Play It Coup

S01E04

It's the day that President Reagan got shot and everybody is on high alert. The Soviets didn't do it (or at least Granny/Claudia is pretty sure they didn't), but they're worried the Americans will blame them for it as a pretext for war. Misinformation is running rampant in Washington and because Secretary of State Haig can't get his shit together when speaking of lines of succession, there are worries that a coup could be in process. Claudia tells Elizabeth they have to prepare for "Operation Christopher," which is apparently a guerilla-insurgency operation. Through-the-looking-glass stuff.

It's too bad, because the Jenningses were on such a good path this week, meeting at a hotel for sex like a couple of weirdos, but it was helping their relationship out. Now -- with the prospect of war looming -- the philosophical dividing line between them returns. While "mapping targets" of high-level U.S. officials, they get busted by a rent-a-cop and Elizabeth has to kill him. Later, Elizabeth listens in on the taps they've got going and thinks she hears confirmation that Haig is taking over and has control of the nuclear launch codes. Philip thinks they should get more information, because he knows then what we know now: America doesn't have coups. Not that kind, at least.

Meanwhile, the FBI counterintelligence division is trying to figure out if the Russians were indeed behind the assassination attempt. Agent John-Boy presses Stan to go talk to Nina, but when he does, she's followed by someone at the Rezidentura. Nina also thinks General Haig is taking control, even though Stan is also like, "Not in America, sweetie. "

Ultimately, Elizabeth and Philip find out from one of the nurses on duty that Reagan survived and later, they pay the Beemans a neighborly visit where Stan confirms that Hinckley acted alone and the Russians aren't being blamed for it. So WWIII isn't going to happen… at least not yet.

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Breakfast at the Jenningses. Elizabeth is getting the kids' lunches ready, while the TV news is talking about recent political unrest between Poland and the USSR. Henry asks where Poland is, and Paige says it's part of Russia. Elizabeth practically chokes on her coffee as she asks Paige if that's what Mr. Henrickson is teaching them. This Mr. Henrickson has REALLY gotten on Elizabeth's bad side. I hope we get a monster confrontation by the end of the season. Or maybe be becomes the Vera/Maris/Tino of the show, constantly referenced for saying stuff Elizabeth doesn't approve of but never onscreen. Philip is just like, "Same neighborhood, whatevs" and hurries the kids to the car. Elizabeth pulls him aside to make sure they're still "on" for today. Nosy Paige is like, "On for what?" but Elizabeth, to her credit I would say, is like, "None of your business." Yeah, PAIGE. Butt out of your parents' plans for a nooner, seriously.

At the FBI, Agent John-Boy is telling Stan and Chris about a Romanian diplomat who was caught with three pounds of weed. Since drug-dealing is a crime that's harshly punished in Romania, John-Boy suggests they try to get this fool to cooperate.

Elsewhere, later, Philip waits in a hotel room for a knock on the door. He isn't wearing a fake mustache or an eye patch or walking with a limp, so he's clearly not on spy business. Indeed, the knock at the door is Elizabeth. What did I tell you about a nooner? They don't speak, rather they just start making out. The music is all plinky and tender, and the scene is rather hesitant and romantic and sweet. Husband and wife falling in love with each other. I really think this is the show's strong suit at this point, especially while it figures out the balance between silly-fun and stupid-unfun in the spy-game stuff. These last two episodes have been an improvement, but it's been the Philip/Elizabeth stuff that has been keeping me interested.

Back at Langley, Chris is quizzing Stan on Russian vocab, with actual flashcards, right in the middle of the office. I can't imagine Stan would stand for this kind of open infantilization in front of colleagues, some of whom he outranks. They're waiting for the Romania guy to get brought in, but Agent John-Boy comes rushing past them. "Get in the vault," he barks, "the President's been shot." Leave it to Agent John-Boy to make it sound like this one's Chris's fault. Inside, John-Boy lays out the assignments: they want the whereabouts of every KGB agent in the country, and also everything possible on the shooter and whether he has KGB connections. Stan asks if he wants intel from the Russian embassy, and John-Boy snippily says, "Yes, but not from you." Jesus Christ, John-Boy, is your tampon bothering you? What the fuck?

