Previously on Alias: Whirly whirly whirly.
This recap is being brought to you by the Easter Bunny, English toffee, a nap, and a hangover provided by MY MOTHER. What? Oh, you mean other families don't celebrate the resurrection of their Lord and Savior by eating big plates of pasta and drinking the better part of a gallon of cheap wine and smoking Benson & Hedges Ultra Light 100s until two in the goddamn morning? Huh. Interesting.
We open at San Marcos Orphanage for Project Christmas Castoffs in Buenos Aires. The year is 1992 and the orphanage is chock full of sleeping girls. A swarthy dude in a black cap enters and clamps his hand over one of the girl's mouths. Then he pulls her from her bed and leads her toward the door. Little Nadia gets out of bed and flashes a light in the swarthy dude's face and orders him to let her friend go. He hisses at her to get back into bed. She's not giving up without a fight, however, so she launches herself at Swarthy Dude and it's pretty obvious that Nadia attended the Project Christmas Country Day School, because she can totally kick his ass. He's bigger than her, though, so ultimately he starts to smack her around.
She finally gets away and runs out of the room. And that's when Sonia Braga enters and she's like, dude? What the hell are you doing? And where's my Super-Special Spy Orphan? One of the little girls steps up and tells Sonia that Nadia saved someone's life and ran off. Sonia looks decidedly distressed by this information. But she doesn't look all that distressed when she sees Swarthy Dude heaving and bloody in the middle of a bunch of nightgown-clad girls. She just orders him into her office, where I imagine he is going to either be murdered with a stiletto or told to confine his girl-napping to the other wing of the orphanage. Yeah, I don't know WHAT he wanted the little girl for, but it's pretty clear that Sonia knows about it and is somehow sanctioning it. At least, that's what I think. AND ISN'T THAT ALL THAT MATTERS?
Cut to present day and Nadia running along a dirt track. You can't run from the past, Nadia! I've tried! And the damn IRS always catches up with you. Nadia heads home and greets her sister. This greeting apparently was delivered with a hidden plethora of tears and some silent dogs-can-hear-it-but-no one-else-can moaning, because Syd turns from her coffee and goes, "What's going on?" Syd has super mad spy skillz, yo. She can tell something's wrong with someone without them even saying anything. Nadia's all, uh, nothing, thanks. But I'd like some coffee. Syd's all, yeah, no, when something's bothering me, I go running and you? You've gone twice in twelve hours. So, pretty much, I'm thinking something's wrong. Cream and sugar? The phone rings and it's Vaughn. Nadia hands over the phone and then skips off without saying another word.
Syd meets up with Vaughn at an outdoor caf somewhere. He shows her his father's journal. She's as baffled by the post-death entries as he is. "Either he didn't die when the CIA says he did, which they may or may not know the truth about, or someone wants me to think he's still alive," Vaughn surmises. He tells her about meeting Murdoch and the famous back-shooting mission of 1982. Vaughn doesn't know what to believe. Syd, without hesitating, offers her help. Vaughn says that there are names of classified missions listed in Bill's journal and he wants to get details on those missions. So he needs access to all operational files at Langley, and he can't put the request in himself because, if this whole thing is being orchestrated from within, it wouldn't be a good idea to have his name stamped all over the "Hey, Can You Tell Me If My Dad's Not Dead" paperwork. Syd's just like, "Yep. I can handle that for you." Vaughn's all, are you sure, dude? Syd just looks at him and says, "Vaughn." And that's all she has to say, really. But she adds, "If your father is alive, we'll find him. And if he's not, we will find the person who's doing this." Aw. She's such a good girlfriend. I'd never do something like that for one of my boyfriends. I'm more of a surprising him at the door wearing a pair of frilly panties and holding a pitcher of beer kind of girlfriend.
