Let's see, it's Mardi Gras, and I'm home. That means I'm gonna get drunk and recap Ally McBeal. It's really the only thing that makes sense.
We open to the night skyline. Tina Turner is singing, "Won't somebody please, please tell me what's wrong?"
Dear Tina: You signed up to do an episode of Ally McBeal. Just writing cuz you were wondering. Love, Pamie.
Tina is singing in the bar and the place is in full swing. People are grooving, Tina is wailing. It's all good. So is my Dos Equis, if you were wondering. Kids, don't drink, but when you get older and crabby like Mommy does every top of every other week when it's Ally McBeal time, you'll appreciate a good Mexican brew. Now go do your homework. Mommy's watching her stories so she can bring some money home. Somehow the extras casting call for this episode was "Extras wanted with no rhythm. Must look like you are really trying. Movement optional." I think Scary Spice is singing backup for Tina. Ally and Elaine are having a conversation as they walk into the crowd. A conversation. Like they are standing over the fax machine instead of right in the middle of a Tina Turner concert. Ally and Elaine discuss entering "the contest" which is on Thursday. Turns out Tina is holding a contest for a backup singer. There is a debate about whether or not these women are still called "Ikettes." Tina is trying her best to drown out Ally, but you know the name of the show. Ally asks if Elaine thinks she'll look silly out there or embarrass the firm. Elaine tells her she should ask their senior partners. Cue shot of John and Richard in their own dance space pointing fingers at each other. It's choreography from Footloose, but I guess no one remembers. Ally says that "out of all of the celebrities in the world" she thinks she's the most like Tina Turner. Riiiiight. Elaine gives Ally a look. Ally sees it. Elaine says that when she first saw Ally that's the first thing she thought to herself. "Oh my God, it's Tina Turner." Elaine looks down at Ally's body as if to drive the point home. Ally begins a series of head tics that are meant to convey grooving.
Vonda does her own version of wailing that very rarely causes anyone to get their groove on or inspire them to move mountains. You can drink half of a beer during the theme song without even trying. Just a little trivia for you.
Does anyone else think that Volkswagen commercial with the cars in a circle looks like an eye test?
Back at the Office That Miraculously Still Employs Ally, Elaine tells Ally that only forty-two people entered the contest, so everyone got in. Apparently they didn't broadcast the contest very well. Ally and Elaine bust into silent dance grooves. Billy walks up and openly ogles their breasts as his mouth opens. Billy asks what's going on. Ally talks for a really long time as Billy reminds her to breathe. She says that her and Elaine are auditioning to be backup singers for Tina Turner. We already knew that, but it's so fun to see her quirks and eye twitches, isn't it? Ally's eyes never blink, except for one that sort of twitches when she says "Elaine." Ally continues (of course) to say that she's now going to get to meet Tina and that she always loved Tina since she "sniffed [Billy's] butt and decided that [he] was the man for [her]," and that she doesn't really like the smell of Billy's ass anymore, but still. Elaine just giggles as Ally gets a temporary case of lockjaw and shakes her head. She makes me very nervous.
John walks into Richard's office and announces that he's fraught. Richard is busy going through his "Gwen's fan mail" folder, which is spilling out little notes left and right. John says he's worried because they have a very difficult case that is going up in front of Judge Walsh, who doesn't like it when Richard opens his mouth and words come out. John says he doesn't want a bunch of Fishisms. Richard says he's really grown as a trial lawyer and that things will be fine. Richard says that he's ready and this signals a cowbell for some reason. He walks out of the office.
Ally is clutching Elaine's arm like the co-dependant that she is. Elaine explains that they only have twenty seconds until they call out the number to show their stuff. Someone heard us bitching about Ally's nipples, so they gave her an undershirt. "Ally?" Pretty Assistant interrupts. I guess she's moved up enough in rank to call her Sandy now. Ally gives Elaine the growl-sneer so she walks away. Ally turns to Sandy and says, "Yes?" in a way that makes me want to smack her. Whoa. I totally turned into my mother just then. Sorry. Sandy thanks Ally for her good advice. Ally acts like she doesn't know what's going on and then "realizes" that Sandy's talking about Billy. Ally asks if Sandy and Billy are together now. Sandy says that it seems so. Before Ally can turn the entire relationship into something about her, Billy walks into the room. "What's new?" Ally sneers. Billy grabs her arm and asks if he can steal her for a second. Ally's lip twitches. He winks to Sandy as he pulls Ally into his office. Billy tells Ally that he thinks entering the contest would be a bad idea because of what it could do to the firm's reputation. Ally calls Billy the pot and says that the kettle shouldn't have to worry about the firm's reputation after the way Billy has been conducting himself lately. Billy admits that he's been "acting crazy" but wants to know whether Ally is planning on doing more of the same. Billy. Baby. She's not acting.
