The girls head on their little model plane to Sao Paulo, Brazil where they meet Brazil's Top Model host Fernanda Motta and are thrown into their first international challenge. They must pair up and find the real Girl from Ipanema's favorite flower (bird of paradise) and then find the legendary Girl herself -- Ihelo Pinheiro -- at Sao Paulo's botanical gardens. Fo and Natalie reach her first, and she definitely seems song-worthy. They win the keys to their new, sweet pad, as well as some blinged out flip flops. Despite this victory, Natalie is summarily unimpressed by Brazil and complains about everything her pretty little empty head can think of.
The challenge has the girls getting a lesson in capoeira, the Brazilian dance / martial arts hybrid. Their teacher, Mestre Eddy Murphy, tells them that they can use moves from capoeira to create drama in their modeling. Celia already knows how to create drama, and proves it by accidentally kicking Aminat in the face as they face off. The girls then have a photo shoot challenge in which they demonstrate what they've learned. Fo does best, and wins 50% more frames on her photo shoot. The kicker is that she has to take these frames from another girl. That is some awesome, dastardly shit. She still is peeved that Teyona chose to take along Celia on her challenge win last week, and so cuts Teyona's frames in half. Teyona says she's flattered, but is totally pissed, too. For their photo shoot, the girls head to favelas -- Brazilian neighborhoods built by the poor -- and are styled as Carmen Miranda. And you thought this show couldn't possibly get any fruitier. At the words “sex appeal” Natalie thinks she's got this shoot in the bag, but the judges find her pose typical and dull and the same as usual. She backtalks that Jay loved what she was doing and told her not to change for the whole 50 frames. I actually find that feasible, but Tyra does not and clearly wants to give Natalie a top model ass whuppin'. Aminat and Celia both do poorly, but Allison pulls it out with energy and a great face. Fo is cute, but too literal in her Carmen Miranda interpretation, while Teyona worked it in her 25 frames. Allison is called first, with the best photo of the week, while Aminat and Natalie land in the bottom two. Despite Aminat's seemingly permanent position at the bottom of the pack, it's Natalie who gets the boot.
Previously on America's Top Model: The models played creative director for the day and learned you don't have to be orange to be successful. Teyona was the victor, and chose Aminat and -- somewhat controversially -- Celia to share in her prize. The girls then posed with so-called "icon" Ciara in their photo shoot for the week. London and Aminat both hit sour notes, but Aminat wasn't a giant porker side of lard and so got to stay. London thus missed out on getting to pack her bags for Brazil, the season's international destination. Six bitches remain!
And now, before we begin, I must take a moment to pay tribute to a true legend, Miss Beatrice Arthur. As a Golden Girls addict from my youth until this day, I will never be able to hear the words, "Rose, get the cheesecake," without thinking of her. May she forever bask on heaven's lanai.
We join the girls in their post-elimination limo ride home. They are sad and somber about the loss of London. Kidding! They are happy to have her fat ass out of the house, since she was eating all of the food and if she sat on the couch no one else could fit. And they are also quite happy to be going to Brazil! Teyona interviews that a few people are sipping on their haterade lately. We cut to a shot of Celia drinking from a bottle that is in fact filled with a potion that came directly from the Fountain of Youth. Nice try, grandma. What Teyona means is that since she's doing well, she has to watch out for some bitchery. Some of that bitchery, our mistress Foreshadowing will have us believe, is going to come from Fo, who is still pouty that Teyona did not choose her to share in the Seventeen photo shoot after winning the last challenge. We have a sepia-toned flashback in which Teyona explains that she wouldn't have done so well without her kick-ass model, Celia, so she chose her. Fo says she got a reality check that this, in fact, is a competition and it's every woman for herself. It only took her eight weeks.
But forget about petty rivalries for the moment, because it's time to pack! For Brazil! Natalie interviews that she's stoked to go to Brazil. New York is way too cold for her Southern California ass. The girls bid their New York house adieu, and we get the little plane graphic with all of their faces in the windows. I think that graphic might be my favorite part of this season so far. The girls land in Sao Paulo, which according to stock footage has rainforests and beaches and girls in bikinis that show their butt cheeks, oh my! Aminat says that being in Brazil is a bit mindblowing. I have a feeling it doesn't take much to blow Aminat's mind. It's like the most fragile of fuses. She was in the bottom two last week, again, and so has vowed to turn over a new leaf. Let's hope that leaf doesn't continue to be from the Suckberry Tree.
