It's back-to-back Top Model episodes tonight, including the finale! We begin with Andre Leon Talley visiting the girls at home to deliver bouquets and wisdom about being in the world of international fashion. Turns out he wears a cape/muumuu at all times, not just at panel. The girls get to ask him questions, and we learn that Andy Warhol gave him his first job and that he at one time lived at the YMCA! Angelea can relate to the hardscrabble part of his past.
The girls are told that they're going to head to Queenstown, home of beautiful and diverse terrain, for their photo shoot. On the plane, the Jays pop out to tell them that this is in fact a runway challenge, 35,000 feet in the air. I have my doubts about whether they were actually flying or not, but we'll put those aside for the moment. The lesson is: top models always need to be prepared. Angelea is not so prepared, as she only has one high heeled shoe. How did that even happen? The girls have to walk down the center aisle of the plane with personality. Alex has some cute flight-attendant moves, but hams it up just a bit too much. Angelea does a version of her crazy-ass club walk, and Raina's "flirty and fun" reads "linebacker." It's Krista who once again dominates the challenge with her bouncy, smiley, jacket-working walk. She wins the opportunity to walk in New Zealand fashion week and a whole bunch of jewelry.
When the girls get to Queenstown, they encounter mountains, valleys and sheep. The scenery is pretty, and the girls are going to have to be ugly. They're styled in extreme hair, makeup and clothes, and will have to push through and sell whatever it is they're selling. Jay puts everyone on edge by announcing that two contestants will be eliminated. With their corsets, poufy hair, and black lipstick, the girls have a kind of goth Wuthering Heights thing going on, with various degrees of ugliness. Alexandra seems to get the worst of it. She looks uncomfortable, and though her photo is okay, it's nobody's favorite. Raina's shots are good, but she still has problems being ugly and edgy enough. Angelea is a bit bland, and her photo is oddly blurry when it's shown at panel. Perhaps this is why Tyra says she looks like a ghost. Krista does a good job and actually almost brings ALT to tears. She's the first one to get a photo and be guaranteed a spot in the final two. This is only right, since she's dominated the second half of the season. The second finalist is Raina, leaving Alex and Angelea to pack their bags. Raina and Krista learn that they'll be walking in a personality-filled fashion show for Anna Sui.
Previously: Tyra got to see some of the girls work magic with shadow and light at a shoot where she was a photographer. Who knew holding a tablecloth or wicker chair over yourself was so high fashion? Jessica and Raina struggled to bring edge to their photos, and it was Jessica and her commercial kiss-of-death who got the inevitable boot. Four bitches remain! And this is part one of a two-hour season finale, which is another piece of evidence to support the theory that Tyra lives to torture me. (Piece of evidence number one: Super Smize.)
The remaining girls return to their amazing New Zealand penthouse and celebrate being the final four. Krista's best-of-week photo is displayed as digital art, and the panel comments overlaid on it tell us that she's a classy, mythological androgyne. Who isn't these days? Krista, who is also some sort of mythological statistician, says that they all have a 25% chance of winning this shit. She tells us that it was scary getting best picture three weeks in a row, because your photo could be crap. You have to go above and beyond the good work that you've already done so you're consistently improving. What this girl has is tenacity and a work ethic. When she first told us that she tried out for the show, like, twelve times, I thought that meant that she was completely delusional. And then she came on the show and gradually started kicking skinny model ass and taking names, and totally proved me wrong. Good for her. Krista doesn't want to go back to being a store manager, and knows that -- at the ripe old age of 24 -- this is her last chance to be a model. She's not going to let anybody take it away from her. E.g., she will rip the weave right off your head and make herself a vest from it, if that's what it takes.
Alexandra tells us that she hasn't won best photo yet, and so was upset that she didn't have her name called first at the last panel. Krista, of course, beat her. However, Alex thinks she'll be in the final two. To be a plus-sized model, she says, you have to be so much more than every other girl around you. Forty pounds more, to be precise. When you hire a plus-sized model, Alex says, you know you're getting kick-ass personality and amazing confidence. I don't know. I think plus-sized models can be just as boring and insecure as everyone else. I guess you do have to give them points for eating more than a plate of lettuce with balsamic vinegar for dinner, though.
