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Some time back in antebellum New Orleans, Kathy Bates was a mean old rich lady, a notorious witch and an enormous racist. Not just the usual "use-the-n-word" racist, either; the "keep-black-men-imprisoned-in-her-basement" kind, the "places-severed-bulls'-heads-on-them-to-make-a-minotaur" kind. One of these men was the lover of Marie Laveau, which: bad luck for you, Kathy Bates, because Marie is a voodoo priestess and played by Angela Bassett. Laveau kills Kathy Bates with some poisoned tea. And then many years pass.
In the present day, Zoe Benson is sent away to a boarding school on account of the fact that she comes from a long line of witches, and her parents don't know if they can control her powers now that they are manifesting. Said powers are essentially the same as Rogue from X-Men, only localized in her vagina. So off she goes to Miss Robichaux's Academy for Girls, where she will be instructed by the mild-mannered Cordelia Foxx, who wants to teach her students to control their powers. This in marked contrast to Cordelia's mother, Fiona Goode, who wants to teach the girls how to defend themselves and be badasses… and also takes copious sabbaticals in order to chase eternal youth. Zoe's fellow students include Nan (a clairvoyant), Queenie (a "human voodoo doll"), and movie star Madison Montgomery, who killed a lighting guy with her telekinesis on her last movie.
Madison and Zoe duck out to attend a frat party one night, and they meet a nice frat guy played named Kyle and a regular frat guy played by that cute guy who never got any storylines on Friday Night Lights. Kyle and Zoe meet cute. The other one roofies Madison and leads a bunch of his brothers in a gang-bang. Kyle walks in on them and chases them back to their party bus, which Madison flips with a flick of her wrist, killing a bunch of asshole frat guys (and seemingly Kyle), but not Rapey, who ends up comatose but alive. Momentarily, at least. Until Zoe rolls up her sleeves, hikes up her skirt, and uses her vagina death-sex powers to see that justice is done.
Earlier, while taking the girls on a tour of haunted New Orleans, Fiona found herself in the ancestral home of Delphine LaLaurie (Kathy Bates to you), where she learned that the mistress of the house's body -- upon being murdered by Marie Laveau -- was never found. Later on, Fiona returns, glamours a couple young men into digging up a pine box from the courtyard, and then ushers a very much alive Delphine into the 21st Century. She is going to be livid at the political situation, you guys.
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We begin our story in the antebellum South. New Orleans, to be exact, in 1834. There, we meet Kathy Bates as Madame Delphine LaLaurie. She's throwing a party for all her rich friends, at which she is showcasing her three daughters for potential suitors. The youngest, Pauline, is said to be not particularly talented, though she suggests to the suitors that her talent may end up being in the bedroom. Delphine grits her teeth through such awfulness, but Pauline's eyes are already on the black domestic help across the room. We know this, because the camera does an old-timey iris-in to focus on the man.
Later that night, Delphine is applying some kind of face salve made from blood and… well, blood. She's interrupted by her house servant (a white one, so she likes this one), saying that there's a problem downstairs. Cut to Madame LaLaurie raging at Pauline. Seems sweet Pauline and that poor houseman were caught doing it, and Madame LaLaurie can't deal with that. She smacks her daughter around, calls her a slut, says doing it with the help is the same a "rutting with the house dog." She says they're going to claim that the houseman raped her, to which the houseman objects. He says Pauline came onto him and that he belongs to another. Madame LaLaurie has her white servant clock him over the head, then instructs him to haul the man "upstairs."
If that sounds ominous to you, it should. Once we join Madame LaLaurie up there, we see she's got a good half-dozen black men in cages up there. Maybe more. One's got his eyes and lips sewn shut. One's had the flesh peeled back from his face, maggots crawling all over it. One asks her why she's doing this. "Because I can?" is her cheery reply. Finally, there's the houseman, Bastien, who's just been chained to the walls so that he's upright and spread-eagled. She tells him if he wants to rut like a beast, he'll be treated like one. She calls for her "pickaninny with the head." Sigh. I'll just say this: I like American Horror Story quite a bit, and I often forgive its forays into bad taste, as horror is a forgiving medium for bad taste. But do I trust Ryan Murphy to handle race as an issue in a responsible or satisfying way? No. No, I do not. But on we go.