And then hey! There are dancers! Brazilian dancers! And another very pretty lady. She introduces herself as Fernanda Motta, supermodel and host of Brazil's Top Model. I cannot even imagine the hotness that that show must entail. Fernanda tells the girls that there's one person who embodies the spirit of being Brazilian, and one of the most recognizable songs to come out of Brazil is about her and the way she moves. She is Helo Pinheiro, also known as the Girl from Ipanema. Ah, I do love that song. The girls are to pick partners and go to an address that Fernanda will give them. They will arrive at Helo's favorite flower shop, and there they will have to find her favorite flower. Fo interviews that the other bitches should watch out, because it's her turn to win.
With that, the race begins! Teyona and Aminat pair up and, thanks to Teyona's fast feet, are first to arrive at their cab. Aminat thinks they have the challenge in the bag. Natalie and Fo are paired up, I think by default, and Natalie wastes little time before complaining that she just was on a 9-hour plane ride, got no sleep, and now must suffer the exhausting task of riding in a cab. The horror! However, Natalie and Fo get the best cab driver and so overtake Teyona and Aminat. Fo interviews that Teyona knows she's one of the biggest competitors on the show, and so if Fo can knock her down in some way, she'll waste no time going about it. She and Natalie are the first to arrive at Forteleza Flores Shop in Sao Paulo, and quickly ask for Helo's favorite flower. Turns out she's partial to birds of paradise. Lovely. The clerk gives them a map of the Botanical Gardens, where they'll find the Girl from Ipanema herself. As they exit, Teyona and Aminat enter, a bit upset that they're in second place. Poor Celia and Allison, meanwhile, are way behind due to their geriatric cab driver.
The girls all hop back in their cabs and make their way to the Botanical Gardens. Allison says that she's super pumped to meet The Girl from Ipanema, because it's neat to meet someone who has a song written about them. Allison, this one's for you.
"It happens every season
Lord knows there's no good reason
Except that which Tyra's rib-filled brain conceives
You're the fierce creation
With the dubious designation
Of white girl with the yellow ratty weave."
Once at the Botanical Gardens, the girls must run, which Natalie also complains about. This might be because her chest is exceptionally bouncy. Aminat and Teyona are still in second place but think that with Teyona's track-star status they might stand a chance. The girls run this way and that, that way and this, and Celia and Allison move into second place. In the end, however, it's Fo and Natalie who are the first to arrive at the designated spot. Fernanda greets them, and tells Fo and Natalie that their prize will be waiting at their new house. She promises it's something that Brazilians love.
And without further ado, it's time to meet the Girl from Ipanema herself! She emerges from the shrubbery and dances her way down a set of stone stairs, proving that she was fierce before these girls were a glint in the casting director's eye. Helo tells them that learning to move gracefully is important for every model, and for all those who want to have very famous songs written about them. She also has a gift for everybody -- the key to their new home! The girls present Helo with the birds of paradise, and the most interesting part of the episode is over.
The girls arrive at their new house, which is pimped out per usual. It's spacious and awesome and way nicer than they deserve. There is a full Jacuzzi, near which is Fo and Natalie's prize -- a basket full of flip flops. Some of them are adorned with Swarovski crystals, which just sounds like it would give you a blister. They're $500 a pair, which makes them a stupid thing to buy but kind of a fun novelty gift to receive, I guess. The girls take a moment to admire the giant photos of Tyra and McKey that cover the walls before checking out the bedroom situation. Bad news. There is one room with three double beds. This means they're all going to have to share beds. Natalie tells us that this is kind of weird. Frankly, it is. The house is huge. But really this is just a segue into a montage of Natalie complaining! She doesn't understand her complimentary bathing suit, thinks the room is cold, and wishes they had a view. Natalie interviews that Brazil isn't at all what she expected, and then tells the other girls over a slice of pizza that she sees nothing special about Brazil. Celia says, in Brazil's defense, that the Botanical Garden was really beautiful. Natalie agrees, but says she wouldn't fly back to see it. Bea Arthur would put this bitch in her place but quick. Natalie whines that her whole goal in coming to Brazil was to get tan. Aminat interviews that Natalie is arrogant for no reason, and her cockiness is growing. She thinks that Natalie is beautiful, but it's not coming through in pictures. With that, and a shot of poor Fo with zit cream all over her face, we head to commercials.