Ally starts immediately bratting that Billy is raining on the one parade she gets. Ally says that Billy is running around with his nineteen-year-old secretary. Billy says that she told Sandy to pursue this relationship. Ally says that she told Sandy to pursue love. She thinks that the problem is Billy's pursuing Sandy. She asks again, "What is she, nineteen?" Same joke twice. "She's twenty-five, and she's a GOOD WOMAN!" Billy says. We all know what he means by that. Ally asks if that's all and Billy opens the door so her flailing arms won't hit her on the ass on her way out. Oh, God. Before I get to open my beer, Ally starts that punching-music thing that I absolutely loathe. Ally punches three times and before my eyes start to bleed brain matter mixed with the blood she walks out of the room. As I bring my new beer to my lips she raises her finger to jut in her mouth, turns around and says, "Oh, oh, oh. And in the continued spirit of our candor? I can see your roots." The door shuts. Billy looks upward as if he can see them too. Ally. I can see your spleen.
Pan up to a transvestite saying that he feels natural in a dress. He says it makes him feel like himself and puts him in touch with his feminine side. He says he feels "soft. Supple." The entire jury lowers their heads to their notepads on the word "supple." John asks him if he was terminated from his job because of the way he dresses. He says he was. He says he was told that he had to start wearing suits or he'd be -- the rest of his sentence is cut off by another man at the table who claps three times. John reminds the court that Mr. Potts (The Clapper) suffers from a compulsive disorder that makes him clap his hands on occasion. We watch The Clapper dust off the table as Richard points out spots that he missed. John asks why Soft and Supple won't just wear a suit. S&S says that he's known since he was twelve that he was a woman. He went to a doctor, but was told that it was just a fetish. John asks if S&S told his boss that he had a medical condition. S&S says that he did and was fired anyway. On cross-examination, the defense lawyer says that S&S was working for a graphic-design company. He says that potential clients would come by the office regularly. He asks if they would stare at S&S. "Not for long they don't," S&S sasses. The Clapper claps three times. David E. Kelley is so winning an award this year for his gentle treatment of mental disorders. Mark my words. He's going to win one despite this mockery of humanity.
Cut to Elaine's butt. It is shaking. Elaine flips up. Her boobs are shaking. How many times have I written "butt" and "boobs" this season? Shaking, shaking, shaking as Elaine dances to "Proud Mary." Ally walks in with a look of shock. Shake. Shake. Ally walks over and turns off the music with a visible pout. Elaine continues to shake and pant until we have a close-up of Elaine putting her hands on her ass to stop the shaking. She says that once they start going they take on a life of their own. David E. Kelley's world is just so perfect, isn't it? Ally asks Elaine if she's sure she should be in the contest. Elaine asks why shouldn't she? Ally says that Elaine is more "Liza Minnelli" than Tina Turner. Elaine storms out before we get to hear what the hell that means. Billy walks in and Ally asks what he wants. Billy apologizes for criticizing her. Ally says she apologizes for picking on his "teenage friend." Billy asks if it bothers her. "No!" she says. "I'm so sure. A little." I've had more valid emotions over burnt Pop-Tarts. Ally says that she's over Billy, but every time he's with someone else she feels "a pinch." She asks if he feels that way. He says he does, a little. Ally gets all uncomfortable and says that she needs to practice because Elaine is going to be hard to beat. Billy asks Ally if she finds this contest "a little silly." Ally says she's become a big fan of silly. I haven't. Billy reminds us of the joke bet that Ally lost, and asks how she thinks she's going to get up there on stage and shake like Tina Turner. Instead of reminding Billy that she slutted out on stage at Christmas, she says that a few years ago she didn't have the need. Ally complains about being a rich professional. I'll spare you. Billy completes her sentence by relating that she's escaping her life. Never a fan of subtlety, Ally asks, "Isn't that what you're doing with Sandy?" Billy looks at Ally for a while. She asks why he's looking at her that way. He says that every once in a while he gets "a hit." "Duck!" Ally says. "Yeah," Billy whispers. The oboe takes us to blackout.
