This Looks Like The Path Straight To Hell!

Previously on Stop Watching The Bachelor and Birds Of Prey, Dammit: Heather got dumped on her face by a donkey. Ian was loud and pushy, and not in the good way. Pretty boys were back, and this time, they really were stupid. Ken and Gerard were bald and funny, and there's always room for bald and funny. A donkey dumped Heather on her face. Tall guys and short girls ran around yelling. When it was all over, the soccer moms left to go home and yell at the coaches who didn't give their kids enough playing time. Oh, and Heather's face had the rest of Heather dumped on it by a donkey. Who will be eliminated tonight?

The first thing you should know is that I'm working on this recap while I am home from work, sick as a dog. So you should imagine me coughing a particularly sexy phlegm-laden cough, and continuing to accumulate a hell of a pile of used Kleenex. It's just me and my jeans and my TWoP baseball shirt and my periodic sniffling, baby. Also, my hair has that I-am-not-going-to-work-today, ponytail-of-pathos look. Right now, I am debating whether I have the energy to go find socks. I'm also running a bit of a temperature, so I'm kinda pink and clammy. I am a dreamboat on wheels today, believe me. Admit it, you are sorry you aren't here to snuggle up to me at this particular moment in time.

Credits. In June of this year, an "amorous" dolphin named Georges began making sexual advances on divers in an English town, so efforts were made to relocate him to France (logically enough). The flight of the Voladores is an ancient dance of prayer. Half of all boating accidents involve personal watercraft, with an overwhelming number of those accidents attributed to inexperienced and untrained users. The Pyramid of the Sun is one of three pyramids in Teotihuacan, which was a large city until it burned in approximately 700 A.D. and was abandoned. One researcher has found that women cry an average of 5.3 times per month, while men cry an average of only 1.4 times per month. [BOMP.]

Fade up on spring break in Mazatlan. No wonder the cameramen are sloshed. Is that David Arquette participating in an MTV game show? Oh, no. It's just the teams, taking a break at the first pit stop. It seems like the pit stops get more luxurious every year. It's turning into The Amazing Tour Of Five-Star Hotels. As usual, there is eating, sleeping, and mingling, although it looks like it's a little more fun than it was in the desert or in tents in the jungle. Amateurs. You will be shocked to learn that Heather and Eve do their mingling in their swimsuits, which is so you can see how intelligent they are. Now it's time for Phil, Exposition Hands, route markers, and sealed envelopes. It's all very dramatic, assuming you've never seen the show before. Phil wonders aloud what rivalries will emerge, other than Ian and Eve's pitched battle for First To Get Poked In The Eye By The Recapper.

10:36 PM. Ken and Gerard rip open their clue. It tells them to get to the Pyramid of the Sun in Teotihuacan. I love how they show dramatic shots of the road and a speedometer whenever Phil describes driving somewhere. What I like about this particular speedometer shot is that it's in kilometers, which makes it look like the driver is really flying. Woo! We hit eighty! I want a speedometer in feet per minute. "Hi, mom! I'm calling from the road! I'm doing three hundred twenty thousand!" Anyway, when the drive is over, it will be time to go up 248 steps to the route marker. Phil says it's twenty stories up. And they have to climb the whole way. Bleh. In their SUV as they get underway, Kenny tells us that they've named their team "Oh, Brother," so that other teams can say, "Oh, Brother! They're passing us again!" Of course, if they don't watch out, it will be, "Oh, Brother! Nicknaming yourself is the path to destruction!"

1:09 AM. Flo and Zach count out the fairly generous cash booty of $360 for the leg. I guess he really is going to wear those headbands for the entire race. I was hoping maybe last week was some kind of aberration, like maybe he was celebrating some obscure religious holiday that only comes once a year. It appears I am not to be so lucky. As they get into their SUV, Flo raves in a voice-over about how very, very brilliant Zach is as a navigator, and how lucky she is to be with him on the race. Blah dee blah natural-compass-in-his-nose-cakes. Flo says that she and the Moptopped Navigator are leaving with Aaron and Arianne, hoping that four empty heads are better than two. Surely, there's someone who specializes in The Theory Of Small Things, or The Math Of Very Tiny Amounts, who could tell me whether there's any validity to that theory. Perhaps someone who studies quarks.