By Joe R

Back at the hotel, thank God Philip and Elizabeth didn't hear about the assassination attempt before they got down to business. What a horrible cockblock that would've been. They're exiting the hotel lobby, giggling at each other like teenagers, when they spot the news reports. There's all the usual rabble from the other people in the hotel, all whispers and gasps. Currently on screen is Secretary of State Alexander Haig, who is trying to reassure the public that there is currently order in Washington. The President is in the hospital, and Vice-President Bush is in an airplane, but Haig assures everyone that he's in charge in the White House. "I am in control here in the White House, pending the return of the Vice-President," are his exact words. This actually was a controversy back then, with Haig speaking misleadingly about the line of succession -- obviously Bush was in line, followed by Speaker of the House, Senate President Pro Tem, et cetera. Haig was speaking more of the political reality that until Bush was back in Washington, Haig was the highest-ranking Executive branch member and this holding down the fort. Not to bring all my White House knowledge back to The West Wing, but compare this to Leo McGarry acknowledging to the press that he was making the decisions while President Bartlett was in surgery after getting shot. It's counter to the Constitution, and it would by no means be a smart thing to announce publicly (which is why Leo didn't), but it was the reality of the situation. So Haig shouldn't have said that, and the rest of this episode is a testament as to why. Mostly, I'm just proud of myself for recognizing Alexander Haig on sight, even though the only image I have of him in my head is as played by Powers Boothe in Nixon. Anyway. Philip and Elizabeth make a hasty exit, he off to see "Charles," while she to check the signal sites. Kudos also to Elizabeth for tamping down her glee at the thought of Reagan getting shot.

Langley. Agent John-Boy is indiscriminately snapping at agents all over the place. He's a bitch, but you kind of can't blame him when there are agents who have to be told specifically to check out John Hinckley's possible Soviet/communist connections. John-Boy then pulls Stan aside and tells him to hit up Nina ASAP. Stan says he can arrange a meeting within 24 hours, but of course on a day like today, that's way too long. John-Boy says he needs to know if the Soviets were behind this attempt, "before nuclear missiles are whistling over my head." Fair enough. Stan agrees to throw caution (i.e. Nina's safety) to the wind and arrange an immediate meeting.

By Joe R

Philip meets with Charles. Charles appears to be a college-professor type who also, it turns out, is one of the leading Conservative columnists in Washington. The GOP loves him for being a "reformed" Socialist who now rails against Communist Russia, but of course, it's all a cover. Charles tells Philip that he believes the account of the assassination attempt as it's been reported in the press, but as far as what's happening inside GW hospital, who knows? As a member of said press, he'll get stonewalled just like the rest of them, so he won't be of any help to Philip that way. Philip asks if he can get him names of the nurses who tended to Reagan. Charles can, though he doesn't think they'll talk to Philip. "Frankly," Charles confides to Philip, "I hope the bastard bleeds to death on the operating table." Charles should've been played by Eddie Izzard, I've just decided. Philip smiles at Charles and says, "Your commitment to the cause was always ... total." Interesting implication that Philip's commitment was, or is, not as total.

As Elizabeth drives to a meeting point in a seriously run-down section of town, she's listening to radio news, and the misinformation is clearly not just limited to Al Haig. This particular report declares, according to "Congressional sources," that press secretary James Brady dead, which obviously wasn't true. Elizabeth pulls to the side of the road, and she's momentarily joined by Granny. Who thankfully ends up giving her actual name to Elizabeth -- well, okay, probably not her actual name, but her official code name or whatever. She's Claudia, is basically my point. She tells Elizabeth to start gathering supplies for "Operation Christopher," which Elizabeth lets us know means guerilla warfare on the part of Russian agents within the U.S. Claudia says she doesn't think the USSR did this, though the Americans may try to blame them. Moreover, she, and by extension the Soviet Union, think that the U.S. could be in the middle of a takeover of power, and that could indicate time for war. She tells Elizabeth they need intel on three things: 1) the condition of the President, 2) who's in control of the government now, and 3) any attempts to blame the Soviets. Elizabeth looks worried as hell, but Claudia assures her that she has great faith in her. She says she fought behind enemy lines in Stalingrad for two years, and she didn't have Elizabeth's training background. "If it happens, you'll do well."

Elsewhere, Elizabeth has just dug up a GIANT locker that was buried underground in the woods. The locker, and the events of the day, remind her of her childhood, and we get a flashback to the day Stalin died. Elizabeth was a little girl, and it looks like her mom was a single mom. Some kind government type offered her a crate full of emergency supplies -- in case things went bad during the transfer of power -- but Elizabeth's proud mother refused them. Back in the present, Elizabeth disables the trigger set to explode the box should any unauthorized person open it. The security is probably justified, considering the contents are giant assault rifles and ammunition. I guess we're supposed to believe tiny Keri Russell is carrying all that back to her car? In heels?

