Okay, first of all, Amanda is kind of not sad at all that Michelle is gone, despite anything she might say. Also, everyone knows that Michelle saved Amanda's ass. In any case, it is dancing week, and everyone still hates Melrose. They hate her when she's fakeity-fake (which is most of the time), they hate her when she's talking to Miss J. at dinner, they hate her when she's eating cereal, they hate her when she's in a flamenco dress. And speaking of, the girls get all dolled up for their challenge and have to flamenco dance with a Spanish partner. If only they had had to do Lambada, the Forbidden Dance. That might be worth watching. Eugena is the best dancer and wins, and Melrose totally has a mini-breakdown about it. The other girls hate her for this too. And seriously, shut up, Melrose. In the week's photo shoot, the girls have to pose together while floating in a pool. The first pairing of Eugena and Melrose do okay, though Eugena is not so much of a floater. The additional totally manufactured complication is that, even though it appears to be summer in Spain, the pool is freezing. Nice. Tyra is on set to direct the girls but totally doesn't care about their discomfort, probably because she had a lackey fill the pool with ice -- or her cold, cold heart -- prior to the shoot. When it's Amanda and Caridee's turn, Caridee reaches the point of hypothermia and has to stop. Nice. This means that Amanda gets about fifty frames by herself. They don't help, though, and it's back-to-back twin elimination weeks for us. Yes, this means that we get Caridee, Eugena, and Melrose in the final three. Stop sounding so excited. Meanwhile, the latest Top Model unionization scandal has Tyra's makeup artists going on strike, or at least that's what one might surmise given her appearance at judging.
Previously: go sees! Bulls! Photo shoots! Twins in the bottom two! Michelle going home. Sad times.
It is a beautiful, sunny day in Barcelona. In their sweet pad, Caridee and Amanda get all friendly over a hot pink camisole. Amanda tells us that she and Michelle were in the bottom two at the last panel, and that Michelle went home because she outed herself as...the weakest person there, in her own opinion. Amanda says that it was Michelle's choice to say that, but that if she hadn't, she might still be there. "But," asks Amanda, "would I?" Um, no. Amanda says she kind of feels like Michelle made a sacrifice for her. Amanda reads the note that Michelle left before she bid adios. Caridee tells Amanda that she loves Michelle, and then interviews that Michelle knew Amanda really wanted this, and that she'd rather have her sister stay because she's such a wonderful person. And, kind of an idiot. I mean, it was a nice thing to do, but as we will soon find out, it really didn't do anyone any good.
Amanda says it's weird to have her own room, and Caridee tells her to come cuddle if she gets lonely. Amanda's like, "For the last time, that's the OTHER twin!" Amanda says that she's happy to be there, but sad to see Michelle go. If you ask me, I think she's more the former than the latter. Amanda doesn't know if she should have been the one to go, and wonders whether the judges made the right decision. They made the right decision if you want Caridee to be the winner.
Tyra Mail! "In the modeling industry, working with a partner has many pros. You just have to keep them [sic] from stepping on your toes." You know what that means...foreign country dance-off! Nobody puts Melrose in a corner!
The girls head off to a dance studio, and as they enter, Caridee slaps Eugena's ass. Girl, give it a rest already and keep it in your pants. God. Once inside, they meet flamenco instructor Nacho Blanco. He is not racist model Nacho, thank goodness. Accompanying Nacho is assistant instructor slash translator Naama Hernandez Ruiz. Caridee tells us in an interview that Nacho is a short guy. Indeed. Nacho says that normally in the fashion world you work alone, but sometimes you also have to work with partners. And what better way to learn how to work with a partner than by dancing flamenco? Four guys come out and start dancing. It would be awesome if this turned into the "Cold Hearted Snake" video all of a sudden. Amanda tells us that even the idea of dancing makes her nervous, which is no surprise for Miss Gangly McGraceless.
