Meanwhile, on the other side of the penthouse, Nicole shows pictures of an oily bohunk to Giselle and Adrianne. Adrianne regards the photos and thinks, "Once, there's [sic] this time my family ate empty film canisters for Thanksgiving because it was all we had, y'all." Giselle squints her eyes really hard to make the gerbil wake up and start running around on the wheel in her brain again, asking Nicole of the oily bohunk, "Your boyfriend's, like, famous?" Nicole tells us that her boyfriend, Cory, races BMX bikes, which means he's either famous among a veeeeeeery select group of people who have that big "U" installed in their backyards, or he's twelve. Or he's both. Nicole tells us that she spends all of her time with her boyfriend, but "now I'm twenty-two and I need to learn a little more independence." This throws us to a quick-cut series of five confessionals that finds Nicole leaving voicemail messages for her man, who is out, I'm guessing, BMXing a series of other ladies and unavailable to be addressed on television as "honey" and "punkin'." That's good ridin' there, Tex.
"Beauty in real life and beauty in the modeling industry are two totally different things," says inveterate juxtaposer and lover of all things dichotomy Tyra Banks "Street Writer" in her opening confessional. For one, beauty in real life is often allowed to come with a side of delicious rye toast. The Crazy 8's arrive at a big-ass makeup studio called the Lepine Salon, as Tyra continues to attend to her voice-over punditry, adding, "It was important for me to transform the girls from normal, everyday pretty girls on the street to high-fashion models." The Crazy 8's enter the salon, where they are met by Tyra, who stands aside Jay "I Ain't No Glamour Boy. I'm Fierce!" Manuel, who I'm shocked -- SHOCKED -- to see was a brunet in the first season. And I'm shocked not because of Jay's second-season dye job. After all, he would ride the color wheel to Candyland with Roy G. Biv traveling shotgun if it was done for the sake of high fashion. Rather, I'm shocked at seeing him as a brunet because seeing Jay with natural-colored hair reminds us that he's an actual human being and not some advanced polymer concoction engineered in a Sanrio lab who should have a star fall following him wherever he goes, including to his home where he lives with a giant bumblebee inside of a totally fabulous flower. Tyra introduces Jay on one side of her and Lepine owner Kim Lepine on the other, explaining to the girls that Jay is her personal makeup artist (and probably Kabbalah spiritual adviser), and that he's going to be doing the makeup and Kim's team will be dealing with the hair. Tyra tells the Crazy 8's that they're already "fierce," but that she's going to make them -- she snaps four times and makes a wacky face, her eyes radiating meaning where mere words cannot -- "fierce." Fierce to fierce they'll go, in a montage sure to be fierce with five snaps, a pirouette on the left foot, a jump up and down, and nine jars of applesauce. Don't know what that means? Well, y'all should see what I'm doing with my eyes.