Ready To Lose Our Lives

3:35 AM. Boston, fresh from their meat pie triumph, opens the clue. Chris, as always, is resplendently accessorized with The Amazing Purse. I know I tease Chris about the Purse, but I do understand. Where else is he going to keep his compact and his little can of hairspray? Anyway, the clue tells them that they have to take one or more flights and wind up at a bridge outside Queenstown, New Zealand. Phil Phil-overs that this journey is, in total, more than two thousand miles, and they have to start by driving themselves to a place where some big tractor-trailers are parked. When they get there, they'll load up their SUVs onto the trucks, and then they can sleep while they're hauled to a place called Glendambo. After that, they'll unload the SUVs and drive to the Glendambo airstrip to hop a flight to Adelaide, and then it's Adelaide to New Zealand, using whatever arrangements they can come up with. To underscore the importance of performing this task quickly, two kangaroos bound across the frame. Okay, the kangaroos don't really have anything to do with performing the task quickly, but I think the editors are sitting on a lot of kangaroo footage, and they only have a short time to cram it in before they have to switch to sheep.

At any rate, Boston selects an SUV and climbs in. Alex sits in the back and becomes the navigator, all the while anxiously chewing his gum. When Boston finds the trucks, Chris refers to them as "pretty ladies all in a row." Ugh. Chris needs to stop watching quite so many gangster movies, or else he needs to internalize them a little less. They locate their driver, who starts to help them load their SUV onto the truck. They quickly get on their way, in a big trailer that says "REFRIGERATED EXPRESS." They take this opportunity to relax, but I'm not going to make a "chilling out" joke, even though you know I could. I would be fired, but I could do it. As they rest during the ride, Chris mentions that he and Alex left at 3:35, and the team to leave will be Paige and Blake at 5:01.

5:01 AM. Paige and Blake. Paige has this week combined her Teeny Tiny Ponytail Horns Of Fashion Tragedy with a Batman t-shirt, all of which makes her look a little like some kind of crime-fighting toddler -- Super Rugrat, you might say. As they head out, Blake voices over about how confident he and Paige are feeling (I would think so, having tripped over more luck in the last several episodes than this show has ever seen). "If we make absolute perfect decisions and move quickly, then no one can catch us," he says. Blake: Professor of Tautology. They climb into their SUV.

5:06 AM. Wil and Tara. They count their money and head out. The Weasel voices over that he and Tara are both stubborn, and "it seems like the world's not big enough for both of [them]." I can't swear that this is the issue, but it seems to me that there would actually be a lot more room in the world if Wil would do something about his hair, for God's sake. With all the tufts extending in random directions, it is more of a piece of engineering ingenuity than ever, which is really saying something, considering that this hair has, in weeks, been written up in Architectural Digest. He hopes their relationship will improve to the point where they can "work together." I hope they both burst into flames.

5:09 AM. Danny and Oswald. Oswald explains as they walk to their car that he and Danny don't really have the "edgy competitiveness" of the other teams. He says he doesn't want to "crush anyone" or "hurt anyone." He thinks they have a shot at winning, so don't count him out. I certainly hope he's right.

Teeth car. Blake anxiously discusses the four-minute lead they're trying to hold onto. "Right, Paige?" "That's right," she says mechanically. Wow, that was creepy. Not like dirty-creepy, just creepy. There's something about the way they talk to each other that just strikes me as completely unnatural. It's impossible for me to imagine what they're like when they're not on television, but I can't imagine they're like this. It's just weird.

Taraweasel car, where for once Wil is driving and Tara is navigating. "Every second counts," he emphasizes, knowing that the Teeth are right up ahead.

The Teeth find the trucks. As they finish loading their SUV, Paige comments that Tara and Wil are arriving. "So they're right on our tail," she baby-voices. You know, I think if you put a pinhole in her side and let some of the helium out, Paige would talk just like Kathleen Turner. She also notes that Cha-Cha-Cha is just behind Tara and the Weasel. "This is crazy," she chirps. That Paige chirp is very versatile. I suspect she uses it for both joy and medical emergencies.