When we return, Celia, Allison and Natalie look out their giant wall of windows which, contrary to Natalie's popular belief, appear to provide an excellent view of Sao Paulo. Celia exclaims that the buildings in the city are so bright and clear and Natalie snits, "Where's the ocean, though, you know?" Celia interviews that Natalie is always complaining and adds a well-deserved, "Girl, you're in Brazil." She thinks Natalie doesn't have the right attitude. Her ass looks great in a bikini, though. It's a toss-up. Natalie snots, "I wanted a pool!" Okay, it's not a toss up.
There is Tyra Mail, known in Brazil as Correio da Tyra! It says, "Fight or flight? You better give me both! Love, Tyra." Aminat interviews that she wants this more than a fat kid -- or London -- wants cake. Thus, she needs to make sure that her face and body communicate. We flash back to Nigel telling Aminat that she looks bewildered. She stands there and looks bewildered. Tyra tells her she looks lost and awkward. Aminat stands there looking awkward and lost. She's got to get it together and give more face. As the girls get ready, Fo says that they're going to a "Fo-to" shoot. Teyona replies that she WISHES it was a "Fo-to" shoot. Ooh, this is a rivalry not seen since the Sharks and the Jets! Feel the crackling tension!
Oh, and yay! The girls arrive at a city square where they see a group of men and women dance-fighting. Aminat tells us that they're amazing, doing flips and cartwheels and standing or spinning on their heads. She says it kind of reminds her of break dancing with a martial arts feel to it. Indeed, there's some electric boogaloo to be had. One of the dancers, whose name is Maestre Eddy Murphy, says that he and the folks with him are doing capoiera, a martial art. Luckily for the models, anyone can learn it. Frankly, I'm not so sure about that. Capoiera looks like it takes a lot of flexibility and coordination. I for sure would wind up with a foot in my larynx. But Maestre Eddy says that all it takes is confidence and the ability to create drama. I would like to see Benny Ninja and his gaggle of queens take on this challenge, but alas we are not currently watching RuPaul's Drag Race. Teyona reiterates that they were told that capoiera will help them to move and create strong shapes in their modeling, so she's willing to give it a try.
The girls get in line and learn a few basic positions. They are so instantly terrible that Eddy has to say a small prayer to the heavens. He tells them that he creates his drama about capoeira, and they need to create their drama, but model. Celia tells us that these moves can, in fact, help your posture and how you hold yourself if nothing else. She thinks it's fascinating. You know who's not fascinated? Natalie. Aminat tells us plainly that Natalie sucked at capoeira, and couldn't even rock back and forth. She does seem particularly uncoordinated. But man does she have long legs. I'll call it a toss-up again until she says something annoying. Maestre Eddy then tries to teach the girls how to do little cartwheels. There is a reason that six-feet tall skinny girls generally aren't gymnasts. Celia and Aminat engage in a capoeira fight. Teyona thinks this is funny since the two have had altercations in the past. As they end Celia poses and then throws in a bonus kick, which lands right on Teyona's face! The camera sadly was at the wrong angle to actually catch the foot-on-face contact, but a particularly bouncy punching sound effect is thrown in for good measure. Aminat comes up and says that Celia kicked her dead in the eye. Celia interviews that it was an accident but, "Tee hee." That foot in the face was, in retrospect, for calling her disgusting. Aminat seems to take it all in stride, and interviews that she'll allow one accidental kick to the face, but the second time she'll break a bitch's legs.
Eddy tells the girls to go put on their uniforms, which consist of sports bras and flowing pants. He picks out Aminat and Celia to go head-to-head. Aminat says she's ready to bring it, and to break Celia's legs if need be. Before they can get too far into it, the Jays show up! They tell the girls that they won't simply be fighting each other today. They'll have to use the fabulous moves they've learned in a photo challenge. Teyona smiles her devil's denture smile, which makes me want to kick myself in the face. The photographer for the challenge is Paschoal Rodriguez, and he looks vaguely humiliated to be there, or perhaps chagrined that his bedazzled blue t-shirt pales in comparison to Jay's hot pink and orange monstrosity. Jay confirms that there will be a winner of this challenge, and that winner will get 50% more photo frames at their shoot. But bonus! The winner will have to take the frames from another girl of her choice! That is dastardly and awesome. Natalie thinks so, too, because the concept of screwing over another girl is sweet.
