Previously on Angel, Darla spawned Angelus, Angelus got a soul, Kate found out that Angel was a vampire, Lindsey made a series of unfortunate hairstyling choices, and Angel stole a prophetic scroll from Wolfram & Hart.
Wesley studies the scroll in Angel's office, muttering, "Shanshu." Cordy asks why it's taking him so long to figure out what it means. Wesley snaps that the prophecies were written "over the past four thousand years in a dozen different languages, some of which aren't even human." He adds, "Why don't we just get a Falanjoid demon in here, suck the brain out of my skull? Maybe that would speed things up!" I don't see how, but it certainly sounds entertaining. Cordy says, "Hurry up and figure out what it says about Angel, 'cause I want to know what it says about me." Cordy has outdone herself by wearing a fringed net top so horrible that I don't even wait for the commercial break before calling Johanna to complain about it. The camera pans over the building directory, which allows us to learn that in addition to Angel Investigations, the building also contains Casas Manufacturing, John Folger, DDS (previously mentioned in "Somnambulist"), and Herbert Stein. A figure in a long, purple robe skulks through the building. Cordy asks if everyone remembers "born-again lawyer boy who wanted out of Wolfram & Hart so bad." They do. Cordy says, "They just promoted him. Junior Partner," and reveals a newspaper story with a big photo of Lindsey. The headline reads, "Wolfram and Hart Promote McDonald." What is she reading, the Wolfram & Hart corporate newsletter? Because in a city the size of Los Angeles, Lindsey's promotion would not merit too many column inches. Wesley whines that Lindsey has sold his soul for thirty pieces of silver, which is a really good way of putting it since Lindsey is like Judas in exactly the same way that Angel is like Christ. Not at all, in other words. Angel hears a noise and says, "It's a little late for visitors." Tense music builds as he walks to the foyer and sees the robed person lurking there. Angel taps the skulker's shoulder. With a startled scream, the person turns and pulls his hood down to reveal that he is David Nabbit. Angel apologizes for scaring him, and David says, "That was awesome! Can we do it again?" Oh. My. Wesley asks if David needs something, and David explains that he just dropped in to visit. He says, "I blew off my board of directors because tonight's my turn to be dungeon master." Then shouldn't he be off doing that, instead of breaking into offices? His voice squeaking, David asks, "You guys want to hang?" After a pause in which no one answers, David strolls into the office cooing over how exciting it is to see "where it all happens." He takes a seat on the couch and says, "What did I do today? Spun off my digital pager network. Made a few more million. Well, all right. several. Big whoop." He says that their lives are meaningful and exciting because they fight demons, adding, "At any moment one of them could walk right through that very door!" Everyone slowly turns to look at the open doorway. Demons fail to present themselves. After a long silence, David asks, "You guys seen any cool demons lately?"
Two people in brown monastic robes are doing a spell around a circle drawn on the ground. And not in the way that Willow and Tara do spells. The monks chant, "For as it was written, he of pure darkness shall come into the light." The monks move away, and the circle bursts into flames. A dark figure appears in the middle. Sadly, it is not Johnny Cash, performing "Ring of Fire." Actually, it's refugee from an Ingmar Bergman movie, wearing a black hooded robe and a gold mask. And he's a got a chin cleft that would make Kirk Douglas jealous. He steps out of the circle and walks over to Holland, Lilah, and Lindsey, who are standing outside the Wolfram & Hart office building. Holland greets him as he approaches, flanked by the monks, and they all proceed inside.
During the credits, I complain to Johanna about the David Nabbit character. Do the writers understand that, if they've got a show about vampires and demons and supernatural stuff, a large portion of their audience will be geeks? And so maybe they shouldn't make jokes about geeks using this stupid stereotype, because that might alienate their audience? Especially when the jokes aren't funny, and the character is pointless and so lazily written that it defies comprehension, and have I complained about Cordy's shirt yet? I have? Damn, this show makes me angry.