Nacho teaches the girls some steps. Play along at home and see how you, too, could be a top model! Eugena says that it was easy for her to learn the steps, because she has rhythm. And not just because she's the only black one. She's danced jazz and ballet in the past. Melrose tells us that when she messes up the first few steps, she has to start all over, which is a problem. Methinks Melrose might have a touch of the OCD. Would that they had to dance on an oriental rug with fringes askew. Eugena tells us that Amanda looks awkward as usual. She really does. Melrose interviews that Amanda is so cute trying to dance, and that though she has two left feet, you can tell that she's trying. Eugena is looking pretty good, and Nacho asks if she's done flamenco before. She hasn't, she's just that good. Amanda says she's pretty sure she looks stiff and awkward, and she wishes that she could see Michelle doing this, because Michelle would probably be worse. And not just because she's a lesbian. Some lesbians have rhythm. Shut up, they do! White lesbians, too! Look at Ellen! Eugena is feeling pretty confident. Nacho tells them to practice, because they will be tested tomorrow. Oooh, the anticipation. Amanda has blisters, and confesses to nobody's surprise that she had no idea what she was doing.
And then it's time for dinner with a special guest. And that special guest is...Miss J. That was pretty anticlimactic. He's wearing his formal do-rag. Caridee interviews that she was excited to have Miss J. coming to dinner, because he's on Panel, and she relishes the chance to have a little personal chit-chat with him. Given that only about a third of what he says is intelligible, she might not get her hopes up too much. Miss J. says that there's lots to talk about, and that there are questions that he wants to know, and things that he's been dying to say at judging but hasn't gotten a chance to. And then, instead of any of that stuff, which might be kind of interesting, he tells the girls that this is the chance of a lifetime and blah blah blah, and asks them how they came to audition for the show. Eugena says that she found Top Model through the internets. Then Melrose says that she studied fashion design, and that she was in love with clothes since she was a kid, and she couldn't fit in anything, but that her mom and grandma were both seamstresses. Dude, shut up. Caridee interviews that Melrose has three different personalities, and is really good and convincing about it. She adds that Melrose is manipulative, and can be cool, but the whole thing is kind of creepy. A lot about Melrose is creepy. Cut back to her saying that she started making her own clothes because she couldn't fit into any clothes because she was too skinny and tall. Oh, the horrors of being skinny and tall! Also, I call bullshit on that one. I was the lankiest, skinniest kid from ages five through seventeen, and no one in my family was a seamstress, yet I managed to be clothed in at least all of my class photos. Come. On. Caridee says that maybe Melrose needs to be on medication. Well, perhaps Caridee could share some of hers, then.
Miss J. tells the girls that they're the lucky four, and that a lot of it is hard work, but that some of it is luck as well. Miss J. says that Melrose reminds him of the girls who do calendar pinups and car modeling. HA! That is such an insult. Cut to Melrose saying that she's going to win. Miss J. then calls the twins the goofiest, dumpiest girls. I don't think he realizes that Michelle is gone. Amanda says that since she's the solo twin, the competition has changed for her. She's never done anything by herself, and really wants to be an individual. Miss J. says, "May the best bitch win." Well, Melrose is certainly the best bitch.
The girls return home to Tyra Mail. "Head up, shoulders back. It's going to be a stiff competition." Caridee, of course, thinks this means that she gets another male model to bone, and goes skipping off to her room to prepare. She puts on heels, along with a wifebeater and short shorts, and says that she knows her body and mind, and knows that she can dance; she just has to make sure she doesn't overthink it. She and Amanda practice together. Amanda says that she plans on practicing quite a bit tonight, because she needs it. Melrose, on the other hand, says that she's 100% confident that she's going to shine. She doesn't want to overpractice, because once you start dancing, it just kind of works. Oh, we'll see about that, dastardly Smell-rose.