Continuing the most offensive ad campaign ever, The Colonel pretends to be so down with his homies that now he's into basketball. He spins the ball on his finger and at one point pulls his fist down by his hip and shouts "Boo-ya!" Notice how the man never takes off his plantation uniform.
I see Nelle for the first time. It's a L'oreal commercial.
The Clapper explains that he repeats words and claps his hands. He repeats words when he hears other people repeat words. The jurors look nauseous. He says that he was fired because his applauding made people nervous, but it never affected his job. John silently claps his hands.
Ally tells Elaine that she's not going to do the concert. She says she's an attorney and that she should act like one. They bump into Billy on the stairs and he tells Ally that she should do it. Elaine walks off asking Billy to convince Ally. Ally says that it's silly. Billy says that she wants to do it, so she should. He says it's better to regret the things you do than the things you don't do. "What's in there?" he asks, and points to her left breast. "I wanna dance," Ally says. "Then dance," Billy says. First Footloose and now Fame. My beer is ruined. Billy walks away as Ally sniffs his butt. She doesn't, but she does.
"How long are we gonna wait like this?" S&S says as he fixes his make-up. Quiet Witness to him assures him that he looks very nice. Angry Redhead Lady says that she can't believe they are going to settle before she testifies. People start bickering. The Clapper claps. Richard and John walk in and tell them that the defense is willing to settle for seventy-five apiece. They are outraged. John asks if he can be honest. "No," S&S says, "lie to us, you little bug." John is very offended. Richard says that wasn't necessary. Quiet Witness tells S&S to apologize. He does. Richard says that The Clapper came off as a "wackadoo." John says that seventy-five isn't a bad offer. Quiet Witness says that they had planned on spending their lives there and that seventy-five isn't a good enough offer. He says it's not like they have families or "well-rounded lives." Their jobs were their lives and their families were the people they worked with. This always gets right to the heart of John, so he starts to crumble. He says that if they want to continue the fight then they will. Quiet Witness says they do. John announces, "Onward." As they walk out of the room, S&S apologizes again. He says that ever since they weren't allowed to march in the company's Fourth of July parade, he's been pretty angry. He says that if John really thinks they should settle then he could probably talk the others into going along. John says it isn't necessary. They go back into court.
Angry Redhead Lady says that as the company grew and new clients came in, they were told they weren't working out. Quiet Witness is now on the stand and says that they were being fired for being "weirdos." Richard objects to the use of the word "weirdos" even though it's his own witness who said it. Quiet Witness says they had no warning and they got fired just for the way they looked. Under cross-examination he's forced to admit that they hadn't accomplished one of the components of their job descriptions -- to cultivate new clients. He says it was new, and in time they would have done it, but they didn't. The prosecution looks shaky.
The club is filling up with people. The "wackadoos" sit at a table. Billy asks Ally why she isn't in costume. Ally says she figured everyone else would be dressed up. A woman stands on the stage and announces the rules. Once your number is called, "Get your ass up here. You got twenty seconds." She then announces that they are going to be judged by Tina. She points out where Tina is sitting. Everyone turns to look. "Do not approach Miss Turner. You do that, you get disqualified. Do not go near the lady." Ally sneers at her bad luck, but I'm too busy fantasizing about the day I can sit at a table and it is announced that I am a lady and you can't go near me.
Richard and John watch the tape of Richard's media statement from earlier. He's going on about the freaks and weirdos in Boston ("Ever been to a Patriots game? The girls get huge in the winter"). and John is getting very upset. Richard thinks he spoke beautifully. He was supporting "the ugly people." Richard asks John what's bothering him. "Is this case hitting a little too close to home?" Richard enlightens us all by saying that John has a special place in his heart for "oddballs" because he is one. John puts his hands up to his head and asks Richard to not talk. "Please don't talk. Can you do that? Can you not talk?" Kevin Spacey then walks in and asks Richard if he'll go to lunch. Will he go to lunch? Will he go to lunch? Will he go to lunch? Will he go to lunch? Richard immediately begins talking and walks out of the room.