After the ads, David is still struggling to break out of his cookie-cutter. After some stammering attempts to make conversation, he jumps up and says, "Good to see you," and leaves. See? Completely pointless. Wesley suddenly declares that he may know what "shanshu" means. Cordy and her fringe hop up to sit on the desk as Wesley pores over the scroll again. Wesley hesitates, then finally admits that "shanshu" just might translate as "death." Cordy protests, "But you said it was all about the vampire with a soul. Angel's going to die?" Angel looks up from the book he's been reading and says, "Oh. Anything else?" I don't know why Wesley and Cordy are so disturbed, since no one has said anything suggesting that he's going to die soon. In fact, Wesley immediately makes that same point, saying, "It's probably years off. After the coming battles." He tells Angel that there's no reason to be concerned, but since Angel isn't, Wesley becomes concerned that Angel isn't even a little bit concerned. Luckily, this vicious circle is interrupted when Cordy has a blipverty vision of an old woman being attacked by a slime demon. She tells Angel that the demon lives beside a waste treatment plant in El Segundo. ["Ew. I'd wager that's where all slime demons come from." -- Wing Chun] Angel rushes off to the rescue while Cordy takes some aspirin and complains, "[If] I ever meet those Powers That Be, I'm gonna punch 'em in the nose!" You might want to take some action against whoever picks out your clothes, too, Cordy.
Cut to the Wolfram & Hart offices. Darth Spindle gripes, "You lost the scroll of Aberjian?" Holland explains that it was stolen, and Darth says, "The raising cannot be performed without the scroll." Lindsey says that it's his fault, so he'll get the scroll back. Darth whirls and tells Lindsey, "You will do nothing. I will retrieve the scroll myself." He asks who has it, and Holland says with a hint of embarrassment, "Angel." Darth is vexed: "I am summoned for the raising, the very thing that was to bring this creature down to us, tear him from the Powers That Be, and he has the scroll?" Lilah says that they're aware of the irony. Darth says that Angel's connection to the Powers That Be is complete, but Lilah insists that Angel hasn't had time to study the prophecies yet. Darth says, "No, and he won't. All avenues to the Powers shall be cut off from him, and the scroll returned to us." And off he goes.
Kate arrives at an alley where two uniformed cops are waiting. One tells the other, "Told you she'd show. She listens for the nut calls on her scanner." The second cop asks, "Sure she doesn't pick up the radio waves on her brain chip?" Kate, whose hair is not at its best, walks up, and the first cop tells her that some "otherworldly howling and wailing" was reported. She tells them to stay put, and strolls into the alley, ignoring their offers for backup, "or a ouija board." As she walks along, we hear Angel's voice coming from behind a dumpster. He says, "Just relax, you're fine." Angel and a bag lady walk out toward Kate, and the bag lady says, "He saved me from one of their spies. And by the way, I don't appreciate the dental association watching me like that." She walks on while Angel stops to chat with Kate. Kate demands to know what Angel killed, and he tells her it was a slime demon. He tells her, "I know this hasn't been easy for you. It's okay. Most people can't handle what's really out here, Kate. Maybe you should think about --" Kate's laughter interrupts him, and she explains, "Someone who's not even a person lecturing me on 'most people.' It's kind of funny." But not funnier than gratuitous geek jokes, right? Kate continues, "I can handle it fine. And I don't care about most people, or what they think of me. What I do care about is ridding this city of your kind." She clarifies that by "his kind," she means the vampires who killed her father. As Angel stares at her, she asks, "Did you think I'd just forget about that? I don't forget anything." And away she stomps.
After the "Ray of Light" high-speed city scene, we cut to Wesley and Cordy back at the office. He tells her, "Every resource says it's death." Cordy replies, "Angel faces death all the time. Just like a normal guy faces waffles and french fries. It's something he faces every day. Like lunch. Are you hungry?" While she starts munching on a doughnut, Wesley says that he's more concerned about how calmly Angel took the news that his death was prophesied. Cordy claims that the calm reaction just demonstrates that "Angel's cool." I beg to differ. Wesley insists, "Angel's cut off. It doesn't bother him because there's nothing in life he wants. It's our desires that make us human." But Angel does want stuff. And other demons want stuff, or they wouldn't be such a problem. Wesley goes on about Angel being in the world, but not of the world, only he doesn't put it like that.