So this little black boy approaches with a severed bull's head in his hands, and at his mistress's orders, he places it, bloody and gristly, over Bastien's head. Madame LaLaurie starts waxing poetic about how her daddy used to read her stories from Greek mythology. The story of the Minotaur was always her favorite: half-bull, half-man. "And now," she says, "I have one of my very own." The camera pulls back from Bastien, writhing and shaking, trying to break free and throw off that abominable thing on his head. From the outside, it just looks like a fearsome beast grunting. A monster in the attic.
Then, once again, the scariest opening credits on TV.
After the break, we get one of many shots of a girl striding around with her hair in the breeze, set to ominous music. This time, we're in present day, and it's our old pal Taissa Farmiga. She plays Zoe here, and Zoe has brought her boyfriend back to her currently-empty house for some teenage fooling around. They tumble onto bed and begin undressing each other. He expresses concern that it's her first time -- he doesn't want to hurt her. Sweet boy. She's ready, though. Soon enough, he's, you know, inside her. He asks if she's okay, but in a moment's time, it's the boy who's looking distressed. Blood drips from his nose onto her face. Zoe is alarmed, and things escalate quickly from there. The boy falls onto his back, and we see he's also bleeding from his eyes and ears. He's writhing in pain, and Zoe is screaming his name, totally freaked out. He's shaking like he's having a seizure. She screams his name again.
Cut to Zoe on a train bound for elsewhere. Her voiceover explains just what's happening: whereas other teenage girls have their teenage-girl problems, Zoe has to deal with the fact that she's inherited the family "genetic affliction" for witchcraft. We flash back to her mother telling her all about it, in the wake of poor Charlie's demise. Sometimes it skips a generation, and they were hoping it would with Zoe, but ooops, guess not. "It doesn't show up in every generation," Zoe voices over. "Or in every girl. Like my cousin Amanda. She's just bulimic."
We get a little backstory on witchcraft in America, back to Salem, where the women who burned were mostly not even witches. The real witches were cunning enough to evade capture and flee south, many of them to New Orleans. And so it was that Zoe's parents decided to send her away to a boarding school in New Orleans in order to better handle her affliction. We see a trio of albino men dressed up like the secret service take Zoe away. She's placed in the care of one Myrtle Snow, played with delicious batty zeal and no shortage of eccentric wardrobe choices by Frances Conroy. If there is one scene on television this year that I would like to be played over and over again for the rest of my life, it would be Frances Conroy in her society-something-or-other accent, assuring Zoe's mother she's done all she can, then admiring the tartan drapes in her home. She's got frizzy red hair and a fur cape of some kind and cat's-eye glasses and is generally the greatest thing in all creation. She accompanies Zoe to the front gates of Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies, rings the doorbell, and then the time Zoe looks to her right, she's gone.
Zoe proceeds carefully into the lily-white mansion, where indoors it looks like the Apple Store's Victorian great-grandmother. The central staircase diverges in two directions at the top, appearing like angel's wings in the process. Of course, this being an academy for witches, Zoe keeps getting startled by masked figures moving around in the periphery, darting out of sight. She calls out, "Hello?" but no one seems to be around, despite a fire in the fireplace. Spooked enough by the masked figures, Zoe starts running, and that's when one of them charges towards her down the hallway. Two more descend the staircase, and soon enough, they've got her pinned down on a dining-room table.
One of them reads an incantation to "dark father" and produces a knife, which she brings down purposefully to Zoe's head. Zoe's ultimately throws her off, and the three witches remove their masks. The lead one, all blonde and Emma Roberts-y, is all, "Jesus, calm down, freak show." Zoe gapes at this girl, who acknowledges that she is, in fact, Madison Montgomery, movie star. The second girl, Queenie, sasses Madison about not making a movie in a while. The third girl is Nan, cheerful and afflicted with Downs Syndrome. These are our girls. They're interrupted by beautiful, put-together Sarah Paulson, who introduces herself as Cordelia Foxx and send the three girls off to unload groceries with some mild chiding about threatening the new girl with implied murder.
