Previously on Angel...Gunn killed his sister, Cordelia moved in with a ghost, Lindsey got a box full o' Darla, Darla expressed an interest in saying "howdy" to Angel. Okay, I appreciate that they want to bring new viewers up to speed, but why explain all that when you're going to open the show with the Karaoke-er from Hell, as if that plot element needs no explanation?
Right, so, as I just mentioned, we open in the karaoke bar. The Thin Green Duke says to Angel, "'Send in the Clowns' and 'Tears of a Clown,' both in one night. What a treat." He sounds sarcastic, or maybe that's my imagination. Angel says he was "going for a medley kind of a thing." Hesitantly, the TGD observes, "More of a "duo-dley," really, wasn't it?" Angel admits that he couldn't think of a third song. The TGD (he'd better get a name time he appears) says that Angel really opened up on stage, and guesses that he's been practicing, although, "probably not in front of a mirror." Angel says he's been singing in the shower. The TGD goes on to say, "You really put your heart into it. The question is, what happens to it now?" Angel isn't sure what "it" is. "Your heart, you big softie! It may not be beatin', but it can still break." The TGD explains that Angel has come to a bend in the road, and that "whether or not that slows you down...well, that's up to you." With that, he turns to face the audience and bursts into song. Angel ambles offstage and into the crowd. And then we see Darla, as the TGD gets to the line, "You can windsurf into my life!" Hee. Angel walks up and wraps his arms around Darla and they grin at each other. Angel says he was afraid she wouldn't come, and Darla says that she's "been here the whole time." Every time I transcribe Darla's dialogue, I want to say she "simpers." Which would probably get tiresome for us both. So can we all just take it as read that whenever Darla speaks, she simpers? Thanks. Anyway, Darla wonders if Angel will ask her to dance. Angel grins goofily and walks her through the suddenly deserted bar. They dance -- or, technically, shuffle -- by the stage while the TGD wails. Angel rests his giant head on Darla's so that he can devote all of his efforts to thinking. "I still can't believe you're here," he says. "I mean, I killed you." Darla says she's over that, and then asks if Angel has told anyone about "these dates of ours." Angel says that he hasn't, and that he wants her all to himself. Angel says it's strange, which is true. Darla says it's also good. I respectfully disagree, especially when they start smooching. As the song ends, the TGD looks on with distaste and says, "Somebody get these two love-vamps a room!" Credits? Nope, there's still more slurping lips to see. Finally we cut to Angel in bed. The camera pulls back, revealing more and more of his bare chest. Let's go back to the kissing; at least they were both dressed for that! Angel puts a hand to his forehead and looks, uh, flustered. Credits? Please? Yes, finally.
Wesley and Cordelia are dusting the hotel. Cordy is unhappy about this particular task, but Wesley reconciles her to the job by pointing out that they could always go back to her apartment. Gunn enters and asks, "Where's Angel?" Cordy suggests that "Hello" would be a better greeting. Gunn feels that his opening got to the point a little faster. Cordy says that Angel is sleeping. Gunn says that it's 3:30 PM, and that he's been up since dawn. Cordy snips, Gunn tells Wesley that Angel agreed to meet him at 4:00: "Angel promised to back me up; we're meeting a snitch downtown. This guy's got a line on Deevak." He explains that Deevak is the new demon in town, and that he's killed two of his Found Boys. Gunn once again urges someone to go wake Angel. Cordy says that Angel "will rise on his own; he always does." Under the circumstances, I don't need a lot of jokes about "getting Angel up," or Angel "rising on his own." I truly don't. Cordy suggests that maybe she and Wesley can help Gunn. Gunn raises an eyebrow and says "I find Deevak, I'm gonna need more than C-3PO and stick-figure Barbie backin' me up. No offense." "Very little taken," sniffs Wesley. Gunn insists that he needs "serious muscle." On ironic cue, enter David "Oh, That Nascally" Nabbit. In his purple cape. With a sword. He declares, "Demons of the underworld, beware! Your time on this earth is drawing nigh!" I want to put a "[sic]" in there, but I guess the grammar is correct. It's just that he's saying that the demons' time on earth is approaching. I suspect he meant the opposite of that. I hate him, you know. Cordy is delighted to see Nabbit, who explains that he came as quickly as he could. Cordy says that they paged him two days ago, and Nabbit explains he was in Kuala Lumpur. Then he starts waving his sword in Gunn's face, saying, "Identify yourself, traveler." Gunn knocks the sword to the floor and asks Wesley, "Who is this guy?" Wesley performs introductions. Angel finally comes downstairs, and Nabbit declares himself ready for battle. Angel says that, actually, he needs financial advice, and starts explaining that they're leasing the hotel for six months, with an option to buy. Nabbit rattles off some stuff about financing and grants and down payments. Cordy is enthralled by this, which I mention mostly because she looks really pretty in this shot. Nabbit offers to have his "money guy" work on some suggestions for Angel, and marches off. Thank god that's over.