Meanwhile, Caridee is dancing, Eugena is sleeping, and Amanda is getting ready for bed. Amanda interviews that the competition is getting tougher and tougher as there are fewer girls, and that she doesn't want to go home. We see "surveillance cam" footage of Amanda in her granny nightgown, practicing her flamenco dance moves. Hott. She says that she wants to win this, and that it's for Michelle. Michelle the impetigo-laden wrestler. Yeah, you heard it right. You want to make something of it? Commercials.
When we return, it is morning. As the Barcelona light streams in, Caridee and Eugena lounge in bed. Caridee tells Eugena to feel how smooth her armpits are. Old world Europe really inspires romance, does it not? Caridee interviews that Eugena is a real person who listens, talks, and is genuinely concerned. Caridee then wants to show Eugena her dance. She does, and Eugena just laughs. Eugena says that, over the past several weeks, she and Caridee have really bonded. I don't know, man. The way they're flipping their hair and rolling around in bed half-naked with each other makes them seem closer than Britney and Paris, if you know what I mean. Caridee rolls toward Eugena while pushing her firm buttocks to the ceiling and says that she hopes it's the two of them at the end. Eugena seems down with that too, adding, "Yeah, I'd be pissed off if she won." And I don't think I need to tell you whom "she" refers to. Caridee interviews that Melrose is as fake as WWF wrestling. Hey, another veiled connection to Michelle the impetigo-laden wrestler! They perform well, says Caridee, but there's really nothing there. And in fact, I can see some similarities between Melrose and Rowdy Roddy Piper. And you know who isn't crazy about Caridee? Melrose, as it turns out. Melrose says that she's not going to be mean, but that Caridee has no problem with vulgarity, and that it's pretty gross. As proof we get the Nigel-stick-ass comment from last week. Melrose says that she wants to win, and that she's not concerned about making friends. And it's a good thing, too, because if that were a concern, she'd be failing miserably.
Meanwhile, out on the balcony, Eugena and Caridee are still talking about how much they hate Melrose. Caridee says that you should keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. She interviews that if Melrose becomes America's Top Model, she's going to puke all over. Hopefully all over Melrose, who is dancing obnoxiously.
And speaking of dancing, the girls go to a lovely location, where it's time for a dance-off! Yeah! There will be a photographer shooting the girls as they dance with their partners. They get outfitted in some serious flamenco costumes, which involve some seriously puffy sleeves. Melrose complains that her dress is huge, and wonders how the judges will see her footwork. Oh, shut up. The girls parade out to a plaza of some sort, where Nacho and his assistant tell the girls that they look very pretty. The Spanish, they know how to lie.
Caridee and Jose are first. The whole thing is a riot. Caridee looks crazy. Nacho says that she shows much attraction to her partner. There's a surprise.
Then there's Eugena and Oscar. Eugena looks really good. She says her strategy is to follow her partner, because he knows what he's doing. Nacho says that Eugena is very elegant in her body.
Then there is Amanda and Grua. Poor Amanda. It's like if Virginia Woolf tried flamenco dancing. Nacho says that Amanda is working a little harder and also has a sweeter expression. He's so diplomatic!
Melrose interviews that everyone's looking better than they were the night, but that she thinks she's got the footwork down. And then it's time for Melrose and Angel. And something goes horribly wrong! Angel goes up with his arms sooner than Melrose expected. Oh, so it's his fault, is it? She says that she definitely messed up the first part of the dance. Honestly, it's not so bad, though, which is kind of a disappointment.
Nacho gives the girls their critiques. Amanda was better than she was yesterday. Nacho liked Caridee's partner work. Melrose had a good attitude and her face is fresh, but technically she made a few mistakes. Eugena was also fresh-faced and good. And she wins the challenge! Yeah! She gets to pick a friend to share in the prize, and selects Amanda. Despite having a sour face in the moment, Caridee interviews that she would have picked Amanda too, because Amanda hasn't won any sort of prize yet and deserves to feel special. In Eugena's loving arms. Do I detect a hint of jealousy? Naama says that they have three presents to look forward to when they get home. Eugena gets two and Amanda gets one. It's like Christmas! In Spain!