1:11 AM. Here come Aaron and Arianne now. I was hoping maybe they would have been deported between episodes or something. Or disqualified for lying. Why can't we ever get annoying people disqualified, like they do on American Idol? Arianne pronounces the city they have to find "Tee-oh-tee-oh-hoss-at-lan." Oh, so close. In an interview, Aaron and Arianne mock Flo and Zach for being so "hard-core," particularly picking on Zach for having a light strapped to his head for better map-reading. Quite honestly, that seems like a pretty good idea to me. She also makes fun of Flo and Zach for having already figured out the map, not that this is going to stop her from following them. Aaron puts his hands over his eyes at the hilarity of her observations. It's possible that Arianne is speaking some language I don't speak, which would explain why I'm missing the hilarity. Aaron says, about Flo and Zach, that he guesses there's some kind of will-they-or-won't-they vibe about them. "Why haven't they just done it?" he says dramatically. "Why haven't they just done it?" Arianne repeats. And then they laugh hysterically, because that's...so funny. I guess. Or something. You know, I just figured out why they bother me so much. It's the ceaseless, intolerable mugging for the cameras. I have yet to see them in a moment that looks remotely genuine. They're overexerting themselves to the point where they come off like circus performers, and I'm dying for them to just knock it the hell off already before I start throwing Cracker Jack. I think it's entirely possible that I would like them if they would just stop laboring so hard all the time. Oh, and the laughing hysterically at themselves isn't very appealing, either. It bugs me when I see it on old episodes of The Carol Burnett Show, and I don't like it any better now. I am also not happy that whenever I type her name, I hear in my head, "I really wanna tell you, Arianne, Arianne...I'm thinkin' of you Arianne, Arianne," and so forth. Way to ruin a perfectly good song. So...I think that's just about my full list of current complaints. As these two teams take off for the highway (with Flo and Zach in the lead), Aaron comments that the two teams running a half-hour behind them are planning on teaming up as well.

1:33 AM. Michael and Kathy get ready to take off. Kathy voices over that now that they've been dating long-distance for a while, their choices are that someone can move, they can just keep dating long-distance, or they can break up. I sit in my big green chair for a while, scratching my head and counting on my fingers, and...yep, that certainly would seem to cover the options. You can't take anything away from her thoroughness.

1:35 AM. John Vito and Jill. We certainly do have a lot of these teams where the guy is big and tall and the girl is shrimpy. She's little enough to fit in John Vito's pocket, I think. Jill voices over that the two of them have decided that the race will test them, but will likely only make them stronger. Of course, everyone thinks that at first, before the screaming and the fighting and the throwing up out the open car door. They agree to caravan with Michael and Kathy, and Jill says, "If you think we're going the wrong way, beep us. Or flash us!" Beep us? Flash us? Now we're getting somewhere!

2:16 AM. Heather and Eve. Eve is doing some kind of twisted flower child thing today. Nice headband, there, Moonbeam, but Woodstock is thataway. The editors feel obligated to again play tape of them explaining that they just graduated from Harvard Law, because they know you probably still don't believe it. They leave. But they don't go far enough for me.

Aaron and Arianne are still following Zach and Flo. Zach realizes that the Kathy/Michael/PocketVito group has caught up to them. Michael comments that they have made up a half-hour, dawg, which is a tribute to his mad driving skillz. I wish I were joking. Fortunately, he laughs a little after he says this, which helps a little. Jill is just happy that the entire MeHugeYouTiny alliance has coalesced into a single whole.

Ken and Gerard, meanwhile, have found their bald, round way to the pyramid. It doesn't open until 7:00 AM, so they're in for a little bit of a wait. I hope they enjoyed their lead.

3:29 AM. Dennis and Andrew. Dennis describes the trip as "a father's dream," and says that he and Andrew will be "talking about this when [he's] ninety."

3:33 AM. Teri and Ian. She announces as they drive off that their goal is to make it clear that there's nothing wrong with being fifty-ish. Of course, there is something wrong with being bossy, rude, and annoying, but there's going to be plenty of time, not to mention opportunity, for us to talk about that. There is also something deeply wrong with that hat Ian is wearing, but I'm trying to lay off the hats this year, lest it become as old, used-up, dried-out, overdone, and hoary as the Rally Monkey. Suffice it to say that when someone on the forums pointed out that it looked like it came from the French Foreign Legion Surplus Store (heh), I realized that that's where I've seen it -- in those Pepe Le Pew cartoons where he escapes his lovelorn ennui by giving his life to serve. Anyway, Teri loudly congratulates herself for finding the entire city they're going to on the map. Yeah, good one, Meriwether.