Cordelia sits Zoe down with the rest of the girls and explains what the hell this place is even about. Established in 1790 as a finishing school, then a military hospital during the Civil War. After the war, it was bought by one Marion Wharton, suffragette, children's-book author, and "Supreme" witch of her time. She turned the school into what it is today, a safe haven for young witches. Not nearly as many today as there used to be. Witches are a "dying breed," Cordelia says. Dwindling in numbers because many families who know they have witchcraft in their bloodlines refusing to breed. So about that whole business of a "Supreme." As Cordelia describes it, each witch has one or two signature abilities, basically. But "once in every generation, there is one girl who embodies countless gifts." She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer Supreme
Zoe asks Cordelia if she is the Supreme, and Madison bitchily snickers. Cordelia somewhat sheepishly says she's not. She's just a witch, and a teacher. She's here to help Zoe and the rest of these girls develop and control their gifts. Now it's Queenie's turn to snicker. "She means suppress." Cordelia reiterates that she means control, though it's clear these girls don't respect her very much. Madison scoffs that Cordelia wants to act like it's still the 1600s. Cordelia's like, "Yeah, no. At least in the 1600s, girls knew their history. They knew the dangers, and they had people to help keep them safe.
Which brings us to the side story of Misty Day. By the way, I can see no good reason why half the women on this show have been gifted with porn-star-level names, beyond the likely fact that Ryan Murphy thought it would be funny one day while gossiping with Gwynnie on the phone. So Misty. She's played by the dynamite Lily Rabe, for one thing. As Cordelia narrates the story, Misty was a Cajun girl from just outside Lafayette who had the power of "resurgence." That is, she could bring dead things to life. We see her do just that with a dead little bird. Being that Misty's kin were all snake-charmers, you'd think they would have reacted better to one of their own having such a gift. But apparently "necromancy" is frowned upon. To the tune of burning a girl at the stake. A nice old-school touch. "It's you that will end in flames," Misty tells her brethren before the match is placed to the fuel they've doused her with. "I swear it!" Jury's out on how Cajun that accent is, but hopefully Misty will resurrect herself soon enough so we can judge better.
Cordelia's lesson: their lives are always at risk. There is always danger. "Know this," she says, "or face extinction."
Elsewhere in the universe, a woman clad in black gets out of her town car and is flanked by men with umbrellas, so she doesn't have to deal with the raindrops as she walks about ten feet into the doors of a research facility. Inside, we see the woman is Jessica Lange, and she's here to learn the results of an experimental stem-cell study conducted on a monkey. Apparently this once-dying monkey is now thirty, flirty, and thriving. "I'll have what she's having," says Lange, who is playing a woman named Fiona Goode, because character names not based on actual historical figures are officially just big jokes. Anyway, David the researcher is all, "Good news! Human trials begin in two years!" One look at the covetous glare on Fiona's face tells you that two years is out of the question.
"This afternoon," she says plainly. "In a half-hour if you can manage, I have a dinner engagement." David stammers about logistics and, you know, plausibility, but Fiona cuts him off with talk of how her late husband's money has been funding his entire operation/quest for glory. "I want that medicine. I paid for it, and I want it." She lights up a cigarette and ignores David's request that she stub it out. He then makes the incredibly dubious decision to suggest a cosmetic surgeon if Fiona is looking for external improvement. Wounded but defiant, Fiona says, "What I need is an infusion of vitality. Of youth." David is sorry that he can't help her.
Cut to Fiona in her L.A. condo, drunk and despondent and swanning around to "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" for seriously no reason. She snorts coke and cries and watches TV news reports about the disappearance of one Misty Day. David shows up, having been summoned from his daughter's violin recital by Fiona. Apparently, he's been injecting her with the unapproved serum for five days now. She's yet to see tangible results, and in her coke-fueled paranoia, she accuses him of shooting her up with sugar-water or something. David's had enough; he's put himself at great risk by giving her this serum, and now she wants to double the dosage? He tells her to pull their funding, because he won't do it. "We are organic," he lectures, "we rot. We die." He says he will tender his resignation in the morning. Fiona obviously can't accept this (the resignation or the part about the human body dying), so she uses her magic powers to put on the usual show of doors flinging shut and throwing people across the room into walls. She descends upon David as he begs for his life. She shushes him, then makes to kiss him, only it's one of those witch kisses that involves sucking the life force out of a man, until his face is all wrinkly and puckered and gray-haired, and ultimately a skeleton with a skin wrapper, like that preacher from Poltergeist 2. You know, one of those kisses. You know, if Fiona has the ability to get her youth and vitality that way, it's kind of admirable that her first choice is to go the stem cell route.