Teyona is up first, and Jay reminds her that they're bringing the movement to photos, so she shouldn't forget the camera. Teyona capoeira-fights a professional for her photo shoot. She interviews that she feels like a target right now because she's been doing so well. That's the price for success. Despite Jay's advice, Teyona totally forgets her face and isn't even facing the camera. He tells her and it still doesn't sink in. Allison is , and gets on the ground for some poses. Jay tells her that she's thinking of modeling first. Celia also starts off good and even does a high kick in the air. At one point, though, she blocks her face with her hand. Fo goes , and seems rather flexible. Jay tells her not to forget her face, because she looks like a pug dog. Oooh, true. But he still likes what she's doing, and says that you think about a picture first and then you shoot it. He adds a, "Right, Teyona?" because he's been told to stoke the flames of this boring rivalry so it can be made into a plot point. And then there's Natalie. She sucks. And boy does she have big boobs for a skinny girl. She may indeed have a future with Victoria's Secret. Celia interviews that Natalie's afraid to look stupid, and feels like she has to be hot doing everything. Paradoxically, this makes her look silly. It's true that she looks ridiculous doing capoiera moves. Aminat is and totally forgets her face. She is way too lanky to be doing this type of thing.
The Jays give the girls their critiques. Jay asks Teyona if she forgot there was a camera. Teyona says that she didn't have it in her mind yet, whatever that means. Miss J. tells her that even if she's sitting down taking a crap she should be giving a fierce face, because you never know who's watching. Did anyone else suddenly just get really paranoid about going to the bathroom? Miss J. demonstrates how to look fierce while wiping your bottom. If this show gives a person anything, it's practical advice. Allison was very smart about what she did pose-wise and was aware of the camera. Celia did not show her face well enough. Jay was surprised that Fo did so well in terms of using her body, but her face was a big question mark. Natalie looked like a can-can dancer and was generally ridiculous. Jay tells Aminat that this is the strongest they've seen her move on set. However, her face was horrible. And the winner is... Fo! She's pumped, and ready to stick it to Teyona. She announces that she'll be cutting Teyona's photo shoot in half. Fo interviews that there were two reasons for doing this. One is that Teyona is a fierce competitor, and the other is -- you guessed it -- Teyona didn't pick her to share in the challenge prize last week. Frankly, Fo should be grateful that she was spared additional time with Ann Shoket. But she tells us that payback is a bitch. Teyona interviews that Fo is a cool person, and she considers her a friend, but at this point it's every man for himself.
The girls return to the house, where there is more Correio da Tyra. It reads, "Tomorrow you'll enjoy the fruits of your labor. Love, Tyra." Celia thinks that they'll be shooting with men feeding them grapes, because she is at that horny stage of menopause. Meanwhile, Teyona goes up to Fo and says she's honored that Fo chose to zing her with her challenge win, because it proves that Teyona is fierce competition. But she's really not honored, because she follows this up by saying that if she had won she wouldn't have shot Fo's ass down. Fo replies that Teyona shot her ass down last challenge. Oooh, should have kept that to herself, because now instead of being a strategic hard-ass she just seems like a giant dork. Nonetheless, she has no regrets about her choice, and says that Teyona is getting a taste of her own medicine. Teyona asks Fo why she didn't say something last week about having her feelings hurt, and Teyona says that it's over now, which clearly it is not. Man, am I glad not to be 18 anymore. Teyona interviews that she doesn't care if she hurt Fo's feelings, and caps things off by saying, "You gonna need those extra 50 frames." With that ominous yet predictable prediction, we head to commercials.
When we return, the girls head to their photo shoot by bus. No pimped out plaid limo in Brazil, which I'm sure fuels Natalie's stank attitude about it. Jay Manuel greets them and says that they're in one of the favelas of Sao Paulo. He tells them that favelas are neighborhoods originally built by the poor and, by the looks of it, still inhabited by the poor. There is no favela gentrification as far as I can see. Jay then asks the girls if they know who Carmen Miranda is. They give him blank stares until he brings up Chiquita Bananas and gets a flicker of recognition. Teyona interviews, "I'm like, ah, I know who that is! I see them bananas all the time!" Turns out the girls will be styled like Carmen Miranda for their shoot, complete with fruit hat. More importantly, they need to bring the Brazilian sex appeal that Carmen Miranda made famous to their shoot. If you can sex it up wearing a fruit basket on your head, you have more powers than I can even conceive of. Natalie interviews that she was psyched when Jay mentioned sex appeal, because it's what she's good at. She also clearly excels at modesty. The photographer for the day is Daniel Klajmic.