As Cordy goes for another doughnut, Wesley grabs it from her and asks, "What connects us to life?" Cordy snaps, "Right now? I'm going with doughnuts." Does anyone else remember when Magnum got shot and had visions in which Mac told him, "Time has little to do with infinity and jelly doughnuts." Does anyone else have a hard time paying attention to this show? Just asking. Wesley insists, "What connects us to life is a simple truth that we're a part of it. We live, we grow, we change. But Angel --" "Can't do any of those things," Cordy finishes sadly. Cordy says that she and Wesley have to do something to help Angel, and that "he's going to have to start wanting things from life whether he wants to or not!" Because if he wants things, he'll be "connected to life," and then he'll be much more upset about the fact that he'll die, which is a good thing because....No. I'm not even going to attempt to make sense of this conversation.
Angel arrives from downstairs, and Cordy asks if he wants some coffee. He doesn't, so she offers him a doughnut. Angel chuckles and insists, "I don't want anything." Cordy looks stricken, and Angel asks what's going on. My theory at this point is that Cordy is PMSing. Wesley hesitantly explains that they were talking about how Angel has few desires. Cordy blurts out, "You're cut off from life. But don't worry; I'm gonna help you with that." "Oh, good," Angel mutters. Cordy says, "We'll start small, keep it simple. How would you like a puppy?" Heh. Angel has no reaction as Cordy suggests a ficus plant or an ant farm as alternatives. Wesley decides it's time to extricate himself from this scene, and explains he's going to visit some rare book shops, looking for references to help him translate the prophecy. He observes, "It's probably not a good idea to take the scroll with me." Angel offers to lock in up in his weapons cabinet. Wesley suggests that Angel should consult the Oracles, but Angel doesn't think that's necessary. After Wesley leaves, Cordy nags, "Oracles? Get out of the house? Could be fun!" Angel does the only sensible thing he can, and steps into the elevator to go back downstairs.
At their Fortress of Basic Set Design, Mr. and Mrs. Oracle are ticked off. "How dare you enter this sacred space?" asks Mrs. Oracle, adding, "We do not appreciate being summoned by a lower being." Mr. Oracle adds, "Who knows no better than to come here on a whim." The camera pulls back to reveal the non-surprise that their visitor is not Angel, but Darth Spindle, who says he is not there on a whim. Mrs. Oracle says, "We do not counsel your kind. The powers of darkness are not allowed to cross this threshold. How did you get in?" Darth says, "The old order passes away, and the new order is come. He that was first, shall now be last, and he that is dead shall now arise." Mrs. Oracle is unimpressed, and says, "Yes, and he that is trespassing shall now depart." Darth puts one arm behind a back and, as Mr. Oracle says, "We shall speak no more," a shiny scythe materializes in Darth's hand. Darth almost says, "Apology accepted, Captain Needa," but just in time remembers that his line is actually, "Yes, I know."
Cordy visits a street festival. Or something. I don't know. There's lots of booths, a creepy silver mime, a juggler, and a guy singing a song that goes, "But the devil, he can't touch me, 'cause brick by brick I'm building my own hell." And we're all there with him. Cordelia strolls past a rack of Hawaiian shirts, and I think that the mystery of where she gets her clothes is about to be solved. Then she approaches a table loaded with art supplies, with a sign that says "Art attack!" She tells the wacky hippie girl at the table, "I'm just looking for something for a friend. I thought maybe if he had a hobby... He's a little detached from things." The hippie tells Cordy, "They say art's the best therapy for that," and explains about how mental institutions use art therapy. I've got this book from the 1940s about play therapy, that mentions having kids mold puppet heads out of paste, water, and powdered asbestos. Whoops! Anyway, Cordy explains that Angel isn't crazy, he's "just different." "Depressed?" the hippie asks. Cordy replies, "Well, he wears a lot of black." She asks how much a set of pastels are, and the hippie starts her pitch about the various products. The sound fades out as Darth walks through the crowd unnoticed. Cordy ends up purchasing two heaping bags of art supplies and starts to walk away. Darth passes her, and his hand brushes against hers, which is empty in the close-up. Cordy looks around, confused, and starts to walk on when she suddenly has a painful vision of what looks like a very unhappy priest. She pulls herself together, and takes out her cell phone. Another vision hits, of a woman in a phone booth, and a little boy, and another unhappy person. Cordy screams in pain, and people around her stare as more blurry visions of demons and flames and the priest's bloody hands flash on the screen. She collapses, knocking over some pictures, and people look at her, perhaps wondering if this is a piece of performance art. She sees a hanging victim, and a demon, and a man in what looks like the Wolfram & Hart vault, and another really gross demon, and finally the hippie girl runs out to help her as all the other shoppers, and one spooky black robed figure, walk past Cordy's writhing body.