While Angel heads straight for the coffee, Gunn reminds him that they'd made a date. Plan. Whatever. Angel tells him to relax, and Gunn points out, "Every time you ask me for a favor I'm right there. First time I need your help, you're snoozin' the afternoon away. What's up with that?" Angel hands his car keys to Cordy and tells her that she's driving. Cordy is taken aback, but quickly agrees to pilot the Angelmobile. He asks Wesley to get some bribe money out of "the box." Gunn isn't happy about having the Wonder Twins along, but Angel insists that they need the entire team to go up against Deevak. As he pulls on his coat, Angel tells Cordelia, "Pick me up in the back, in the shade." Cordy and Wesley head for the door, and Wesley pointedly calls shotgun. Johanna advises Gunn to pull out the official "shotgun" rules, which plainly state that you cannot call shotgun while still in the building. But Gunn probably didn't want to ride up front anyway.
Incidentally, I've been meaning to ask -- where'd Angel stay all summer? He never seems to have trouble finding abandoned buildings to camp out in, so why didn't they move their office to wherever he was? And why can't we ever see where Wesley lives? And couldn't they have tried a little harder to make the hotel lobby look less like the lobby of their old building? Okay, I got all of that out of my system, we can move on.
The Angelmobile pulls into a garage and everyone gets out. At first, Gunn thinks that the guy they're meeting has already left, but Angel spots someone hiding behind a van. The guy comes out and is identified as Jameel. Angel tosses over an envelope full of money, but Jameel throws it back and says he changed his mind. Gunn is displeased. Jameel explains that Deevak will know he's the one who talked, and that "there's a good chance that he had some vamps tail me over here." He goes on to say that Deevak scares him more than Gunn does. Gunn hands the money back to Angel and backhands Jameel. Cordy runs forward as Gunn starts kicking Jameel. Angel is shocked at this, because he never uses threats or violence to get information. Except every other episode. Jameel says he didn't do anything. Gunn grabs him and says, "You think I care? Survival of the fittest, bro, and right now you're not looking too fit." He pulls pack to punch Jameel, and Angel grabs his fist. Gunn tells Angel "This is my case," but Angel says, "It was. Now it's mine." Then three vampires enter, and Jameel skedaddles. Let the melée ensue! Cordy squeaks as she completely misses staking one of the vamps. Punch, kick, swat, and she manages to dust a vamp who's distracted by Wesley's pointlessness. More punching and thumping and so on.