Raina stands between Krista and Alex, and sticks a hand slash mock-microphone in Alex's face and asks, "What do you have to say about being in the final four?" Alex pushes Raina's hand away with disgust for her utter dorkiness. Alex says that Raina acts like a twelve-year old, and it is difficult if not impossible to engage her in a genuine conversation. Raina runs around the house yelling, "Final four!" and dancing, and Alex looks at her like she's a total idiot. Which, maybe. Alex thinks she's more relatable than Raina, but concedes that Raina might be able to ride her strong face all the way to the top. That sounds really gross, but you know what she means. Raina tells Krista that she never thought she'd make it this far. Krista says, again with disgust, "I knew you would. That face." Raina tells us that the other girls don't like her. She thinks this is because they're irritated at not being able to upset, bother or hurt her. I think it's actually because she's just irritating. Raina says she's a really happy person. If she becomes America's Top Model, she's going to use as her story the tale of starting off as a really insecure girl who was picked on relentlessly by so many people. We see some childhood photos of Raina, and though she sports no front teeth and a mullet in one, she's totally cute in the other. Volleyball and modeling have boosted her confidence. Every day she's getting better, and hopefully that's an inspiration to others. And I mean, if you're a young girl I guess it's better to be inspired by Raina than a Pussycat Doll.
Angelea, meanwhile, is still mad that Krista keeps winning. Additionally, Raina has only been in the bottom one time and Alex has gone from the worst to second-to-the-best. Angelea says that she came into all of this with no experience, but knows that America is ready to see someone like her be America's Top Model. Someone who is batshit crazy? Yes, yes we are.
Without further ado, Andre Leon Talley enters the girls' home wearing his judging cloak (which is apparently just an everyday cloak that he also wears at judging!) and holding four giant bouquets of flowers. Tyra sent him there to talk to the girls, and perhaps to put a spell on them to make them all more interesting. Krista says they were shocked to see him, and afraid that he might accuse them of dreckitude given that they're in their casual gear. And then it's time for some words of wisdom from Angelea. I'm just going to give this to you verbatim, because that's how it's best served: "Andre, he gave us all flowers -- real flowers, not fake flowers. I'll bet these flowers cost a lot of money, and if they didn't, good job Andre, because I believe they did." It's possible that the only flowers Angelea has ever seen in Buffalo are the fake single roses (some of which play music!) at the gas station, so this must be a real treat.
ALT wants to talk to the girls about what it's like to be in the world of fashion. He gives them a little rundown about how things work in Paris, Milan, Tokyo, and Milan again. The Milanese designers love to eat good food and want to see you enjoying their lifestyle. Not too much, though, or else you get too fat to walk in fashion week. You don't have to actually bow to Japanese designers, but you do have to be very polite. Designers love to have conversations with models, says ALT. If you're in Paris and Karl Lagerfeld asks you to come to dinner, the sky has opened. Literally, I think. And then you get to have a meal of sautéed clouds, which is Karl Lagerfeld's favorite dinner.
ALT then takes questions from the girls, which is my favorite part of the season so far, aside from the runway pendulum disaster. Krista asks about the origins of "dreckitude." ALT explains that "dreck" means a dreadful train wreck. Have none of these girls ever heard that word before? And frankly, it doesn't take all that much imagination to add "itude" to the end of a word, particularly when you're prone to speaking random words in French anyway. Krista then asks what it's like to work for Vogue. ALT says that it's an extraordinary experience. He's been in shoots with the best of the best -- he's been with the best actresses, and traveled with the best supermodels to exotic places. He's been there for a long time and loves it and says he'll never give it up.
