Mr. Sandman, bring me a clue

S03E01

And now, during the commercial break, we all rush to the phones to call our fathers. Even if we don't like them. Or their horrific facial hair.

Paris. City of Lights. And CIA operatives with really shiny hair. Seriously. Everyone's dressed in black combat gear, and it really doesn't matter because Syd's hair is so goddamn shiny, you can probably see her from a fucking satellite. And of course she's not wearing a HAT or anything. Lord. Anyway, Agent Sean's in charge of this op, and he briefs the team. Basically, all I noticed about this scene was that some dimwit in the art department spelled "Montmartre" wrong on a sign in the background. Dude. There's a "T" in there. Learn to read, okay? Like, we know this shit doesn't take place on location or anything, but this show is all about suspension of disbelief, and when we see shit like that, our disbelief? She is NOT suspended.

So, right -- the CIA kids go busting into this building in Paris that Syd knows absolutely nothing about. Agent Sean and Dix keep asking her if she remembers anything, but she doesn't. What follows is a very long and drawn-out scene inside the building that involves a bunch of the CIA operatives running around with guns and flashlights. Oh, and we learn that Agent Sean's op name is "Retriever." Hee. At some point, some enemies enter the building and start shooting the shit out of all the agents. Dix tries to order an abort, but Syd and Sean decide to go for it. Sean goes to care for a fallen agent, and MBBGG from the train shows up and knocks him down.

At the same time, Syd gets cornered in a lab of some sort, and some guys come at her with guns. She makes a makeshift bomb out of some handy chemicals and blows the bad guys straight to hell. She kicks some more ass, and comes upon MBBGG just as he's about to slit Sean's throat. They have a moment of recognition before Syd comes to her senses and shoots at him. MBBGG scampers off. After making sure that Sean's okay, Syd runs after the bad guys, but they just peel out around the corner.

Sean comes out and informs Syd that all their team members are dead. Syd's verklempt. She's all, dude. I've never been here before. I made all that shit up so I could go talk to my dad. Sean's all, seriously? IT'S CALLED A PHONE. LOOK INTO IT. I mean, really. You and Vaughn. Masters of OVER-FUCKING-DOING IT. Syd's all, if I hadn't lied about this, none of the team would be dead. Sean's all, yeah, well, if you HADN'T been here, they all would have been dead anyway, me along with them. So shaddup already. Sean says they have to get home, but Syd wisely assumes that if she goes back to Mr. Head with a dead team and no chip, he'll pull her clearance, and she'll never be able to clear her father or get to the bottom of her two-year nap. Sean's all, so? What're you thinking? Syd's all, that guy who was gonna kill you, I saw his face. If I could make a positive ID, that could lead to the chip, and that could lead to leverage. Like Jack, Sean's all, leverage for what? Syd's like, to get my dad out of custody, dipshit! What've we been TALKING about? Instead of just telling her to get over her fucking daddy complex and take a Valium like any normal human being, Sean just looks at her like, "What'd you have in mind?" "I'm gonna need a contact," she says. "A freelancer. Not with the CIA. Someone with resources. All of my names are two years old." "You're not gonna like my suggestion," says Sean. "You should go see Arvin Sloane." Syd's all, the what? In the where? With the who? Sean tells her that Sloane negotiated a pardon after her death and is now a consultant with the CIA. "He runs a world health organization out of Zurich," he says. "OmniFam." Heh. That just sounds wrong. Syd tells Sean that they never had this conversation and that, after the gunfight, she disappeared; he never saw her again. Sean's all, oh shit. Maybe I shouldn't have told you that thing about Sloane. What're you gonna do? Syd just runs off. No, seriously, Syd -- what're you gonna do? Syd? Hello? Bring me back some chocolate, okay? You hear me?