In the basement of a very nice Victorian house in the suburbs, there is a phone bank. Philip calls the man in charge of that phone bank and says he needs the Vice-President's deputy chiefs of staff line, and the guy agrees to set him up right away. How uncharacteristically simple for this show.

Stan and Chris are perched in a second-story window, waiting to spot Nina arriving for the meeting. But Nina is still at the embassy, unsure of whether she's going to actually go. She finally gets up like she's going to go, but Vasily comes storming by, lassoing her into a staff meeting. Vasily and Agent John-Boy would get along, I think.

Back at home, Philip tells Elizabeth he's got "names," while she opens up the trunk and shows him the small arsenal she's got packed inside. She tells him about Claudia and Operation Christopher and how the KGB thinks this might be a coup, given what Haig said on TV. Philip is obviously not happy at the thought of open warfare. He's less happy that, when he tells Elizabeth that they need a government car for their step, she says she'll signal Gregory. Things were going so well this morning!

Paige is over at the Beemans' house, watching news reports with Matthew. She remarks on how "ghoulish" it is to keep showing the shooting over and over again. Matthew isn't bothered by it. I'm not sure if this is evidence of Elizabeth's influence rubbing off on Paige, though it doesn't seem so anti-American to find this kind of coverage ghoulish. I guess that's the point? She's kind of snarky as she mocks the idea that after the hundredth iteration, the footage might be different, "Oooh, the bullet missed this time!" Mathew gets all buzzkilly and serious about how the President or any other could be dead, and isn't THAT ghoulish? I dunno, Team Paige on this one.

By Joe R

Philip and Elizabeth drive into a parking lot. There are wigs present, so you know they're on the clock. They meet one of Gregory's guys, who has a car waiting for them, one with government plates. He tells them they've got two hours, and off they go.

Soviet Embassy. Nina got another window, so she prepares to leave for her meetup. She asks Vasily if she can leave to go check out a local bar where Congressional aides usually gather. She thinks she can pick up some good intel there. Smooth. I gotta remember that one the time I want to leave early to get a drink. Vasily tells her to report back to him as soon as she returns. Then, after she leaves his office, he pulls one of his assistants, David, aside and tells him to follow Nina. So, okay, not that smooth.

Finally, we see what Philip and Elizabeth needed those government plates for: they're posing as aides to the VP's Chief of Staff in order to question one of the nurses who attended to Reagan. This shag wig on Elizabeth is one of her better ones, though that's not saying much at all. I am still hoping that, should these two ever get caught, it's because someone got suspicious of two people with insanely obvious wigs hanging around. Anyway, they thank this nurse, Dana Simon, for her service to the country, then tell her that, in an effort to be as on top of things as possible, they need to control the rumors about the President's condition. They need to know if what they're hearing is true. Dana confirms that, yes, Reagan is going to pull through. They then ask Dana not to tell anyone about this meeting (wouldn't want to "further politicize" things, which effectively is a meaningless statement, but I like how it sounds meaningful enough to work) and give her their cards, should any new information come up. Philip even gives her a pin from the VP's office. Nice touch, Phil.

Out in the middle of the woods, Elizabeth and Philip send a coded message back to Moscow, reporting that Reagan is expected to survive. Philip seems to think that's that, but Elizabeth wants to check the signal site to make sure they don't have further orders. We're all clear on the dynamic here, right? Philip wants the crisis to go away so they can go back to living their lives; Elizabeth isn't exactly spoiling for war, but she's more than willing to go there if that's what the mission dictates. At the signal site, the message that Elizabeth retrieves is telling them to start mapping their targets. Philip is dismayed, as you might expect. He thinks Moscow is hugely overreacting, and you just don't insult Moscow in front of Elizabeth, because she snaps that Philip nearly defected a few weeks ago, so maybe he shouldn't be the one judging overreactions. Yikes! I don't envy Philip having THAT brought up every time there's an argument. "I don't know, honey, maybe the dishes will just DEFECT into the dishwasher... "

Back at the bar, pencil-necked White House and State Department staffers are getting in the most adorable little scuffles over whose boss is overstepping his authority and whose boss is sitting on his ass. Your passion is compelling, boys; it's oh so useless. Nina keeps a watchful eye, her ladyboner for American men shrinking at a rapid pace.