After the commercial break, we're at dinner with the exceptional young ladies of Miss Robichaux's, and like any exceptional young ladies, they're busy making fun of the craggy old Riff-Raff-looking butler with no tongue. Well, okay, only Madison is doing this, and the other girls kind of make weak stabs at getting her to stop. So she keeps calling him "Jeeves" and sexually harassing him, and it's all pretty sad. Poor Riff-Raff. Once he leaves, Madison gets to interrogating Zoe about why she's here. Zoe doesn't seem to want to talk about it, but Nan fills in the blanks ("her boyfriend"), even as Queenie tells her to cut that shit out. Nan can't quite help herself, though, and she manages to assure Zoe that she will find love again, if quite unexpectedly. When Madison starts to evade questions of how she ended up in witch school, Nan blows her spot, too, tattling about how she "killed that man." "I get it, bitch!" Madison snaps. "You're clairvoyant!"
And so we're thrust into a flashback of Madison's indiscretion. She's on a soundstage and missing her mark repeatedly, so her director chastises, and Madison in turn uses her telekinesis to drop a light from the rigging on his head. "Why don't you do the world a favor and take an acting class, you D-list botox bimbo." That'd be Queenie. Madison flicks her wrist, and suddenly, Queenie's soup is in her lap. Just as suddenly, Queenie has stabbed her own hand with a fork, only it's Madison's hand that starts bleeding. She screams and Queenie's like, "What? I can't feel nothing. I'm a human voodoo doll!" So that's Queenie's power. Nan leaps to stop Queenie, lest they get into trouble, but instead Queenie grabs a knife and holds it to her throat, threatening to slice. That seems a bit overreactionary. Nan convinces her to go for a walk, leaving Zoe alone with the Madison monster. "Frat party tonight," Madison announced. "Just got the tweet." In other words, "Get in, loser, we're going shopping!"
Cut to some remote corner of the mansion, where Cordelia is working in what appears to be the school's botany laboratory. She's working on making potions and stuff, and if you're wondering if that makes Cordelia this school's professor of herbology, you're probably onto something. Cue the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, then, as Fiona sneaks up behind Cordelia and scares her enough that she drops her flask. Cordelia shoots Fiona an annoyed glance and asks her if she's been in Switzerland. "L.A.," Fiona corrects her, then proceeds to bitch about how the good old days are gone. Cordelia simply notes that Fiona looks a bit rough, and she's been working on a restorative potion for her. Clearly, these tonics of hers are not as radical as the treatments she'd been receiving in L.A., because Fiona pretty much turns up her nose at the idea. She then starts needling "Delia" about not making very much of her life, seeing as she's the only daughter of the Supreme and could be ruling the world right now. God bless this show for making Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson mother and daughter this season. "I like my little kingdom here," Delia says, but Fiona calls her little kingdom a mess. Fiona wretches at the sight of Fiona's potion and tosses it in the cat bowl. "You bitch," hollers Delia, grabbing it away from the cat. "It wouldn't have killed you." Fiona: "Just put me into a coma for a few days?" Delia: "Or weeks." Aw. Moms and daughters.
Delia clearly doesn't want her mother around and wonders what she's even doing here. "I was just on this wonderful spiritual retreat with Shirley MacLaine in Sedona," Fiona lies (while making very dated Shirley MacLaine jokes). "It was all about forgiveness." Delia is not ready to laugh, nor to let go of the fact that her mother dumped her at this academy and then left to gallivant around the world. "You were sent to an elite boarding school," Fiona pitilessly replies. "Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo." There's a bit more maternal sniping before Fiona declares her intention to stick around for a while. She cites the news of Misty Day's stake-burning as her reason. It's Salem all over again, and she has to ensure that these witches are prepared. She doesn't think much of Delia's teaching philosophy, which she characterizes as teaching the girls to cower and hide. She says there are no longer shadows to hide in. "Do you really think with Twitter and Facebook that if a witch does anything at all, she won't be videotaped and turned into some viral freak show, like a dog who says 'I love you'?"
First of all: dialogue! Second of all: I don't know how she did it, but Jessica Lange managed to pronounce 18 "t"s in "Twitter." Delia feints at contacting "The Council," so look forward to them showing up at one point. Fiona's basically like, "I dare you." Yeah, I can't imagine the Supreme fears much. "When are you gonna die?" Delia asks. "And stop ruining my life." So it's like that. Fiona looks at least somewhat abashed at that, but she's decided. She's staying.