As Taraweasel finishes chaining up their vehicle, Tara says, "Make me proud, Papa" to someone. I can't tell who it is, and at this point I really don't care. If it's Wil? Ew. If it's the driver? EW! Meanwhile, Oswald beckons the Cha-Cha-Cha driver to help them with the loading, just as Tara and the Weasel work on getting their driver moving. "How can we help you make this go fast?" Tara says impatiently. Before you know it, things have progressed, and she and Wil and the Teeth pile into the trucks at about the same time. Blake gives their driver directions, which is fine, and calls him "mate," which is not fine. "We've never been in an eighteen-wheeler before, and this is pretty cool," Paige says, still wearing that same grin -- she doesn't leave home without it, that's for sure. Taraweasel also drives off.

Cha-Cha-Cha, still supervising the loading of their SUV onto the truck. "Oh, come on, I want to go," Oswald mutters to himself as they stand around. "Hey, relax," Danny reminds him. "I know, I know, I know," Ozzie answers. "Do you need to help us do anything [sic] to get going quicker, or...we're cool standing here?" he asks the driver. Well, of course they're cool standing there. They're cool standing anywhere.

Wil is told that it's a three-and-a-half hour drive to where they're going. I'm curious about why they didn't just drive the SUVs. It's not as if they've never driven a few hours before, I don't think. Could they have been trying to give them time to sleep? No three-and-a-half hour drives when everybody's sleep-deprived? Very curious.

Danny and Oswald finally jump in and get going. We see a few lovely night shots of the drive, and then we peek in on Boston, snoozing in the luxurious cabin of their rig. Blake and Paige are curled up sleeping, too, and for all the ribbing they've taken for apparently "spooning" in this shot, that's the way you sleep two people comfortably in this amount of space, it seems to me. I mean, he richly deserved a raised eyebrow for that speech about wanting to marry her, but this didn't strike me as odd in the least. Frankly, for the Teeth, this is refreshingly normal.

As morning comes and their early morning ride draws to a close, Alex says that he and Chris are going to find a phone, so that they can call ahead and get started finding flights. Boston arrives in Glendambo, and Phil explains that their job is to drive themselves to the local airstrip and catch a 10:30 or an 11:15 charter flight to Adelaide to start the trip to Queenstown. Boston finds out that the airport is only a few minutes down the road, so they have time to get on the phone and work on flights before they take off. Alex starts his phone call like this: "Hi, this is my predicament" It appears that he merely goes on to say that he needs to fly from Adelaide to Queenstown. For a minute, I thought he was going to say, "Here's my predicament -- I'm involved with this woman, and she has this nasty-ass husband with painfully bad hair, and we're in competition for a million dollars, and there are all these TV cameras" I sort of wish he had. The news on airline tickets isn't so good -- Alex passes along to Chris that, apparently, there's no way to get the flights done until the day. "No one's gettin' to New Zealand tonight," he says. Doesn't that sound like a line from a terribly exciting movie of the week? "You'd better call out the Air Force, Mr. President -- no one's getting to New Zealand tonight." Okay, so it wouldn't be that exciting.

As they wait around by the phones at the Mobil station (which is actually a big oasis called the Glendambo Roadhouse, complete with restaurant and so forth), Boston spots two more teams arriving. The Teeth and Taraweasel unload their SUVs. Taraweasel runs up to Boston, all agitated to get to the airport. Tara is clearly surprised that Boston is just standing around at the Roadhouse, given that there are these limited-seat charters to Adelaide leaving forty-five minutes apart. She wonders if they don't understand about the charters. "You have to go sit in your seat, or you don't get a seat," Tara tells Chris, who responds that it makes no difference whether they fly to Adelaide at 10:30 or 11:15, because there are no flights out until the day anyway. Blake runs up to the group just as Tara and Chris are walking away, and Wil hands him the news: "Doesn't matter, dude, we're not getting in till tomorrow."

