesses he should think of something to say if he spies "a comely co-ed." Angel suggests that he claim to be the new school mascot, and heads for the reference desk. Cary watches from behind a book as Angel collects a big stack of yearbooks from the student at the desk. They keep the yearbooks behind the desk? Yeah, wouldn't want just anyone to get their hands on that kind of valuable information. Angel returns to Cary and suggests that they go through the books looking for Average. As Cary shelves the book he was hiding behind, we see one of the Mormon demons peering through the stacks.
Girlfriend and Spunky are sitting outside engaging in girl-talk. Girlfriend is wearing a purple ruffly scoop-neck, perhaps to prove that the Fashion Nazi is mean to people besides Cordelia. Or perhaps just because that shade of purple goes so well with her red hair. If by "so well" you mean, "aiiieeee, my eyes!" Now, my hair is red, and I do wear purple. But my hair's not that particular shade of red, and if it were I wouldn't wear that particular shade of purple. Okay? I felt obliged to explain that for some reason. Maybe just to take a break from this show for a second. Sigh. Girlfriend needs to share something. As Spunky prompts her, Average races up a walkway behind them. Only the regular characters are allowed to have names, apparently. Oh, wait. The captioning claims that Girlfriend is named "Denise." And Spunky is "Val." Let's stick with the nicknames, though; they've worked this long. Girlfriend swears Spunky to secrecy, and then says, "I just don't think it's gonna work out with me and Gene." Gene? Who the hell is Gene? Average stops short behind them, stunned to hear that Girlfriend is cheating on him. Unless...wait, I get it! He's Gene! With a name like that, shouldn't he be a biochemistry major? Ba-dum-bum!
So, Average lurks out of sight and eavesdrops as Girlfriend shares her woe with Spunky. She says, "He's just sort of hollow or something. When I'm with him, I feel -- I feel lonely." Spunky concedes that Average is "an energy-sucker." I'm sure she would have called him an emotional vampire, except that would spoil the goofy parallel that Angel draws later on in the show. Girlfriend wants to dump Average, and Spunky wonders, "Couldn't you have figured that out before the big anniversary do?" Seriously. It doesn't sound like this is a sudden change in their relationship, and a year is a long time to stumble along, and I'm not sympathizing with Girlfriend much. Girlfriend says that Average has planned the whole evening for them: he's making dinner at his apartment. That is some kind of crazy, sweep-a-girl-off-her-feet, romantic plan. How long did it take Average to come up with it, I wonder? Spunky wonders how Girlfriend is going to handle this delicate situation, and then says, "Oh my God, you're gonna give him the sympathy bone, aren't you? It's gonna be dinner, sympathy bone, and adios, Gene. I'm totally right here, aren't I?" Considering all the four-dimensional math happening, it's funny that Spunky's the only character who exists in even three dimensions. Anyway, Girlfriend justifies her sympathy-bone maneuver because she and Average have been through so much together. If I understand this, Girlfriend thinks it'll be okay to dump her boyfriend on their anniversary as long as she sleeps with him first, because that will probably make him even happier and make the emotional fall-out that much more brutal. Good thinkin'. And yet Spunky approves of the plan. Maybe she's being sarcastic. Girlfriend insists that Average was "really sweet there for a while." Then she says that it's "not the kind of love that lasts." Well, apparently not, at least on her side. Average turns and wanders back the way he came. Sucks to be him.
Angel and Cary look over all the yearbooks, spread out on a table. Oh, ick, sorry about that: the yearbooks are spread out on a table. Didn't mean to put that image in anybody's head. Pardon me while I go pour Clorox into my brain. While it seeps into my medulla, Cary identifies Average. Angel heads back to the reference desk to find out where the physics lab is. The guy at the desk looks at the picture and says that Average is "our own Stephen Hawking, only less charismatic." He didn't say that last part. Angel explains that he's from the Taubman foundation, and that "we just freed up some new grant money" for Average. Wouldn't a foundation be able to identify its beneficiaries without sifting through yearbook photos and asking library aides for help? But the librarian doesn't question this, and eagerly provides directions to Average's lab. Suddenly the librarian is startled by something behind Angel. Angel reassures him, "Don't worry; school mascot." And then Angel's whacked in the back with an axe-scythe-type-thing by one of the Mormon demons.