Paige returns to the Beemans' that night to apologize to Matthew for her insensitive comments earlier. He tells her it's nothing, but she says she got to thinking about Secret Service agents throwing themselves in front of bullets and was reminded about what Matthew's dad does. He says he tries not to think about it. "My dad doesn't do stuff like that," Paige says, handing us our ironic moment of the week on a platter. "He's just a travel agent." The teens end up making jokes about the about dangerous lives of travel agents because HOW COULD THEY KNOW?

The Jenningses are target-mapping at Secretary of Defense Weinberger's house, which amounts to pointing a rifle with scope at the house and figuring out how best to assassinate him, should the time come. They clock a neighborhood security car driving past but are undeterred. Until, that is, the car pulls a U-turn and rolls up behind them. Did... they think security wasn't going to be all over a high-ranking cabinet official's home on the day an attempt was made on the life of the President? It's crazy that there isn't way MORE security, in fact. Wouldn't target-mapping these people have been more smartly accomplished literally ANY OTHER DAY before today? Elizabeth hops out of the van -- a VAN, I mean seriously -- and tells a story about being lost to the kindly older rent-a-cop, but he says he's going to have to check her out, as there's been "a rash of break-ins lately." Yes, and also AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT. She complies, but when Rent-a-Cop says he's going to have to call in and search her vehicle -- the vehicle with assault weapons inside -- Elizabeth doesn't really have much choice but to shoot him in the head when he ducks into his car. Well, now they've done it. Way to operate quietly, guys. Also, their one headlight on the van isn't working?!?! The easiest way to get caught ever?!?! You guys. This thing is like rolling probable cause.

After the break, Philip and Elizabeth are disposing of the body in the woods and bickering about the usual stuff. He's furious that they've escalated things to this level. Elizabeth says she didn't give the orders, but Philip accuses her of agreeing with them. Then it's back to the old "Why do you hate them so much?" / "Why do you love them so much?" stuff. Man, lots of A Few Good Men quotes springing to mind this week.

Back to the bar. Nina exits, looks around for possible tails, and finally gets into Stan's car. She's reasonably sure she's clean, no thanks to Stan calling her at the embassy and demanding a meeting at such short notice. He assures her that all his tracks were covered. Once she's placated, he asks her about the situation at the embassy. She says there's nothing to report, really. They're all "running around like cut-off chickens." Stan chuckles at her mangling of the phrase, which just angers her more. Anyway, they're agitated at the embassy because they're worried the Americans will pin Hinckley on them, "to justify the coup." Stan's like, "The what now?" Nian: "The one your General Haig announced." Because haha, from the Russian perspective, a leader gets shot and a general goes on TV and claims control and that's what's going on. I'm not sure whether I'm annoyed that the plot is hinging on an increasingly infantile misunderstanding on the Russians' part or find it kind of darkly comic that tensions were so high at this point that everybody was willing to believe anything. Anyway, Stan tells her that's not how things work, but she tells him with everybody's finger on the trigger, he can't know how things will work.

Back at home, Philip and Elizabeth listen to the recordings from Weinberger's house. There's a lot of interference, so it's not super clear, but he mentions the locations of Soviet subs, then says something about "How the hell did Haig ... [inaudible] ... the nuclear football?" Elizabeth stops the tape and looks accusingly at Philip: "Are you convinced now?" He says no, but his eyes say he's lying." Except... he shouldn't be. Considering they didn't hear the actual VERB of that sentence? How is that convincing proof? Elizabeth wants to get this info to Moscow ASAP. Philip, knowing the implications of such a communication, says they really should wait for more information. She looks at him like he's crazy. Finally, he tells her that her big problem is that she's never bothered to understand the Americans and how they operate. They don't have military coups. Indeed, in a shade over 200 years, it's never happened. (Oh, pipe down, Oliver Stone; now is not the time.) He basically tells her if they transmit this to Moscow, things will escalate to World War III, all over a coup that is NOT happening. He gets very "IT FEELS LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS" about it. Elizabeth shoots back that he thinks he understands the Americans because he dresses more like them and thinks like the kids do. "I fit in JUST fine," she spits, "but I don't forget where I came from. Not having all of these things. It being about something bigger than just myself." It's all very "I bet you don't even REMEMBER Stalin!" He reiterates that there is no way on earth that Al Haig just took over the U.S. government. She gets all pissy, asking why he thinks the Americans are above lies and conspiracy like everybody else. He points out to her that the last two times a Soviet leader has died, their government pretended they weren't dead for weeks. That's not how it's done here. He says they need to try and stop war from happening unnecessarily, and he kind of puts his foot down about doing things his way.