Later, three piles of dust litter the ground. Four piles of tissue, in the form of Angel, Gunn, Wesley, and Cordy, are propped up against a car, moaning about their injuries. Wesley says that he may have thrown his back out. Again. Turns out he just smashed his beeper. Cordy whines that she got grease all over her new outfit. Gunn whines that they still don't know where Deevak is. Wesley points out that they're hardly prepared to face Deevak at the moment. Angel agrees that three vampires shouldn't have given them so much trouble. Gunn stands up and says that he's going to go find Jameel. Cordy says, "When you do find him, you might want to be a little more Guy Pearce in L.A. Confidential, and a little less Michael Madsen in Reservoir Dogs." Johanna points out that the sentence would have worked better if it had concluded, "and a little less Russell Crowe in L.A. Confidential." Gunn says, "I haven't bothered to see a movie since Denzel was robbed of the Oscar™ for Malcom X. Later." And away he goes. Wesley leans over to Angel and confides, "That was quite a performance." Cordy says, "I know! Talk about wound up too tight!" Wesley explains that he was talking about Denzel Washington. "Oh," says Cordy. "Well, he's always great." Looking at Angel, Wesley asks, "What about you?" "Who doesn't love Denzel?" Angel agrees. Wesley tries to pretend that he was asking about Angel's observation about what a hard time they had battling the vampires. Which makes no sense; that part of the conversation was several minutes earlier and you wouldn't go back to it by saying, "What about you?" like that. Yeah, the punchline made me chuckle, but that doesn't mean it wasn't contrived. Anyway, Angel says he's just having an off day, and they move out into the blipvert.
Cordelia pulls the car up at the hotel to drop Angel off. He tells her to bring the car back tomorrow, explaining that he needs to sleep. I guess normally he'd drop her off. "That seems to be all you've been doing lately," Cordy observes. "Not that I'm judging!" she adds, when Angel glares at her.
At her apartment, Cordelia complains, "Jeez, Dennis, it's like a meat locker in here! Don't tell me you turned down the thermostat again?" The thermostat obediently slides back up toward 70. "What is it with ghosts and cold rooms?" Cordy wonders to herself as she curls up in a chair with a good book. She's looking unexpectedly cute in her sweatpants and sneakers. Until she starts writing about in visiony pain. We see Gunn battling some unseen enemy. Perhaps the demonic spirit of commercial breaks?
Guess not, because he's still fighting when we come back. Cordy is lying on the floor, and manages to gasp, "Dennis! Phone!" The phone zips into her hand. Aw.
Angel sleeps on obliviously (hey, why should he be any different when he's sleeping?) as the phone rings on a table by his bed. In his dreams, he and Darla are lying out in swimsuits, moonbathing. In sunglasses, which is kinda funny. In a good way, for a change. More exposed Angel-chest. He asks Darla what the ringing noise is. "Nothing, darling," she says. She tells him to ignore it and pulls an ice cube out of her drink and, in case you wondered, I type these up on a computer without first taking notes or anything by hand, and I do that because the MBTV healthcare plan no longer covers the removal of pencils from eyesockets. Lloyds of London thought it was too big a risk, do you understand me? Do you? Because I could go on. I could talk about anything that might delay the moment when I have to put "ice cube" and "Angel's chest" together in a sentence. Why do women keep dripping frozen things on him? First Buffy and the [shudder] ice cream, and now this. Is it meant as a subtle implication that Angel is, literally, cold-hearted? A cold-hearted snake, perhaps? Remember that Paula Abdul video? It was pretty good, wasn't it? Rather sensual. And, in that way, not at all like what I have to describe here. Okay, I give up. Fine. Darla rubs the ice cube on Angel's bare chest. At least my therapy bills are covered. Oddly, Angel reacts to this by calmly asking, "Why are you so good to me, after everything I did?" Darla responds, "Because you and I are one." The phone finally stops ringing, and Darla puckers up in celebration.
At long last, we cut away to Cordy on the phone, leaving a message on Wesley's answering machine. Guess he's out playing darts again. Didn't she give them all cell phones? She explains that she had a vision of Gunn in trouble, and says, "I'm going over there. When you get this message, get Angel and meet me at Gunn's, okay?" Luckily, they all know where Gunn lives. When he had them over for tea and crumpets, or something. Cordy grabs her bag and heads for the door, then realizes she should bring a weapon along. She pulls a dainty little battle-axe off a closet shelf and reassures herself with the mantra, "I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die," before heading out.