The mercury balls are still hovering happily when Average returns to his lab. He looks at the balls and says, "So I'll give her the kind of love that lasts." Sounds like a plan. A stupid plan, but a plan nevertheless.
Cary watches while Angel battles with the Mormon demon. The rest of the library patrons are remarkably unfazed. They just look on quietly. ["Well, it is the library, after all." -- niki] Cary shouts something in demon-speak. The Mormon hesitates and turns, and Cary whips a big reference book at him. Which misses the Mormon, and instead clobbers Angel in the head. Bwah ha ha! I'm gonna watch that again. Tee hee! Okay, just one more time. Snicker. All right, I'll move on. More fighting. The Mormon hurls a deadly...chair...at Angel. Angel swats it away. This fight kind of needs a big finish. Oh, that was the big finish. Silly me. The Mormon shouts something and runs away. Cary explains that he said, "We come in peace," and the Mormon's response was, "You shall not stop the Golden Child, the one for whom we have waited." He goes on to explain that the Mormons are Lubber demons, a "fanatical sect awaiting a messiah who will usher in the end of all human life." How come there aren't any mellow sects? Why do they always have to be so darn fanatical? Angel guesses that "this mad scientist has these demons worshipping and protecting him while he blows up the planet, or wha -- What's he going to do?" Cary doesn't know, but he thinks they should hurry to the lab because "it's pretty clear we're dealing with a criminal mastermind." Oh, the dramatic irony. Oh, the humor. Oh, my head.
Average is crooning "All By Myself" in a basement as he plugs in his equipment, if you know what I mean. Angel and Cary storm into the lab and ask Exposition Guy where Average is. Exposition says he doesn't know, but someone stole all of Average's equipment. Exposition does a double-take when he sees Cary. Angel tries his "school mascot" cover story again. "For the Buccaneers?" Exposition Guy responds. Cary smoothly says, "Not your school, silly." Angel asks what Average was working on. Exposition Guy spews out some technobabble. Angel stares blankly for a moment before saying, "Come again?" Cary translates, "Stopping time." Exposition Guy tries to make us care about him. He fails. Angel cross-examines Exposition Guy for the details on freezing time while we watch Average set up mirrors and accelerators and gadgets all around his bedroom. Exposition Guy explains that in theory, whatever is within the field of the plot device would be removed from reality and remain frozen forever. He goes on to say that "if the field were improperly contained, it would spill out, keep growing, stop everything." Angel establishes that only Average has keys to the lab (so how'd Exposition Guy get in?) and so the step is figuring out where Average and his doomsday device are now.
Average lights candles. I'm ferociously bored. As they cruise toward Average's house, Cary looks down at the gearshift and observes, "So there's another gear after that number two thingy?" Angel grumbles. Cary says, "This whole sour-pussy mode of yours, it's starting to grate. You know what your problem is?" He said "sour-pussy." Not me. It was him. Cary says that Angel's heart isn't in it anymore, and then asks if Angel would actually mind if the world ended that night. When Angel doesn't answer, Cary asks, "Now, sweetie, is that a fun place to be?" Angel tells Cary to shut up, and Cary cheerfully replies, "I'm the Host, have you met me? I never shut up." He goes on to say that Angel has gone from "helping the helpless to hunting down the guilty" and implies that this is a bad move, rather than the first interesting bit of character development Angel's had in years. He wants Angel to share his feelings, so that he can help Angel back onto his proper, dull, boring, stupid, lame path. Cary, you're not scoring any points with me here.