Cut to Angel's office, with a quick blipvert of Cordy in pain. Darth enters the office as, downstairs, Angel is looking over the scroll. Darth watches from around a corner as Angel rolls up the scroll and puts it safely way in his antique wooden weapons cabinet, which no one could possibly break open with something as simple as a crowbar. Angel turns and walks away, allowing us to see Darth calmly waiting down at the end of the hallway. After a second, Angel stops and looks down the hall, but Darth is gone. The phone rings. Angel answers and, after saying a few things like, "I'm her employer. She doesn't have any family in town, what happened?" he hangs the phone up and rushes out the door. Instantly Darth marches over to the weapons cabinet, snaps the latch as he pulls it open, and grabs the scroll. Then he puts something we can't see in the cabinet and closes the doors.
Angel hurries to the "neuro-psychiatric center" at the hospital. A nurse tells him that Cordelia is with a doctor right now as we hear Cordy scream from off-camera. Angel hurries toward the sound as the nurse protests. Several people are helping to hold Cordy down as a doctor suggests "Another five mils of Ativan!" when Angel runs in. A doctor stops him and asks, "Are you family?" "Yes!" Angel says, and leans over Cordy, holding her shoulders. The doctor asks if Cordy has a history of mental illness or drug use, and tells Angel that Cordy is having a psychotic episode. The doctor says, "We've done a CAT scan, there's no organic damage that we can see, but we can't seem to sedate her." Angel holds Cordy's head and asks if she can hear him. Cordy wails and sees people reaching out, and a man crying behind a closed door. Cordy wails and struggles and cries and, to be fair, it's pretty unpleasant to watch. The doctor says, "I need to inform you, if we don't find a way to stop it..." Angel looks up at the doctor.
Apparently we'll never know what the rest of that sentence was, because we cut to Wesley, returning to the office with some new reference books. He walks down the stairs and notices that the weapons cabinet has been damaged. He pulls the doors open, looks inside, and quickly backs away. Angel pulls up outside the building. Doesn't he have a garage in the building? Yes. Isn't it convenient that this time he decided to park on the street? Yes, because as he steps out of the car and walks toward the front door, the building explodes. Neat!
After the commercials, Angel descends into the smoldering ruins of his apartment, shouting for Wesley. He turns out to be collapsed on a stairway, unconscious and bloody. Angel picks him up and carries him outside, and I am forced to accept the fact that the building's mysterious floorplan will forever be a mystery. Police and firemen have gathered outside, and Wesley is quickly carried off to the hospital in an ambulance. Kate suddenly pops up out of nowhere and says to Angel, "Never a dull moment when you're around, is there?" Shows how much she knows. Angel says he has to go, but Kate says he's a witness at a crime scene, so he's not going anywhere. Angel asks, "You want to try and stop me?" Kate sniffs, "I'm glad we're not playing friends any more, and I am real sick and tired of your attitude. There's a thing called the law --" Angel says, "This isn't about the law, this is about a little thing called life." I don't know about his attitude, but I'm definitely sick and tired of this dialogue. Angel goes on, "Now I'm sorry about your father, but I didn't kill your father, and I'm sick and tired of you blaming me for everything you can't handle! Now, you want to be enemies? Try me." And away he goes.
Wesley lies quietly in a hospital bed. Angel stares at him dully before walking upstairs to see Cordy. I sure hope he provided medical insurance as an employee benefit. Cordy stares up blankly, seeing only her visions, and looking very sad. Poor Cordy. Angel stands by her bed and grips her hand. Aw. He says, "Cordelia, I'm gonna fix this. I promise. I'm gonna get you back. I need you back." I think we're supposed to be feel warm and fuzzy because Angel didn't need anything before, but now he does. However, since he did need things before, he just didn't need coffee or doughnuts, it's hard to be to moved by this revelation. Suddenly he notices a little black curlicue on the back of her hand.