Well, if you're gonna finish February Sweeps the right way, you might as well do it with some ass-shaking. Lord knows you aren't going to find nookie in The 10th Kingdom. Lots of shots of women shaking their things. One woman has that Lockjaw Syndrome where her front teeth jut out while she dances. Some women get more camera time than others. "This could get brutal," Nelle says to no one. "I'm bored," Ling says just as I phone in the line for her. Ally asks Ling to "try to cope." As Number Eleven screams and starts to rush the stage for her turn, Ling kicks out a foot and trips her. The girl falls right on her face. Hee. Ling says it was an accident. Number Eleven's boobs are just fine though, and they keep swinging around much to the amusement of The Lady. Boobs. Angela Bassett boobs. Big boobs on a surprised face. Ally tilts her head. Sparkly boobs. Thighs. Cue the Bodybuilder. Shot of The Lady laughing. Richard laughs. Elaine is amused. Alanis Morrisette. Large woman faces the wrong way and dances. Tina looks tired. I hand her my third Dos Equis. She says that I'm a good woman, "and not in that Billy or Ike way." I know what she means. More dancing. Angela Bassett wannabe. Some woman who must know David E. Kelley. Woman in a wheelchair. Man. I flip channels to see if I can watch the audition scene from The Full Monty instead. Damn.
Tina now looks completely bored, since she already finished my beer. It's Elaine's turn. She stands sideways so we don't miss any of her ass as she grinds and shakes. Butt. Butt. Richard says she bets Elaine's "an amazing rattle." Ally hits him. She can hear him over all of this. Elaine continues to shake, shake, shake. Ally's number is called. Elaine takes a bow. Ally takes her sweet time to the stage and then starts slowly peeling off her jacket like she's this big wallflower. Ling tells her to break her leg. Like, really break it. In the time that it takes Ally to take off her jacket the number should have been called, but remember the name of the show. Ally stands very still. Tina is bored. Ally brings a hand to her mouth and begins moving her hips back and forth. They give her sailor pants so her hips can look even boxier than they already are. Complete vacant stare as Ally continues to simply move her hips from side to side. Side to side. Side to side. Tina tilts her head and thinks, "This is some long-ass twenty seconds here." Side to side. Side to side. Ooh, she does a round motion. Complete vacant stare. The crowd, for some reason, continues to cheer. Ally's arms go up for a second, but then she's back to the vacant stare. Tina tilts her head the other way; "I've seen more rhythm in a Robert Palmer video." Side to side. Side to side. Suddenly Ally's arms shoot forward and backward. Forward and backward. I guess this is where she's supposed to be really getting into it, but it looks like she's trying to follow a Tae-Bo tape. Quick shot of Tina's face all
Night sky as we hear the cheers come to a close. Back at the bar, time has passed. The woman comes out and announces that the winner is (all together now) Ally. John stands up and claps. Ally hugs Richard. Elaine is (understandably) shocked. Fade to commercial.
An ad for Get Real comes on, reminding me that my true hell is just around the corner. Even in a hospital bed, Kenny has absolutely no neck.
The courtroom is filled with "oddballs." John worries that they are there to complain. Richard and S&S say that they are there for support. Richard points out "Cousin It" as the judge calls the court to order.
Elaine is in paisleys. Ally is wearing pants she stole from Joey Ramone. Ally tells Elaine that she was fantastic. Elaine snaps that Ally was better. Elaine says that she's okay with it, but Ally gloats that clearly she's not. Ally says they could have picked any number of women. "But they picked you," Elaine says. "Like always. They picked you." I guess Elaine is finally catching on. Ally asks if Elaine is more upset that she didn't win or that Ally did. Elaine admits that it's both. As Ling steps into earshot, Elaine says that she needs to believe that she's better at some things than Ally. She thought dancing was one of them. "Oh, Elaine," Ally says looking down. "You're, you're just...you're not." Bitch. Elaine stares at Ally. Ally says it was just a joke. Elaine continues to be the better person and says that she'll be there to support Ally during the concert. She walks by Ling as Ally asks if Ling needs something. Ling purrs a "congratulations."
The owner of the graphic-design store is now on the witness stand. He says that he liked all of the employees he fired, but as business grew he had to put the customers first. He says that children are afraid of Quiet Witness, that The Clapper's claps are disturbing. He says that Angry Redhead Lady is "obese" and that some people have prejudices against that and thinks she's lazy. He doesn't really need to explain S&S. He says that people thought they were a "halfway home." He says that he needs to be competitive and since it's his company he has the right to run it the way he chooses. John stands up and starts getting into the owner. He says that the owner is fostering bigotry by firing these people. He says that these people have fetishes and mental disorders. The owner says that he has to make sure his customers are comfortable and it's not about product, it's about selling. "Selling, selling, selling!" "Selling, selling, selling," The Clapper echoes. The judge is getting tired. Me too. Fourth beer's a charm.