Blake goes into the Roadhouse and asks for directions to the airstrip. As the guy gives them to him, he makes little directional hand gestures, and Blake sort of mimics them the whole time, which just looks very funny, like watching somebody's lips move when they read. Once they've secured the directions, the Teeth run out and hop in their SUV and take off, which provokes Wil and Tara to roar into action behind them. Wil's hair is reaching truly crazed proportions right about now -- it's like it's a metaphor for his mental stability. He and Tara bicker about where the airstrip is. Wil thinks it's on the road that runs right by the Roadhouse, but Tara says -- very snottily, I might add -- "I asked Chris and Alex, and they said it was on the main road." "This is the main road," Wil grumps. Tara gives in, and they take off in the same direction as the Teeth. Chris, seeing Taraweasel leave, shrugs it off. "They can sit on the plane three hours for something that doesn't matter." He, apparently, would rather stand by a phone booth for three hours, because that definitely matters. Oh, and Chris? Take off that bandanna you've got tied around your head. Your head and Chachi's leg should not be similarly attired. This is a bad sign.

The Teeth progress toward the airstrip, unnecessarily happy about getting on the first flight. Blake says that although Wil and Tara and Boston are sure there's no purpose in getting the earlier flight, "you take risks in this game, and [he] think[s] this is a risk that's going to pay off." He goes on to explain that it's always possible that working the phone will turn out to be a better strategy than going to the airport, but once again, Blake is always looking for the Wacky Scheme, and so he's hoping he won't screw himself by not getting a flight on the phone like everybody else is doing.

Behind them, Wil points out that he's following Blake, but he has no idea whether Blake knows where he's going. "You know Blake and directions," Wil says warily. HA! Okay, in thirteen episodes? You have to think everybody's going to make me laugh once, and that was Wil's chance. Wil decides the Teeth are on a road to nowhere, and he turns back toward the Mobil station. Practically as soon as he's gone, the Teeth reach the Glendambo Airfield. Oooh, burn! Wil was funny, but wrong about Blake in this case. One point for the Glowtoothed Boy.

Back at the Roadhouse, Wil chats with Boston about the location of the airport, and then leaves to go ask somebody for directions. He really does seem like the screws are coming a bit loose in these last few days of the race. Alex speaks in a low and amused voice to Tara about the disintegration of her team. "You guys seem like you're losin' it," he says. "Is Wil losin' his maah-bles or what?" Snerk. "Dude, Wil lost 'em," she responds. I really don't like her, butdouble snerk. Chris approaches them. "Is he comin' unwound?" he asks, referring to Wil. They return to the topic of flights, and Alex explains that Boston's flights are all booked to Queenstown. At this point, Wil returns to Tara and says he wants to leave for the airstrip. She asks him what happened to what was apparently his plan, which was to stay at the Roadhouse and call to book their flights to New Zealand. "Dude, make up your mind," she says. He asks her what she would like to do, and she says, "I'm not telling you, you just figure it out." Oh, dear. This is not a good situation at all. "I quit," Wil declares dramatically, but Tara just laughs. "You always quit," she points out. Wil curls up at the gas pumps, swearing that he's staying right there and will go no further. "I thought you weren't going to quit again," Alex says, amused. Taraweasel bicker some more, and Tara winds up telling Wil that he's "just an idiot." Boy, it's hard to imagine how these two crazy kids went wrong, isn't it? In an interview, Tara says she was really frustrated, because Wil has been doing nothing but griping all the time, and in his interview, he actually agrees. As they pull out of the Roadhouse to go to the airstrip, Tara yells out the window, "Can I please have a new partner?" (Write your own "didn't she already get one?" joke here.) They drive off, and Chris, leaning on the hood of the Boston SUV, smirks just a little. "Kid's comin' unwound," he comments. Yeah, no kidding. But of course it's Wil, so the winding was never really all that tight to begin with.