Average sets the salad bowl on the table. I cannot believe I'm recapping this. Cary is scatting to himself while Angel fumes. Angel finally snaps, "You want to know what my problem is? I'm screwed, that's my problem. I can't win. I'm trying to atone for a hundred years of unthinkable evil. News flash: I never can!" He goes on to note that he also has "two hundred highly intelligent law school graduates workin' full time, driving [him] crazy -- why the hell is everyone so surprised that it's working?" He sneers, "But no, it's 'Angel, why are you so cranky?' 'Angel, you should lighten up, you should smile, you should wear a nice plaid!'" Hee. Plaid. Cary opines, "Not this season, honey." Angel says that Darla lost her chance for redemption, and now he has to hunt her down. He insists, "I'm gonna kill her, and then I'm gonna burn that law firm to the ground." Angel then inserts a jarring note into an otherwise decent speech by calling the MoG his "crew." He says that they wouldn't be able to handle his plan to destroy Wolfram & Hart, and that's good: "It means they're human. It means they're better off being fired." Cary does his version of the "It'll get better" speech, but then admits that it won't if they don't stop Average. Angel insists that they'll get there in time, and then crashes into one of the Mormons, who was standing on the road in front of them. Angel and Cary stop and run to the Mormon. Then they look up and see several other Mormons approaching. At a brisk walk. They watch as more and more Mormons amble toward them. Cary pulls out a cell phone and orders a pizza while they wait for the thrilling battle to commence. Girlfriend arrives at Average's apartment. Average tells her, "Happy anniversary." The soundtrack trills in a pointless struggle to generate suspense as we go to commercial.
Exterior shot of a mansion. Inside, Gunn removes his hubcap-axe from the back of a dead demon. Wesley knowingly mutters, "We found the killer, just not the murderer." We see that the MoG are in a drawing room along with an older man, an older woman, an even older woman, a young girl, and a young man. This episode has twenty characters, and no names. Wesley says that the demon was operating under the control of "someone else -- someone in this room!" Cordy, whose hair is swept back, improving it immensely, gobbles up a tray of munchies as Wesley gets his Big Scene. He says that only a master wizard could control the demon, and looks pointedly at the older man. The older man says, "I don't do that stuff any more." Wesley moves on to the footprints they found outside the solarium. The older woman says that the footprints belong to Kevin, from when he sneaked into the house the night before. Wesley adds, "Supposedly from seeing that shop girl in town. But we all know that Kevin is impotent, so why put on the show?" The young man, now happily named, sulks. Wesley points a walking stick at Kevin and notes that Kevin stood to inherit a fortune as a result of the murder. However, Wesley says, Kevin didn't have the intelligence or opportunity to plan the crime. He adds, "Sorry about the impotent remark." So the question is, who is manipulating Kevin? And the bigger question is, how much padding can one episode stand? Wesley takes his time running through the evidence, and finally accuses Kevin's Aunt Helen. Also known as the older woman. Helen rushes for a door, but Cordy gets there first and harumphs, "Not so fast, sister." Gunn tells Wesley, "That was cool." Well, it was a passable parody, but not really on the level of A Shot in the Dark. But it's over, and that counts for something.
If only we could say the same for the rest of the episode. Well, it's getting there. Angel and Cary fight the Mormons. Well, Angel does. Cary watches. I try to figure out why they don't just hop to the car and drive off. A pair of Mormons start toward Cary, and Cary defends himself by singing a piercing high note. When the Mormons cover their ears, he kicks one and punches another.
Average and Girlfriend make uncomfortable small-talk. I'm riveted to the screen. Because I got out my Black & Decker tools and started trying to drill holes in the screen to make this scene end, and my sleeves got caught. It's kind of embarrassing, actually. time I'll just use the "pause" button. Having vanquished the Mormons, Angel and Cary race to the car, suddenly remembering that they're in a hurry. There was nothing to stop them from skipping the fight and just driving on. Not a thing. Stupid show. Girlfriend takes a rose off the bed and then unbuttons and removes her blouse. Average watches. Oh, the burning ennui. They kiss. Angel and Cary zoom down the streets. Average and Girlfriend canoodle in bed. Angel and Cary arrive at the apartment building. Angel wonders, "If I had a machine to stop time, where would I put it?" Cary says, "Probably where the demons can guard it," and points. A demon lurks in a basement window. More canoodling. Average reaches up and turns on his machines. Whirring noises commence, and bright rays of light bounce around on the mirrors surrounding the bed. Apparently Girlfriend is giving Average her complete and undivided attention. The blob of orange time-stopping light oozes over the bed and encloses Average and Girlfriend just as Average...well, you know.