Cordelia pulls the car up behind a decrepit looking building and hurries inside. She hears what sounds like a person practicing tap-dancing, although the captions identify it as "[weapons crack together]." Peering through the window of a laundry room, she sees Gunn and a man battling with Jung Bong staffs. Or something very much like them. Cordy rushes in and bashes Gunn's opponent over the head with the axe. "Ow!" he says. Gunn steps forward and grabs the axe while asking, "Are you crazy? What the hell are you doing?" Cordy, slightly hysterical, replies, "Saving you from a killer demon!" At the sound of laughter, she turns to see the Found Boys sitting in a corner of the room. Cordy says a few things that I'll summarize as "oopsie."
Angel walks up behind Darla and hugs her. They're still in swimsuits. He asks, "What are you thinking about?" "You. Us," she says. Well, they're one, so I guess that would be the same thing. There's a tapping noise in the background as Angel says, "You seem sad." Darla says she has to go. When Angel asks, "Where?" she answers, "Away." Darla could teach Oz a thing or two about being laconic. Angel offers to go with her, but Darla says, "You can't. I'm in danger." Angel offers to protect her, and Darla turns and says, "You're too busy protecting everyone else." They move to kiss, and the tapping gets louder. Darla turns her head, and in the corner of the ruined basement they're in, we see Wesley, hammering the nails of heavy symbolism into the coffin of dead metaphors. Angel, surprised, says, "Wesley?" and then, more firmly, "Stop it!" He turns back, and Darla's gone. Angel turns around the other way, and Wesley is right to him. Angel promptly grabs Wesley by the throat and tumbles him to the ground. Cut to reality, where Angel has grabbed Wesley by the throat and tumbled him to the ground. "You made her go away!" he grumbles. Wesley gasps for breath as Angel asks, "What are you doing here?" "Gunn's in trouble," Wesley moans, "Can't breathe!" Puzzled, Angel replies, "Gunn can't breathe?" Wesley slaps Angel's hand by way of explanation, and Angel lets Wesley go and stands up. Wesley says it's okay, and then looks up at Angel. And down. And back up. I moan and cover my eyes. Leaving my ears exposed to capture the sound of Wesley saying, "Now, about the naked thing..." That sentence could be interpreted...no. I can't bear it. The less horrible interpretation is plenty horrible enough. Angel looks down and says, "I'll get dressed." He reaches his hand down to help Wesley up off the floor, but Wesley declines the offer.
Cordy has bandaged the head of the guy she attacked. Gunn starts to leave, and when Cordy asks where he's going, he says, "Walking you to your car; you're going home." She hurries after him, and begins lecturing: "You can't just dismiss me like that; I know what I'm talking about." He points out that she didn't even know that he was training when she burst in on him. Cordy says she was trying to help. Gunn says, "It always enhances a guy's rep when some skinny white beauty queen comes to his rescue. In front of his crew!" Cordy says that she's "vision girl" and that she saw him fighting for his life, and that he was "so scared!" Gunn, being all macho, says, "Now I know you're trippin', 'cause I don't get scared." Cordy says she does, and right now she's scared for Gunn. She goes on to say that she won't leave his side until he's safe. As they get outside, Gunn says he doesn't want a sidekick. "Thanks for coming, buckle up, drive safe," he says. Then he looks around and asks, "So, where's your car?" Not where she parked it. Whoops.
Cut to Wesley, asking the exact same question as he and Angel stand outside the hotel. Angel looks a little curious about that himself. Almost as if he doesn't know Cordelia has it. Well, to be fair, I don't process things too well when someone wakes me up suddenly.