Angelea asks ALT how he got started. ALT says that he wanted to be in fashion all of his life, and was encouraged to go to New York. He says that when he was the age of the girls he went to New York, where he was very insecure and afraid and had no money. But! ALT worked for Andy Warhol! Amazing, right? Andy Warhol gave him his first job for $50 a week. ALT was basically Andy Warhol's bitch -- he licked stamps, took telephone messages, and went to get Warhol's lunch every day. ALT moved into the YMCA and lived with cockroaches, both real and human. But he took the job with Warhol because he knew it was going to get him to the step. Angelea tells us that she likes Andre, because they've been through similar things. I bet ALT totally slept in the Port Authority, too! When you try to make it, Angelea says, you do what you have to do. She wants to be America's Model, because she wants to show girls that you can overcome being born in the gutter. Angelea has overcome a lot in her life, not the least of which is her crazy club dance at panel. ALT tells the girls that they are the crème de la crème -- of this competition. They haven't reached the level yet, and still have to work hard to achieve the dream. He gives each of them a big Talley hug, and they disappear into a small door in his cape and land in a world full of giant, affable men in elegant muumuus. Talley ho!
There is Tyra Mail! "Time 2 get ready 4 a different kind of runway. Pack an overnight bag! Luv, Tyra." The girls wonder where they're going. To the airport, for a first step. They board a plane, and Jay Manuel is standing there. He tells the girls that they're going to Queenstown to take advantage of the diverse terrain for their photo shoot. Raina is, as always, so excited. She notes that Krista has been winning everything, so this is her opportunity to remind everyone how great she is.
Once the plane takes off and reaches cruising altitude, a familiar voice comes over the speaker system. It's Miss J. He asks, "How often do we say you must always be prepared?" It's time to clear the runway for takeoff! The Jays both appear from behind the first class curtain and tell the girls that top models always have to be prepared, and regardless of altitude, turbulence or anything else have to be able to bring personality to their runway walks. Which they will have to do now, because this is a challenge! Raina tells us that doing a runway challenge 35,000 feet in the air is a new experience, and a crazy one at that. As the poor regular people on the plane ponder in the fact that air travel could get even more hellish, we head to commercials.
When we return, Alex clarifies for us that they're going to be using the plane aisle for their runway challenge. After the captain turns off the seatbelt sign, of course. Jay tells the girls that the winner of the challenge gets to walk in New Zealand fashion week, and will also receive $2,000 worth of jewelry from designer Boh Runga. Not too shabby. Miss J. points out that, in past challenges, none of these girls have really delivered in the personality department. Jay Manuel wants them to be realistic -- Tyra has made a career out of bringing personality (and bouncing bosoms) to a fierce runway walk, so there's no excuse for boring, blank faces. They may be hitting a bit of an incline on the plane, but that's how it works. You know, in all the fashion shows that take place on planes during Sky Fashion Week. Angelea -- who has a really fierce zit popping out on the bottom of her chin -- thinks she stands a chance in this one. Alex asks if she should put her heels on. She in fact has heels in her purse, and Jay gives her props for being prepared. Krista tells us that she wanted to punch stupid Alex in the throat for being such a loudmouth about the heels since they would all much rather walk in flats on the altitude-climbing plane. Angelea is half-prepared, as she has only one heel in her purse. How did this happen, we may ask? The only answer is "the magic of Angelea." The Jays are totally going to make her walk in one heel.
Alex is up first. She stops at the seat of one passenger, takes his sunglasses, and puts them on herself with a sassy smile. Miss J. looks puzzled, but Mr. Jay notes that she made an effort, even if it was a little stiff. Alex tells us that walking with personality was easier for her, because she hates walking down the runway with a straight face. She stops at the back of the plane and does a little flight attendant "note your nearest exit" routine, which is cute. She stops again on the way back to the front, and the Jays note that it was one stop too many. Krista is , and Miss J. gives her a little shove onto the runway. She turns around to give him shit for that, and he tells her that in a real show, you don't have time to pull it together, and sometimes you actually will be pushed out. Krista's playful walk is pretty good -- bouncy at the least, and she does some stuff with her sunglasses and jacket. She notes that she wasn't quite as exciting as Alexandra, but did what worked for her. The Jays enjoy how she worked the jacket.