Melrose and Amanda sit by a fountain and talk. Melrose, committed as usual to all things dramatic, is still wearing her flamenco dress, even though Amanda is wearing jeans and a tank top. Melrose talks about how she messed up, and says that she doesn't like dancing to be so serious, and that she doesn't like this at all. You can tell that we're on the edges of a meltdown. Amanda says that she pulled her ankle but kept going. Melrose doesn't care, because it's all about her. Amanda interviews that Melrose dealt with not winning the flamenco challenge much as she deals with everything: she freaked out. And was an annoying whinger, I might add. Melrose says that she is normally pretty hard on herself, but that in this case she deserved it. Then, all of a sudden, she's crying. She says that you have to be perfect to win these things, and that it's frustrating. No, you don't have to be perfect, you just have to suck less than the other losers. Melrose has won enough challenges to know that. Eugena spots Melrose crying and quite correctly calls her a sore loser. Melrose tearfully interviews that she's not mad at Eugena or any of the other girls. She's mad at herself. I'd be all for that if she actually started punching herself in the face instead of just being annoying. She weeps and blubbers and says that dancing is her soul and her passion and she hates that they're critiqued on it. Yeah, Melrose is a regular Martha Graham. I can see why she's so upset.
Meanwhile, back at home, there are presents! Amanda is psyched that Eugena picked her to share in the prize. Amanda opens her gift first, and it is a jacket from designer Custo Barcelona. The jacket is pretty cool. Eugena gets a jacket and a shirt from Custo. Quite awesomely, Melrose is seething. She interviews that she hates Caridee. Caridee interviews that she's over Melrose. She knows that Melrose has a problem with not winning and will lash out. Melrose says that the attitudes are a little diva these days, and that she's over Caridee, and had better win the competition herself. NEELY O'HARA! Commercials.
Meanwhile, Dani(elle) is STILL droning on about her Cover Girl commercial with Queen Latifah. Jesus, get a real gig. Is that commercial ever even on?
When we return, there is Tyra Mail! "Will you drown when faced with your own competition? Let's see which girl will sink when she sees you floating to the top." Does that sound really morbid or is it just me? Caridee thinks that it has to do with sharks. Oh, if only.
The girls travel to meet Jay Manuel, who, much like Karma Chameleon, is in shades of red, gold (which if blended together make orange), and green. His colors truly are like my dreams. Or my nightmares. He tells the girls that, today, there is a special guest to bring the competition to that final level. It is Tyra. She is there to guide the girls in their photo shoots. She wants to see how they work with the photographer, and also will coach them. She says that she did a lot of coaching in Seasons 1 and 2, when she gave a shit. She misses it. We get a highlights reel of Tyra coaching, and it is hilariously awesome. Today, the girls are going to be floating on their backs in water. Tyra hopes that they know how to swim. No she doesn't. In addition, the girls are going to be paired up. Caridee will be paired with Amanda, which leaves Eugena and Melrose as the second pairing. Ooooh. If there were ever a time to "accidentally" drown Melrose, this would be it. I hope Eugena is on her game. Eugena says she knew that she was going to be paired with Melrose, and doesn't know how she feels about it. She's worried that Melrose won't communicate well with her, because Melrose is selfish and only cares about herself. In all fairness, that's how you're supposed to behave when you're trying to win something.
Jay tells the girls that they're going to look like ethereal nymphs, so they'll have extra-long hair and, um, nymph-like makeup. Tyra tells the makeup folks to use waterproof mascara, of course, because the girls will be floating in the pool. The makeup artists are all like, "DO WE TELL YOU HOW NOT TO HAVE DEAD EYES?"