The four witnesses are yelling at John for being so mean to their former boss. Richard calls the room to order and asks for a group hug. John breaks away with a "Balls." It's nice that we started off the season with the constant use of the word "penis" and now we've moved on to "balls." I think I'll keep watching until they start throwing around the word "taint." Richard excuses himself and John and asks him what's wrong. He says that John shouldn't have yelled at The Clapper. John apologizes for not having Richard's sensitivity. John says the case has him "fraught." Richard asks if he should close. John says no.
Veruca Salt's all grown up and complaining that she thought being a backup singer would mean she'd meet Tina Turner. "I won the contest! I should get to meet her!" Tina walks in, adjusts her hair and Ally is stunned. She tries to shake Tina's hand and say what an honor it is, but The Lady doesn't really have the time. She divas off while Ally is in mid-sentence. Hee.
The firm has a front row seat for the concert. They also have their own spotlight. Tina's spokesperson (the woman giving the rules earlier) leans down to Elaine and tells her that between the two of them she wants Elaine to know that she was the best dancer out there. It's just that Tina can't have someone showing her up like that. No one can be on stage who's better than The Lady. She says that Elaine was too good. Elaine is ecstatic. Tina's spokesperson stands up and gives a wink. Ling gives her an approving look back. Elaine is happy. Ling is happy. Tina's spokeswoman goes totally against her character to do something nice. Oh, whatever. I'm still smiling. I like Ling.
The lights fade and Tina Turner is announced. Everyone claps. Tina lip-synchs badly to her own song. I don't think it's her fault; they just put the sound on at the wrong speed or something. Richard wonders if Tina had a wattlectomy. He asks where Ally is, and the lights come up on her. She's swinging back and forth, back and forth in her own spotlight. She's right to Tina. As Ally keeps in time to the music (there is no need for the shaking that happened last night) she shows how many more Tae-Bo moves she knows. Ally keeps her vacant stare, but it keeps focusing on Billy and Sandy exchanging intimate glances. The song continues. Ally keeps dancing, and then they show the audience, but everyone is blonde. Wha? Oh, God. At first I thought I had too many beers, but as they show the shot again it's clear that they've made a Being Billy Malkovich scene that's just incredibly frightening. It's more like Aphex Twin's "Come To Daddy." Hundreds of Billys fill the room and cheer for Ally. Billy and Sandy giggle. Ally winces. Lots of Billys. They clap and cheer and shout Ally's name. Tina sings. Ally moves back and forth. Room full of Billys. Elaine cheers. Billy claps. Tina Tinas. Vacant stare from Ally. Billy and Sandy. Roomful of Billy on the forty-five. The Billys toss something that looks like rose petals at her. She closes her eyes so we can see the tremendous amount of blue eye shadow they put on her. Billy smiles in slow motion. Ally opens her eyes in slow motion. Sandy claps in slow motion. Billy stares at Sandy. Ally doesn't even really move anymore, but just stares at Billy. The Billys toss more rose petals. Fade to commercial as Ally thinks that she'll never have one day of happiness. Lord, I hope not.
More Nelle, but she's still talking about her hair. Hope she's got a good lock on that contract, at least.
Ally is angry and storms into the office the morning. Elaine tries to talk to her, but Ally doesn't want to talk to anyone. She's bratty. Very bratty. Elaine asks if Ally met Tina Turner. Ally says, "I said I don't want to talk about it, but you keep talking about it. Now what part of 'I don't want to talk about it' do you not understand?" Hit her! Kevin Spacey walks out one more time to see if someone will go to lunch. Elaine says that she's talking about Ally, Ally's favorite subject, so she doesn't see what the problem is. Billy walks up, which prompts Ally to brat that he's the last person she wants to talk to. As she walks off Elaine says, "One night, she's a diva." Like this is new. Ally slams her door.
John discusses his troubled childhood where he had friends but then his friends got girls and he didn't. You've heard this before. He's just giving the same monologue to the members of the jury. They bob their heads and write things in their notebooks in unison. He then says it's so wonderful to be an adult now where the grown-ups judge each other on character and you don't get fired as long as you do your work. Not many facts presented in these closing arguments. The defense says that since this is the land of opportunity every person has the right to try to start up their own company and fill it with the people they think will best serve that company. Richard tries to object that the defense's closing arguments are boring. The defense says that these people were fired because they weren't expanding the client base of the company, which was part of their jobs.