4:09 AM. It's Andre and Damon's start time, but they show up a bit late to The Mat Of Destiny, muttering that they overslept. As they get underway, Phil explains, over some tense wocka-wocka exposition music, that in the first leg, they accidentally failed to follow the mapped course during the donkey cart ride, so they have been penalized forty-eight minutes for the actual time they gained with the unauthorized shortcut, as well as what Phil calls the "standard minimal punitive penalty" of thirty minutes, for a total of seventy-eight penalty minutes. Phil says this as if we are all familiar with the standard minimum punitive penalty, which we are not. It's apparently a new thing -- just another step toward mandatory sentencing, which is certainly all the rage. Never let it be said that they don't change with the times. I have to say, actually, that I see this as a positive development. I've always thought the ability to follow the clues correctly and abide by the rules should play a bigger part in the result than it does (hello, minibus/taxi scandal), so if they're taking a step in that direction, it's a blessing. As they take off, they discuss the complications of Montezuma's Revenge and the fact that they didn't get to brush their teeth. There's something about that juxtaposition that's a little bit wrong, but I don't really want to give it a whole lot of thought.

4:28 AM. Tramel and Talicia take off. In their SUV, they slap hands and call themselves "TnT." When will these people learn that you're not allowed to name your own team? Do we look like we need help over here? They lament the bad luck they had on the first leg, but they vow to move on.

The MeHugeYouTiny Alliance has hit a snag, as Zach now seems to be navigating them in a rather aimless pattern around Mexico City. Ha! Aaron comments that while it may not be an "official alliance" (and four teams is much too big for an effective alliance on this show, incidentally, considering that it means trying to get sixteen people on a plane at a time), they have all "bonded together to edge out the twins." Arianne says that it's everyone against the twins. Aaron deems them "too pretty." Translation: We're not really comfortable with ourselves, so the way to make ourselves feel like we fit in as quickly as possible is to find someone to gang up on. How very Big Brother of them. Who knew there would be such an obvious parallel between Derek and Drew and Gerry? Aaron and Arianne interview vapidly about how the twins don't need to win, but they do. Bitch bitch bitch, mug mug mug. Yawn.

4:37 AM. Here go the famous and inexplicably reviled twins now. They immediately decide to go for the Fast Forward, which is a pretty questionable decision. The clues give hours of operation, and if they could tell from the clue that the pyramid had hours starting at 7:00, it's asinine to use their FF, because they're being handed an obvious opportunity to get back into it via good, healthy bunching. It's pretty clear from their conversation later that they simply misjudge how far away the pyramids are and how long it will take to get there, and I think it's silly for them not to have checked more carefully. So I think this bodes ill for how much they know about playing this game well. At any rate, the FF involves finding some guys called the Voladores at the Museum of Anthropology, and participating in this thing where you swing around a pole tied to a rope and try not to fall directly on your skull. I think Phil's description of this as a "traditional local stunt" performed by "daredevils" is a little off, considering that (as we learned during the credits) this is actually quite a sacred and ancient tradition, as I understand it. This is no Barnum and Bailey/Cirque Du Soleil acrobatic frolic.

MeHugeYouTiny is still lost. "Where are we, dude?" Aaron whines, apparently directing his wrath at Zach, who can't really hear the whining, what with being in another van and everything.

Surprisingly enough, the team to make it to the pyramid to join Ken and Gerard is Heather and Eve, who are apparently smarter than they look. This, of course, is not difficult.

Zach admits that they've been driving around now for "five painful hours." Aaron, in turn, says in his SUV that he's saddened by the fact that Zach didn't turn out to be "some sort of, like, uber-navigator." Arianne mutters that she thought Zach might be a "genius." Apparently, they haven't seen his hair. Aaron also uses the word "hard-core" again, which makes me think that these two need a twelve-step program to lay off some of this vocabulary. "Hard-core" goes with "alternative" in my list of "if you use it, you know nothing about it" words. Shut up, Aaron. Arianne does the episode title thing by saying, "This seems like the path straight to hell." I only wish. Of course, they'd get there and be like, "That Satan guy? I don't know what his, like, deal is? But those horns? He needs to file those puppies down, because they are not working for him, you know?"