Angel holds a picture of the curlicue as he does the hoodoo that allows him to visit the Oracles. He steps into the Fortress of Basic Set Design and looks down to see their bloody bodies lying on the floor, along with the scythe. Then he hears Mrs. Oracle say, "It's unfortunate." He looks to see a stupid see-through version of Mrs. Oracle looking down at her body. She says, "Things are unraveling." Like the last vestiges of my respect for this show. "The dark ones broach our temples now," she sniffs. Angel asks if she can help him, and she answers, "I can't stay long. I've been dead a while. So far I don't like it." Mrs. Oracle says that the curlicue is "his mark, the one who did this." Angel asks who that is, and she tells him, "Vocah, warrior of the underworld." She says, "He wants you weak, so he opened her mind to all the ones who cry out in pain and need. She doesn't have long, either." Angel asks what he should do, and Mrs. Oracle says that Vocah has the scroll, and Angel needs to get it back. "The words of Anatole, only they can remove the mark and save your friend." Angel promises to get revenge on Vocah for killing the Oracles. Mrs. Oracle tells Angel, "He's here for the raising," and that "like so many of them, he hides behind man's law." With a final instruction to stop Vocah, she fades away. Angel says he will, and picks up the bloody scythe.
We've seen David Nabbit, we've seen Kate, we've seen the Oracles (for the last time, I hope). Are there any other recurring characters that can be trotted on-screen as a cheap substitute for decent plotlines? Why, yes, there is: Gunn! He and some of his Found Boys are loading the truck up with leftover food from a restaurant as he says, "A lot of hungry people gonna appreciate this. You're doing God's work here. If God was a busboy, he'd look just like you, Jesus." Tires squeal as Angel pulls up, and the Found Boys start pulling out crossbows. When he sees Angel, Gunn says, "Put 'em down; I know this fool." I prefer it when people call Angel a "great poof," but that wouldn't really sound right coming from Gunn, and "fool" is pretty close. Angel says he needs Gunn's help. Gunn says, "I figured you didn't roar in here to ask me after my health. It's pretty good, by the way. You getting enough iron? You look a little pale." Angel says he needs another favor. Gunn responds, "If it's tossing a vampire in with them lawyers, I'm in, 'cause that was my idea of a good time." Angel, shooting for intensity but ending up somewhere closer to nervous, says, "My people, they're in the hospital, St. Matthew's. One's in ICU, one's in the neuro-psychiatric unit. They need protection while I hunt down the guy who put 'em there." Gunn asks, "He gonna come for them himself or send someone?" Angel says either way, he won't get them, adding, "These people mean a lot to me." Gunn nods and says, "I'm gettin' that." Johanna and I agreed that when Angel said "These people mean a lot to me," we didn't particularly believe him. But when Gunn says that he believed it, suddenly we did, too. He actually transfers credibility to anyone else in a scene with him. Which makes the fact that he was in this episode for a grand total of fifty-seven seconds completely inexplicable. I can't bear to go back and see how much screen time David Nabbit got, because I'd probably cry if I knew.
At a mausoleum (at least I think that's what it's meant to be), five unhappy vampires are chained to a large box of wood and metal. Didn't I see David Copperfield do this bit on television once? Vocah and his monks enter the room, and the monks chant: "We have prepared a holy place in the darkness, and anointed it with oil. We have taken the blood of the living, and gathered together the living dead." Vocah holds the scroll and says, "As it was written, they shall prepare the way, and the very gates of hell shall open. That which is above shall tremble, for that which is below shall arise. And the world shall know the beast, and the beast shall know the world." We zoom in close on one of the box's barred windows, but can't see anything inside it.
Angel watches as Holland, Lilah and Lindsey, along with some nameless proto-lawyers, step out of the Wolfram & Hart building. Lilah worries that they're going to be late, but Holland says, "You never want to be on time for a ritual. The chanting, the blood rites -- they go on forever." Lindsey instructs two guys to follow them, and the guys get into a large truck. Before they all get into their limousines, Holland tells Lindsey "I know you've covered all the bases here," and, "The senior partners are keeping a close eye on this. We don't want to let them down." Lindsey says they won't, and Holland gets in the car. Lilah stops to ask Lindsey, "Remember when Robert Price let the senior partners down, and they made him eat his liver?" Lindsey stares at her, and Lilah says, "I don't know what made me think of that." The limos and the truck head off, and Angel gets into his car and follows them.