Angelea -- now known as "Miss My Left Foot" -- is . She walks in one heel and does her club walk happy hands / jazz fingers while being all, "Heeeeeeey!" to the other passengers on the plane. Raina tells us that Angelea took this challenge as a bit of a joke, and went too far. Krista is less kind. She says, "Chiiiiile, she looks like she just came off the street." The Jays make fun of her random hand movements and have her sit down. Raina is and does something called "The double half turn," which Jay says is so 1982. Miss J. says that Raina is walking like a linebacker. Krista and Angelea are in agreement, and call her a boring linebacker, at that. Raina says she showed off her flirty, fun personality and engaged the audience. She thinks she did well. Sometimes confidence isn't your friend.
The Jays give the girls their critiques. Alex took what the Jays said and applied it to the walk, but it was a little too "stop and start." Jay was looking for the grace and elegance that Raina brings to her photos to her runway walk, and it was lacking. Angelea did not look like a model, and treated the challenge like a joke. Miss J. saw faults in Krista's walk -- mainly she needs to take longer steps -- but he thought it was great-looking, powerful, and elegant. There can only be one winner, and once again it's Krista! The whole plane applauds. Krista thought Alex had it in the bag, and is psyched that she gets to come back for New Zealand fashion week. Miss J. notes that Alex was right on Krista's tail. This makes Alex more depressed. She's giving everything she's got, but can't seem to get first place on anything. And, she tells us, she doesn't handle losing well at all.
The girls land in Queenstown, which is cloudy and green and gorgeous. They drive for about an hour, and see snow-capped mountains, valleys, a river, and sheep. They stop by the water and run in the wind to see Mr. Jay. He tells them that Queenstown got its name because it's fit for a queen. It's also the perfect backdrop for their photo shoot, and in fact will be a main player as part of a "pretty-ugly" concept. The background will be pretty, and the girls will have to provide the "ugly." They'll be styled in extreme hair, makeup and clothes, and will have to push through and sell what they're wearing. Jay notes that this is a tough assignment, and in fact is even tougher than they think -- at the judging, two girls will be going home. Everyone is quite shocked to hear that, and they start to get nervous. Alex, who isn't quite sure what pretty-ugly is, is getting nervous. Krista tells us that she's terrified and scared, because 50% of the people will be going home. Statistician that she is, she notes that this is a big percentage. As Angelea tells us that this is some drama for our ass, we head to commercials.
And it's the Cover Girl Top Model Lounge! Past faves Laura and Bianca are, as always, there to dish about what just happened. Laura, who is certainly more drunk than she was in the last installment, notes that two girls went home at once on her cycle, and it's an awful feeling -- in fact, the worst feeling ever. "It's like a horror film," she adds. But sadly with less blood. Bianca notes that such a situation could bring anybody down, and now it's really do or die. Also, to add yet another cliché to the mix, it's anybody's game! I guess we'll see who falls under pressure, says Laura, and Bianca adds, "I guess we will." A stimulating and enlightening twenty seconds, as always.
When we return, the girls continue to freak out about the 50% elimination. Raina reminds us how Tyra told her, at last panel, that she didn't make the photo shoot her favorite. She earnestly recounts Tyra's completely sensical advice, which is: "I need to make things that aren't my favorite my favorite. So, I need to work on that." Yes, work on loving things that you don't even like! Eschew opinions! What a splendid idea! The girls head to hair and makeup. Ryan Taniguchi is the hair stylist, and Vincent Oquendo does the makeup, which features a lot of black lipstick. Joanna Konjevod is the wardrobe stylist, and is using a lot of New Zealand designers. Apparently when you want pretty-ugly clothes, you need look no further than New Zealand. Krista tells us that she has to work on bringing emotion to her face, and that at the end of the day she's not going to be happy if Angelea is America's Top Model -- she's going to be happy if Krista is America's Top Model. And she's got three giant poufs on her head to prove it.
Speaking of Krista, she's first to shoot. Monty Adams is the photographer for the day. Krista has black lips and drawn-on very high eyebrows. She's wearing a giant poofy orange skirt with a shiny red jacket and yellow poofy-sleeved shirt under it. It's kind of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which I guess is ugly-pretty. Jay loves Krista's broken down poses, and tells her that her eyes are the only thing on her body that are trying to give soft, serene and pretty. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Krista says that she did some extreme, mean faces, but also did soft faces too because she wants a variety. She says that she thinks she did a good job, but isn't sure if it's enough to put her in the final two.
