By Potes
We begin the episode with a lesson in how smart Victoria was for not choosing anyone to share the Tyra Suite with her as house president Laura chooses Kristin, thus offending her supposed friend Leila. There is some talk that Leila is obsessed with Laura, and some talk that Laura is a fink for choosing anyone with as much innate stankitude as Kristin to share in a quality prize.
Alicia Keys visits the house along with Tyra, to announce that the models will walk in a show for her charity "Keep a Child Alive." Is that the most literally titled charity you've ever heard of or what? As house president, Laura is responsible for "assigning all responsibilities." I'm never really clear on what this means, other than Kelly Cutrone gets to yell at her a lot for not being a suitable leader. Clothes for the show have been donated by Mara Hoffman, and will be bid upon by audience members. The girl whose outfit sells for the most money wins the challenge. This seems inherently unfair, as I suspect that the quality of the model's walk will be less of a factor than how great the clothes are. Poor Leila suffers from the inability to move her arms as she walks, and Tyra goes so far as to yell at her from the audience when she is on the runway. Other than that, there is really no controversy - no one falls or gets clocked by a giant swinging pendulum or anything. It's like this show isn't even trying anymore. Victoria, Laura and Kiara wind up in the top three, with Kiara taking the ultimate prize -- the opportunity to be a special guest at one of Alicia's shows. She picks Nastasia to share in the prize, and nobody accuses either one of being obsessed with anything.
And speaking of obsession, just as Kristin and Laura are talking shit about Leila, Kiara is telling Leila about the aforementioned shit talking. Eventually Leila confronts Laura about the obsession accusation, in front of just about everyone, and then tells Laura that she actually appears to be obsessed with herself. This hits a nerve with Laura, who has apparently been accused of self-obsession since her high school days. She cries about being stereotyped as a stuck-up rich girl, and meanwhile Kristin belches and Victoria does calisthenics. Just another day in the Top Model house!
The week's photo shoot has the girls posing as cheerleaders, and striking a pose while being thrown up in the air. Jonte, the new Miss J., is there for apparently no reason at all. Kristin was of course a cheerleader, so hits the poses with no problem, though Tyra doesn't think she looks like a model. There are a lot of gnarly faces, and in other tragic news Allyssa hits one of the male cheerleaders in the head and makes him bleed and Laura cries and cries because she is afraid of heights. Just be lucky that you don't have to do a shoot on a million story building in the middle of a hurricane! You're only like six feet in the air! In the end, Nastasia has the highest scores for the week, and Leila and Brittany land in the bottom two. Though it seems absolutely crazy, it is Leila who is eliminated by a mere half point. You know it's bad when even Bryanboy sheds a tear!