After the break, we're on a party bus with Evan Peters and all his frat brothers. He's Kyle, and Kyle is going to take one for the team and not drink tonight, because the administration has it in for Chug-a-Lug House or something. He gives the boys a pep talk/warning about not puking or pissing in public. His pal, the very sexy and familiar-looking Grey Damon from Friday Night Lights, is of the belief that the administration can suck his cock. (The administration: "Don't have to ask me twice.")
Inside, the party is a very colored-light-filters kind of affair, filled with exactly the kind of anonymous techno music that nobody listens to at parties. Either this thing fills up with Britney Spears and "Let Me Clear My Throat" immediately or I'm calling bullshit. Madison shows up with Zoe, and everybody immediately recognizes her as a movie star. Both a preppy girl and Grey Damon zoom in on her immediately, while Zoe wanders off and eventually has a very Baz Luhrmann's William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet meet cute with Kyle through an ice sculpture. The music is super ominous, so clearly this won't end well.
It's Madison who's in trouble, though. She finds a semi-secluded staircase, bats her eyes at Grey Damon, and -- possibly via witchcraft -- convinces him to be her slave for the night. Which means, in this case, fetching her a drink. They just don't make love slaves the way they used to anymore, because Grey Damon wastes zero seconds slipping a roofie into Madison's drink and guiding her into some grody bedroom. It doesn't look good. Things happen so fast on this show, which is a great asset it boasts, but it also means that things go from zero to unspeakably awful quite often. So while Zoe and Kyle are flirting downstairs, Grey Damon is on top of Madison. And he's brought his frat brothers with him. The scene is pretty disturbing, so I won't dwell on it. Madison is conscious enough to experience some of it, but not enough to do anything to save herself. Ultimately, it's Zoe who finds Kyle and gets him to seek her out. When he opens the bedroom door, he catches his awful bros in the act, trying to videotape her. He throws them all out and chases them to the bus, while Zoe tends to Madison.
On the bus, Kyle and Grey Damon (his name I guess is Brener) get into a fistfight, while Zoe gives chase as well. The bros knock Kyle out and throw the bus driver off and make their getaway. Brener instructs the boys to delete the videos from their phones and stick together. The bus drives off, with Zoe and eventually Madison ending up in the middle of the street. Zoe screams helplessly, but Madison is well aware of what to do. With a wave of her hand, she flips the bus entirely, causing a good bit of panic among the partygoers. Revenge is hers.
The morning, a new report helpfully lets us know that seven of the nine frat boys on board died (good news) while two remain in critical condition (obvs Kyle and Brener, right?). Madison turns off the TV in the kitchen and is decidedly in bulletproof-emotions territory. Zoe pulls her aside and says they have to tell somebody what happened. Kyle tried to help, after all, and he was on that bus too. They're interrupted by Fiona, who knowingly speaks of the high tragedy of such boys cut down in the prime of their youth. "But then," she says, "'world' not gonna miss a bunch of assholes in Ed Hardy t-shirts." Madison's all, "Who the eff are you?" but Fiona is already congratulating her on the difficulty of the bus flip. "But you were a sloppy little witch bitch," she hisses. Madison: "Go to hell, you stupid hag." See? Zero to fucked up. Fiona flicks her cigarette-holding fingers and throws Madison up against a wall. Not a ton of compassion for the girl who just got gang-raped, huh? Fiona then stubs out her cigarette on a nice clean plate and declares her intention to make these clueless young Hogwarts students into something befitting their particular clan. In other words, it's field trip time! She takes one look at Queenie's garish orange t-shirt and sneers. "Wear something… black," she says as she strides out like the queen bitch Supreme she is.
It's a pretty fantastic field trip. All five ladies rocking black frocks, hats, and sunglasses, Fiona carrying a parasol. She leads the girls through the French Quarter on their way to a fountain, which holds some kind of holy significance to their kind. It was apparently declared off limits after Katrina, but Fiona declared her intention to bust the walls down to get to it. "When witches don't fight," she says matter-of-factly, "we burn." Madison keeps giving Fiona attitude, until Nan's like, "She's the Supreme." Fiona chuckles and declares Nan smarter than the rest of them combined. She also is working that clairvoyance pretty hard, as she clearly hears something otherworldly in one of the buildings they pass.
thing we know, the bitches of Eastwick are taking a tour of a New Orleans mansion -- a free tour, once Fiona fixes the guide with her glare. The mansion is the same one once owned by Madame LaLaurie, so, you know, baaaaad juju running all through this place. The guide talks about how Madame LaLaurie ran the place like a house of horrors, and she says the legacy of such horrors has been over 170 years of hauntings. The guide also speaks of Madame LaLaurie's beauty regimen, as hinted at in the opening scenes. Seems whenever she ran out of the blood, she had to go replenish her concoction, and that involved the harvesting of a pancreas from one of her imprisoned black men. We are treated to a scene of one such harvesting, and it is plenty gruesome.