We get to see the stylist aggressively lacing up Angelea's corset. Apparently, it's not so comfortable. Angelea says, "I don't see how they wore those back in the day, trying to be cute." Alexandra is up to be photographed, and someone tells her that she looks like George Washington's wife. Even in her grave, Martha doesn't appreciate the pretty-ugly designation. Alex herself feels "Sweeney Toddy-y." She tells us that a plus-sized model hasn't won the show in a while, and she wants to represent the "hefty" girls. She wants to do well. Her photo shoot seems to be going okay, and the photographer likes the way she plays with her ring. Jay tells Alex that what she's doing is gorgeous, but isn't quite the creative that he was going for. He says that Alex didn't have the fashion edge that they were looking for. She sort of sets her jaw, and instantly becomes more ugly. This is a good thing, and adds said fashion edge. Alex feels good about her shoot overall.
Raina is . Jay says that he loves how she looks. Though the average person would say, "What is that?" Jay and his other "fashion people" think it's fabulous. Raina without doubt got the worst hair of the bunch. It looks like it has clothes moth slime in it. Raina also is wearing a corset and can barely breathe, which she describes as being awesome in a weird way. I'll keep that in mind. Jay tells her that over the last few weeks he's been surprised to find her weakness -- she doesn't like to step out of the box. Now is the time to step things up a notch. And yet, Raina is not doing much stepping. Jay tells us that Raina's shots were pretty-pretty, not ugly-pretty and edgy. He keeps asking her to come out of her comfort zone, and she won't. She certainly tries, though. Jay likes that she took direction so well, but wants to see her be able to do some new poses. Raina hopes that she did well enough to stay, and also irritates all the girls in hair and makeup.
Finally, there's Angelea. She says she's going to do what she wants to do, and not overthink it. She has a fashion 'fro, and an anachronistic denim jacket. Angelea is giving a "model" face, and needs a bit more anger or intensity to give her an edge and combat the blandness that she's giving. Angelea notes that Jay called her ass out and put her on blast. It makes her mad when he gives her negative critiques all the time. She wishes he came with a mute button. Oh, honey, you and the entire viewing audience of The CW. Jay wonders if Angelea gets anything that he's saying. She says she does, but it's doubtful if she's actually listening. Angelea finally gets to a few awkward and cool poses, and then the shoot's over. Jay says that when he pushes Angelea he can see that she's uncomfortable, but he's not there to just hang out with Angelea, like they're in the club that she so often likes to imagine. Jay asks Angelea how she was so amazing during her subway shoot. Turns out she was just sick of Jay harping on her, so turned it out. Jay says that he harps so they can get the shot. At some point, Angelea has to find a place where she says, "I'm doing this for me." Angelea tells us that she did all she could do, and in fact thinks she did pretty good. She doesn't seem terribly confident as she says this, though.
Back at home, Krista has a bunch of little blue boxes awaiting her -- it's her jewelry. Because she had the best photo last week, she gets an additional $1,000 worth of jewelry. Krista and the rest of the girls go through the jewelry, and Raina points out that there are several duplicates. Krista does not take the bait, and Raina interviews that Krista is all about herself. She doesn't care about anyone else. I would not give any of those bitches my hard-won jewelry, either. It saves you from having to buy souvenirs for your friends and family!
There is Tyra Mail. Somebody -- nay, TWO somebodies -- are going home. Krista feels sick to her stomach at the thought of going back to being a store manager. Alex also has the nerves, because she wants to be there so bad. She's always been told that she couldn't be a model because of her body type, and so has something to prove. Angelea says that the judges will pick who they will pick, and if it's not her she'll be sad. She's had negative people tell her all her life that she wouldn't amount to anything. She's nervous, but also is proud that she's made it this far. Raina suspects that Krista, who has been killing it over the last several weeks, will make it to the top two, and hopes that she's the other half of that equation. Commercials.
And then we get a commercial featuring the voice of Miss J.! He has apparently gotten Air New Zealand to give us a special deal -- $798 round trip (plus some small print) from L.A. or San Francisco to Auckland. Not bad, and definitely a trip worth making!