The chained vamps continue to struggle lamely as Vocah says, "Five are without breath." The monks answer, "Yet they live." Vocah says, "Five are without time." Again the monks say, "Yet they live." The pack of lawyers arrive and watches from the doorway. Vocah says, "Five are without soul," and the monks repeat their line again. Holland checks his watch and says, "They haven't even gotten to the Latin yet." Vocah says "Five are without sun," and you know what? "Yet they live." Suddenly Vocah stops, put the scroll down on the box's top, and walks to the far side of the room. Everyone wonders if Vocah is ad-libbing. Vocah materializes another scythe in his hands just as Angel crashes through a window grating and attacks with his own scythe. Watching from the sidelines, Holland complains, "Lindsey..." While Vocah and Angel battle, Lindsey steps forward and picks the scroll up. "Five are dead," he reads. When the monks don't respond, he yells, "Say it!" at them, and they dutifully respond, "Yet they live." Lindsey reads: "Et ille quinque sacrificum est. Et ille que est mortuus vivet." Holland tells Lilah to go bring the movers in. Off camera, someone bangs two metal poles together rhythmically to simulate the sounds of an off-screen fight. Lindsey continues, "Dum vita et mors nom duas res sed unas sunt." Vocah hurls Angel across the room so that he crashes into the monks. Lindsey reads, "In tenebris lux est. In luge tenebrae sunt. Serge! Serge!" The ground begins to shake, and the vamps suddenly dissolve into a dust cloud which spins around the box. Lindsey keeps chanting, "Serge!" as the dust cloud whirls into the box. Then waves of light explode out of the box, knocking Lindsey into a wall across the room before he collapses.
Angel and Vocah are still fighting as the movers run in and begin pulling the box toward the door. The lawyers leave with their box. Vocah and Angel finally get to take center stage, and there's clanging and leaping and some annoying camera work. Lindsey begins picking himself up off the floor as Angel manages to pull Vocah's scythe out of his hands and push him up against a wall. For reasons which defy comprehension, Angel pushes his scythe sideways into Vocah's mask until the mask finally flips off, revealing...well he's got a lot of maggots instead of an actual nose, basically. "Nice," says Angel, as if Vocah's face is somehow too tacky to be borne, and then swing the scythe, causing something squishy to happen.
Lindsey grabs a long metal cross and waves it at Angel defensively. Angel tells Lindsey to give him the scroll. Lindsey says, "That's not going to happen. It belongs to us." Angel complains, "You put your faith in Wolfram & Hart." Lindsey points out, "You said I had to make a choice." He goes on, "I had a crisis, and I want to thank you for your help with that, but I'm seeing things more clearly now." Angel lectures, "You don't see anything, you don't know what faith is." Lindsey says that what has happened was foretold, and that the prophecies don't bode well for Angel. He adds, "I see you're either the one with the power, or you're powerless." Angel asks, "Do you see what's gonna happen to you if you don't give me that scroll?" Lindsey reminds the audience that Angel needs the scroll to cure Cordelia, who connects Angel to the Powers That Be. He says, "And since it's foretold that we sever all your connections, well..." Lindsey backs up and holds the scroll over a blazing cauldron. Angel throws the scythe and neatly whacks Lindsey's hand off so that the scroll goes flying away. Well, that's not what happens if you watch it in slow-motion, but let's not spoil things. Lindsey screams and grasps his bloody stump as Angel steps over and picks up the scroll from where it rests, near a plastic bloody hand. Angel tells Lindsey, "I am your father." Wait, no, he says, "Don't believe everything you're foretold." Oh, my head.