Then it's up to the attic, where the girls are treated to a first-hand view of the site of Madame LaLaurie's many tortures. The guide says this house was also where Madame LaLaurie also met her end, so that's as good a time for a flashback as any. So back in 1830s New Orleans, we see the regal visage and covered-up but still toned arms of Miss Angela Bassett as she crosses the street. She's playing real-life voodoo priestess Marie Laveau, and she's here to have a talk with the lady of the house. Madame LaLaurie is of course a raging C to Marie when she comes calling, even when Marie offers to cure her huband's predilection for younger women. But a scorned woman can only turn down a love potion so many times.
Soon enough. Marie is in her drawing room, watching as Madame LaLaurie downs the vial of elixir. Unsurprisingly, the potion doesn't sit well, and soon enough, Madame LaLaurie is doubled over in violent pain, asking Marie what she's done to her. Marie is content to watch her die. The guide helpfully lets us know that one of Madame LaLaurie's tortured slaves (this episode would seem to dictate it was Bastien) was Marie's lover. So, you know. Pick your victims more carefully, is the lesson. We see Marie approach minotaur-headed Bastien in the attic and embraces him. It's unclear whether Madame LaLaurie had any powers to actually turn Bastien into a minotaur or if she just tortured him until he died. The one in this scene we know has supernatural powers is Marie Laveau.
The tour guide mentions that Madame LaLaurie's body was never found, and Fiona looks out the window to see Nan sitting at the fountain. When Fiona heads out and asks Nan what she hears, Nan simply stares at the brick courtyard and says, "The lady of the house."
After the break, the field trip is over, and Zoe is out looking for some extra credit. She's at the hospital, seeking out the survivors of the bus crash. She's plagued by a fish-eye lens that just keeps following her everywhere. She enters the room of the surviving fratty and begs the universe that it be Kyle. Devastatingly enough, it's Brener, though his face is mighty busted up for his trouble. He also seems to be unconscious. Zoe's face twists itself into a mask of hatred as she spits, "It should've been you!" She should do something about it. Madison did something. She flipped that bus, didn't she? But Madison is telekinetic. What could Zoe do, kill him with her vagina? HA HA HA, right, as if -- oh. Oh, okay. That's what's gonna be happening. Zoe closes the door.
We cut to Fiona receiving her luggage at the home and then heading right back out to take care of some business. Zoe starts reciting some voiceover or another about New Orleans post-Katrina, but if you've ready any of my occasional Grey's Anatomy recaps, you know I don't pay voice-over like this any mind unless it's of crucial importance. It's not.
Emma Roberts cries naked in the shower. Queenie sneaks a late-night turkey leg. Nan sits quietly and listens. And Zoe pulls the curtains closed around Brener's hospital bed and gets to work. She slips her hand underneath his gown and… prepares him. When the moment is right, she hikes up her skirt, climbs atop him, and starts riding him. Turns out, that poisoned vageen is still poison. Brener's monitors go crazy, he bleeds out his eyes, mouth, and nose, and he seizes to death. Mission: accomplished.
Speaking of missions, we cut to Fiona that night, who's just finished glamouring a pair of laborers to dig up something out of Madame LaLaurie's courtyard. A pine box, from the looks of it. It's bound by chains that Fiona clips off, and inside that box is Madame LaLaurie herself. Alive. Cursed? Perhaps. Certainly disoriented after 170 years. She hauls herself up, removes her gag, and kind of grunts at Fiona. "Come on, Mary Todd Lincoln," Fiona smirks. "I'll buy you a drink." "Who's Mary Todd Lincoln?" Madame LaLaurie does not respond. Unfortunately.
Joe R is so glad it's back. He can be reached for lavish praise and nothing but at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.