The contestants head back to hair and makeup, where fruit abounds. And no, I don't just mean Sutan, though he is there with some Carmen Miranda trivia. He says that she was one of the highest paid entertainers of her time, and was always smiling and festive. Someone asks if she died a horrible death, and Sutan says exaggeratedly that she died a PAINFUL death, which is all we can hope for Tyra. Wikipedia actually tells us that Carmen Miranda suffered a heart attack after performing a dance number on The Jimmy Durante show, but pulled herself together and finished her appearance. This is exactly what the girls should do if suffering a heart attack on the runway. Die backstage, bitches, after you've removed the garment. No sense in causing unnecessary wrinkles. Celia tells us that she's excited about this shoot, because everything is colorful and vibrant and full of ruffles and fruit. As she gets outfitted in her headpiece, Sutan comments that this is like a Saturday night for him. Hee!
Celia is up first for her shoot, and notes that it's moving and touching to get a glimpse of how people live in the favela. It's very Favela-dog Millionaire, minus the "millionaire." They are shooting in an alley. Celia does a few poses, and Jay tells her that it needs to be more provocative and on the cutting edge. He tells us that Celia looked beautiful and he loved how she moved with the staircase to her, but he wouldn't call her shoot incredible. Meanwhile, Aminat and Teyona sit and talk about the enemy called Fo. Teyona is still aggressively not mad that Fo chose to take 25 frames from her. She hates Fo for a bunch of totally unrelated reasons. Aminat tells Teyona that Fo is still a child, and that she can't go at Fo like she is, because she's not her mom. Fo is sitting about 20 feet away, and her new philosophy about all this is, "Screw you bitches." She's extra glad she chose to do Teyona dirty. Both Aminat and Teyona agree that they want Fo to go.
Allison is up , and the fruit headpiece really suits her. Jay wants her to sex it up a bit, and asks, "Haven't you ever looked across the room and said, ''Oh boy, are you noticing me?'" He then answers his own question with a deadpan, "Probably not." Even Allison cracks up, adorably. She starts to come alive, though, and Jay is loving it. Jay tells us that Allison usually brings herself down in shoots, but today she was kind of sexy and it worked. She looks absolutely mentally challenged as she poses, though. Then we have Natalie, who complains that she's about to fall over on her heels. She sits to a blue house, and the photographer says that it's great. A dog wanders into set, but sadly does not give Natalie rabies. Natalie tells us that she thought they'd go to a normal set today, but then they got to the favela, which was not a good area. She wondered if they were in the right spot. Because, let's face it, poor people are gross. Jay tells Natalie that her shots are gorgeous, and she's done. As she exits, she tells Sutan that she did amazing. Teyona reminds us that at this point in the competition everyone always thinks they've done well, and even if that's true you could still end up in the bottom two.
Aminat is , and frankly looks kind of ridiculous. What determines why someone does or does not look good in a fruit basket headpiece? It's truly a mystery for the ages. Aminat does not start off well. Jay tells her to pose from the fruit down, and suggests that she use some of the movement from the capoeira challenge. Things do not get better. Jay tells us that Aminat's problem is that she comes on set and shuts herself off. Her bubbly personality and creativity is never present in front of the camera. Teyona, in case you've forgotten, has half the number of frames as everyone else. Aminat tells her to bring it, and she does. She even manages to smile without getting too Polident on everyone. Jay tells us that Teyona transformed her denture cream smile into something modelesque, which he loved. She made the best of her 25 frames. Fo is last to go. She looks adorable in her fruit headgear, and of course has 25 extra frames. She gives a big, sassy smile, and Jay notes that she's giving him a much too literal version of Carmen Miranda. To be specific it was "Carmen Miranda on crack as a drag queen." That is some type of fabulous in the abstract, but in the person of Fo it's not working. Jay tells her to pretend that she's standing in sneakers and sweats, but Fo can't get it. She admits in an interview that she was confused and had no idea what she's doing. When she's through, Jay tells her that it wasn't the most genius and she definitely needed the extra frames.
Back at the house, there is Correio da Tyra. Someone is getting the Brazilian boot. Natalie tells us that she's not nervous about panel this time. You never know for sure how your photo is going to turn out, she says, but she thinks it will be hard for the judges to find a bad picture. Aminat, however, is slightly nervous, even though she thinks she improved from last week. Fo prays to God and crosses her fingers that she got a good photo out of her non-impressive shoot. With this we head to commercials.