At the airstrip, the Teeth proudly claim their seats on the 10:30 charter. Wil and Tara approach, with Wil noting that they had, in fact, been heading in the right direction when they were following the Teeth the first time. (That's what you get for incorrectly doubting the power of the Teeth.) He and Tara make it onto the first charter (which still apparently isn't leaving for a while), just as Chris and Alex drive out of the Roadhouse. "Let's get it on," Chris says. Yeah, you know, his appeal is wearing right off at this point. I think this is going to work out just fine. He says that it makes no difference what charter they're on, because their New Zealand flights are all booked anyway. "No worries, like they say in Australia, you know?"

Danny and Oswald de-truck at the Roadhouse. They each get on a phone, and they start yelling back and forth between the booths. "Where am I going again?" Danny asks. "From Adelaide to Queenstown," Oswald tells him. Danny goes back to his phone call, and says, "To Queensburg." Heh. "QUEENSTOWN, NEW ZEALAND," Ozzie emphatically repeats, and Danny obediently corrects himself. They line up their flights and drive out to the airstrip. All the teams meet up at the charters and do a little chatting. The 10:30 eventually takes off with Blake and Paige on board, as well as Wil and Tara. "This leg is going to be crazy," Paige voices over. "We have this advantage, but we're still going to be perfect with our decisions." Given that they don't have flights yet, I think it's a stretch to say they have any advantage -- after all, unless Boston was wrong to say there were no earlier flights than the ones they got, Paige and Blake are going to gain nothing from being on the first flight. Horns Of Perseverance: "BLATBLATBLAT BLATBLATBLAT BLATBLATBLAT BLAT!"

Boston boards the 11:15 with Cha-Cha-Cha. Oswald, in a voice-over: "It's such a difficult thing to predict which teams are going to be in the top three, because all four of [the teams] have totally different ways of competing." Very true.

The first plane lands in Adelaide at noon. Wil and Tara go in and buy their tickets to Queenstown, with Wil stressing the importance of being in the front of the plane. The Teeth learn that Wil and Tara snagged the last few seats for the first leg of the flight, so they're on a later flight leaving Adelaide. See, Blake? You might have been smart to listen to Chris.

Second charter lands at 12:45, and before you know it, we're on the Adelaide-to-Melbourne flight, which leaves at 2:05 PM. This flight is carrying Boston, Cha-Cha-Cha, and Taraweasel. Phil explains, with the help of The Amazing Yellow Line and The Amazing World Map, that the teams are going from Melbourne to Christchurch (which is in New Zealand), and then Christchurch to Queenstown. Back at the Adelaide airport, Blake is trying to find something to get the Teeth to Queenstown "faster," but it's not clear at this point whether they're looking for a way to get there before the other teams, or whether they're looking to catch up with the other teams. Paige makes a reference to "find[ing] whatever they [presumably the other teams] found," but I'm not sure why they'd be having trouble getting the same flights that were apparently pretty easy for the other three teams to book, soit's not making perfect sense to me. He and Paige make it onto a flight to Melbourne that leaves at 2:40, so it seems they're not having too much trouble. With two more legs after this, that would seem to be a very manageable gap, and I'd assume they'd catch everybody else when they get to Melbourne, wouldn't you?

The Boston/Cha/Taraweasel plane lands in Melbourne at 2:45, followed by the Teeth at 3:20. The Teeth try to finagle an earlier flight, but eventually they wind up on exactly the same flight to Christchurch as everybody else. I sort of admire Blake for constantly trying to improve his lot, but honestly, he does expend a lot of energy on complex plans that don't pan out, you know? He should go work for Salon. At any rate, everybody winds up on the same flight to Christchurch at 6:15 that night, which gets them in at 1:00 in the morning. Everybody takes a snooze in the lounge at their departure gate for the flight.

The morning at 5:30, we see Oswald starting the day by putting in his contacts. Wow, now that seems like it would be a pain in the ass on a trip like this. I'd almost think you'd wear your glasses and forget it, though I suppose that could be awkward, too (that's apparently what Danny did). I also feel obligated to mention that Oswald is still really cute. Really, really cute. Are you sure I shouldn't marry him? Hmm. All right, if you still think it might be a bad idea.