Eugena and Melrose head out to the pool first, and Tyra tells them that the secret to floating is having an arched back. I'm sure Tyra's enormous Joe E. Tatas help her as well. The girls get into the pool and note that the water is cold. Tyra says that models shoot Sports Illustrated while lying in the snow. She then adds, "I didn't do it, but the other models did." She sucks, man. ["And, okay, Tyra pointed out that models shoot bathing suits in the winter and parkas in the summer -- fair enough -- but you know they take the models to the Caribbean to shoot them. And furthermore, they're not shooting this in the winter. Everyone outside the pool is in shorts. They obviously threw a bunch of ice in the pool before the girls showed up." -- Wing Chun] Eugena interviews that the pool is freezing, like ice water. Jay notes with a laugh that Eugena's jaw is chattering. Photographer David Ruiz confers with Tyra about some poses for the girls. And then it's time to go. Eugena is not so much of a floater. She's also chattering like mad. Jay, relegated to the role of doing nothing (which...well, that is pretty much his normal role), says, "You know, it's interesting...don't these two girls hate each other?" Hmm, someone's been watching the footage.
Some tension-filled music plays as Tyra tries to direct the girls. David says that Melrose was great, and worked in the water with a special, soft face. And really, Melrose can float. Eugena, on the other hand, hopes that she didn't look like a dead fish in the cold water. Unfortunately, she did. Jay calls today a typical Eugena shoot -- flat, boring, and looking like she's drowning in the water. Relax, Eugena fans, this is just to throw us off the track. Eugena interviews that she was sinking and chattering and just couldn't control herself. Melrose says that she was freezing and shivering but trying not to complain about it: "We're competing here." Eugena and Melrose lie on the ground in the sun and try to warm up, and warn Amanda about what's coming. Amanda says that she knows it's going to be hard, because she's a baby about cold water. Eugena says that she never wants to do that ever again.
Then, it's time for Caridee and Amanda. Caridee reiterates that the water was unbelievably cold, but that she had to do what she had to do. Tyra notes that both Caridee and Amanda are good floaters. She tries to direct Amanda on her stiff arms. As Amanda consults with Tyra, Caridee is mad chattering. Caridee interviews that, in terms of experience, Amanda is the weakest out of all of the remaining girls, and is still young and naïve. It's not about trying anymore; you simply have to have it, she says. Amanda loses her contact lens for a minute and has to take a break. Caridee goes to the edge of the pool and is wrapped up in a towel, looking ill. The photographer tells her that if she's feeling something strange, she has to say it. She blinks kind of catatonically. That's probably not a good sign. Tyra yells at Caridee that she's from Fargo: "Come on." She says that this is real modeling. That's why models so often look blue in photos. Caridee tells us that there's a point where her body takes over, and that she feels like her skin is pins and needles. But when the camera got on her, she tried to take those shivers away and not let it show in her face. Caridee then says that she has to take a minute. She is shaking like Janet Reno. It's not pretty. The EMTs come over and wrap Caridee up in towels. Jay tells us that, as a model, you need to tell people when you've reached your limit. ["Sometimes! Other times, you have to suck it up or they kick your ass out." -- Wing Chun] Jay says that Caridee wasn't just cold and chattering -- she had actually reached a moment of hypothermia. Well, Jesus. Caridee asks Jay how the pictures looked, and if she's doing okay again. Tyra tells her that she needs to listen to her body and tell them what's going on.
Melrose interviews that Caridee was freezing cold like the rest of them, but that Caridee's dramatic to the point where she needs attention right now. Oooh, bitchy. Back on the set, Tyra suggests that Amanda do some singles, and Amanda is game. Jay explains that there were fifty frames left in the shoot, so Amanda did them alone. They can digitally composite Amanda's best shot with one of Caridee's from earlier. Caridee says that she's always nervous about Panel, but Tyra told her not to go back in the water, and that she hopes it doesn't come back to haunt her at judging. I think those of us who have watched this show can assure her that, in fact, it will. Commercials.