We enter panel with a continuation of the story of The Supermodel Who Wanted to Guide Future Girls, and So Broke Out the Rules to Owning Your Inner Fierceness. This week's rule goes something like this, "Once you plant seeds of success, your tree will bear fierce fruit." What if, like, a badger comes and eats my sprout of success? Can I just buy fierce fruit at Whole Foods and call it a day? And do I really want fierce fruit? What if it makes its way out of the fruit bowl and attacks me in the middle of the night?
In any case, the panel of judges have all survived their midnight fierce fruit attack. Though Tyra is wearing a ruffled high-necked blouse, so maybe a tangelo got a piece of her. There are prizes, there are judges. Fernanda Motta is the guest judge. And in case you've forgotten, Tyra has single-handedly ruined 120 countries by spreading her fierce Top Model seed.
Aminat is first up for evaluation. Paulina loves her dress, which she says has an African vibe, and adds that her skin looks like lacquer. Is she saying that Aminat is shiny? Aminat acknowledges that she got some sun. Tyra takes this opportunity for an impromptu PSA by saying that she wouldn't recommend that anyone get a lot of sun. Not for reasons of color, but for reasons of health. She waits for Aminat to agree before pulling up her photo. Nigel thinks it's pretty good, if not spectacular. Fernanda says that she likes the face but not the body. Miss J., Paulina and Tyra all think that Aminat did the "101 Black Girl Model Pose (holla!)" Aminat rushes to her own defense, saying that she did move around a lot. Tyra, being retroactively psychic, says that she didn't. She conjectures that Aminat thinks she's doing a lot in her head, but in reality she's not. Tyra is not particularly impressed by the face, either. Paulina tells Aminat that she's beautiful but boring. Amiant says she's not boring, and Paulina clarifies that as a person she's fine, but as a model she is most definitely dull.
Natalie is . Nigel tells her that her photo isn't particularly extraordinary. They've seen the same sexy, sultry look on her face during the whole competition. What's more, Carmen Miranda was known for having a bit of spice and sense of humor, neither of which Natalie possesses. Miss J. thinks that she looks exhausted from having to carry fruit around on her head all day. Fernanda likes the pose, but says that the sparkle is missing. Natalie also comes to her own defense, but in her typical charmless way. She says that when she was shooting, Jay told her that every single shot was perfect and not to change what she was doing. There is a flicker of rage behind Tyra's eyes, which are totally not smiling. She says that you shouldn't let a photographer or creative director to tell you to only do one thing. After a period of time, a model should ask if it's okay to switch it up. Natalie says that she tried to do that, but Jay told her to go back to what she was doing. Tyra isn't buying it. She asks, quite aggressively, "Did Jay want you to do the same thing for 50 frames?" Natalie says that he did. Tyra shoots invisible daggers with her eyes and gives a dismissive, "Okay." Paulina and Nigel give looks of disbelief as well. An, in all fairness to Natalie, we did see Jay tell her how much he loved what she was doing. And his competence level is generally in question. So I say that the verdict is out on this one.
is Celia. As the judges think for a moment, Celia turns to them and says, "It's sultry." Nigel likes how she offers the judges an adjective when they're silent. However, Paulina thinks that the sparkle and excitement of Carmen Miranda is absent. It's pose-y and dull. Tyra tells Celia that this was her weakest shoot since beginning the competition. Celia agrees. Tyra continues that it's easier to pull someone back from being over the top than it is to take somebody bigger. Not good. Allison is , and Nigel quite likes her photo. He says that it's editorial and has the essence of Carmen Miranda. Additionally, her face steals the attention from the fruit hat. Paulina agrees and adds that Allison is adorable. Tyra thinks she looks active, alive and sexy. Her weave at the moment looks active and alive and like it's going to eat her brains.