"Angel is not gonna be happy," Cordy moans as she rides along in Gunn's truck. Gunn says he'll find the Angelmobile: "There's only a couple of guys in this part of town that [sic] jack vintage cars. We'll run down a list till we find Angel's ride." Cordy says, "And then what? You're just gonna ask to give it back?" Gunn goes all Dirty Harry and says, "I'll say please." Cordy makes sarcastic reference to Gunn's "famous charm." She hasn't seen Gunn call Angel "dog." Gunn says, "You don't have a clue why I do the things I do," to which Cordy responds, "Paging Mr. Rationalization!" Gunn, in turn, calls, "Paging Miss About-To-Be-Thrown-Out-Of-A-Moving-Vehicle." Cordy says that no matter how rude Gunn is, she's going to stick by him until he's safe. Gunn claims that it's Cordy who's rude by showing up uninvited: "The way I figure it, I find your car for you, you give me my freedom back." Cordy repeats for the thousandth time that she has to protect him, and Gunn asks if she's going to protect him with her "weak-ass ladysmith battle-axe." "Ask Joey and his cracked skull just how "weak-ass" it is," she responds pointedly. Gunn does that thing where you mimic the other person talking in a mocking way, but you either don't make any noise at all or just make high-pitched "nii nii nii nii" noises. You know what I mean, right? There should be a word for that. Anyway, it's funny. Then Cordy says that she also has mace. Gunn is underwhelmed. "Something better attack me soon," he says, "'cause I know I can't take much more of this." They don't have any chemistry together, and I'd like to shout "No!" right now to any romantic entanglements, but they're both fun. So, there are worse things that could happen. Like some of the things in this episode, for instance.
Wesley is settling onto his motorcycle when he looks up at a hesitant Angel and asks what he's waiting for. Angel holds up the salmon-colored helmet and says that he don't think it'll fit over his gargantuan head. Wesley says that it will. Angel says he doesn't really need a helmet, and Wesley says that it's the law. Wesley looks like chipmunk as he asks, "What's the problem?" Angel stammers, "The whole visibility issue, not to mention the whole hat-head thing, and y'know, when you really think about it, how come I have to wear the lady's helmet?" Wesley says, "Stop being such a wanker and put it on." Angel gives in. Wesley looks at him for a moment and smirks, "Looks good. Hop on board, gorgeous." "You'll pay for this," Angel says as he gets on the bike behind Wesley, and they ride off into the blipvert.
Gunn and Cordy step into a fenced-in lot. The fence isn't locked. I guess car thieves don't worry about security. A guy steps out of an office and asks what they're looking for. Gunn introduces Cordelia to Henry. They ask about the car, and Henry says he didn't take it. "Desmond's your man; he can't pass up old convertibles." Henry is holding his neck very stiffly. I'm not sure if he's a vampire or just generally uncomfortable. As Gunn and Cordy start to leave, Henry says that Desmond's at a party being hosted by someone named Tito. Tito Puente? Cool. Gunn tells Henry that the cars in his lot look like ones from Gunn's neighborhood. He says, "You want to jack Beemers in Brentwood, be my guest, but leave the neighborhood cars alone." Henry doesn't like being told what to do. Gunn threatens to put Henry out of business. And not by opening his own stolen car business and beating his prices, either. Exit Gunn and Cordy. Once they're out of sight, a large, silly-looking demon with melted face and Gumby limbs walks out. Henry says that Gunn is "under the false impression that he runs this town." Deevak says, "I know who he is. The trouble he's caused. Tonight, it ends."
Wesley and Angel motor along. A few kids exit a house and run into Gunn. The middle kid asks Gunn, "What are you doing here?" Gunn has the same question. "You're supposed to be cruising the garment district." Cruising the garment district. For "demons." Uh-huh. The kid says nothing was happening there, but Gunn is having none of that. "We got two men down; you want to make it a third? Get the hell back home. I've got things to take care of here, then you and I are gonna have a little chat." The kid leaves. Cordy asks if Gunn goes "all warm and tingly on the whole power-trip thing." Gunn says something about discipline, and tells Cordy, "Now, when we get inside, just shut up and stick close to me." Cordelia objects to being bossed around: "I don't take orders. Well, except from Angel. And at least he usually asks nicely." She insists that she has no trouble blending in at a party, although I have to wonder if she normally "blends" in sweatpants, a sweater, with her hair in a ponytail. Actually, I don't have to wonder about that at all, since I'm sure the answer is "no."