As we begin the day, Blake hatches The Plan That Launched A Thousand Forum Posts, which is to carry on the backpacks rather than checking them. At the gate as they board, the gate agent says, and I quote, "Bring any bags?" And Blake says, "Uhhh, no." Yeah, that's a lie right there. He wasn't asked whether he needed to check any, he wasn't asked whether he wanted to check any, he wasn't asked whether he had checked any. He was asked whether he brought any bags, and he said no. And, in fact, I'd argue that the word "bring" specifically suggests that she's referring to whether he has any bags with him right now. And he says no. Big old lie. Furthermore, it's a lie to an airline, which, in these times, is not something one should do. Yes, the agent could see that they had bags after they had passed her and headed down the tunnel, but I'm sure it becomes rather tiresome to chase idiots all day long, and furthermore, she probably knew they weren't terrorists, what with the CBS cameras and everything. Any way you slice it, though, it's still a lie. To that point, the other teams are quite distraught to see that Blake has pulled off this particular Wacky Scheme. They argue to the gate agent that it's hardly fair that the Teeth were allowed to carry their bags on when other teams weren't.

Now, here's where I do a little speculating. Just about every time we've ever seen teams in this race get on a plane in either season, they've carried their bags on. We've seen it many, many times -- backpacks being put into or taken out of the overhead compartment. There is absolutely no freaking way that the other teams on this flight checked their bags because they weren't smart enough to think of carrying them on. No team in this race would ever have checked their bags unless they had specific reason to believe that they had to. So this is my guess: I think they were told, either by the person who sold them their tickets, or by the gate agent, or by somebody, that they had to check everything. Perhaps it's the size of the plane, perhaps it's security, whatever. But somebody told them they had to check the backpacks. And the Teeth ignored it. And they got away with it, and that's fine. But here are these other teams, who have been told by the airline that there's a rule you have to follow, and they've followed it, and now a team that lied and ignored the rule is being granted an advantage? That would piss me off, too. Moreover, keep in mind that Blake and Paige already have a reputation -- deserved or not -- for behaving questionably to try to gain an advantage. Remember the discussion about the fact that allowing themselves to get that reputation could one day bite the Teeth in the butt? Yeah, me too.

The other teams continue to press their case to the gate agent, who is totally unsympathetic because, frankly, she screwed up and would rather not discuss it. They ask why some were allowed to carry their bags on and some weren't, and she says, "I don't know." Note that she doesn't say, "Nobody else asked," or "You all could have carried on your bags" -- comments that would have shut everybody else right up. Chris points out that the Teeth lied about having no bags, but the agent remains unmoved. Alex, in an interview, calls the "blatant lie" a "good move on their part" in its own way, but ultimately says that if the Teeth want to get cute, they should expect others to get cute with them in return. If the rule is "whatever you can get away with is all right"? Well, the Teeth are about to find out that that one cuts both ways, and one way is going to be a well-deserved buzz saw right down the center of this particular Wacky Scheme.

Commercials. If you don't take Allegra, no one will like you. Ever. Everyone will think you're antisocial. They already don't invite you to their parties, have you noticed? You are on thin ice as it is. My advice? Allegra.