Conference Room of Endless Expositions. Sloane is offering up the Device Du Jour. It's a -gen weapon called "amplifying glass" and, according to Marshall, this glass can magnify a laser pulse by 10,000. And this isbad? Apparently, it is, because it means that you can take your average CD player laser, magnify it with the glass, and whap! You can take a plane out of the sky in the blink of an eye. That rhymed. I really need to not drink. Ever. Again. Jack pipes up that the Jakarta Faction is the Baddie Du Jour. They want the glass, and they've employed some hot Argentinean guy named Cesar Martinez to get it for them.
Smash cut to another of Nadia's sad sepia-toned memories. She enters a caf and orders a coffee from the guy at the counter. Just then, Cesar enters. He walks over to some crisps, grabs a bag, opens it and starts munching away. The clerk is all, uh, dude? You gonna pay for those? Cesar's all, yeah. Right after I steal this chick's wallet. Later! He runs off, with the clerk running after him, and this gives Nadia the chance to clear out the cash register, which is now obviously their original target. The clerk comes back and sees Nadia stuffing bills into her bag. He's all, uh, what the hell are you doing? Nadia's all, say hello to mah little friend! She pulls out a gun and orders the guy to his knees, only to squirt him with her gun-shaped water pistol. Heh. She and her delightful Louise Brooks bob run laughing off into the street.
Nadia slips Weiss the key card and he, in turn, slips it to Syd. She heads to the lab with the amp glass. Nadia turns a corner and sees Cesar drifting through the party. We go back to the Past of Muted Tones and Nadia's meeting with Sonia Braga. They chat back and forth about Nadia running away and how Sonia looked for her and they're each sorry for having failed the other. Nadia then confides in Sonia about the Roberto offer, and without even blinking, Sonia tells Nadia that she should accept it. Yeah. It's pretty obvious that Sonia knows alllll about Roberto and what his "governmental agency" actually is.
Present in Full Color. Nadia gets on comms and tells everyone that Cesar has arrived. This doesn't seem to bother anyone but Nadia, because she knows Cesar so well that she knows he ain't just hanging out and doing recon. Dude's here to get the glass. Syd, en route to the lab, asks her if she's sure. Nadia's all, DO I SOUND LIKE I'M SURE? Syd just ignores her and keeps going after the glass. Sure enough, the second Syd enters the lab, guns start going off upstairs at the party. Looks like they're not killing anyone, they're just trying to get everyone on the ground. Dix orders Syd to abort, but she's headstrong and reckless and keeps on going after the glass. Upstairs, Cesar just calmly walks through the chaos with a glass of bubbly. Heh. He goes directly to the door Syd walked through not two seconds before.
Speaking of Syd, she's in the lab, playing with one of Marshall's gadgets. Cesar's making his way to her. Syd plays with the gadget. Cesar's coming. Syd opens the safe and gets the glass. Cesar and his men shoot the shit out of the lab and enter. Syd's a dead duck. Cesar finally puts down his champagne and walks over to her. Without a word, he beckons her to meet him halfway. She does. He pulls out his gun and holds out his hand for the amp glass. After a moment, Syd plops the glass into his hand. "Who do you work for?" he asks. "You forgot to say the magic word," she snarks. He bitch-slaps her with his gun. "Now you're gonna have to say 'pretty please,'" she snarks again. Heh. He asks her again who she works for, and that's when Nadia enters and says, "She works with me."
Cesar's all, Nadia? Baby? Whassup?! Syd's all, dude, you KNOW THIS GUY? Nadia's all, shut up. Oh, and Cesar? Put the guns down and let's talk. He walks over to her and gently touches her face and shoulder. Nice. He leans in and whispers something in her ear as Syd gets this expression on her face like, DUDE? WHAT'S HE SAYING? WHAT'S HE SAYING? Or maybe it's just an expression of, DAMN MY BACK HURTS AND THEY BETTER FOCUS MORE ON NADIA BECAUSE I'M GOING TO START CRYING HERE. Cesar steps back from Nadia and orders his men to tie them up. They do so as Syd glares at her sister from across the room.