Cordy and Wesley step into the ethnically diverse party house, where rap music is playing and many people are getting, as they say, down. Tito Puente is nowhere to be seen. Damn. Cordy rethinks her ability to blend, and tells Gunn, "Maybe I'll just shut up and stick close to you." A girl named Veronica greets Gunn, and says they've been missing him down at the store. She then looks at Cordy and asks, "Who's your friend?" somewhat suspiciously. Cordy says "I'm just here on business. I'm a working girl. That came out wrong." She tries to correct herself, saying she isn't a working girl, not that she couldn't be if she wanted to be, not that she's stuck-up about it, and gets as far as saying that Veronica could be a working girl if she wanted to be one before she manages to shut herself up. Gunn asks if Desmond is at the party. Veronica says that Desmond is around, and Gunn and Cordy being mingling. As Gunn greets a few more partiers, Cordy asks, "Are you friends with, like, every criminal in town?" Gunn says, "There you go, assuming those brothers are criminals." Cordy responds snidely, "Aren't they?" "You mean like your friend David Nabbit?" Gunn asks, neatly avoiding the question. "You think he became a billionaire by being a good citizen?" Cordy defends Nabbit's altruism. Gunn tells her to "let [him] know when some of that coin trickles down to these parts." Before Cordy can do more than sigh in response, Gunn spots Desmond by the keg.
Gunn demands the stolen Plymouth. Desmond starts to say, "I had no idea --" when the party is interrupted by a loud crash, followed by screams. Enter the vampires. I'm guessing one of the hosts said something silly like, "Everyone's invited!" The vamps team up on Gunn and start pounding him. Cordy bangs one over the head with a bowl. Veronica runs around and gets thrown into some glass shelves. She falls to the floor, reaches a hand up, and pulls a large shard of glass out of her neck. Kids, if you're at a rockin' house party and some vampires throw you into a wall and you get glass stuck in a major artery, leave it there. Don't say this show isn't educational. Cordy rushes to Veronica while the beating of Gunn continues. She tries to reassure Veronica and presses a towel against the wound. Gunn starts winning the fight, and the vampires run away. He turns and sees Veronica. Cordy -- unnecessarily, I think -- suggests that a doctor would be helpful at this point.
Gunn carries Veronica into the emergency room. Sadly, this is not a multi-network crossover event with City of Angels. As they wheel Veronica down the hall Cordy tells a doctor what happened. Gunn demands to know if Veronica will be okay, and the doctor says, "Your friend probably saved her life, but we've still got some work to do, so let us do it, please." And thus Cordy demonstrates her usefulness to Gunn and wins his respect. If you missed that part, maybe a blipvert will drive the point home.
Cordy wanders through the hospital and finds Gunn, resting his head against a waiting-room wall. He slams his firsts into the wall in frustration, and then turns and sees her. Character exposition ensues. Gunn feels guilty; he let his guard down, he led the vampires to the house. He slams his fist into a wall again. Cordy tells Gunn to take it easy. Gunn grumbles, "I can't take it easy. I can never take it easy, not for a second, all right? The minute I forget that, somebody like Alonna pays the price." Cordy shakes her head, dumbfounded, and repeats, "Alonna?" It's unclear if she means, "Who the heck is Alonna?" or "Did you mean Veronica?" or "Ah, so you are still living through your guilt over killing your vampirized sister, I see. Make an appointment with the receptionist for Thursday." Gunn shakes his head and corrects himself, "Veronica." Gunn says that he can't ever stop, and Cordy looks on sadly. But kind of uselessly, too. Behind her, we see Desmond pressing the button for the elevator. Without turning at all, Cordy suddenly shouts, "Don't you move a muscle!" and then turns to look at Desmond. Whoa, she's got creepy new ESP powers or something. She gets in Desmond's face and demands to know where the car is.
Wesley and Angel putter up to the party house, now surrounded with police cars. After they remove their helmets, Wesley stops and gestures to Angel's hair. Angel fusses with his hair as they walk up to the house. Okay, funny, but how could Angel's hair look more messed up than it normally does? A girl wearing clothes that Charisma Carpenter rejected as "too bizarre" (for instance, a long-sleeved blue sweater, only the sleeves aren't actually attached to the shoulders at all) wanders out, and Wesley asks her if she knows Gunn. The girl is flustered and says maybe he's one of the ones who was hurt. Angel says it looks like she's hurt, but the girl brushes him off. She briefly explains about the fight, and tries to leave. Angel grabs her by the arm and says, "You're sure you're okay?" She smiles and says, "Yeah, thanks." Then Angel headbutts her, and she gets all vampy. And I'm not talking about her fashion sense. "Now start talking," he says.