At the FBI, Stan is debriefing Special Agent John-Boy on the Nina meeting. He seems incredibly disappointed to hear that, as far as Nina knows, the Soviets had nothing to do with the assassination attempt. His secretary tells him that the Attorney General wants all the division heads on a conference call, which John-Boy grumpily interprets as "nothing's happening." Outside the office, Stan snubs Chris like whoa at the coffee maker. Chris semi-apologizes for freezing up -- he says there was glare on the window of the car and he couldn't see it. "time you get glare," Stan says, "just put it out on the radio, I'll act accordingly." He sounds pretty cold about it.

At home with the Jenningses, they watch Charles on TV, talking about how we're at a dangerous time in human history. He compares what's happening now to the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, which triggered World War I. "Now," he says, "the threat is nuclear; billions of lives at stake, not just millions." Henry asks about the Archduke Ferdinand stuff, and Philip's just like, "You don't have to worry about it." "It's history," Paige know-it-alls, "which repeats itself, so he does have to worry about it." Well feel free to grab a textbook and tutor the lad, Paige, damn. Elizabeth notes that Stan just got home and suggests to Philip that they head over to see how he's doing after such a stressful day. Such good neighbors!

At the Beemans', there's general small talk about the shock of the day. Stan talks about the day Kennedy was shot, which, I'd have been interested to see what kinds of stories the Jenningses have cooked up for that most American of anecdotes, since they hadn't been in the country yet. Elizabeth says, "Nothing ever felt safe after that," but she leaves it there. Philip steers the conversation to Stan's work, and Elizabeth, taking advantage of the wife's prerogative to be scared, asks him point-blank, "How worried do we have to be?" Stan assures her that this Hinckley guy is your standard-issue nutcase, even relays the Jodie Foster story. She's like, "But don't you work, like, against spies or something?" (you can almost see her swallow the word "counterintelligence") and Stan says that, yes, they suspected the Russians may have been involved, but they've now ruled that out. It's a good thing, he says, because that might've started World War III. Poor Philip can't even throw in a "BOO-YAH!" at this point.

Later, Philip is back in the woods, transmitting the news that they have confirmed that Hinckley acted alone and the Americans are not blaming the Russians for it. I kind of love that this episode seems to want to give the U.S. credit for not just blaming it on the Russians anyway. Way to not be reckless and deceitful! Meanwhile, Elizabeth lies awake in bed, remembering her childhood again. She begged her mom to accept the generous help of the man with the crate, but her mom stood firm, saying that helping them out wasn't all that man was after. The lesson, she teaches her daughter, is to never rely on anyone but yourself. A fine life lesson, Mom.

By Joe R

At the Beemans', Stan's wife is upset about how suddenly he's back in this high-stress, high-danger environment again. She talks about living in St. Louis while he was embedded with the Klan or whoever, and how she and Matthew missed him but had made a life for themselves. Now, they're in D.C., they nominally have Stan back, but he's not fully back. He never talks to them, he's distant, he's weird. Stan confesses that being embedded with "psycho militants" for too long kind of messed him up. Things don't feel the same anymore, but he's trying. You can tell it wounds Sandra to have her suspicions confirmed like this, but she's dealing with it. I'm not sure I'm wild about following the Beemans through the ups and downs of a vaguely dissatisfying marriage, but I'm sure Stan's "psycho militant" side will be a big part of the rest of the season. Countdown to him murdering a detainee?

Philip returns home, and Elizabeth is still awake. He tells her all is clear, and she works herself up to a semi-apology, saying she's glad they did things his way this time. "The Center was lucky to have you on the ground today." Philip, also in the mood to concede a little ground, says if Moscow ever finds out they sat on the Haig intelligence, they're finished. She touches his face, promises not to tell if he won't. No foreplay like the fear of globothermonuclear war.

Joe Ralready wants the spinoff where we see Claudia's two years behind enemy lines in Stalingrad. He can be reached for lavish praise and nothing but at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.