When we return, it's panel time. Tyra is wearing a jumpsuit that could potentially fly her around the world itself. She compliments the girls on looking so fantastic. She must not be looking at Alexandra, who is wearing dowdy shorts and a tank top. And FLATS! Bad news. There are prizes, there are judges. Jay Manuel is the guest judge. Tyra reminds everyone that this is a double elimination. The two girls who remain will stomp to the death in an Anna Sui fashion show! That's great. Anna Sui has personally chosen every outfit that will be in the fashion show -- namely, the ones where it won't matter if they get ruined. Tyra did an Anna Sui fashion show when she was a mere toddler, and it was one of the funnest shows she's ever done. And one of the clips we most often see of Tyra on this show. Am I right?
Raina is up first for evaluation. Her best shot is interesting, and Nigel says that it is indeed ugly-pretty. Raina confirms that she did feel ugly-pretty, and that her corset gave her a whole new feeling of poise. ALT thinks that the photo is gorgeous, and that her eyes give them impression that something not so sweet and nice has happened to her. Zombie attack, clearly. Mr. Jay notes that Raina struggled a bit on set, because she was so fixated on being pretty-pretty. Tyra agrees, and says that she didn't see Raina doing anything to get out of the box. She was the prettiest in her photos, which in this case is a bad thing. What a stupid jerk, being so pretty all the time. God.
Angelea is , wearing another fierce dress that she won during the go-see challenge. Tyra loves it, and ALT tells her that she has a wardrobe that will last her seasons. Upon seeing Angelea's photo, Jay tells her that she was probably the person who was most confused with the creative. So confused, apparently, that her photo is wicked blurry. I know they're not serious that this out of focus photo is her best one. Jay isn't a fan of her blurry-ass photo, though ALT enjoys it. He says that there's something ethnic in the photograph that's beyond her ethnicity. Tyra likes it, because there's something ghostly in Angelea's blurry face, and it's almost like she's come to haunt somebody, blurrily. Nigel notes that Angelea appears totally upset right now, instead of glowing and inspiring the judges. Jay keeps talking about the subway shoot, and how Angelea set that bar for herself. She can go back there, because the power in the photo came from her.
Krista is , looking gorgeous. In her photo, her face is androgynous, and Tyra says she could be a dude. This is what's ugly-pretty about it. ALT has to give a big sigh and collect himself, because he's so emotional. He thinks the photo is exceptional work, and that if she took this photo to a John Galliano go-see, she'd be booked multiple times. She has no idea how beautiful the photo is, he says. Jay agrees that Krista stepped up, and embodied the creative for the day. Tyra adds that Krista created space, so we can see the water in the background in the space between her waist and her arm. Well done all around!
Last but not least is Alexandra. Seriously, with that outfit? Maybe she was continuing the ugly-pretty theme? Nigel thinks that Alex's photo is interesting, even though it's more like a still from a film than fashion. Jay says that Alex went too far at a certain point, so she became ugly-ugly. Tyra likes it, and likes how Alex is playing with her hand. It's not ALT's favorite photo, but he likes that she looks completely different in person, because a model must present something more than her usual personality in photos.
With that, the judges deliberate. Raina has really risen, according to Nigel. Initially in the competition he didn't think much of her, but now he sees real talent emerging. Jay says that Raina has undeniable beauty and takes direction really well, but she might not have the necessary versatility. She has a laser focus on what she thinks she needs to be, and that's it. ALT thinks that she consistently seems like she wants to be there, but he's never gotten the same emotional response as with some of the other girls. Tyra says that Raina has a goodness, which makes her even more beautiful. There's very little dreckitude in anything that Krista's done, says ALT, and she's consistently listened, learned, watched and observed. Her photograph is a masterpiece of how she's evolved. ALT ends by saying, "This girl... is extraordinary." Jay says that Krista focuses so much on her body that her face can be a struggle. She's usually lacking in expression, which could be a problem in the upcoming Cover Girl shoot.