Angel crashes into the basement along with one of the Mormons. The orange blob trickles down over the building. We watch as it freezes a man who is in the process of pouring himself a beer. Is this a joke? Without the funny part? Or are we meant to say, "Ooo, look, they have magically made it appear as if the liquid has been frozen in the very act of being poured! Why, we could not replicate such visual trickery without the aid of one of Mister Edison's new-fangled photographical machines!" Angel fights the Mormons. One of the Mormons is kicked up onto a ledge. He prepares to dive down onto Angel, but the orange blob creeps down and suspends him in mid-air. Bringing to mind another question: If the whole world is suspended outside time, how exactly does that help the demons? If they're in the world when it happens, they get stuck along with us. And if they're not in the world, do they get to go frolic in some other version of the world where time hasn't stopped? Why can't they do that anyway, then? Where was I? Oh yeah. The Mormon is frozen in the air, and Angel scrambles over to the gadgetry and unplugs it. The orange blob zips away, and the Mormon crashes to the ground. The Mormon's axe-thingy clatters nearby, and Angel picks it up and dispatches the Mormon. The blob continues to shrink. Beer resumes its natural pouring behavior, hallelujah. Average finishes...uh, well, he finishes, and let's leave it at that. Angel looks around in the basement, long enough to establish that a few moments have passed. Back up in Average's bedroom, Girlfriend is siting on the edge of the bed, not looking at Average, as she says, "We have to talk."
More time passes. Angel and Cary and Average are sitting around Average's dining table. He says, "I had no idea I was putting the whole world in jeopardy, or there were all these demons." He apologizes and says he just didn't want Girlfriend to leave. Cary makes "talk to the boy" gestures at Angel. Angel looks quietly baffled, and finally stammers, "Well, y'know, love...It's a fire." Average looks intrigued. Angel adds, "It burns you. Alive. Down to the bone. And then it turns the bone to ash, and then --" Hee. I'm sure I've said it before, but Angel's kind of entertaining when he's bitter. Cary interrupts before Average sets himself ablaze, and offers a metaphor about how one note is just noise and it's the changes that make music. Average doesn't look too cheered by that, either. After a moment he asks, "You guys like beer?" Angel numbly responds, "Beer sounds great." I can't express how strongly I agree with that. Average heads for the kitchen, and Cary observes that Angel is actually connecting with a human. Angel says, "The guy's a disaster at love, he nearly destroyed the world. I can relate." Angel drifts back to brooding about the MoG, and tells Cary that maybe he made things hard on them.
Guess what? The MoG are partying. Because that dramatic contrast never fails to surprise. For instance, I'm surprised they're still using this shtick. There's a celebratory fiesta going on at the office, with lots of anonymous extras shaking their booties. Wesley's dancing, too. Where'd I put the drill? A cameraman lurks outside the window, providing a spooky stalker POV shot. Inside, Cordelia looks up and heads for the door as a befuddled man enters. Wesley and Gunn join her as they greet the newcomer. The new guy is confused by the party, but they assure him that he has found Angel Investigations. He says that he needs help, and then asks, "Which one of you is Angel?" The MoG look at each other awkwardly, and then Wesley pipes up cheerfully: "It's just a name." Wow, that's a really satisfying resolution to the problems they were having. Because, when you come down to it, Angel is just a name. And they can help the helpless even without Angel around. As they discovered. Two episodes ago. So who cares? Not me. I think Joss won the bet.
week, Kate returns as everyone battles the police. First lawyers, now the LAPD. They sure are going after sacred cows on this show.