When we return, there is Tyra Mail. A bitch is going home. Amanda hopes it's not her, or anyone that she likes. In other words, she hopes it's Melrose. Meanwhile, Melrose is still droning on about the dance. Eugena and Caridee lie in bed and commiserate. Eugena explains to us what we just saw -- that Caridee couldn't finish the shoot. She also says that she heard that Amanda didn't do well, and was awkward as usual. Caridee says that her body just couldn't handle the cold water. She's worried. Amanda's worried, too, because, she just wasn't that great.
We are welcomed to Panel by a shot of Tyra in a bathtub. Nice. Live Tyra is made up like a kabuki actor. The hell? Methinks Jay Manuel is getting a little All About Eve these days. David Ruiz, the photographer of the pool shoot, is the guest judge.
Melrose and Eugena are first to be evaluated. Tyra tells the girls that, sometimes in modeling, you'll be asked to work with another model. To wit, we see footage of Tyra walking with Beverly Peele in a Michael Kors show in 1993. Tyra hasn't been on a real runway in a while, has she? She says that a lot of models will say that they don't do doubles, but that it's an important skill to learn nonetheless. The judges look at the girls' flamenco photos first. Melrose's photo is really good. Eugena's isn't that great. Miss J. asks the girls to do their flamenco dance for the panel. They do, kind of sheepishly, and then Nigel scolds them that they were dancing with each other, but that there are two photographers at the judging table, and that Melrose and Eugena didn't direct anything at them. Sometimes I just think that Caridee was right. Nigel tells them that it's all in the face.
we see the pool photo, which is actually pretty cool. They still could have heated the pool, though. Tyra says that it looks like it should be on the Sistine Chapel. Yeah, I'm sure the Pope would be down with that. Twiggy says that the girls look like mermaids. Nigel says that the art of the double is to share the frame, but also to shine in the frame. I wonder if he lies awake at night coming up with those bon mots. He says that what he loves about the picture is that they both command equal attention. Tyra says that Melrose had a lot of good frames. As usual. To my endless dismay. David says that Melrose was great from the beginning. Eugena, on the other hand, wasn't so great. She didn't connect or float all that well. Tyra tells Eugena to keep her face pretty, even if she's sinking. This is a life lesson that we all could learn. David says that Eugena is a little afraid of water.
Then it's time for Amanda and Caridee. Twiggy loves Caridee's photo, and says that she really looks like she's dancing. Miss J. makes a display with some castanets. Amanda's photo is really good, until Nigel points out that her feet are twisted around in some sort of non-human way. Twin #2 has some mad double joints. Amanda then shows how she can turn her leg around so that her foot is pointing backwards. Twiggy is horrified. I am horrified, too. It's freaky, man. Miss J. then asks Amanda and Caridee to dance their flamenco dance. Nigel says that he felt Amanda's embarrassment when Caridee decided to flip around and do something different. Tyra tells her to play it off. She's not expected to be a professional flamenco dancer, but she is expected to look like one in a photo.
This, of course, leads to a story about how Grandma Tyra was in a Victoria's Secret fashion show way back in 2002, when you had to walk uphill both ways to school, and they told her that she was going to do flamenco dancing on the runway a few hours before the show. Tyra worked with a dancer who showed her some moves, but she couldn't remember them when the show started. So she ad-libbed. And looked like a straight fool, even though she says that the audience loved it. I think they really loved how her chest was about to pop out of her bra. Miss J. then actually gets up out of his seat and tries to demonstrate how to ad-lib some moves if they get thrown off. Then Tyra comes out and says that she wants to dance with Miss J. Miss J. is all like, "Fool?" But he dances with her anyway. They both look like morons. Tyra loses a shoe, which becomes some parable about how she is the best model ever, of all time. Girl, please. Naomi Campbell would have picked up that shoe in the middle of the dance and spiked Miss J. right in his nappy head. That's modeling.