Gunn raises a garage door and he and Cordy walk inside. They find the car, much to Cordy's relief. Gunn says he'll follow her home. Cordy says, "Great...just as soon as I find the keys." She explains that, in her hurry to rescue Gunn, she left the keys in the car. As she searches the car, she asks if Gunn could hot-wire it. "Just 'cause I know some car thieves don't mean I am one," he replies. She suggests that he could at least help her find them, in that case. "Looking for these?" booms Deevak, as we see him off to one side. He really is awfully goofy looking. No wonder he's so mean; he probably got beaten up a lot by the other demons when he was little. Did I mention that he's wearing what might be an orange prison uniform? So he's kind of like Deebo in Friday. According to Johanna, who's a lot hipper than I am. Anyway, he's got the car keys. Gunn tells Cordy to leave, but she insists on staying. As opposed to running out past a large demon and his minions. Into what we can probably assume is a bad part of town. So while she's being brave, she's also just picking the demon she knows, so to speak. "How touching," Deevak observes, "A woman willing to die with her man." Cordy says that Gunn isn't her man, and she's not that keen on dying with him. As Deevak approaches, Gunn reaches a hand back toward Cordy. She slaps his palm, instead of doing something useful like handing him the axe she's carrying. They failed to make enough of that point in the show, so I'm helpfully drawing your attention to it. Deevak says, "Heard you were looking for me," and grabs Gunn around the neck. There's a lot of strangling happening in this episode. He lifts Gunn off the ground in a full Darth Vader, while Cordy finally remembers that she has a weapon. Which is tangled up in her bag. "You found me!" Deevak says gleefully. Cordy tries to attack, but Deevak grabs her arm with his other hand and she drops the battle-axe. While they struggle, Deevak morphs into that pesky Jameel, and says, "Survival of the fittest, bro. And right now you're not looking too fit." See, that's all ironic and stuff, because that's what Gunn said before, and ow! Luckily, MBTV's health plan does cover anvils.
Nothing has changed after the ads. Until Cordy manages to get her free hand back into her bag, and starts spraying mace into Jameel's eyes. He releases them both as he wipes his eyes, and then morphs back into Deevak. With a squeal of tires, Wesley and Angel arrive in a blaze of incompetence, as Wesley turns the bike onto its side and dumps them both onto the ground. Okay, maybe they had do that to get under the door. But still. As they pick themselves up, a vampire grins at Angel's pink helmet. Angel looks down at it, grins, and then bashes it into the vamp's head. Wesley begins battling with another vamp, and Gunn and Deevak start fighting. Cordy grabs the battle-axe from the floor. Deevak tosses Gunn against a table and pulls out a dagger. Cordy and a vamp wrestle over the battle-axe. Dusting, crowbar-fu, failed stabbing attempt. Angel throws a vampire across the room and against his own car, knocking one of the side mirrors off. Deevak manages to throw Gunn to the ground. Angel sees this and begins running to the rescue as he calls, "Cordy, axe!" She tosses it to him and he catches it, does a summersault in mid-air, lands, and places the axe neatly in Deevak's forehead. I guess they've been practicing that move at home. Deevak falls down. Angel reaches out his hand and helps Gunn up into a battle-highlights blipvert.