Nigel thinks that Alexandra has one of the best plus-sized shapes that he's seen in a long time. He says that she can and will work in the plus-sized industry. Jay notes that Alex is always aware of her angles and her eye-line to the camera. She also knows how to make her body work. Tyra says that Alexandra is stunning, but she still doesn't know who she is. She has no story. Angelea of the blurry photo is the girl who said, "I'm here, what do you want me to do, boo? I can do this." And then didn't do it. ALT thinks that Angelea needs exposure, travel, and meeting different kinds of people, because she is a joy. Jay asks ALT if, when he looks at Angelea, if he thinks she's looking at this competition as the end or the beginning. ALT doesn't hesitate in saying, "Beginning," but Jay says that he thinks if Angelea doesn't win, it's over. He doesn't think that Angelea would ever try to model again. Whoever wins, says Jay, their career still has to roll out, and it's up to them to do it. Tyra then goes through a list of Top Model non-winners who are working: Fatima, Anya, Katarzyna, and Mollie Sue. This competition is about getting your foot in the back door of an industry that's usually closed tight, Jay says. And with that, the judges have reached a decision.
Four lovely girls stand before Tyra, but only two of them will be finalists walking in an Anna Sui fashion show. And the first finalist is... Krista! She practically pushes Alexandra over with excitement. Krista walks up to Tyra, puts her fist in the air and says, "Fifty percent chance, Tyra, fifty percent chance!" Tyra congratulates her, and Krista again yells, "Fifty-fifty!" She's clearly thrilled, and likes her odds. Alex, Angelea, and Raina step forward. Alexandra has a body that is so rare and so amazing and so gorgeous -- the judges look at her from week to week and are wowed. She has the gorgeous face to go along with it. But then from week to week they look at the pictures, which are inconsistent. Then there's Raina, the second coming of Brooke Shields. She has such a strong face, with porcelain skin, strong eyebrows, and wolf-eyes. Her challenge is liking certain creativity in a photo shoot, and being very good at that. When things go against her preference, she falls flat. And then there's Angelea. She has an edgy and interesting face, but the judges wonder if she can take critique in the fashion industry and still forge ahead.
So who's the second finalist? Oh Mylanta! It's Raina. Raina thanks Tyra and heads over to stand by Krista. Tyra hugs each of the bootees and gives some encouraging words. She tells Alex that she has to get her consistency up and find her angles, because the judges think that her hot bod is the second coming of amazingness. We're not told who the first coming is. Tyra tells a tearful Angelea that she's come so far, but that "we" have to be strong and take criticism and keep our head held high. Angelea looks absolutely crestfallen, in part because she's going back to Buffalo. But then she pulls it together and tells the panel that they'll be seeing her again. They'll be seeing her again exactly 30 seconds later, in fact, doing her Hammer dance. The panel applauds her buffoonery in the face of rejection.
With the losers out of the room, the top two can celebrate without guilt. Tyra tells them that they're going to be experiencing a first in the history of Top Model, a designer who wants them to be happy and smiling and cute and winky on the runway. She demonstrates, because no one is more winky than Tyra.
Alex packs and says she's really mad. She thought she'd be in the top two. She tells us that she came to this competition because she knew she'd be really good at it. Actually, I think she was really mediocre at it for the most part but managed to pull out some great pictures when it really counted. And maybe that's something in itself. Alex wanted to give girls like her something to believe in. Believe in Little Debbie, girls like Alex. Believe in Little Debbie. Alex says that walking away without the title sucks, especially when she's pushed herself so hard. However, she's prepared to take what she's learned and get herself in some damn magazines.
Angelea is proud of herself and says that she's still a winner, and still a bitch. She has goals and she has dreams, and she's not talking this BS just to be talking it. Angelea is going to get on her grind (?), and hustle hustle hustle. She says that we'll be seeing more of her, because America loves her, and even though she's not in the final two she'll eventually be perfect for some sort of show hosted by Dr. Drew, or an independent film documenting the craze of street corner Hammer dancing in Buffalo. I really will miss her, and am glad I only have to endure one episode without her.
: finale!
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see the season's most ridiculous moments.
See what made the cut in this list of TV's 50 most shocking moments ever.
Want to immediately access TWoP content no matter where you are online? Download the free TWoP toolbar for your web browser. Already have a customized toolbar? Then just add our free toolbar app to get updated on our content as soon it's published.