Plane Of Controversy. "Everyone's a little pissed this morning, because we're the only team with bags on the plane," Blake says. Now we switch to Boston for the opposing view. "We all had to check our bags -- just the policy of the airline," Chris says. (Policy of the airline -- hear that?) He goes on to say that lying about not having bags was "cheap," and an "outright lie." Which...it was, of course. On the plane, Tara and Alex discuss the fact that they think it might be a little more fair if nobody were allowed off the plane until the checked luggage makes it off. The flight lands in Queenstown. Chris voices over that Boston was in the front of the plane and the Teeth were in the back. "We were like, 'We're not gonna let them get the jump on us,'" he says. Alex grabs the cabin intercom and says in his best customer-service voice, "We'll be underway here in just two minutes if everyone can just give a couple more seconds..." Hee. "Chris, please get ready to run," he continues with a grin. Um...hee, again. Now, before you go getting all worked up, note that this is all being done with a lot of chuckling, and it's pretty obvious that the people working on the plane have been completely co-opted into participating, or at least into allowing it to go on -- probably because they know exactly what's going on with the luggage, they know they screwed up at the other end of the flight, and this is frankly a rather fair way of putting everybody on even footing, which they would have been anyway if the airline had enforced its own policy. Frontier justice, is what this is. In an interview, Danny says that Alex's adventures on the intercom were "hilarious," and that everybody on the plane was laughing. Well, not so much the Teeth, I think, but everybody else. Blake is griping, unsurprisingly.

Alex voices over that the folks working the plane indeed understood the situation, so they weren't about to intervene. His move is to broadly fake a leg injury and collapse to the floor, blocking the aisle. (He's laughing the entire time -- he's not actually attempting to fool anyone.) Blake and Paige finally brilliantly deduce that they're being intentionally held back. "Those guys are stayin' on the freaking front of the plane acting like jackasses," Blake notes. Aw, sucks when your own rule-stretcher is countered by somebody else's rule-stretcher, doesn't it? Incidentally, the lady at the bottom of the steps as they de-plane is, I'm pretty sure, the same lady they were complaining to back at the gate (the lady with the hat and the glasses), so she knows exactly what's what, and as stated previously, what she's doing is basically letting the teams equalize the situation for themselves rather than doing what she probably should have originally done, which is haul the Teeth's carry-on bags off the plane and make them check them like everybody else did.

In short, I found that entire sequence very, very funny, I laughed out loud repeatedly, Blake and Paige deserved it, and I completely side with Boston. It was a minor bit of revenge for a minor bad act, and it ought to be laid to rest. Period.

Once the luggage gets off the plane, everybody runs for the terminal. Well, the other teams run -- the Teeth walk, which makes me even less sympathetic to their cause. Boston jumps in a cab, as do Tara and Wil and Cha-Cha-Cha. Blake and Paige land a ride, too, once the driver corrects them about which side of the van to jump in from. Would've been funny to see Blake trying to find the door handle on the wrong side of the van, though. I think he might have looked for quite a while. Anyway, Phil explains that they're headed for Wentworth Station, a farm where their clue can be found. Chris says that Taraweasel and Cha-Cha-Cha are just behind Boston, and the Teeth are "freakin' out, 'cause they thought they had a jump, and now they don't." Ah, another of Blake's schemes goes down in flames. Maybe he should have offered the flight attendants a wooden rhino.

Speaking of the Teeth, here's Blake, telling their driver to speed, and Blake will pay for the tickets. So, just to refresh your memory, if you're casting Blake in the role of Captain Put-Upon in the morality play inside your head? You've just got to trust me -- he's really not cut out for the part. He and Paige say that they're going to go do the Fast Forward. They've decided it's now most advantageous to go for it, as Phil explains during his Fast Forward speech. This week, you claim the FF by taking a speedboat ride on the Shotover River, spotting a flag, and grabbing the ticket. Not terribly challenging, I must say, but more so than a meat pie.

Taraweasel, Boston, and 3Cha are still making their way to the station. "You gotta just, like, floor it, man," Alex tells their driver. "It is floored, it is flat, so do not panic, we will get there," the slightly irritated driver tells him. Heh. Way to stand up for yourself, driver. Don't let the neckless push you around. Of course, Taraweasel now passes Boston, so the definition of "floored" depends on what particular cab you happen to be in. In the Cha cab, Ozzie explains that they are sticking with Taraweasel and Boston, and the Teeth are on their own.