Angel's car is pushed out into the alley, and comes perilously close to smashing into a wall before Angel hits the brakes. Then Wesley runs out saying that he's found the keys. They're hanging off a pen he's holding up. He adds, "Unfortunately this substance doesn't appear to be coming off." Angel asks what the goo on his keys is. "Demon blood," Wesley guesses, "or demon pus, or possibly both. Cheers!" He offers them to a disgusted Angel. Sitting back down in his car, Angel asks if anyone knows how to hotwire it. Gunn and Cordy step out for their mutual recognition of each other's value. Gunn notes that Cordy saved his life, and guesses that he should thank her. "Yes, you should," she says dryly. "And no, I didn't," she adds. Gunn is understandably confused. Cordy says, "Deevak wasn't the danger my vision was warning me about." She says that Gunn is in danger because of the way he lives his life: "You don't just face danger, you create it. You're on a self-destruct mission unless you get some help." You can practically hear Cordelia's character snapping under the stress of becoming an entirely different person with no warning. Gunn describes her assessment as "Dionne Warwick crap." But Cordy doesn't stop until she's said, "You need some serious saving. Looks like I've got my work cut out for me." She tells Gunn to plan on having her in his life for a while: "At least until you find some peace." Gunn says that it could be a while before he found peace, and Cordy self-righteously declares, "Helping people, that's what me and my friends[sic] do." Even though Cordy accused Gunn of being rude, he doesn't point out that his life will be much more peaceful if she's not part of it. Nor does he mention that he wouldn't have been ambushed by Deevak if he hadn't been dragged to the garage in search of the car Cordy lost. Nor does he point out that he wouldn't have been at the party where Veronica got hurt if he hadn't gone there to help Cordy. Gunn is very, very polite, when you think about it. Maybe too polite. All he says is, "Lucky me." He gets into his truck, and Cordy demands the "thank you" that she said she didn't deserve. Gunn smiles at her. Cordy grins, thinking that Gunn's pleasant smile indicates gratitude. And not, say, a barely restrained desire to punch her. He drives away.
Angel walks through the hotel lobby and pauses when Darla calls, "Honey? You're home." She's wearing a muted red flowered dress this time. And there's a bright red loveseat in the lobby. Because they're subtle with the symbolism like that. Darla observes that Angel looks tired, and asks, "Did you save any lives today?" Angel says, "A few, yeah," in dispirited tones. She asks if anyone thanked Angel for his help, and he says that they didn't. "Typical," Darla responds. "You know, time I see them, I am really going to say something to them." Angel says that it's okay, but Darla disagrees. "You give, and you give, and you give." "I'm used to it," Angel says, his martyr complex in full bloom. Darla says Angel is always the protector, never the protected. Whatever that means, since he's not being threatened by anything. Angel says he has a lot to make up for. "And you have!" Darla insists. "You take care of so many people, but who takes care of you?" Is her voice really that annoying in real life? Or is this affected? I hope it's affected, because that's just sad if not. Angel starts smirking, and looks at her, and his face shatters with the effort of smiling as he admits, "You do." Darla agrees, and leads him to the loveseat. He collapses onto it, and she unnecessarily tells him to lean back. Oh, merciful heavens. She climbs astride him and says, "Now you just relax and let Darla take care of you." They kiss, and Darla stoically endures multiple stigmata as she presses her hand against his hair.
Cut to Angel smiling in bed. Cut to Angel sitting up on the loveseat with Darla on top of him. She helps pull his sweater off. I moan in despair. "How's that?" she asks. Angel says it's good. It isn't. It's the opposite of good. Especially when Darla leans forward and says, "I'm just getting started, baby." She slides down his torso and we cut back to Angel in bed while she says in voice-over, "I know how to please you." And then someone seriously screws up in editing. We cut to a shot from the side of Angel in bed, and immediately, with a dramatic chord, Darla's hand creeps into the frame. Memo to the post-production team: there needed to be a second of nothing happening in that shot for the hand's sudden appearance to be scary. It's a shame, too, because that would have been effective. Anyway, in what we laughingly call reality, Darla is creeping up onto Angel in bed, and continuing her seduction speech: "All you have to do is let me." An overhead shot establishes that Darla ain't wearing much of anything. She kisses him and sucks on his lip and then does something the captioning describes thusly: "[coos]." She concludes, "I could just eat you up." Fade out. Is she meant to be doing a third-class Catwoman impression? If so, she's doing a great job. If she's meant to be doing a first-class Catwoman impression, on the other hand, there's plenty of room for improvement.