Commercials. Haven't you been wondering why nobody sold frozen soup until now? I mean, that's the way to buy soup. You want to make sure you pay them to transport as much water as possible, because adding it yourself is a real pain.

MeHugeYouTiny is still lost. Sucks to be that full of yourselves and then find out you can't get from point A to point B without a GPS device, doesn't it? Moreover, now they're stuck behind a lumber truck, at which Aaron starts honking. Loudly. At 6:00 in the morning or whenever it is. Very nice behavior, kid. I'm sure the neighbors appreciate it, and it's probably going to help a lot.

Andre and Damon comment that they're going to find a hotel and look for someone who speaks English who can advise them. This no-Spanish issue is turning out to be quite a handicap.

Dennis and Andrew. Dennis says that Andrew was right about the navigating, and he laments not having listened, because now he's gotten them both lost. Ooh, a little bit of a bittersweet parenting metaphor! Did you catch it? Andrew grimaces in the back seat, but he's clearly feeling pretty good about Dad admitting that he got one right.

Teri and Ian have taken a wrong turn also, and they stumble across Dennis and Andrew. These two teams -- the nice and the nasty -- form a mutually opportunistic and transitory alliance to get to the pyramid. Elsewhere, Andre and Damon adopt a local and take him along in their SUV so he can lead them to the pyramid. He promises he knows how to get there.

Tramel, meanwhile, is getting directions. When he gets back in the SUV, Talicia compliments him on how well he's communicating, despite a lack of Spanish. "I just took it back to caveman times," he says. "Point, grunt, smile." She laughs. Heh -- me too. I actually communicate that way a lot, even with people who speak English.

MeHugeYouTiny is finally approaching the pyramid, as Flo yells harpily at Zach. After they're most of the way there, Aaron congratulates himself for passing Zach and pulling into the lead. Yeah, way to go, now that you've relied on someone else to get you all the way to the sign for the entrance. When MeHugeYouTiny arrives at the pyramid, they are distraught to see that Heave has already arrived. You've got to give Heave credit -- they made up an hour on those fools. "Tell me you're not annoyed," Aaron snots to Jill, attempting to stir up trouble, despite the fact that due the operating hours, it made absolutely no difference, and despite the fact that had he wanted to, he could perfectly well have busted out his own damn map and navigated for himself. This sequence of mocking Zach, following Zach, and then bitching about Zach's driving strikes me as totally ridiculous. I don't know what his normal mode is, but today, Aaron's being a real whiner. Everyone stands around doing the Operating Hours Bunching Boogie for a while.

As dawn arrives, Andre and Damon and their personal Fern are finding their way to the route marker. At 7:00 AM, MeHugeYouTiny, Heave, and the Brothers Contrastamazov are sent through the gates and run toward the pyramid. Gerard says that as they climbed the pyramid (he says "ran up the pyramid," but unless you're using some pretty flexible definitions...uh, not), they were passed by John Vito and Jill, who he refers to as "Rambette." Hee! He comments that Rambette "looked like a spider" climbing up there. I'll be damned if he's not right. I think it's partly that, because she's small, she can get down and use her hands to help stabilize her on the steps. Jill I am starting to like. She seems to be able to be no-nonsense without being rude or obnoxious. Also, she looks like if you annoyed her, she could crush you like a bug, despite being about five feet tall. I also imagine that she might deliver a well-placed knee if you called her "spunky." She is first to the clue, and it tells her and Jon Bon Vito (as I said in the forums quite a while ago, I loved him back when he did "You Give Love A Bad Name") to get themselves to the San Marino Marina in Cancun. Cancun? Dude, what is this, the Club Med season? Phil tells us, though, that they are required to take a bus to Cancun, which is over a thousand miles. Okay, so I suppose the extended bus travel is going to make up for any luxury they're able to wring out of Cancun itself. Ken and Gerard get the clue , and then the rest of MeHugeYouTiny and Heave.

Dennis and Andrew have gotten themselves a bit lost. Behind them, Ian complains about how slowly they drive, and how they should all have been at the pyramids an hour ago. Well, dude, you could have gone and taken the lead yourself if that had been your inclination. Again, I have to object to The Pitiful Whine Of The Follower. Of course, I guess complaining is more satisfying than just admitting that neither you nor the person you're following knows how to get where you're going. ["It is. Or, um, so I have heard." -- Sars] Whatever.