Ally has stolen John's big gloves and is beating up the Unisex stall. Nelle walks in and watches Ally. In a cruel costume designer move, they have mocked the fact that Portia always acts with her head cranked over to the right. They have put her in a collared shirt where the collar is over on her left shoulder and the buttons fall down the side of her front. It now appears that as she's talking she's being yanked to the side by an invisible cane. She asks Ally if she can help. Ally yells, "No!" and continues hitting the stall. Nelle says this is the problem with having a night where she pretends to be somebody else because the day you have to go back "to who [sic] you are and it's devastating." Ally leans back and punches Nelle with the big glove. Nice. Sue her ass, Nelle. Nelle does too extreme of physical comedy to be even remotely considered funny and flails her arms in the air as her mouth jerks open. She whips around and pratfalls on her face as Billy walks in. Nelle jumps up and screeches, "Are you crazy?" "Yesssss," Ally growls, and now she really, really, really, really, really should be fired. Nelle walks off fixing her hair. Billy asks what's going on. Ally is having a temper tantrum. I was beaten and grounded for having one, but she'll just get another paycheck. She tells Billy to go away. Billy asks her what's wrong. "I SAID 'GO AWAY'!" God, I hate Ally. Billy asks what will happen if he doesn't leave; will she hit him too? She promptly does, sending him back into the mirror. Double lawsuit.
Billy drags Ally into his office by her "arm." They stare at each other for a few seconds. She says that she saw a whole room filled with him the night before and it was awful. He asks why. She says she doesn't know and that's why she's so upset. The last thing she wants to fantasize about is Billy. "Talk about regressing." "That was a putdown," Billy says. Ally goes on about how the lyrics of the song she was singing (backup!) last night were about pain and heartbreak and getting hurt by a man. She touches her face a lot and says she doesn't know why it happened. He asks if she's still angry. She says maybe she is. He asks why. Ally starts yelling again about how she shouldn't have to do all of the analysis. Billy yells back that he doesn't know what she's angry about. "Maybe because you left me again!" she yells. There's a moment of silence. She says that she's upset that they broke up as a couple, about which she should be relieved. She's actually fine with it, and when she looks at him and what he does, she should be relieved. She says she misses his friendship. She couldn't be friends with him the way he's been acting (this comes with another recap of the season, but I assume you know all of the things that have happened). "And then, the way that you can still see in me. And how you knew I wanted to dance, and...I so want your friendship back, I so want. I so miss it." Gee, I guess Billy really knows the real Ally, huh? Friends like those are hard to come by. Screw Elaine and Renee. And people who never met her. Billy is the only one who knew she wanted to dance. Billy says that they should try to get their friendship back. She asks how. He grabs a bowl of candy off his desk and offers it to her. He asks what's been going on in her life for the past month. She takes one candy, holds it between her fingers ("But notice how she never takes one bite, folks!"), and recaps February Sweeps. There's a look of happiness on Billy's face as Gil Bellows thinks, "I don't have to put up with this miserable bitch much longer." Billy says they should go out for drinks and talk. Ally says that he can tell her about Sandy. She asks if he likes her. He says he does. He says that his friendship with Ally is everything. He apologizes for his actions. "Are you back?" she asks. Billy stands up and opens his arms. "I'm back," he says. They hug.
The oboe is hushing us into the verdict. The jury finds in favor of the defendant. John apologizes to the clients. They say that it's okay. John says he's proud to have fought along with them. He announces to the members of the court that there is going to be a victory parade outside the courthouse. The witnesses point out that there isn't a band. John says that they'll have to make their own music. He asks The Clapper to start clapping to a beat and stick with it. He tells everyone to move their arms in the air when they hear the music. So this doesn't seem like a completely insane scene they treat us to a Sousa version of Barry White so that these people are dancing to more than just one guy clapping.
Ally and Billy do the Ally walk in the street. Eventually the people in the courthouse get into the groove (of course) and they dance out into the street. They all dance out in front of the courthouse in the night and at one point they dance in front of some police officers. The police officers don't say anything, even though these people are clearly stopping traffic. John takes a donut from one police officer, takes a bite and gives it back. Disregard the completely stupid stereotype, I can't believe this police officer is all jokey about a total stranger taking a bite of his food. "Oh, I love me some guys that dance to one guy clapping." The dancing continues as we fade to black.
And with the end of February Sweeps I don't have to look at Calista's twitchy face for a few weeks. And that, my friends, is the best gift I've gotten all year.