We finally get back to the pool photo. It's great. Twiggy says that it's lovely, and looks like it's from a high-fashion magazine. Nigel says that Amanda has a great face, but that he still feels like she's "just there." Oh, please. Her face is the best out of all of them. Tyra says that she was impressed with Amanda, because she didn't know how to float, but then took a couple of notes and became "someone who knew how to float." To achieve such a high level of proficiency in just minutes really is a feat of which we should all be in awe. Amanda's issue, however, is her scarecrow-like hands and elbows. This is true. She's all right angles. David tells her to control her body. Tyra says that she was impressed with Caridee, because she didn't stop floating. Even when she was shivering, she never looked cold in the photos. Nigel asks how the pool was for Caridee, and she says that it was really cold and her body was kind of freaking out, but when it came time to take the pictures, she wasn't cold. Tyra says that's great, but as a model you have to know your limits and step away from the situation if needed. Unless you're sick during a photo shoot and decide to opt out of it, in which case you're not trying hard. I mean, not that we don't expect her to be a bundle of contradictions, but man. Miss J. just says, "You'd never know it," meaning that Caridee has done a good job.
The judges deliberate. Melrose seems to be able to do no wrong, according to Nigel, but there's something about her that irks him. Tyra mentions the hateful beret (if only they knew that she wore it EVERY DAY and IN THE HOT TUB), and Nigel says it's like she's trying too hard. She knows what she's meant to say and do, but there's a question about whether she's natural. Twiggy says that she's continually delivered great photographs, even if she doesn't have as unique a look as Amanda. Tyra says that it was shocking how well Melrose did in the pool. She tried to impress Tyra, and she succeeded. Twiggy says that Eugena's tendency to withdraw still worries her. David thinks that she's elegant and beautiful. Tyra says that she struggled with Eugena at the photo shoot, because she gives up, almost like she doesn't care. Tyra says that Eugena is still there because of her potential, not her performance. Caridee's photo is great, even amidst the hypothermia. Nigel says that he's nervous about her, because she seems high-maintenance and like she needs a lot of attention. Top models get that, but when you're just becoming a top model, you're S.O.L. Miss J. drones, "Me me me me me me me," which either means that he agrees or that he wants to bring the attention back to himself. Amanda has no coordination, but the camera loves her, according to Twiggy. She also looks very new. Nigel says that she has an inspirational face, and that it's the face of fashion today. Twiggy says that she doesn't look like anybody else. Um, she looks like Michelle. Nigel says that Amanda's body is a disaster. Twiggy wants to pick just Amanda's head. David thinks that Amanda needs to know her body, and that she's too young. Tyra mimics, "'Too jung,'" because foreigners talk funny.
The girls return. There are four of them, and three photos. We're on the road to the final three! Oh, who will it be. Well, I'm sad to report that it will definitely be Melrose. She gets her photo first, and Caridee appears to mouth "Fuck me." Classy. Tyra tells Melrose to take down the veneer and show the real her. Plagues of locusts, that. Then Eugena gets called. Wow! Who knew, huh? This, of course, leaves Caridee and Amanda in the final two. And I have to say, that's something of a surprise. Amanda has an edgy, high-fashion look that excites the judges, and her pictures have been beautiful. But awkward. Also, Amanda totally lacks a personality. It's the truth. And then there's Caridee, who has a bubbling personality that sometimes spills and floods. Like, um, a flood. But is she too frail to handle the harsh elements that come along with modeling? So who goes home? It's Amanda. Booooooooo! I really thought one or both of the twins would be in the final two. I apparently lack the gift of prophecy.
Amanda is sad. She says that it's hard when something good ends, and that this was definitely something good for her. It was a lot of fun, and something she won't forget. It's something that can't ever happen again. She's sad to go home and just have regular days ahead of her. She says that she wanted this more than her sister did, and that it's hard to leave. It's kind of like she's breaking up with Top Model, she says. And in this case, she's the dumpee. And as a lot of us can attest, that pretty much feels like shit, especially when your beloved is throwing you over for Fucking Melrose.
week: FINALE!