Jill and John Vito race toward the bus station, followed closely by Ken and Gerard. Gerard now reveals that not only does he call Jill "Rambette," but he calls John Vito "the Rock." Snerk. Not bad. I can just tell right now that I'm going to cry like a little girl when they're eliminated. The remainder of MeHugeYouTiny is hanging back with Heave, a bit behind the leaders.

Andre and Damon arrive at the top of the pyramid. They pull the clue and head back down, and as they leave, they run into Teri and Ian and Dennis and Andrew. (And also some people in nondescript green sweaters, but they have nothing to do with this show, so we won't talk about them. I certainly hope that the green sweater people enjoyed the pyramid, though.) Damon (I think) talks about how pleasant it was to see some other teams that were behind them, especially since they started the morning a half hour behind both of those teams. He specifically mentions how energizing it was to see Ian look so dejected. Yeah, I'm not sure Ian is exactly winning friends and influencing people, if you know what I'm saying. I like the little psych-yourself-up routine that Andre and Damon do as they walk. "Two!" "Two hours!" "Caught their ass and passed 'em!" It's cute. When they get to the van, they thank Fern-ando. (I think his name is actually Gustavo.)

Derek and Drew arrive at the museum to get the Fast Forward. The Head Volador (or whatever) shows them what they'll be doing, with the whole "fly through the air with the greatest of vertigo" idea. The less weird-looking twin (who I believe is Drew) comments that it might be worse than skydiving.

Tramel and Talicia must have struggled to get to the pyramid, because they get there and get to the top last. He encourages her on the climb, reminding her that down is going to be a lot easier than up.

Derek and Drew fly with the Voladores. They don't have to do it hanging by their feet, though, which makes it less likely that they will fall on their picturesque noggins, which sort of ruins the fun of it all. The way they do it, it doesn't actually look that scary at all. No worse than rappelling down a cliff. I've seen far more intimidating amusement park rides, and you have to do those after you've just eaten a wad of cotton candy. I have to say also that I'm constantly surprised that they look so skinny. They look a lot buffer in their widely-circulated naked pictures. Not that I've looked at any.

Drunken cameramen careen around the Tapo bus station, where Rambette and the Rock have arrived with Ken and Gerard to get tickets.

The whole swinging-with-the-Voladores thing turns out to be, all things considered, a bit anticlimactic. When it's over, the twins read the clue, and as Phil elaborates, it tells them to go straight to the pit stop, which is at the Diamante K Bungalows.

Kenny and Gerard have arrived at the bus station with John Vito and Jill. What's especially funny is that "Rambette" is apparently no behind-the-back snark, because Gerard calls out to Jill using exactly that name. "Rambette! Rambette!" Interestingly, they both get a point with me for that. One for him for being snarky to her face, and one for her for apparently not minding too much. Furthermore, when they start to run short of time and she gets frustrated, Jill sort of puts her face in Ken's chest. Aw. Friendship. I think Team We Stole Drew's Accent may wind up being by far my favorite of the MeHugeYouTiny teams.

In news of lesser MeHugeYouTinies, Flo and Zach pull into the bus station, followed by Aaron and Arianne, who manage to actually mug in the course of announcing that they found the bus station. How do they do that? Inside, Jill and John Vito and Ken and Gerard climb aboard the 10:00 AM bus just as the couple of teams show up. As Zach goes for tickets, Flo heads right for the sign that says "Departures." Zach points out that they need tickets first. "Departures is tickets, isn't it?" There's nothing wrong with what she's saying here, but the way she says it...man. Something about the way this girl talks just makes me want to haul off and smack her. She's also in her second bandanna of the day (she was in red this morning; she's in blue now), which seems a little excessive to me. Flo takes some pleasure in catching up with Aaron and Arianne and telling them that they "ditched the girls" (meaning Heave). Nice. Speaking of the Heavers, here they come. Andre and Damon approach the airport as well, as the MeHugeYouTinies grab their tickets for the 10:00 AM. When Heave gets to the ticket counter, they're put on the path to tickets on the 10:00 AM, but then there's some kind of delay, and it gets a little dicey. And how does Eve respond to adversity? She plays into stereotypes that other women have spent years fighting! What fun. She tells us that when the guy came over to talk to her, she started crying hysterically, trying to "work it" so they could get on that bus. I suddenly feel obligated to apologize for her, on behalf of all female attorneys who are not like that at all.