A battered but conscious Wesley sits by Cordelia's bed and reads from the scroll. The captions are slightly different from what he says, but neither version is really interesting so let's skip to the bit where Wesley says, "Three times shall thou say these words: unbind, unbind, unbind." A nurse outside sees a bright light flash in Cordy's room and runs to investigate. Angel looks at Cordy's hand and sees that Vocah's mark is gone. Angel grins down as Cordy looks around and sees him. She says, "Angel," and looks happy to see him, and then cries a little. The nurse goes for a doctor as Cordy tells Angel, "I saw them all. And there's so much pain. We have to help them." Angel tells her that they will, and strokes her cheek, and I have to say, "Aw," because I'm a sucker for sickbed scenes.
Some time later, the gang is hanging out at Cordy's apartment. Which looks really different, but maybe it's just being shot from different angles than usual. Wesley has the scrolls and his reference materials spread out on the dining room table. Wesley says he may have found something: "The beast of Amalfie. A razor-toothed, six-eyed, harbinger of death. No, wait. That's due to arise in 2003 in Reseda." Angel makes his last lame quip of the season by saying, "I would have guessed Tarzana." Cordy strolls in with some sandwiches as Wesley admits that he can't figure out what Wolfram & Hart raised in their spooky box. Cordy tells Wesley to "relax and recharge the brain cells" and offers him a sandwich. Wesley looks at Angel, confused, and Cordy hands Angel a plastic cup of blood. Angel hesitates, and Cordy says, "Don't be embarrassed. We're family." Angel takes the cup, and Cordy gives him a quick thumbs-up. Cordy is wearing a perfectly fine blouse and cute pants, and a suede fringed choker. I just don't understand her. Anyway, Cordy asks why Wesley looks so astonished, and he starts to stammer something about being unused to things. Angel translates, "He's not used to the new you." A new Cordelia? But we liked the old Cordelia! Except her clothes, but those don't seem to have changed. Cordy says, "I know what's out there now. We have a lot of evil to fight, a lot of people to help." Oh, no, no, no, can't we have one fun character who doesn't want to save the world? Please? Cordy tells Angel, "I just hope that skin and bones here can figure out what those lawyers raised sometime before that prophecy kicks in and you croak." After a second she adds, "That was the old me, wasn't it?" Angel diplomatically says, "I like 'em both." Then Wesley, still looking at his books, says, "Oops. I may have made a tiny mistake." He says that the word "shanshu" may mean that Angel will live, not die. Cordy says that "as tiny mistakes go, that's not one." Wesley offers a lot of explanation about the "proto-Bantu" roots of the word before getting to the point. He says, "They consider life and death the same thing, it's part of a cycle. Only a thing that's not alive never dies. It's saying that, that you get to live until you die. It's saying -- it's saying you become human." Going back to the prophecy, Wesley re-translates: "The vampire with a soul, once he fulfills his destiny, will shanshu -- become human." Wesley looks up and says, "It's his reward!" Cordy says, "Wow. Angel, human.". Angel looks unmoved, but finally admits, "That'd be nice." Then Cordy asks what destiny must be fulfilled first. Wesley says, "He has to survive the coming darkness, the apocalyptic battles, a few plagues, some -- oh, several, but not that many -- fiends that will be unleashed." Angel says they shouldn't break out the champagne yet, but Cordy says that they should, and then calls him "Pinocchio" before saying, "This is a big deal." Angel grins smugly and says, "I guess it is." Cordy says, "Typical. I hook up with the only person in history who ever came to L.A. to get older." Johanna says, "Cordelia is really the last person who should talk about people getting older."
The mysterious box sits in the vault at Wolfram & Hart. Lilah, Lindsey, and Holland step into the room. Lindsey's arm is bandaged up and in a sling. Holland tells Lindsey, "The senior partners were very impressed with your sacrifice." Lindsey looks annoyed at that news, but Holland adds, "Trust me. We'll even the score with him." Lindsey agrees, and Holland says, "Beginning with what's in that box." Lilah leans over to peer through the box's windows and says, "We're all very pleased [that] you're here. I know it's a bit confusing, but it's going to be better soon. A lot better --" The camera jerks inside and we see a naked, terrified looking girl with ratty hair shaking inside the box, as Lilah finishes her line for the dramatic cliffhanger, "-- Darla." You know, the girl who turned Angel into a vampire in the first place? And who he killed on the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Thank goodness I've got all summer to lower my expectations for this non-plot non-development.