Fo is with her 75 glorious frames. Miss J. tells her that her judging ensemble is quite casual, but Fo says it's colorful and wild. Miss J. snits that with a skirt it could have been wilder. However, Nigel thinks she looks the best he's ever seen her, and it's because of her sparkling, smiley personality. It's confident, sexy and bookable. Tyra reminds us all that even if you look busted, if you're happy and smiling it's okay. It's a good lesson. Nigel thinks that Fo is cute in her photo, but it looks too much like a remake of a Carmen Miranda film. It's too similar to who Carmen was, and Fo hasn't made it her own. It's missing the fashion, modelesque element, but wasn't horrible. Last up is Teyona, who is wearing a nightgown-looking dress that belongs on a geriatric housefrau. Her photo, however, is good and sassy even if there's not much Carmen Miranda in it. Tyra says that it's an editorial version of the saucy Carmen Miranda style. Teyona is working the door she's leaning against, and Tyra says she seems very comfortable in the environment. She also has attitude, according to Miss J. Tyra reminds everyone that Teyona only had 25 frames, making her photo this week's triumph of the will.
Top Model update! Eva is not a lesbian! And she has a role on The Young and the Restless! Where she does not play a model! Because she's too short! Her character's name is Tyra, which makes me feel funny inside.
The judges deliberate. Natalie hasn't pushed the envelope at all, and her photo is neither editorial nor an apt tribute to Carmen Miranda nor special in any way, according to Nigel. Fernanda says that there is a lot of energy and happiness in favelas, which Natalie does not express. That's because she's thinking, "Poor people, ewwwwwww!" Miss J. and Paulina both find her boring. Allison, however, has turned things up a notch. Nigel thinks her photo is the epitome of what this shoot was about. Paulina says that she's gone through various phases with regard to Allison. At first she wondered, "Who dragged that in?" Tyra did. And then Paulina had to admit that whoever dragged "it" in got it right, because Allison has a real look. Miss J. likes Fo's photo, which is Carmen Miranda meets Betty Grable. The one element that's missing, according to Tyra, is a model. Paulina agrees that Fo tends to give less fashion and more personality, which makes her more like an actress. Nigel is not fond of the photo. Aminat has everything you could ask for in a model, but inexplicably sucks. Tyra says that she looks like a model, but isn't modeling -- she's the noun, not the verb. Paulina thinks Aminat is a one-trick pony. And then there's Celia. Paulina plainly says that Celia is not very photogenic. Tyra says, in somewhat nicer terms, that she looks like an old bag -- in fact, she looks like an older bag than she actually is. She is not fresh, and will soon be attracting fruit flies. Nigel likes Teyona's photo, and thinks it's the most fashionable shot of all of them. Tyra says that Teyona has model features, which is so important and different than being pretty. This is, of course, Tyra's message to the world. Miss J. seems to think that Teyona's name rhymes with "Daytona," because he is an idiot. With that, the judges have reached a decision.
Six beautiful ladies stand before Tyra, but she only has five photos in her hands. Tyra calls the girl with the best photo first -- it's Allison! Oh, good for her. Teyona is called , followed by Fo and Celia. This leaves Natalie and Aminat as the bottom two. Natalie is one of the prettiest girls in the bunch, and the judges look at her and think she's an obvious model. But what they see from week to week in her photos is obvious posing, and the judges have no truck with the uninspiring. The judges look at Aminat and think she has the best body in the competition, but she thinks she's doing more than she portrays. In her head she's a great model, in actuality she sucks. So who stays in the competition? It's Aminat! Holy crow. Natalie is annoying as all get-out, but Aminat is a pretty terrible model. Tyra gives Natalie a hug, and Natalie looks pissed. Tyra tells her that modeling is not about being pretty and taking pretty pictures. If it was, Natalie would be a supermodel. As it is, she's just plain-old-annoying Natalie. Tyra says that she hopes that what Natalie learned from the judges and Jay will teach her what she needs to get to the level of her career, which hopefully will not entail bullshit televised modeling competitions. Natalie hugs the other girls, thanks the judges, and walks out.
Natalie exit interviews that this was the only panel for which she wasn't nervous. She's frustrated because she's going home when someone had a worse photo than her. The one thing she learned from this competition is that you have to have thick skin. Now she's going to go home and start over, but is still asking herself why she's the one to be eliminated. And, I mean, it's because she's a jerk. A jerk who's a better model than Aminat, but a jerk nonetheless. And Tyra is certainly not going to keep a girl who out-jerks her.
week: Brazilian go-sees! And a sexy bikini shoot!
Potes wants to invite you all over for cheesecake on the lanai. Share your favorite Bea Arthur memory and/or your Natalie thoughts at potesypotes@gmail.com.
Tyra says even unconventional looking women can be models, but where does this madness end. Our vloggers have a theory.