Speaking of Blake and Paige, here's Blake, on the way to the FF: "The game is getting tight, you know...this is the final four. I don't have any loyalties, or alliances, or anything. It's Paige and I versus them." First, wouldn't that be "Paige and me"? ["Actually, the verb 'to be' requires the subjective case except in its infinitive form, so, no. In case anyone's working on an Amazing Grammar manuscript." -- Sars] Second, when did Blake ever have any loyalties or alliances? When has Blake ever played for anyone but himself? In short, shut up, Blake. Cheater! Speeder! They find the speedboat and take off. Flying down the river, Paige clutches her absurdly inappropriate knit hat (take the damn hat off, sweetheart), they look for the flag, and the only highlight is when Blake gets splashed with water right in the face and reports that it's cold.

Tara and Wil, apparently due to the stellar performance of their taxi driver, are the first to Wentworth Station. Boston is right behind, followed by Oswald and Danny. The clue sends them to the Nevis Highwire Platform, which is out in the middle of a gorge. To get there, you drive up the mountain and then hop a gondola. (No, not a gondola like in Venice -- a gondola like at a ski resort.) On the way up, Wil wants to discuss what the hell a Nevis Platform is. Heh. This will be a nice one for Wil, Afraid-Of-Heights Man. The word "platform" doesn't really thrill him so much. Worse yet, he opens what looks like a little brochure, which indicates that this platform is the home of the "mother of all bungee jumps." Tara is tickled. Wil smiles nervously, and it's officially Wil's First Endearing Moment Ever.

If you were ever going to find Alex good-looking -- and I'm not saying I necessarily did -- it would be in this shot, as he and Chris make their way up the mountain. "Oh, man," Chris intones disbelievingly at the site of the gorge and the platform. Cha-Cha-Cha spots it too. "You don't see this back in Miami," Danny comments. Oswald agrees. Here, I have the urge to make some sort of Florida electoral "platform" joke, but somehow an overwhelming wave of mercy has motivated me to spare you.

The Teeth, blah blah blah, the river, blah blah blah, the flag, blah blah blah, the Fast Forward, blah blah blah, ugly headgear, blah blah blah. Man, these people bore me.

At the gondola station, Taraweasel runs to sign up (each gondola can carry two teams). Boston and Cha-Cha-Cha follow.

The river is difficult, and the Teeth are beginning to be impacted. But they find it, grab it, and go. Thank God. They're clear to drive to the Inverary Sheep Station. Blake says they've "got to get there before 10:00." Before 10:00? Why? That makes no sense. Whatever, Toothy.

Platform Of Imminent Death, Music Of Foreboding. As Taraweasel and Boston board the gondola, Wil displays his hand, which has "86" written on it in red ink. Boy, I understand the guy may go "splat" on the rocks, but aren't dental records a more conventional method of identification? As they head out on the gondola toward the platform, everybody is just a bit jumpy. When they arrive, Tara and Wil are the first to go. "Wil's a little bit nervous," Boston comments. Wil is gray, is what Wil is. Wil is the color of granite. When they actually reach the platform, they are given a Detour clue, although given that they're already strapped into bungee gear, I think the outcome is pretty clear at this point. It's classic Reckless/Chicken stuff, because if you refuse the bungee jump, you have to take what looks like an absurdly long hike down, so if you want any chance at all, you'd better jump. Phil explains how both tasks have "pros and cons," but really, the only "pro" the hike has is that it isn't the jump. The jump, by the way, is "tandem," meaning that they do it while bound together.

Taraweasel and Boston both commit to the jump, but Wil still looks seriously, seriously unwell. It's pretty clear that this is not run-of-the-mill bungee nervousness. The guy is, not to put too fine a point on it, fuckin' terrified. And interestingly, what it does is infuse Wil with a shot of humility, which I think is why sympathy for Wil was a common reaction during this sequence. His whole arrogant, self-righteous thing has been completely derailed, and that's why he doesn't seem quite as hideous as usual. Don't worry, it won't last. As he and Tara are hooked up to the equipment, she voices over that his knees were knocking into hers, and as they venture out onto the platform, you can literally see the guy shaking. And a guy has to be shaking pretty hard for you to be able to spot it on TV.