Andre and Damon pull up outside and note the buses. "Look at those buses, dawg." Well...it's a bus station, after all.

All of the MeHugeYouTinies make it onto the first bus with Gerard and Ken and Jill and John Vito (who I'm starting to enjoy enough that I hesitate to lump them in with the rest) and Heave. Andre and Damon almost make it, but not quite. They lament having missed the first bus, and I can't blame them. But you know, it's a game of minutes. Rob said it in Season One, and Blake said it in Season Two, so it must be true. Oracles, I tell you. Both of them.

Andre and Damon are joined at the bus station by the trailing teams, including Teri and Ian, Derek and Drew, Tramel and Talicia, and Andrew and Dennis. "The little gap that we had, the teams behind us, they caught up," Andre laments. I send him a TWoP/TAR dictionary, with "bunching" circled. Derek and Drew discuss their fate with Ian, who points out that there are several teams ahead of them. Incidentally, Derek and Drew are wearing matching de-sleeved shirts in a little gingham-y check. One in red, one in blue. They're like a walking Frank room. They should have rooster tattoos, and then instead of having real six-pack bellies, they could just paint pictures of six-pack bellies on themselves. Anyway, Ian tells them that he thinks the FF will stake them to a spot in the top five in the end of the leg, since they'll be able to skip the rest of the tasks once they get to Cancun. In an interview, Derek and Drew point out that the entire point of the FF is to be first. They're kind of dopey, but they make a good point. I think Ian is maybe not quite grasping how much leg is probably left at this point. Ian, back in the Pepe Le Pew hat, says that one of the four non-FF teams will be eliminated. "We're hoping it's not us." Well, dare to dream.

Phil, with the help of an especially tired-looking Amazing Yellow Line, says that the teams are on a twenty-four-hour bus ride to Cancun. Yuck. You'd have to start that trip with, "Four hundred thousand bottles of beer on the wall, four hundred thousand bottles of beer...." When they get there, they need to find the San Marino Marina. Phil recaps who's on what bus, in case you became distracted by the hypnotic AYL. First bus is Ken and Gerard, John Jill Bon Vito, the MeHugeYouTinies, and Heave. Note the cameraman caressing John Vito's arm. Mm, John Vito's arm. On the second bus are the Gingham Posse, Teri and the Pew, Tramel and Talicia, Andre and Damon, and Andrew and Dennis.

At 12:15 AM, the second bus does something that causes a big crashing noise.

Commercials. Hey, that dork has my cell phone. Do I have to get a different one now?

The racers on The Bus Of Doom get up to check out the damage. It appears that the bus has collided with a white car, and both are out of commission. As Derek and Drew explain the situation in the middle of the night, both are wearing their glasses (probably took their contacts out before they went to sleep). I must have a really overwhelming and pathological geek fetish, because this is the first time they've looked hot to me, ever. I think it's partly because I normally find their eyes sort of small and beady, and the glasses help alleviate that. Or else I just have a thing for geeks, which I wouldn't discount as a possibility. The bus lady informs the anxious teams that they'll be getting a new bus in about twenty or thirty minutes. Everyone laments the additional delay. Bus #1, on the other hand, continues to race along happily. Heather shows us that she is eating peanut butter and jelly. How fascinating. Meanwhile, those on The Bus Of Doom get aboard a new bus so they can get on their way again. Tramel and Talicia tell us that it's nothing to worry about. All they need is a spark, because they're Team TnT. I'm telling you -- naming yourself? Is bad luck. Ask the "Gutsy Grannies."

Morning comes, and the first bus gets to Cancun. Everyone runs for taxis. There is a lot of confirming with cab drivers that they know where the marina is. In the Aaron/Arianne cab, Aaron explains that they aren't sure whether they'll be needing their swimsuits today, and since they've only been on the bus for twenty-four hours and obviously had no opportunity to change in a bathroom or anything, Arianne will be taking her top off in the cab. But it's by necessity, really. They're not attention hounds or anything. "Girls Gone Wild!" she shouts in a way she is sure is very, very funny, as she whips her shirt off in the back of the taxi, to the great amusement of the driver. There just isn't enough "whatever" in the world to properly service this scene.