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Wednesday. Another hour of nonsense. This show is actually making mad that I'm missing the last few episodes of Dawson's Creek. Can you believe that? I hate that show, but I want to see the awfulness of the ending. Melodramatic Announcer melodramatically tells us that the contestants are finding the stress of waiting "impossible to bear" while they all stand there on the Seal looking blank.
Credits. Ryan comes out on the stage in a naughty schoolboy outfit. His shirt has brown and blue vertical stripes and "WESTBOURNE" written on the front. For some reason, there's what looks like a strip of fluorescent green tape on the upper left side of the shirt. At least, I hope it's tape. I'd hate to consider the idea that somebody designed a brown and blue shirt and then decided to add fluorescent green as an accent color. Although it wouldn't surprise me at all to see Ryan wear it. Justin Guarini's dad is holding up a sign that reads "Get To The Results." Dude, don't you want to hear your own son sing? That's just harsh.
Ryan reminds us that we've got another hour together, and the padding and the judges and the contestants and blah. Also, Justin Guarini will perform, in case you were wondering why his dad is there. And other crap will happen, too, most of which has nothing to do with anything. Ryan tells us all that the five finalists were stuck in the elevator three minutes before the show was supposed to go on the air, and I would give anything -- anything -- to have seen what the show would have done if they couldn't get the kids out. Ruben is wearing a different style of 205 shirt that has it in smaller, more tasteful numbers. The colors are ugly, though, so I guess you can't have everything. Josh is wearing some ugly tan jacket that he's worn several times. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he's being a good dad and passing all the money they're getting to buy clothes back to the kid.
Ryan tells us that the votes were in the vague "millions" before introducing the recap clip show, obviously meaning that the numbers have gone down. The ratings have gone down a bit, too. How many minions did Tsathoggua have, anyway? ["REMEMBER THE ARMIES GATHERING IN THE TWO TOWERS?" -- Tsathoggua] The clip show reminds us of the Sedaka, and the Ruben tongue bath, and the Clay tongue bath, and Simon's nasty comments to Trenyce and Kimberley, and everybody's nasty comments to Josh. And Josh killed a girl! She had bad blood! So he killed her!